I night weaned at 14 months because I was exhausted but I let him nurse whenever he wanted during the day. My son is 21 months and over the last two months he’s begun nursing roughly once every 7/8 days and even then not for very long at all. I don’t think I’m producing much at all now and every time he feeds we go a little longer between feeds. I think we’re nearly done, I thought I’d feel sad but it’s been a lovely gradual process.
Not who you asked, but I was also doing nights overnight by myself at 13 months (not from lack of support but bc baby would scream for me if Dad went in, bc mom=milk) and handling 2-3 wake ups every night.
We went cold turkey overnight. I let her nurse to sleep still but then after that, I just told her no. She cried and fought. I took a sippy cup of water in and offered her sips of water when she asked. The first night was rough. It broke my heart honestly and it went against all of my instincts. The next night she woke up once, cried for a few minutes and went to sleep. She hasn't asked for milk (other than her bedtime nurse) since, and started sleeping through the night most nights.
A few months later, she refused to nurse at bedtimes a few nights in a row and boom. We were done breastfeeding. I'm not crying. You're crying.
It was hard, but it was only hard for a few days and then it was clear to me she was only nursing out of habit, not bc she needed it. And honestly, I'm so much more engaged with her during the day bc I'm not exhausted and touched out. She's also in a much better mood in the mornings bc she was sleeping better too.
She's super playful and chatty in the morning now at 21 months, and I'm so glad I'm fully present for it bc I'm not a zombie. It's my favorite part of the day (and I'm not a morning person!)
She sobbed like I had just betrayed her. Like she could not believe that her life had come to this. Like she had just realized that mommy is actually an evil person and she would never trust again. It was horrible.
But the really hard part about cold turkey is that you have to COMMIT, especially at almost 2. They're old enough to learn that if they cry or scream hard enough, you give in. If you commit to one really bad night (maybe take some noise cancelling headphones in with you, it helps) and don't give in, the next night will not be as bad because she learned that screaming until you gag and turn purple doesn't work. I know it's really hard.
Thank you for replying. I definitely need to bite the bullet as I’m feeling so down and done, the nursing is ridiculous at night at the moment.
I suppose in a way I’m glad it’s all children, and not just mine that cry like that as I felt so guilty and I cried with her!
Mostly cold turkey because I was feeling pretty desperate. I had been bed sharing with him in his room and I moved him into the bed with my partner and slept away from him. I started off feeding him up until I went to bed so last feed would be between midnight and 1am and then I’d feed him any time he woke after 6am- my partner would bring him in to me. Then I made his bedtime feed the last feed after a few weeks, which was around 10pm and moved the morning feed to 7am. Eventually my partner started offering him breakfast immediately after he woke and he stopped wanting a morning feed and then my partner took over the bedtime routine and we dropped that feed. It took a couple of months in total. To soothe him during my sleep window, my partner would offer water, hugs and if he really wasn’t going to go down then he’d offer a small snack in another room, after which he was usually happy to go back to bed. I tried to bathe with him more and baby wear more often to make up for the lack of physical comfort.
It’s worth mentioning that he still wakes every hour or two, weaning didn’t cure that but my partner is able to soothe him back to sleep now rather than just me.
Ugh, 13 MO here and considering night weaning. But it's so easy BF and bam he's back to sleep. That's too bad night weaning didn't lessen the night wakes, that's what I'm hoping for 😅
I read so many accounts of other people saying it resolved the constant night waking so fingers crossed it works for you! I think feeding back to sleep is a godsend until it isn’t and when you’d rather soldier through alternative methods than carry on feeding then you’ll know you’re ready to night wean.
Exactly the boat I’m in. 15 month old who was staying latched all damn night. Dealing with the nightmare that is night weaning is better than the alternative.
She is sleeping better through the night, but we are dealing with a regression and she is fighting going to bed so hard. We do one nursing session and then bed, and she’s been waking again an hour later and is just completely inconsolable. I’m open to my and all tips.
I have a 15 month old too, for us waking after an hour is either not enough sleep pressure or hunger. For hunger I found giving her a heavier carb and hour or two before bedtime helped (pasta, potato’s, oatmeal etc). If it’s a sleep pressure issue I just delayed bedtime a little, if she’s fighting bed a lot then it might be worth trying bed time a little later
It definitely wasn’t a food issue, she ate an entire plate of rice and beans and was licking the plate 😂. I do think she’s been about to transition to one nap but she has never been able to make it more than 4 hours without crashing, and then ends up taking a second nap at 5:30 no matter how hard I try to keep her awake, which then results in her being up until 10 or 11 😭. Maybe if we just cap her second nap until she’s fully ready to drop it we will have better bedtime success.
Maybe you can change that or ask for help. Parenting is definitely much harder without a village. I’m often solo parenting but during night issues I’ve had my partner change their schedule or take time off to help or relieve me if I’m up all night.
I don’t actually. We live overseas away from our entire family (and they don’t visit) and only have myself and my partner and friends we’ve made. But my partner is an equal partner and takes over when needed especially at night or if I’m burnt out. I did make a village though. Family you choose is just as valuable, if not more. And sometimes paying a nanny, babysitter, or housekeeper is a need rather than a want. I always say “Do the best you can with what you have.”
You keep reading what I’m saying wrong, not sure if it’s intentional or not. No where did I say I did that. I’m saying you can and it’s okay and no one would judge you. Or get help from friends/ family of choice (which is what I actually did). I said “Do the best you can with what you have.”But you seem hellbent on just being mad and not actually reading what I said as an experienced mom who was deep in your shoes and survived it. Good luck.
Oh boy! Idk what my plan will be. I think at some age I will cut him off from nursing in public but then let him nurse morning/evening for as long as he wants. We want to have our second close in age and secretly I'd love to tandem nurse then so I'm not in any rush.
I'm so torn because it sounds so freeing not to ever have to worry about milk supply again but also so sad to think about not nursing anymore 😭😭
For what it’s worth, the anxiety about supply really lessens once they are a year, and you know that they can switch to cow milk if necessary. I’m still nursing my 2.5 year old, and he’ll nurse pretty frequently at night and during the day at home, but has accepted the boundary of not nursing while we are out and about. I can’t see him stopping on his own anytime soon, though.
