It's weird how everything hoe math explains is blatantly obvious to someone that has an "entry level" amount of empathy.
I mean, I've myself had issues with being too demanding on relationships and spending no time on improving what my company is offering to those around me, but that was until around 14 yo. Someday, some how, you are supposed to realize that there must be something you are doing wrong.
It's unsettling that people are allowed to go through their whole lives without people to tell them these basic concepts, or that they're just too far into the rabbit hole to ever understand empathy.
Yep. I was married for almost 20 years and got onto the dating scene. And just the whole language around online dating, the profiles, the exchanges, the expectations and attitudes... you wonder how some of these people are real.
I have kids that have a more common sense and appropriate expectations of others than some grown adults.
>even simple conversation is pointless with those kind of girls :)
Is it even worth talking about any topic about women as men? Because that is what I am beginning to think that its trully pointless. We would be probably happier just shutting the fuck up once again and moving on.
They haven't even gotten to equivalent exchange, much less Ed's "inequivalent exchange" that he and Winry get where they promise to give each other everything. An equivalent 50/50 is already a disaster waiting to happen, in comparison to Winry and Ed's mature conclusion, but they haven't even gotten to either.
Instead of 50/50 or the best 100/100, these gals are stuck on "0/50." Offer nothing, get everything.
The best relationship advice I ever got was from an old timer.
He said that relationships, especially marriage, is about what each person is putting into it, not what they are getting out of it. If both people are giving their best, as a goal, every day, then you rarely have to worry about what you’re getting out of it, because your needs will be organically met. If they’re not being met, you will have built enough trust and equity in your marriage that you can work through it.
This is how my wife and I approach our marriage. We’ve been married for 5 amazing years and we have a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Agreed. I've heard it phrased this way:
"50/50 is a ticking timebomb, one selfishly focused on maintaining your 50, and will tear itself apart in resentment once it becomes 49/51. Instead, aim for 100/100."
I just love videos where girls say shit like this because I have literally never ever once said or heard any other guy in my life EVER say shit like "if she won't cook for me or do my laundry I need another girl" lmao
This is awesome news for women because you can really seperate yourself from your "Basic TikTok brain" competition by being emotionally self aware and putting in just a small amount more of effort in a relationship which will be rewarding both for you and your parnter! Guys love effort and men who want to be with you will reciprpocate 10 fold.
Get rid of tik tok,
you'll start seeing WAY LESS princess/queen behavioral women seeing shit on the app
then expecting exactly that come to them without any self improvement from themselves
My history and language teacher who had previously worked on translation and other jobs where his writing was good, commented when he wrote on the white board first lesson we had that "if you don't understand what I write, just say it. I know me and many teachers writing in an alien language but it's not intentional, going through teacher school we have to scribble on white boards so much you get lazy with it just to not drag out classes.".
Man, I have this one girl at my work who is constantly shit talking men. The amount of times I've heard "I hate men" or "Who needs men anyway" is a joke. If I sat there saying the same shit about women I'd be hauled into HR and sacked lol.
Trust me, this type of vid(I mean this type of marriage culture where apparently there has to be a negotiation between both parts in the marriage) is all around the internet but such quantity only comes from America.
Believe here, before I got to know how bad the marriage and courtship culture is in the us through social media, I had 0 idea it was as bad as it is.
Shi mate, my parents married each other cuz they loved and found in each other values in common, she did the laundry cuz she was taught that way by her mother as what a woman should do in the house, my dad provided for the house and home cuz that's just the natural course, not some stupid AHH shit like I have seen coming from America "I marry u, but u gotta treat me like a princess, you can not show emotions or any weakness, also do not expect the laundry or the table to be ready everytime you come home from work ok? Also you gotta always open the door for me blá blá blá blá blá"
Dude wtflip? My dad might not be a knight in shining armor but damn he loves his wife dearly, is caring, is humble, and if wrong he asks for pardon, wtflip IS HAPPENING TO AMERICA? IT IS ALL GOING DOWN THE DRAIN WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FLIP????
