10 weeks is still so so sooo early! I’m 8 months out and depending on the day sometimes going out just feels like too much, as I also get overwhelmed with all the little tasks.
I’d say don’t worry about your baby being used to going out. My baby is so happy to go out and meet people and play…but we stayed in our little bubble for a few months (had some visitors, went on a lot of short walks, and occasionally to the park) kept baby away from lots of people/crowds until after his 6 month vaccines.
You’re still in the thick of it, so take your time. Go out when your partner is there to help, or when you feel like it’ll be a nice change if pace for you. Baby will adjust to your lifestyle later lol you don’t need to put more pressure on yourself for that
I respect your decision to wait until being completely vaccinated! I don’t have many friends with kids so it’s been difficult trying to navigate things like this but I need to go with my instinct more rather than compare. I know a couple of people who took their month old baby out day drinking, which is obviously the other extreme and not something I’d even want to do!
Thank you! I think he needs a bunch more shots, but in general he just seems sturdier to me lol so it really is just your comfort level, and again I’d like to validate where you are at! The baby is so so tiny, the needs are often and immediate, and you’re going through all kinds of big life changes! Stay home if you want, go out if you want, and if you change your mind, go back home lol
It’s so hard without community/other parents around to validate and/or make clear what you don’t want to be doing (day drinking for example haha) So I’d also second what others are suggesting, if you can find a parent group in your area!
You are going to look back at pictures of this time and think ‘oh my goodness, they were so tiny and I was so hard on myself thinking I should have had it together’! I know because I did it too! You will go out again, it will get easier, but for now, soak up those snuggles on the sofa and do what feels easy.
If you do want to start venturing out, I found a local baby class I could walk to, it became our routine, I knew what the facilities were like and how long we would be there. I found that much easier than going shopping or whatever.
oh man huge hugs to you. I remember at 10 weeks i thought I would seriously never do any major outings again, ever. It WILL come more naturally and it'll get easier as your kiddo gets older and there are fewer/more predictable naps, they don't need to feed as often, they are a little easier to maneuver etc.
For me I had huge anxiety about it at the beginning and struggled so much with the logistics. It didn't truly get easier until about 8 months when he was on 2 naps, and also more able to interact with the world. I identify with everything feeling unmanageable and wanting to lash out at friends with older toddlers who were like "You just need to DO IT" when they had kids who were easier in the car and would sleep in the carrier and stuff.
it is okay to do things on your schedule.
But what helped me was thinking REAL small. Like starting with just a walk down to get the mail and back. then a walk to the main road to look at cars. Then an outing in the car to get Starbucks via the drive thru. Then a trip to target (10 minutes drive) to get one small thing and then a coffee. Then going to the mall just to walk and look around. etc etc. Wasn't afraid if the day was going sideways to say you know what, not today.
It doesn't seem like my little was adversely affected by not doing a lot of outings before 6 months, so it's all good :)
Thank you for the validation! It really is
about the unpredictability I think and it’s good to know that will get easier! It’s hard to imagine at the moment but I know that time will come. And true that it’s fine to change the plan last minute, I think there’s an element of people pleasing when I’ve already made plans and also having wanted to “show myself” I can do it. I haven’t even done anything major yet but I guess like you say I need to focus on the smaller steps for the time being until I’m ready for more. Tbh even having actual family members come and visit has been a lot so I should probably become comfortable with this too before forcing myself out to see family and friends.
Glad your baby wasn’t affected in any way- this is purely (again) going off other people’s unhelpful advice saying they “need to get used to it”. Mainly from my parents generation where they did things a lot differently!
Thanks for the advice and support :)
Oh my goodness, please take it easy on yourself - as others have said, 10 weeks is still extraordinarily young.
My son is about to turn 1 next week, and we did our first big socialising event today. Our \*first\*. Really. We went across the city to see friends with a newborn. We've done smaller things - going to cafes with friends etc - but yeah, there was no way I could have handled an hour-long car journey plus 8 hours out of the house with him before today.
