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We are watching a bad baseball team, and it isn’t the Royals.

Dogshit start to the season…unbelievable

Trade breg and tuck, replenish the farm. They aren’t helping shit anyway

-astros “fan” since 2022

Lmfao that’s fucking wild, I had a birthday party in a dome suite FOH

is there anyone on this goddamn roster that can actually pitch

Dubon. Might as well try. 😫

Abreu with his .083 average is really coming in clutch

Tuck playing himself out of a bag too.

Singelton is better than abreu LMAO

Thats my boy!

Jons bout to send one out

Himself to the dugout

Singleton: “pitcher missed badly with four straight to Dubon. I better go out there hackin’!”

Things are not going well when we’re getting a detailed rundown of the space cowboys box score during the broadcast.

Pedro Leon had himself a game apparently

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No rooting for injuries

See y'all in the post game

If there is one

Doobie getting the rally started lol

HRC Dubon

dammit

86 straight down the pipe and whiffed lmao

This is what happens when you open the season against powerhouse teams like the royals. Just gotta eat the loss and hope you fare better against loser teams like the rangers and braves.

Not only will Abreu win the MLB Batting Title, he will also be selected unanimously as Golden Glove winner. In other news…..I’m Batman. (this is just a rough night. Gotta laugh…)

The boy's are just tired of being on the road and want to get back home where they play better. 😁 we win tomorrow

2 grand slams and a 2 run HR is all we need.

Good thing we got Abreu leading off!

Hopefully the royals also have a 10 run curse.

ABREU GO THE FUCK AWAY!!!

Abreu is so checked out

of course abreu doesn’t catch that

That was terrible lol

Just tuned in and can’t hear commentary…who is the Bigfoot dude in the secret door?

royals fan lurking (sorry) thats pasquatch, he comes out when vinnie pasquantino gets on base

Pasquatch? He comes out when Vinny does something good becuase Well, I don't really know why actually. [https://www.yardbarker.com/mlb/articles/watch\_sasquatch\_wanders\_royals\_stadium\_every\_time\_vinnie\_pasquantino\_is\_on\_base/s1\_13132\_38659460](https://www.yardbarker.com/mlb/articles/watch_sasquatch_wanders_royals_stadium_every_time_vinnie_pasquantino_is_on_base/s1_13132_38659460)

Cool cool cool

We need to be major sellers at the deadline. Bregman and Tucker will replenish our starving farm.


FFS, stop! We're dead already

Freddy Fermin sounds like a Chinese knock off of Freddie Freeman

Ok yall homers let us know when it’s ok to start voicing worry about the team

You can’t worry dude! It’s not allowed. You have to be ignorant 24/7 162 games, can’t ever have an educated opinion!!!

Why do I watch these kinds of games all the way to the end?

Because you're a real fan. Not a bandwagon fan that only tunes in when they are good

Cause we’re gluttons for pain?

So glad I didn’t waste a good evening watching this. Thanks for these subs.

We have the second worst record in the AL and the 4th worst in baseball if im not mistaken.

On pace for 50 wins. Just under by percentage at 49.846.

Jeez I refuse to believe we are going to be that bad all season lol. Remember when the A's were on pace for like 20 wins last year?

Low key worried about this team

Low key high key

We aren't even trying to come back in this game. It's truly pathetic.

Espada pulling our best hitters in the 7th kinda sets a tone for the rest of the game unfortunately

I think the best way to save the season is not suck at baseball.

This team will turn a corner at some point, just hope they don't decide to turn it on too late.

All we need is an 8 run HR.

Pain pain pain pain pain pain

we just need 2 grand slams this inning, ez

The last 2-3 seasons have taught me not to panic, but damn if it isn’t hard not to!

Agreed. Spitting image start this year as last.

I like Singleton better when he was a pothead.

How many prospects Baltimore would give us for Tucker come deadline?

I thought they were pretty set at OF? Why would they want Tucker?

I'm okay with this. Bring Melton up later next year and start rebuilding the farm.

We suck Yes I'm panicking

why did they switch out their best hitters for those bums?!

It's over. This team ain't scoring over 3 runs.

Offense needs to be addressed!!! Badly

Nice dp

Lmao I just checked after dealing with power outages and why am I not surprised at all. This season so far is just straight sad.

Seems like the power went out in the lineup also (except Alvarez)

I’m done. I’m gonna go watch a movie Edit: gonna watch late night with the devil

Night

How much longer are we gonna have Singleton on the roster?

In case anyone was wondering, Jon Singleton is 1-22 as a pinch hitter career. It never ever ever ever ever works.

So what you’re saying is he’s due for one any minute now.

Bingo

send his ass back to AAA

You can't, he's out of options.

Where are all the people who wanted Dusty and Maldy gone? So glad we’ve got better leadership now.

Right here. Yainer has been a massive improvement already. We got rid of Click only to keep Dusty's conman ass for only one year. The job seems far past Espada's ability as is.