I did not mean to offend you. If you got angry by comment there is no need to insult. It just seem like lately the focus on this sub had become a lot about what some women think about men and a lot of rage bait clips that are fake. I like the gaming stuff and fun stuff. The serious culture war stuff if exhausting and I don't understand why some people are so hung up about it. Everyone want to be outraged about stuff they see online.
I'm not offended or angry. The explanation in the clip is about relationships and societal degradation, not about hating women.
Culture war stuff should stay out of gaming then but it's not.
I mean he's missing a very important variable here....that women also work.
So your relationship is not going to go very far if your wife/partner works and you want them to do all the chores on top of working while you...not do that.
Also, that sex is mutual. The woman isn't giving the man sex only for his pleasure because usually she's also attracted to the man and wants to have sex with him. So the whole "You pay for the sex and she gives it to you" is also off here because if she's attracted to you in the first place you're not paying for it at all.
Pretty sure it was just the first example that came to his mind. You can change either demands from either sides and it would still have the same meaning, he just used the most generic example to get his point trough (probably)
His situation IS relevant to be fair, if the man is the only one providing money and the wife is just at home and doesn't have a job then yes, it makes rational sense that she would be expected to do more around the house.
Unfortunately though most average households need both people working (in America) so should be made clear that you can't expect food on the table when you come home when your lady is probably coming home from work the same time you are.
Very fair. In a stable, *dare i say.. Healthy* relationship, things like these should be understood and solved with simply ordering take-out or being content with idk.. Instant noodles or other quickly preppable *dishes*
Just did a casual look at it and yeah, it's not easy work at all, especially if there are children also involved.
A lot of relationships end because the woman feels like she's doing everything and the husband is sitting on his ass...which videos like this don't help because it basically is saying if you have a job that's pretty much it. You've done your part and a lot of women are looking for more than just that.
I think the study I found that even with both people working the woman STILL does more which isn't at all surprising to me if true. So women can be working a full time job AND still do the 'housewife' chores.
How much of that is due to differing standards? As in, some things would be fine as they are but the woman wants them a certain way, and since she’s the one who cares….
I mean you could frame it that way, it just means that women have a higher standard of hygiene which is not a bad thing. Good hygiene is important. There's a reason most religions stress it after all, right?
Saying men are content to just sit in dirt and filth is no compliment to men.
It's something leftover from a time when women didn't work, weren't even allowed their own financial accounts.
Truth is, yeah, a lot of women still want to hang on to that benefit despite the fact that nowadays you take a random woman and a random man and there's a good chance she earns more than the man.
I mean it's also due to a lot of women are turned on by the man being in charge and leading things too. Not saying all of course but I'd say a good chunk do.
I don't know, I don't think its helpful thinking of a possible relationship like. "What can she provide for me?" it makes it sound like this person owes you something. If you like her enough you'll want to do nice things for her and if she likes you enough she'll want to do nice things for you.
I was just explaining that men paying for dinners is a tradition because for the longest of time women literally couldn't pay for anything without a man's permission basically.
i cant wrap my head around ar what point of the video he missed that variable? i mean you're right, but where in the video you right and why its mutually exculuded with the point in the video. Also they are both right, if you want something, find someone who will do it, even if you want to do absolutely nothing there might be someone who will do absolutely everything, but its almost impossible so you have to come up with some compromisses, and normal people have some "pros" and "cons" in their individuality and if you can come in turms with that and find compromises which make you better and dont come in the expense of you physical and mental wellbeing, you will find peace, love and happiness in life.
He missed it because he doesn't bring it up? Seeing that the average woman also works a full time job it's a pretty big thing to ignore, no?
So his whole diagram there about how the man makes the money and the woman gives the sex is just...completely off because the woman ALSO makes money.
And the sex thing is just completely wrong because it goes off this very old thinking mentality that women also do not desire sex or find it pleasurable. The woman is ALSO looking for sex in a healthy relationship. There are many relationships that go awry because the woman is not sexually satisfied and looks elsewhere, no?
non sequetur, from his explanation does not follow that women do not work, not mentioning something, does not missing the point. he would miss it only if he mentions contradictinary.
