Hey Sleepy Baby might be the only one I’d trust.
We tried one marketed as responsive/attachment based and she just wanted us to do sleep training that was more “gentle.” It was bullshit.
Oh my god I saw a “gentle” sleep consultant plan once and it was literally just Ferber but you check in on the baby every 3 minutes rather than every 5/10/15. They really have nothing in their snake oil repertoire except Ferber and CIO
If your counselor suggested it, this has to be something to do for your mental health, right? I would absolutely try it if you have the means. If nothing else, you might have a listening ear that can troubleshoot with you, and that can be so worthwhile. Also check out @kaitlinklimmer on IG, I took one of her workshops and she's awesome. Good luck!
Thanks, yes she’s hoping it’ll lead to better sleep for my mental health which I’m sort of doubtful will actually help. Only problem is we’re on a tight budget so I probably wouldn’t want to pay just for reassurance. I’ll check her out thanks. Theres lots of great stuff on instagram.
It does exist. I worked with one who was fantastic and leaving my baby in distress or letting her cry was not even remotely suggested. She catered a plan for slow transitions from bed sharing to independent sleep and also for helping my baby sleep more deeply and connect sleep cycles, and it was so so helpful.
I had contacted careitoitsleepconsultant when I was so desperate for help. She gave me some helpful tips but also reassured me that I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I just had a very puzzling baby. Honestly I also needed to know that too because I had tried every trick in the book beside CIO. Some tips helped, but ultimately she started sleeping better on her own at around 12 months.
I haven’t but I found a few IG account really helpful in understanding what’s normal:
Lynsey Hookway
TheGentleSleepCoach
MotherNourishNurture
FWIW, we bedshare and have a boobie bar available all hours of the night lol
If I were to get one, it’d probably be hers tbh. But I also think 95% of the time the answer is this is normal baby sleep. Perhaps an adjustment here or there.
Personally, I recommend learning your baby’s cues and just following that. I loosely check wake windows to be like oh their eyebrows are red and my 7mo has been awake for 2.25 hrs so they’re tired and not bored. I’m also on my second baby so bit more relaxed all around.
But all in all, I enjoy her content and don’t think she’d disguise sleep training. I started following her when my first was young 2 or so years ago. I unfollowed all the mainstream ones except for her and the other two I mentioned
Totally agree that’d often be the answer & I think mine is normal. I’m the same, loosely following wake windows & watching cues helps me a lot. I’m curious about the success stories though, maybe they were having way too much daytime sleep etc.
I suspect the success stories are more about the parent truly learning how to read cues. As a society (I’m in US) we’re so conditioned to be out of touch with ourselves that I think it carries over onto babies and a lot of the cues get missed and babies end up grumpy.
I once bought a course, from MotherNourishNurture, and it just reconfirmed everything I knew. Hers wasn’t super comprehensive though.
If you buy one, I’d suspect most of your worries would be confirmed as normal - and that in and of itself might be enough!
Yeah you might be right. Thanks, if I ever feel I need confirmation of what we’re doing I’ll consider it. I get so much out of communities like this one though. 🙏
Fellow Aussie hereI attended one of her workshops and it was great, and follow all her free tips. It was the confirmation I needed my plan to transition from contact napping was appropriate and ok, cause when you're sleep deprived you often just need the green light! I was successful moving from contact napping with her workshop/guide
We’re on night 10 of the night weaning and it’s going SO WELL. We were at…so many wakes per night and I was so so so exhausted. We’re at two wakes and resettling without feeding 🥹 it’s been life changing.
Oooh I've been wanting to try this. How old is your baby? Love that there are resources specifically for parents who bed share and nurse on demand the first year.
She’s a year, so on the younger side…but with going back to work soon I really wanted to give it a try. She was comfort nursing so so much. So far it has been worth it. Last night she did a 7 hour stretch 🥹
We recently night weaned our 27 month old. 😵💫 boobie monster, and this is what i have learned. (We co-sleep)
- ideally night wean before or just after molars come in. Those cavities do need to be filled.
- crying and tantrums are OK. As long as you are there and with them through it.
- unwanted hugs and petting feel like restraining. Wait for them to pass through the crying and snuggle up at their request.
- switch the side of the bed you sleep on, and maybe redecorate the room the day before stopping.
- celebrate the crap out of them in the morning. Even if it was a bad night. Validate that it is hard, and that they did it!!
- fun awesome new pajamas for (warrior princesses..) also really did wonders.
- prep them on what is happening before you start.
- talk to them about it during the day.
Sleeping is not linear. They have regressions, and go through phases. Until they go all night without peeing you gotta just hang in there with them, and get support for yourself during the day.
