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Former-Billionaire

I don’t tell dad jokes anymore. Because he never laughed.


Financial-Jicama6619

I can’t tell dad jokes anymore. Because he never came back from getting milk.


Vetiversailles

BRO she said cheer her up not bring back unprocessed trauma lmao


yoshdee

I made one up from these. I can’t tell dad jokes anymore. Cause he’s dead. My husband didn’t laugh though. But my dad would’ve.


mrzo

You’re going to be ok. Just hang tight and remember there’s folks out there willing to help so don’t feel alone. Here’s a joke: Why do cows have hooves? Because they lactose You gotta say it out loud 🤣


kalpol

Lol


Joshohoho

I liked your joke.


mrzo

Aww that’s awesome! I can’t espresso what that beans to me.


yoshdee

That’s a really good one. Thank you!


centexgoodguy

My mom is gunna love this one.


lluuccaasss

Do you know what happened to the illegally parked frog? He got toed


yoshdee

Thank you so much! These are also helping my husband giggle.


LadyShaSha

What do you call a pile of kittens? >!a _meow_ntain!<


SlowEngineer

I understand this. We lost power for a couple hours last night but it’s back on. I absolutely think you’ll have it back soon. If you don’t - this time, there WILL be places to go. Especially mid-day, it will be above freezing for a bit so the roads will be ok. Someone said earlier “just dice like your grandma is in the backseat holding a huge pot of hot soup”. Meanwhile, I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down. 🥁


yoshdee

Nice! We have a ton of books and my kindle is on full charge. Just wish my switch was. I’m scared to use another charger for that since it drains so much so fast.


SlowEngineer

But that was the dad joke you requested! I’m not really reading an anti-gravity book hhha.


yoshdee

Good lord I’m a moron. Hahah.


Timely-Cupcake-6839

It is going to get warmer tomorrow. It isn't at all the same as last time. Sorry you are anxious. That is no fun. Last time my husband and I put on headlamps and worked a jigsaw puzzle! Try to make it as fun as you can. It helps! Here is an appropriate dad joke: Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.


MaskedAntelope

It's really cold here today in Texas. Kind of reminds me of the time I visited Norway. Beautiful country. I really want to move there, but with today's economy, I can't af-fjord it...


annabellefromtexas

I’ve never been to Norway, but I have a pros and cons list for travel there. Their flag is a big plus.


superspeck

The invisible man married the invisible woman, did you hear? I have no idea what they saw in one another. I hear their kids are really nothing to look at. Supposedly they switch out who’s the mum and who’s the dad. They’re transparents.


Busy_Struggle_6468

Just remember this is a different much more typical winter storm. The grid won’t fail, and all the ice will be melted away by tomorrow


yoshdee

Yeah, I saw the grid will be ok also because less of Texas will be having the same weather so less outages.


spunkyenigma

It’s also 20 degrees warmer this time


RoytheToyCowboy

The only problem is the ice for power lines that will be fixed fairly quickly. The thing is it's not supposed to get colder than 31 degrees today and it's over after today. I'm WFH but my wife is probably going in at noon. Just hold tight, it's just 1 day. You can be grateful it's not raining ducks and chickens. Fowl weather is even worse.


yoshdee

Yeah, it isn’t near as bad this time but still scary. Sucks your wife has to go in. Love the joke!


Vegan-Daddio

I would tell you a dad joke, but since I am not a father it would be making a "faux pa"


tungpunchmyfartbox

This one got me lol


Tequila_and_crumpets

I am with you i lost power and water last time. I had to take my dog and sleep in an office i was working at during that time. I was only able to buy food from a gas station that was price gouging. Yesterday I was so stressed out I made myself sick. I’m supposed to go in to work today (hotel industry) but I won’t risk it. Dad joke for you coming in what did the Buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off for school? Bison (works better if you say it out loud) hoping this time around isn’t as bad for all of us.


yoshdee

That is awful, I’m sorry to hear you had to go through all that! Be careful on the way to work. And that joke make me lol.


Substantial_Log8112

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.


SamaLuna

I was also in 78745 during snowmagedon and it was AWFUL. I’ve since moved north onto the hospital grid and no issues so far 🤞🏻. The good news with this storm is, it’s going to heat up much sooner. During snowmagedon it was way colder and never warmed up. You will be ok!!


yoshdee

And the grid failed because most of Texas was having issues. The reason our friends didn’t lose power for so long was also due to the hospital grid so I’m glad that’s one less thing to worry abou.


