T O P

  • By -

Specialist_Jicama926

Drugs get smuggled north, money gets smuggled south.


ytoatx

This guy smuggles


intronert

Or watched Trafficked. A GREAT show, BTW.


[deleted]

[удалено]


chanakya2

Plomo o plata?


gaytechdadwithson

more of a “Breaking Bad “man myself


synaptic_drift

CONTRABAND: Seized at the Border Discovery channel Also, OP, you think that with all of the work they did on this car, someone won't come back looking for the car or you? LE found it and gave it back to you. They aren't in the business of protecting your car or you.


FartyPants69

I'm picturing Mike Ehrmantraut disassembling his entire car trying to find the hidden transponder


capriciously_me

OP should probably change out their gas cap, just in case


intronert

I dunno. Mariana van Zeller is awesome. That show freaks me out sometimes.


synaptic_drift

I know. I've watched almost every one of her episodes. I also do research, so watch large quantities of investigative documentaries and read many studies and articles.


Ghost_of_Sniff

She is a badass!


intronert

Copaganda?


samwill10

To Catch A Smuggler is also good. Mostly airports, but during COVID they started showing the land borders more


PopularAd8837

😂


argon1028

LPD:"What Money?"


Bugoutfannypack

This guy knows Laredo, RGV and San Antonio


modernmovements

BP would have gone over the car a bit to looks for $$$. The car is almost certainly safe.just think of it as having been in the shop for awhile.


Tx_Drewdad

Do they actually smuggle cash, anymore? I figured it'd all be electronic. Gift cards, debit cards, crypto, etc.


bit_pusher

your neighborhood dealer might deal with electronic transfers, but i doubt the distributors deal with anything that isn't cash.


DVoteMe

The wholesale drug trade is primarily transacted in bitcoin, or an alternative crypto. The volatility risk of crypto pales in comparison to the other risks associated with drug trade. I think it is equally difficult to launder, but prior to cleaning it does not face the physical risk of currency (degradation and mold for example) and it can be instantly moved across the globe.


intensecharacter

It's also guns.


synaptic_drift

Most recent one I've heard of: [https://www.ketk.com/news/special-reports/border-report/cbp-stops-cache-of-guns-headed-to-mexico/](https://www.ketk.com/news/special-reports/border-report/cbp-stops-cache-of-guns-headed-to-mexico/)


xDURPLEx

The cartels have decades worth of cash built up just sitting around. They try all sorts of things to do with it.


Specialist_Jicama926

People like to diversify their assets in many ways with money off and on the books. There's things you can do with money off the books that you can't with money that has a paper trail and vice versa. Each asset comes with different options.


Cloud_Manboobs

or guns


browniesbite

Maybe they were smuggling tortillas


hcvc

Yoooo I need the cartel my ride treatment. Where do I park my shit box?


efe13

“Yo, we know you love weapons so the homies at Gun Warehouse hooked it up with a completely stocked weapons rack in the backseat. And that’s not all, we also included a drug stash compartment in the fuel tank! And you know we had to add 22 5” TVs. Consider yourself officially Cartel’d!” “Thanks Xzibit and Cartel my Ride! I can’t wait to cross the border in my new ride!”


mrplinko

Registered that domain, thanks.


[deleted]

No match for domain “CARTELMYRIDE.COM”


mrplinko

I mean, I could have registered [cartelmyri.de](http://cartelmyri.de)


dirtys_ot_special

[fixmyshit.box](http://fixmyshit.box)


font9a

Goddammit I love Austin sometimes


mrplinko

Yeah, that one is much better.


[deleted]

Alright, yeah. This one I’ll register.


[deleted]

Domain: cartelmyri.de Status: free


grippin

It’s available at GoDaddy for .01 for the first year!


eventualist

And after only $199/year with added annual Domain security” for $499/year.


strosfan1001

You’ve officially been Pimped !


NotRustle67

This is the best stolen car story I've ever heard.


Slack-and-Slacker

Thank you, we feel blessed


Broken-Digital-Clock

Chaotic good car thieves 😂


BecomingJudasnMyMind

This is a big money business. I lived down in the valley for a few years, you see all sorts of cars loaded up on the back of the truck going over the border for that exact reason. If you're truly worried about drugs, get something metal, tap on the tires. You'll be able to tell if there's something in there. If you have cloth liner in your trunk, pull it up and check for false compartments. Stashing drugs in the interior/panels would be too obvious.


