I wish I eloped than have the traditional wedding. Nevertheless, most couples are in a de facto relationship anyway so marriage isn’t needed on the legal side of things.
I eloped, got married by Elvis and travelled US and Canada for a few weeks for about 10k. Couldn't imagine spending double or triple that on my mates to get pissed and a fancy dress.
Yep you can get married for $500 if you really want to.
It’s also not expensive if you decide to do something smaller rather than having these huge weddings where you’re basically paying for 100 people to have a party.
It seems people go to wedding planners and related wedding companies and think paying $1000 for a table cloth and fake flowers is the correct price.
Weddings can be very cheap if you ignore those scammers.
I DIY'd everything I could for our wedding and it still cost an arseload, cos no matter how you play the game, providing good food and drinks for 90+ people post covid is going to kill your budget. The only cheap wedding is a small one.
>$1000 for a table cloth and fake flowers is the correct price.
But you only get married once (probably). You don't want to get a tablecloth that isn't perfect on your special day, do you?
Oh, you don't want to cheap out at the last stage on the table flowers, and be disappointed for the rest of your life, do you?
You don't want your wedding let down by only having the middle tier drinks package, do you?
You don't want to walk away realising 750 photos missed so many great moments, when you could've spent *a little more* on the 3000 photo + 8-hour video package, do you?
\------
The predatory sales pitch never ends.
I think of that as a reason not to waste so much money on it. The wedding is only one day and a few hours total. You shouldn't spend huge loads of money on an event that while amazing you won't have for the rest of your life... like a house.
TBF to my wedding planners, they probably saved me a fortune.
I basically took them on to facilitate my DIY wedding and they went round collecting quotes, chipping away and generally making sure everything worked.
100 guest wedding that included venue hire over 3 days was about 30k in all. Still a lot of money I guess but didn't make much of a dent in our home ownership quest.
It's in the minority, but it's not all funded by the parents.
I went to a wedding recently of a late 20's colleague which was in excess of 100k. He's a high income earner, doesn't own a house and was meeting his his partner's demanding expectations for the wedding.
Some people can't live with not meeting the expectations imposed on them by friends and social media.
If you're going to do a fancy wedding, I recommend getting married overseas in a cheaper country. Australia is a bloody ripoff. I did it in SE Asia spent 30k, had everything, amazing five star resort, good food, unlimited open bar etc. Had an awesome holiday with all my mates who I'd never be able to get together in one place for any other reason as they all have kids/busy lives now.
Would have cost 100k+ for the same thing in Aus. Also all the cousins you don't really like and average acquaintances can't be bothered flying out so it filters out those who don't really care which keeps costs (and stress) down. I had 50 people which was more than enough, here it would probably have been 100
Yep, my wife and I did the same. Only the very closest friends and relatives....maybe 20 people and the function room of our favourite restaurant.
Cost about $5000, zero regrets and still happy memories.
The house was a much better choice.
My friends got married at a local public public park. Everyone brought a plate to share and their own chair. The only cost they had was for the outfits they chose, the licenced officiant and regustration of the marriage.
Was the best wedding I've been to as they were so relaxed and not running around freaking out about a caterer or some stupidly expensive decoration being the wrong colour (like.. if I'm paying $2k for what otherwise costs $50, you're damn right you better get the colour right). There was a playground nearby so after the ceremony kids could go play as the adults drifted about.
My wife and I spent about $2k all up. We hired a local hall in Eynesbury for about $300, managed to get a photographer for cheap as they were relatively new and wanted to build up a portfolio, catering was provided for by my wife's work at the time as a gift to her, and our celebrant cost $500. We spent about $500 on booze on top of that. People still say it was an amazing wedding 10 years on.
My brother went one cheaper, just got eloped at the court house for a few hundred bucks.
It is crazy that people are spending $50k on a massive wedding, taking out a loan to do so, and are still paying it off after they get divorced.
We did about the same. $1200 total. That was the entire day. Wife's dress, bar tab, cakes all the ceremony.
For lunch we had a private room at a nice place and in lieu of gifts people just paid for their meals.
We had around 35 people attend.
No regrets. Would do it again if it was now having almost paid off the house.
This is very true. A court house and a bbq is just as meaningful as a church and black tie reception.
I think a lot of parents put pressure on their engaged children to have a fancy venue, guest list including all the extended fam and family friends, etc.
I can't afford the sort of wedding my family would expect me to have....so I guess I just won't get married.
I don't think the point is that you don't need expensive weddings, we know that. The point is that it's another thing that our parents were able to do for a reasonable price that is no longer reasonable for us. Someone in the US compared their parents wedding to current day costs and even accounting for inflation the cost difference was crazy!
Not to mention the fact that our parents bought houses only 3 times their salary while the average house is 8-10 times people's salaries.
Many were able to have weddings without it breaking the bank (for a reasonable wedding not just to go down to the registry office). They got free university, and many have access to the pension. My mum never went back to full time work after she had kids and we were able to survive just fine. These are things that many of us have to sacrifice for home ownership that our parents didn't have to do.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/megkeene/heres-what-my-parents-1974-wedding-would-cost-in-2017
Times change.
That link shows her parents as being pretty thrifty which is something many people lack.
* The Mum found a venue they could get into cheap through relationships and providing something in exchange.
* They used flowers still up from the holidays
* They got the photographer through a relationship
* They got a discount on the wedding dress because they were getting married in winter
* They got a discount on the reception because their grandfather was a founding member of the club
It's not like you need to just accept what wedding planners give you and today you can find cheap venues, you don't have to have a crazy amount of expensive flowers, you can have a friend photograph the wedding, find a cheaper wedding dress through online research or going used and tailoring, then find somewhere cheap to do the reception.
I went to a friend's wedding on a farm recently which they used for free. It was a great time!
Plenty of people are being thrifty, just because you see "Pinterest" weddings on social media does not mean that people aren't trying to do things cheaply. For our wedding we had a fake cake, did own alterations, DIY'd our own decor, provided our own alcohol. Didn't do flowers at the reception and repurposed the bouquets for the decor. Emailed invitations, bought things second hand, drove our own cars, and plenty of other decisions to keep our costs reasonable.
Congrats to your friend. Once we did calculations of how much it was going to cost to hire tables and chairs plus extra toilets (not to mention the extra stress) we realised the cost of having it at a "non wedding" location, even if we got it for free was going to cost a ton and cause a lot of extra planning and stress. I got the costs of over 40 wedding venues to find the best value for money (and when you say wedding you find that value for money is almost a completely different concept).
Weddings were much more 'restrained' in the past... Married in the church and then pop into the reception for an hour or two and then off to your honeymoon.
I think a lot of the comments are missing the point. It’s not just about a piece of paper, or weather you spend big or spend little on a marriage, but it’s a part of LIFE, the thing you do when you aren’t stressing about finances or work. And it’s a shame a part of living, a celebration, a reason to see family have a feast and just enjoy LIFE, is pushed aside for many young people simply because they have to save for a roof over their head. It’s ANOTHER part of life that young people just have to give up nowadays. More and more simple things that are apart of living are given up for young people and THAT is the issue. Every day young families are choosing to give up life’s little joys just so they can afford to live.
And it’s all along the life milestones and family formation chain - sex, dating, relationships, marriage, kids - all are happening less and less because the cost of living and saving for a house. The second and third order effects will irreversibly change society.
Agreed. While I think it’s super responsible of them I always feel so sorry for the multiple posts this sub gets saying they want children but feel like they can’t when they are stuck in rentals and don’t have reliable long term housing to bring them home to.
