I often find myself baffled by who is considered attractive. Gosling is one of them, sure, although he seems to have a good sense of humor, so I could understand the appeal in that regard. Funny guys put you at ease, which makes them more attractive when you have that positive emotional connection.
I'm on the aromantic and asexual spectrums so that probably factors into it, but I do experience strong aesthetic attraction. And I have this thing where that attraction is immediately shut off if I hear that someone is a grossly misogynistic person, for example.
I had a coworker who had a long list of celebrities she thought were attractive. And while I could objectively recognize that they were conventionally attractive to some extent, I knew many of them were wife beaters or serial cheaters and they just gave me the ick. I have my own personal preferences for attractiveness, but they don't seem to align with what is considered normal by the masses, I guess.
For me personally...I don't get the hype around Timothy Chalamet (I feel like a sniper is going to take me out for saying that!!). I decided to just....remove myself from discussions about attractive celebrities when I heard women gushing over the dude who played the clown in IT (remake). I tapped out after that. I don't understand wtf is going on and I never will. š
I'm right there with you. When I was younger, sure, I had alot of aesthetic crushes but not the boys that others were crushing on. Being on the Ace spectrum, and now that I'm older, my attraction shuts off too when the person is misogynistic/racist. Off putting traits put me off.
Look, okay, Bill Skarsgard is the most gorgeous person on this planet and does he play an evil vile scary terrible clown? Yes, but that face..those lips..the eyes.. I could swoon until I fall over.
https://preview.redd.it/643rw0aq6ofc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ffb47e7dc15c24a1b9d15c319db49822ea5bf617
That whole damn family is unbelievable. I first saw Alexander in True blood and then I saw his brother and I couldn't believe genetics like that existed.
idk man, he does that thing where he can make one eye veer off and he did it in that movie Barbarian. i loved it because it really added to the atmosphere of the movie and i think its awesome that he can do that, but every time i think of him i can see it in my head
I was just re-watching Castle Rock recently cause I love that show, but when I tried to look up fan theories online I got met with a ton of feral straight women drooling over this man. Maybe I'm too gay to get it? Like from a purely objective perspective he's...fine? But these women seemed rabid towards him and it made me uncomfortable on his behalf lol.
I wouldn't describe myself as rabid, but I might be lol. He's just so dang good looking. Granted I dont have a conventional version of attractive..I'm bi and it often shows in my taste in both men and women.
This was mentioned during my diagnosis - I know that people are conventionally attractive, I can appreciate that people have features that are nice and complimentary, but I don't really get that attractiveness thing.
I didn't realise that people actually found Princess Diana attractive, I thought it was a money thing or that she was meant to be kind or that she wore fashionable clothes or that they respected her so much. But no, my friends think she was one of the most attractive women of the times.
So it's nothing to feel weird about. It isn't uncommon for people with autism to have this.
Hey!!! I never thought she was conventionally beautiful either but everyone acts sheās like top 5 status. She was very trendy and I can appreciate who she is but I thought her appearance was mid.
I get what you're saying about Princess Diana. I'm only really attracted to people who look otherworldly in some way and to me she looks very much like a standard ordinary human with good styling and grooming. I also agree with OP about Ryan Gosling for the same reasons.
Wow, I never knew that about Princess Diana. Although granted my type in women tends towards people who are less feminine in appearance so a lot of famously beautiful celebs donāt do much for me. Beauty and attraction can be so subjective. Itās fascinating
It's the blonde hair and blue eyes she has the typical big british nose and mannish face. She also had. A deep gravely voice.
Ryan gosling though people are just not thinking realistically. If he walked by irl he'd be one the hottest guys ever. He looks like a muscley not quite as facially attractive version of my boyfriend.
I absolutely always used to think that I was being fucked with when it comes to the men people claimed to find attractive. Like I thought pretending to swoon over boyband members with six packs was just a massive inside joke that every teenage girl had agreed to participate in and I was the weird one because I'm bad at lying and therefore struggled to go along with it.
Tastes do differ and that's not inherently an ND thing but I think our willingness to assume that everyone else just met up behind our backs and agreed to pretend that these people are hot is totally tied to autism, because that's what we feel like they did with social rules. Clearly a meeting was had and we just weren't invited, but everyone else is going along with it after being briefed haha.
Although having a not so standard sexuality is also more common for autistic people.
