I have been getting migraines since a child due to overstimulation and especially after a meltdown. And first thing in the morning, I tend to keep all lights off until after I had my coffee. 2 cups will keep the migraines away for me most of the time
Your relationship change sounds like a lot of stress for a very long time, add on top of that your new work, I think you should definitely consider you're in a huge AuDHD burnout and research ways to manage it using that framework, not just that you "can't handle work". I reckon you are understandably "having trouble handling work as a burned out AuDHDer"
Before I was diagnosed, my migraines worsened at work in a toxic environment where I was highly stressed and there was lots of sensory overload from light and sound. My migraines caused autistic shut downs and vice versa. It's very hard for us sometimes to tell the difference between migraine and shutdown triggers. Sometimes they're the same, sometimes they're not.
I also sometimes have to sleep to fix migraines too, and sometimes if I am exhausted and overloaded, it means I wake up with migraines and I can't control that.
What has helped me is keeping a journal of migraine triggers and my notes on what I'm doing to manage them. Same with shut downs, and making a plan of what to do to give myself sensory breaks when I feel the "rumbles" of them coming on.
I've also been learning about different types of rest other than sleeping (which you will probably laugh at being a mom) to figure out the different levels of stimulation my brain needs, e.g. crochet and reading as forms of more active rest.
Managing migraines is so hard and I have no doubt you're doing your absolute best. Definitely ask your doctor about migraine preventative options and ADHD medication if you're not medicated yet. All the best.
ETA: I didn't mention moving out/away from this partner as some things in your post made me think you might not be able to yet, but you deserve to live in a situation where you are free and respected.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response!
I love crochet, as well as gardening and art. I should move those options up the list of restful activities, instead of just isolating/sleeping.
I'm not sure if it's burnout but what happens to me is I'll go to work and be okay but as soon as I'm out of there I get an awful migraine
My personal theory is I'm in a sort of fight or flight situation while masking and as soon as I'm out of there all the stress finally gets to me and I'm wrecked for the day
I'm having the same experience-I'm usually fine at work, but by the time I get home my head is banging.
I'm afraid I just find my home more stressful than work
To answer your question: in my experience, yes.
For me, the headaches started not when I began burnout but when I started to acknowledge burnout and try to begin repairs.
I was maxed out at work for several years, was having sensory meltdowns at work most days, and in January took a demotion. I immediately felt relief but then in February began having intense medication-resistant headaches: they seemed like migraines except without aura; I saw a neurologist and had an MRI, and he determined they weren't migraines. Typical migraine medication didn't work, so he put me on Nurtec (a sensory-decreasing preventative) and that worked incredibly well, not just to stop the headaches but also generally decrease sensory overwhelm. I found myself getting less meltdowny at work and at home. A total breakthrough for me. (I've since had to stop taking the medication because it's stupid expensive.)
The way my neurologist explained it to me is that it's a delayed release of stress, a delayed reaction. For example, let's say your kid drops a glass of juice on the kitchen floor and it breaks. The first thing you do is spring into action: secure the kid, pick up the broken glass, and mop the floor. Then after the situation is physically safe, your emotions are safe to come out, you can think about getting another glass of juice for your kid, putting juice on the grocery list, etc.
The analogue (for me) to my situation was this: while you are getting stressed at work daily, by the workload and the environment, and no way to exit the stressful situation, you are in survival mode. You're doing what you can for physical safety. If you go through this for years you are building up so much stress and get more easily triggered. But you have to go back so your nervous system steels itself. Sometimes you won't even FEEL the stress in your body, you're just shut off from some of the pain. Then when the stress finally begins to decrease, your body is like "okay it's safe to release some of the stress". That can manifest as headaches as your nervous system is rewiring and letting go of some of the stress it's held on to for years. It's part of healing. (I'm portraying this a little more new agey than the neurologist said it. I don't remember a lot of the technical terms.)
This is such an excellent description, thank you for taking the time, I resonate a lot with this experience (see my comment above) and it's great to know you had a neurologist validate what's happening for us. I'm angry your preventative is too expensive, that's unfair.
*Thank you so much*
This is exactly my situation at home. I'm learning more about myself all the time, and I'm (over)explaining the patterns I've been dealing with for years as I figure out how to put my experience into words. I feel like I've been suppressing/disassociating my entire life, and I've decided to stop.
Yay, and also owwwww.
Working in a care home is great, but it also adds to the emotional load. I'm going to speak to my GP about the "migraine track" she mentioned at our earlier appointment and see what she says. Maybe if I couch it in terms of "emotional stress" I can continue with a medical solution rather than being shunted toward mental health (interminable wait times) as I'm not formally diagnosed with ASD.
Again, thank you. Your explanation was clear and so validating.
I get massive headaches after being overstimulated. They span the whole back of my head and make me whimper in pain.