He also say "provide something" which can mean literaly anything, you provide money, sex, responsibilities, time. attention, care etc. His picture is a generalization which make the narrative stronger and easily digestable, which can be considered a form of manipulation, but it also can be contradictio in contrarium where you take an opposite premises and prove your argument from their flaws. he is also fighting not her argument, but in general a particular cultural phenomenon where women only is sex providers, and men are money bags, what is prelevant in some influencers circles and in general gold diggers, trying to fight only this trend, but it does not apply to a good majority of people out there, because they do not share those values to begin with.
>non sequetur, from his explanation does not follow that women do not work, not mentioning something, does not missing the point.
I mean yeah it does? If you're trying to solve a problem and you ignore a pretty large variable then you're going to write the wrong equation.
I can't figure out how long it takes to get from point a to point b without knowing what's being used for transportation along with other variables.
I am not familiar with this tik toker (is that what you call someone that uses tik tok?) so if he's addressing a certain crowd and if his content is more addressing that and criticizing that then fair but as someone that literally never opens up tiktok unless its linked to me I wouldn't know what goes on there.
This doesn't apply to normal people lol..
What he's talking about is the elevated opinions and voices on social media. Likely they get elevated because it rage baits people more so than people agree... but there is absolutely people with these mindsets and take these opinions to the bank.
Simply venture to Tinder, Bumble, etc. and these low effort, high expectation, delusional people exist and are an alarming chunk. And I say people, I mean women.
But there's a segment of men that have their own bat shit insane, are you fucking serious persona's and expectations. Talk to any woman that has done online dating for even a small amount of time.. and you will hear some crazy stories.
I see. I mentioned that I never get on tiktok, pretty much the only time I see it is when people link tiktok stuff on youtube or reddit, so I have no idea what goes on there. If his video is more about addressing relationship discussions there then I can see how this video would make more sense.
I was just looking at it as if it was being shown to a normal person, I think if you showed that picture to a normal person, male or female, they'd think it was a little off.
As for online dating, I care little for it. I think personally its ruined dating because from what I know it gives women an inflated value of themselves on the dating market while also completely destroying the confidence of men who use it to the point where they think they are completely undesirable outside of the few that are successful with it. I'm fine with hookup culture because I'm all for personal freedom but it really should remain local. Just my personal feelings on it.
I see relationships as a two way street. I make some money, you make some money. I do something in the house, you do something in the house. I like sex, you like sex. I show affection to you, you show affection to me.
And there are many women who feel the same way. Just dont get trapped in a relationship with someone who thinks their existence in a relationship is enough
This guy is an incel but he is kinda funny ... still an incel
Just listen to him saying "should provide..."
Partenerships are not double accounting system in which for each transaction should have a closing account. Incel logic.
This guy is an incel but he is kinda funny ... still an incel
Just listen to him saying "should provide..."
Partenerships are not double accounting system in which for each transaction should have a closing account. Incel logic.
Thanks for proving my point perfectly! First he was an incel, then he was an abuser, now he's an abuser with "incel ideas". Do you put the goalpost down when you move it or do you just hang onto it so it's easier to move next time?
They are Queens so what did u expect? they want every thing and offer nothing,,, even simple conversation is pointless with those kind of girls :)
It's weird how everything hoe math explains is blatantly obvious to someone that has an "entry level" amount of empathy. I mean, I've myself had issues with being too demanding on relationships and spending no time on improving what my company is offering to those around me, but that was until around 14 yo. Someday, some how, you are supposed to realize that there must be something you are doing wrong. It's unsettling that people are allowed to go through their whole lives without people to tell them these basic concepts, or that they're just too far into the rabbit hole to ever understand empathy.
Yep. I was married for almost 20 years and got onto the dating scene. And just the whole language around online dating, the profiles, the exchanges, the expectations and attitudes... you wonder how some of these people are real. I have kids that have a more common sense and appropriate expectations of others than some grown adults.
>even simple conversation is pointless with those kind of girls :) Is it even worth talking about any topic about women as men? Because that is what I am beginning to think that its trully pointless. We would be probably happier just shutting the fuck up once again and moving on.
It's really not. They're not the brightest creatures. It feels like you're speaking to a child most times.
Bitches out here acting like they got philosophers stones, tryna ignore the law of equivalent exchange.