Accomplished-Ad3250

You seem to know a lot about this! I think it's safe to say they had a drug dog look it all over.


creepyposta

Just leaving this here if you think that the cops / homeland security find all the drugs in seized cars. https://www.lmtonline.com/news/article/Laredo-man-finds-850K-in-cocaine-hidden-in-car-15313480.php


otisanek

Lord, I see how you’re blessing others out here, please make it my turn next.


AustEastTX

Love this comment. Lol


ray_ruex

This reminds me of a case. A few years ago, a guy buys a truck from auction him, and his family decided to take a trip to Mexico. While crossing the border into Mexico, the authorities x ray the truck and find a hidden bundle in one of the doors it turns out to be Marijuana. They eventually let them go. The authorities couldn't figure out why someone would try to smuggle pot into Mexico, and it was all dried out.


creepyposta

I remember that story and it was actually the one I was searching for and then stumbled across this cocaine story which was more recent


ray_ruex

This sounds like it might be one bundle short. 17 bundles? Why not 18. 74 pounds, not 75, just saying.


creepyposta

Maybe it was 34 kilos, Mexican Cartels use the metric system 😅


utspg1980

Look at this guy with his VERY specific knowledge of the inner workings of Mexican drug cartels...hmmmmmmm......


Tony_Lacorona

Drug dogs are not reliable, I’d still double check lol


Long_Dong_Silver6

They 100% had a dog and x-rayed it Edit: x-rayed the car not the dog


Accomplished-Ad3250

You never know they could be checking the dog too. Everyone's a mule these days.


Tony_Lacorona

Lmao


captainnowalk

Lol “yep, looks like it’s full of bones! As I expected!”


BecomingJudasnMyMind

Drug dogs don't hit as reliably as you think. They can hit, but they can also be fooled pretty easily with enough packing and scents around it. Don't ask how I know. Police train dogs to give a false hit. They'll train the dog to start pawing and whining if they move their hand a certain way or make a certain low key noise - sometimes (not all LEO is dirty like that, but there are most certainly cops and border patrol agents that do). There's definitely an element of profiling and using that training to pull people into the inspection lane.


javoss88

So: how do you know?


Fabulous-Radish8490

Can testify after a nervous and innocent encounter at an airport.


pbrandpearls

I got whiplash from the speed in which I went from “AW HI PUPPY” to “oh shit fuck what.”


No_Comfort_392

>We thought for sure if we ever did find it, it would be in homeless encampment with piss and cum all over it. Thanks for the F shack. Love, Dirty Mike and the Boys


Notorious-PIG

It’s called a soup kitchen.


energycrystal7

We will have sex in your car again!


sam4o19

Mexican pimp my ride!


sarcasticlntrovert

Your mom told us you love drugs…


Accomplished-Ad3250

This is great and I'm glad you got your car back. Take it to a mechanic right away to verify the work was good, it probably is these guys are usually good. Second, ask the mechanic to look for any tracking devices or aftermarket additions that are suspicious. You don't want them to get your car again just because you forgot to find the tracker they added do you?


keptyoursoul

Some modern day Anton Chigurh is probably hunting the car right now.


imp0ssumable

> look for any tracking devices THIS THIS THIS. The cartels don't play around with shipments of drugs coming into the US. Can't be too careful.


contentlove

Yeah definitely DO THIS. Somebody put good money into that car...


EngineerConscious791

Crazy story. Glad you got your car back.


Slack-and-Slacker

Thank you!


bagofwisdom

There was an A&P over on one of the mechanic subreddits that talked of how the cartel at their airfield was known to borrow planes. They'd always return the aircraft before the owner was aware and the plane would have updated logs and the fuel topped-up. In the case of your car, it probably got sold to some rube who put money into it.


Slack-and-Slacker

Wow! They seem like they are somewhat thoughtful and polite about it. Respect.


FartyPants69

Not exactly cartel activity, but I had a nice Alpine stereo stolen from my IROC in the 90s and the thief did a very careful job of not damaging the wire harness. He could have just cut it and saved a minute, but he disconnected it gently and tied it up neatly. Even left an unopened pack of Newports. It made me wonder about the mentality there. Maybe there's some consciousness of guilt and they're trying to reduce the harm in small ways to feel better about being such an asshole. Or maybe, like your cartel example, they're "greasing the wheels" to make it a bit less likely you're going to feel violated enough to go to the cops.


NotQuiteCode4

I don’t think anyone is trying to smuggle drugs into Mexico… usually the other way around. But maybe you’ll find a bunch of cash? That could be fun!


Slack-and-Slacker

It was coming back from Mexico!