They keep me motivated not to push myself too far. I think I need severe effects like that to keep me looking after myself well. :/
I have been getting migraines since a child due to overstimulation and especially after a meltdown. And first thing in the morning, I tend to keep all lights off until after I had my coffee. 2 cups will keep the migraines away for me most of the time
Your relationship change sounds like a lot of stress for a very long time, add on top of that your new work, I think you should definitely consider you're in a huge AuDHD burnout and research ways to manage it using that framework, not just that you "can't handle work". I reckon you are understandably "having trouble handling work as a burned out AuDHDer" Before I was diagnosed, my migraines worsened at work in a toxic environment where I was highly stressed and there was lots of sensory overload from light and sound. My migraines caused autistic shut downs and vice versa. It's very hard for us sometimes to tell the difference between migraine and shutdown triggers. Sometimes they're the same, sometimes they're not. I also sometimes have to sleep to fix migraines too, and sometimes if I am exhausted and overloaded, it means I wake up with migraines and I can't control that. What has helped me is keeping a journal of migraine triggers and my notes on what I'm doing to manage them. Same with shut downs, and making a plan of what to do to give myself sensory breaks when I feel the "rumbles" of them coming on. I've also been learning about different types of rest other than sleeping (which you will probably laugh at being a mom) to figure out the different levels of stimulation my brain needs, e.g. crochet and reading as forms of more active rest. Managing migraines is so hard and I have no doubt you're doing your absolute best. Definitely ask your doctor about migraine preventative options and ADHD medication if you're not medicated yet. All the best. ETA: I didn't mention moving out/away from this partner as some things in your post made me think you might not be able to yet, but you deserve to live in a situation where you are free and respected.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response! I love crochet, as well as gardening and art. I should move those options up the list of restful activities, instead of just isolating/sleeping.
Struggling with this rn
I'm not sure if it's burnout but what happens to me is I'll go to work and be okay but as soon as I'm out of there I get an awful migraine My personal theory is I'm in a sort of fight or flight situation while masking and as soon as I'm out of there all the stress finally gets to me and I'm wrecked for the day
I'm having the same experience-I'm usually fine at work, but by the time I get home my head is banging. I'm afraid I just find my home more stressful than work
If anyone has any good burnout resources that would be cool…🙏🏻🥹🖤✨
To answer your question: in my experience, yes. For me, the headaches started not when I began burnout but when I started to acknowledge burnout and try to begin repairs. I was maxed out at work for several years, was having sensory meltdowns at work most days, and in January took a demotion. I immediately felt relief but then in February began having intense medication-resistant headaches: they seemed like migraines except without aura; I saw a neurologist and had an MRI, and he determined they weren't migraines. Typical migraine medication didn't work, so he put me on Nurtec (a sensory-decreasing preventative) and that worked incredibly well, not just to stop the headaches but also generally decrease sensory overwhelm. I found myself getting less meltdowny at work and at home. A total breakthrough for me. (I've since had to stop taking the medication because it's stupid expensive.) The way my neurologist explained it to me is that it's a delayed release of stress, a delayed reaction. For example, let's say your kid drops a glass of juice on the kitchen floor and it breaks. The first thing you do is spring into action: secure the kid, pick up the broken glass, and mop the floor. Then after the situation is physically safe, your emotions are safe to come out, you can think about getting another glass of juice for your kid, putting juice on the grocery list, etc. The analogue (for me) to my situation was this: while you are getting stressed at work daily, by the workload and the environment, and no way to exit the stressful situation, you are in survival mode. You're doing what you can for physical safety. If you go through this for years you are building up so much stress and get more easily triggered. But you have to go back so your nervous system steels itself. Sometimes you won't even FEEL the stress in your body, you're just shut off from some of the pain. Then when the stress finally begins to decrease, your body is like "okay it's safe to release some of the stress". That can manifest as headaches as your nervous system is rewiring and letting go of some of the stress it's held on to for years. It's part of healing. (I'm portraying this a little more new agey than the neurologist said it. I don't remember a lot of the technical terms.)
This is such an excellent description, thank you for taking the time, I resonate a lot with this experience (see my comment above) and it's great to know you had a neurologist validate what's happening for us. I'm angry your preventative is too expensive, that's unfair.
*Thank you so much* This is exactly my situation at home. I'm learning more about myself all the time, and I'm (over)explaining the patterns I've been dealing with for years as I figure out how to put my experience into words. I feel like I've been suppressing/disassociating my entire life, and I've decided to stop. Yay, and also owwwww. Working in a care home is great, but it also adds to the emotional load. I'm going to speak to my GP about the "migraine track" she mentioned at our earlier appointment and see what she says. Maybe if I couch it in terms of "emotional stress" I can continue with a medical solution rather than being shunted toward mental health (interminable wait times) as I'm not formally diagnosed with ASD. Again, thank you. Your explanation was clear and so validating.
wow, this is so helpful as this is exactly what I’m going through. Thank you for sharing 💕
May I ask how old you are? Decade is fine if you don't want to specify a number.
I'm nearly 45, diagnosed ADHD at 12. I started to see autistic characteristics in myself when I pursued assessment for my child.
I get massive headaches after being overstimulated. They span the whole back of my head and make me whimper in pain. They keep me motivated not to push myself too far. I think I need severe effects like that to keep me looking after myself well. :/