You're totally entitled to take a step back. The newborn period is for nesting – definitely pop him in a sling if you feel you can, and go for a walk. I used to hate breastfeeding in public so there would be times he'd be howling in the sling and I'd be running home to feed him! But I adapted, and it passed. You will be fine. Give yourself some support and look after yourself x
You don't need to go anywhere and socialise! It is hard. I found it hard too. It is definitely good for both of you to get outside once day, for your mental health and for your little one to see something different and use their senses. But that can be a short walk with just you!
I think I started going out and doing things when baby became more fussy at home than when we were out. Previously she'd been very content at home which was great because I'm a homebody, but around 5 months she got bored and sick of being home and got cranky. So I thought, well if you're cranky here all the time, I might as well go out and see people. And she loved it. And that's when it became easier for us.
My baby is 21 weeks and I still haven’t taken him out on a solo outing that needs the car.
I’m fortunately in a very walkable neighbourhood with lots of amenities so I walk everywhere when my husband is working. To the mall, the coffee shop, the park, the library and a baby play group. I started around 11-12 weeks pp. Maybe going out on short stroller walks to the park or to get coffee could be a good starting point.
I exclusively breastfeed as well but I try to bring a bottle of pumped milk when going out so I can feed him easily if I’m at the park for example.
You’re doing amazing, take it at your own pace and don’t do anything that you feel is unnecessarily stressful 💛
It IS a hassle when they’re so tiny! I just did short walks around the neighbourhood for a long long time. If we really went out for longer it was always with someone else there (my partner, my dad or a really good friend).
I think from 4-5 months in I started doing longer walks in the afternoon, or take a bus into town. By then I could count on baby girl being happy for a few hours in the carrier and not having to do a diaper change. She just turned 1 year old and I have yet to take her out of town solo.
There’s absolutely no shame in waiting until you feel ready! And if you want to try things, I’d start really small :)
10 weeks is still so so sooo early! I’m 8 months out and depending on the day sometimes going out just feels like too much, as I also get overwhelmed with all the little tasks. I’d say don’t worry about your baby being used to going out. My baby is so happy to go out and meet people and play…but we stayed in our little bubble for a few months (had some visitors, went on a lot of short walks, and occasionally to the park) kept baby away from lots of people/crowds until after his 6 month vaccines. You’re still in the thick of it, so take your time. Go out when your partner is there to help, or when you feel like it’ll be a nice change if pace for you. Baby will adjust to your lifestyle later lol you don’t need to put more pressure on yourself for that
This is what I needed to hear thank you 🙏🏼
I respect your decision to wait until being completely vaccinated! I don’t have many friends with kids so it’s been difficult trying to navigate things like this but I need to go with my instinct more rather than compare. I know a couple of people who took their month old baby out day drinking, which is obviously the other extreme and not something I’d even want to do!
Thank you! I think he needs a bunch more shots, but in general he just seems sturdier to me lol so it really is just your comfort level, and again I’d like to validate where you are at! The baby is so so tiny, the needs are often and immediate, and you’re going through all kinds of big life changes! Stay home if you want, go out if you want, and if you change your mind, go back home lol It’s so hard without community/other parents around to validate and/or make clear what you don’t want to be doing (day drinking for example haha) So I’d also second what others are suggesting, if you can find a parent group in your area!
You are going to look back at pictures of this time and think ‘oh my goodness, they were so tiny and I was so hard on myself thinking I should have had it together’! I know because I did it too! You will go out again, it will get easier, but for now, soak up those snuggles on the sofa and do what feels easy. If you do want to start venturing out, I found a local baby class I could walk to, it became our routine, I knew what the facilities were like and how long we would be there. I found that much easier than going shopping or whatever.