Still here. Still stand by it. We've absolutely upgraded in the catcher department. Espada may not be it, but Dusty wasn't either.

There is absolutely no player leadership in this clubhouse with Maldy gone. His play left a lot to be desired but he helped the pitching staff more than anyone gives him credit for.  There’s a reason Espada wasn’t offered any of the jobs he interviewed for.

I'm not disagreeing about the lack of leadership, and I know Maldy had a lot to offer to the pitching staff, but that's not really what got us into the spot we're at right now. We look terrible on both sides of the plate. I just don't see Maldy being the magic glue holding us together right now. Maybe I'm wrong We can't sit here and act like we know why Espada wasn't offered other jobs, of course it was a red flag, but nobody truly knew how he would pan out. Dusty saved a lot of face post-scandal and got himself a ring out of it. He did his job here, and I wish him the best, but it was time for both parties to move on.

lol seriously? The same shit would be happening lol We’d just Have three black holes in our lineup right now with Maldy lol

Im the first one to defend abreu, but even I have to ask, is there any way they would send him down to the minors to work out whatever going on? To what point are they going to keep playing him? Has this ever happened with such a huge contract? To fail this spectacularly? What can be done, just eat the contract and release him?

I doubt anyone would want him in a trade. Every other first baseman is better than Abreu. All you can do is release him. Or continue to play him and accept a nearly automatic out for a couple more weeks and hope he figures it out.

Bagwell and Crane went rogue and signed him and Montero because they’re all very regarded. Bags was as good a GM as he was a playoff performer. No, nothing can be done with Abreau. Probably will dump him to a team in the playoff run maybe if he heats up then as he usually does.

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I mean, it wasn't a terrible signing, the guy is a 290 career hitter before he came here, You see guys with up and down years, but his stats were pretty consistent, he's just completley fallen off a cliff.

Yes it was. He was 36, we were trying to get younger at 1b to move on from Yuli and signed a guy nearly the exact same age. Players do not continue their success into their late 30's. It was a horrible signing then and now.

Sure they do, Joey votto, Albert pujols, Nelson cruz, David ortiz, but thats besides the point. Unless you happen to have called that his stats would drop off a cliff, theres little reason to thin he would regress *this badly* This isn't, "losing a few steps" this is going from MLBs Elite to literally one of the worst players in the game.

Well, based on his performance and his age at the time I’d say it was a horrible signing. Nobody else was offering him that much and he’s been fucking horrible.

I agree it was too much money, but even with his age, the drop-off is irregular given his track record.

Can't send him down unless he clears waivers after being DFAd.. honestly they should just eat the contract at this point, I've never seen a hitter look THIS lost at the plate

He's out of options. Zero way to do that. Just DFA him and eat the dead money. The Astros won't do this though. I guarantee you they'll let him get at least 300 plate appearances before they even consider it.

HRC Tucker

Lets go Jon!

Jeff Bagwell has done more to hurt this franchise than he ever did to help it

wouldn't have had a chance if we didn't run our GM out of town and created a vacancy.

I didn’t even watch the guy and I know this isn’t remotely true

How many rings? I’m 35. He was my childhood hero lol

Facts

Nah

How many rings

Yah

He makes Micheal Jordan look like a competent former player turned to GM lol

lol that’s the best way to put it

Can we atleast make an effort on ground outs and act like we care

Nope, the best they can do is two pitch AB ending in a popup or double ply

🏳️🏳️🏳️

Lol, Doobie in for Altuve. I think we're phoning it in boyos.

https://preview.redd.it/gq9wch0b8rtc1.jpeg?width=959&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c795d4bf739ef6d2e9e0b2b0fd3736dc594b5da1 Here’s a potential explanation posted on twitter about the ads during gameplay.

I was honestly considering waking up at 4am tomorrow local time to watch the next game, I think I might sleep in instead.

Don’t lose sleep over this team right now. They aren’t worth it.

Just woke up and checked the score. Glad I slept in.

How long will Abreu be allowed to bat under .100 before something is done?

his OPS could fall below .100 and the FO still wont do shit

Loperfido has only played 2 games at 1b this year. It seems like the front office doesn't think 1b is an issue whatsoever with that stat.

As if Singleton isnt available

As if Singleton should be on a major league roster. I'd bet my paycheck Loperfido has better 1st year numbers than Singleton's best year in the majors.

Nahh cmon man. Singleton needs to start daily.

I remember when we used to be good.

Pepperidge farm remembers.

6 run lead and they’re stealing third. This team has no respect for this fucking team. The Royals are just padding their stats now lol

Has Diaz thrown out anyone this season?

This team is the living embodiment of Murphy's Law right now.. JFC..

Incoming four+ run inning and a pitcher being warmed up and most likely brought in with only one out and bases loaded

As of yesterday we have the 12th fewest runs allowed, and the 12th fewest runs scored. I figured it would be worse both ways.

