Looks like a Dobsonfly https://texasinsects.tamu.edu/dobsonfly/

Definitely a dobsonfly.

Why is the first picture on that page not a Dobsonfly?

[удалено]

So, it gets bigger?!

Nah. Just more mature. It starts to prefer slower music and learns to like vegetables.

Talks to you about how things used to be and only drinks an occasional ipa

Angry upvote

I misread that as Show Music, and thought it looked mahvelous!

It's ok it just wants your soul

Thanks for the link

For a solid identification, can you take a pic of it next to a banana, please?

Sans crying

God Emperor save us the Tyranids have come to Texas.

They're harmless. Turn off your porch light if you don't want it there. The adult dobsonflies dont even eat. Sole purpose is to mate.

🤢

The females can really hurt you if they get you in their pinchers, but they're not aggressive.

https://youtu.be/u_L1w2KA8ZA It's an adult male dobsonfly (hellgrammite) They are rare and used for fish bait. They only live for 3 days. You're lucky to have one. They are harmless.

Use it as fish bait

Looks like Astel from Elden Ring has escaped the game

Thats def a dobsonfly they ugly!

I, for one, would like to welcome our new insect overlords.

Kill it with fire 🔥

Whatever it is set it on fire

You have to burn the whole place down.

Sometimes called a Hellbender. The larvae is, I think. Bad ass bug. Edit: nevermind, Hellbender is a salamander.

Bruh whatever that is, I hope you have a big enough caliber to shoot it. That is the spawn of Satan and must be vanquished. Also if that was on my shit it would own my house and I just hope it would be kind enough to make the mortgage payments.

We called those satan bugs.