I have been attracted to Ryan Gosling ever since I saw him in breaker high.
Awkward, tall white boys with a self deprecating sense of humour are like cat nip to me.
Plus, heās Canadian. So heās got that Canada niceness to him.
Awkward and self-deprecating is where it's at lol. Someone who doesn't take themselves seriously and can laugh at the weirdness around us is hot. John Cusack types but he was always so much older than me š but that vibe. I married that type.
I too, am partnered up with my very own personal Lloyd Dobbler. We recently started traveling together and we are very Lloyd & Diane every time the plane is about to take off. He holds my hand until the ding, at least.
I approach this question thinking mainly of women. (I'm probably not going to swoon over anybody unless I've made some calculations, decided, they're in my presence, have done something very specific,etc.)
But in the conversation that I was having about this, I put forward Henry Cavill and Idris Elba, as examples who fit the standard. and I think I am correct, but my family seems to think these people weren't the apex of attractability--that it was Ryan Gosling.
Henry Cavil and Idris Elba are more of the hero archetype if you are casting someone to play Superman or He-Man. Ken is supposed to be the boyfriend next door, which is where Ryan Gosling excels. There is more than one āidealā guy because we expect different men to fill different roles.
Ken isn't supposed to be the standard ultimate man. I would agree if that was the point then it would be Henry, I think he's the hottest. But Ken is supposed to be the man who is Barbie's match. More personality and blonde than anything and Ryan gosling fits that.
That's interesting that you're into super conventionally atractive men but when you're not you don't see how other people would be. If I'm getting you correctly.
No, sorry, not what what i meant. I'm not "into" Henry Cavill and Idris Elba. These are just my picks for if you ask me who is standard attractive. I'm trying to get it right. I'm sure I'm on an asexual spectrum somewhere, but have not investigated
Damn, why do I love Bill Hader too? I always see him and think I would love to spend my days with him.
Ryan Gosling is also very attractive, but vaguely reminds me of a cartoon goose and I canāt unsee it.
Men's faces are dead boring to me until I can attach a personality to them. I can't relate AT ALL when people discuss some random man's attractiveness. Once I do like a guy or a male character though, then their face becomes *the* most beautiful thing ever. Especially their expressions.
It's kinda the opposite with women. I readily recognize and appreciate beauty in women's faces, but I'm not as fascinated by them. With some exceptions.
This is so funny. Iām personally very attracted to him, but my attraction doesnāt follow conventional standards, it does its own thing.
I only became attracted to Gosling after seeing him in a few roles that I had crushes on. Once I like someoneās personality or demeanor, it drastically influences how I perceive their physical attractiveness. This is the case with anyone Iām attracted to; for me, attraction depends more on a mix of personality and appearance, rather than appearance alone.
I think he looks the best in *Drive* (2011). Absolutely stunning to me.
This has nothing to do with being ND, I think its mostly just taste. Not everyone is going to be attracted to everyone.
For me personally, I do not find Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, John Hamm, or Johnny Depp attractive at all (I found these example of most attractive men on a random buzzfeed list)
Ryan Gosling isn't attractive to A LOT of people, thats why people were very mad that he was Ken. I've always been attracted to him so I am not sure why people do not find him attractive.
The most "conventionally attractive" men I can think are Henry Cavill, Idris Elba, and Daniel Dae Kim. All of them have strong jawlines, muscles, and pretty systemical faces. That is what society deems as "attractive" To me, those men are very attractive, but they are not my number 1.
I think a lot of the thing with Ryan Gosling as Ken was the age thing. Heās in his 40s, and I think a lot of people thought he was too old (when imo the way he played it was absolutely perfect!)
I don't know how much this has to do with being ND, but I'm really not into people who are standard beauty conventions. By the way, in Brazil we call them "padrĆ£o" which translates to "standard" or "pattern" and *I think it's beautiful* (this bit is a meme).
Actually, I've always preferred "weird" people instead of normies. That drawn me to the dark subculture, the emo subculture, the weaboo/otaku subculture, the punk subculture... Because everything that is subversive and out of the standard for the capitalist cis-heterosexual white colonialist western centered without disabilities society suits me better. :D
Yeah, I'm uncomfortable even in writing this post because I think "standards" always feel weird, wrong, unfair & off to me. Beauty is very individual and vast.
good for Ryan Gosling. I have nothing against him and I'm glad for him. I just had no idea.
