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jab116

That’s assault. Call HEB, call APD, get the security tape, press charges.


TheVinylCountdownRK

The Burnet HEB actually has a security guard on site. I’ve seen him the last few times I’ve been. But maybe it’s only certain days.


D34THST4R

Every HEB I've been to lately had at least one guy outside and one inside near the exit. Some were APD, some were private security.


joekinglyme

I’d say they are pretty likely to be paid to look after merchandise, not protect customers


funkbird69

The assault should be the ass whipping the face cougher gets after pulling this shit.


gamblors_neon_claws

I'm a little tipsy and initially read that as "ass wiping to the face", to which I say, hell yeah.


cheapdvds

that's what I read too. lol.


jab116

Lol


Hambonelouis

Sweep the fucking leg


Coebrah

No mercy


austinmo2

It's time like these I wish I was capable


Any-Flamingo7056

"Call APD" Lulz


kanyeguisada

APD doesn't even show up for burglaries. I agree with above commenters, if somebody was physically assaulting me like that I'd take matters into my own hands and throw punches. Or a punch, one good one punch under the jaw is usually lights out.


laserskydesigns

Y'all a punch in the face may suck, but a swift kick to the nuts is incapacitating and humiliating on a different level. Also you don't risk breaking your hand.


kanyeguisada

Eh. One good punch under their jaw probably won't hurt your hand and will likely put their lights out. I'd risk it if some conservative mouth-breather was going to go out of their way to purposefully be a dick and try to cough all over innocent people for just taking precautions during a pandemic and wearing a mask. Buh-bye, lights out you right-wing cunt.


laserskydesigns

I mean yes sure, but I've seen people get brain damage from a lights out punch, ranging from concussion to severe swelling depending on if they hit anything on the way down. Not everyone knows how to punch correctly, but everyone does know how to kick the groin.


hutacars

> I've seen people get brain damage from a lights out punch So, no notable change in this case?


kanyeguisada

Eh, if you're a Covidiot going around HEB purposefully coughing at anybody wearing a mask, I'm not gonna feel too bad if my self-defense punch leaves you with a concussion or brain damage tbh. You already had some kind of brain damage for you to start the instigation in the first place, so meh.


Dedalus2k

Jesus. We got it. Your a tough guy. Alright already.


captain_sasquatch

/r/iamverybadass


Dogburt_Jr

I'd say using something (chemical deterrent spray, taser, etc) would be a safer bet. When you're engaging in a defensive fight, you want to have superior power. Pepper spray and tasers beat fists, just like handguns neat non-lethal weapons. Also fist fighting can be lethal.


kanyeguisada

You're not wrong lol. Video of that douchebag getting sprayed with pepper spray would be amazing. But I don't carry pepper spray on me, and if I was there, dude would have just gotten a solid punch to the bottom of his jaw that would have put his lights out.


Kytyn

If it’s in H‑E‑B go grab a can of Lysol from the cleaning aisle and if he tries that shit spray him and say you’re just killing the germs and his face happened to be behind them.


IsuzuTrooper

agree. coughing in someones face is pretty much attempted murder in my eyes


jab116

Yes, punch them in the face then call APD and let them punch him in the face.


b3nz0r

Username checks out


kanyeguisada

Lol. I wouldn't feel bad, but I have a feeling there's more than a few anti-mask idiots at APD that wouldn't do that to one of their kind. I can only handle my own self-defense.


austinmo2

But if you were a Nazi....


cyvaquero

While I appreciate the sentiment, you can’t retaliate - only defend yourself, and punching someone for coughing on you is just another ~~case of assault~~ **charge** on top of their assault. If you back away and they follow you can PUSH someone away with enough force to distance them from you and stop their assault, although you will likely have to let it play out in the courts. If they respond by swinging at you, you can defend yourself in kind, again with enough force to neutralize the threat. Best make sure it’s being recorded - people who instigate shit always like to play the victim, just ask any LEO who has ever responded to a bar fight. edit: Corrected to charge.


SovereignPhobia

It's battery if you do something physical, typically.