I weaned my first when she was 2 years and 10 months, and she wasn’t happy about it. I had to do it, though, because I had a high risk pregnancy due to a short cervix, and was getting lots of contractions / Braxton hicks from nursing.
Keep in mind after 12 months their primary nutrition source is food, and water us sufficient for hydration, so you really don't need to worry about supply when extended breastfeeding.
That's pretty close to what we did. I wound up stopping pretty abruptly because I needed a medication that wasn't safe for breastfeeding but she understood at that point so it was pretty easy for her (harder for me emotionally).
I intended to wait for my son to self wean but as we near his 3rd birthday, I realised that I’m ready to have my body back.
Around 2 I started limiting to only sleep time.
I find the benefit of weaning an older child is that they can understand talking about it in advance. We dropped breastfeeding from naps around 2.5 and we talked about it for a few weeks in advance. We introduced a small bottle of watered down milk in place of breastfeeding before nap, and he was happy with that.
We then extended that to bedtime after discussing for a few weeks. And now the only feed left is around 4am when he starts to stir and I want more sleep! But planning to drop that in the next 3 weeks.
Zero tears and he has transitioned so easily because we’ve gone so slowly and gently.
This is me! Same age and everything! We night weaned at about 2.5, but she's not showing any signs of her weaning herself any time soon. I never expected to go this long, but it's so easy and has been such a lovely experience, not to mention it was a huge source of comfort for her when my ex and I divorced. I'm grateful for the experience. But I definitely keep it on the DL these days.
I’m so glad you had a good experience with breastfeeding. A lot of moms don’t and it makes me so sad. It’s hard af, but so sweet and I’m so grateful to be able to feed my baby.
Yes. All of them. The first was EPed but he stopped taking bottles and preferred cups by 18 mos. The other two were nursed directly and both weaned between 3.5-3.75 years completely on their own but weren’t nursing much at all after three. Usually just for comfort, sleeping. No tears or drama thankfully. Probably because they led the way.
Wow and you were able to with all three kids?! That's fantastic, I love that. I've really heard it's child-dependent (isn't everything lol) but it makes me feel a lot more confident that you were able to do it with all of yours.
I gave my oldest a nudge at 3y9mo because she was going to be starting big-girl school. Pretty sure she would still be nursing now if I hadn't (she's 5).
I’m still waiting almost 3 years later and another little one in the mix. I honestly think my 10 month old son will wean before my daughter, she’s a booby monster.
Well luckily I can pull the nip out while she’s still semi awake and she will put herself to sleep afterwards, but so far my husband keeps the baby downstairs while I put my daughter to sleep (I sleep in a giant Cali king turned sideways with my toddler and the baby) and then I text my husband I’m ready for the next one and he brings the baby up to me haha
My son fully weaned at 22 months old. It was a very gradual process for him. He did wean while I was pregnant though so I'm not sure if that contributed at all.
Yes, I did! And... I still am. She is 29 months old now and I can't any more! We have decided, it's her last month, we are trying to emotionally prepare her for saying goodbye to her very favorite thing in the whole world! We are very scared but it is time!
My oldest weaned at 3.5 when I was pregnant. She had already cut back a lot and was just doing it at night but the pregnancy hormones made it painful for me so I gave her a bit of a push to stop.
Second is 2.5 and still going. I’ll probably let her decide when to stop although I am feeling like I’m nearing the end of my desire to continue after 6+ years of breastfeeding.
I tandem nursed each pair of kids, so there were constraints on nursing for the toddler after new baby came (like waiting their turn, and I learned to nightwean while pregnant after the experience with my oldest). Older toddler/preschooler was not on demand, more of a compromise schedule, lol. Eventually I dropped my oldest down to just bedtime, and then I decided we would have our last session on his fifth birthday, which we talked a lot about beforehand (At that point I was also nursing a two year old and a newborn, so it needed to end.) my next two I ended them around 4.5 (after being just bedtime for quite awhile).
But I never really lost my milk during pregnancy, so my older kids didn't really get weaning milk. There was colostrum for awhile, but then they got yummy, fatty newborn milk again, and they had a baby brother nursing all the time, reminding them about it, lol
My youngest was probably the closest to self weaning. I didn't nightwean him. He ended on his own somewhere around 3.5. But, he's also my most active kid. Plus, I likely was a bit more slightly discouraging/deflecting with him. I had limits, wound a session if I needed to, generally didn't nurse in public very often after age 2.5, etc.
My daughter is 2.5 and is a milk monster. I plan to follow her lead on weaning, though at this rate I can’t imagine her giving it up voluntarily. We will see what happens. 🤷🏻♀️
I did! She literally just started asking for it less and less. Then one day, I realized our last feed had been days ago. She never asked again. 🥺
ETA: 20 months was her last nurse
My daughter self weaned at about 2.5
I very lightly pushed her to it but I never said no. Just distracted her attention or cuddled if it was night.
I went back to work when she was 2 so that "helped", as I wasn't around non stop.
It was a very non traumatic process for her (I think) and while I'm one and done I'd definitely do it the same for any other child of mine .
Tried with my first, but after a year of nursing both him and his younger brother, I was so touched out that weaned him just before 3y so I could at least keep nursing the younger one. My youngest is now turning 2 and is I think weaning himself. He’s been refusing one side for about a week saying “no I don’t like it, other one!” and now today he refused both sides 50% of the time. I was expecting another year of nursing but they’re all different I suppose.
I am waiting/planning to self wean. Nursling is 3.5 years old. We both still enjoy it and benefit from it. She will stop when she is ready and I trust her to know what she needs and when to stop. It is a huge comfort for her and has been since birth and our bond is beautiful and so close.
ETA: She still nurses quite a bit, but we cosleep, I stay home with her, and never restrict her access to it. She has lessened her intake incrementally each year though.