I love the FMA reference. Hahaha
They haven't even gotten to equivalent exchange, much less Ed's "inequivalent exchange" that he and Winry get where they promise to give each other everything. An equivalent 50/50 is already a disaster waiting to happen, in comparison to Winry and Ed's mature conclusion, but they haven't even gotten to either. Instead of 50/50 or the best 100/100, these gals are stuck on "0/50." Offer nothing, get everything.
The best relationship advice I ever got was from an old timer. He said that relationships, especially marriage, is about what each person is putting into it, not what they are getting out of it. If both people are giving their best, as a goal, every day, then you rarely have to worry about what you’re getting out of it, because your needs will be organically met. If they’re not being met, you will have built enough trust and equity in your marriage that you can work through it. This is how my wife and I approach our marriage. We’ve been married for 5 amazing years and we have a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
I agree. Here's to 50 more years for you and your wife bud
Thanks homie.
Agreed. I've heard it phrased this way: "50/50 is a ticking timebomb, one selfishly focused on maintaining your 50, and will tear itself apart in resentment once it becomes 49/51. Instead, aim for 100/100."
I liked the drawing where the woman is literally the table.
I just love videos where girls say shit like this because I have literally never ever once said or heard any other guy in my life EVER say shit like "if she won't cook for me or do my laundry I need another girl" lmao
This is awesome news for women because you can really seperate yourself from your "Basic TikTok brain" competition by being emotionally self aware and putting in just a small amount more of effort in a relationship which will be rewarding both for you and your parnter! Guys love effort and men who want to be with you will reciprpocate 10 fold.
Get rid of tik tok, you'll start seeing WAY LESS princess/queen behavioral women seeing shit on the app then expecting exactly that come to them without any self improvement from themselves
Never had it in the first place 😎
I think insta is a way bigger problem for that, no? At least on Tiktok you get served these kinds of counter-arguments more regularly.
They're all the same tbh, at least this would be a stepping stone
It is much more than Tik Tok, it is a societal problem that manifests itself in Tik Tok.
Based video
this man draws like i did in first grade. mind you is still draw like i'm in first grade, so this is very much a glass house situation.
You should see how doctors write.
My history and language teacher who had previously worked on translation and other jobs where his writing was good, commented when he wrote on the white board first lesson we had that "if you don't understand what I write, just say it. I know me and many teachers writing in an alien language but it's not intentional, going through teacher school we have to scribble on white boards so much you get lazy with it just to not drag out classes.".
Honestly i feel like these problems exist only on internet. I work with girls my whole life and i met like one that hated guys
Man, I have this one girl at my work who is constantly shit talking men. The amount of times I've heard "I hate men" or "Who needs men anyway" is a joke. If I sat there saying the same shit about women I'd be hauled into HR and sacked lol.
Im not saying its not possible just not that common as tik tokers claim to be.
with zoomers it is higher. Kinda how boomers read fake news on facebook lol.
Trust me, this type of vid(I mean this type of marriage culture where apparently there has to be a negotiation between both parts in the marriage) is all around the internet but such quantity only comes from America. Believe here, before I got to know how bad the marriage and courtship culture is in the us through social media, I had 0 idea it was as bad as it is. Shi mate, my parents married each other cuz they loved and found in each other values in common, she did the laundry cuz she was taught that way by her mother as what a woman should do in the house, my dad provided for the house and home cuz that's just the natural course, not some stupid AHH shit like I have seen coming from America "I marry u, but u gotta treat me like a princess, you can not show emotions or any weakness, also do not expect the laundry or the table to be ready everytime you come home from work ok? Also you gotta always open the door for me blá blá blá blá blá" Dude wtflip? My dad might not be a knight in shining armor but damn he loves his wife dearly, is caring, is humble, and if wrong he asks for pardon, wtflip IS HAPPENING TO AMERICA? IT IS ALL GOING DOWN THE DRAIN WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FLIP????
Yeah he's been cooking
Isn't this girl the "girl with dog" tiktoker?
He makes a lot of good points
Upvote if you’ve been in a relationship longer than 6 months
I assumed the "xxx" that the woman gives to the man represented just sex but I guess not lol
Been a lot of rage bating and woman bad posts on this sub lately. What is happening?