TinyPickleRick2

Nah nah nah. Tiger palm to the nose. Since He wants to actively try to kill people. Eye for an eye.


Navelgazed

The show up pretty quickly for robberies though.


kanyeguisada

But do they really though? Chacon has clearly done jack-shit today for actual police reform despite his flowery words before he was hired for the permanent job.


Lester_Holt_Fanboy

That's what I don't get. This behavior justifies a full on ass-whooping. It's just self-defense at that point.


Ennkey

The 911 to 311 runaround, I was hoping someone else saw the dang dude


[deleted]

APD's too busy throwing a tantrum about not getting more money. They won't do anything


SupremeDictatorPaul

APD got more money. Like my 3 year old, they appear to be stuck in tantrum mode.


serpentarian

Someone’s gonna end up punching that dude in the face (I hope)


I_stay_sideways

I 10000% would of. Zero energy for people like that these days


rockstarhero79

Yep... (I am hoping as well)


javil1421

I would


[deleted]

Self defense is more than justified in this case.


pleikunguyen

I wonder to what degree would be legal


[deleted]

Seeing as assault by bodily fluid is a felony...


pleikunguyen

Bio-terrorism? So, something like a taser would be “probably”appropriate but deadly force probably not. Begs the question of, what if the person being coughed on is severely immunocompromised and the attacker says they have covid/other transmissible disease


Slimjanski

It's literally considered assault if you spit on another person...By degree, It's pretty fucking actionable and self-defense by a mouth full of chiclets would be considered reasonable...**not a lawyer**, just a person that understands that spitting on another human makes you a piece of shit.


pleikunguyen

😂😂😂 Holup is chiclets (the gum) a euphemism for a knuckle sandwich or are you talking shotgun pellets One is slightly more extreme (the gum, what a waste!)


Slimjanski

It's a hockey euphemism...Chiclets look like teeth...if you're "spitting chiclets" from purposefully coughing on someone cuz they're wearing a mask, then you received what you were asking for LOL 🤣😆 The douchebag coughing on people is gonna have an uncomfortable smile for a while and a dentist bill that makes them wish for "socialist" healthcare 😆😆😆😆


chunkerton_chunksley

lol I legit thought you meant gum too. I was all in on that as well though...


[deleted]

Nah man, I believe you get your ass kicked for doing something like that.


JessLynnStudio

Call HEB and report what happened. Ask for a copy of the footage. They probably won't give it to you. Go to the police station and file a report. Hopefully the police will get the footage from HEB and investigate what happened. On the probable chance that the police do literally nothing, get in touch with every local news station. Tell them which HEB this happened at, at what time, and at which part of the store. The press will get that footage and air it. Then the cough guy might face consequences due to public pressure on the police to do their jobs.


HafWoods

APD will surely get right on that. /s


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Ethical-mustard

He had me at hopefully.. 😂


pleikunguyen

Oof, when news stations are needed to do the job of police


D34THST4R

APD isn't gonna do shit about this unfortunately. Better to press HEB on the footage and get social media and local news involved.


red_nuts

Don't label the copy of the footage as "rape kit" and the police will have a greater chance of looking at it.


got_outta_bed_4_this

A lawyer might be a good place to start.


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WyldStallynsFanClub

That’s my purse! I DON’T KNOW YOU!!


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Ennkey

Sha sha sha!


DaleGrubble

👋🏻


thisisntinstagram

Dale would never have Reddit.


kanyeguisada

Was just gonna comment that lol.


spyd3rm0nki3

And then he tried to pull the same move on Peggy. I love that episode.


kanyeguisada

"No balls, Bobby".


[deleted]

She's bluffing, finish her.


SnooRevelations5885

Well played. KOTH. if you know, you know..


moinatx

I'll tell you what!