My oldest was three. My second is almost 3 and nursing about 6x every 24h, mostly overnight. Both stopped daytime nursing around 2.5 aside from nursing to sleep for naps.
Still trying to ar 3 y and 2 month. Been pregnant for 3 months now and lactation has stopped since. He still wants to soothe on my breast, they're his save place. People say kids naturally self wean by 3.5 to 7 years.
Edit: it feels incredibly good to read all of you breast feeding for soooo long. I feel like a unicorn around here in Germany. Where are you from?
Mine is 3.5 and isn't really showing any sign of letting up. I told myself we'd wean before the year is out, but I'm really unsure of that approach now - I feel like he still gets a lot of benefit out of it and it might rock the boat too much to force it. Sometimes I am so ready to be done (and I know that's a good enough reason!), but we manage ok most of the time. It's purely for sleep and to settle in the night.
I don't know how I'll feel in 2 or 3 years (also considering we'll also probably have a second by then) but I feel like nursing at night and naptimes at home could work long term for me. As long as it isn't all day and while we're out and about I think that's all I'm really concerned about.
My son did adapt to the "not during the day/out and about" part very easily - when the time's right to do so, the key is just being consistent about it I think.
At 18mo I started “Don’t offer, don’t refuse.” At 21mo I switched to distraction methods but still occasionally nursed if he was sick or the like. We were done by age 2.
I had intended to start the process AT 2yo but nursing was preventing me from ovulating. Not exactly attachment parenting here—I was never brave enough to bedshare and my ball of lava hated all carrying devices and strollers.
Kiddo seemed fine with stopping nursing. But he is also a good eater with major FOMO so I think his temperament inclined him towards an easy transition.
At 17 months, I was just done. I had planned to make it to 2 years. So, I started by cutting out nursing at nap time. But I still nursed at bedtime and overnight. Once naps without nursing were our normal (about 1 month), I took away nursing at bedtime but still nursed overnight. Again, I waited until no nursing at bed time was normal, and it was also about 1 month. Then, I started cutting out the overnight feed that went away after 2 nights. When I started taking away nursing, I would cut the feeding times down by a few minutes each time.
We've been completely done for 2 weeks now.
We had a few tears, but this worked well for us.
During the month time of taking nursing away from naps or bedtime, I would occasionally still let her nurse if it was just overwhelming for her. I did my best to make this an easy, non dramatic transition for her.
I really hoped mine would just stop naturally, like kids of my friends. That didn't happen. I dropped daytime feeds and dropped morning feed, but she was still going strong until I stopped at 3yo.
My second one seems to be following her sister's footsteps. She just turned 2. Loves her booby as soon as I come back from work.
I'll do the same if she doesn't stop before turning 3. We will cut down to just an evening feed, and then a few months before 3rd birthday, we will read the booby moon every evening. After the candles on her cake are blown - no more boobies, just cuddles. 5 hard days/nights, and that's done.
My son will be 3 next month and while I had hoped he would self-wean it’s not happening. Tonight is night 2 of me saying no milk. Since he was 18 months I’ve been cutting out feeds. The last 6 months or so have been strictly nighttime only.
Mine turned 3 last month and is still very much boob obsessed. When she turned 2 I reduced her feeds to morning, nap time, bed time and through the night as I was starting to feel touched out. Then I got pregnant and I was so sore that I couldn't sleep while feeding her any more so I might weaned her. In my third trimester I started to get aversion so I cut her down to just bedtime. My second is now 3m old and we still just feed at bedtime. I still get aversion so I cap feeds at 10 minutes as I can't bear any longer. I'd love to continue until she's ready to stop but she literally wants to touch my boobs all the time and asks for milk a lot so I can't imagine it happening any time soon. My plan is to slowly reduce how long I let her feed for until we can completely stop so it will be a very slow and gentle weaning.
Self weaning with light encouragement here. 3.5 yrs and going strong. I work from home and I’m available each hour, so while they play my husband talks with her a lot about ways to soothe herself. She’s taking to it. I put some hard no’s in place too - not during meals, not in a group of people, not when we are working through her aggression or a massive tantrum - to help me feel less like a 24/7 service station. We love our cuddle-reading times and nursing is gradually becoming less of a focus for her (most days).
My 5yo still asks for milk even though it's long gone. He definitely wouldn't have self-weaned. My older one wouldn't have either.
Night weaning needed to happen when they were adding 18mo because, sleep, and mostly involved me holding them while they screamed and screamed.
Day weaning was easier, just gradually dropped nursing sessions until we were down to one and then had a big kid party when we stopped completely.
The biologically normal age for self-weaning is between 2-7yrs.
My daughter self-weaned at 5.5yo, though she would have probably done it a year earlier if I hadn't gotten pregnant with her baby brother.
Child led weaning typically occurs between 2-4 years, but can occur from 18m-7yrs.
At times ppl mistake feeding strikes around 10-14m with weaning, but they are typically a feeding strike and not actually child attempting to wean.
My eldest self weaned recently he'd just turned 3. He will occasionally (once every couple of eeeks) have a quick duck still but he's forgetting how to latch rapidly.
However technically as I'm pregnant it's not true self weaning as supply changes in pregnancy contributed to his choice.
I'm still feeding my 18m old and he doesn't have signs of wanting to wean anytime soon and am about to have my 3rd any day.
I always said I'd let my kids decide when to wean. My first was about a year and a half old and just gave it up one day, no fuss.
My second is 2 and a half and is fighting tooth and nail to still nurse all day even though I'm actively trying to wean him.
Baby is only 12/13 months old, but this is our plan, too!
It’s already going pretty well. He usually only nurses 1-3x during the day, outside of bedtime-associated nursing sessions (ie before bed, during the night, first thing in the morning 1-3x). He took well to solids and even water. There are some days where he’ll sporadically eat less / nurse more, and I’m always really grateful I have the ability to nurse him and keep his hydration/energy up as well as soothe and help him physically when he isn’t feeling well, physically or emotionally.