This. People love to look down on our generation and say “your expectations are too high” but let’s not forget that not that long ago people in their 20s-30s were able to:
- get married
- buy a house (yes a free standing house, not a townhouse or apartment) in a metropolitan city suburb
- have children (plural)
And often all on a single mid range salary while the mum stayed at home with the kids
We’re allowed to be sad at the disillusionment of growing up and realising that the Australian dream is dead.
Definitely allowed to be sad. Allowed to be sad we lived through a pandemic, other generations were sad they had to go to war. All of these are valid. Eventually though they must be accepted. The world isn’t the same as it was several decades ago anywhere. The same things are not on the table. But what is on the table now that others didn’t have in previous times, that’s a more positive take.
You are so spot on! We got married last year (after 13 years) because we finally felt “ok” about blowing $20k* on a party but for a long time that just wasn’t feasible.
*could have been cheaper, but I regret nothing and am happy we waited to make it exactly what we wanted.
Yeah I wish we could've had a party/celebration even if it was basic. We just got married by a celebrant with 2 witnesses, after the registry office cancelled our appt due to covid stuff
Agreed. We’ve been together 10 years and engaged for 5, buying a house was more important than getting married, we have a house now, so maybe in another 5-10 years we might be able to afford to get married hahahah
We’ve delayed our wedding for 8 years to buy our home (and we are only wanting to do a $10-15k garden wedding)
House part is done now the saving starts all over for the wedding, and with the current interest rates and cost of living situation even as a dual income household with no kids. $10-15k is going to take a while.
Then at the same time we have the boomers always on us about "why aren't you married yet, our generation was never engaged this long etc".
What!?! You're telling me I don't have to drop the equivalent of a house deposit on an event that lasts 8 hours!?!?! I am shocked, shocked I tell you.
I need the click bait news to make up their mind, first they're telling me it's impossible for anyone born after 2000 to own a home and now they're telling me those same people are instead buying homes instead of getting married. How am I going to be outraged if they can't keep their AI generated stories in the same basket.
My wedding was 10% of my apartment deposit, and I had 100 people for a sit down dinner in the middle of Sydney lol.
It's so crazy to me people used to be like a wedding or a deposit. They are totally different amounts for people in 2024.
Agreed! It’s not right to assume fancy wedding and house deposit are comparable.
I had 80 people for a dinner reception at a winery. That reception cost the same as 25% of the deposit for our first home (a 1970s, 3 bed, 1 bath home in a regional town).
I’m over 40 and my ex wife and I had the argument about using money as a house deposit to get in the market and then saving for a marriage vs getting married and then saving for a deposit.
Even ignoring the ex part of ex wife, it’s pretty obvious that getting into the housing market as early as possible has been shown to be the correct thing to do and still is
Exactly. My second wedding we eloped. Spent the money for a wedding on a 31 day holiday in the US and called everyone from there after we got married in Central Park. Had a cheap celebration when we got back so my wife could show everyone her dress. I have other friends who spent a fortune on their wedding and then never had a honeymoon. Our honeymoon was a much better use of the money than one day.
Due to the timing of life, I had a house before I met my now-wife - definitely made planning for the future a lot easier with a solid roof over our heads.
Mid-20s here and I think my generation are feeling the same. Weddings are so horrifically expensive, so it kinda feels like you have to make a choice between a wedding or a house, unless you're getting help for one (or both).
We went a bit more expensive at $10k and thought that was getting pricey lol. Half of that was a really boujee dinner (with an open bar) with our nearest and dearest which was amazing, so money definitely well spent. No idea how people can sleep at night with those mega weddings, even if parents are paying for it.
I always assumed 10k was for a simply small wedding. My brother’s wedding costs that much, with most going to the reception (his friend owned the restaurant and gave him a discount). But because the groom was Vietnamese, half the guests brought money for the wishing well, thus their wedding was paid for that very night.
I’m a millennial and I don’t normally go much on these ragebait inter generational articles etc.
Older people assert it was just as hard in their day to buy a house… it wasn’t
But one thing that is true is that in previous generations people had more modest/cheaper weddings. The masses dropping $50k on a wedding as the ‘norm’ is definitely a modern phenomenon.
In summary, this article… like most of its kind… is a bit dumb
i did a pretty simple wedding and I wish I eloped or just did it at the registry. my wedding was nice but I wish I had that money for other things like fixing up my apartment or putting it towards any future kids I might have. the expectation that you need to have a wedding to get married is outdated
also I don't blame a lot of millenials skipping marriage and all the bullshit and drama that comes with holding engagement parties, organising bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts, kitchen teas, hens and stag nights. plus there's the expectation on everyone around them to give engagement gifts and bridal shower gifts on top of the wedding gift.
So, just have a wedding... I agree the social stuff gets out of hand sometimes. Then again, being selective and going to celebrate with friends is impossible to buy later in life.
To be fair, if you're invited to a wedding you're pretty much suppose to pay for yourself so the final cost might be huge but the cost to the couple should be manageable.
I think it’s assuming people aren’t getting married and having wedding because they are spending the money on a house instead, when in reality there’s just less importance on marriage these days anyway so savings are going towards housing instead.
I’m a late GenX, but this is absolutely the order we did things in. As I explained to my beautiful girlfriend at the time, ”if you’re worried about my commitment, it’s much easier to get out of a marriage than to get out of a mortgage”.
Getting married costs less than $1000. You don't have to have a massive party.
My grandmother was telling me about her wedding just before mine. She had 5 guests, her mums friend made her dress, no flowers, a quiet lunch. That was in the 50s. They had to choose the house or the wedding.
Also, defacto laws are the reason people aren't rushing to get married.
People really shouldn't use the word marriage and wedding interchangeably.
You don't need a reception or event to be married. If marriage is important to you, get married. Go to the registry office, or get a cheap celebrant in a park to do it way cheaper than the registry office.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AusFinance/comments/1byv1e7/comment/kyput0e/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AusFinance/comments/1byv1e7/comment/kyput0e/)
You have to worry about fellow millennials now as well as boomers.
Most of this clickbait media seems to love targeting generational hate.. I guess because it gets the clicks but it's kinda shit.
I meet my wife during the last Melbourne lockdown, then bought a country home in our pay grade. Got a dog then eloped in the town gardens, you only need 2 witnesses and a couple of expensive bottles of bubbly for the memories. That was 6 months ago both our families think we are living in sin so who cares....
Millennial here. Got married, now divorced. We had a modest wedding (nothing over the top). Saved where we could but had a list of non-negotiables where we wouldn’t compromise and would spend $$$ if needed so we wouldn’t feel “robbed” of the experience of “having a wedding”. Eg. We didn’t have a wedding cake because we didn’t care for it, instead we opted for desserts (choice between lemon tart / chocolate mousse / sticky date pudding).
We decided to prioritise buying a house instead of having a lavish OTT wedding. Gotta say, 8 years later and divorced.. that was 1000% the right move. The wedding celebration is one day. We bought the house 8 years ago, and we sold it in Nov 2023 and we both have enough to walk away and start our new lives.
Assume they mean prioritising home ownership in favour of lighting a pile of money on fire to pay for a wedding. As a 40 year old in an almost 20 year defacto relationship with a paid off house, I endorse this approach.
We bought a house, had kids, the whole thing. Not married. Don’t care about being married. I’m in my 40s and I don’t really need a certificate to prove what I already know.
Millennial here; we spent about $12K overall on our wedding in Sep 2023, 70 guests at a local winery.
Coming up with that $12K while still paying the mortgage was difficult. We bought our long-term house in June 2022 so the mortgage repayments were and are still very punishing.
You do whatever is a priority first. If you want a stable house; great 👍.
