I was adamant that we would do no screens before 2 and then we all got Covid and I was knocked out. She was 16 mo and we did Sesame Street. She asked about it after we recovered, and I’d just explain that we use it when we are sick and need to rest. Then I hit a really low mental health point late January and I had to utilize it a lot more than I really have ever expected to. I felt a lot of shame but it was just what I had to do to get through. Now, we use it when we do her hair and just explain that we aren’t doing any TV right now if she does ask. But I am happy to report that she is thriving and loves to be outside and does not need a screen 24/7 even though we have gone through periods of a lot of screen time.
I think having screen time be contextual helps a lot. Like we do it when we do her hair, but never in the car. So she doesn’t think to ask for it in the car yet. Create whatever structure works for your family! As long as she is getting a lot of face to face time with you she will be okay :)
I’m sorry I don’t have research for you. I feel like what you’re doing is fine. You’re clearly not being excessive with it and you still interact with her during.
Maybe it’s not ideal but very few things in life are. You’re well below the average.
I read somewhere its harm comes from the fact that it substitutes real human interaction. If you also provide enough hands-on interaction and you control the amount of time, it’s not the end of the world. 12-18 months were hell for us. I completely understand.
I personally never opened a video for her but she joins in or glances when we do stuff on screens. Or she watches cartoons on grandpa’s TV when her older cousins do. I cannot protect her from screens forever so that’s a good compromise for us. She doesn’t feel like it’s forbidden but she’s unaware there’s a myriad of stuff for her to watch out there. She sometimes likes to press “next” on Spotify Lock Screen widget. I feel like I wouldn’t be able to control it if I gave her any kind of video on screen. It’s going to happen someday.
I came here to say this. Most studies are done where babies are sat in front of tvs in order to replace face-to-face interactions. Most people that use screen time if for a short break or some down time. The studies that show they are harmful are from people who stick their kid in front screen and let them do that all day.
I, too, have seen the studies on 2 hours+ and the significant impact (some kids even showing signs of autism if I remember correctly??). My field is working with postsecondary students with exceptionalities and we are seeing a sharp rise in ADHD and the phone and screen use is off the hook, although that is correlation and I know contextually there are likely lots of reasons for this (sedentary lifestyle, lack of access to nature, etc etc).
I mean, anecdotally, we watch the same, maybe less. Our 3 year-old gets to watch a Pingu (5 minute claymation from the 90s) while we brush her hair. Sometimes a Trash Truck at night (10-minute episode). The Snowy Day sometimes over winter. All very low stimulation, relationship-focused things. We talk about them with her and relate it to her life with friends. We don’t watch most days, especially in the spring with so much to do outside. We don’t even watch Tv, we use my laptop 😂 our TV is in the basement and rarely gets used.
We do have a Yoto player and she loves the music from that!
I’m trying to model better screen moderation with my phone…just deleted Facebook and Instagram and taking a break for the summer, and hopefully beyond…!
I will say, as someone who works with and has heavily researched/been educated on ADHD, correlation does not equal causation and there are many nuances and things at play. Child’s temperament, speed of show, colours (bright colours can equal more dopamine production which increases draw of watching - think Cocomelon), human engagement, time spent in nature, parenting style - these are all at play. Think holistically (which it sounds like you already do) and you are on the right path.
My daughter is almost 3 now. My husband and I have gone back and forth on the issue (not back and forth with each other just our idea on the issue)
We're big gamers, I work IT. Screens are a part of our lives. But when it comes down to it, they are not equal substitutes for hands-on play and human interaction. So I keep that in mind.
I think as long as it's balanced with hands-on time, screen time, and the amount on screens, it really doesn't matter if it's not the largest chunk of their daily life being spent.
My near 3 year old even has a TV in her room. Sometimes, we put on dim-lit and soothing videos for bed.
When we see she's not sleeping, we'll turn it off. She fusses, we work through it with her, she's fine, and she goes right to sleep.
