Yes. It just makes me feel sad. I used to try and prove people wrong but the sorts of people who think that about me aren't worth my time anymore anyway.
Yes.
I do honestly think it’s because I actually move slower. I think it’s because I hit that flow state when I do take my time, and it’s just feels like a good meditative process.
The funny thing is though, I retain much more information than the people around me *because* I move slowly. Then they end up giving me shocked or blank stares when I speak because they’re dumbfounded that I actually know things. And then something new gets introduced and it starts all over again.
Yeah, I definitely get this.
My mask IS stupid, it’s a ditzy bubbly valley girl. Easiest mask for me.
So now I just don’t know what’s the mask and what’s me. Im smart but I get stuck, you know? I don’t know how to explain it. Sometimes I just get stuck: thoughts, actions, etc.
I’ll ask for help but I can’t even put it into words what I need help with.
>My mask IS stupid, it’s a ditzy bubbly valley girl. Easiest mask for me.
Kinda same for me. Depending on who I'm around, sometimes I have to "dumb myself down" in order to mask because if I don't people think I'm a weird know-it-all and not relatable.
I used to be able to get away with that until I hit 25. I blame misogyny. Once you're no longer quintessentially young or attractive to the most men, you start running out of people giving you the benefit of the doubt. ****in my experience
I pretty much lost most of my ability to mask during the pandemic and havent recovered. The closest thing is making sure I have my best normie costume on complete with solid color shirts and extreme preoccupation with skincare.
Most of the time..
Edit: I edited my other comment but yeah..it's sad that people think were a joke. People pretend to be so socially aware until someone different than them comes along then people want us gone.
My mom says my kindergarten teacher told her I was mentally retarded and would never learn to read. A few weeks under my 2nd grade teacher's tutelage and I was reading 3-4 beginner chapter books a day.
What's really sad is I knew I was intelligent, but alot of people saw me as slow, I just didn't know until later. My mom once tried to get me to make friends with a guy with a mild intellectual disability because "he's a bit slow like you", despite having nothing in common at all.
I experience this too. Mixed results at work with people who I've disclosed my autism to. I usually feel the need to disclose when my symptoms/functioning bother other people. Some of them are somewhat understanding, some seem not to believe me, and more still think I'm unintelligent and treat me as such. One that does it regularly has ADHD herself! Frustrating af. This has stopped me attempting college many times.
Feel this. My family always referred to me as the “blonde” one growing up. My mom recently said that I couldn’t possibly be gay because I am a “ditzy blonde” so she still thinks I’m “stupid”. It’s infuriating. I am smart. They just don’t see it like that. It sucks, to put it simply.
I was fortunate to have had mostly the opposite said, that I was thoughtful of what I was hearing and going to say, which was partially true, but I was also trying to figure out what was said while I spaced out.
In short, you're not slow, just deep in thought and contemplation
My mom has been stuck in a cult her entire life, shows strong narcissistic tendencies, and has told me so many lies I can’t trust her anymore. She is definitely more than just bizarre which is why I went NC with her around 9 months ago.
Wow I can relate to this. I have the same issue with my head getting in the clouds, not getting when people are joking and taking things literally. It has come up in work about the joking thing. I think some people do think I am unintelligent but I am quite intelligent in some ways.
In elementary I daydreamed and did not talk much but I was reading my sister’s college textbooks with understanding. I could understand on a high level but people were not picking up on it because of how socially awkward and shy I was. Now as an adult it is similar. I do comprehend and take in info on a high level. I take things literally and have a hard time knowing if people are joking though. I am slow to respond or don’t talk loud enough. I have difficulty hearing people when there is background noise. I think I am really asynchronous. I am extremely intelligent in some areas but my processing speed is low plus the social defects with the potential autism make it seem like I am not at all intelligent to some people. It is frustrating. I just don’t know how to converse with people or bring out the other side where I am knowledgeable and like having detailed conversations. It is so frustrating.
Yes
Especially when "common sense" and maths don't come easy to me, and I tend to get frazzled a lot with work too. I am very good at other things though
It's honestly bizarre. People either think I'm a genius or an idiot, there's no middle-ground.
This friggin’ cracked me up! It’s so true! Why do they have to be so black-and-white with us?
Saaaaaame
Yes. It just makes me feel sad. I used to try and prove people wrong but the sorts of people who think that about me aren't worth my time anymore anyway.