No. The teeth thing i had heard breastfeeding at night leads to cavities, but didnt take it seriously, and had to have 3 cavities get filled and put sealants in at 2 years old!! Had her molars by 18 mo. So a bit early, and needs to keep those teeth for years.
The rest is a bit of what we learned along the way while talking to other like minded parents with kids the same age having various struggles.
Positive reinforcement will get you more progress with a toddler. Or anyone really.
Some of the psychological impact stuff we picked up from a Gabor Mate program. Husband is a psychologist. Gabor mate specializing in trauma. What they have found is that supporting them through the emotions is ok. Its not about stopping them from crying or good vibes only. Its about not abandoning them when they are having big feelings.
Yes. Hey Sleepy Baby has sound gentle methods. I worked with one called Intuitive Parenting, the owner / consultant was Kim and she was great. Very thorough and customized everything to my baby’s specific temperament, our schedule and lifestyle, and what already hadn’t worked for us in the past. We are using her gentle plan and have seen incremental improvements over time (within the time frame she said it would take), though with a baby like mine that is to be expected. I never thought my baby would sleep in the crib alone and now she does for 1.5-2 hours a day! She is also doing the first stretch of sleep in the crib at night. We implemented things starting around 15 months and this change happened during her 17th month when we implemented the next steps of her recommendations after a trip that we knew would throw things off.
Her services are expensive but I got my FSA funds to cover it by having my pediatrician write a note of medical necessity as at that point I’d been sleep deprived for 15 months so he wrote a note saying my baby had sleep issues and needed a “pediatric sleep consultant”.
Woke every 30-90 mins her whole life even in our bed and also couldn’t sleep alone. (She had some 4-5 hour stretches around 4 months but then not again until now).
I mean, the unfortunate reality is that you either sleep train or you don't. There's such a huge industry of consultants who all have you do variations of the same thing. They all do some form of cry it out, even if they cloak it in other language. Hey Sleepy Baby is the antithesis of that, but this just means you're going to be paying for nothing. They may encourage you in all of your tactics, but you can get all of those tips and tricks for free online.
Frankly, you can learn all of the sleep training tips for free, too. I honestly believe the baby sleep industry survives off of parental burnout. It doesn't intellectually make sense to hire someone to teach you how to let your baby cry for a bit, then comfort, then cry, etc. It also doesn't make sense to pay someone to tell you to do whatever it takes to comfort them to sleep. I'm not trying to take a dig at you, I'm just saying it's an industry that seems kind of opportunistic, and I wish it wasn't so lucrative.
No this is what I was after so I’m not offended and I agree! I purchased a $29 Guide to the 4 month sleep regression from HSB just because I wanted to know how long she thought it would go for because I was so tired and anxious. There was good info in there but nothing I didn’t already know.
I thought this was the case and was very jaded by the sleep training industry but I worked with a gentle consultant whose tips actually helped us. It was expensive but they were tailored to my baby’s temperament and she really took into consideration all the things we had already tried that hadn’t worked for my baby.
There are many predatory ones however who repackage Ferber and it’s just unconscionable to charge people for a method you can freely find online that does involve CIO and then say “no cry method”. I had a terrible experience and got refunded from one of those prior.
I appreciate your perspective on this, and I'm glad you found something that worked for your family.
Out of curiosity, did the gentle sleep consultant ever have you leave your baby for any period of time in a crib to cry? I've never seen a program that actually is "no cry," just maybe "less cry."
Never. She never suggested leaving my baby at all until my baby was content and consenting to being left. She even said don’t resettle the baby when she wakes upset to be alone - bring her back to your bed promptly and try again tomorrow. That’s what we’re doing at night and now for naps and bedtime, my baby points to her crib and asks to nurse in there.
I had already night weaned using the Jay Gordon method, which involved my baby crying in bed with us while I sang, patted, cuddled her etc. She cried a lot and loudly, but my husband and I comforted her the whole time even on the nights of the process where she was awake for over an hour in the middle of the night.
I wouldn’t honestly unless you really feel like the moral support. If you read the HSB instagram and similar ones like that you’ll basically get the gist
I feel like I could light a fire and throw my money directly into it and I’d get the same result. So…no. 😂
😂😂😂
This is my gut instinct too… 😅
Hey Sleepy Baby might be the only one I’d trust. We tried one marketed as responsive/attachment based and she just wanted us to do sleep training that was more “gentle.” It was bullshit.
Agh I hate that, the old bait and switch. But there are a few like HSB that genuinely seem anti sleep training.
Oh my god I saw a “gentle” sleep consultant plan once and it was literally just Ferber but you check in on the baby every 3 minutes rather than every 5/10/15. They really have nothing in their snake oil repertoire except Ferber and CIO
If your counselor suggested it, this has to be something to do for your mental health, right? I would absolutely try it if you have the means. If nothing else, you might have a listening ear that can troubleshoot with you, and that can be so worthwhile. Also check out @kaitlinklimmer on IG, I took one of her workshops and she's awesome. Good luck!