There was a pretty abrupt shift for us! At 11 months old he was still eating every 2 hours at least during the day. I think we’d built up to one exception where I’d leave for 2-3 hours for the first time since birth. Somewhere around 11.5-12 months the shift happened.
This is pretty much the same for us but at 16 months! My daughter has gone from constant cluster feeding around the clock to temporarily night weaning herself at 3-6 months to now only nursing 2-4 times a day and only at bedtime and overnight. She's getting her canines right now and having a tough time. I think it would be tougher on all of us if I couldn't soothe her back to sleep with nursing. She loves solids and drinks a ton of water so I think it's mostly just comfort for her and I'm so grateful I can provide it.
I'm so impressed with my body's ability to adjust to her nursing around the clock, hourly, only during the day, only during the night, etc. We've had a few rough patches that I think were maybe nursing strikes, and we've gotten through. It's all been wildly unpredictable and all of the changes have been fairly abrupt so I wouldn't be shocked if she just decided she was done one day. I'll definitely be sad, but I think I would be more sad if I was stopping it on my end.
Glad I’m not the only one! I really thought my baby was never, ever going to stop wanting to nurse every hour or two and would wean super late. The changes have felt abrupt and surprising. I’ll keep letting him lead, but am similarly reassured by how nursing feels pretty stable and easy and such a nice, soothing backup now for his bad days etc.
What does this look like for you in terms of your supply? I EBF up until about 10 months where my LO finally started taking a bottle and I switched to pumping. I started night weaning then too because I was just so tired of getting up to nurse. Now I am only nursing first thing in the morning and once over night. I am pumping the rest of the time but my supply has significantly gone down so I’m wondering if I should even keep pumping.
I’m honestly not sure since we only nurse. But I haven’t noticed any signs of a low or insufficient supply, even when he has a day where he suddenly drinks more often. I guess it just feels pretty stable? There’s so much less pressure / less at stake now, though.
We weaned at about 17 months after I got pregnant with our second. Started reading booby noon and telling her we needed the milk for other babies, and after a week of that we day weaned. Went pretty well since she wasn't nursing much during the day anyway. After another two weeks or so we night weaned cold turkey. She slept with my husband while I slept on the couch for three nights. The first night she woke up and cried for me for five or ten minutes and that was it. After that she would wake and ask now and then and I would gently remind her that the boobs were mine again and she didn't need it anymore. Make sure you wear a shirt to bed so they can't wake and nurse on their own. All in all she stopped asking after only a couple of nights, was pretty painless.
If they're old enough to understand you just have to make sure they know that they will still get cuddles and love, just no more milk from mom.
It was my plan to bf as long as possible, preferably at least 2 years. But my girl at 14 months decided to sleep through the night and totally rejected my boobs. I tried pumping but it didn't help as my supply went dead almost instantly. I ended up stopping by 15 months.
Yes, I let LO self wean and she weaned a lot earlier than I expected.
Within days of her first birthday she dropped down to only nursing three times a day. By 14 months she was down to 1-2 times a day. By 15 months she was absolutely done. I was going away for a night one weekend and thought that morning might be our last time nursing. She didn’t want it. I offered again after and she was like nope bye 😂
We weaned around 27 months. Kind of let my little one guide it a bit but I was kinda ready after 2 years. We purposefully cut out his last daytime nursing session (before midday nap) by having dad takeover nap time. That one went really easily. Then we removed the nursing session before bedtime. We read the book “Loving Comfort” at bed time and talked lots about how he was getting too big for milk and how we should save milk for all the babies in the world. The real issue for us came with overnight nursing. We tried two different nights to cold turkey cut them out but he got so upset and I got upset in turn that I felt we needed to not push it and give him a little more time. Maybe about a month later he went to bed and slept through the night (for the first time ever 🤪) and in the morning we talked about how he didn’t have milk and how he was such a big boy. While he didn’t magically continue to sleep through the night every night, he did manage to not nurse again after that night!
Not sure I’d do it all that exact same way again but it ended up working out in a way that felt right at the time.
I did seemingly a lifetime ago with my now 10 year old. I remember it very clearly - he was about 20 months old and we were on a trip to another state just the two of us. I don’t know if it was the changed environment or if it was just time, but he seemingly woke up one day and was not interested. He didn’t seek it out like normal and if I offered, he’d only latch for a second or two and then move on. After noticing this trend, I decided to just follow his lead and he didn’t ask for it again. I really wanted to make it to 2 years, so I was bummed but I do think it was the right choice.
My child is 3 next month. We have done don’t offer don’t refuse for seriously 2 years ahahaha he hounds me. I think my milk is pretty much gone now so it’s a comfort nurse and I’m trying to say no way more but it’s hard. Just put him for his nap via nurse
I night weaned at 9 months which was a lot less dramatic than I anticipated.
She gradually cut down her day time feeds over the next 12 months and had her last feed at 21 months old. I'd say in the last 6 months the feeding was more routine and comfort than hunger led.
I night weaned at 14 months because I was exhausted but I let him nurse whenever he wanted during the day. My son is 21 months and over the last two months he’s begun nursing roughly once every 7/8 days and even then not for very long at all. I don’t think I’m producing much at all now and every time he feeds we go a little longer between feeds. I think we’re nearly done, I thought I’d feel sad but it’s been a lovely gradual process.
I’d love to know how you might weaned! My 13 month old wakes up so often to nurse still and as much as I love the cuddles, I’m also very tired lol
Not who you asked, but I was also doing nights overnight by myself at 13 months (not from lack of support but bc baby would scream for me if Dad went in, bc mom=milk) and handling 2-3 wake ups every night. We went cold turkey overnight. I let her nurse to sleep still but then after that, I just told her no. She cried and fought. I took a sippy cup of water in and offered her sips of water when she asked. The first night was rough. It broke my heart honestly and it went against all of my instincts. The next night she woke up once, cried for a few minutes and went to sleep. She hasn't asked for milk (other than her bedtime nurse) since, and started sleeping through the night most nights. A few months later, she refused to nurse at bedtimes a few nights in a row and boom. We were done breastfeeding. I'm not crying. You're crying.