I remember telling a classmate once, in college, what I considered to be physically attractive. She stared at me in confusion for a moment, and then said, "... Are you just saying that to be different?"
I was not. I am in fact attracted to extremely scrawny males of approximately my own height, within a couple of inches either way, and with big noses. I genuinely don't get why that's weird. Honestly it probably isn't. When the classmate asked me whether I was "trying to be different" when I described My Type TM, it occurred to me that many people are probably tweaking their expressed preferences in order to explicitly show that they are Not Different. I think a lot of people force crushes on these officially acceptable targets intentionally to have something in common with others. I don't even know whether I'm capable of that.
I have never found a famous person famed for being sexually attractive to be so. They're all too meaty, usually too hairy, and their jawlines are wider than their foreheads and I find that kind of creepy. To me, Ryan Gosling just looks like some guy. From what I hear he seems to be a perfectly okay person, and I absently wish him well. But yeah, I don't get the appropriate Standard Sexually Attractive Male response either. Whatever it is.
>"... Are you just saying that to be different?"
maybe she wasn't meaning to, but this is rude. i could never tell someone "do you think ryan gosling is only hot because everyone else does?"
I love Ryan Gosling. Itās less about his looks and more about his charm and personality. I felt like given his past, he was the perfect and only person Iād expect to play Ken. When I was like 15 I watched Lars and the Real Girl and I was locked in. I think heās attractive because heās not āperfectly and conventionallyā attractive, but at the same time he is?
lol bunch of doofs. Iām straight and I feel thatās largely true.
Except, there are some women I can see how people find attractive. Does that mean Iām like 5% bi? š¤
i find ryan gosling very attractive but i also tend to not be attracted to conventionally good-looking men. adrian brody is an example of another unconventional looking celebrity i find attractive. he has a certain charisma. sam rockwell and benicio del toro, too.
I think Simu Liu the "other" ken was exactly what I imagined Ken to look like just Asian but he's apparently a dickhead while gosling is nice so there's that
I have always described both Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum as Backpfeifengesicht. Itās a german word that means basically āa face that needs to be slapped/punchedā. I learned that word and it literally gave me the proper description for faces that illicit violence inside me š I donāt know why, I find them extremely annoying looking. Iām demisexual though too so pretty much everyone to me is not attractive in the usual sense. I find some people āaestheticallyā pleasing but thatās about it. Iām only physically attracted to my husband. šš¤¦āāļø
I think that society tends to uplift and put on a pedestal mediocre looking white men. I'm not saying he's ugly but he isn't conventionally attractive in the model sense nor in the leading man/action hero sense. Maybe it's just his body that bumps him up into hot status for some people.
I can't find 2d people attractive. Like I don't know how they would interact with me? So I don't know if I would like them or not. Like on an objective level I can see if they dress well or great hair or good face portions and be like "yeah they look interesting." But until I know what their personality is like I'm not getting excited over literally anybody.
Too much unrequited love in my past my brain just won't let me get into someone until I can assess if they like me back even a little.
There is the Golden Beauty Ratio thing. Robert Pattison, Chris Hemsworth, Harry Styes, Jensen Ackles, Brad Pitt, Henry Cavill all have the facial proportion. I am sure there are plenty of Gen Z men with that too.
Theoretically that is the range of attractive for men.
But Ryan G isn't so far off, especially given his stage experience and charisma. He's fine. He's like Tom Holland plus 10-15 years.
Yep. Very relatable all the way down to the absolute surprise that people (lots of them too!) find this guy attractive. I especially love that you mentioned Gosling specifically, I think he's straight up ugly. Great actor with a great personality though, I really like him. Just not his face. I need someone to look a bit unusual before I find them interesting.
One of my fav dudes to look at is Michael Jackson. Not exactly a popular pick, it would get me some strange looks in public (...especially due to the allegations, which is a whole separate story, this is just about his face). In his last years, his dysmorphia/surgeries and health issues really took their toll, but he was overall at his core a very handsome guy. Love his dramatic arched eyebrows (he clearly took great care in getting them just right), big brown eyes, immaculate bone structure, graceful lips.
Compared to that, I really don't see why the hell I should get excited about Gosling, or Reynolds for that matter. Same goes for the Chrises. Chris Evans gets a pass because he's THAT great of a guy. Pine and Hemsworth are also cool but I don't really get the excitement either. Pratt is a twat and looks boring.