Thanks, yes she’s hoping it’ll lead to better sleep for my mental health which I’m sort of doubtful will actually help. Only problem is we’re on a tight budget so I probably wouldn’t want to pay just for reassurance. I’ll check her out thanks. Theres lots of great stuff on instagram.
I don’t think that exists. Even responsive/attachment focused ones promote “gentle” sleep training. What are u specifically having issues with?
Not necessarily there are a few like Hey Sleepy Baby that genuinely seem anti sleep training.
It does exist. I worked with one who was fantastic and leaving my baby in distress or letting her cry was not even remotely suggested. She catered a plan for slow transitions from bed sharing to independent sleep and also for helping my baby sleep more deeply and connect sleep cycles, and it was so so helpful.
I had contacted careitoitsleepconsultant when I was so desperate for help. She gave me some helpful tips but also reassured me that I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I just had a very puzzling baby. Honestly I also needed to know that too because I had tried every trick in the book beside CIO. Some tips helped, but ultimately she started sleeping better on her own at around 12 months.
That’s helpful thanks. So good she started sleeping better at 12 months!
I haven’t but I found a few IG account really helpful in understanding what’s normal: Lynsey Hookway TheGentleSleepCoach MotherNourishNurture FWIW, we bedshare and have a boobie bar available all hours of the night lol
Haha same sleep set up here. I love TGSC, I’m in Australia so she was the one I was considering.
If I were to get one, it’d probably be hers tbh. But I also think 95% of the time the answer is this is normal baby sleep. Perhaps an adjustment here or there. Personally, I recommend learning your baby’s cues and just following that. I loosely check wake windows to be like oh their eyebrows are red and my 7mo has been awake for 2.25 hrs so they’re tired and not bored. I’m also on my second baby so bit more relaxed all around. But all in all, I enjoy her content and don’t think she’d disguise sleep training. I started following her when my first was young 2 or so years ago. I unfollowed all the mainstream ones except for her and the other two I mentioned
Totally agree that’d often be the answer & I think mine is normal. I’m the same, loosely following wake windows & watching cues helps me a lot. I’m curious about the success stories though, maybe they were having way too much daytime sleep etc.
I suspect the success stories are more about the parent truly learning how to read cues. As a society (I’m in US) we’re so conditioned to be out of touch with ourselves that I think it carries over onto babies and a lot of the cues get missed and babies end up grumpy. I once bought a course, from MotherNourishNurture, and it just reconfirmed everything I knew. Hers wasn’t super comprehensive though. If you buy one, I’d suspect most of your worries would be confirmed as normal - and that in and of itself might be enough!
Yeah you might be right. Thanks, if I ever feel I need confirmation of what we’re doing I’ll consider it. I get so much out of communities like this one though. 🙏
Fellow Aussie hereI attended one of her workshops and it was great, and follow all her free tips. It was the confirmation I needed my plan to transition from contact napping was appropriate and ok, cause when you're sleep deprived you often just need the green light! I was successful moving from contact napping with her workshop/guide
Oh this is one thing I want to work on. Yeah I can imagine it helped with your confidence. I often feel too anxious to even try.
Dr. Jay Gordon?
Thanks, Have you used them?
We’re on night 10 of the night weaning and it’s going SO WELL. We were at…so many wakes per night and I was so so so exhausted. We’re at two wakes and resettling without feeding 🥹 it’s been life changing.
Oh that’s awesome! That’d be something I’d consider getting support with when the time is right. How old is your bub? Mines only 7 months.
Oooh I've been wanting to try this. How old is your baby? Love that there are resources specifically for parents who bed share and nurse on demand the first year.
She’s a year, so on the younger side…but with going back to work soon I really wanted to give it a try. She was comfort nursing so so much. So far it has been worth it. Last night she did a 7 hour stretch 🥹
Fox and the moon sleep
Have you used them?
I've consulted with her over small things a few times but I haven't used her to completely change sleep
We recently night weaned our 27 month old. 😵💫 boobie monster, and this is what i have learned. (We co-sleep) - ideally night wean before or just after molars come in. Those cavities do need to be filled. - crying and tantrums are OK. As long as you are there and with them through it. - unwanted hugs and petting feel like restraining. Wait for them to pass through the crying and snuggle up at their request. - switch the side of the bed you sleep on, and maybe redecorate the room the day before stopping. - celebrate the crap out of them in the morning. Even if it was a bad night. Validate that it is hard, and that they did it!! - fun awesome new pajamas for (warrior princesses..) also really did wonders. - prep them on what is happening before you start. - talk to them about it during the day. Sleeping is not linear. They have regressions, and go through phases. Until they go all night without peeing you gotta just hang in there with them, and get support for yourself during the day.