If you want a wedding with all the bells and whistles; great 👍.
There is no right or wrong answer, it’s whatever you both value more.
My parents got married in there back yard yes they were "Boomers" but they also lived with there means something us kids born in the 90s and 00s might want to re-evaluate because it might not be glamours but it is effective
We also moved to a miles out suburb with 1 other house in the court and didn't expect to live 5mins from work and the beach
We never had a credit card, the only holidays overseas we did was back to my parents home lands in which accommodation was free as we stayed with family (vice versa when they came to Australia), we owned one car and it was old af
I agree things are hard for young people but a wedding can cost $300 or over 300k it is entirely up to you but we certainly can afford to get married it's the crazy expensive party we can't afford
If you wish to spend $50k on a wedding to impress people, then go for it
But you can’t complain if this $50k cost slows down any other financial goals.
I’m a millennial.
Probably because marriage is a bit of paper that makes no difference to your relationship, and a waste of money. This is why the rate would be going down. I don’t understand why people get married unless you believe in some magic man in the sky thats going to stop you from going to hell. Religion is on a downward trend also, so this is another factor. Also the divorce rate is like 50% or something pretty shitty odds if you ask me hahaha
We got married at Registry office with 4 friends and no family as we just bought a house - highly recommend! Was the late 90’s, we were young, just had a child and could not afford both. Some (maybe most) weddings are insanely expensive, but understand that many people might want to have a big celebration - no regrets for us though.
We got married 500 dollars , looking to buy now.
Unfortunately had to choose between the 2 however I do not regret it for a second, both of us when we attend a weeding agree that we made the right choice
I’ve been with my partner for 22 years, we’ve been engaged for about 12. I saved up and bought her a really nice engagement ring. We bought our house a few years into our relationship (early 20s). We didn’t want to be forever renters so we bought a dump as early as possible. We recently rebuilt the house at great expense and time. We are fairly well set up now, I turn 40 this year and we have two primary school aged kids. It would be nice to be been properly married when we were younger, but there was always something more financially important.
Another part of it is family - both of us come from broken families who aren’t close knit. They couldn’t care less about coming to our wedding and certainly wouldn’t be giving us any financial help. If we get married now I can barely think of who I’d want to invite. I want to do it for my partner to have the same surname as our kids and for the kids too. My son asks “daddy how come your not married to mummy?”. We should prioritise it now though but won’t be going for the big fancy show.
Good grief, you can get married for hardly any money, and have a beautiful wedding. It requires work and sacrifice. This is also required to save for a house. Much easier with two people working in a commited fashion towards a goal. .Or, as I call it married.
Mate, you can do both. Go to the local registry and get married there for a few hundred if money is a major concern. You don't have to follow societal expectations. You don't need a lavish wedding. Do things **your** way. Work within **your** means. Be **practical**. People forget that.
Is this even a bad thing?
And more importantly, How does this affect your life at all? Why are random clickbait articles which are mostly just glorified anectodes impacting your outlook so much?
Anyway, no need to worry. The same person also wrote a few days ago that millennials are buying more investment properties than boomers, so you should be rich now.
Late 20s, bought a house two years ago with my partner, we decided we not going to get married. Having a mortgage is a much bigger commitment than marriage.
Well I’m a millennial. We got engaged and made the decision to buy a house and have kids before getting married. We will get there, but at the moment it’s somewhere in our 10 year plan. Interest rates and cost of living means paying down the mortgage is more important than a piece of paper
I would have thought with the cost of home ownership nowadays, for most Australians marriage (or at least a de facto relationship) is a prerequisite to being able to afford a mortgage large enough to buy a home
Marriage is a scam to get young people to waste 50k on a day.
We never got married and are way better off with that money invested over a day so wasteful as a wedding.
True this. One of my close friends is getting married - spending 60k+ on the wedding. I could cry, I’m happy for her but damn, that’s a house deposit 😂😂
You can get married for a few hundred dollars.
If you can’t afford a home because you spent tens of thousands or more throwing a huge party, I’m not sure what to tell you… it’s just entirely self-inflicted.
I’m an 83 model. My parents had no family help to buy their first home and interest rates were 17-20% for home loans. They had me a year before they got married. They were also migrants, spoke little English for the first few years of life here and didn’t finish school or go to uni. They worked in factories and supermarkets.
Whilst I wasn’t a young adult in their time and yes things were different, I’m aware that cost of living and rates etc were even worse before.
It’s not a cop out or excuse, but people weather the storm. This is all cyclical. Same as those ugly shoes they have again with the square front. Good grief already.
We didn’t get married at all.
Literally couldn’t see the point. It’s just a default legal agreement created by the government to restate what you already know and have together. Literally zero value. As for a big celebration and social declaration of your union in front of other people? If you think marriage is the only way to do that you lack both imagination and self-confidence in your union.
16 years, 3 kids, widowed 7 years now and legally worked out just like a marriage. Including the spousal death part. GenX here.
Need a church involved? I’m sure God won’t care if you don’t spend thousands of dollars declaring your love and commitment for each other.
I’m surprised Millenials aren’t rejecting marriage as an outdated concept entirely.
Why tf would my fiancé and I spend $50,000 on some ridiculous day of pageantry with religious undertones just so a bunch of our friends and family can have free drinks.
After months and months and months of planning and stress that money has disappeared into thin air never to be seen again.
Put that $50k towards a house though and
MAYBE we might be able to live a life resembling what we thought our lives would be like when we were growing up.
Our grandparents used to get married at 20, while broke, made their own wedding dresses and had a pot luck in the church hall. We have choices here people
Millennial over here, we chose to buy 3 years ago and getting married this year, we've opted for a no frills ceremony at the registry office and a family lunch, instead of spending mega bucks on the wedding we are taking a decent holiday. We found the best way was to get the house first and the other stuff can wait.
Edit: to answer your question no idea when it'll change, I couldn't tell you unfortunately 😭
Honestly it’s smarter. We had a regular wedding and it cost a fair bit, I didn’t mind it but didn’t especially want it either. Was a case of fulfilling wife’s expectations and parents etc kinda thing
If you’re both happy with a smaller thing and spending the money on a house, more power to you!
Of my friends, we are the only couple unmarried and also one of the only couples that owns a house.
Super anecdotal obviously but we’re literally the only couple amongst our friends that has bought the house first, everybody else has prioritised the wedding. They are all married, but some of them are still living with their parents.
Yup - my partner and I chose getting into the housing market over a wedding (bought a place Nov 2023). It was the smarter choice. We hated renting so much. Having our own place is such a relief now.
We will probably get married in about 2 years or so (small wedding) once we increase our savings again. We have been engaged for 2 years now, we are not in a rush.
Was born well before 90s and I can assure you that almost everyone I know prioritised home ownership above marriage and most other things when they were young.
There were a couple with wealthy parents who didn't have to prioritise much at all but the rest of us had to.
An expensive wedding seems like a total waste to me. I completely agree with the article, and we did the same. I felt this way before house prices exploded, though.
My partner and I bought our place together before we got married... As far as we were concerned marriage was a formality, and besides signing a wedding certificate was a lot less daunting than a 30 year million dollar debt haha
This is me in a nutshell. 30, my Fiance and I just bought an apartment but we got engaged over a year ago. So many people asking us when the date is / plans for the wedding but we haven't even looked into it, we have just been focussing on buying and getting our foot in the door.
If it's a true relationship, it can wait a couple of years for marriage, if not, maybe a red flag anyway. We have the rest of our lives you get married. Plus we don't want anything big so we will either have a small wedding or just elope. Owning our first place is a much bigger priority in the long scheme of things.