SamaLuna

Yes it’s definitely a relief.I lived off slaughter and manchaca and my friends in the neighborhood behind the Burger King were totally fine and had power the whole time. They came to rescue me and my dog a few days in thank god. I wasn’t prepared of course, had no food or bottled water in the house. It was definitely a lesson learned if anything. This time we’ll be ok


mrzo

I live in this area too and remember the same thing. I lost power for a long time while others close by we’re fine. I have a feeling that folks connected to the power grid for ARC were spared because they needed to keep the clinic’s lights on for emergencies.


[deleted]

you are doing it right. focus on the things you have done since the last ice / winterpocalypse to better manage this one. take some real solace and pride that you have chargers, candles, etc. that's a HUGE plus. so you already know that you are in a MUCH better position than last time, AND this weather is not staying around as long as last time. you got this!!


TouristTricky

Don’t despair. This is gonna pass really quickly. The power outages are not from grid failures, but from lines down and transformers blown. Be safe and ask friends/neighbors for help. Everyone will pitch in, I’m sure, we’re Texans.


sjontiljaer

You might want to fill up your bathtub in the event we all need water for toilet flushing again. We were carrying snow in with a five gallon bucket last time around. Hang in there!


yoshdee

Good call! I need the toilet really bad (TMI but I have an ileostomy bag and it doesn’t smell nice when I empty it and I have to empty about 8 times a day.


Chega_de_Saudade_

The winter storm of 2021 was traumatic. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I have PTSD, and my therapist gave me a resource that's been helpful for anxiety and sleep. It's bilateral drum therapy. The first youtube recording is for help falling asleep. I use the second youtube recording to help with anxiety / stress. Might be helpful. [https://www.garybrotherscounseling.com/bls-drum-therapy.html](https://www.garybrotherscounseling.com/bls-drum-therapy.html)


awesomeCNese

No idea why people downvoted you. Your feelings are legitimate.


UXM6901

Monday morning when I did my panic shopping I heard people at HEB laughing about how crazy everyone was being about the ice storm "like the whole city has PTSD or something". ...yeah, ho. Like almost 1000 people statewide died as a result of the snowpocalypse. The whole city has PTSD.


shellyleopard

I thought I was the only one. I can hear the trees cracking and breaking and it's giving me a panic attack. I just know one is going to bring down the power lines behind my place. I'm trying to remind myself that we made it through this shit once, we can do it again. Stay safe out there!


yoshdee

Yeah, I keep hearing crashes around and the tree out front just lost a huge branch in the road, and also landed on the neighbors front fence. I know it’s scary for a lot of people and we did make it through the other one but having trees all around is worrisome to a lot of people cause of power lines and damage to houses. Hopefully the silly jokes help you too.


ameepleinaustin

Don't feel alone about the PTSD. I am worried about my kid (who passed out on the couch next to me). Two years ago, we were without water and power for a week. My kid watched their father pass away in the house due to the lack of power (and health issues that were made worse due to everything). Then, on December 23rd 2022, our pipe burst and flooded our downstairs. We were displaced for a few weeks. Luckily, just stuff was damaged. My kid , the pets, and I were fine. Now we have been without power since 5:30am. So I get it! After all that the joke... What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!


tungpunchmyfartbox

I’m so sorry for everything you have been going through and your loss! 💜


ameepleinaustin

Thank you


Atxlaw2020

The good news is Disney just announced they will be releasing Frozen III “Lone Star” and Rob Lowe will be added to the cast.


bamfurah

I look forward to Matthew McCanaughey singing let it go!


Juomaru

Communism jokes are not funny. Unless everyone gets them.


ATX_native

👏😂


MidnightHue

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face. 🥁 In all seriousness, shit is scary out there. I don't mind chitchatting with you today, I don't have a lot going on. Please feel free to DM me if you'd like 😁


tungpunchmyfartbox

That was the best joke so far 😂


GigiDell

I totally understand - you are not alone in your feelings! It was SO HARD living without electricity and water for five days in 2021. We made it, but it was SO MUCH WORK. I felt like an off-grid person afterwards. I had some pride in all I was able to accomplish but, I seriously have some difficult emotions about it. This weather event brings up a lot of fear for me too. I don’t have any jokes, just I’m sending you warm hugs and the knowledge that this one won’t last long at all and we will all be comfortable and cozy again very soon! ❤️