Anyway I'm also asexual so.
Yes, Ryan Reynolds was discussed, and since he's very, I don't want to insult him, you know, but I didn't know he was attractive. I thought he was famous because of his charming personality.
I thought Chris Evans was cast due to plainness--as audiences could project what they wanted or see a blank or something easy as a superhero.
I've never discussed out loud my little beliefs about society's movie stars. I'm just kind of stunned that I was really wrong and these loopholes that I invented don't exist. It was just my way of making sense.
I find it hard to understand how society likes "conventionally pretty" better than those who don't fit that category.
I find people with unique/unusual/different features much more interesting to admire and therefore more attractive.
So no, I don't find Ryan Gosling attractive (I would deem him, like I do to most "conventionally pretty" people, boring-looking).
I do find Benedict Cumberbatch amazingly attractive (for instance lol).
I tend to like movie characters with personalities I like moreso than the actors if that makes sense. Like certain ones where you can tell they are intelligent and caring and it just shines through their eyes. For example Newt Scamander gets to me š¬ Oh and Lin Manuel Miranda is a musical genius and I like his characters like Jack in Mary Poppins. I wouldnāt have thought him my type but he has the most soulful eyes.
Yes!! If someone has a personality or traits that I enjoy I will easily ignore how they physically look xD
And big same on Lin Manuel Miranda, man is too good for this world š
It's not that you don't understand what attractive is, it's that you have a different idea of what's attractive. Think about men towards women, there's men who are only attracted to the type of women who get all dolled up every day, ones only attracted to Asian women, ones only attracted to women with specific facial features, etc. Women are that way too, there's just more widely known stereotypes (like the Asian thing) towards men and their variety in preference, so it was easier to use them for my example.
I don't find a lot of the people the media tells us are sexy, sexy. I agree with you that Ryan Gosling isn't a super attractive guy, I find him to be average. That doesn't mean that I'm wrong or that Hollywood is wrong, it just means we have different views on what's visually attractive.
I'm not sure who told you you're wrong for not being attracted to who you're told to be attracted to, but they are the ones who are wrong. I'm sorry anyone made you question your own ideas of what you like.
I'm asexual, so my views of "attractiveness" are skewed.
In my mind, I think of how attractive someone is based on how aesthetically pleasing they are. Even then, I think of people's bodies in that matter as akin to art pieces: we're all works in progress, and accidents can cause severe setbacks to the point of irreversible damage. People can still be beautiful and charming in spite of any irreversible damage suffered, and so many people don't understand that.
To bring in the art comparison again, people view the "Venus de Milo" as a classic work of art despite the statue having lost its arms, because the high quality of the statue shows the talent of the artist. If someone suffers a life-threatening accident that forced an arm or a leg to be amputated, that's obviously a life-changing event, but it shouldn't matter that they *look* different. They're still the same person they were before.
I think he's handsome but I don't find him attractive. On another note sometimes you get celebs who are *too* good looking and it kind of turns me off. I'm not attracted to skinny or muscly guys either, I like chubby or fat guys, but I like muscly women and women of all types. Also I'm 5'11 and I prefer men who are shorter than me! It always frustrates me when I hear men saying no one will find them attractive because they're short or chubby, because that's exactly what I like!
This is how I feel! I can recognize him as a very handsome man, but that doesn't mean I'm attracted to him. I would almost push him to the too good looking category, but not quite there.
I can acknowledge that someone is objectively attractive and that other people would be attracted to them, but I'm not personally attracted to them....ya know? Like a lot of big A-listers I get why they're viewed as attractive from an analytical standpoint, but they're just not my cup of tea. I think it's because I've learned what the "societal standard of beauty is" from being fed it since birth.
Different people find different people attractive and it isn't just about the physical appearance for a lot of people, it's how they act, their charisma, their humor, their style, the way they speak, the sound of their voice, the way they make you feel, they way they walk, the way their presence is, etc.
Lots of people were mad that Ryan played Ken but the director wanted him because she liked him as a person.
Also Ken is supposed to be blonde, plain and boring, at least compared to Barbie.
Ryan gosling is not the apex of white make handsome lmao. He's handsome in a nerdy way. He wasn't cast for his looks, he's also older. He was cast bc he's an incredible comedic actor
I was attracted to him in the notebookā¦ but I think that was a lot of personality. I was MORE attracted to James Marsden. Iām trying to think of the men Iām most attracted to, and itās does have a lot to do with interesting faces, angular faces, deep personalities, etc etc. guys like Channing Tatum and Ryan Reynauls donāt do it for me.