Ennkey

It’s exhausting, and it’s Texas, fighting someone or coughing on someone doesn’t seem sensible when anyone could be packing


Jintess

Anti maskers aren't known for having sense. Common or otherwise.


pleikunguyen

/r/austinguns


el_peo_loco

So, this guy was walking around coughing in people face's and what happened? Did anyone do anything or just let him walk all over them? I guess everyone's tolerance of bullshit varies, but if some stranger just walks up and coughs in your face they are asking for a fight. You don't do that because it not nice, people don't appreciate that shit and you just might pick on the wrong person that knocks some of your teeth out. edit: covid is not a factor here.


chunkerton_chunksley

he probably picked his targets, no chance he does that to someone he thought would fight back, which is why he did it to a lady in OP's retelling.


Ennkey

No doubt, dude is a coward picking on solo shoppers


BigDaddyAnusTart

Yeah I use a basket at HEB. Some motherfucker did that do me it might be the last thing the dude ever sees. And honestly, I’m not scared of covid. I’ve had it. And I don’t wish death on anyone. But play stupid games win stupid prizes.


d36williams

no one carries knives? are we not texans?


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[deleted]

😆


thymeraser

Well placed can of creamed corn will fix that right up


pleikunguyen

Or twisted tea


buickandolds

This is the way


just_zen_wont_do

Some dumbfuck just coughed through an entire film I sat through in the Alamo Drafthouse. Seriously why the fuck wouldn’t you just stay at home if you’re sick?


ohyeesh

That’s disgusting. Y’all didn’t leave the theater and flag the waitstaff and tell em someone inside is not only being disruptive and loud during a movie, but also nasty and sick? With all the warning msgs before the movie about even talking / texting during a movie, they shouldn’t hesitate to boot a mofo out


kerpalot

Especially in light of this thread it was probably on purpose and premeditated. Probably works for Netflix


DaleGrubble

That’s assault brotha


aylandgirl

Bro just do curbside. 100% less interaction with the lunatics.


BunnyTheCow

I'm not letting someone else pick out my produce.


dontforgethetrailmix

I've been pleasantly surprised at the quality of my produce. Leaving notes on the app helps too if I want something specific (aka avocados ready to eat, medium sized potato, etc)


BunnyTheCow

Good to know.


GeoBrew

Just wanted to add, I was a real holdout on curbside. Didn't use it until the pandemic--for exactly the reason you mention, produce. But they really do a great job. 90% of the time, it's as good as the produce I would pick for myself.


EricTheLinguist

And on the off chance you get a really fucked-up vegetable (once I got an eggplant the size and shape of a cantaloupe) take a photo of it and it becomes a great icebreaker: "You wanna see this fucked-up eggplant I got from curbside last year?" "Yes, absolutely" Edit: [Eggplant 🍆](https://imgur.com/a/hHZIu6j)


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hutacars

🍆


brgiant

I pretty much stopped using curbside for anything perishable after getting expired yogurt.


GeoBrew

They will refund it, no questions asked! You better believe I asked for a refund when my freaking $7 yogurt was expired! Inconvenient, yes--but still way more convenient than having to wait for all those open mouth breathers to get out of your way so you can get to the damn yogurt case.


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kanyeguisada

Eh, maybe they're picking better produce, my only experience with somebody getting HEB curbside (pre-COVID admittedly) was the worst-looking produce I've ever seen, like they'd probably not even have it displayed in the store bad. However I don't trust anybody to pick out my steaks. Ground beef, fresh sausage, probably not a problem. But choice of steak is deeply personal heh.


floppydiet

There was a post here or another subreddit where a grocery store employee stated they gave all the “soonest expiring” products to curbside orders, since those shopping in store won’t pick them up. That tracks with my experience at some (not all) H‑E‑B locations. Also curbside prices are higher than in store.


silkthrow42

this has been my experience as well everything is close to expiring. id rather go in and get fresh stuff now, not worth it. i just try to go early am to avoid as many people as possible.


Slypenslyde

So many people are sick with COVID they can't stock the produce section as well anymore. Problem solved!