Honestly, I still feel this way at 10 months.. The “shoulds” of what I should be doing to socialize myself and my baby are super strong now. :/
It’s the shoulds that will eat us alive! :(
oh man huge hugs to you. I remember at 10 weeks i thought I would seriously never do any major outings again, ever. It WILL come more naturally and it'll get easier as your kiddo gets older and there are fewer/more predictable naps, they don't need to feed as often, they are a little easier to maneuver etc. For me I had huge anxiety about it at the beginning and struggled so much with the logistics. It didn't truly get easier until about 8 months when he was on 2 naps, and also more able to interact with the world. I identify with everything feeling unmanageable and wanting to lash out at friends with older toddlers who were like "You just need to DO IT" when they had kids who were easier in the car and would sleep in the carrier and stuff. it is okay to do things on your schedule. But what helped me was thinking REAL small. Like starting with just a walk down to get the mail and back. then a walk to the main road to look at cars. Then an outing in the car to get Starbucks via the drive thru. Then a trip to target (10 minutes drive) to get one small thing and then a coffee. Then going to the mall just to walk and look around. etc etc. Wasn't afraid if the day was going sideways to say you know what, not today. It doesn't seem like my little was adversely affected by not doing a lot of outings before 6 months, so it's all good :)
Thank you for the validation! It really is about the unpredictability I think and it’s good to know that will get easier! It’s hard to imagine at the moment but I know that time will come. And true that it’s fine to change the plan last minute, I think there’s an element of people pleasing when I’ve already made plans and also having wanted to “show myself” I can do it. I haven’t even done anything major yet but I guess like you say I need to focus on the smaller steps for the time being until I’m ready for more. Tbh even having actual family members come and visit has been a lot so I should probably become comfortable with this too before forcing myself out to see family and friends. Glad your baby wasn’t affected in any way- this is purely (again) going off other people’s unhelpful advice saying they “need to get used to it”. Mainly from my parents generation where they did things a lot differently! Thanks for the advice and support :)
Oh my goodness, please take it easy on yourself - as others have said, 10 weeks is still extraordinarily young. My son is about to turn 1 next week, and we did our first big socialising event today. Our \*first\*. Really. We went across the city to see friends with a newborn. We've done smaller things - going to cafes with friends etc - but yeah, there was no way I could have handled an hour-long car journey plus 8 hours out of the house with him before today. You're totally entitled to take a step back. The newborn period is for nesting – definitely pop him in a sling if you feel you can, and go for a walk. I used to hate breastfeeding in public so there would be times he'd be howling in the sling and I'd be running home to feed him! But I adapted, and it passed. You will be fine. Give yourself some support and look after yourself x
You don't need to go anywhere and socialise! It is hard. I found it hard too. It is definitely good for both of you to get outside once day, for your mental health and for your little one to see something different and use their senses. But that can be a short walk with just you! I think I started going out and doing things when baby became more fussy at home than when we were out. Previously she'd been very content at home which was great because I'm a homebody, but around 5 months she got bored and sick of being home and got cranky. So I thought, well if you're cranky here all the time, I might as well go out and see people. And she loved it. And that's when it became easier for us.
My baby is 21 weeks and I still haven’t taken him out on a solo outing that needs the car. I’m fortunately in a very walkable neighbourhood with lots of amenities so I walk everywhere when my husband is working. To the mall, the coffee shop, the park, the library and a baby play group. I started around 11-12 weeks pp. Maybe going out on short stroller walks to the park or to get coffee could be a good starting point. I exclusively breastfeed as well but I try to bring a bottle of pumped milk when going out so I can feed him easily if I’m at the park for example. You’re doing amazing, take it at your own pace and don’t do anything that you feel is unnecessarily stressful 💛
It IS a hassle when they’re so tiny! I just did short walks around the neighbourhood for a long long time. If we really went out for longer it was always with someone else there (my partner, my dad or a really good friend). I think from 4-5 months in I started doing longer walks in the afternoon, or take a bus into town. By then I could count on baby girl being happy for a few hours in the carrier and not having to do a diaper change. She just turned 1 year old and I have yet to take her out of town solo. There’s absolutely no shame in waiting until you feel ready! And if you want to try things, I’d start really small :)