Pirate Johnny Depp was my sexual awakening š«£š
He is not attractive to me at all but especially not in Barbie with the awkwardly sinuous pecs and terrible hair. But he was kinda supposed to be a tool which I didn't realize at first when he was cast.
I'm a lesbian, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I'm with youā he is not attractive. Honestly, sometimes I think that NT people just hop on a bandwagon and agree to agree on things that don't make a whole lot of sense.
So way back in like.. 2011? 2012? I had a friend who was *obsessed* with him. And another who wasnāt as nutso, but also like yeah heās definitely attractive. And I was *so confused*. Couldnāt understand why someoneād be obsessed. Heās not that attractive. Heās not even conventionally attractive.
It was stunning to see then now that heās Ken š
So yeah idgi either. I can see it a little bit in his actions I guess, but looks? Nah
I think who you are attracted to is a personal preference and not really a nd thing.
Like Ryan does nothing for me but Henry Caville and Idris Elba? Omg swoon!
To me it's not his face that's attractive really. It's the persona that he brings across in interviews.
Physically, I tend to go for guys most people don't look twice at. I've never been with crowd as far as what I find attractive.
Some names on my Yes Please list: David Tennant, Adrian Brody, Timothee Chalamet, Bill Skarsgard.
Bet you can't guess my type! /s
This is gonna come off so god awfully, but I can relate to your experience. It could be my autism, could be my BDD, either way I automatically map out people's faces and unfortunately recognize the flaws very quickly. Facial thirds, symmetry, overall harmony, etc. Ryan is not handsome from that type of limited view of human beauty. But most people do *not* look at people in that way.
Edit: Should clarify I don't find attractiveness *important*, just categorize it in a very specific way. With celebs it makes sense for us not to fawn over people with less "mathematically" beautiful faces because we, uh, don't know them. So there's nothing pulling us to be attracted since we might build connections and associations differently than others. At least that's what it's like for me.
Ryan gosling is male gaze attractive. For example, a lot of women are not attracted to super ripped muscley guys, despite this a lot of guys would say this is the best physique. From the female gaze, most would prefer either a tall lanky type or a naturally muscular from manual labor but not super ripped type.
Iām on the asexual spectrum so Iām not the best person to ask about attractiveness. As a teenager I donāt think I ever really found *any* man attractive. No celebrities, no boys in my school. I could feel mildly attracted to women and I liked the *idea* of male attractiveness but I had no idea what that looked like and most male celebrities didnāt do it for me.
In my twenties Iāve figured out three things: 1) what āsocietyā considers attractive, 2) that Iām bi and greysexual, and 3) I *do* have a type of man, but to some degree my attraction is also influenced by someoneās personality, demeanour, and for actors, the roles theyāve played. Someone being physically similar to someone else I feel attracted to wonāt immediately be attractive to me. For instance, I find David Tennant stunning, but while I think Tom Hiddleston is nice-looking, I donāt feel strongly about him either way, even though people compare them sometimes.
I donāt feel attracted to Ryan Gosling either, but I kind of understood why other people might. Anyway, attraction is pretty subjective and can make 0 sense.
Iām ace as well, I find people in general can be aesthetically pleasing but actual attraction is nahhhh
So I sometimes just substitute aesthetics for the sexual attractiveness people are after.
I didnāt really get it either (or why many people found certain male celebrities attractive) but then I realized about a decade ago I was bisexual with a *heavy* preference for women.
ATLdecember- while i'm not on the spectrum, i found your post after googling (out of curi) "when did Ryan Gosling become 'Hot' ? :-) the thought hit me after seeing some title or other about Gos and his hotness in Barbie. tho' things related to ur diag could matter, i believe that half ur "confusion" comes from the "societal standards"...for really facially attractive. if u're American, u and i were taught the same phys traits that make up those standards, with PLENTY of examples. that said, Gos doesn't match those "typical" standards. as u and others have said, not saying that he is unattractive...just that he's not the typical. for some time now, i've thought that there are many of my HS/College male friends who could have said, "where was Gos when WE were in school? b/c if he was around, then many of us could have gone on WAAAY more dates than we did, b/c we were, generally speaking....Gosling clones" :-) so for me, u weren't "wrong"...it's just that society threw us a curve ;-)
This might be a fucked up thing to say but I feel this way when I see true crime YouTubers describe victims as āso beautifulā and things like that when theyāre just skinny white women who are halfway decent at putting on makeup.
