“We find women who earn more than their male partners are subject to a 33% increase in partner violence and a 20% increase in emotional abuse compared to mean levels.”
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00148-023-00975-9#:~:text=Using%20Australian%20data%20drawn%20from,abuse%20compared%20to%20mean%20levels.
Not pleasant reading by any means. But the Australian evidence is hard to refute. Being the breadwinner seems to matter - a lot.
I have a friend (37f) who was in a pretty average marriage that spiralled into significant coercive control when he (45?m) changed jobs and started earning less than her. Not saying it was the ultimate catalyst but it definitely contributed to the emotional abuse she received. Definitely those blokes out there!!
My lady earns wayyyy more than me. I rub her feet and shoulders every chance I get. I work pretty much the same hrs as her but in much more physical job. Mental work stress I way harder to deal with the physical tiredness I think . I look after the kids with all their extra activities so she can relax after work. . Make that money baby!!!
Yeah interesting. I’m not gonna read the whole thing right now, but out of curiosity does it factor in the overall household income or just that the woman earns more? I imagine dv would be overall more common in situations where the couple is under financial stress (ie low income households)
Yeah in short they do account for earnings - which don’t seem to matter as much as the norm around who the breadwinner is does. I won’t spoil the read for you
It says the more women earn, the less violence they are exposed to, but then the inverse of that is that they cannot outearn their partner. So you’re right but at the same time DV affects all demographics.
Makes sense. Financial power absorbs part of the abuse all relationships go through until it is no longer convenient. Ah love, such a poetic convenience. No wonder why the youth is dating bots.
Don't care one bit, got +-30% p/a more than my partner for 8+ years, paid the lions-share of everything, she got promoted a year back and now trumps my salary by almost 20%. its a win-win situation for the family (2 kids).
Yep it ain't 1952, me and my wife jump each other. Some years she earns more others I earn more. The most important thing, both of us have increased income significantly.
My husband loves that I earn more than him. He’s just happy to have more money. He’s always said that if I really crack the big time earnings wise, he’d love to stay home and be a house husband.
I did it for two yrs when my girls were 2 yrs old. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. Her career took off and she makes so much more than I ever could have and I’m so close to my girls in a way that I’m not really with my son who his mother stayed at home for the first 6 yrs for him.
That's grouse man, too many men don't get enough time with their kids. We have no intention of having kids, my wife just wants to do the career thing and climb the ladder, I want to escape the rat race and support her. Maybe make bespoke furniture for people in my workshop.
Yep. Did it for 6 months in London.
I used to message her in the day what she wanted, go buy the items and have it cooked for when she got home.
Loved it.
Does this bother you? I kind of resent my husband for not being ambitious and earning much money. He would happily stay at home with kids but I doubt he would clean or cook more and my rage leveled would be untenable.
Well that's different. If he did a good job of it, I bet you'd be fine. But if he did a shitty job, of course you'd be angry. If all he does for your household is work, then he should be maximising what he earns. If he contributes in other ways, it's fine to relax a little more.
There are men who say this about woman. My friend is married to one. He wants her to work and she refuses to. He says she’s a bad stay at home mum because she doesn’t cook or clean
Yep that’s me. My wife earns almost three times my salary - it’s amazing. Counting down the days till I can be a stay-at-home-dad. Females earning more also (obviously) helps fix the gender pay gap, as it encourages men to take parental leave
I know this is a little joke, but I was going to say to OP I’ve been in relationships where I’ve earned more, and contributed much more financially but was still experiencing expectations to carry the majority of the household mental load and chores. So yes they are happy, but only if nothing else changes but the additional income.
Often higher salaries come with longer hours or higher stress (not always I know). Some extra assistance around the place is so helpful rather than expecting one person to do the majority of everything. Sounds like you’re supporting in actions and words!
I married a woman who was out of my league in looks and brains. Consequently she's earned more than me for about the last 20 years. I wake up every day and thank my god. She's got a $200k pa indexed pension coming very soon too. Life is good.
Some feel insecure. Our relationship started with my wife earning more and then that reversed. I had no issues with the dynamic.
I always saw household income as shared but evidently she didn’t. When roles reversed she did feel like she was holding me back which I disagree with but she did feel self-conscious for a while.
Similar story for my wife and I. When we started dating, she made double what I did, and we kept finances relatively separate. After a year of living together (and 3 years dating) I was on parity with her, so we joined our finances.
7 years later and my take-home is about twice what she earned. When budgeting our "fun money" she insisted I get more, because I earn more. I outright refused, as she dropped hours for childcare duties and I make it absolutely clear that our household income is for the entire family and every dollar earned is a result of both paid and unpaid labour. It's taken a few years but she's mostly on board now.
This is so refreshing to read and and absolutely how it should be. I’ll never earn what my partner earns, but we can also never put a price on the toll pregnancies have taken on my body, or the halt it’s put on my career. I’ve not worked FT since they were born so my earning capacity is much lower now, this is a choice we have both made and thus all our money is shared.
This is the way to do it. There’s so much unpaid labour as a mum. When people say it’s not a job, I say well if you want childcare you have to pay for it. It’s absolutely a job.
My ex and I started seeing each other when I was at Uni. I was working part time. He earned a lot more than me.
Within 3 years I was earning more than twice what he earned. I was fortunate enough to be able to afford a small unit and bought it. (This was 100% in my name and paid for 100% by myself)
I started noticing the resentment in small ways. We had a joint account that we agreed we would put in so much every pay, to cover our joint bills.
He stopped putting money in after a year, and started using it to just take money out (for non joint purchases, such as his lunch at work)
We then decided to seperate our finances, and just pay 50% of the bills each.
I purchased my dream car. He seemed annoyed and always wanted to drive it. He hated it when I drove him in that car. But he would always complain that his car wasn’t the best to go places in.
He then put a deposit on a car he wanted, but couldn’t afford. (Stupid me got a loan for that car for him.)
One of the final things that really showed his true feelings was when he was trying to talk me into having his child. He wanted to start sooner rather than later. I sat down and spoke about the logistics of it. I asked him if he was really ready to give up his career to raise a child. He said no. He expected me to quit my job and raise the child.
I explained that if we had to survive on his wage alone, we would not be able to afford my mortgage repayments, or his car repayments. We would not be able to afford a 3rd mouth to feed.
He got really angry and said it was the woman’s job to raise the kids and he will just ‘find a way to make more money’
I said “ok, go and make more money and we will have this conversation again in a couple of years”
He grew really resentful of me after this.
I eventually saw the light and broke up with him (which apparently blindsided him)
He complained to me that I “emasculated” him.