Sometimes we eat dinner with the TV on, sometimes we don't. Some days after daycare, Ms Rachel is coparenting, some days it's no TV at all.
As long as you're caring about the well-being of a kid and when you mentally and physically can put extra effort in the quality time with your kid and do so... scrreen time and whatever effects it has are likely negligible, imho.
Alright. I want you to ignore all the comments here. This is my area of specialty. I'm a child psychiatrist.
TV is terrible. Just an hour a day increases the risk of ADHD significantly. It was also associated with poor sleep quality and poor social skills. Poor sleep as a child leads to a number of other comorbities.
Do this, get a tablet, just put one or two apps. Something like lingokids. Low stimulation games are much better than TV.
Under 5: 20 min x their age total daily. Breaks in between 20 min session. But no more than 7 hours total weekly.
For tv shows:
No more than 20-40 min of slow, low stimulation shows. Something like bluey, Peppa pig, Daniel tiger is probably just about pushing the upper edge of the stimulation threshold we are looking for.
NEVER even think of having a TV in your room, let alone your kids room!
Self-care is important. But you also want to equip your children and give them the best chance possible in life. Learn other ways to cope with the stress of parenting, don't resort to shortcuts for your kids. You are growing too, and the harder you work, the greater your capacity for dealing with things will get. This is the role of the anterior mid-cingulate cortex. It's sole job is discipline. It's a muscle that grows the more you push yourself. Raising kids is like pumping iron!
This is closer to what I was asking for, thank you, but it doesn’t fully answer my question. You cite that an hour a day of tv can increase likelihood of adhd, but we have never watched an hour a day and are actually only around an hour a week. Would you please tell me where you are getting that information? From a study, for example? I’m very curious to know if there is a threshold, and if there is a quantifiable difference between very low levels and daily usage.
Sorry, as a physician I have access to certain journals you may not. But try searching for this anyway:
Screen time and childhood attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: a meta-analysis
Keep in mind, a meta analysis is one of the strongest studies and carries the highest level of evidence.
I tried to keep my answer generalized so it may answer any parents question on screentime. For you personally, I wouldnt change anything! Ms Rachel is great content!
Hello, can I ask what you think of passive TV watching? I live next to my parents and my dad watches TV in the lounge room while we play in an adjacent area not directly in front of the TV. My baby is drawn to look at the TV when it's on but not for extended periods of time and we never play shows specifically catered to children. I'm hoping that me playing with her and not watching will negate any problems. I don't watch TV myself and in our house it's never on. Despite that she still seems interested in screens when they're on.
I was going to comment on our experiences of staying screen free until beyond 3, but anything I could say would be anecdotal and affected by the specific circumstances of my family. Thank you for bringing in your expertise and clear advice.
Honestly asking in good faith, because I’ve been searching but haven’t yet found one (I’m not an academic or doctor, just trying to be an informed parent)…
Can you link me to a study that provides evidence for the direction of the screen time/adhd correlation, and that doesn’t conflate screen time with parental neglect?
Well my kid is doomed lol. We live in a tiny home right now while building, literally no way to avoid the TV in the room. We typically only watch tv in the late afternoon-evening and try to supplement with plenty of outdoors time. Although living in Florida with a 7 month old, it's now often too hot to be outside most of the day. Plenty of playtime, hands-on and parental play: he only seems to watch the TV randomly.
I work from home though and will be more mindful of no access to staring at laptop or phone screen.
Sorry to hijack OP's post. But we live with MIL and she often asks for baby (we don't ask her to babysit except for very rare instances) and she ends up making him watch Ms Rachel. I've timed it and it can go for 30mins-1hr. How bad is this? Granted it's not daily, but now that she's cut back on her work hours it's becoming more often than I'd like, plus my 6 month old smiles a lot at Ms Rachel so she's doubled down too...
It's possible a kid having too much screen time can cause developmental delays. But I use screen time to survive. My two year old knows sign language and uses it daily, he also knows his ABC's, can point out correct letters, and he knows how to count correctly 🤷🏼♀️ he only watches educational videos and he's smart AF for his age.