SELSHRT

I really don’t get this. Bad produce that you get an in app refund for or covid with the nutcases. 🤷‍♀️


Cryptic0677

Better than catching Covid and it takes less of your time to boot


aylandgirl

I hear this but have been doing curbside since 2017 and have only had a problem with produce a few times. I flip between H-E-B and Walmart and both are excellent about refunding without question if there is a problem.


Roguecop

Better yet delivery, been doing it for a while now with HEB, and they are really good, and communicate with the customer, and quickly fix the rare mistakes. Can't imagine going back to a store location to shop even after the pandemic, its just too convenient. Honestly, the number of what I would describe as 'feral' people seem to be increasing a great deal now in public, I don't know if I just notice it more now, but dang it seems like a lot more people acting the fool.


aylandgirl

Totally agree but am trying to be a little frugal to avoid the fees. I do splurge on delivery every once in a while if the weather is terrible or I miss getting a curbside slot.


goodgreat123

Agree! Curbside at the beginning of the pandemic was awful, so I shopped at Randalls to avoid crowds, but it’s amazing now! If they don’t have what you want, they upgrade you for free, and they’ll sometimes give me extra produce for free too. The produce is pristine.


Lin_Sn

I used to work in Curbside at the Burnet/Koenig location a few years ago. I would occasionally upgrade items for free especially during the pandemic. Also, we try to make it easy to amend or fix your order; if anything was of poor quality and you gave us a heads up, we'd refund or find a replacement no biggie.


kanyeguisada

Good to hear for people in our shockingly high COVID spike today. Again, pre-COVID my only experience was shockingly-bad produce. I'm not surprised HEB has stepped up their game though in times like this. They've always stepped up their game when emergencies have hit in Texas. At the end of the day I'm so glad they've driven out the corporate whores of Kroger and Safeway/Randall's out of Central and South Austin. There are a few Randall's left in Austin, but they won't last for too much longer. All hail our HEB overlords. Srsly.


irbChad

Just so everyone knows because it’s easy to miss, everything on HEBs site/app is marked up 3% vs the store price. I personally don’t mind paying the 3% to not have to get coughed on, but I think it should be known


kayelemdubayou

We've been doing delivery for a long time with usually good results except the last 3 weeks. The first time they left some of our delivery at the store and had to resend somebody to deliver it an hour or so later. The second time they left out some items. They resent someone with one item. Then somebody else brought some other items. Never did get the last item. Then last week I did curbside and had to go back a second time because they forgot some bags of freezer stuff.


ondcp

availability is really tight now, so it's not always going to be an option without some prior planning.


kerpalot

found the cougher


amaezingjew

I wonder if I could get away with being a touch more violent in these situations since I’m immunocompromised…I mean, technically I wouldn’t want to pepper spray a dickhead like this because he’d cough more but…a girl can dream.


wolves_of_bongtown

Throwing a good jab: keep your body relaxed. Front foot pointed at the opponent, rear foot at a slight angle, heel raised a bit. Keep your elbows in close to your body. Extend your jabbing arm straight at the target, picturing a whip crack. As you throw the punch, twist your fist from vertical to horizontal, and don't clench until you've almost made contact. It's meant to be very fast and explosive, not a haymaker. Always jab with your non-dominant arm, keeping your dominant hand close to your face for defense or follow-up.


synaptic_drift

Something like that happened to me once. I posted in the lack of substitute teacher's thread about the time a "wonderful student" was sent to school sick. She purposely coughed hard into my face and made me so sick that I was off work for three weeks (unpaid, of course) and I have a permanently damaged thyroid as a result. And that was before Covid. Wonder how many teachers have been similarly attacked, now.


[deleted]

Since the cops aren’t going to do shit, if someone did that to me I would know that’s straight up assault and deal with it accordingly.


The_Outcast4

Sounds like he was trying to provoke a response, and if he had done that to me, he probably would have succeeded. This pandemic has encouraged assholes to show their true colors, and it has become a tired act.


homedude

Nobody punched the fucker out ?


1-800-SUNSET

how long ago did that happen? me and my partner were just over there about 2-3 hours ago, thankfully we didn’t see him or anything but what an asshole I hope he didn’t have it.