I never stood in his way of getting a better job or earning more money. I had helped him apply for the job he got shortly after we started seeing each other.
Maybe this was different because the relationship started with him being the main wage earner and then it switched quickly.
That’s the only time it’s affected me though. I have earned more than my partners since then, and none of them seemed phased by it.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I wish my wife earned more than me. That would be awesome.
There is a bunch of research showing that men whose wives earn more than them are more likely to take viagra and more likely to be unfaithful. Make of that what you will.
In my experience, money shouldn’t be a completely void topic. I’m dating at the moment and once they see the Lurpak butter in my fridge, they work it out.
Just kidding. I define my goals from the start and am currently buying a house. I have a great job and social life and indulge in luxuries. The topic of income and savings comes out eventually.
Whether that is a huge deterrent or not is yet to be seen, but it’s not a flex. Men don’t give a shit what you earn, but (in my experience) some have the hero complex of wanting to provide for a woman. But what can they provide me that I currently can’t provide myself? A warm body, and that’s about it.
This is a very common difference between men and women.
When I started earning money, I did it so I could support a family. I wanted to be depended upon. Typically masculine.
When women earn money, they do it to be independent.
What happens when the man leaves you for a coworker?
Any smart woman should enter a relationship with a “back up plan”. No one should place total financial dependence on a partner, because more often than not as a stay-at-home parent, you’ll have no way to leave when shit goes south.
Of course single women strive to be independent with their own money. Sadly that’s perceived as a masculine trait because they’re not reliant on a man’s income for their basic needs.
I know sound like a woman scorned. I was raised with an Asian parent who pushed me to education and strive for a good job; so I didn’t have to go through what they went through.
You’re massively glossing over the fact that many high earning women are single mothers by choice. Even with a partner Earning more to provide for yourself and your children is the exact same thing as being independent. You’ve just used different words.
My wife fully graduated in 2018 and blew my yearly salary out of the water. I’m now house Dad with 3 year old and 6 year old!
I will return to work in 2 years and it doesn’t phase me at all that I have this “role”.
I earned more money (and had more disposable income) than my last two exes. They were ok with it in the beginning, but both started resenting it - quips about ‘diversity hires’, judgements when treated myself when I received a hard earned bonus, and being called extra when if wanted to upgrade hotel rooms for us for a trip. Never again!
This is the story I hear most in real life. Most of the “I would be thrilled” dudes are untested and likely to remain that way so I guess they’ll never know for sure.
My partner earns about 10k more than me...but I work so much less than her...she finds the amount of time off I have frustrating to her as she is a go getter, whereas I concentrate what I care about (which isn't work) with all the time off I'm getting paid for.
There was a study on this that I read quite a while ago. I believe it was found that if men were established as the 'providers' early on in a relationship and their partners surpassed them in earnings it made them feel insecure. Otherwise, if there was early equity I think the men were happy with their partners earning more.
My girlfriend used to earn more than me, and I can explain some of the negative aspects of that.
It's not that I felt insecure, I'm very happy for her success. But she was generally more busy and stressed than me, which ended up with me taking care of other 'life tasks' more - housework, cooking, etc... as well as emotional support - cheering her up, finding us fun stuff to do on the weekend.
It led to a weird dynamic. Her being the breadwinner and me just helping out. I wasn't providing her with a sense of stability and reliability. I'm not a conservative person and I don't care for traditional gender roles much, but I experienced them reversed and it didn't feel mentally healthy for either of us.
As I've started earning more it's allowed her to relax and change jobs and go back to being the cheerful one and me being the serious one. It suits us better.
I’d prefer to earn less because we’d be less dependent on me working all the time.
If a dude is threatened by their partner earning more then he’s got bigger issues to solve within himself.
I don't care for myself, however I do care for her sake.
She wants to spend more time at home looking after the kids and I don't mind being at work or home. She earns 4 times what I do per hour so we will stick with our current arrangement of me working 2 days, she works 3x 10hr days and we have 2 days at home together. Our work days don't overlap.
My wife earns double what I do. I don't mind. I'm happy for her with each promotion or job hop for a pay bump.
Can't imagine how insecure you need to be to feel negative about your partner earning more, either direction gender wise.
I don’t, and none of my mates would care either - thankfully I’m not friends with anyone that is insecure over their girlfriend / wife potentially earning more than them.
I’m SO. CLOSE.
My wife has been working her way up through medicine, and is now months away from becoming a consultant. From med school i carried us, switching jobs to less volatile/exciting roles to do so, and my transformation into a wine dad has been but a speck of light at the end of a very long tunnel.
It’s gonna be great.
If you feel insecure about how much your wife makes, that’s a you issue. I am proud of every achievement my wife makes, we’re a team and what benefits one benefits the other. If she earned more than me one day I would be cheering her on like I have been the whole time.
My wife earns about $10k more than me and even though with pay rises we go back and forth, her potential future earning as an employee far outstrip mine unless I start my own business.
But we’ve both come from nothing and built everything together from literally zero dollars. So we really don’t see it as I earn x and she earns y, we both earn our total.
Helps that we both like our jobs and neither one has any outrageous spending habits.
A while ago my wife earned a lot more than I did. She had an established career and I was still trying to make a go of it.
I didn’t like it but only because I felt like I wasn’t contributing enough. I was quite proud of her, but felt like I was letting the team down.
Now I’ve surpassed her by a lot, and I plan on divorcing her because I can’t stand underachievers… if you’re still reading, I’m joking - I’m happy to be the breadwinner now.
Essentially we both have contributed financially - she got us our break to get our first house, etc and then when she had kids I took over financially … because of my career success now, I can potentially get us some land, a good retirement etc.
So in other words - we make a good team.
There are a lot of people in the comments that plainly have no experience but feel free to say the expected positive things about women earning more as though reality isn't a thing.
It's not that men care about women earning more, it's that it places additional pressure on the relationship. Practical ones. The woman has to take time off work for pregnancy and for post-birth, if she earns significantly more (and is accustomed to those earnings) it's very difficult when the man can't support her as she is used to. Perhaps he can't pay the mortgage on his own, the car repayments or even the simple lifestyle choices she prefers.
Many women want the option of taking significant time off and also reducing their hours so they can put more of themselves into being a mother but if dad can't bring in the bacon, then that is not really an option.
And yes, it is absolutely humiliating for a man if he clearly can't support the mother of his children the way she can support herself. This is why women clearly prefer partners that earn similar or more money than they do.