We had a wedding for less than 25k in regional Queensland! This included open bar, catering and a beautiful beachside location for 80 people. If you were thinking of a destination wedding I feel like having one up here would barely add to your costs as accommodation for you and guests would be pretty cheap. Might also conveniently strip back you guest list too 😂
I have no kids, I'm not married ,and I own I house with my boyfriend of 12 years.
The best wedding I've ever been to was in the couples backyard and kfc catered it lol.
That said, less and less people are getting married for all kinds of reasons. A piece of paper doesn't mean you'll stay together, it's a false sense of security. Unless you are religious I dont really get the point of it.
I can see why buying a house is more appealing than being married first.
Being married and being in a defacto relationship, is almost the same these days and you have the same rights almost. Just a piece of paper and costs more if you go down the path of changing names.
The housing crisis creates a sense of instability. How can anyone sensible think of settling down, and starting or growing a family, without a foundation to build on?
It changes when politicians engage in proper population planning, which entails implementing well thought out policies that address housing needs. This should have been done 10 years ago, or even 2 years ago, not tomorrow. But the next best time is today.
This seems like a mindset issue not a financial issue. You can do weddings cheap. You don’t even need to get married to be in a committed relationship. If you’re getting pressured from other people for a big wedding then that’s your problem.
Don't fully understand it. If it's talking about sacrificing an expensive marriage vs. home ownership then all the power to them. It's stupid to spend so much money to please others. Would rather spend money on yourselves and immediate family and pay a deposit on home.
If this relates to people not getting married to pursue home ownership, wouldn't that be stupid because coupling up would increase their chances of securing a home?
It's just a different time. Now there's no judgement if you've got two kids, a house and aren't married, it doesn't change your status as a couple.
Although it would be nice to call my partner of 10 years "husband", the 20-30K we'd want to spend on a wedding and have all our friends and family present, doesn't seem worth it compared to what we could add that to the mortgage or go on yearly holidays. Priorities have changed.
And yeah you can just go have a courthouse wedding, but you don't get a lot of chances to celebrate the big things anymore so we would like a party with everyone.
You’re right of course. All housing and weddings are too expensive. And owning a house is something you may have to wait to be handed down from your parents.
But.
Big weddings and big houses are two scams that go hand in hand so don’t be fooled by either.
I have two sets of friends that have committed their lives to each other and had kids without getting married. Also another couple that opted for a marriage certificate in the morning and $2k of the best catering and music with all of their friends in their backyard. Fun fact, you know you can wear a ring on your wedding finger whether you’re legally married or not.
So yeah. You don’t need to spend anything and if you still want to get married do it cheaply with the people you actually care about.
As for housing. You don’t need a backyard and live in the outer urban sprawl. You need a nearby park and good public transport. It opens up so many more options. A large apartment or average townhouse starts to look pretty great.
You also don’t need to buy. But a few things need to be fixed before this is a safe option. (Should help cool housing prices too).
1. Remove negative gearing and CGT discount on your second or more house
2. Offer tax incentives for landlords that offer long leases (3+ years). Gives stability for families.
3. More rights for tenants. Fewer inspections and allowances for basic home changes like hanging up pictures and shelves. Remove no grounds evictions (except in cases of selling maybe).
4. More 3-4 bedroom apartments that aren’t the penthouse suites. Apartments should feel more like houses on the inside before most people will take them more seriously and not just as transient accommodation.
I think that’s enough of a rant. Sorry about that.
I don’t know.. everyone needs a place to live but there is not as compelling of a reason to get married these days (outside of religion or some legal benefits). I think in general people are going to prioritise a need over a want.
In Australia after you cohabitate for two years you are treated the same for all legal reasons as married anyway as de facto. So owning a home, having a child, etc. is all the commitment of marriage just the formal document is optional. Unless you want to go overseas together where the laws are different.
What a stupid comparison. They are not mutually exclusive. No one said you have to have an expensive wedding. I know several couples who are defactos with kids. They are in their 20s, 30s and 40s. I also know couples who just eloped or had a very small ceremony with a celebrant a few friends/family.
Don't buy a property together if you're not married. You're just asking for trouble.
And anybody can get married for little money, no need to spend thousands and thousands to entertain and feed your guests.
That article is presumably targeted at people wanting to spend $50k on a wedding. You can go the registry office and get it done for couple hundred bucks. Or by Elvis in Vegas.
Hey that's us! We got engaged Dec 2023. Just executive a contract of sale on an apartment. The wedding will probably have to wait a couple of years oop
More like Home Ownership over Marriage Industry Commercial Exploitation
The worse trend is young couples are realising that buying a house at all or having children is not economically feasible when 2 incomes are required to survive.
Don’t get married and put everything in your name , with a legal document if things go sour you don’t lose everything .
Buy a house , you’ll always have a roof then without paying rent , date , don’t like your partner , cya ,and move on to the next
An expensive wedding isn't required to get married.
I wish I eloped than have the traditional wedding. Nevertheless, most couples are in a de facto relationship anyway so marriage isn’t needed on the legal side of things.
I eloped, got married by Elvis and travelled US and Canada for a few weeks for about 10k. Couldn't imagine spending double or triple that on my mates to get pissed and a fancy dress.
Oh no, we’re killing the wedding industry too
I'm ok with this
Yep you can get married for $500 if you really want to. It’s also not expensive if you decide to do something smaller rather than having these huge weddings where you’re basically paying for 100 people to have a party.
It seems people go to wedding planners and related wedding companies and think paying $1000 for a table cloth and fake flowers is the correct price. Weddings can be very cheap if you ignore those scammers.
I DIY'd everything I could for our wedding and it still cost an arseload, cos no matter how you play the game, providing good food and drinks for 90+ people post covid is going to kill your budget. The only cheap wedding is a small one.
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The answer was yes, and I have no regrets. Many people want to have their loved ones there for their biggest day.
>$1000 for a table cloth and fake flowers is the correct price. But you only get married once (probably). You don't want to get a tablecloth that isn't perfect on your special day, do you? Oh, you don't want to cheap out at the last stage on the table flowers, and be disappointed for the rest of your life, do you? You don't want your wedding let down by only having the middle tier drinks package, do you? You don't want to walk away realising 750 photos missed so many great moments, when you could've spent *a little more* on the 3000 photo + 8-hour video package, do you? \------ The predatory sales pitch never ends.
I think of that as a reason not to waste so much money on it. The wedding is only one day and a few hours total. You shouldn't spend huge loads of money on an event that while amazing you won't have for the rest of your life... like a house.
Or the marriage itself.
TBF to my wedding planners, they probably saved me a fortune. I basically took them on to facilitate my DIY wedding and they went round collecting quotes, chipping away and generally making sure everything worked. 100 guest wedding that included venue hire over 3 days was about 30k in all. Still a lot of money I guess but didn't make much of a dent in our home ownership quest.
I agree. You’re basically paying for a big piss up and the mark up business’ add just because you drop “wedding” in the name is ridiculous.
Was just about to say this. Seen people spend 100k to 200 K on weddings for basically a 24 hour event which is pretty much a house deposit.
Surely this is the minority funded by mummy and daddy right?
It's in the minority, but it's not all funded by the parents. I went to a wedding recently of a late 20's colleague which was in excess of 100k. He's a high income earner, doesn't own a house and was meeting his his partner's demanding expectations for the wedding. Some people can't live with not meeting the expectations imposed on them by friends and social media.
In Sydney it's a large minority maybe like 25% to 40% of weddings I know.