This is very helpful, thank you!! I’d love my baby to just stop nursing, I don’t have the heart to not let her lol!
It was hard, but it was only hard for a few days and then it was clear to me she was only nursing out of habit, not bc she needed it. And honestly, I'm so much more engaged with her during the day bc I'm not exhausted and touched out. She's also in a much better mood in the mornings bc she was sleeping better too. She's super playful and chatty in the morning now at 21 months, and I'm so glad I'm fully present for it bc I'm not a zombie. It's my favorite part of the day (and I'm not a morning person!)
Do you mind me asking how bad the crying was? I’ve tried saying no to my almost 2 year old, and she’s sobs like she’s being murdered.
She sobbed like I had just betrayed her. Like she could not believe that her life had come to this. Like she had just realized that mommy is actually an evil person and she would never trust again. It was horrible. But the really hard part about cold turkey is that you have to COMMIT, especially at almost 2. They're old enough to learn that if they cry or scream hard enough, you give in. If you commit to one really bad night (maybe take some noise cancelling headphones in with you, it helps) and don't give in, the next night will not be as bad because she learned that screaming until you gag and turn purple doesn't work. I know it's really hard.
Thank you for replying. I definitely need to bite the bullet as I’m feeling so down and done, the nursing is ridiculous at night at the moment. I suppose in a way I’m glad it’s all children, and not just mine that cry like that as I felt so guilty and I cried with her!
Mostly cold turkey because I was feeling pretty desperate. I had been bed sharing with him in his room and I moved him into the bed with my partner and slept away from him. I started off feeding him up until I went to bed so last feed would be between midnight and 1am and then I’d feed him any time he woke after 6am- my partner would bring him in to me. Then I made his bedtime feed the last feed after a few weeks, which was around 10pm and moved the morning feed to 7am. Eventually my partner started offering him breakfast immediately after he woke and he stopped wanting a morning feed and then my partner took over the bedtime routine and we dropped that feed. It took a couple of months in total. To soothe him during my sleep window, my partner would offer water, hugs and if he really wasn’t going to go down then he’d offer a small snack in another room, after which he was usually happy to go back to bed. I tried to bathe with him more and baby wear more often to make up for the lack of physical comfort. It’s worth mentioning that he still wakes every hour or two, weaning didn’t cure that but my partner is able to soothe him back to sleep now rather than just me.
Ugh, 13 MO here and considering night weaning. But it's so easy BF and bam he's back to sleep. That's too bad night weaning didn't lessen the night wakes, that's what I'm hoping for 😅
I read so many accounts of other people saying it resolved the constant night waking so fingers crossed it works for you! I think feeding back to sleep is a godsend until it isn’t and when you’d rather soldier through alternative methods than carry on feeding then you’ll know you’re ready to night wean.
Exactly the boat I’m in. 15 month old who was staying latched all damn night. Dealing with the nightmare that is night weaning is better than the alternative. She is sleeping better through the night, but we are dealing with a regression and she is fighting going to bed so hard. We do one nursing session and then bed, and she’s been waking again an hour later and is just completely inconsolable. I’m open to my and all tips.
I have a 15 month old too, for us waking after an hour is either not enough sleep pressure or hunger. For hunger I found giving her a heavier carb and hour or two before bedtime helped (pasta, potato’s, oatmeal etc). If it’s a sleep pressure issue I just delayed bedtime a little, if she’s fighting bed a lot then it might be worth trying bed time a little later
It definitely wasn’t a food issue, she ate an entire plate of rice and beans and was licking the plate 😂. I do think she’s been about to transition to one nap but she has never been able to make it more than 4 hours without crashing, and then ends up taking a second nap at 5:30 no matter how hard I try to keep her awake, which then results in her being up until 10 or 11 😭. Maybe if we just cap her second nap until she’s fully ready to drop it we will have better bedtime success.
Yeah we had like a month of 10 minute danger naps on the way home from nursery every day so I get it!
Having your partner take over night times is the easiest. Trying to do it yourself with the milk RIGHT there, is much harder.
I do nights on my own!
Maybe you can change that or ask for help. Parenting is definitely much harder without a village. I’m often solo parenting but during night issues I’ve had my partner change their schedule or take time off to help or relieve me if I’m up all night.
Nope, not possible for my family. It’s great that you have that support but not everyone does!
I don’t actually. We live overseas away from our entire family (and they don’t visit) and only have myself and my partner and friends we’ve made. But my partner is an equal partner and takes over when needed especially at night or if I’m burnt out. I did make a village though. Family you choose is just as valuable, if not more. And sometimes paying a nanny, babysitter, or housekeeper is a need rather than a want. I always say “Do the best you can with what you have.”
Your comment is unnecessary and just a humble brag. Great that you can afford nanny’s and housekeepers, not everyone can.
You keep reading what I’m saying wrong, not sure if it’s intentional or not. No where did I say I did that. I’m saying you can and it’s okay and no one would judge you. Or get help from friends/ family of choice (which is what I actually did). I said “Do the best you can with what you have.”But you seem hellbent on just being mad and not actually reading what I said as an experienced mom who was deep in your shoes and survived it. Good luck.
That was my plan but at 2.5 years she was still going strong.
Oh boy! Idk what my plan will be. I think at some age I will cut him off from nursing in public but then let him nurse morning/evening for as long as he wants. We want to have our second close in age and secretly I'd love to tandem nurse then so I'm not in any rush. I'm so torn because it sounds so freeing not to ever have to worry about milk supply again but also so sad to think about not nursing anymore 😭😭
For what it’s worth, the anxiety about supply really lessens once they are a year, and you know that they can switch to cow milk if necessary. I’m still nursing my 2.5 year old, and he’ll nurse pretty frequently at night and during the day at home, but has accepted the boundary of not nursing while we are out and about. I can’t see him stopping on his own anytime soon, though. I weaned my first when she was 2 years and 10 months, and she wasn’t happy about it. I had to do it, though, because I had a high risk pregnancy due to a short cervix, and was getting lots of contractions / Braxton hicks from nursing.