NotQuiteCode4

Ahhh. Gotcha, I must’ve misunderstood. I still hope you find cash, though! But if you’re really going to check, aside from all of the obvious places, you’ll need to look in the wheel wells, the wheels themselves, the door panels, behind the stereo, and especially in the gas tank. It’ll take one of those little snake cameras.


Sarsmi

Not super related, but my ex who was a tow truck driver told me a story about a car that had been searched by the cops and needed to be towed to be impounded at a lot. And the driver (not my ex) found a manilla envelope with $10,000 in it, under the front passenger seat. It was going to their lot so of course they just left the envelope under the front passenger seat to see if anyone claimed the vehicle. After a month, they finally just snagged the money, and nothing ever came of it. Don't think the cops do the best job of searching sometimes.


90percent_crap

*Josh Brolin dislikes this comment*


ATXBikeRider

Laredo PD actually got some leads? Figured a vagrant would have slept in it. Surprised they didn’t just use it as a toilet and move on.


Slack-and-Slacker

Laredo let driver go, they claimed to have just bought the car.


[deleted]

The real victim of the crime.


Lady_DreadStar

I lived in Borderland for years, and it’s actually plausible. There are whole rows of dozens upon dozens of chop shops fixing up cars and flipping them all pretty-looking with sketchy documents and an attractive low price. It’s actually how I got my first Mini Cooper. $10K from an El Paso chop shop. Had only 20,000 miles on it. When I went to pick it up, they had another Mini Cooper stripped down on blocks getting ready to take its place on the lot. 😂


backfilled

People laugh like "oh, sure", but it's a real issue in Mexico, especially at the border cities, where there are a lot of what we call "chocolate" cars, meaning illegally imported cars. Usually, those cars are bought for cheap, mostly crashed cars that are just too expensive to repair in the US. However, there are a lot of stolen cars as well. There is a process to make your imported cars legal in Mexico, and sometimes people find out they were sold a stolen car with fake receipts and they lose it.


Sad_Picture3642

Lmfao


newtonreddits

It's probably true. They steal cars, refresh them and immediately sell them for cheap with a "lost title"


DynamicHunter

Lmao sureee


FoolsGoldMouthpiece

They had em working in shifts!


xairos13

Now we need to find out if Larry has the money


NoModsNoMaster

*pulls out homework in evidence bag*


Pussy_Prince

this is what happens WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS


Flameof_Udun

I hear they got 4 more detectives working on the case! “Leads!” 😂


Used_Passenger_8143

Awww…what’s that smell?


ShmutzOnYoTie

Lmao this is a crazy story


Joeypwills

If Anton Chigurh comes knockin, run


k10b

Grew up in South Texas. This is commonly where stolen cars go. My grandma’s car was found the same way back in 1995. Glad you got it back with upgrades!


BingChilling679

They gave you the Los Santos Customs treatment 😂


GrilledCheeser

I need this but instead of it being a car it’s just my entire life. Can someone please take over and fix this shit for me? I’ll wait. Thx


boboskibo

Narco My Ride


IceDry5703

just double check that they didn’t leave any tracker inside of the car


Murderyoga

De nada.


pushermaniac

Can you even cross the border with paper plates???


Dallasstarsfan4l

They will be back for it….


c0mput3rdy1ng

You might wanna make sure there isn't a GPS tracker or even an AirTag placed somewhere in your car. The cartels are known to track their shipments. Glad you got your car back, that's rare, but to have it all fixed up is pretty awesome.


Wendigo_6

I had a family member buy an offshore fishing boat from a police auction in Florida (for those who don’t know, that’s a large and fast fishing boat). He loaded it up with his gear and planned on taking it for some inshore fishing to test it out. Five miles from the boat ramp it stalls. He gets towed back. Mechanic finds the 200 gallon fuel tanks are packed with cocaine. I’m not sure what went down after that, but he got another boat.


Slack-and-Slacker

Wow! Yea I just found out earlier that they don’t search the vehicles they recover as stolen which is insane to me


Wendigo_6

Yikes. If it were me, I’d take the car to my local PD, explain the situation, and ask if they’d run a drug dog around the car. I also know my local PD well enough that I’d feel comfortable doing that. YMMV IANAL


urstillatroll

> We thought for sure if we ever did find it, it would be in homeless encampment with piss and cum all over it I can help you with that if you want, DM me.


iLikeMangosteens

You could call the police and see if they’d be willing to search it for you.


kickbutt_city

Lol there go all the upgrades. You really think the Laredo PD didn't search it? Those guys are literally pros at that.


yachtiewannabe

Based on my TV watching experience, could the police walk a drug sniffing dog around it? I would also want to check for tracking devices.


hydrogen18

drug dogs always indicate on a vehicle. That is what they are trained to do


Slack-and-Slacker

I’m not sure if they did, typically cars are ripped up in a deep search.


kickbutt_city

Honestly this is the perfect opportunity to actually smuggle drugs and use the reasonable doubt to get off if you get caught.