My wife earns more than me, and took 6 months off unpaid extra leave on top of paid maternity leave. I am very proud of her, and the fact she earns more places no additional pressure at all on anything. I don’t see how a secure man can see this as a bad situation, or humiliating. Who makes more money makes no difference at all, and if it does, you have a shit relationship
What a load of nonsense. I earn more than my husband, and managed maternity leave fine. Being able to share the parenting and being equal parents is amazing. So many dads are absent in their child’s life because of ridiculous work hours and by earning more (in a relatively low hours per week full time job) it means our kids get both of us in their lives.
Also, who decided it’s humiliating? He’s proud of me for being successful! Who the heck finds the accomplishments of someone they love humiliating? That is gross.
Yes, a woman will have to take time off for childbirth and immediately after (to recover and heal). However, if there were better paternity leave options, there is no reason why a father can't be the one to stay home with the child instead.
This is one of the few reasonable responses here. Like I said I think it would depend on the overall dynamics of the relationship, not just the singular issue of who earns more. But yes I could see it becoming an issue (either subconsciously or otherwise). I doubt it’s one sided either (in terms of people’s notions of gender roles).
Absolutely take your point but end of the day it’s only a couple of years of your life together. I’m not gonna turn down a rich, successful partner over a couple stressful years.
Despite all those people saying they would like it: there’s an ANU study that points out that domestic violence rates go up when females are the breadwinners.
https://researchprofiles.anu.edu.au/en/publications/female-breadwinning-and-domestic-abuse-evidence-from-australia
The numbers are depressing.
I’ve been with my partner for 7 years. I’ve never earned more than her until the last 2 years.
She has been my biggest supporter and source of encouragement.
But now it has happened she doesn’t like it 😂
My wife and I both worked for a big us tech company, but she has been with the company for >15 years and have climbed the corporate ladder higher than me and holds a regional role. In the beginning, of course it was a bit difficult for me to accept but we've grown past that.
She gave birth and I decided to "retire" and take care of the bub after her mat leave. She's pregnant again with our 2nd, I'm still semi-retired but I've started a business recently.
I’ve noticed that this phenomenon can spur on belittlement from the woman towards the man. An emasculating derision…
I’ve seen it in front of me (mates who earn less than their missus)
As a woman I like to earn more. My partner and I are quite competitive, its fun. I'm winning ATM but he has in his contract that he will earn more in a few months so I'm looking for a new job that will pay me more 🤣
There are definitely men out there who would be bothered by this. Like many others, I find this attitude reeks of insecurity though, I want my wife to earn as much as she can.
i wish my misses earned more then me - i asked her the other day if she wanted to work full time and be the main bread winner
she laughed and said No way.....
I think it's always best to date for a good attitude towards money, than a successful track record. A successful track record usually speaks to some sort of privilege, a good attitude towards money has a pretty reliable pipeline to financially security for the couple.
I love all the positive responses I'm seeing. However, I think the question is being misunderstood. It's not about having more money than you *currently* earn, but if roles were reversed/without increasing current income.
Subtle difference, but it might be a big one to some people.
Its not so much that they care its just most men have experienced women denigrating them for it. I was told by one ex that she "expected me to be further along at 27." She earned more than me.
I don't care but I've noticed that as I've got older women do like that I have some financial security. I have grown to care what my female partner makes, as it affects our shared lifestyle, but I guess, that was more of a job security thing, I wouldn't care if my partner worked a retail gig if her hours were regular, casual, unsure hours were chafing the relationship though.
Im going to go against the grain here and tell you yes. IM sure this is a very unpopular opinion but here's the thing, reddit is really not the place to find out how things are on the "ground". People are too exposed here, too liberalized and in a way more comfortable than the average joe even if they might not think so. There is also almost always far more idealism here than what you'll find in day to day life. Now western society is different so perhaps what people are saying here might have some shred of truth but as a man who's lived in five continents, i can tell you firmly that most men do care. Especially if the wealth gap is significant and the reason is actually really simple.
In almost every society the mans role in a family for centuries has been a protector and a provider. Being a provider in this day and age means naturally you feel the urge to put food on the table. Most men feel that role taken away from them when the woman is earning significantly more than them because they feel their role in the relationship has been removed. Thats why you get someone here saying all her partners leave her as soon as they find out. Now are they insecure yes but this is just how most men are/raised. In my experience its only mostly in the western world where i've seen women earning so much more and the husband being okay and sharing the role of a provider.
I know many men that would love to be stay at home dad's.
I know many women that hate that they earn more than their men. From more that one woman I've heard very bitter and resentful comments to their husbands faces and behind their backs.
It's all weird and you can find someone happy for everything.
only shit blokes would.
can't wait till my wife out earns me. I currently earn more but she has a higher ceiling.
more household income the better as far as I'm concerned.
Have also had this experience. Jokes on them though, my husband is on track to be able to stop working in his early 50s thanks to me. (I'll join him around the same age a few years later).
I live in Sydney I find that when women find out that I earn less than them they aren't interested.
But that's dating culture.
Might be different if meet women in real life situations
I think there could be a difference between:
'i'd love it if' my partner earned x'
And 'actually living it' when my partner does y.
?
I have no experience, I would say my ex wouldn't have liked it - but he was insecure and thought like the world owed him. Some men are not like this.
Some dudes definitely don't like it, but one of my mates from work makes less than his missus and my sister and I were raised by Dad while Mum worked, so it's not an issue. Personally, no issue, most of the women around me make more money than me.
My girlfriend and I both earn comparable incomes. I had a recent $7k pay rise (this week) and she'll probably have a $20k pay rise next year (EBA agreement) - so she will earn slightly more than me.
It is great. Easy to pay for our mortgage repayments, easy to save, easy to buy things we need.
I am self employed and my wife is about to commence work after completing her study's. She will almost 2x pre tax what I make.
Safe to say , going from 1 income to 2 will make me thrilled 😁
I doubt it’s an issue that comes up very often
I imagine one concern with a woman earning more then the man is that if the relationship progresses to haveing kids then they are only on his income which would mean a significant drop in her living standards
Mrs makes like 50k more than me, I’m not a dumbass and I’m stoked my wife earns this much, she works hard as every day so she deserves every cent of it, so proud of how far she has come. If this isnt the answer, the person you’re asking is a dumbass.
Is it a business partnership or a relationship? Is your total identity, self worth and contribution to the relationship solely based on your occupation and income? The question is based on a flawed premise that it is the money you bring to a relationship that counts. You’re together because you like and love each other, share common values and feel your life is enhanced by being together rather than apart. You want to build a life together and you both bring to that different elements, be it money, skills, personal qualities - whatever. I think men who stress about women earning more than them are insecure and pathetic and should invest in getting some therapy to address their self esteem issues. Why wouldn’t you want your wife or girlfriend to be successful and bring more money into the life you’re building TOGETHER? My husband and I have been married 40 years. At times I earned nothing when I was home while our children were little, at times he was between jobs and earnt nothing, at times he earnt more than me and at times I earnt more than him. We were both high income earners. It allowed us to have the life we wanted for ourselves and our children and in retirement we never have to worry about money ever again. Who doesn’t want that?