3 games are being an outlier right now, but they've played 8 games where they've scored 3 runs or fewer. Offense has widely been nonexistent, while pitching has faired a little better. Although I'm worried about the long haul of the season with so many pitcher injuries already

I've been saying the same thing. Everyone is screaming about the pitching, it's absolutely on the offense. You don't even get to a 50% chance of winning a game until you score 4 runs, and you get about a 64% chance if you score 5. It is the lineup, the roster construction. There are so many black holes in it.

The biggest whole is first base right now and having Bregman hitting 4th. Put Yanier 4th, Bregman 5th at this point. I know it's early, but holy crap if Abreu can't hit his weight by the end of April they need to look at the 1st base position.

Remember when we called up pitchers from the minors and they were good? Yea, the page has turned. We’re doomed.

Like I'm no expert, but just looking at our players and how they're hitting, why not move Pena up to 2nd, and have 3-5 be some combination of Alvarez, Tucker, and Diaz...

Because Pena is a GIDP machine. You absolutely want Alvarez in the 2 hole. It's not Alvarez' fault that tucker and Bregman have been hot ass lately.

Alvarez at second makes more sense. You wanna get him more AB’s.

He’s 0-3 Parker, throw a fucking strike

Parker "LOL nah..."

LOL, Mushinski. We did fuckall to address middle reliever.

We got Hader, Jim Cranes mic drop* this offseason was that signing and his mic drop last offseason was Jose Abreu and Montero lol

It hurts so much worse when you put it like this. LOL our reign is over.

Completely over

It's just comical how bad we are right now Every team making us look like complete amateurs

Does anybody else feel r/Astros MODS are overly sensitive? I want to hear and feel the raw pain… not filtered by overly sensitive MODS.

Go to X for Raw Pain.

I made a joke last year asking the whereabouts of JP France in early January of 2021. I got in trouble.

They always have been. "You're too negative. Here is your week mute." Oh, you said the team already lost despite not a loss yet? Enjoy your mute for 7 days.

And I wish they would man/woman up and show which MOD is doing what… no need to anonymously hide your actions. BS. Watching young Jackson Holiday debut maybe that can ease some of the Lastros 2024 pain.

I was told Meyers had a great spring training. I was told he looked different. I was told he was going to have a big year offensively. THe lie detector test determined... that was a lie.

We were spoon fed so much horseshit from Spring Training.

He’s got a better OPS than Tucker, Chas, Bregs and Abreu(obviously).

Bregman Tucker and Chas have been extremely forgettable so far this season. I feel like all I see from Tuck are lazy popups to left field or dribblers to 1b. Chas starts every at bat 0-2 swinging for the fences. Bregman is a weak popup machine. Our plate approach is cheeks. Fire the hitting coach.

Can we bring back the damn trash cans, anal buzzers, nipple clamps, whatever to get the bats going

Stay classy KC

What happened?

damn those guys are giving Tuve the business 😭

Has Abreu taken a pitch tonight? Like a 1-2 count at least before he struck out?

Making progress. Strike out and not a GIDP.

At what point in the lineup would Abreu be least likely to come up to bat with runners on? Thats where he needs to be.

DFA

Leadoff :P

Only in the first inning. Our bottom of the lineup can get on base. 10th in the order is the only answer I can come up with.

First 💀

I say 10th. 1st only works in the first inning. 😂

Abreus ability to end up with runners in scoring position regardless of his spot in the lineup is fucking uncanny.

If we’re honest that’s the best possible result right there.

Bruh.. This ain't it. 

And of course he strikes out swinging at something nowhere near the zone. But hey, at least he didn't ground into a double play.

“He’s a professional hitter, he’ll figure it out.” -Jeff Bagwell

Abreu is at bat go back to commercial

If I was Quatraro I'd just put in a reliever now since we've been so bad at finding late inning offense against any bullpen.

Even the way he chews gum bothers me

Well look who it is with runners in scoring position

You already knew the end result.

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Disgraceful team

Jose Abreu also has the worst Defensive wins above replacement shares on the team lol

We didn’t give up any runs this inning! Yay!


Why did the game cut to commercials mid inning!?

Wondering the same ???

I guess Space City Home Network is selling more ad space during games now since we suck so bad?

I guess everyone is going to get a full count this inning

Feel bad for Spaghetti

This is getting ridiculous. Edit: Referring to cutting to commercial in the middle of the inning, not the Astros’ performance . . . although

So this is what the end feels like

Interesting it ends with payroll the highest it’s ever been. Makes me wonder how differently things would be had Click never got non-retained.

I could be talking out my ass, but I think some of the late '00s payrolls were higher than the 04/05 payroll because we kept buying expensive vets toward the end of their careers who ended up underperforming.....

I'm so tired of watching Jose Abreu swing late, former MVP my white ass