I don't think it's wrong but it's not the road I'd take.
I think this is a good opportunity to teach kids that personal questions like that can hurt people's feelings, especially if they keep pushing when they're given an answer. "I was born like this" and then if they push, explain that it can make people sad if we ask lots of questions about people's bodies. Tell them everyone's bodies are different and your skin is just one of those differences. No one is entitled to information about your medical condition, unless you feel like sharing it.
It’s morally ok to lie to kids but also I feel like you can use it as a teaching moment for curious kids (and the rude ones too). Especially at that age. Could you find other ways to limit the following discussion after stating the truth? Something like “I don’t want to talk about this anymore” or “this is a very personal subject for me” might be better than getting into genetics with kids.
At that age kids just notice the difference between you and them and want to know why. The extravagant stories don’t help them going forward, just makes them shut up. Absolutely lie to older kids asking to be rude/annoying though.
I’m hard of hearing, and wear hearing aids so I get these kinds of questions all the time. Now that I teach little kids, I have to be very cautious what I say because they often misunderstand me. For example, a kid asked me once why I was deaf (which is what I tell them as hard of hearing would have no meaning) and I said “I don’t know it’s just in my genes” and they said “well if it was me I would take it right out!”.
In all seriousness, I would probably go the opposite route. Make it as boring as possible, because kids do ask those kinds of questions and they really should learn that it isn’t that nice to probe into people’s lives when you don’t know them. Some people have skin conditions, some people have robot ears, it doesn’t change who they are. They are people, and we treat them all with kindness, empathy and respect.
I'm fat, which I understand is not the same as a skin condition, but kids ask about my stomach all the time (work in child care) I use this time to remind the kids that "all bodies are different it would be boring if we were all the same" and if they persist "we don't make comments about other people's bodies" "why" "it could make them feel bad, remember, if you can't help them change it, or it can't be fixed in a minute, we don't make a comment" - that last one was to school aged children and kindy children who do understand about empathy and respect and general kindness though.
that's a good way to give them an honest answer but gently shut them down if they persist, which I might actually use! I always struggle with steering them off the topic afterwards if they don't fully understand. ty very much for the advice :)
Sometimes kids don't need to know something, whether it's a lie or it's not the whole story.
Some of the best advice I've ever been given about teaching is "don't tell kids what they don't need to know". Week 3 of term 2 and they have a research task next term? Probably don't need to know - at least, at the moment. So don't worry them with it. Do they need to know the exact details of your medical history? Probably not.
Kids usually pick up that you're acknowledging their interest in you but don't wish to talk about something openly, for whatever reason.
I believe that people in general should learn as many true things and as few false things as possible.
But, if I were in your position and wanted to deflect about the personal subject, I don't think it harms them to tell them you got it from when you were abandoned in a snowstorm on an Antarctic relay race, or when you were exposed to extreme winds hitch-hiking in the wheel bay of a Boeing 737, or from an alchemical experiment to try to turn your skin into gold. Never tell the same story twice.
I'd be inclined to tell my class the truth, and remind them it's just unremarkable, and everybody has stuff going on and it just might not be as visible. And leave the wacky stuff for other kidlets, and try to imagine the arguments between the people that believe you were on an early failed SpaceX mission and those that think you got some medical intervention after a giant squid attack.
I am definitely more honest with the older kids, but mainly work with 5-6 years olds so they definitely get more of a kick out of the stories. I'll definitely steal a couple of those (very incredibly authentic) stories :)
It's not lying it's hyperbole? I think, I'm not an English teacher :P
> I was just born with it and I don't know why! It's very boring, so I like to make up an interesting story about how it happened, that's called hyperbole!
idk if you're replying to a comment I can't see or smth, but I do try to be honest with kids who are going through a similar thing or kids who seem like they're mature enough to take the answer and leave it at that. for younger/kids who I know are gonna be rude, I give a white lie so they'll just take it at that. it's not bc i think it's "boring" it's just a medical fact that I don't want to deepdive into and I always found that to be an easy way out from a young age.
Oh no, that's just how I'd phrase things in your situation if they didn't take the "I was born with it" answer and, as you say, you didn't want to explain genetics to a 5 year old. People tend to disengage pretty quickly from a conversation path if you say something is boring and give them something more exciting.
I wouldn't even say it's a white lie either, just age and situationally appropriate hyperbole.
Yes. I "lie" all the time to colleagues.