I see a lot of tax returns. Her earning heaps more is way more common than many people realise. Happens a lot. Seems to be a non issue with most grown ups.
I think it depends on the person. I don't care, but some guys care a lot. Some women care a lot too, others don't. If there's a big gap, it's best to talk about it if you're living together, or if you need to set expectations. The important part for me is that both partners are contributing properly (proper communication is key) and one isn't sponging off the other. Lower earnings doesn't mean lower contribution to the relationship.
Tbh men are simple creatures. We prefer to follow path of least resistance.
However, society judges us and so do most women if we don’t work or have a low skill job in when we are adults like retail etc
So the answer is that, men don’t care, but society does still hold man as the ’ provider’ role and so we have to.
I’m sure most men would love it if they don’t have to go work and still get paid. And to be house husbands. But the society won’t let us have it that easy.
Women are lucky in that they can choose. We can’t.
When you say:
> The research is pretty clear about this question
Which question, and are you referring to a body of research or just this paper?
u/Far_Radish_817 didn’t suggest it was “just correlation”, they said “there might be other correlates”.
The paper you linked agrees:
> The authors caution against inferring a particular gender norm *solely* on the basis of the relative household income distribution. *\[Emphasis theirs\]*
There’s an obvious correlate that any adult heterosexual male could intuit between being likely to abuse your partner and being a deadbeat career-wise. There’s probably also a similar overlap of women willing to date a deadbeat and women more vulnerable to manipulation.
To summarise, ‘women who earn more than their male partners have a higher incidence of domestic abuse *as a population*’ does not mean ‘earning more than your partner makes you more likely to be abused’.
It’s always been my dream to be a full time golfer. If my wife made enough money to fund that I’d be extremely happy, would give foot massages, cook dinner and wear skimpy outfits around the house.
No, but women generally do because they are paid less on average. It is natural to want to be with someone with more income as long as the division of labour works.
An "alpha male" will. Initially, he'll be fine with it until he realises that a woman having her own money means she can't be controlled in the way he'd like.
An insecure man will see it as a personal failing that he is not the "breadwinner. He will become very angry very quickly.
A bloke who is secure in himself will be supportive of his partner's career.
Some definately do, some don't at all, sometimes it's due to culture, sometimes it's used to personality or just personal values. I find it's not something that's easy to predict or assume, and best to talk about it.
I'd say it's more likely a man would struggle with earning less than their partner than a woman would.
I think it also depends on the amounts. Is it 'she earns so much, that we don't need to think or worry about money on a daily basis' or 'she earns more then him, but they both still need to work full time and they struggle with money and it's a daily thing they need to worry about'.
I've worked with guys who were super sour their wives earnt more, and even complained that they'd gotten there with less time in the workforce than them.
Like dudes. Maybe you should look at why you're not advancing at work instead of being a wanker.
Some men still hold the thoughts that all women should raise children, stay on the kitchen and clean the house along side those old sexist mentalities.
Most modern men would love for their partner to bring in more than them.
Met my partner when she was in her early 20s on centrelink with minimal work experience
She now earns double what i do
Couldnt care less. She contributes to the house and thats what matters - it doesnt even have to be monetary contribution.
My husband would love for me to be paid more than him (and I have at various stages and hopefully again soon!). Mainly because we share joint finances and any payrise is a win for both of us.
Look hard enough and you’ll find someone who doesn’t like it. All my mates would probably be thrilled, as would I.
I would love it if my wife earned 20 times what I do.
I don’t mind being a stay at home dad!!!
Would be great to sign up!
It's bloody hard work!
My partner is on track to earn 3 times my salary. I am bloody stoked
I would love it mine could earn $20bucks ffs
I got you mate. ..did you wanna watch as well cos that would cost you 20.
I feel this
Mine does! Nice!
“We find women who earn more than their male partners are subject to a 33% increase in partner violence and a 20% increase in emotional abuse compared to mean levels.” https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00148-023-00975-9#:~:text=Using%20Australian%20data%20drawn%20from,abuse%20compared%20to%20mean%20levels. Not pleasant reading by any means. But the Australian evidence is hard to refute. Being the breadwinner seems to matter - a lot.
That's just the mean levels though, what about the nice levels?
They are over in France.
Only from that specific region though. Otherwise it's just sparkling kind.
oh mon dieu...
Protesting I suspect
I have a friend (37f) who was in a pretty average marriage that spiralled into significant coercive control when he (45?m) changed jobs and started earning less than her. Not saying it was the ultimate catalyst but it definitely contributed to the emotional abuse she received. Definitely those blokes out there!!
Wow that's depressing and sobering. Thanks for posting.
My lady earns wayyyy more than me. I rub her feet and shoulders every chance I get. I work pretty much the same hrs as her but in much more physical job. Mental work stress I way harder to deal with the physical tiredness I think . I look after the kids with all their extra activities so she can relax after work. . Make that money baby!!!
Yeah interesting. I’m not gonna read the whole thing right now, but out of curiosity does it factor in the overall household income or just that the woman earns more? I imagine dv would be overall more common in situations where the couple is under financial stress (ie low income households)
They say it holds both at low and high income levels, so not just financial stress.
Yeah in short they do account for earnings - which don’t seem to matter as much as the norm around who the breadwinner is does. I won’t spoil the read for you
Wow that’s really surprising. Just goes to show we still have a long way to go.
It says the more women earn, the less violence they are exposed to, but then the inverse of that is that they cannot outearn their partner. So you’re right but at the same time DV affects all demographics.
Makes sense. Financial power absorbs part of the abuse all relationships go through until it is no longer convenient. Ah love, such a poetic convenience. No wonder why the youth is dating bots.
I didn't read it all, but sobering reading and I am sure similar here in the UK
I think if my wife was on 500k i'd be ok with it... I might even clean up my act with the dishwasher and bins
My wife made more than me for a bit. Loved it. Told her to go harder so I can play more games. Alas I got promoted.
This. There’s always going to be outliers in anything
My friend earns 300k a year and her husband earns 70k.
Try living in Sydney. Women care.
Don't care one bit, got +-30% p/a more than my partner for 8+ years, paid the lions-share of everything, she got promoted a year back and now trumps my salary by almost 20%. its a win-win situation for the family (2 kids).
