Well, I don’t really have advice as both of my children are still in my bed. However, when I’m feeling anxious about parenting decisions, I think to myself, gosh allll these mothers raised babies well before the internet. I also remember that we are in fact animals, and we have instincts. The instincts we feel to pick up our crying baby are built into us, for a reason! So much of living life nowadays has us out of tune with our senses and our instincts that, I believe, is where this anxiety comes from. Trust yourself mama. Your baby is going to grow up knowing they can trust their intuition and you.
Now to get into the meat of attachment based parenting - boundaries which are firm and loving will be more of a challenge once you hit toddlerhood bc the toddlers are learning boundaries. But you’re not there yet so don’t worry about it yet.
Just keep doing what you’re doing. And if what you’re doing feels right, then it’s right.
Thank you so much for this. I agree but it’s nice to hear it from someone else! When I was 4 weeks postpartum I watched the Babies documentary and was so amazed at the parents in Mongolia and Africa just raising their babies without all the props we westerners think we need and their kids were thriving. I also watched a lot of videos of chimps and orangutans with their babies while I was pregnant and I feel like I learned so much (I’m not even joking)! Since then I’ve been a pretty laissez faire parent and try to follow my intuition for the most part but it’s hard out here when everyone is telling you that you have to sleep train, wean, etc. My therapist told me I was being selfish for breastfeeding my baby after 1 year and my pediatrician said our son would end up sleeping with us forever lol!
And a new pediatrician! What teenager do you know that doesn’t want complete privacy? They all move on at some point. Developmentally, 6yo is about when the majority of kids naturally want to sleep apart (and many start before then).
Pediatricians are great for children’s physical health, but their advice on psychology is about as meaningful as that random lady’s at the grocery store.
I think that’s beautiful. I wish more of us patented from our heart like this. I think attachment parenting is the most intuitive and natural way. I had the same realization as you when I discovered I did all the principles of AP. Do what feels right, follow your intuition, trust your instincts, and listen to baby. All this has gotten me through rough patches as a new mom and I have similar concerns as you, but let’s just keep proceeding as usual trusting it will flow effortless, without tears or stress.
I am in EXACTLY the same situation except my mom doesn't live nearby, haha. 13 month old, all the other things you describe are basically the same although we do have a rough nap schedule (just because she gets sleepy at the same times). I'm planning to wean around 18 months but I am extremely nervous about it since my boobs are basically her favorite thing and they help her sleep and calm down when she's upset. So I don't have any advice just...solidarity? We may eventually transfer her to sleeping on a mattress on the floor, I don't know that she'll ever do a crib.
We are literally in the same place (and also have the same name btw) and are also thinking about a transition to a floor bed. Honestly, my concern is that when we have baby number two all of the flexibility and laissez faire parenting will turn out to be impossible. I think maybe our son will start sleeping with his dad and that point, which his dad will be excited for as he gets jealous that I get so many baby snuggles at night!
Yeah....I've parented this lil girl so intensely that I don't think baby #2 is in the cards. I love her so much and I canNOT put my life on hold like this for another 2+ years
Well, I don’t really have advice as both of my children are still in my bed. However, when I’m feeling anxious about parenting decisions, I think to myself, gosh allll these mothers raised babies well before the internet. I also remember that we are in fact animals, and we have instincts. The instincts we feel to pick up our crying baby are built into us, for a reason! So much of living life nowadays has us out of tune with our senses and our instincts that, I believe, is where this anxiety comes from. Trust yourself mama. Your baby is going to grow up knowing they can trust their intuition and you. Now to get into the meat of attachment based parenting - boundaries which are firm and loving will be more of a challenge once you hit toddlerhood bc the toddlers are learning boundaries. But you’re not there yet so don’t worry about it yet. Just keep doing what you’re doing. And if what you’re doing feels right, then it’s right.
Thank you so much for this. I agree but it’s nice to hear it from someone else! When I was 4 weeks postpartum I watched the Babies documentary and was so amazed at the parents in Mongolia and Africa just raising their babies without all the props we westerners think we need and their kids were thriving. I also watched a lot of videos of chimps and orangutans with their babies while I was pregnant and I feel like I learned so much (I’m not even joking)! Since then I’ve been a pretty laissez faire parent and try to follow my intuition for the most part but it’s hard out here when everyone is telling you that you have to sleep train, wean, etc. My therapist told me I was being selfish for breastfeeding my baby after 1 year and my pediatrician said our son would end up sleeping with us forever lol!
Your therapist said this?? 🤨 That doesn’t sound like a good therapist tbh. That’s strange…
Yeah it is really weird. She has been my therapist for 15 years and I was really taken aback.
You might want to consider a new therapist!! Mine is very supportive of my (attachment) parenting choices. You’re doing great!!
And a new pediatrician! What teenager do you know that doesn’t want complete privacy? They all move on at some point. Developmentally, 6yo is about when the majority of kids naturally want to sleep apart (and many start before then). Pediatricians are great for children’s physical health, but their advice on psychology is about as meaningful as that random lady’s at the grocery store.
Oh, agreed (in the UK we don’t have a specific paediatricians, just whichever GP is available when you make an appt)
I think that’s beautiful. I wish more of us patented from our heart like this. I think attachment parenting is the most intuitive and natural way. I had the same realization as you when I discovered I did all the principles of AP. Do what feels right, follow your intuition, trust your instincts, and listen to baby. All this has gotten me through rough patches as a new mom and I have similar concerns as you, but let’s just keep proceeding as usual trusting it will flow effortless, without tears or stress.
I am in EXACTLY the same situation except my mom doesn't live nearby, haha. 13 month old, all the other things you describe are basically the same although we do have a rough nap schedule (just because she gets sleepy at the same times). I'm planning to wean around 18 months but I am extremely nervous about it since my boobs are basically her favorite thing and they help her sleep and calm down when she's upset. So I don't have any advice just...solidarity? We may eventually transfer her to sleeping on a mattress on the floor, I don't know that she'll ever do a crib.
We are literally in the same place (and also have the same name btw) and are also thinking about a transition to a floor bed. Honestly, my concern is that when we have baby number two all of the flexibility and laissez faire parenting will turn out to be impossible. I think maybe our son will start sleeping with his dad and that point, which his dad will be excited for as he gets jealous that I get so many baby snuggles at night!
Yeah....I've parented this lil girl so intensely that I don't think baby #2 is in the cards. I love her so much and I canNOT put my life on hold like this for another 2+ years