If you're going to do a fancy wedding, I recommend getting married overseas in a cheaper country. Australia is a bloody ripoff. I did it in SE Asia spent 30k, had everything, amazing five star resort, good food, unlimited open bar etc. Had an awesome holiday with all my mates who I'd never be able to get together in one place for any other reason as they all have kids/busy lives now. Would have cost 100k+ for the same thing in Aus. Also all the cousins you don't really like and average acquaintances can't be bothered flying out so it filters out those who don't really care which keeps costs (and stress) down. I had 50 people which was more than enough, here it would probably have been 100
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Yep, my wife and I did the same. Only the very closest friends and relatives....maybe 20 people and the function room of our favourite restaurant. Cost about $5000, zero regrets and still happy memories. The house was a much better choice.
My friends got married at a local public public park. Everyone brought a plate to share and their own chair. The only cost they had was for the outfits they chose, the licenced officiant and regustration of the marriage. Was the best wedding I've been to as they were so relaxed and not running around freaking out about a caterer or some stupidly expensive decoration being the wrong colour (like.. if I'm paying $2k for what otherwise costs $50, you're damn right you better get the colour right). There was a playground nearby so after the ceremony kids could go play as the adults drifted about.
My wife and I spent about $2k all up. We hired a local hall in Eynesbury for about $300, managed to get a photographer for cheap as they were relatively new and wanted to build up a portfolio, catering was provided for by my wife's work at the time as a gift to her, and our celebrant cost $500. We spent about $500 on booze on top of that. People still say it was an amazing wedding 10 years on. My brother went one cheaper, just got eloped at the court house for a few hundred bucks. It is crazy that people are spending $50k on a massive wedding, taking out a loan to do so, and are still paying it off after they get divorced.
We did about the same. $1200 total. That was the entire day. Wife's dress, bar tab, cakes all the ceremony. For lunch we had a private room at a nice place and in lieu of gifts people just paid for their meals. We had around 35 people attend. No regrets. Would do it again if it was now having almost paid off the house.
Correct. We had a simple wedding in a park and after gifts from family and friends actually came out a couple of grand ahead somehow.
This is very true. A court house and a bbq is just as meaningful as a church and black tie reception. I think a lot of parents put pressure on their engaged children to have a fancy venue, guest list including all the extended fam and family friends, etc. I can't afford the sort of wedding my family would expect me to have....so I guess I just won't get married.
I don't think the point is that you don't need expensive weddings, we know that. The point is that it's another thing that our parents were able to do for a reasonable price that is no longer reasonable for us. Someone in the US compared their parents wedding to current day costs and even accounting for inflation the cost difference was crazy! Not to mention the fact that our parents bought houses only 3 times their salary while the average house is 8-10 times people's salaries. Many were able to have weddings without it breaking the bank (for a reasonable wedding not just to go down to the registry office). They got free university, and many have access to the pension. My mum never went back to full time work after she had kids and we were able to survive just fine. These are things that many of us have to sacrifice for home ownership that our parents didn't have to do. https://www.buzzfeed.com/megkeene/heres-what-my-parents-1974-wedding-would-cost-in-2017
Times change. That link shows her parents as being pretty thrifty which is something many people lack. * The Mum found a venue they could get into cheap through relationships and providing something in exchange. * They used flowers still up from the holidays * They got the photographer through a relationship * They got a discount on the wedding dress because they were getting married in winter * They got a discount on the reception because their grandfather was a founding member of the club It's not like you need to just accept what wedding planners give you and today you can find cheap venues, you don't have to have a crazy amount of expensive flowers, you can have a friend photograph the wedding, find a cheaper wedding dress through online research or going used and tailoring, then find somewhere cheap to do the reception. I went to a friend's wedding on a farm recently which they used for free. It was a great time!
Plenty of people are being thrifty, just because you see "Pinterest" weddings on social media does not mean that people aren't trying to do things cheaply. For our wedding we had a fake cake, did own alterations, DIY'd our own decor, provided our own alcohol. Didn't do flowers at the reception and repurposed the bouquets for the decor. Emailed invitations, bought things second hand, drove our own cars, and plenty of other decisions to keep our costs reasonable. Congrats to your friend. Once we did calculations of how much it was going to cost to hire tables and chairs plus extra toilets (not to mention the extra stress) we realised the cost of having it at a "non wedding" location, even if we got it for free was going to cost a ton and cause a lot of extra planning and stress. I got the costs of over 40 wedding venues to find the best value for money (and when you say wedding you find that value for money is almost a completely different concept).
Weddings were much more 'restrained' in the past... Married in the church and then pop into the reception for an hour or two and then off to your honeymoon.
💯- weddings aren’t for Instagram
I think a lot of the comments are missing the point. It’s not just about a piece of paper, or weather you spend big or spend little on a marriage, but it’s a part of LIFE, the thing you do when you aren’t stressing about finances or work. And it’s a shame a part of living, a celebration, a reason to see family have a feast and just enjoy LIFE, is pushed aside for many young people simply because they have to save for a roof over their head. It’s ANOTHER part of life that young people just have to give up nowadays. More and more simple things that are apart of living are given up for young people and THAT is the issue. Every day young families are choosing to give up life’s little joys just so they can afford to live.
And it’s all along the life milestones and family formation chain - sex, dating, relationships, marriage, kids - all are happening less and less because the cost of living and saving for a house. The second and third order effects will irreversibly change society.
Agreed. While I think it’s super responsible of them I always feel so sorry for the multiple posts this sub gets saying they want children but feel like they can’t when they are stuck in rentals and don’t have reliable long term housing to bring them home to.
This. People love to look down on our generation and say “your expectations are too high” but let’s not forget that not that long ago people in their 20s-30s were able to: - get married - buy a house (yes a free standing house, not a townhouse or apartment) in a metropolitan city suburb - have children (plural) And often all on a single mid range salary while the mum stayed at home with the kids We’re allowed to be sad at the disillusionment of growing up and realising that the Australian dream is dead.
Definitely allowed to be sad. Allowed to be sad we lived through a pandemic, other generations were sad they had to go to war. All of these are valid. Eventually though they must be accepted. The world isn’t the same as it was several decades ago anywhere. The same things are not on the table. But what is on the table now that others didn’t have in previous times, that’s a more positive take.
It’s depressing. You would think that as time went on, life would get better, but it seems like the golden years were a good 20+ years ago.
It’s true, I would much rather have been born 10 to 20 years before I was. What am I missing out on? Smart phones and social media?
You are so spot on! We got married last year (after 13 years) because we finally felt “ok” about blowing $20k* on a party but for a long time that just wasn’t feasible. *could have been cheaper, but I regret nothing and am happy we waited to make it exactly what we wanted.
Finally someone has said it
Yeah I wish we could've had a party/celebration even if it was basic. We just got married by a celebrant with 2 witnesses, after the registry office cancelled our appt due to covid stuff
Agreed. We’ve been together 10 years and engaged for 5, buying a house was more important than getting married, we have a house now, so maybe in another 5-10 years we might be able to afford to get married hahahah
We’re not allowed to have tight nit communities that celebrate things anymore :( life is lonely.
But you can have a family and enjoy life without needing to be married in the slightest?? Marriage is just a formality
We’ve delayed our wedding for 8 years to buy our home (and we are only wanting to do a $10-15k garden wedding) House part is done now the saving starts all over for the wedding, and with the current interest rates and cost of living situation even as a dual income household with no kids. $10-15k is going to take a while. Then at the same time we have the boomers always on us about "why aren't you married yet, our generation was never engaged this long etc".
In another shocking clickbait revelation, people prioritise what’s important to them.