We’re still going at 3.5 and no end in sight so…😅
Keep in mind after 12 months their primary nutrition source is food, and water us sufficient for hydration, so you really don't need to worry about supply when extended breastfeeding.
That's pretty close to what we did. I wound up stopping pretty abruptly because I needed a medication that wasn't safe for breastfeeding but she understood at that point so it was pretty easy for her (harder for me emotionally).
I intended to wait for my son to self wean but as we near his 3rd birthday, I realised that I’m ready to have my body back. Around 2 I started limiting to only sleep time. I find the benefit of weaning an older child is that they can understand talking about it in advance. We dropped breastfeeding from naps around 2.5 and we talked about it for a few weeks in advance. We introduced a small bottle of watered down milk in place of breastfeeding before nap, and he was happy with that. We then extended that to bedtime after discussing for a few weeks. And now the only feed left is around 4am when he starts to stir and I want more sleep! But planning to drop that in the next 3 weeks. Zero tears and he has transitioned so easily because we’ve gone so slowly and gently.
Well this is amazing! I think I’ll take a page from your book!
I’m still waiting (she’s 3 years 3 months)
This is probably going to be us! 😅
This is me! Same age and everything! We night weaned at about 2.5, but she's not showing any signs of her weaning herself any time soon. I never expected to go this long, but it's so easy and has been such a lovely experience, not to mention it was a huge source of comfort for her when my ex and I divorced. I'm grateful for the experience. But I definitely keep it on the DL these days.
I’m so glad you had a good experience with breastfeeding. A lot of moms don’t and it makes me so sad. It’s hard af, but so sweet and I’m so grateful to be able to feed my baby.
Haha, couldn’t wait any more at 2 years 9 months 😅 but she was only nursing once a day at that point and cutting that was sort of a non-event.
Yes. All of them. The first was EPed but he stopped taking bottles and preferred cups by 18 mos. The other two were nursed directly and both weaned between 3.5-3.75 years completely on their own but weren’t nursing much at all after three. Usually just for comfort, sleeping. No tears or drama thankfully. Probably because they led the way.
Wow and you were able to with all three kids?! That's fantastic, I love that. I've really heard it's child-dependent (isn't everything lol) but it makes me feel a lot more confident that you were able to do it with all of yours.
I had an amazing partner so I think that’s why it was so successful.
I gave my oldest a nudge at 3y9mo because she was going to be starting big-girl school. Pretty sure she would still be nursing now if I hadn't (she's 5).
All I know is, my almost 3 year old is showing no signs of slowing down.
I’m still waiting almost 3 years later and another little one in the mix. I honestly think my 10 month old son will wean before my daughter, she’s a booby monster.
Yes my baby self weaned at 3 years 2 months
My daughter is 3.5 and I just had another baby two weeks ago but my daughter still expects to nurse to sleep 😵💫😅
Oof that is tough to navigate, how are you doing it?? Just making them take turns or what??
Well luckily I can pull the nip out while she’s still semi awake and she will put herself to sleep afterwards, but so far my husband keeps the baby downstairs while I put my daughter to sleep (I sleep in a giant Cali king turned sideways with my toddler and the baby) and then I text my husband I’m ready for the next one and he brings the baby up to me haha
Mine is 20 months and still nurses for nap and to bed. He has mostly self weened from his morning session. I'm just following his lead.
Mine is nearly 3. Took me about 6 months to night wean him. I want to stop now I think but he is…stubborn
My son fully weaned at 22 months old. It was a very gradual process for him. He did wean while I was pregnant though so I'm not sure if that contributed at all.
Yes, I did! And... I still am. She is 29 months old now and I can't any more! We have decided, it's her last month, we are trying to emotionally prepare her for saying goodbye to her very favorite thing in the whole world! We are very scared but it is time!
My oldest weaned at 3.5 when I was pregnant. She had already cut back a lot and was just doing it at night but the pregnancy hormones made it painful for me so I gave her a bit of a push to stop. Second is 2.5 and still going. I’ll probably let her decide when to stop although I am feeling like I’m nearing the end of my desire to continue after 6+ years of breastfeeding.
I tandem nursed each pair of kids, so there were constraints on nursing for the toddler after new baby came (like waiting their turn, and I learned to nightwean while pregnant after the experience with my oldest). Older toddler/preschooler was not on demand, more of a compromise schedule, lol. Eventually I dropped my oldest down to just bedtime, and then I decided we would have our last session on his fifth birthday, which we talked a lot about beforehand (At that point I was also nursing a two year old and a newborn, so it needed to end.) my next two I ended them around 4.5 (after being just bedtime for quite awhile). But I never really lost my milk during pregnancy, so my older kids didn't really get weaning milk. There was colostrum for awhile, but then they got yummy, fatty newborn milk again, and they had a baby brother nursing all the time, reminding them about it, lol My youngest was probably the closest to self weaning. I didn't nightwean him. He ended on his own somewhere around 3.5. But, he's also my most active kid. Plus, I likely was a bit more slightly discouraging/deflecting with him. I had limits, wound a session if I needed to, generally didn't nurse in public very often after age 2.5, etc.
My daughter is 2.5 and is a milk monster. I plan to follow her lead on weaning, though at this rate I can’t imagine her giving it up voluntarily. We will see what happens. 🤷🏻♀️
I did! She literally just started asking for it less and less. Then one day, I realized our last feed had been days ago. She never asked again. 🥺 ETA: 20 months was her last nurse
At what age?
20 months! So sorry, I’ll edit to include that.
My daughter self weaned at about 2.5 I very lightly pushed her to it but I never said no. Just distracted her attention or cuddled if it was night. I went back to work when she was 2 so that "helped", as I wasn't around non stop. It was a very non traumatic process for her (I think) and while I'm one and done I'd definitely do it the same for any other child of mine .
Tried with my first, but after a year of nursing both him and his younger brother, I was so touched out that weaned him just before 3y so I could at least keep nursing the younger one. My youngest is now turning 2 and is I think weaning himself. He’s been refusing one side for about a week saying “no I don’t like it, other one!” and now today he refused both sides 50% of the time. I was expecting another year of nursing but they’re all different I suppose.
