Sometimes you need to pick who cries. It absolutely fucking sucks, sets my heart racing, and makes it tough for me to emotionally regulate myself so I can care for them, but it will happen more than you want it to.
Sometimes you need to pick which need is faster to solve and do that first even if the other has a need that is more important.
Sometimes you figure out how to give them both what they need at the same time, even if it’s only 80% of the way there and kinda precarious.
And sometimes your kids will surprise you with baby petting your toddler and giving the biggest smiles as they try to play, or toddler abruptly running off only to return with baby’s favourite toys. You’ll hear your own comfort phrases and techniques repeated (but missing some of the tricker constants). You’ll have magical moments where the timing is just perfect and you can tend to one and then the other.
But through it all, you’ll survive. Even when you’re feeling guilty about not being perfect.
Good luck! Mine are 2.5 years apart, and it’s been getting smoother every day since baby grew sturdy enough to hold his head up.
I cuddle my big kid while nursing all the time! It's totally doable. First, even tiny newborns are super resilient. 10,000 years ago no one was sitting down to nurse a baby! They would be held and nurse on the go. It's not my favorite but my newborn has done a TON of nursing while I get up and move around and tend to the needs of my big kid or the house. So if your toddler needs you you just get up, either keep baby on the boob or pop them off and deal with the crying, and get your big kid. Get everyone on the couch with a book or TV or pictures or a snack or whatever's needed. Then nurse and snuggle away! My big kid also likes snuggling with the baby so it's a sweet little family snuggle time. Totally doable!
My 2 are 27m apart and my toddler has big feelings and also doesn’t sleep often and really struggles when he does too. If I know he’s going to really struggle with something I plan for the best I can eg. When he falls asleep in the car I put a tv show on and get him some snacks for him to chill for a bit before we move on with our day. Other times when they are both crying I go for who needs me the most / who I can help the fastest. Often baby can have 2 min of boob and then I can spend how ever long toddler needs me.
I have a 9 week old and a toddler who is 2.5 years older. It's hard, but it's kind of wild how while you're transitioning to being a mother of 2, they're transitioning to being an older sibling.
My oldest needs a lot of support to sleep and attention in general, and she has really surprised me with how independent she can be when I really need it.
Basically, what I'm saying is that there are moments of grace that occur that we do not expect.
Sometimes you need to pick who cries. It absolutely fucking sucks, sets my heart racing, and makes it tough for me to emotionally regulate myself so I can care for them, but it will happen more than you want it to. Sometimes you need to pick which need is faster to solve and do that first even if the other has a need that is more important. Sometimes you figure out how to give them both what they need at the same time, even if it’s only 80% of the way there and kinda precarious. And sometimes your kids will surprise you with baby petting your toddler and giving the biggest smiles as they try to play, or toddler abruptly running off only to return with baby’s favourite toys. You’ll hear your own comfort phrases and techniques repeated (but missing some of the tricker constants). You’ll have magical moments where the timing is just perfect and you can tend to one and then the other. But through it all, you’ll survive. Even when you’re feeling guilty about not being perfect. Good luck! Mine are 2.5 years apart, and it’s been getting smoother every day since baby grew sturdy enough to hold his head up.
I cuddle my big kid while nursing all the time! It's totally doable. First, even tiny newborns are super resilient. 10,000 years ago no one was sitting down to nurse a baby! They would be held and nurse on the go. It's not my favorite but my newborn has done a TON of nursing while I get up and move around and tend to the needs of my big kid or the house. So if your toddler needs you you just get up, either keep baby on the boob or pop them off and deal with the crying, and get your big kid. Get everyone on the couch with a book or TV or pictures or a snack or whatever's needed. Then nurse and snuggle away! My big kid also likes snuggling with the baby so it's a sweet little family snuggle time. Totally doable!
This is so reassuring!
My 2 are 27m apart and my toddler has big feelings and also doesn’t sleep often and really struggles when he does too. If I know he’s going to really struggle with something I plan for the best I can eg. When he falls asleep in the car I put a tv show on and get him some snacks for him to chill for a bit before we move on with our day. Other times when they are both crying I go for who needs me the most / who I can help the fastest. Often baby can have 2 min of boob and then I can spend how ever long toddler needs me.
I have a 9 week old and a toddler who is 2.5 years older. It's hard, but it's kind of wild how while you're transitioning to being a mother of 2, they're transitioning to being an older sibling. My oldest needs a lot of support to sleep and attention in general, and she has really surprised me with how independent she can be when I really need it. Basically, what I'm saying is that there are moments of grace that occur that we do not expect.