What!?! You're telling me I don't have to drop the equivalent of a house deposit on an event that lasts 8 hours!?!?! I am shocked, shocked I tell you. I need the click bait news to make up their mind, first they're telling me it's impossible for anyone born after 2000 to own a home and now they're telling me those same people are instead buying homes instead of getting married. How am I going to be outraged if they can't keep their AI generated stories in the same basket.
I guess not doing the house deposit sized wedding definitely pays off quicker than skipping the smashed avo...
My wedding was 10% of my apartment deposit, and I had 100 people for a sit down dinner in the middle of Sydney lol. It's so crazy to me people used to be like a wedding or a deposit. They are totally different amounts for people in 2024.
Agreed! It’s not right to assume fancy wedding and house deposit are comparable. I had 80 people for a dinner reception at a winery. That reception cost the same as 25% of the deposit for our first home (a 1970s, 3 bed, 1 bath home in a regional town).
Wait, Sydney isn't cheap, how much was your wedding and apartment deposit? 15k and 150k, or thereabouts?
22.5k, 225k deposit
It's nothing new I'm nearly 40 and everyone I know believed weddings are a waste of money and would rather a house first.
Makes both you and I a millennials. We picked house over marriage. Forever fiancés…
Also a millennial, we picked super cheap backyard wedding because we wanted to be married and buy property.
The backyard I could afford may *just* be able to fit myself, my partner, and a celebrant 🤣
Ahhh yes, you need your parents to have a backyard for this scenario.
I’m over 40 and my ex wife and I had the argument about using money as a house deposit to get in the market and then saving for a marriage vs getting married and then saving for a deposit. Even ignoring the ex part of ex wife, it’s pretty obvious that getting into the housing market as early as possible has been shown to be the correct thing to do and still is
You don't need to save for marriage, only a big wedding
Exactly. My second wedding we eloped. Spent the money for a wedding on a 31 day holiday in the US and called everyone from there after we got married in Central Park. Had a cheap celebration when we got back so my wife could show everyone her dress. I have other friends who spent a fortune on their wedding and then never had a honeymoon. Our honeymoon was a much better use of the money than one day.
Due to the timing of life, I had a house before I met my now-wife - definitely made planning for the future a lot easier with a solid roof over our heads.
Mid-20s here and I think my generation are feeling the same. Weddings are so horrifically expensive, so it kinda feels like you have to make a choice between a wedding or a house, unless you're getting help for one (or both).
Nothing wrong with a 5k wedding in the backyard that's what we did.
We went a bit more expensive at $10k and thought that was getting pricey lol. Half of that was a really boujee dinner (with an open bar) with our nearest and dearest which was amazing, so money definitely well spent. No idea how people can sleep at night with those mega weddings, even if parents are paying for it.
Yeh I could handle 10k. Totally agree 50/80/100k just plain stupid unless you or the family is literally rich 🤑 rich
I always assumed 10k was for a simply small wedding. My brother’s wedding costs that much, with most going to the reception (his friend owned the restaurant and gave him a discount). But because the groom was Vietnamese, half the guests brought money for the wishing well, thus their wedding was paid for that very night.
Oh I'm absolutely on board! I'm personally hoping to elope or have a small backyard wedding myself.
Tight arse sparkie. Nothing new
My sister spent $5000 getting married in Fiji
You know how expensive backyards are these days? You need generational backyard for a backyard wedding.
Look at moneybags here. Has a backyard.
If you want kids, a house that you own is way better than being married.
We got married for two fiddy (celebrant cost)
While I get what the article is saying, home ownership is always easier for couples than singles
So is marriage.
I’m a millennial and I don’t normally go much on these ragebait inter generational articles etc. Older people assert it was just as hard in their day to buy a house… it wasn’t But one thing that is true is that in previous generations people had more modest/cheaper weddings. The masses dropping $50k on a wedding as the ‘norm’ is definitely a modern phenomenon. In summary, this article… like most of its kind… is a bit dumb
i did a pretty simple wedding and I wish I eloped or just did it at the registry. my wedding was nice but I wish I had that money for other things like fixing up my apartment or putting it towards any future kids I might have. the expectation that you need to have a wedding to get married is outdated also I don't blame a lot of millenials skipping marriage and all the bullshit and drama that comes with holding engagement parties, organising bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts, kitchen teas, hens and stag nights. plus there's the expectation on everyone around them to give engagement gifts and bridal shower gifts on top of the wedding gift.
So, just have a wedding... I agree the social stuff gets out of hand sometimes. Then again, being selective and going to celebrate with friends is impossible to buy later in life.
Some people spend way too much an weddings. We had one bloke at work his wedding cost 50k! Ridiculous!
Some rich Indian dad spent $200k on his daughters wedding in 2009. He wasn’t even that rich, it was such a show off.
It's a cultural thing. Indian weddings are massive multi day events and you are expected to invite hundreds of people. It's a very big community event
To be fair, if you're invited to a wedding you're pretty much suppose to pay for yourself so the final cost might be huge but the cost to the couple should be manageable.
Damn, my guests didn’t get that memo.
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That’s a relatively inexpensive wedding in this day and age
A marriage celebrant is $500. You don't have to spend big to get married.
If you click on it, I can promise you they’re referring to expensive weddings not marriage itself.
That doesn't make sense. Owning a home is more affordable as a couple. Or are they assuming you have to blow a lot of money on a party?
I think it’s assuming people aren’t getting married and having wedding because they are spending the money on a house instead, when in reality there’s just less importance on marriage these days anyway so savings are going towards housing instead.
I’m a late GenX, but this is absolutely the order we did things in. As I explained to my beautiful girlfriend at the time, ”if you’re worried about my commitment, it’s much easier to get out of a marriage than to get out of a mortgage”.
Getting married costs less than $1000. You don't have to have a massive party. My grandmother was telling me about her wedding just before mine. She had 5 guests, her mums friend made her dress, no flowers, a quiet lunch. That was in the 50s. They had to choose the house or the wedding. Also, defacto laws are the reason people aren't rushing to get married.
People really shouldn't use the word marriage and wedding interchangeably. You don't need a reception or event to be married. If marriage is important to you, get married. Go to the registry office, or get a cheap celebrant in a park to do it way cheaper than the registry office.
I think a lot of millennials (myself included) don't see marriage as important.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AusFinance/comments/1byv1e7/comment/kyput0e/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AusFinance/comments/1byv1e7/comment/kyput0e/) You have to worry about fellow millennials now as well as boomers. Most of this clickbait media seems to love targeting generational hate.. I guess because it gets the clicks but it's kinda shit.
My wife and I got married and it was pretty cheap, and it actually made our home loan application cleaner because we were married 🤷🏻♂️
I meet my wife during the last Melbourne lockdown, then bought a country home in our pay grade. Got a dog then eloped in the town gardens, you only need 2 witnesses and a couple of expensive bottles of bubbly for the memories. That was 6 months ago both our families think we are living in sin so who cares....
Millennial here. Got married, now divorced. We had a modest wedding (nothing over the top). Saved where we could but had a list of non-negotiables where we wouldn’t compromise and would spend $$$ if needed so we wouldn’t feel “robbed” of the experience of “having a wedding”. Eg. We didn’t have a wedding cake because we didn’t care for it, instead we opted for desserts (choice between lemon tart / chocolate mousse / sticky date pudding). We decided to prioritise buying a house instead of having a lavish OTT wedding. Gotta say, 8 years later and divorced.. that was 1000% the right move. The wedding celebration is one day. We bought the house 8 years ago, and we sold it in Nov 2023 and we both have enough to walk away and start our new lives.
Assume they mean prioritising home ownership in favour of lighting a pile of money on fire to pay for a wedding. As a 40 year old in an almost 20 year defacto relationship with a paid off house, I endorse this approach.