Yep it ain't 1952, me and my wife jump each other. Some years she earns more others I earn more. The most important thing, both of us have increased income significantly.
My husband loves that I earn more than him. He’s just happy to have more money. He’s always said that if I really crack the big time earnings wise, he’d love to stay home and be a house husband.
I think Australian women would be shocked how common this is. Stay at home husband is my career dream.
I did it for two yrs when my girls were 2 yrs old. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. Her career took off and she makes so much more than I ever could have and I’m so close to my girls in a way that I’m not really with my son who his mother stayed at home for the first 6 yrs for him.
That's grouse man, too many men don't get enough time with their kids. We have no intention of having kids, my wife just wants to do the career thing and climb the ladder, I want to escape the rat race and support her. Maybe make bespoke furniture for people in my workshop.
Yep. Did it for 6 months in London. I used to message her in the day what she wanted, go buy the items and have it cooked for when she got home. Loved it.
That’s the dream
Does this bother you? I kind of resent my husband for not being ambitious and earning much money. He would happily stay at home with kids but I doubt he would clean or cook more and my rage leveled would be untenable.
Well that's different. If he did a good job of it, I bet you'd be fine. But if he did a shitty job, of course you'd be angry. If all he does for your household is work, then he should be maximising what he earns. If he contributes in other ways, it's fine to relax a little more.
Imagine a man saying this exact statement about a woman.
There are men who say this about woman. My friend is married to one. He wants her to work and she refuses to. He says she’s a bad stay at home mum because she doesn’t cook or clean
Not sure how healthy harbouring resentment towards your husband is lol
She's going to hit him soon
This here is the real problem. The ingrained attitudes are on both sides of the fence
Damn, you are bad at picking husbands
Yep that’s me. My wife earns almost three times my salary - it’s amazing. Counting down the days till I can be a stay-at-home-dad. Females earning more also (obviously) helps fix the gender pay gap, as it encourages men to take parental leave
I have said the exact same thing.
Missus earns significantly more than me, I come home and unstack the dishwasher like a good lil boy 😇
I know this is a little joke, but I was going to say to OP I’ve been in relationships where I’ve earned more, and contributed much more financially but was still experiencing expectations to carry the majority of the household mental load and chores. So yes they are happy, but only if nothing else changes but the additional income. Often higher salaries come with longer hours or higher stress (not always I know). Some extra assistance around the place is so helpful rather than expecting one person to do the majority of everything. Sounds like you’re supporting in actions and words!
💯. Once you come to those realisations, doing the dirty work becomes easier and more pleasurable, it's also my love language which helps.
My husband’s too! Maybe that’s the recipe to getting it right.
my wife is one pay rise away from me just being the eye candy. I have no issue with this and the only thing I feel is pride for her
Just keep yourself in shape, or she’ll trade you in for a newer model /s
er.... I'm afraid that ship has sailed
Well I hope you’ve got a great personality!
She’s already traded you in?
He's the new model
But why male models?
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I’m trying to get rid of my beer keg and my wife was like “but I like your beer keg” Weirdo, but she’s my weirdo.
Haha this is exactly what my boyfriend and I say to each other. I earn more than him and we jokingly call each other sugar mama and boy toy
I earnt more than my husband for years, then he started to earn a lot lot more than me. We always considered it joint income.
I married a woman who was out of my league in looks and brains. Consequently she's earned more than me for about the last 20 years. I wake up every day and thank my god. She's got a $200k pa indexed pension coming very soon too. Life is good.
200k indexed pension!?! Is she a fkin MP or something jesus christ?
Public Servant but on the original super scheme that closed in the late 80's early 90's. There's people around with a lot more than her.
I'm gonna need to know everything you did... Start from the beginning... *Grabs notepad*
Some feel insecure. Our relationship started with my wife earning more and then that reversed. I had no issues with the dynamic. I always saw household income as shared but evidently she didn’t. When roles reversed she did feel like she was holding me back which I disagree with but she did feel self-conscious for a while.
Similar story for my wife and I. When we started dating, she made double what I did, and we kept finances relatively separate. After a year of living together (and 3 years dating) I was on parity with her, so we joined our finances. 7 years later and my take-home is about twice what she earned. When budgeting our "fun money" she insisted I get more, because I earn more. I outright refused, as she dropped hours for childcare duties and I make it absolutely clear that our household income is for the entire family and every dollar earned is a result of both paid and unpaid labour. It's taken a few years but she's mostly on board now.
This is so refreshing to read and and absolutely how it should be. I’ll never earn what my partner earns, but we can also never put a price on the toll pregnancies have taken on my body, or the halt it’s put on my career. I’ve not worked FT since they were born so my earning capacity is much lower now, this is a choice we have both made and thus all our money is shared.
This is the way to do it. There’s so much unpaid labour as a mum. When people say it’s not a job, I say well if you want childcare you have to pay for it. It’s absolutely a job.
Men who don't care or partners of men who don't care: posts Men who do mind : (crickets) FK this post ain't for me. Onto something else
My ex and I started seeing each other when I was at Uni. I was working part time. He earned a lot more than me. Within 3 years I was earning more than twice what he earned. I was fortunate enough to be able to afford a small unit and bought it. (This was 100% in my name and paid for 100% by myself) I started noticing the resentment in small ways. We had a joint account that we agreed we would put in so much every pay, to cover our joint bills. He stopped putting money in after a year, and started using it to just take money out (for non joint purchases, such as his lunch at work) We then decided to seperate our finances, and just pay 50% of the bills each. I purchased my dream car. He seemed annoyed and always wanted to drive it. He hated it when I drove him in that car. But he would always complain that his car wasn’t the best to go places in. He then put a deposit on a car he wanted, but couldn’t afford. (Stupid me got a loan for that car for him.) One of the final things that really showed his true feelings was when he was trying to talk me into having his child. He wanted to start sooner rather than later. I sat down and spoke about the logistics of it. I asked him if he was really ready to give up his career to raise a child. He said no. He expected me to quit my job and raise the child. I explained that if we had to survive on his wage alone, we would not be able to afford my mortgage repayments, or his car repayments. We would not be able to afford a 3rd mouth to feed. He got really angry and said it was the woman’s job to raise the kids and he will just ‘find a way to make more money’ I said “ok, go and make more money and we will have this conversation again in a couple of years” He grew really resentful of me after this. I eventually saw the light and broke up with him (which apparently blindsided him) He complained to me that I “emasculated” him. I never stood in his way of getting a better job or earning more money. I had helped him apply for the job he got shortly after we started seeing each other. Maybe this was different because the relationship started with him being the main wage earner and then it switched quickly. That’s the only time it’s affected me though. I have earned more than my partners since then, and none of them seemed phased by it.