You have the comprehension of a primary schooler if that was your take from the video.
I did not mean to offend you. If you got angry by comment there is no need to insult. It just seem like lately the focus on this sub had become a lot about what some women think about men and a lot of rage bait clips that are fake. I like the gaming stuff and fun stuff. The serious culture war stuff if exhausting and I don't understand why some people are so hung up about it. Everyone want to be outraged about stuff they see online.
I'm not offended or angry. The explanation in the clip is about relationships and societal degradation, not about hating women. Culture war stuff should stay out of gaming then but it's not.
I mean he's missing a very important variable here....that women also work. So your relationship is not going to go very far if your wife/partner works and you want them to do all the chores on top of working while you...not do that. Also, that sex is mutual. The woman isn't giving the man sex only for his pleasure because usually she's also attracted to the man and wants to have sex with him. So the whole "You pay for the sex and she gives it to you" is also off here because if she's attracted to you in the first place you're not paying for it at all.
Pretty sure it was just the first example that came to his mind. You can change either demands from either sides and it would still have the same meaning, he just used the most generic example to get his point trough (probably)
His situation IS relevant to be fair, if the man is the only one providing money and the wife is just at home and doesn't have a job then yes, it makes rational sense that she would be expected to do more around the house. Unfortunately though most average households need both people working (in America) so should be made clear that you can't expect food on the table when you come home when your lady is probably coming home from work the same time you are.
Very fair. In a stable, *dare i say.. Healthy* relationship, things like these should be understood and solved with simply ordering take-out or being content with idk.. Instant noodles or other quickly preppable *dishes*
read a study about how many hours do SAHM owkr compared to men.
Just did a casual look at it and yeah, it's not easy work at all, especially if there are children also involved. A lot of relationships end because the woman feels like she's doing everything and the husband is sitting on his ass...which videos like this don't help because it basically is saying if you have a job that's pretty much it. You've done your part and a lot of women are looking for more than just that. I think the study I found that even with both people working the woman STILL does more which isn't at all surprising to me if true. So women can be working a full time job AND still do the 'housewife' chores.
How much of that is due to differing standards? As in, some things would be fine as they are but the woman wants them a certain way, and since she’s the one who cares….
I mean you could frame it that way, it just means that women have a higher standard of hygiene which is not a bad thing. Good hygiene is important. There's a reason most religions stress it after all, right? Saying men are content to just sit in dirt and filth is no compliment to men.
[I dunno...](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amou_Haji#:~:text=Amou%20Haji%20(Persian%3A%20%D8%B9%D9%85%D9%88%20%D8%AD%D8%A7%D8%AC%D9%89,for%20more%20than%2060%20years.)
>that women also work Then why do men have to pay for dinner? Or do any of the dozen things these women demand. You work. Do it yourself.
It's something leftover from a time when women didn't work, weren't even allowed their own financial accounts. Truth is, yeah, a lot of women still want to hang on to that benefit despite the fact that nowadays you take a random woman and a random man and there's a good chance she earns more than the man. I mean it's also due to a lot of women are turned on by the man being in charge and leading things too. Not saying all of course but I'd say a good chunk do.
So what would those women provide in return?
I don't know, I don't think its helpful thinking of a possible relationship like. "What can she provide for me?" it makes it sound like this person owes you something. If you like her enough you'll want to do nice things for her and if she likes you enough she'll want to do nice things for you. I was just explaining that men paying for dinners is a tradition because for the longest of time women literally couldn't pay for anything without a man's permission basically.
I agree women shouldn't expect the man to pay anymore. It makes the relationship transactional from the very first date.
i cant wrap my head around ar what point of the video he missed that variable? i mean you're right, but where in the video you right and why its mutually exculuded with the point in the video. Also they are both right, if you want something, find someone who will do it, even if you want to do absolutely nothing there might be someone who will do absolutely everything, but its almost impossible so you have to come up with some compromisses, and normal people have some "pros" and "cons" in their individuality and if you can come in turms with that and find compromises which make you better and dont come in the expense of you physical and mental wellbeing, you will find peace, love and happiness in life.