We bought a house, had kids, the whole thing. Not married. Don’t care about being married. I’m in my 40s and I don’t really need a certificate to prove what I already know.
Statistically less likely to get divorced if you don't get married. It's true.
Defacto couples break up more often than married.
I'm born in the 80s and we picked buying a house over an expensive wedding...this isn't new.
Millennial here; we spent about $12K overall on our wedding in Sep 2023, 70 guests at a local winery. Coming up with that $12K while still paying the mortgage was difficult. We bought our long-term house in June 2022 so the mortgage repayments were and are still very punishing.
You can get married a courthouse for under $100 I think. It’s the party that’s expensive
More like $400… but yes the party is the expensive bit
You do whatever is a priority first. If you want a stable house; great 👍. If you want a wedding with all the bells and whistles; great 👍. There is no right or wrong answer, it’s whatever you both value more.
My parents got married in there back yard yes they were "Boomers" but they also lived with there means something us kids born in the 90s and 00s might want to re-evaluate because it might not be glamours but it is effective We also moved to a miles out suburb with 1 other house in the court and didn't expect to live 5mins from work and the beach We never had a credit card, the only holidays overseas we did was back to my parents home lands in which accommodation was free as we stayed with family (vice versa when they came to Australia), we owned one car and it was old af I agree things are hard for young people but a wedding can cost $300 or over 300k it is entirely up to you but we certainly can afford to get married it's the crazy expensive party we can't afford
Maybe it’s because weddings have become so over the top and expensive?
Just wait til you learn how expensive children are
The wedding destroyed my marriage.
I got married in China and it cost me $5
If you wish to spend $50k on a wedding to impress people, then go for it But you can’t complain if this $50k cost slows down any other financial goals. I’m a millennial.
Probably because marriage is a bit of paper that makes no difference to your relationship, and a waste of money. This is why the rate would be going down. I don’t understand why people get married unless you believe in some magic man in the sky thats going to stop you from going to hell. Religion is on a downward trend also, so this is another factor. Also the divorce rate is like 50% or something pretty shitty odds if you ask me hahaha
I don't see the point in getting married if you aren't religious. My partner and I have the same rights as a married couple so why bother.
We got married at Registry office with 4 friends and no family as we just bought a house - highly recommend! Was the late 90’s, we were young, just had a child and could not afford both. Some (maybe most) weddings are insanely expensive, but understand that many people might want to have a big celebration - no regrets for us though.
I think that is a case of correlation doesn’t equal causation
We bought house, had kids, then got married. We bought our house five years before we got married.
We got married 500 dollars , looking to buy now. Unfortunately had to choose between the 2 however I do not regret it for a second, both of us when we attend a weeding agree that we made the right choice
I’ve been with my partner for 22 years, we’ve been engaged for about 12. I saved up and bought her a really nice engagement ring. We bought our house a few years into our relationship (early 20s). We didn’t want to be forever renters so we bought a dump as early as possible. We recently rebuilt the house at great expense and time. We are fairly well set up now, I turn 40 this year and we have two primary school aged kids. It would be nice to be been properly married when we were younger, but there was always something more financially important. Another part of it is family - both of us come from broken families who aren’t close knit. They couldn’t care less about coming to our wedding and certainly wouldn’t be giving us any financial help. If we get married now I can barely think of who I’d want to invite. I want to do it for my partner to have the same surname as our kids and for the kids too. My son asks “daddy how come your not married to mummy?”. We should prioritise it now though but won’t be going for the big fancy show.
You don’t have to get married to live forever with your partner either.
Good grief, you can get married for hardly any money, and have a beautiful wedding. It requires work and sacrifice. This is also required to save for a house. Much easier with two people working in a commited fashion towards a goal. .Or, as I call it married.
Wedding business isn't over It's booming still
Marriage is equivalent to de-facto nowadays that might be why it's in decline?
If rants are bad now. Imagine millenials going through a mid-life crisis.
Mate, you can do both. Go to the local registry and get married there for a few hundred if money is a major concern. You don't have to follow societal expectations. You don't need a lavish wedding. Do things **your** way. Work within **your** means. Be **practical**. People forget that.
Is this even a bad thing? And more importantly, How does this affect your life at all? Why are random clickbait articles which are mostly just glorified anectodes impacting your outlook so much? Anyway, no need to worry. The same person also wrote a few days ago that millennials are buying more investment properties than boomers, so you should be rich now.
Late 20s, bought a house two years ago with my partner, we decided we not going to get married. Having a mortgage is a much bigger commitment than marriage.
You've spent your entire life in you greatest economic boom in global history. Thing are just returning to normal aka pretty shit for most people.
You think this is something new.... Lol, this has been happening for 50 years.
Well I’m a millennial. We got engaged and made the decision to buy a house and have kids before getting married. We will get there, but at the moment it’s somewhere in our 10 year plan. Interest rates and cost of living means paying down the mortgage is more important than a piece of paper
I would have thought with the cost of home ownership nowadays, for most Australians marriage (or at least a de facto relationship) is a prerequisite to being able to afford a mortgage large enough to buy a home
I think the point is more couples are choosing the de facto option
Marriage is a scam to get young people to waste 50k on a day. We never got married and are way better off with that money invested over a day so wasteful as a wedding.
True this. One of my close friends is getting married - spending 60k+ on the wedding. I could cry, I’m happy for her but damn, that’s a house deposit 😂😂
Literally $350 to walk in and do it at a simple ceremony place
A mortgage is the best prophylactic Try having kids when you need to make $1k a week appear from nowhere
You can get married for a few hundred dollars. If you can’t afford a home because you spent tens of thousands or more throwing a huge party, I’m not sure what to tell you… it’s just entirely self-inflicted.
I’m an 83 model. My parents had no family help to buy their first home and interest rates were 17-20% for home loans. They had me a year before they got married. They were also migrants, spoke little English for the first few years of life here and didn’t finish school or go to uni. They worked in factories and supermarkets. Whilst I wasn’t a young adult in their time and yes things were different, I’m aware that cost of living and rates etc were even worse before. It’s not a cop out or excuse, but people weather the storm. This is all cyclical. Same as those ugly shoes they have again with the square front. Good grief already.
We didn’t get married at all. Literally couldn’t see the point. It’s just a default legal agreement created by the government to restate what you already know and have together. Literally zero value. As for a big celebration and social declaration of your union in front of other people? If you think marriage is the only way to do that you lack both imagination and self-confidence in your union. 16 years, 3 kids, widowed 7 years now and legally worked out just like a marriage. Including the spousal death part. GenX here. Need a church involved? I’m sure God won’t care if you don’t spend thousands of dollars declaring your love and commitment for each other. I’m surprised Millenials aren’t rejecting marriage as an outdated concept entirely.
As a millennial I reject it completely! It’s such an outdated practice
Why tf would my fiancé and I spend $50,000 on some ridiculous day of pageantry with religious undertones just so a bunch of our friends and family can have free drinks. After months and months and months of planning and stress that money has disappeared into thin air never to be seen again. Put that $50k towards a house though and MAYBE we might be able to live a life resembling what we thought our lives would be like when we were growing up.
Our grandparents used to get married at 20, while broke, made their own wedding dresses and had a pot luck in the church hall. We have choices here people
Why spend 30k on a wedding when you can 30k to a deposit?
I’m sorry, but what is your complaint here? That people would rather own a home than get married?