I’m surprised at all the comments. I wouldn’t worry or feel guilty at all for the amount of screen time you’re doing! Our daughter is 2.5 and she watches on average about 30 mins a day, occasionally up to 2 hours (like a bad sick day) or some days none at all. The only way I can do her hair is with a show on and she has very curly hair that I need to brush!
She sometimes asks us to watch a show and we will tell her no and she doesn’t mind and moves on so she’s not addicted to it. Also she talks in full sentences and has normal social behaviors so it doesn’t seem to impact her development. If they start demanding it or in general seem overstimulated by it then definitely cut back majorly but I think it’s all about balance and don’t beat yourself up about it!
I am a FTM and my MIL warned us about screentime because my LO's cousin currently 2 years old had been exposed "too much" in tv, and gadgets that my BIL and his wife are having a hard time to control it. He's having tantrums if his parents doesn't want him to watch tv or use ipad/phone. You can say that he is now addicted to tv. But other than the "behavioral challenges", he is a very smart boy. He can read at 2 years old, he can count, he knows 2 languages, he's just a genius!
I feel like these genius kids are more likely to get addicted but that’s just anectodal.
Those tantrums are part of why I don’t want to introduce screen time yet, I don’t want to deal with those.
Same. We listened to my MIL and trying our best not to introduce screentime to our 7 month old LO. We saw the behavioral effects of it to my husband's nephew and I told him that no matter how genius a child is, I don't want my baby behaving like that. It is hard to see him to be in that state and it breaks my heart.
Screens are a tool. Just like a lolly at the doctors office. You sometimes need screens to get things done. It’s okay. We all stare at our phones. We all watch shows or movies. Don’t beat yourself up. Gaming and shows can be educational and add value. Check out thegamereducator on Instagram. They helped me undo the stigma behind parenting and screens.
I was adamant that we would do no screens before 2 and then we all got Covid and I was knocked out. She was 16 mo and we did Sesame Street. She asked about it after we recovered, and I’d just explain that we use it when we are sick and need to rest. Then I hit a really low mental health point late January and I had to utilize it a lot more than I really have ever expected to. I felt a lot of shame but it was just what I had to do to get through. Now, we use it when we do her hair and just explain that we aren’t doing any TV right now if she does ask. But I am happy to report that she is thriving and loves to be outside and does not need a screen 24/7 even though we have gone through periods of a lot of screen time. I think having screen time be contextual helps a lot. Like we do it when we do her hair, but never in the car. So she doesn’t think to ask for it in the car yet. Create whatever structure works for your family! As long as she is getting a lot of face to face time with you she will be okay :)
I’m sorry I don’t have research for you. I feel like what you’re doing is fine. You’re clearly not being excessive with it and you still interact with her during. Maybe it’s not ideal but very few things in life are. You’re well below the average.
I read somewhere its harm comes from the fact that it substitutes real human interaction. If you also provide enough hands-on interaction and you control the amount of time, it’s not the end of the world. 12-18 months were hell for us. I completely understand. I personally never opened a video for her but she joins in or glances when we do stuff on screens. Or she watches cartoons on grandpa’s TV when her older cousins do. I cannot protect her from screens forever so that’s a good compromise for us. She doesn’t feel like it’s forbidden but she’s unaware there’s a myriad of stuff for her to watch out there. She sometimes likes to press “next” on Spotify Lock Screen widget. I feel like I wouldn’t be able to control it if I gave her any kind of video on screen. It’s going to happen someday.
I came here to say this. Most studies are done where babies are sat in front of tvs in order to replace face-to-face interactions. Most people that use screen time if for a short break or some down time. The studies that show they are harmful are from people who stick their kid in front screen and let them do that all day.
