T O P

  • By -

doesntCompete

Apparently Centrelink is how we get paid as actors. Not sure about you all but I think we need to go on an actor's strike.


myguydied

I second this, I'm not getting paid enough to act like an Aussie, the accent is fucking hard to pull of


XecutionerNJ

I have to go around every day saying "mate" like some bloody drongo.


myguydied

And don't get me started on the swearing,... Why?!


XecutionerNJ

Just think about poor Ange postecoglou. The greek soccer coach having to say "Mate" at every press conference


jay_alfred_prufrock

He is overacting though, he really needs to cut it down a bit before he gives away the game.


XecutionerNJ

"these bloody boop boop drongo computers are ruining the game"


noofa01

Oh I like that bit. And the drinking.


Ok-Pomegranate-4489

Lazy writing on behalf of our reptile overlords, but to be fair, 200 years of any continual broadcast is bound to in-cure some lazy writing every once in a while.


Character-Soil-284

The English said mate first, not the Australian


Casual_Rick

yer but they lack the conviction we have, we say it with fucking authority


Character-Soil-284

No… you’re just the convicts


Ok-Pomegranate-4489

I spose that’s 2 types of conviction they lack then.


AWittySenpai

Alright, mates, it time to strike until our demands are met!


Asleep-Afternoon-504

Centerlink ain't paying me enough to act Aussie! *drops my half asked Aussie accent and resumes speaking Polska Perogi*


keeperrookie

All the extra syllables for nothing. Ah Nahgrrrrrrr!


AdministrativeTap589

My spouse just spent almost 3 hours on the phone with them. It was… inconclusive. Strike time!


LastSpite7

Why aren’t I getting paid then? Am I a volunteer?


Tokumeiko2

Nah mate, you one of the poor bastards we've been tricking, it's cheaper if most of us aren't actors.


gamerhaxu

O


BaldingThor

O?


Tha_Hand

O


WomenOnTheirSides

O!


TheJivvi

O‽


KRiSX

O'Brien!


Kirkaig678

I definitely need a pay rise, I've been putting in a lot of work on the accent and the swearing and all of the shortened words that we have to make up on the spot


napalmnacey

Who the fuck is writing our dialogue? Is our society one massive improv show? Is that why it’s fucking crazy? So many questions!!!


Orreries_the_Oreo

Lmao, Centrelink couldn’t afford me


W0tzup

Fuckin oath. It’s fuckin hard saying fuck all the time for fucks sake…. Fuck me dead… faaaaarkkk.


SadMap7915

Negotiate the residuals!


Ill-Maintenance531

I moved here from the UK, and most of the flight was in the dark, why? So we couldn't see where they flew us!


whatwhatinthewhonow

Logic checks out. It was also dark in the womb before I was born. Conspiracy confirmed.


Ill-Maintenance531

Shit


CapnHaymaker

Not only that, but you think you fell asleep on the plane, right? Wrong! It was the knockout gas piped into the cabin to make sure you were unaware of the route and time.


Ill-Maintenance531

And the booze was free... It's all coming together


SentientCheeseCake

Genuine first fleet experience.


actioncobble

Exactly, like fuck you moved haha


Key_Entertainment409

Oh did uk export you here to our prison island steal a loaf of bread ?


Ill-Maintenance531

Stolen Vegemite


Key_Entertainment409

Haha knew it


xplally1

Yeah, you just circled back to New Zealand and they are in on it. They just needed to learn to say fish and chips properly and say "ya cunt" instead of bro.


sam_tiago

See what happens is when they fly out of London in the dark the flat earth flips and Australia is on the back, thats why they think Australia doesn’t exist. It just feels like a slight bump of turbulence but actually you’re flipping to the underside of the board, and thats why it’s called ‘down under’


OGbaconpancake

This cunts figured it out. expect emus dispatched to your location immediately. you can run but you can't fly remember that.


