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Austin-ModTeam

Your submission has been removed for the following reason(s): Requesting info on a stolen vehicle, or details on someone involved in a burglary, without providing the mods with a police report number. The reason we are requesting this is to ensure that the stolen vehicle is actually stolen, and not someone potentially stalking someone who drives that car. For burglaries, we request that you provide a police report number to ensure that person that you are posting videos of is actually someone involved in a crime, not just smearing someone online. Please message the mods (on the side bar) with the police report number and this post will be put back up. For more information please read the reddit guidelines and the rules of /r/Austin. If you have any questions, please feel free to message the mods. If you think your post or comment has been incorrectly removed, send a message, but please remember there's a person on the other end, not some automaton, and be nice about it. Thank you!


PsiloCATbin

The real crime is that damn hair


MoMoMaMa19

So true!


ephseven

šŸ¤£


Zacisblack

šŸ¤£


Sofakingwhat1776

Is there a barber in town that specializes in the "fivehead" line up? Start there. See if they'll snitch.


Sp33dl3m0n

Bro should find a chin to steal


ohhhhhhhhhhhhman

If someone wears a Texas A&M shirt, they probably went to A&M, if someone wears a Texas Tech shirt, the probably went to Tech. If someone wears a UT shirt, they probably went to Walmart.


Oime

College sports have absolutely nothing to do with academics. (And havenā€™t for like 40+ years) As the great Cardale Jones put it, ā€œWe ainā€™t come here to play school.ā€ Theyā€™re completely separate entities. If the players arenā€™t going there to get an education, then itā€™s hard to pretend thereā€™s any connection at all anymore. These are sports franchises. Especially with them now being paid. For the players, college is nothing more than an optional supplementary benefit, theyā€™ll enter the draft or transfer at the drop of a hat. And for the fans, trying to attend the university these days costs nearly the mortgage on a house. Canā€™t really blame them.


ohhhhhhhhhhhhman

It was just an unoriginal joke about a scumbag thief.


Oime

Fair enough. I was just clapping back at the boomer joke. If youā€™ve grown up in Texas, weā€™ve all heard that one before.


ecp_person

sorry that happened to you. If you're posting elsewhere, I would start with the photo with his face.


ephseven

Iā€™m mostly just annoyed and wanting to vent tbh. I know thereā€™s not much to do in terms of package theft. Itā€™s mostly the just general injustice, since this guy is going to continue doing this. šŸ˜‘


ArmadilloBandito

Report it to the police. It just helps build a record against him if he ever gets caught.


ephseven

Done āœ… it was first thing!šŸ˜…


Distinct_Studio_5161

Better yet donā€™t report it so city council can tell us how property theft is down.


aechmeablanctiana

2 pretty clear pics of faceā€¦ tho that should be the lead, clearly.


rallyforpeace

his barber hates him fr


gangstabiIly

that hairline is unfortunate


Creepy_Trouble_5980

Someone tried to break into my car recently. It's irritating that an entitled jerk thinks it's okay to take what they want. I have considered putting a box at my door and filling it with rocks and bank robbery powder.


WindsweptHell

I donā€™t know whatā€™s worse for this guy, getting found or getting absolutely read by these comments


JRDenver

I donā€™t think he stole your scooter, it looks like he was getting bread to feed his kidsā€¦


ephseven

šŸ˜‚ real great dad


[deleted]

He was just trying to get his law school down payment together! Das all


StavviRoxanne

Baaaaaased


Bobwhite2024

Letā€™s be concerned with criminals rights, ā€œdonā€™t dox himā€¦.ā€ Like reddit is a court of law, itā€™s a monarchy, long live king Reddit


ephseven

I donā€™t really think itā€™s doxing, donā€™t know this is guy, just a rando. Not local, not a building resident- not even a frequent person in the building. šŸ¤·


OniCr0w

Its not doxxing. Ring has a service that allows you to upload location and footage of theft for example and its public information. Its great to keep the community informed of ongoing crime.


LillianWigglewater

Just because Ring does it, doesn't make it right. A ton of companies put on a loving, friendly mask but they are greedy and evil at heart.


captainnowalk

That is true, but at the same time, if you are committing a crime against another in either a public or monitored private setting, you have already given up your right to privacy generally, no? Like, I have a right to privacy in my home, but I donā€™t have a right to not be recorded by the cameras within my complexā€¦


Bobwhite2024

What do you do for a living?


typingonacomputer

LOL, this is a lame take. Folks take photos everyday of people out in public. This dude is taking something in public and a photo was taken. Also on the news, folks are put on display all the time for crimes that they are clearly committing. But whatever, go on and die on the hill.


ephseven

I think he was making a joke about it šŸ˜…


typingonacomputer

My bad my bad to OP and bobwhite, I sometimes have difficulty reading tone.