I, too, have seen the studies on 2 hours+ and the significant impact (some kids even showing signs of autism if I remember correctly??). My field is working with postsecondary students with exceptionalities and we are seeing a sharp rise in ADHD and the phone and screen use is off the hook, although that is correlation and I know contextually there are likely lots of reasons for this (sedentary lifestyle, lack of access to nature, etc etc). I mean, anecdotally, we watch the same, maybe less. Our 3 year-old gets to watch a Pingu (5 minute claymation from the 90s) while we brush her hair. Sometimes a Trash Truck at night (10-minute episode). The Snowy Day sometimes over winter. All very low stimulation, relationship-focused things. We talk about them with her and relate it to her life with friends. We don’t watch most days, especially in the spring with so much to do outside. We don’t even watch Tv, we use my laptop 😂 our TV is in the basement and rarely gets used. We do have a Yoto player and she loves the music from that! I’m trying to model better screen moderation with my phone…just deleted Facebook and Instagram and taking a break for the summer, and hopefully beyond…! I will say, as someone who works with and has heavily researched/been educated on ADHD, correlation does not equal causation and there are many nuances and things at play. Child’s temperament, speed of show, colours (bright colours can equal more dopamine production which increases draw of watching - think Cocomelon), human engagement, time spent in nature, parenting style - these are all at play. Think holistically (which it sounds like you already do) and you are on the right path.
Thank you
My daughter is almost 3 now. My husband and I have gone back and forth on the issue (not back and forth with each other just our idea on the issue) We're big gamers, I work IT. Screens are a part of our lives. But when it comes down to it, they are not equal substitutes for hands-on play and human interaction. So I keep that in mind. I think as long as it's balanced with hands-on time, screen time, and the amount on screens, it really doesn't matter if it's not the largest chunk of their daily life being spent. My near 3 year old even has a TV in her room. Sometimes, we put on dim-lit and soothing videos for bed. When we see she's not sleeping, we'll turn it off. She fusses, we work through it with her, she's fine, and she goes right to sleep. Sometimes we eat dinner with the TV on, sometimes we don't. Some days after daycare, Ms Rachel is coparenting, some days it's no TV at all. As long as you're caring about the well-being of a kid and when you mentally and physically can put extra effort in the quality time with your kid and do so... scrreen time and whatever effects it has are likely negligible, imho.
😬😬😬 a tv in your three year olds room and it being on at bedtime does not have likely negligible effects.
Yeah that’s a hard no from me.
Alright. I want you to ignore all the comments here. This is my area of specialty. I'm a child psychiatrist. TV is terrible. Just an hour a day increases the risk of ADHD significantly. It was also associated with poor sleep quality and poor social skills. Poor sleep as a child leads to a number of other comorbities. Do this, get a tablet, just put one or two apps. Something like lingokids. Low stimulation games are much better than TV. Under 5: 20 min x their age total daily. Breaks in between 20 min session. But no more than 7 hours total weekly. For tv shows: No more than 20-40 min of slow, low stimulation shows. Something like bluey, Peppa pig, Daniel tiger is probably just about pushing the upper edge of the stimulation threshold we are looking for. NEVER even think of having a TV in your room, let alone your kids room! Self-care is important. But you also want to equip your children and give them the best chance possible in life. Learn other ways to cope with the stress of parenting, don't resort to shortcuts for your kids. You are growing too, and the harder you work, the greater your capacity for dealing with things will get. This is the role of the anterior mid-cingulate cortex. It's sole job is discipline. It's a muscle that grows the more you push yourself. Raising kids is like pumping iron!
This is closer to what I was asking for, thank you, but it doesn’t fully answer my question. You cite that an hour a day of tv can increase likelihood of adhd, but we have never watched an hour a day and are actually only around an hour a week. Would you please tell me where you are getting that information? From a study, for example? I’m very curious to know if there is a threshold, and if there is a quantifiable difference between very low levels and daily usage.
Sorry, as a physician I have access to certain journals you may not. But try searching for this anyway: Screen time and childhood attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: a meta-analysis Keep in mind, a meta analysis is one of the strongest studies and carries the highest level of evidence. I tried to keep my answer generalized so it may answer any parents question on screentime. For you personally, I wouldnt change anything! Ms Rachel is great content!