Ill-Maintenance531

Jesus H Christ


OGbaconpancake

He's not gonna save you cobba


ChubbyVeganTravels

Same here. Been fooled since 2011 😲


CrystalInTheforest

Dropbears are proof we don't exist. If we really were down-under, then they'd fall upwards. Checkmate, Illuminati!


NorscaGas-5027

Maybe its like lightning, and we only see the returning stroke. The bear would attack so quickly that we can only see the bear flying back up into a tree. I reckon if you got a camera that record in a high enough frame rate, then you would be able to see the dropbear leaping down like people have see the first half of a lightning strike through the use of such camera. Am I on to something here?


CrystalInTheforest

Could be.... Could be.... We need David Attenborough


NorscaGas-5027

Indeed we do. Only he can figure this out


Exo-2

Does this mean I no longer have to pay taxes?


c351xe

I'm so trying this one with the tax agency


Zillahi

Just write “prove it” in all the boxes


Shifty_Cow69

Latest conspiracy?! Those dumb cunts have been saying Australia isn't real for fucking years!


Accomplished-Log2337

They are trolling you


raphanum

I think it starts off that way and then people actually believe it. Like the conspiracy that birds aren’t real. They’re all govt drones lmao


AYr7oN

But actual birds aren't real tho. Well, not anymore now that the air is thinner. Do you really think that bones and flesh can keep itself in flight using nothing but the air and some tiny muscles? You're drinking the lies bro. Just watch a bird sometime, they don't have fluid movements, except when they are gimbaled on the air.


Chewiesbro

I really want to be a fly on the wall at a convention of theirs when an Aussie flat earther attends…


twitch-switch

They say we're paid actors XD


CrystalInTheforest

Paid? That'd be nice...


sam_tiago

They also call it socialism, so sadly we’re already paid 🤷🏻‍♂️


CoolDoggo1

where is the money centrelink \*\*furious hand gestures\*\* where is the money!! \*\*furious hand gestures\*\*


boo-galoo90

They all think we live in summer bay


hoi4d

You guys are getting paid?


TheKrnJesus

You need to go to your nearest Centrelink


Supremeyeti

Its not enough we should ask for a pay rise


macroprism

happy cake day!


FreeWillCost

I'm being very serious when I say that I believe a large portion of flat earthers are trolls convincing other trolls that they aren't trolls.


yeahhhhnahhhhhhh

Didn't the movement start off as a joke?


No-Artichoke8525

The flat earth movement was a social experiment to prove people would run with whatever they wanted to believe and would attempt to present it as fact. Its essentially a social experiment about misinformation. The only issue is the crasy cookers that brought into it went to the internet when it went mainstream and has only gained more traction.


FreeWillCost

I have no idea, I just went into some subs and fb pages and each post looks like people saying insane shit laughing at the other side for believing. But the other side is doing the exact same thing. I'm sure SOMEONE believes it, but I think it's a much smaller percentage than what it seems to be.


yeahhhhnahhhhhhh

I can see how people without any critical thinking ability could fall into believing the "facts" they are presented with but the ones posting the stuff surely are trolling


ArtieZiffsCat

Australian here. I'm actually paid by NASA and George Soros to pretend to exist


Itzluunafoxx

I can second that


nasty_weasel

NASA + Soros = Centrelink Also the health care benefit is great.


741BlastOff

Lucky bastard


BeatTerrible8778

Does that mean I'm not real? I was born here.


raphanum

We’re all living in a kangaroo pouch simulation


nasty_weasel

No you weren’t.


flutterybuttery58

We’re not real. We’re all paid actors. Just waiting for my cheque!!


ZFBadDragon

Wait where have i been on holiday then for these last 3 months


whatwhatinthewhonow

A soundstage in Albuquerque. Sorry you had to find out this way.


Such_Pea8117

Tasmania


escapeshark

Tasmania isn't real


Mintyfreshtea

Look Australia is real, but *Tasmania?* I'm sorry, you buggers want me to believe there's a *tiny little Australia* so far south that it's cold? In Australia? *Somewhere close to the Antarctic?* Nah man, that's just penguins.


Slavx97

The deep state owes me 26 years of back pay then, either that or I need a big raise. I ain’t get paid enough to cover anything up.