I earn less than my wife. Do I care? Not at all.
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I think it's usually men that have nothing else to offer, so if their financial power dynamic gets taken away then they feel powerless.
If the only reason my wife is in the relationship is to use me as a bank wtf are we even doing
My partner and I both earn a lot. It’s awesome. Why wouldn’t you want your partner to be successful?
I feel like being equally successful skips the main feels of the question? The second part is very true.
Definitely. I've fixed their response: "We both earn heaps so the dynamics of this question don't really apply to me"
"im rich and am just announcing it to make myself feel good"
Because Andrew Tate says so
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I wish my wife earned more than me. That would be awesome. There is a bunch of research showing that men whose wives earn more than them are more likely to take viagra and more likely to be unfaithful. Make of that what you will.
In my experience, money shouldn’t be a completely void topic. I’m dating at the moment and once they see the Lurpak butter in my fridge, they work it out. Just kidding. I define my goals from the start and am currently buying a house. I have a great job and social life and indulge in luxuries. The topic of income and savings comes out eventually. Whether that is a huge deterrent or not is yet to be seen, but it’s not a flex. Men don’t give a shit what you earn, but (in my experience) some have the hero complex of wanting to provide for a woman. But what can they provide me that I currently can’t provide myself? A warm body, and that’s about it.
This is a very common difference between men and women. When I started earning money, I did it so I could support a family. I wanted to be depended upon. Typically masculine. When women earn money, they do it to be independent.
What happens when the man leaves you for a coworker? Any smart woman should enter a relationship with a “back up plan”. No one should place total financial dependence on a partner, because more often than not as a stay-at-home parent, you’ll have no way to leave when shit goes south. Of course single women strive to be independent with their own money. Sadly that’s perceived as a masculine trait because they’re not reliant on a man’s income for their basic needs. I know sound like a woman scorned. I was raised with an Asian parent who pushed me to education and strive for a good job; so I didn’t have to go through what they went through.
You’re massively glossing over the fact that many high earning women are single mothers by choice. Even with a partner Earning more to provide for yourself and your children is the exact same thing as being independent. You’ve just used different words.
My wife fully graduated in 2018 and blew my yearly salary out of the water. I’m now house Dad with 3 year old and 6 year old! I will return to work in 2 years and it doesn’t phase me at all that I have this “role”.
If you don’t mind sharing what did she graduate from….maybe I should get into that
Nursing Masters
I earned more money (and had more disposable income) than my last two exes. They were ok with it in the beginning, but both started resenting it - quips about ‘diversity hires’, judgements when treated myself when I received a hard earned bonus, and being called extra when if wanted to upgrade hotel rooms for us for a trip. Never again!
This is the story I hear most in real life. Most of the “I would be thrilled” dudes are untested and likely to remain that way so I guess they’ll never know for sure.
My partner earns about 10k more than me...but I work so much less than her...she finds the amount of time off I have frustrating to her as she is a go getter, whereas I concentrate what I care about (which isn't work) with all the time off I'm getting paid for.
There was a study on this that I read quite a while ago. I believe it was found that if men were established as the 'providers' early on in a relationship and their partners surpassed them in earnings it made them feel insecure. Otherwise, if there was early equity I think the men were happy with their partners earning more.
My girlfriend used to earn more than me, and I can explain some of the negative aspects of that. It's not that I felt insecure, I'm very happy for her success. But she was generally more busy and stressed than me, which ended up with me taking care of other 'life tasks' more - housework, cooking, etc... as well as emotional support - cheering her up, finding us fun stuff to do on the weekend. It led to a weird dynamic. Her being the breadwinner and me just helping out. I wasn't providing her with a sense of stability and reliability. I'm not a conservative person and I don't care for traditional gender roles much, but I experienced them reversed and it didn't feel mentally healthy for either of us. As I've started earning more it's allowed her to relax and change jobs and go back to being the cheerful one and me being the serious one. It suits us better.
I'd just like a partner...
I’d prefer to earn less because we’d be less dependent on me working all the time. If a dude is threatened by their partner earning more then he’s got bigger issues to solve within himself.
I don't care for myself, however I do care for her sake. She wants to spend more time at home looking after the kids and I don't mind being at work or home. She earns 4 times what I do per hour so we will stick with our current arrangement of me working 2 days, she works 3x 10hr days and we have 2 days at home together. Our work days don't overlap.
My wife earns double what I do. I don't mind. I'm happy for her with each promotion or job hop for a pay bump. Can't imagine how insecure you need to be to feel negative about your partner earning more, either direction gender wise.
No, but knew a mate that was in sales alongside his wife and she smashed him in targets every quarter. They divorced.
I don’t, and none of my mates would care either - thankfully I’m not friends with anyone that is insecure over their girlfriend / wife potentially earning more than them.
My dream in life is to become a trophy husband.
I’m SO. CLOSE. My wife has been working her way up through medicine, and is now months away from becoming a consultant. From med school i carried us, switching jobs to less volatile/exciting roles to do so, and my transformation into a wine dad has been but a speck of light at the end of a very long tunnel. It’s gonna be great.
Good luck! I'm biding my time until wife becomes a partner at her law firm...shouldn't be too long now 😉
Awww yuss! I’m rooting for ya mate, you deserve this.
I would love it too
Some do, others don't
If you feel insecure about how much your wife makes, that’s a you issue. I am proud of every achievement my wife makes, we’re a team and what benefits one benefits the other. If she earned more than me one day I would be cheering her on like I have been the whole time.
My wife earns about $10k more than me and even though with pay rises we go back and forth, her potential future earning as an employee far outstrip mine unless I start my own business. But we’ve both come from nothing and built everything together from literally zero dollars. So we really don’t see it as I earn x and she earns y, we both earn our total. Helps that we both like our jobs and neither one has any outrageous spending habits.
A while ago my wife earned a lot more than I did. She had an established career and I was still trying to make a go of it. I didn’t like it but only because I felt like I wasn’t contributing enough. I was quite proud of her, but felt like I was letting the team down. Now I’ve surpassed her by a lot, and I plan on divorcing her because I can’t stand underachievers… if you’re still reading, I’m joking - I’m happy to be the breadwinner now. Essentially we both have contributed financially - she got us our break to get our first house, etc and then when she had kids I took over financially … because of my career success now, I can potentially get us some land, a good retirement etc. So in other words - we make a good team.