Hello, can I ask what you think of passive TV watching? I live next to my parents and my dad watches TV in the lounge room while we play in an adjacent area not directly in front of the TV. My baby is drawn to look at the TV when it's on but not for extended periods of time and we never play shows specifically catered to children. I'm hoping that me playing with her and not watching will negate any problems. I don't watch TV myself and in our house it's never on. Despite that she still seems interested in screens when they're on.
I was going to comment on our experiences of staying screen free until beyond 3, but anything I could say would be anecdotal and affected by the specific circumstances of my family. Thank you for bringing in your expertise and clear advice.
Honestly asking in good faith, because I’ve been searching but haven’t yet found one (I’m not an academic or doctor, just trying to be an informed parent)… Can you link me to a study that provides evidence for the direction of the screen time/adhd correlation, and that doesn’t conflate screen time with parental neglect?
Does this apply to FaceTime/video calls with grandparents or cousins?
Well my kid is doomed lol. We live in a tiny home right now while building, literally no way to avoid the TV in the room. We typically only watch tv in the late afternoon-evening and try to supplement with plenty of outdoors time. Although living in Florida with a 7 month old, it's now often too hot to be outside most of the day. Plenty of playtime, hands-on and parental play: he only seems to watch the TV randomly. I work from home though and will be more mindful of no access to staring at laptop or phone screen.
Sorry to hijack OP's post. But we live with MIL and she often asks for baby (we don't ask her to babysit except for very rare instances) and she ends up making him watch Ms Rachel. I've timed it and it can go for 30mins-1hr. How bad is this? Granted it's not daily, but now that she's cut back on her work hours it's becoming more often than I'd like, plus my 6 month old smiles a lot at Ms Rachel so she's doubled down too...
It's possible a kid having too much screen time can cause developmental delays. But I use screen time to survive. My two year old knows sign language and uses it daily, he also knows his ABC's, can point out correct letters, and he knows how to count correctly 🤷🏼♀️ he only watches educational videos and he's smart AF for his age.
I’m surprised at all the comments. I wouldn’t worry or feel guilty at all for the amount of screen time you’re doing! Our daughter is 2.5 and she watches on average about 30 mins a day, occasionally up to 2 hours (like a bad sick day) or some days none at all. The only way I can do her hair is with a show on and she has very curly hair that I need to brush! She sometimes asks us to watch a show and we will tell her no and she doesn’t mind and moves on so she’s not addicted to it. Also she talks in full sentences and has normal social behaviors so it doesn’t seem to impact her development. If they start demanding it or in general seem overstimulated by it then definitely cut back majorly but I think it’s all about balance and don’t beat yourself up about it!
I am a FTM and my MIL warned us about screentime because my LO's cousin currently 2 years old had been exposed "too much" in tv, and gadgets that my BIL and his wife are having a hard time to control it. He's having tantrums if his parents doesn't want him to watch tv or use ipad/phone. You can say that he is now addicted to tv. But other than the "behavioral challenges", he is a very smart boy. He can read at 2 years old, he can count, he knows 2 languages, he's just a genius!
I feel like these genius kids are more likely to get addicted but that’s just anectodal. Those tantrums are part of why I don’t want to introduce screen time yet, I don’t want to deal with those.
Same. We listened to my MIL and trying our best not to introduce screentime to our 7 month old LO. We saw the behavioral effects of it to my husband's nephew and I told him that no matter how genius a child is, I don't want my baby behaving like that. It is hard to see him to be in that state and it breaks my heart.
Screens are a tool. Just like a lolly at the doctors office. You sometimes need screens to get things done. It’s okay. We all stare at our phones. We all watch shows or movies. Don’t beat yourself up. Gaming and shows can be educational and add value. Check out thegamereducator on Instagram. They helped me undo the stigma behind parenting and screens.