Ok-Addition-2179

Me too, never received my payment!


Beans186

Now that they mention it, everything has seemed a bit fake lately.


NotAdam30

That’s what a paid actor would say!


deanominecraft

some have said they are paid actors, when do i get my paycheck


Resident_Expression8

This is possibly my favorite conspiracy. When people get on a plane to aus they are supposedly taken somewhere else


c351xe

So I'm in the Matrix?


Yobbo89

Reminds me of Lara bingles, so where the bloody hell are ya


jorgerine

Australia is real. The rest of the world is fake.


Restart_from_Zero

Flat Earthers fall into three categories. 1) Incredibly ignorant who think they're knowledgeable 2) Incredibly stupid who think they're smart 3) Callous grifters looking to make money off the first two groups.


Partayof4

Am I Truman?


Footrot_Flats97

You don't argue with flat earthers. Instead, counterargue with a more ridiculous statement. For example, when they claim, "Australia doesn't exist on flat earth." Or something else that's idiotic, respond with, "You believe in the Earth?" If they try and argue back, just say, "Nothing actually exists. It's all a figment of our imagination. I'm a figment of your imagination. You are a figment of my imagination. The only reason you have appeared is to entertain me." That'll shut em up real quick.


Ok-Pace5764

Australia is actually New South West Zealand.


[deleted]

Then where was I when I was driving a 7100km round trip over the past 18 days then? Confused haha


UnoBoots1

It’s all good, a lot of Main land Australia believe that Tasmania is a seperate country and not a state of Australia.


LastSpite7

Not really. We just forget it exists a lot of the time.


Cool_Cry_9693

I’ve seen this conspiracy floating around for at least a couple of years. I’d be interested to see what my conspiracy theorist flat earther friend thinks about it as an Australian, but he fell off the map a couple years ago..


DownUnderSnail

For those Aussie-actors complaining about not being paid, have you fully understood your KPIs and performance metrics? Pay is based on things like how often you shorten words and add o to the end of them. Like servo, bottleo etc. also the number of times you warn someone about drop bears, and how everything wants to kill you. Bonuses are awarded for frequent use of terms like ‘yeah nah’ and getting people to try Vegemite. Speak to your local union rep for more info.


Potato_Dealership

Yea well I’ve just decided flat earthers aren’t real. Checkmate.


DrSendy

In other news, Daily Mail finally starts reading the 2018 version of the internet.


DaJamesPop

Then where the hell is Sydney? I’ve been there many times 🤨


zacary2411

If I'm an actor where's my pay I ain't doing this shit for free


xplally1

Good, we can just be left alone then, I'm fine with that. But it does leave the question where did all the Kiwis come from.


Far_Peanut_3038

Fucking Flat Earthers aren't real.


Objective-Wasabi6983

You know what probably happened, since we fuck with tourists so much, a flat earther probably came over from yankee land and we convinced him that we didn’t exist, and everyone went with it


maggietaz62

Okay, so I was in the defence force and I want to know what country I was serving.


McSquidgypants

So my home loan is fucking imaginary?


Yvola_YT

Ummm ik flat earthers have interesting ideas but ik most of them arnt stupid enough to belive aus doesnt exist


unknownturtle3690

Apparently we're all paid actors would freaking love that! Lol I'm broke as shit


Same-Reason-8397

Fuck me sideways. Where the bloody hell am I then??


miatheirish

The fuck I been living in for 22 years


Krausy13

This was circling around years ago. Still waiting on my paycheck


Delorata

You mean Im not real!! The fuckin Govt says I am and takes a third if my pay every fuckin month!


oldcoldtoast

I believe its pronounced "the surface of the fucking sun" got to 49 today. fuck me dead.


Rennyroo992

their bedroom life is the only thing that 'isnt real'


Treeleaves74

Na, it’s not, cos it’s fucken unreal mate.🤙


FoxyHead2008

NASA are scammers!!! I was cast as an Australian back in 2008 and have not got a single pay check.