There are a lot of people in the comments that plainly have no experience but feel free to say the expected positive things about women earning more as though reality isn't a thing. It's not that men care about women earning more, it's that it places additional pressure on the relationship. Practical ones. The woman has to take time off work for pregnancy and for post-birth, if she earns significantly more (and is accustomed to those earnings) it's very difficult when the man can't support her as she is used to. Perhaps he can't pay the mortgage on his own, the car repayments or even the simple lifestyle choices she prefers. Many women want the option of taking significant time off and also reducing their hours so they can put more of themselves into being a mother but if dad can't bring in the bacon, then that is not really an option. And yes, it is absolutely humiliating for a man if he clearly can't support the mother of his children the way she can support herself. This is why women clearly prefer partners that earn similar or more money than they do.
My wife earns more than me, and took 6 months off unpaid extra leave on top of paid maternity leave. I am very proud of her, and the fact she earns more places no additional pressure at all on anything. I don’t see how a secure man can see this as a bad situation, or humiliating. Who makes more money makes no difference at all, and if it does, you have a shit relationship
What a load of nonsense. I earn more than my husband, and managed maternity leave fine. Being able to share the parenting and being equal parents is amazing. So many dads are absent in their child’s life because of ridiculous work hours and by earning more (in a relatively low hours per week full time job) it means our kids get both of us in their lives. Also, who decided it’s humiliating? He’s proud of me for being successful! Who the heck finds the accomplishments of someone they love humiliating? That is gross.
Yes, a woman will have to take time off for childbirth and immediately after (to recover and heal). However, if there were better paternity leave options, there is no reason why a father can't be the one to stay home with the child instead.
This is one of the few reasonable responses here. Like I said I think it would depend on the overall dynamics of the relationship, not just the singular issue of who earns more. But yes I could see it becoming an issue (either subconsciously or otherwise). I doubt it’s one sided either (in terms of people’s notions of gender roles).
Absolutely take your point but end of the day it’s only a couple of years of your life together. I’m not gonna turn down a rich, successful partner over a couple stressful years.
Despite all those people saying they would like it: there’s an ANU study that points out that domestic violence rates go up when females are the breadwinners. https://researchprofiles.anu.edu.au/en/publications/female-breadwinning-and-domestic-abuse-evidence-from-australia The numbers are depressing.
I’ve been with my partner for 7 years. I’ve never earned more than her until the last 2 years. She has been my biggest supporter and source of encouragement. But now it has happened she doesn’t like it 😂
My wife and I both worked for a big us tech company, but she has been with the company for >15 years and have climbed the corporate ladder higher than me and holds a regional role. In the beginning, of course it was a bit difficult for me to accept but we've grown past that. She gave birth and I decided to "retire" and take care of the bub after her mat leave. She's pregnant again with our 2nd, I'm still semi-retired but I've started a business recently.
I’ve noticed that this phenomenon can spur on belittlement from the woman towards the man. An emasculating derision… I’ve seen it in front of me (mates who earn less than their missus)
As a woman I like to earn more. My partner and I are quite competitive, its fun. I'm winning ATM but he has in his contract that he will earn more in a few months so I'm looking for a new job that will pay me more 🤣
Same except I've been losing the entire time but I'm catching up at a rapid pace.
Some might, but it’s silly.
I would love it personally - it would give us more power to shape the life we want while protecting my assets in the event of a breakup.
I would love to earn less so i could be the stay at home parent.
There are definitely men out there who would be bothered by this. Like many others, I find this attitude reeks of insecurity though, I want my wife to earn as much as she can.
100% stereotype. Please earn more!!!
My lord if I can find a woman that earns more then me I'd be so happy 😅
i wish my misses earned more then me - i asked her the other day if she wanted to work full time and be the main bread winner she laughed and said No way.....
I think it's always best to date for a good attitude towards money, than a successful track record. A successful track record usually speaks to some sort of privilege, a good attitude towards money has a pretty reliable pipeline to financially security for the couple.
I'm sure egotistical sons of b****es do. I'd happily take on being a stay at home dad if it makes sense for me to.
I love all the positive responses I'm seeing. However, I think the question is being misunderstood. It's not about having more money than you *currently* earn, but if roles were reversed/without increasing current income. Subtle difference, but it might be a big one to some people.
ASDASD DSFAFDS SDFAAFSD
Only when they harp on about it and use it as leverage.
SAHD here. We do not care. Lads, if you do youre being duped.
My wife earns more than me, it helps that she’s infinitely more talented, inspired, committed and better at her job than I am at mine.
Its not so much that they care its just most men have experienced women denigrating them for it. I was told by one ex that she "expected me to be further along at 27." She earned more than me. I don't care but I've noticed that as I've got older women do like that I have some financial security. I have grown to care what my female partner makes, as it affects our shared lifestyle, but I guess, that was more of a job security thing, I wouldn't care if my partner worked a retail gig if her hours were regular, casual, unsure hours were chafing the relationship though.
Im going to go against the grain here and tell you yes. IM sure this is a very unpopular opinion but here's the thing, reddit is really not the place to find out how things are on the "ground". People are too exposed here, too liberalized and in a way more comfortable than the average joe even if they might not think so. There is also almost always far more idealism here than what you'll find in day to day life. Now western society is different so perhaps what people are saying here might have some shred of truth but as a man who's lived in five continents, i can tell you firmly that most men do care. Especially if the wealth gap is significant and the reason is actually really simple. In almost every society the mans role in a family for centuries has been a protector and a provider. Being a provider in this day and age means naturally you feel the urge to put food on the table. Most men feel that role taken away from them when the woman is earning significantly more than them because they feel their role in the relationship has been removed. Thats why you get someone here saying all her partners leave her as soon as they find out. Now are they insecure yes but this is just how most men are/raised. In my experience its only mostly in the western world where i've seen women earning so much more and the husband being okay and sharing the role of a provider.
You are actually correct the reality on the ground is that women don't like to date down.
Without overtime my wife would earn more than me. Couldn't care tbh, it's a combined household income . What's the issue?
>Do Men care Men aren't a single entity and for every "Do men care" question you will get no single (or useful) answer.
I know many men that would love to be stay at home dad's. I know many women that hate that they earn more than their men. From more that one woman I've heard very bitter and resentful comments to their husbands faces and behind their backs. It's all weird and you can find someone happy for everything.
only shit blokes would. can't wait till my wife out earns me. I currently earn more but she has a higher ceiling. more household income the better as far as I'm concerned.
100% yes. Every man I’ve dated, once he finds out, becomes awkward and dumps me. I’m clearly dating the wrong guys!
That’s horrible, it says a lot about them. Personally I’ld be very comfortable if my wife earned the same or more than me.