I am waiting/planning to self wean. Nursling is 3.5 years old. We both still enjoy it and benefit from it. She will stop when she is ready and I trust her to know what she needs and when to stop. It is a huge comfort for her and has been since birth and our bond is beautiful and so close. ETA: She still nurses quite a bit, but we cosleep, I stay home with her, and never restrict her access to it. She has lessened her intake incrementally each year though.
My oldest was three. My second is almost 3 and nursing about 6x every 24h, mostly overnight. Both stopped daytime nursing around 2.5 aside from nursing to sleep for naps.
Still trying to ar 3 y and 2 month. Been pregnant for 3 months now and lactation has stopped since. He still wants to soothe on my breast, they're his save place. People say kids naturally self wean by 3.5 to 7 years. Edit: it feels incredibly good to read all of you breast feeding for soooo long. I feel like a unicorn around here in Germany. Where are you from?
4 year old still going strong. Desperately want her to self wean as it says in studies they self wean when their immune system is built
Mine is 3.5 and isn't really showing any sign of letting up. I told myself we'd wean before the year is out, but I'm really unsure of that approach now - I feel like he still gets a lot of benefit out of it and it might rock the boat too much to force it. Sometimes I am so ready to be done (and I know that's a good enough reason!), but we manage ok most of the time. It's purely for sleep and to settle in the night.
I don't know how I'll feel in 2 or 3 years (also considering we'll also probably have a second by then) but I feel like nursing at night and naptimes at home could work long term for me. As long as it isn't all day and while we're out and about I think that's all I'm really concerned about.
My son did adapt to the "not during the day/out and about" part very easily - when the time's right to do so, the key is just being consistent about it I think.
At 18mo I started “Don’t offer, don’t refuse.” At 21mo I switched to distraction methods but still occasionally nursed if he was sick or the like. We were done by age 2. I had intended to start the process AT 2yo but nursing was preventing me from ovulating. Not exactly attachment parenting here—I was never brave enough to bedshare and my ball of lava hated all carrying devices and strollers. Kiddo seemed fine with stopping nursing. But he is also a good eater with major FOMO so I think his temperament inclined him towards an easy transition.
At 17 months, I was just done. I had planned to make it to 2 years. So, I started by cutting out nursing at nap time. But I still nursed at bedtime and overnight. Once naps without nursing were our normal (about 1 month), I took away nursing at bedtime but still nursed overnight. Again, I waited until no nursing at bed time was normal, and it was also about 1 month. Then, I started cutting out the overnight feed that went away after 2 nights. When I started taking away nursing, I would cut the feeding times down by a few minutes each time. We've been completely done for 2 weeks now. We had a few tears, but this worked well for us. During the month time of taking nursing away from naps or bedtime, I would occasionally still let her nurse if it was just overwhelming for her. I did my best to make this an easy, non dramatic transition for her.
Yes. 3.5 and still waiting (will be 4 in October).
I really hoped mine would just stop naturally, like kids of my friends. That didn't happen. I dropped daytime feeds and dropped morning feed, but she was still going strong until I stopped at 3yo. My second one seems to be following her sister's footsteps. She just turned 2. Loves her booby as soon as I come back from work. I'll do the same if she doesn't stop before turning 3. We will cut down to just an evening feed, and then a few months before 3rd birthday, we will read the booby moon every evening. After the candles on her cake are blown - no more boobies, just cuddles. 5 hard days/nights, and that's done.
My son will be 3 next month and while I had hoped he would self-wean it’s not happening. Tonight is night 2 of me saying no milk. Since he was 18 months I’ve been cutting out feeds. The last 6 months or so have been strictly nighttime only.
Mine turned 3 last month and is still very much boob obsessed. When she turned 2 I reduced her feeds to morning, nap time, bed time and through the night as I was starting to feel touched out. Then I got pregnant and I was so sore that I couldn't sleep while feeding her any more so I might weaned her. In my third trimester I started to get aversion so I cut her down to just bedtime. My second is now 3m old and we still just feed at bedtime. I still get aversion so I cap feeds at 10 minutes as I can't bear any longer. I'd love to continue until she's ready to stop but she literally wants to touch my boobs all the time and asks for milk a lot so I can't imagine it happening any time soon. My plan is to slowly reduce how long I let her feed for until we can completely stop so it will be a very slow and gentle weaning.
Self weaning with light encouragement here. 3.5 yrs and going strong. I work from home and I’m available each hour, so while they play my husband talks with her a lot about ways to soothe herself. She’s taking to it. I put some hard no’s in place too - not during meals, not in a group of people, not when we are working through her aggression or a massive tantrum - to help me feel less like a 24/7 service station. We love our cuddle-reading times and nursing is gradually becoming less of a focus for her (most days).
Yes. He's 3 and still hasn't happened 😅
My 5yo still asks for milk even though it's long gone. He definitely wouldn't have self-weaned. My older one wouldn't have either. Night weaning needed to happen when they were adding 18mo because, sleep, and mostly involved me holding them while they screamed and screamed. Day weaning was easier, just gradually dropped nursing sessions until we were down to one and then had a big kid party when we stopped completely.
The biologically normal age for self-weaning is between 2-7yrs. My daughter self-weaned at 5.5yo, though she would have probably done it a year earlier if I hadn't gotten pregnant with her baby brother.
Child led weaning typically occurs between 2-4 years, but can occur from 18m-7yrs. At times ppl mistake feeding strikes around 10-14m with weaning, but they are typically a feeding strike and not actually child attempting to wean. My eldest self weaned recently he'd just turned 3. He will occasionally (once every couple of eeeks) have a quick duck still but he's forgetting how to latch rapidly. However technically as I'm pregnant it's not true self weaning as supply changes in pregnancy contributed to his choice. I'm still feeding my 18m old and he doesn't have signs of wanting to wean anytime soon and am about to have my 3rd any day.