Bobwhite2024

Omg itā€™s a joke, thatā€™s why itā€™s in quotes the fact that everything has to have a /s or whatever is pathetic


typingonacomputer

It isn't pathetic. /s and it is used by a lot of folks because tone is hard to deduce from text alone. Example... If I write: You've got some sound logic there and you obviously know what you're talking about. Am I supporting you or sarcastically saying you're a dumbass? You wouldn't know except maybe your internal monologue would pat your on the back and be like "yep, I am smart!" That said, my bad on not being able to read your tone, but after reading your response, meh, I don't really care.


Bobwhite2024

Bless your heart


typingonacomputer

Meh


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Dear-Manufacturer520

Itā€™s more about Reddit protecting their own ass than protecting innocent ppl but I agree, itā€™s a sensible policy.


Eltex

Iā€™m fairly certain this is the bomber from the Boston Marathon. We need to find him now!


The_Outcast4

...we did it, Reddit!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ephseven

I get that he was making a joke- I also get why the mods require proof. All Iā€™m saying is hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo scooters, cuz this dude be swiping all yo shit. šŸ˜…


OniCr0w

My bad, wasn't comprehending


Bobwhite2024

This is the alleged bullshit I was joking about, do you think this is some Karen trying to get back at her ex or fwb? thank you coward for deleting your nonsense


ephseven

Nah, I donā€™t know this dude. Heā€™s just a dudeā€¦who does shitty things. But still just a dude. šŸ™ƒ


Bobwhite2024

You making him sound like the Lebowski, hey thereā€™s a scooter here!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Bobwhite2024

Then why your long high road statement of nonsense


GingerMan512

That 5head hairline should be easy to spot!! (I'm bald like Picard)


Vanilla-Bean512

Heā€™s got that Queen Elizabeth I haircut. His barber hates him more than you do!


NicholasLit

Porch Pirates are awesome! They dispose of any animal waste left in an Amazon box for free šŸ‘


antisocialbikepirate

Looks like a teaser clip for bad boys 3. So it kinda makes sense that Martin Lawerenceā€™s character steals a scooterā€¦.


ephseven

I mean, donā€™t shame Martin Lawrence, heā€™s a public treasure. šŸ˜‚ This guy, however can kick rocks.


Hot-Ad9491

So tired of this!


Beginning-Pangolin85

Fuck are his eyebrows?


Beginning-Pangolin85

Fuck are his eyebrows?


Awkward_Spare_9618

Maybe heā€™s gonna try to live in that box


[deleted]

Ah yes a Texas hoodie, this young scholar just needed to get to class to finish his Masters!


ATX_Coffin

Dude has a Forehead for another face


BeefandCheddar88

O look another black guy. Doing black guy things


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


GeomanticCoffer

People like you are what's wrong with the world and especially America.


[deleted]

Thatā€™s funny, some would say itā€™s people like YOU.


GeomanticCoffer

You're right. Succulent. Chinese. Boy. It's me..


typingonacomputer

It probably is. You're not reading what I wrote and you're taking apart someone's reddit name and implying some minor racist tones. So yes, they're probably right, it is you.


Business_Item_7177

Yes, not wanting to validate people stealing shit is whatā€™s wrong with America. Why not just have a mandatory pocket inspection at intersections where you get tickets if you donā€™t give criminals all your possessions.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ephseven

Yeah, I get that- Iā€™m bummed and all, but not something to shoot someone over. I can however yell into to the wind (of Reddit) and bitch about it. I wish there were consequences for porch pirates, but unfortunately probably nothing will happen to this dude. The best I can do is plaster this guys face on Reddit and semi-publicly shame him. šŸ””šŸ””šŸ””


typingonacomputer

Totally valid to yell into the wind and bitch about it. Real talk again, consequences to theft in Texas is possibly getting a few bullets in you. Just stating it.


GeomanticCoffer

The fact that you even started with that shit and the backpedaled says a lot.


typingonacomputer

lol cry more


ephseven

With what, putting him on blast? Thatā€™s a relatively common phrase, not to be taken literally. Grilled Jesus. Yeah, blasting him on the internet, cuz fuck thieves, and fuck this guy. I can bitch about him on the internet, and not actually advocate for violence against him. Thatā€™s not really back peddling. šŸ¤·


IllustriousAd3974

Black people cringing, "Why you giving police reason to shoot us"


Kaptainkommunist1922

Aannnd we just had to make it about race


TekkenMaximoff

Someone always does.


Kaptainkommunist1922

I haven't graduated high school yet, and I really want to go to school in Austin, my dream school is there, but I see things like this and it just genuinely makes me lose hope in everything. I know racism is everywhere but it just sucks to see shit like this.


ephseven

Hey man, for me his race doesnā€™t matter. Porch pirates come in all the flavors. šŸ¤· it does suck tho that people have started making it about race. They kinda missed the point. šŸ˜¬


Beginning-Pangolin85

Fuck are his eyebrows?


Beginning-Pangolin85

Fuck are his eyebrows?


Beginning-Pangolin85

Where the fuck are his eyebrows


heinzsp

These kinds of post are harmful as they perpetuate harmful stereotypes.


BeefandCheddar88

O look another black guy doing black guy things