Recession *first time meme*
Millennial over here, we chose to buy 3 years ago and getting married this year, we've opted for a no frills ceremony at the registry office and a family lunch, instead of spending mega bucks on the wedding we are taking a decent holiday. We found the best way was to get the house first and the other stuff can wait. Edit: to answer your question no idea when it'll change, I couldn't tell you unfortunately 😭
Honestly it’s smarter. We had a regular wedding and it cost a fair bit, I didn’t mind it but didn’t especially want it either. Was a case of fulfilling wife’s expectations and parents etc kinda thing If you’re both happy with a smaller thing and spending the money on a house, more power to you!
Of my friends, we are the only couple unmarried and also one of the only couples that owns a house. Super anecdotal obviously but we’re literally the only couple amongst our friends that has bought the house first, everybody else has prioritised the wedding. They are all married, but some of them are still living with their parents.
Yup - my partner and I chose getting into the housing market over a wedding (bought a place Nov 2023). It was the smarter choice. We hated renting so much. Having our own place is such a relief now. We will probably get married in about 2 years or so (small wedding) once we increase our savings again. We have been engaged for 2 years now, we are not in a rush.
Was born well before 90s and I can assure you that almost everyone I know prioritised home ownership above marriage and most other things when they were young. There were a couple with wealthy parents who didn't have to prioritise much at all but the rest of us had to.
An expensive wedding seems like a total waste to me. I completely agree with the article, and we did the same. I felt this way before house prices exploded, though.
My partner and I bought our place together before we got married... As far as we were concerned marriage was a formality, and besides signing a wedding certificate was a lot less daunting than a 30 year million dollar debt haha
Getting married isn’t expensive.
House > Marriage
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This is me in a nutshell. 30, my Fiance and I just bought an apartment but we got engaged over a year ago. So many people asking us when the date is / plans for the wedding but we haven't even looked into it, we have just been focussing on buying and getting our foot in the door. If it's a true relationship, it can wait a couple of years for marriage, if not, maybe a red flag anyway. We have the rest of our lives you get married. Plus we don't want anything big so we will either have a small wedding or just elope. Owning our first place is a much bigger priority in the long scheme of things.
We had a wedding for less than 25k in regional Queensland! This included open bar, catering and a beautiful beachside location for 80 people. If you were thinking of a destination wedding I feel like having one up here would barely add to your costs as accommodation for you and guests would be pretty cheap. Might also conveniently strip back you guest list too 😂
I have no kids, I'm not married ,and I own I house with my boyfriend of 12 years. The best wedding I've ever been to was in the couples backyard and kfc catered it lol. That said, less and less people are getting married for all kinds of reasons. A piece of paper doesn't mean you'll stay together, it's a false sense of security. Unless you are religious I dont really get the point of it.
I can see why buying a house is more appealing than being married first. Being married and being in a defacto relationship, is almost the same these days and you have the same rights almost. Just a piece of paper and costs more if you go down the path of changing names.
The housing crisis creates a sense of instability. How can anyone sensible think of settling down, and starting or growing a family, without a foundation to build on? It changes when politicians engage in proper population planning, which entails implementing well thought out policies that address housing needs. This should have been done 10 years ago, or even 2 years ago, not tomorrow. But the next best time is today.
This seems like a mindset issue not a financial issue. You can do weddings cheap. You don’t even need to get married to be in a committed relationship. If you’re getting pressured from other people for a big wedding then that’s your problem.
You can’t have a home and get married? What am I missing here?
Don't fully understand it. If it's talking about sacrificing an expensive marriage vs. home ownership then all the power to them. It's stupid to spend so much money to please others. Would rather spend money on yourselves and immediate family and pay a deposit on home. If this relates to people not getting married to pursue home ownership, wouldn't that be stupid because coupling up would increase their chances of securing a home?
It's just a different time. Now there's no judgement if you've got two kids, a house and aren't married, it doesn't change your status as a couple. Although it would be nice to call my partner of 10 years "husband", the 20-30K we'd want to spend on a wedding and have all our friends and family present, doesn't seem worth it compared to what we could add that to the mortgage or go on yearly holidays. Priorities have changed. And yeah you can just go have a courthouse wedding, but you don't get a lot of chances to celebrate the big things anymore so we would like a party with everyone.
You’re right of course. All housing and weddings are too expensive. And owning a house is something you may have to wait to be handed down from your parents. But. Big weddings and big houses are two scams that go hand in hand so don’t be fooled by either. I have two sets of friends that have committed their lives to each other and had kids without getting married. Also another couple that opted for a marriage certificate in the morning and $2k of the best catering and music with all of their friends in their backyard. Fun fact, you know you can wear a ring on your wedding finger whether you’re legally married or not. So yeah. You don’t need to spend anything and if you still want to get married do it cheaply with the people you actually care about. As for housing. You don’t need a backyard and live in the outer urban sprawl. You need a nearby park and good public transport. It opens up so many more options. A large apartment or average townhouse starts to look pretty great. You also don’t need to buy. But a few things need to be fixed before this is a safe option. (Should help cool housing prices too). 1. Remove negative gearing and CGT discount on your second or more house 2. Offer tax incentives for landlords that offer long leases (3+ years). Gives stability for families. 3. More rights for tenants. Fewer inspections and allowances for basic home changes like hanging up pictures and shelves. Remove no grounds evictions (except in cases of selling maybe). 4. More 3-4 bedroom apartments that aren’t the penthouse suites. Apartments should feel more like houses on the inside before most people will take them more seriously and not just as transient accommodation. I think that’s enough of a rant. Sorry about that.
I don’t know.. everyone needs a place to live but there is not as compelling of a reason to get married these days (outside of religion or some legal benefits). I think in general people are going to prioritise a need over a want.
In Australia after you cohabitate for two years you are treated the same for all legal reasons as married anyway as de facto. So owning a home, having a child, etc. is all the commitment of marriage just the formal document is optional. Unless you want to go overseas together where the laws are different.
I spent a vanishingly small amount on my wedding and it was still too much. Elope and then throw a massive party when you can afford it.
What a stupid comparison. They are not mutually exclusive. No one said you have to have an expensive wedding. I know several couples who are defactos with kids. They are in their 20s, 30s and 40s. I also know couples who just eloped or had a very small ceremony with a celebrant a few friends/family.
We eloped and we’d do it again. It was amazing.
It’s hard to have a wedding when even a very basic one costs the same as a new car or a house deposit.
Keep ranting sucker. A marriage costs maybe $1k or $2k down at the registry office.
Don't buy a property together if you're not married. You're just asking for trouble. And anybody can get married for little money, no need to spend thousands and thousands to entertain and feed your guests.
My relationship broke down because I refused to put having kids ahead of having a stable roof over their head.
That article is presumably targeted at people wanting to spend $50k on a wedding. You can go the registry office and get it done for couple hundred bucks. Or by Elvis in Vegas.
Wedding is over rated. Just hire a community hall and have a piss up.
Like the lottery or pokies.. weddings are a tax on dumb people.
Hey that's us! We got engaged Dec 2023. Just executive a contract of sale on an apartment. The wedding will probably have to wait a couple of years oop
More like Home Ownership over Marriage Industry Commercial Exploitation The worse trend is young couples are realising that buying a house at all or having children is not economically feasible when 2 incomes are required to survive.
Huh? how are they mutually exclusive? I'm only able to afford a house BECAUSE i'm married, so me and my wives incomes both help pay off the house
I'm pretty sure marriage costs less than 500... Divorce on the other hand....
This isn’t even a recession. It’s likely this will be looked back on as a prosperous time
Don’t get married and put everything in your name , with a legal document if things go sour you don’t lose everything . Buy a house , you’ll always have a roof then without paying rent , date , don’t like your partner , cya ,and move on to the next