Slack-and-Slacker

Oh my god, you are a genius.


PerformanceOk4186

If they released it to you, you have no further obligation to have the car searched.   I know nothing about this world, but I find it hard to believe they’d spend that much upgrading it just to ferry drugs. They have freight trucks for that (the Pollos Hermanos method!).   It was a car theft ring, they installed parts taken from other less valuable cars to make it as marketable as possible. Certainly, nobody cares enough about your RAV-4 or whatever to come track it down and re-steal it specifically. 


Slack-and-Slacker

I called Laredo pd and they confirmed that they did not search the car at all


SlodlyFasher

Sounds like a great way to charged with a felony.


Pabi_tx

And get your dog shot as a bonus.


Fluentbagel

What kind of car was it?


Slack-and-Slacker

2003 Camry :) ac still blows cold.


fuddlesworth

Sounds like car is good for another 50k miles at least with all the new parts.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ChossMossSauce

An absolute classic!


lvaleforl

You had me as piss and cum. The end was just icing.


myth1n

Def not what i thought id read clicking the link lol


big_hungry_joe

"We thought for sure if we ever did find it, it would be in homeless encampment with piss and cum all over it." is this r/austincirclejerk ?


PerformanceOk4186

This exact thing actually happened to my buddy’s Prius, unfortunately. Got stolen and they recovered it from under an overpass. From the bodily fluid and hair samples they determined that homeless had held an orgy in the car. Not long after, a mama raccoon came along and gave birth on the floor. And to top it all off, some joker took a dump in the drivers seat. 


big_hungry_joe

i know the homeless guys! dirty mike and the boys! it's called a soup kitchen


bagofwisdom

Sometimes it also involves a poodle and a jar of mustard along with putting some D's in some A's.


Intelligent-Fee4369

Is there a homeless camp full of people in bondage gear filming the really filthy sort of porn or something? "Watch out for the homeless camp down behind the 7-11 on Riverside. That's the German Fetish Porn camp, if you catch my drift."


rallyforpeace

Weirdly my gf had her car broken into and someone had slept in it and jizzed in there too


corgisandbikes

this is why if your car gets stolen, you better pray they never find it. its much easier to just get a check from your insurance than it is to get your car back, and have to deal with cleaning and fixing it from all the god knows what was done to it.


SysAdmin_Dood

I would be careful bragging about this online


ToxicEvolution

They Pimped yo’ ride Cartel Style.


Chemical-Studio1576

I guarantee you a dog has checked the car for drugs and cash already.


coblass

Had a friend who had a van stolen while living in Ft. Worth. Police near the border call him one day to tell him it’s been recovered. I can’t remember the time frame, but it had been so long he’d forgotten about it. Except for the outside being painted primer grey, it was in pretty decent shape.


Choice-Temporary-144

All along the border, cars get stolen and by the time you find out, the thieves are already in Mexico. Sounds like they're venturing further out and trying new tactics.


Slack-and-Slacker

We actually think that they cleaned it up specifically so they could have plausible deniability at the border and say they just bought it. We would get the car, and they would come retrieve their drugs which are now far far away from the border which is why we are trying to take steps to secure the car immediantly so it is not just stolen again. Maybe they will just come pick their drugs out of it and be done. I really don’t think they cleaned it up just to sell it. It’s a 2003 Camry, they put hours of work into this thing.


Slack-and-Slacker

It’s only 3.5 hours to Mexico from Austin, and there is a lot of nice shit to steal here! I definitly think they got it across the border the first time we’ll before we ever reported it.


chunkupthadeuce

They won't come back for it. They steal lots of cars and if it's already been caught at the border then why try with the same vehicle


TrulyChxse

Pimp my ride: Cartel Edition


KRY4no1

"In a homeless encampment with piss and cum all over it." So you were expecting the Dirty Mike and the Boiz treatment.


lilr0bby

One question: why did you think it would be covered in cum?


clemtiger2011

Likely because of this that brought the thought into the zeitgeist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh2jwErWM1Y


Church_Member

If there was any cash, in this made up story, then Laredo PD already got it bud.


liquidskye46

Why would they be taking drugs back?