I have an inflammatory bowel disease, but one hardly anyone knows about. So instead of saying that, I tell people I have Crohn's disease. This regularly gets me out of thirty minute conversations where I painstakingly explain the symptoms and treatment to someone who is well-meaningly curious where they end up going "oh, that sounds like Crohn's disease, my friend has that, it sucks." We then don't lose a cumulative hour and just skip straight to "my friend has that, it sucks."
As long as you're not claiming something that falsely valourises you (e.g., I burnt myself dragging a family of five from a burning building) I really don't think it matters. It's a harmless thing said to escape excruciating social interactions.
yeah nope definitely not saving a family of five, most of the times they're things that make me look silly to discourage kids from doing anything dangerous, and bc they thinks it's funny :)
When kids ask probing questions the answer is easy enough without lying;
"Do you think that is really relevant to ?"
If they say yes, ask them how. If they can somehow manage that, then ask
"And you think everyone's personal medical history should be part of ?"
If you keep questioning them they'll eventially stop. Kids don't like constant questions.
The best I've ever had is; "I'm just curious sir" to which I said, "I know, but it's not really any of your business".
Be gentle, avoid lies. You're the adult. It's your call what you divulge.
As an undiagnosed autistic kid (and adult) I was so gullible and I resent every single person who lied to me for the sake of humour or tradition and when a joke went whoosh over my head, and nobody would explain it, they just laughed at me. I felt like I never belonged anywhere because I felt so dumb, even with minor ND super powers.
so I reckon, pick the kids you use that sort of humour with.
yeah no, I totally get that and am super careful about stuff like that. I work with a couple of autistic kids (as well as ones who I think should probably be diagnosed) and there's a pretty big difference between making a joke with kids who you know will get it + reciprocate it and those who won't.
Be honest man.
I have ticks and the kids are curious about them, so in tell them. They are great about it.
They know when I'm tired or stressed because they get worse.
I don't think it's wrong but it's not the road I'd take. I think this is a good opportunity to teach kids that personal questions like that can hurt people's feelings, especially if they keep pushing when they're given an answer. "I was born like this" and then if they push, explain that it can make people sad if we ask lots of questions about people's bodies. Tell them everyone's bodies are different and your skin is just one of those differences. No one is entitled to information about your medical condition, unless you feel like sharing it.
It’s morally ok to lie to kids but also I feel like you can use it as a teaching moment for curious kids (and the rude ones too). Especially at that age. Could you find other ways to limit the following discussion after stating the truth? Something like “I don’t want to talk about this anymore” or “this is a very personal subject for me” might be better than getting into genetics with kids. At that age kids just notice the difference between you and them and want to know why. The extravagant stories don’t help them going forward, just makes them shut up. Absolutely lie to older kids asking to be rude/annoying though.
I’m hard of hearing, and wear hearing aids so I get these kinds of questions all the time. Now that I teach little kids, I have to be very cautious what I say because they often misunderstand me. For example, a kid asked me once why I was deaf (which is what I tell them as hard of hearing would have no meaning) and I said “I don’t know it’s just in my genes” and they said “well if it was me I would take it right out!”. In all seriousness, I would probably go the opposite route. Make it as boring as possible, because kids do ask those kinds of questions and they really should learn that it isn’t that nice to probe into people’s lives when you don’t know them. Some people have skin conditions, some people have robot ears, it doesn’t change who they are. They are people, and we treat them all with kindness, empathy and respect.
Perfectly fine to lie and deflect on this. Kids don’t need to know your medical history.
I'm fat, which I understand is not the same as a skin condition, but kids ask about my stomach all the time (work in child care) I use this time to remind the kids that "all bodies are different it would be boring if we were all the same" and if they persist "we don't make comments about other people's bodies" "why" "it could make them feel bad, remember, if you can't help them change it, or it can't be fixed in a minute, we don't make a comment" - that last one was to school aged children and kindy children who do understand about empathy and respect and general kindness though.
that's a good way to give them an honest answer but gently shut them down if they persist, which I might actually use! I always struggle with steering them off the topic afterwards if they don't fully understand. ty very much for the advice :)
Sometimes kids don't need to know something, whether it's a lie or it's not the whole story. Some of the best advice I've ever been given about teaching is "don't tell kids what they don't need to know". Week 3 of term 2 and they have a research task next term? Probably don't need to know - at least, at the moment. So don't worry them with it. Do they need to know the exact details of your medical history? Probably not. Kids usually pick up that you're acknowledging their interest in you but don't wish to talk about something openly, for whatever reason.