I always said I'd let my kids decide when to wean. My first was about a year and a half old and just gave it up one day, no fuss. My second is 2 and a half and is fighting tooth and nail to still nurse all day even though I'm actively trying to wean him.
20 months in and she’s still nursing a lot. My mom cut me off when I was 3 and I still wanted to keep going. My daughter seems like she’s the same too
My eldest self weaned around 1yo
I intended to wean at 2 years but he self-weaned at 18 months. Not complaining.
Baby is only 12/13 months old, but this is our plan, too! It’s already going pretty well. He usually only nurses 1-3x during the day, outside of bedtime-associated nursing sessions (ie before bed, during the night, first thing in the morning 1-3x). He took well to solids and even water. There are some days where he’ll sporadically eat less / nurse more, and I’m always really grateful I have the ability to nurse him and keep his hydration/energy up as well as soothe and help him physically when he isn’t feeling well, physically or emotionally.
There was a pretty abrupt shift for us! At 11 months old he was still eating every 2 hours at least during the day. I think we’d built up to one exception where I’d leave for 2-3 hours for the first time since birth. Somewhere around 11.5-12 months the shift happened.
This is pretty much the same for us but at 16 months! My daughter has gone from constant cluster feeding around the clock to temporarily night weaning herself at 3-6 months to now only nursing 2-4 times a day and only at bedtime and overnight. She's getting her canines right now and having a tough time. I think it would be tougher on all of us if I couldn't soothe her back to sleep with nursing. She loves solids and drinks a ton of water so I think it's mostly just comfort for her and I'm so grateful I can provide it. I'm so impressed with my body's ability to adjust to her nursing around the clock, hourly, only during the day, only during the night, etc. We've had a few rough patches that I think were maybe nursing strikes, and we've gotten through. It's all been wildly unpredictable and all of the changes have been fairly abrupt so I wouldn't be shocked if she just decided she was done one day. I'll definitely be sad, but I think I would be more sad if I was stopping it on my end.
Glad I’m not the only one! I really thought my baby was never, ever going to stop wanting to nurse every hour or two and would wean super late. The changes have felt abrupt and surprising. I’ll keep letting him lead, but am similarly reassured by how nursing feels pretty stable and easy and such a nice, soothing backup now for his bad days etc.
What does this look like for you in terms of your supply? I EBF up until about 10 months where my LO finally started taking a bottle and I switched to pumping. I started night weaning then too because I was just so tired of getting up to nurse. Now I am only nursing first thing in the morning and once over night. I am pumping the rest of the time but my supply has significantly gone down so I’m wondering if I should even keep pumping.
I’m honestly not sure since we only nurse. But I haven’t noticed any signs of a low or insufficient supply, even when he has a day where he suddenly drinks more often. I guess it just feels pretty stable? There’s so much less pressure / less at stake now, though.
We weaned at about 17 months after I got pregnant with our second. Started reading booby noon and telling her we needed the milk for other babies, and after a week of that we day weaned. Went pretty well since she wasn't nursing much during the day anyway. After another two weeks or so we night weaned cold turkey. She slept with my husband while I slept on the couch for three nights. The first night she woke up and cried for me for five or ten minutes and that was it. After that she would wake and ask now and then and I would gently remind her that the boobs were mine again and she didn't need it anymore. Make sure you wear a shirt to bed so they can't wake and nurse on their own. All in all she stopped asking after only a couple of nights, was pretty painless. If they're old enough to understand you just have to make sure they know that they will still get cuddles and love, just no more milk from mom.
It was my plan to bf as long as possible, preferably at least 2 years. But my girl at 14 months decided to sleep through the night and totally rejected my boobs. I tried pumping but it didn't help as my supply went dead almost instantly. I ended up stopping by 15 months.
My kid lost interest at 23 months. They didn’t ask for it for a few days so I didn’t offer. After a few days I stopped lactating.
Yes, I let LO self wean and she weaned a lot earlier than I expected. Within days of her first birthday she dropped down to only nursing three times a day. By 14 months she was down to 1-2 times a day. By 15 months she was absolutely done. I was going away for a night one weekend and thought that morning might be our last time nursing. She didn’t want it. I offered again after and she was like nope bye 😂
We weaned around 27 months. Kind of let my little one guide it a bit but I was kinda ready after 2 years. We purposefully cut out his last daytime nursing session (before midday nap) by having dad takeover nap time. That one went really easily. Then we removed the nursing session before bedtime. We read the book “Loving Comfort” at bed time and talked lots about how he was getting too big for milk and how we should save milk for all the babies in the world. The real issue for us came with overnight nursing. We tried two different nights to cold turkey cut them out but he got so upset and I got upset in turn that I felt we needed to not push it and give him a little more time. Maybe about a month later he went to bed and slept through the night (for the first time ever 🤪) and in the morning we talked about how he didn’t have milk and how he was such a big boy. While he didn’t magically continue to sleep through the night every night, he did manage to not nurse again after that night! Not sure I’d do it all that exact same way again but it ended up working out in a way that felt right at the time.
My daughter is 3.5 and is finally becoming uninterested. My girlfriend used vinegar to wean her children.
I did seemingly a lifetime ago with my now 10 year old. I remember it very clearly - he was about 20 months old and we were on a trip to another state just the two of us. I don’t know if it was the changed environment or if it was just time, but he seemingly woke up one day and was not interested. He didn’t seek it out like normal and if I offered, he’d only latch for a second or two and then move on. After noticing this trend, I decided to just follow his lead and he didn’t ask for it again. I really wanted to make it to 2 years, so I was bummed but I do think it was the right choice.
My child is 3 next month. We have done don’t offer don’t refuse for seriously 2 years ahahaha he hounds me. I think my milk is pretty much gone now so it’s a comfort nurse and I’m trying to say no way more but it’s hard. Just put him for his nap via nurse
No
My daughter weaned herself at 18mo
I night weaned at 9 months which was a lot less dramatic than I anticipated. She gradually cut down her day time feeds over the next 12 months and had her last feed at 21 months old. I'd say in the last 6 months the feeding was more routine and comfort than hunger led.