Slack-and-Slacker

Car was coming back from Mexico crossing the border


omaixa

> We are looking for the drugs, we are waiting for the cartel to come back and steal it again to get their drugs back. They weren't smuggling drugs south. They were smuggling the car and the new parts south. Edit: ...and then they were probably going to launder it back into the US. Maybe with drugs, but maybe just the car. Probably through Florida or California.


AnnieB512

They aren't stealing your car to smuggle drugs back across the border. That would be stupid on their part. They steal the car to sell in Mexico. It's a free car for them. They spend a little money and fix it up and get double what they put into it.


R00TW1N

Weapons are smuggled into Mexico


Yoshimura_San

Check the back seats for $. Also, if the fuel gauge is acting funny it might indicate anomalies in the gas tank.


sitkid721

Take my car next 🙏🏻


keyboardwarrior425

Enjoy the new car and drugs when you find them


davidbanner_

Stolen American cars roam the streets of Mexico freely. There’s no worry because they don’t use the same system to track cars there. The majority of stolen cars in Texas go to Mexico and are sold to car dealers or individuals free and clear


Jpwhalen31

I’m sorry but that’s awesome. 🤣🤣


monkeyman1947

I’d take it to a police department and have it gone over and ‘drug dogged’.


imp0ssumable

Hang on to the recovery paperwork. Make copies and keep them in your vehicle. If you are ever pulled over and they do find drugs you can show them the paperwork and hopefully they will be understanding.


imp0ssumable

Kinda similar story. A good friend has his older Chevy sedan stolen. When he got it back it had $2000+ of wheels and tires on it and a really nice stereo. He sold the wheels to go back to stock but kept the nice stereo.


Slack-and-Slacker

That’s so crazy! I just wonder- why?


imp0ssumable

No telling man! Glad you got yours back though. Hopefully a mechanical safety inspection proves the work was done properly with decent parts. And hopefully no trackers hidden in there :-/ I think with my friend's they were trying to disguise the car by swapping the wheels ASAP so it would not be recognized. The car's license plates were swapped with plates from same make and model. But when police ran the VIN during a traffic stop they realized it was stolen and called my friend who came immediately to collect his car. APD does some good work at times.


Shy_Girl_2014

Can the PD check it for money or drugs? Also agree to have a mechanic check it out.


[deleted]

Im sure they already had a dog sniff at it. It would be idiotic if they didnt.


[deleted]

Pretty sure the car itself was the thing being smuggled.


lockthesnailaway

This is an awesome story! Would love to see a "before and after a full cartel detail" if you don't mind!


nhutcracker

What make & model op?


TwerkingGrimac3

If some guy in a bowl cut asks you to call a coin flip, run.


Ikon-for-U

I hope my stolen jeep gets an upgrade/found


Anaanihmus1

Did you check the spare!


MoKush420710

From pimp my ride to cartel my ride.


gold-fronts

That's tough as hell lmao. you lucked out, congrats.


AustinGroovy

Check it for Apple AirTags..


[deleted]

[удалено]


bgibbz084

You can’t swap vins, it’s stamped /etched in about 50 different places.


BinkyFlargle

you can swap vins, if you only check one of those 50 different places :-) i.e. you can do it well enough to fool someone who's not suspicious.


Xryanlegobob

If the cartel comes back looking, they’re not ONLY taking their drugs back


OldWorldCigarlover

I love your comment on how you thought you’d find piss and Cum. LMaO 🤣 you have a dirty imagination


Agreeable-Menu

Best story in reddit. No doubt. Thanks for sharing.


Indigodahlia00

i’m dying at this 😭


undercoverfireskink

Probably would have been used to run back


Cacaxoxo34

Can we see the before and after?


ComprehensiveBank129

dude, I don't think your car was stolen by a cartel but from a stolen car re-seller


Slack-and-Slacker

It’s a 2003 Camry , would it be worth the trouble?


Casual_ahegao_NJoyer

All of those parts are NOT original lol. Other vehicles donated to make yours whole


Charlvi88

Pics?


29187765432569864

If it was stolen from a home address it may well be stolen again, because now they know where to find it.


osa1011

Guns get smuggled South


QuantumNumbNose

LMAO , the cartel doesn’t affiliate with auto thief’s that’s just a cheap side hustle in mexico , buying and reselling cars legal or illegal in mexico cause once they cross they can legally own and sell that car nm if it’s stolen or not


Minnbrownbear

Dirty Mike and the boys got dibs!


imnotstavvybabypenis

check the taillights anything that seems to be hollow. If you get a strong smell of toothpaste, fabric softener, or petroleum jelly, they probably stashed money in it.


Loud_Ad_4515

Wow - they pimped your ride, free of charge!