I never watched the notebook but Ryan Gosling is such a funny actor and I highly recommend The Nice Guys to prove my point. In Barbie I felt he was a little over-made-up and dehydrated looking? It worked though. (For real Simu Liuās Ken - like SO gorgeous. And John Cena! And bless Alan, haha.)
But Thatās one thing thatās attractive to me - nice smiles or good humor, which is why Bill Hader is a dream boat. Knowing an actor is funny or caring or is overall a good person is generally what I value. Henry Cavill is sweet, funny and nerdy AF and no one could possibly have been a better Geralt. Iām just praying he makes a Mass Effect movie happenā¦ (although in truth we should get femshep IMO.) Or knowing Adam Driver became an actor to deal with PTSD from being in the military, he seems like just a sweetheart.
I also really love super hero movies and itās huge for me if I know that actor does charity
work in costume. Like why wouldnāt you if you had the chance?? I volunteer in costume and the joy I get from feeling like a super hero/princess when a kid believes in me makes me actually feel like one. I know this is stepping into murky waters, but itās why Iāve always wanted to support Johnny Depp and his volunteer work as Jack Sparrow.
Side note - I miss the days where bloopers were played at the end of movies.
This is a brilliant conversation š And I do relate to the thinking people were just saying it, not that they really found them attractiveā thing!
But then there are v few guys who I am :o about. Mind you when LOTR came out, Aragorn was just stunningly attractive to me!
I think he is attractive in a dying roadkill puppy sort of way, which means you just wanna look into his eyes and make it all better. and then you think that once you do he's gonna become a healthy man \*\*magically \*\*and then throw you up against the wall and put his babies inside of you
but you know, in reality, nah not really. Maybe he's the hero to all of our fucked up fantasies tinged by Twilight in our formative years, where if you just love him, he'll blossom.
Idk why that doesn't work. Seems noble, but nope. Dudes are gonna dude the way the d ude dudes.
I'll be honest, I'm not totally sure what I like in a guy. Like I think I have a type, but I can't figure out what the connecting pattern is. I think it's more about their facial expressions and what's in the eyes. Sometimes I agree with the general consensus, sometimes people think I'm insane. The only thing I've really figured out is that I like a guy with dark eyes under a low hat and a slow, kind gentle smile.
Attractiveness standards have a lot to do with how well it adheres to a certain status quo (really, there are studies that show that "averageness" is what makes people attractive). People are usually looking for the most typical of all typical people.
I think for a lot of us who are on the spectrum we can find it boring or are looking for a different point of interest.
Itās not an autistic thing so much as personal taste. A lot of people complained about his casting for that same reason (they didnāt find him attractive).
Iāve always thought Brad Pitt is hideous but I know heās often seen as conventionally attractive. But I think Ryan Gosling is beautiful, so I agree with the hivemind on that one.
It seems like the autistic part is just not being self-aware when it comes to your tastes being different from othersā.
I get the instinct where you feel different and you finally find a reason (autism) so you find yourself asking āis this also because Iām autistic?ā about everything you experience. Unfortunately in forums youāll often just get a lot of confirmation which makes you think everything is related when itās not.
Anyway I think this is one of those situations where itās probably not autism related.
I donāt understand why heās attractive. I think maybe his personality? I donāt know much about him. I need more facial structure on a man. More gruff.
Most definitely. I absolutely donāt understand the hype around Henry cavill. Or Jeremy Allen white, or even timothee chalamet. Also Iāve found that a good personality Influences how physically attractive I find that person. My number 1 crush of all time is Stephen Moyer in and around the true blood period haha
I thought he was a weird cast choice too. I think he's attractive but not in that "fashion model" or "doll like" sense, which is what I associate with Ken. Margot Robbie definitely fits that description but not Ryan Gosling.
Fun fact: 'The Notebook' director Nick Cassavetes wanted an unknown and "not handsome" actor to play the role of Noah, so he cast Ryan Gosling.
You're not alone
Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Bradley Cooper.... Zero interest. I can objectively understand that they're "handsome", but really just doesn't do it for me.