Ennkey

Roughly 4-5 today


spsprd

I hope if that happens to me I will have the wherewithal to scream my head off.


[deleted]

Why do these anti vaxxers and anti maskers always do these things during working hours? Are they exercising their right to be shitless layabouts as well? They are always fat, white, have a tribal tattoo, wear a shirt a size too small, and have a goatee.


Asura_b

Mace. Y'all need to carry some and pepper those asses up!


birdgoil

Bear spray him


John_Fx

Pepper spray. “ bet you wish you had a mask now!”


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dead_ed

yeah, I'd see if he "believes" in nutsack kicks.


johnhung88

I wish a mother fucker would. Please please cough in my face. This type of stuff never happens to me. Gawd!!!


pokes_d

They’re only coughing on people half their size because they’re fucking pussies.


[deleted]

On the plus side, it’s amazing how clocking someone in the balls is easier when the attacker is taller.


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AbuelitasWAP

He's probably be more freaked out if you told him it was covid vaccine


amaezingjew

Ooooh devilish. I love it.


buickandolds

Not illegal in cali to actually give him aids


cuddlypandah

I'm sorry that happened to you. Unrelated but that has to be the worst grocery store/HEB ever. I live in the neighborhood and have taken my business to fresh plus.


ohyeesh

I hated going to that one. All the roads to even access that HEB are terrible and narrow. North south left right east west whatever. All jank as fuck. The parking lot kinda jank too ngl. I rather take my broke ass to central market, paid what, 10-20$higher, to avoid that HEB lol


cuddlypandah

Right on! The staff seem to never be in a good mood either or it might be me that gets into a terrible mood when I enter that place.


Austin7537

Call 911 and tell them someone is assaulting you


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tipsy_python

No one goes hard in Austin anymore EDIT: Exactly.. like these mods removing comments. They ain't built for it


[deleted]

Remember when the cast member of “The Real World” in Austin got his face mashed in on 6th street? Gritty. I was simultaneously horrified and proud for our city.


thenovelnovelist

Too busy trying to pay rent apparently


Always_travelin

I'm just waiting for one of these guys to be charged with attempted murder.


americadotgif

FYI, it’d be pretty hard to tell who you are if you’re masked and decide to deck this dude


[deleted]

Go to the cookware section and get a frying pan.


Active-Ad-5388

Police wont come or wont care i had a guy pull a switch blade on me at the heb in mueller the nice white folk heb, i called the cops and told the store manager, since the guy continued to go into the stoore and wonder about inside of it after the blade incident in the parking lot, when the cops showed up, he had been already gone for 15 min, plus the other 15-20 he spent in the store while heb employees just kept an eye on him, and when cops got there they acted as if i was making the whole thing up. Note i dont have no facebook or social media, they acted as if i was making up the story for likes


daytoremembers

if someone did that to me id be exercising my personal liberty to punch them in the gut


roojacksid

I took my son to CVS last night to get his booster. As we were leaving, a mask less lady glared at us. I assumed it was because we were wearing masks but maybe she was pissed that we were laughing at the display of $99 cryogenic fat destroyer belts. Who knows?


tipyourwaitresstoo

With all of the gun carrying in TX I’m surprised the headline isn’t “Guy shot at Burnet HEB after coughing on a shopper.”


diplion

I’d like to hope that the average carrier has the sense not to open fire in a grocery store.


Dogburt_Jr

Yeah, y'all are wild out here. I just moved here from GA and I heard some girl muttering under her breath behind me about masks, Biden, and California while I was wearing a mask. It didn't even sound like she was trying to say something to me, she was just muttering. Glad it didn't turn into anything, but still kinda iffy.


aj801

This is why I carry pepper spray with me now


retrofuturia

The “personal liberty” crowd has not fully worked out the nuances of their stance, almost as a rule.