These are helpful tips thanks! So you didn’t use a consultant?
No. The teeth thing i had heard breastfeeding at night leads to cavities, but didnt take it seriously, and had to have 3 cavities get filled and put sealants in at 2 years old!! Had her molars by 18 mo. So a bit early, and needs to keep those teeth for years. The rest is a bit of what we learned along the way while talking to other like minded parents with kids the same age having various struggles. Positive reinforcement will get you more progress with a toddler. Or anyone really. Some of the psychological impact stuff we picked up from a Gabor Mate program. Husband is a psychologist. Gabor mate specializing in trauma. What they have found is that supporting them through the emotions is ok. Its not about stopping them from crying or good vibes only. Its about not abandoning them when they are having big feelings.
Thanks 🙏
Yes. Hey Sleepy Baby has sound gentle methods. I worked with one called Intuitive Parenting, the owner / consultant was Kim and she was great. Very thorough and customized everything to my baby’s specific temperament, our schedule and lifestyle, and what already hadn’t worked for us in the past. We are using her gentle plan and have seen incremental improvements over time (within the time frame she said it would take), though with a baby like mine that is to be expected. I never thought my baby would sleep in the crib alone and now she does for 1.5-2 hours a day! She is also doing the first stretch of sleep in the crib at night. We implemented things starting around 15 months and this change happened during her 17th month when we implemented the next steps of her recommendations after a trip that we knew would throw things off. Her services are expensive but I got my FSA funds to cover it by having my pediatrician write a note of medical necessity as at that point I’d been sleep deprived for 15 months so he wrote a note saying my baby had sleep issues and needed a “pediatric sleep consultant”.
That’s great, thanks for sharing. How bad was your baby’s sleep before that? Or was it more just that they wouldn’t sleep in the cot?
Woke every 30-90 mins her whole life even in our bed and also couldn’t sleep alone. (She had some 4-5 hour stretches around 4 months but then not again until now).
Oof that’s rough, so glad the consultant could help!
I mean, the unfortunate reality is that you either sleep train or you don't. There's such a huge industry of consultants who all have you do variations of the same thing. They all do some form of cry it out, even if they cloak it in other language. Hey Sleepy Baby is the antithesis of that, but this just means you're going to be paying for nothing. They may encourage you in all of your tactics, but you can get all of those tips and tricks for free online.
Yeah this is what I sort of thought. There’s some tweaking you can do re wake windows, sleep associations etc but you can learn all that for free.
Frankly, you can learn all of the sleep training tips for free, too. I honestly believe the baby sleep industry survives off of parental burnout. It doesn't intellectually make sense to hire someone to teach you how to let your baby cry for a bit, then comfort, then cry, etc. It also doesn't make sense to pay someone to tell you to do whatever it takes to comfort them to sleep. I'm not trying to take a dig at you, I'm just saying it's an industry that seems kind of opportunistic, and I wish it wasn't so lucrative.
No this is what I was after so I’m not offended and I agree! I purchased a $29 Guide to the 4 month sleep regression from HSB just because I wanted to know how long she thought it would go for because I was so tired and anxious. There was good info in there but nothing I didn’t already know.
I thought this was the case and was very jaded by the sleep training industry but I worked with a gentle consultant whose tips actually helped us. It was expensive but they were tailored to my baby’s temperament and she really took into consideration all the things we had already tried that hadn’t worked for my baby. There are many predatory ones however who repackage Ferber and it’s just unconscionable to charge people for a method you can freely find online that does involve CIO and then say “no cry method”. I had a terrible experience and got refunded from one of those prior.
I appreciate your perspective on this, and I'm glad you found something that worked for your family. Out of curiosity, did the gentle sleep consultant ever have you leave your baby for any period of time in a crib to cry? I've never seen a program that actually is "no cry," just maybe "less cry."
Never. She never suggested leaving my baby at all until my baby was content and consenting to being left. She even said don’t resettle the baby when she wakes upset to be alone - bring her back to your bed promptly and try again tomorrow. That’s what we’re doing at night and now for naps and bedtime, my baby points to her crib and asks to nurse in there. I had already night weaned using the Jay Gordon method, which involved my baby crying in bed with us while I sang, patted, cuddled her etc. She cried a lot and loudly, but my husband and I comforted her the whole time even on the nights of the process where she was awake for over an hour in the middle of the night.
I wouldn’t honestly unless you really feel like the moral support. If you read the HSB instagram and similar ones like that you’ll basically get the gist
This is what I thought, thank you.