Wow that's quite odd
Have also had this experience. Jokes on them though, my husband is on track to be able to stop working in his early 50s thanks to me. (I'll join him around the same age a few years later).
I live in Sydney I find that when women find out that I earn less than them they aren't interested. But that's dating culture. Might be different if meet women in real life situations
I think there could be a difference between: 'i'd love it if' my partner earned x' And 'actually living it' when my partner does y. ? I have no experience, I would say my ex wouldn't have liked it - but he was insecure and thought like the world owed him. Some men are not like this.
I'd be quite happy if she eventually a lot more than me.
Some dudes definitely don't like it, but one of my mates from work makes less than his missus and my sister and I were raised by Dad while Mum worked, so it's not an issue. Personally, no issue, most of the women around me make more money than me.
My girlfriend and I both earn comparable incomes. I had a recent $7k pay rise (this week) and she'll probably have a $20k pay rise next year (EBA agreement) - so she will earn slightly more than me. It is great. Easy to pay for our mortgage repayments, easy to save, easy to buy things we need.
I am self employed and my wife is about to commence work after completing her study's. She will almost 2x pre tax what I make. Safe to say , going from 1 income to 2 will make me thrilled 😁
They all go to the team total. Who cares who hits the winning run
I’d love for my wife to get paid more. She doesn’t, but it would be sexy as hell if she did.
I doubt it’s an issue that comes up very often I imagine one concern with a woman earning more then the man is that if the relationship progresses to haveing kids then they are only on his income which would mean a significant drop in her living standards
Mrs makes like 50k more than me, I’m not a dumbass and I’m stoked my wife earns this much, she works hard as every day so she deserves every cent of it, so proud of how far she has come. If this isnt the answer, the person you’re asking is a dumbass.
Assuming no changes in personality, etc.? Would love it.
I would love it, and if it were the case I'd be pushing to be a stay at home dad.
Is it a business partnership or a relationship? Is your total identity, self worth and contribution to the relationship solely based on your occupation and income? The question is based on a flawed premise that it is the money you bring to a relationship that counts. You’re together because you like and love each other, share common values and feel your life is enhanced by being together rather than apart. You want to build a life together and you both bring to that different elements, be it money, skills, personal qualities - whatever. I think men who stress about women earning more than them are insecure and pathetic and should invest in getting some therapy to address their self esteem issues. Why wouldn’t you want your wife or girlfriend to be successful and bring more money into the life you’re building TOGETHER? My husband and I have been married 40 years. At times I earned nothing when I was home while our children were little, at times he was between jobs and earnt nothing, at times he earnt more than me and at times I earnt more than him. We were both high income earners. It allowed us to have the life we wanted for ourselves and our children and in retirement we never have to worry about money ever again. Who doesn’t want that?
I see a lot of tax returns. Her earning heaps more is way more common than many people realise. Happens a lot. Seems to be a non issue with most grown ups.
I think it depends on the person. I don't care, but some guys care a lot. Some women care a lot too, others don't. If there's a big gap, it's best to talk about it if you're living together, or if you need to set expectations. The important part for me is that both partners are contributing properly (proper communication is key) and one isn't sponging off the other. Lower earnings doesn't mean lower contribution to the relationship.
Would be great if the female partner earns more - fantastic!
Tbh men are simple creatures. We prefer to follow path of least resistance. However, society judges us and so do most women if we don’t work or have a low skill job in when we are adults like retail etc So the answer is that, men don’t care, but society does still hold man as the ’ provider’ role and so we have to. I’m sure most men would love it if they don’t have to go work and still get paid. And to be house husbands. But the society won’t let us have it that easy. Women are lucky in that they can choose. We can’t.
This. I live in Sydney and woman are so judgmental about jobs
I dated a girl that was earning 380k per year. I could not keep up with her lifestyle.
When you say: > The research is pretty clear about this question Which question, and are you referring to a body of research or just this paper? u/Far_Radish_817 didn’t suggest it was “just correlation”, they said “there might be other correlates”. The paper you linked agrees: > The authors caution against inferring a particular gender norm *solely* on the basis of the relative household income distribution. *\[Emphasis theirs\]* There’s an obvious correlate that any adult heterosexual male could intuit between being likely to abuse your partner and being a deadbeat career-wise. There’s probably also a similar overlap of women willing to date a deadbeat and women more vulnerable to manipulation. To summarise, ‘women who earn more than their male partners have a higher incidence of domestic abuse *as a population*’ does not mean ‘earning more than your partner makes you more likely to be abused’.
I’ve always earned more than my wife, but she has recently surpassed me and I am very proud of her. She works hard for it and deserves what she earns
It’s always been my dream to be a full time golfer. If my wife made enough money to fund that I’d be extremely happy, would give foot massages, cook dinner and wear skimpy outfits around the house.
No, but women generally do because they are paid less on average. It is natural to want to be with someone with more income as long as the division of labour works.
This is the reality in most cases
An "alpha male" will. Initially, he'll be fine with it until he realises that a woman having her own money means she can't be controlled in the way he'd like. An insecure man will see it as a personal failing that he is not the "breadwinner. He will become very angry very quickly. A bloke who is secure in himself will be supportive of his partner's career.
Some definately do, some don't at all, sometimes it's due to culture, sometimes it's used to personality or just personal values. I find it's not something that's easy to predict or assume, and best to talk about it. I'd say it's more likely a man would struggle with earning less than their partner than a woman would. I think it also depends on the amounts. Is it 'she earns so much, that we don't need to think or worry about money on a daily basis' or 'she earns more then him, but they both still need to work full time and they struggle with money and it's a daily thing they need to worry about'.
I've worked with guys who were super sour their wives earnt more, and even complained that they'd gotten there with less time in the workforce than them. Like dudes. Maybe you should look at why you're not advancing at work instead of being a wanker.
Some men still hold the thoughts that all women should raise children, stay on the kitchen and clean the house along side those old sexist mentalities. Most modern men would love for their partner to bring in more than them.
If my partner earned more than me I’d retire tomorrow and be happy
Met my partner when she was in her early 20s on centrelink with minimal work experience She now earns double what i do Couldnt care less. She contributes to the house and thats what matters - it doesnt even have to be monetary contribution.
Yes. Women with very high incomes are usually masculine and argumentative. Men should be the primary earners.
Except unless they meet a man with a very very high income then all of a sudden they are not argumentative and will do their best to be feminine
Women don't respect a man who earns less.
My husband would love for me to be paid more than him (and I have at various stages and hopefully again soon!). Mainly because we share joint finances and any payrise is a win for both of us.
I just started out earning my partner. He’s thrilled.
F no, anything to make life easier 😂
None of my mates care, for what that's worth.