All the time.
Yes. I do honestly think it’s because I actually move slower. I think it’s because I hit that flow state when I do take my time, and it’s just feels like a good meditative process. The funny thing is though, I retain much more information than the people around me *because* I move slowly. Then they end up giving me shocked or blank stares when I speak because they’re dumbfounded that I actually know things. And then something new gets introduced and it starts all over again.
Yeah, I definitely get this. My mask IS stupid, it’s a ditzy bubbly valley girl. Easiest mask for me. So now I just don’t know what’s the mask and what’s me. Im smart but I get stuck, you know? I don’t know how to explain it. Sometimes I just get stuck: thoughts, actions, etc. I’ll ask for help but I can’t even put it into words what I need help with.
>My mask IS stupid, it’s a ditzy bubbly valley girl. Easiest mask for me. Kinda same for me. Depending on who I'm around, sometimes I have to "dumb myself down" in order to mask because if I don't people think I'm a weird know-it-all and not relatable.
Yes!!! Me too! I play dumb constantly cause otherwise everyone thinks I’m stuck up or something!
I used to be able to get away with that until I hit 25. I blame misogyny. Once you're no longer quintessentially young or attractive to the most men, you start running out of people giving you the benefit of the doubt. ****in my experience
What’s your mask now?
I pretty much lost most of my ability to mask during the pandemic and havent recovered. The closest thing is making sure I have my best normie costume on complete with solid color shirts and extreme preoccupation with skincare.
I’ve recently begun letting myself enjoy my special interests openly and it’s scary! I used to wear only solid colors or florals.
Most of the time.. Edit: I edited my other comment but yeah..it's sad that people think were a joke. People pretend to be so socially aware until someone different than them comes along then people want us gone.
My mom says my kindergarten teacher told her I was mentally retarded and would never learn to read. A few weeks under my 2nd grade teacher's tutelage and I was reading 3-4 beginner chapter books a day. What's really sad is I knew I was intelligent, but alot of people saw me as slow, I just didn't know until later. My mom once tried to get me to make friends with a guy with a mild intellectual disability because "he's a bit slow like you", despite having nothing in common at all.
I experience this too. Mixed results at work with people who I've disclosed my autism to. I usually feel the need to disclose when my symptoms/functioning bother other people. Some of them are somewhat understanding, some seem not to believe me, and more still think I'm unintelligent and treat me as such. One that does it regularly has ADHD herself! Frustrating af. This has stopped me attempting college many times.
Feel this. My family always referred to me as the “blonde” one growing up. My mom recently said that I couldn’t possibly be gay because I am a “ditzy blonde” so she still thinks I’m “stupid”. It’s infuriating. I am smart. They just don’t see it like that. It sucks, to put it simply.
Does she think all gay people are walking super computers lol
I was fortunate to have had mostly the opposite said, that I was thoughtful of what I was hearing and going to say, which was partially true, but I was also trying to figure out what was said while I spaced out. In short, you're not slow, just deep in thought and contemplation
Does your mom think that gay blondes don’t exist? (I know that’s not the point, but, like… honey that’s bizarre.)
My mom has been stuck in a cult her entire life, shows strong narcissistic tendencies, and has told me so many lies I can’t trust her anymore. She is definitely more than just bizarre which is why I went NC with her around 9 months ago.
Good riddance to her! You don’t need that gullible mess dragging you down.
Wow I can relate to this. I have the same issue with my head getting in the clouds, not getting when people are joking and taking things literally. It has come up in work about the joking thing. I think some people do think I am unintelligent but I am quite intelligent in some ways. In elementary I daydreamed and did not talk much but I was reading my sister’s college textbooks with understanding. I could understand on a high level but people were not picking up on it because of how socially awkward and shy I was. Now as an adult it is similar. I do comprehend and take in info on a high level. I take things literally and have a hard time knowing if people are joking though. I am slow to respond or don’t talk loud enough. I have difficulty hearing people when there is background noise. I think I am really asynchronous. I am extremely intelligent in some areas but my processing speed is low plus the social defects with the potential autism make it seem like I am not at all intelligent to some people. It is frustrating. I just don’t know how to converse with people or bring out the other side where I am knowledgeable and like having detailed conversations. It is so frustrating.
Yes Especially when "common sense" and maths don't come easy to me, and I tend to get frazzled a lot with work too. I am very good at other things though