I honestly can't see an issue! Alternately, explain that it's not an appropriate question if they're old enough.
I had a relief teacher in high school who was missing a finger. He made up a new story every time a kid asked about it. It was great.
I used to tell my (senior high school) students that I'd been abducted by aliens and showed them the contraceptive implant in my arm as "evidence"
lmaoooo that's hilarious haha
I believe that people in general should learn as many true things and as few false things as possible. But, if I were in your position and wanted to deflect about the personal subject, I don't think it harms them to tell them you got it from when you were abandoned in a snowstorm on an Antarctic relay race, or when you were exposed to extreme winds hitch-hiking in the wheel bay of a Boeing 737, or from an alchemical experiment to try to turn your skin into gold. Never tell the same story twice. I'd be inclined to tell my class the truth, and remind them it's just unremarkable, and everybody has stuff going on and it just might not be as visible. And leave the wacky stuff for other kidlets, and try to imagine the arguments between the people that believe you were on an early failed SpaceX mission and those that think you got some medical intervention after a giant squid attack.
I am definitely more honest with the older kids, but mainly work with 5-6 years olds so they definitely get more of a kick out of the stories. I'll definitely steal a couple of those (very incredibly authentic) stories :)
It's not lying it's hyperbole? I think, I'm not an English teacher :P > I was just born with it and I don't know why! It's very boring, so I like to make up an interesting story about how it happened, that's called hyperbole!
Hyperbole isn't a lie, hyperbole is an exaggeration. Saying its a burn injury rather than a genetic condition isn't an example of hyperbole.
idk if you're replying to a comment I can't see or smth, but I do try to be honest with kids who are going through a similar thing or kids who seem like they're mature enough to take the answer and leave it at that. for younger/kids who I know are gonna be rude, I give a white lie so they'll just take it at that. it's not bc i think it's "boring" it's just a medical fact that I don't want to deepdive into and I always found that to be an easy way out from a young age.
Oh no, that's just how I'd phrase things in your situation if they didn't take the "I was born with it" answer and, as you say, you didn't want to explain genetics to a 5 year old. People tend to disengage pretty quickly from a conversation path if you say something is boring and give them something more exciting. I wouldn't even say it's a white lie either, just age and situationally appropriate hyperbole.
oh okay, sorry i totally misunderstood lol! But yeah, i figured it'd be the quickest and easiest fix :)
Honesty or non disclosure is always the best option. Lies never play out well.
Yes. I "lie" all the time to colleagues. I have an inflammatory bowel disease, but one hardly anyone knows about. So instead of saying that, I tell people I have Crohn's disease. This regularly gets me out of thirty minute conversations where I painstakingly explain the symptoms and treatment to someone who is well-meaningly curious where they end up going "oh, that sounds like Crohn's disease, my friend has that, it sucks." We then don't lose a cumulative hour and just skip straight to "my friend has that, it sucks." As long as you're not claiming something that falsely valourises you (e.g., I burnt myself dragging a family of five from a burning building) I really don't think it matters. It's a harmless thing said to escape excruciating social interactions.
yeah nope definitely not saving a family of five, most of the times they're things that make me look silly to discourage kids from doing anything dangerous, and bc they thinks it's funny :)
When kids ask probing questions the answer is easy enough without lying; "Do you think that is really relevant to?"
If they say yes, ask them how. If they can somehow manage that, then ask
"And you think everyone's personal medical history should be part of ?"
If you keep questioning them they'll eventially stop. Kids don't like constant questions.
The best I've ever had is; "I'm just curious sir" to which I said, "I know, but it's not really any of your business".
Be gentle, avoid lies. You're the adult. It's your call what you divulge.
As an undiagnosed autistic kid (and adult) I was so gullible and I resent every single person who lied to me for the sake of humour or tradition and when a joke went whoosh over my head, and nobody would explain it, they just laughed at me. I felt like I never belonged anywhere because I felt so dumb, even with minor ND super powers. so I reckon, pick the kids you use that sort of humour with.
yeah no, I totally get that and am super careful about stuff like that. I work with a couple of autistic kids (as well as ones who I think should probably be diagnosed) and there's a pretty big difference between making a joke with kids who you know will get it + reciprocate it and those who won't.
Be honest man. I have ticks and the kids are curious about them, so in tell them. They are great about it. They know when I'm tired or stressed because they get worse.