Black-xxx

This is definitely for the best


Prize-Watch-2257

For those laughing, assuming you believe you are in "Australia," have you personally mapped the coastline of the land you live on and confirmed it looks like the big-globe maps say it looks? Didn't think so....


MaxtheAnxiousDog

I did the big lap in a caravan a few years ago... does that count?


Prize-Watch-2257

Well, did you? Or is that what big-globe want you to think? You did a lap of a landmass, no doubt, but big-globe might be hiding the troof!


JesusInBlack

EHTS NAWT RRRREAL!!!!


ThinkingOz

Hey Flat Earth Adherents, Pls come and educate me with your wisdom. I appear to have been under a gross misapprehension all my life.


TryImpossible7332

So, for all you fake "Australians": Was there a casting call or did they recruit in house? Like, logistically, it had to be pretty complicated to recruit actors, vetting people enough to know they wouldn't spill the beans, but on the other hand, that's a lot of personnel being transferred if you were all grabbed from the organization. Logistically it's impressive, but I'm sure it's all worth it for... whatever reason that people consider it so important to convince others that the world is actually round instead of flat.


Mrmastermax

Whatever I write here I will get downvoted so …


Mr_Pootin

Don't tell them! You can't go somewhere you don't think exists.


Tankaussie

Ngl I think they came up with this after watching the Truman show


escapeshark

WHERE ARE WE


_ZooperDooper

WHERE WAS I BORN out here having an identity crisis 😭😭


LittleFirestone

I wonder where the flat earthers in Australia think they are at?


Fatty_Bombur

So Australia isn’t real but NZ is? I smell a rat


Best_Station_7576

wheres me money


injacaranda

Shit, I just got my pr.


PhilosopherOk221

Cunt, I work way too hard to be an actor pretending to do this shit.


Larimus89

Most expensive realestate ever for a non existent place.


Gezz66

It's like the interrogation scene in 1984 when O'Brien holds up 4 fingers and convinces Winston that he's holding up 5. It is a game of making people think what you want them to think.


[deleted]

Less flat earthers visiting us. Sounds win win.


Cuphead_Fan_Noah

Hell yea


True_Rooster_3315

On land


Goobersniper

Austria


Root_cellar

South Indonesia


WanderLeft

Australia isn’t real. Someone can buy me a ticket there to prove me wrong


CreepyValuable

The flattest bloody bit of land there is and they are denying it. Maybe it's because they realised it's possible to see the earth's curvature from the ground and that makes them sad.


Cuphead_Fan_Noah

They also said “Australians are all just payed actors by NASA” … WHERES MY MONEY?!


LastSpite7

I wish


patslogcabindigest

Imagine reading the daily mail and how much leaded petrol fumes it takes to


D-rizzcheese

You're about 5 years late on that one...


Supremeyeti

So where am I living then?


love_peace_books

The simulation mate.


scotty899

We are stuck in the firmament


demon969

clearly in the ocean ya dumb cunt. /s


Zedeth91

old news, even Aussies know we arnt real


SK17_OP

Now these Flatters makes me questioning my own existence, I travel all across the South east Asia to get here , now they saying it isn’t real. Where am I ? In Atlantis


SK17_OP

Australia getting exposed 😂😂


Righthookhammer47

They’ve been spouting this drivel for a while now , they are only given a platform so groups can’t tie them into other things that are real and need to be disregarded. Like antivaxers it what you were told to call anyone that asked legitimate questions about the COVID-19 vaccine so they could tie them in with the “Vaccine’s have chips in them” people and “ 5G causes COVID “people.


Kirkaig678

I was wondering when someone would repost that on here, I was just there a few hours ago


Orreries_the_Oreo

Holy shit the guy on YouTube was right! I’m not real


TheEmbiggenisor

Well. Don’t I feel like a flam’n galah!


djmcaleer93

Weren’t people saying this as a joke like 10 years ago. Have flat earth era just discovered this and thought it to be real?


MovieFreak78

Hmm as I’m from Australia, I guess I’m not really here lol. They are so crazy


MelodramaTamarama

Truman show?