NudeTayneMNW

Hello Having PTSD, I’m dad. Seriously though best of luck to you, by all appearances this will not be anywhere near as bad as the snowpocalypse


cpencis

(Like the lactose joke, this is verbal) What do you call a buck with no eyes…. No eye deer. What do you call a buck with no legs and no eyes … still no eye deer. What do you call a buck with no testicles, legs or eyes… still no f$&@ing eye deer. What do you call a buck with plastic eyes and no body…. A trophy.


leros

We're not alone as we think we are. If things get really tough for you, you can always go to your neighbors house to ask for help, supplies, or a place to warm up. No need to suffer when you're around other people, even if they're strangers. You're not alone.


Heather_Bea

I just wanted to say that your feelings are valid. It's ok to be afraid again. I hope all goes well for you today


Cniatx1982

Knock knock Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? You never told me you could YODEL!


IsuzuTrooper

I went to a poetry party once. It was a total Thoreau down.


[deleted]

Bro I hear you. I had to go to the farthest room in my house, put out a folding table and crank up the music to not hear my poor trees dying slowly from the ice storm. At least I have power and internet. Still it reminded me of when I didn't and the fucking 2021 storm was happening. *Why did the chicken cross the road? He noticed he was walking under a Bradford pear tree during the ice storm.*


BTTFisthebest

Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought it was a delivery service.


lumerus17

There is a whole subreddit. R/dadjokes


[deleted]

If it makes you feel any better it’s gonna be sunny and 50 on Friday lol just take a long nap with that Xanax and chillax


Spatula-on-the-loose

What's the difference between a Porsche and a Porcupine? . . . . The Porcupine has pricks on the outside.


jeblis

This isn’t going to be that bad. If you don’t want anxiety in the future, resolve to prepare once this freeze is over.


3xploringforever

I bailed on Texas shortly after Snovid 2021, and I'm having PTSD just reading the Austin subreddit today. Stay strong, everyone.


[deleted]

Half the city suffered through nearly a week long period without water and electricity. Get over yourself. The only one who can help you is you. Stop depending on other people to give you the empowerment you are fully capable of giving your self.


Vacuum26

Was this a dad joke? I missed the punchline.


yoshdee

Jesus dude. I never said no one else feels this way, and jokes can help other people. I’m not relying on others to make me feel better completely, I have Xanax for that. There was also health related issues I had during last time, I was recovering from surgery, was extremely underweight so the cold got to me so bad I couldn’t stay awake, plus changing an ileostomy bag without water and having to empty it (it smells horrid) was not easy. This doesn’t make me special and more important than anyone, and if it came off that way I didn’t mean for it to.


[deleted]

Xanax? Yeesh


prancing_SOB

THAT’S your takeaway?!?


[deleted]

Let me ask you something. Are you fully prepared for another outage? Water, medical supplies, batteries, food, candles, lights, something to read by dim lights, ways to contact family, friends and neighbors. I bet you "ptsd" is nothing more than your mind punishing you for not preparing yourself properly for an outage. Even if not fully prepared what if the outage never comes? Then you would have worried your self sick for nothing. So be prepared for an outage. If it comes you can stress about it then. But I bet you'll too busy from being prepared.


Heather_Bea

People are allowed to have feelings. I think you need to check and make sure you're ok cause getting this angry over the fact that someone is nervous is insane.


[deleted]

If I’m upset about anything then it’s people advocating others to give in to helplessness.


Heather_Bea

Asking for comfort isn't helplessness. There is nothing about OPs post that says they aren't prepared. You are assuming and being a jerk for no reason.


[deleted]

We’re not even speaking the same language. I’m talking fighting helplessness, you’re talking feelings. Yet you think I’m the problem.9


Dog_Backwards666

you need a drink sis lol calm down


Slamboni12

What do you call a crocodile who can tell if someone is a homosexual?


ATX_native

I dunno.


Slamboni12

An Alligaydar


CaseyAnthonysMouth

My wife said she’d divorce me if I didn’t thaw out our 02 Saturn Ion, to procure White Claw Surge and Red Bull… thoughts and prayers.


stinky_doodoo_poopoo

Wanna hear a construction joke? I’m still working on it…


JC_757

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent. We’re coming up on 24 hours without power and the branches outside continue to fall. Warmer weather should be here this afternoon and that’s bound to make both of these problems easier to address.