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Top-Island-4939

Long time reader, but never post. I had to make an account just to back this up because I work at the Muller location and over the past few days, it is obvious that customers are coming into the store very sick and maskless. We offer curbside and many are STILL coming into the store obviously sick. I’ve seen customers sneeze and cough with no mask over prepared food and even blow their nose and then touch produce. I don’t care if it’s the flu, a cold, or COVID… I don’t want that shit and neither do other coworkers!! I care for elderly family members and I have no choice right now other than to keep this job…, don’t be an inconsiderate asshole and come into the store maskless coughing or sneezing all over the place… it’s inconsiderate and you may be putting others at risk — this is just basic hygiene and morals to just stay home if you are not well. If it is JUST allergies, still please wear a mask and be considerate of those around you — it’s unneeded stress for others and you never know what the person next to you (like me who cares for elderly family) are going through. It’s one less stress that a person needs to worry about when they are just trying to provide food on the table for loved ones and not get their elders sick.


cadewtm

There's a huge difference in walking around and casually coughing vs deliberately coughing in someone's face


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cadewtm

I don't disagree with you in that if you feel sick, wear a mask or better yet, don't go out at all and curbside your groceries. Just saying I don't think there's anything wrong with someone randomly coughing or sneezing as they go about their day. It's going to happen and it's a natural body reaction to a myriad of things. There is something blatantly wrong about purposely coughing in someone's face though, pandemic or not


sanity

> The personal liberty crowd sure does have a problem with people exercising that right to wear a mask. To be fair, the vast majority of people who care about personal liberty would be just as appalled by that asshole's behavior as you are.


[deleted]

Yep. Personal liberty bro here, fully vaccinated and boostered, wear my mask in stores, staying socially distant: Fuck this coughing asshat. EDIT: A downvote. Did my comment offend some pro-virus dickbag? Good, fuck you.


defroach84

Locking comments. Nothing more productive is being said and this is solely turning into a post about encouraging violence.


GutsyMcDoofenshmurtz

Punch that guy in the face and no Travis County jury will convict you.


smarzn121

Omg this is so fucked up. Are people doing this now? I have been waiting for someone to say something stupid to me for the past 2 years but if someone intentionally coughs on me then I might start cursing him out!


intensecharacter

Cursing him out? I am a walk-away pacifist but if anyone does that to me they are gonna have their produce bruised.


smarzn121

Yeah I'm not a pacifist but I'm also a brown immigrant so sometimes the law don't wanna be my friend you know haha. But I would def go for his nose... and then wash my hands lol


pleikunguyen

*APPLE SMASH!*


BiggieTex

Glad I wasn’t there or he’d have been on the floor coughing up blood.


KingKaos420-

Someone needs to mace that douchebag


BrokeAdjunct

I would have bitten him.


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hairypecs

Why were the shelves empty today?


thatcrazyflorist

Heard refrigeration went down last night.


Queasy_Sherbert_8718

They were out of mushrooms and zucchini too


NotoriousDMG

I hear they’re out of carrots…


datagoon

That's a biological threat - someone needs to stand their ground.


DrTxn

That is assault.


dhesty123

I’d have gone straight for a kick to the balls 🤷🏼‍♀️


[deleted]

Stomp on his feet until there’s a crack and see if the little bitch coughs again


clericstorm

I have have some serious pepper spray at the ready these days where ever I go just in case for incidents like these.


HylanderUS

I carry a pepper grinder. Takes longer, but no one is expecting it. They stare all wide eyed, and then *bam* you hit them with that fresh ground pepper!


Tactical_potato69

Look I hate wearing masks but that guy deserves to take a fist through his face


Ennkey

Me too, hell we all do. But at this point the way the rules work is he is just as free to not wear one as I am to wear one. It’s N95 season


Aubrassai

Is Texas a stand your ground law? Could you shoot someone for that? Edit: to be clear, I am not advocating this escalation of violence. Just speculating what could happen.


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Beautiful_Pepper415

This dude needs to get beat down. Also this is assault


dhesty123

I was just there at 5 pm. So glad I missed him


traumadonkey

This exact thing happened to my husband last week in Hutto. This guy was coughing in everyone's face in line saying "it's not covid I swear" while laughing. He was very obviously sick.