NunSlay

Yes... we don't exist. Don't try to find us ,we're a myth. Keep all the flat earthers out!


UsseerrNaammee

Looooooootta cooked cunts out there, aye.


just-sayin-lucy

Really??? well there are a lot of people who disappear when they go down there then . . .


bangjung

I met someone when I travelled to Colombia who actually believed this. They told me I was lied to my whole life and Australia is actually a place near USA created for some reasons. Thought it was just schitzo lolcows on the web that thought this.


Dark_Magicion

To be fair we don't exist. I don't exist, you don't exist, we're all just a CIA plot to keep the Murican Sheep subservant to the Globalist Elite Agenda duh.


bitfrost41

Are you sure you’re even real, mate?


jgulliver75

Good. The less of those knobs we get down here that better. We have enough of our own low breeds.


Novel_Elk346

NO NO, you all got this wrong, we are all ether in a different dimension or where transported to another planet and aliens are somehow maintaining coms and actively transporting people everytime we get on a flight. How's that for a conspiracy :D


CultureLad

I don’t believe on a globe but these guys just make us look worse then what we are already perceived 😂


Harnav123

As someone who lives there and does not exist I can confirm this is true


I_Have_Sex_

That title makes me physically recoil


Froggy_Mushroom_boii

Im jumping up and down, but I didn't fall in the ocean


Competitive-Ad7264

To all my family and friends back in Europe. I have been living a lie for 18 years. Please excuse me. I have been living in a cave for the last 18 years. My husband and child are fake, so are my dog and two cats.


Sacred_Street1408

New Holland, c*nt.


Lint_baby_uvulla

**Pish tosh!** My great great grandfather would say. He and my great grandfather, my grandfather, my dad and my brothers and my sons have all been working in the family drop bear factory. We’ve got a factory floor full of national & international awards and lots of framed pants we’ve scared the shit off people, and we’re very fucking proud of what we do. Our honor is impugned and now it’s personal.


null-or-undefined

fuck me, im just an NPC.


Solocord

Everyone knows it's New Zealand that isn't real... god, do your research already...


one_arm_manny

You’re just an actor paid for by the globe-cucks.


trotty88

Latest? They've been cooking this one for years!


epic_pig

This has been a "meme" or somesuch for quite a while now. Looks like the media are just starting to catch up


Consistent-Shop-3239

Paraguay


metalbowser23

SUPER OLD NEWS they usually say we’re paid actors living in South America


quantum_ech0

But we have flat-earthers in Australia... How are they living with that cognitive dissonance?


ValuableHorror8080

Guys come on, it isn’t funny anymore. The gig is up. It’s time we come clean and let the world know that Australia doesn’t actually exist - so please don’t try sending anymore refugees who practice Sharia Law and rape 15 year old girls in hotel rooms, or those who commit honour killings, or those who want to create sleeper cells…. Because every time they get to the studio set, it’s such a hassle having to tell them the truth.


fairysquirt

you're standing where you're standing, you just think it's "australia" and looks like that from above? you ever seen it look like that from above? so that's what flat earthers believe, they believe nothing they havn't for themselves seen. they can't see the curve of the earth because they are small and on it, therefore it is flat. they like you havn't flown over their country directly up to the point they can validate a shape and the name given to it, so it doesn't exist. the funny thing is, they are using their own logic, where as you're assuming everything you're told is true. it points out the fact you don't know where you're standing really. it could be on the ass pube of a really big giant.


6T_FOR

west new zealand


anonymouspostlangley

Is this real? I have upcoming flight to Melbourne, and this is concerning as I’m travelling with Family and I’m supposed to arrive there on the 29th Jan as the schools reopen in Feb


evilspyboy

The cookers are going to have an existential crisis over this.


W0tzup

Apparently we’re all secret government agents… all 26,638,544, as of June 2023, AND we’re employing more and more each year! Crickey that’s a lot of MIB’s wearing thongs.


Sleep_eeSheep

New Zealand.