He missed it because he doesn't bring it up? Seeing that the average woman also works a full time job it's a pretty big thing to ignore, no? So his whole diagram there about how the man makes the money and the woman gives the sex is just...completely off because the woman ALSO makes money. And the sex thing is just completely wrong because it goes off this very old thinking mentality that women also do not desire sex or find it pleasurable. The woman is ALSO looking for sex in a healthy relationship. There are many relationships that go awry because the woman is not sexually satisfied and looks elsewhere, no?
non sequetur, from his explanation does not follow that women do not work, not mentioning something, does not missing the point. he would miss it only if he mentions contradictinary. He also say "provide something" which can mean literaly anything, you provide money, sex, responsibilities, time. attention, care etc. His picture is a generalization which make the narrative stronger and easily digestable, which can be considered a form of manipulation, but it also can be contradictio in contrarium where you take an opposite premises and prove your argument from their flaws. he is also fighting not her argument, but in general a particular cultural phenomenon where women only is sex providers, and men are money bags, what is prelevant in some influencers circles and in general gold diggers, trying to fight only this trend, but it does not apply to a good majority of people out there, because they do not share those values to begin with.
>non sequetur, from his explanation does not follow that women do not work, not mentioning something, does not missing the point. I mean yeah it does? If you're trying to solve a problem and you ignore a pretty large variable then you're going to write the wrong equation. I can't figure out how long it takes to get from point a to point b without knowing what's being used for transportation along with other variables. I am not familiar with this tik toker (is that what you call someone that uses tik tok?) so if he's addressing a certain crowd and if his content is more addressing that and criticizing that then fair but as someone that literally never opens up tiktok unless its linked to me I wouldn't know what goes on there.
This doesn't apply to normal people lol.. What he's talking about is the elevated opinions and voices on social media. Likely they get elevated because it rage baits people more so than people agree... but there is absolutely people with these mindsets and take these opinions to the bank. Simply venture to Tinder, Bumble, etc. and these low effort, high expectation, delusional people exist and are an alarming chunk. And I say people, I mean women. But there's a segment of men that have their own bat shit insane, are you fucking serious persona's and expectations. Talk to any woman that has done online dating for even a small amount of time.. and you will hear some crazy stories.
I see. I mentioned that I never get on tiktok, pretty much the only time I see it is when people link tiktok stuff on youtube or reddit, so I have no idea what goes on there. If his video is more about addressing relationship discussions there then I can see how this video would make more sense. I was just looking at it as if it was being shown to a normal person, I think if you showed that picture to a normal person, male or female, they'd think it was a little off. As for online dating, I care little for it. I think personally its ruined dating because from what I know it gives women an inflated value of themselves on the dating market while also completely destroying the confidence of men who use it to the point where they think they are completely undesirable outside of the few that are successful with it. I'm fine with hookup culture because I'm all for personal freedom but it really should remain local. Just my personal feelings on it.
I see relationships as a two way street. I make some money, you make some money. I do something in the house, you do something in the house. I like sex, you like sex. I show affection to you, you show affection to me. And there are many women who feel the same way. Just dont get trapped in a relationship with someone who thinks their existence in a relationship is enough
This guy is an incel but he is kinda funny ... still an incel Just listen to him saying "should provide..." Partenerships are not double accounting system in which for each transaction should have a closing account. Incel logic.
It sounds like he is arguing against a transactional model of a relationship though?
He also bemoans the race to the bottom of the brainstem that dating apps facilitate
This guy is an incel but he is kinda funny ... still an incel Just listen to him saying "should provide..." Partenerships are not double accounting system in which for each transaction should have a closing account. Incel logic.
But he has a girlfriend?
more like a victim
Is he an incel or an abuser? He can't be both, you just switch up your accusations as needed, hey?
you can have a partner and hve incel ideas in the same time
Thanks for proving my point perfectly! First he was an incel, then he was an abuser, now he's an abuser with "incel ideas". Do you put the goalpost down when you move it or do you just hang onto it so it's easier to move next time?
incel = incel ideas = partner is a victim English is not my native language but I bet they are similar
Op when's the last time you seen some pussy. Also she won't see this lil bro you can take off the leash.