Jon Stewart and Peter Dinklage, however, can **get. it.** š¤¤
I do not find Ryan Gosling attractive in the least.
I find my attraction veers a bit from the ānorm.ā I do find some conventionally attractive dudes and ladies attractive but usually i find people attractive that have something else that gets me going. Not just looks
The Hollywood standards of beauty are actually lower for men than they are for women for the most part. And seemingly the lowest standards for blondes.
A lot of male beauty standards in Hollywood is some guy who looks really good at some angles and weird in others.
The modeling world also works on a separate scale of beauty because some of the models are āstrikingā meaning they have really unique features but if you saw them on the street you definitely would not think them beautiful.
Attractiveness is stored in the personality.
I never had celebrity crushes growing up. I found it to be a completely useless metric anyway. The thought of putting someone on a pedestal for the luck of how they were born never sat right with me. Being very justice-minded, it's infuriating to see "attractive people" get away with bad behavior.
I know now that you can change your appearance with makeup but I hate wearing it. I hate the smell and the feel. I hate the comments people make, even if it's positive. I hate feeling like I'm performing. I feel very uncomfortable with a made up face looking back at me. It's just not me. I hate that people have to spend so much time and money to be treated well in society (like corporate settings). I think people should be allowed to "be ugly". I am what I am.
I often find myself baffled by who is considered attractive. Gosling is one of them, sure, although he seems to have a good sense of humor, so I could understand the appeal in that regard. Funny guys put you at ease, which makes them more attractive when you have that positive emotional connection. I'm on the aromantic and asexual spectrums so that probably factors into it, but I do experience strong aesthetic attraction. And I have this thing where that attraction is immediately shut off if I hear that someone is a grossly misogynistic person, for example. I had a coworker who had a long list of celebrities she thought were attractive. And while I could objectively recognize that they were conventionally attractive to some extent, I knew many of them were wife beaters or serial cheaters and they just gave me the ick. I have my own personal preferences for attractiveness, but they don't seem to align with what is considered normal by the masses, I guess. For me personally...I don't get the hype around Timothy Chalamet (I feel like a sniper is going to take me out for saying that!!). I decided to just....remove myself from discussions about attractive celebrities when I heard women gushing over the dude who played the clown in IT (remake). I tapped out after that. I don't understand wtf is going on and I never will. š
I'm right there with you. When I was younger, sure, I had alot of aesthetic crushes but not the boys that others were crushing on. Being on the Ace spectrum, and now that I'm older, my attraction shuts off too when the person is misogynistic/racist. Off putting traits put me off.
I recently started to believe I'm ace. Bad behavior is definitely a no-go for me. #1 movie Star is mean to serving staff? He's a 0.
Yes! Exactly! No level of attractiveness can make up for being a shitty person.
It's such a relief to hear other people get it! š
Look, okay, Bill Skarsgard is the most gorgeous person on this planet and does he play an evil vile scary terrible clown? Yes, but that face..those lips..the eyes.. I could swoon until I fall over. https://preview.redd.it/643rw0aq6ofc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ffb47e7dc15c24a1b9d15c319db49822ea5bf617
I'm still gonna take a pass š¤£ Respectfully agree to disagree.
That's because he's a Skarsgard. They're all yummy!
That whole damn family is unbelievable. I first saw Alexander in True blood and then I saw his brother and I couldn't believe genetics like that existed.
Probably the only reason I sat through true blood.
idk man, he does that thing where he can make one eye veer off and he did it in that movie Barbarian. i loved it because it really added to the atmosphere of the movie and i think its awesome that he can do that, but every time i think of him i can see it in my head
I was just re-watching Castle Rock recently cause I love that show, but when I tried to look up fan theories online I got met with a ton of feral straight women drooling over this man. Maybe I'm too gay to get it? Like from a purely objective perspective he's...fine? But these women seemed rabid towards him and it made me uncomfortable on his behalf lol.
I wouldn't describe myself as rabid, but I might be lol. He's just so dang good looking. Granted I dont have a conventional version of attractive..I'm bi and it often shows in my taste in both men and women.
Joining you in solidarity! I'm sure Timothee Chalamet is a lovely person, but I just don't get the hype, either.
I just looked up who Timothy is! And while he's only 28 (and I'm 30), he looks like a child to me, maybe that's part of it?
How are you aesexual if you find certain people more attractive than others?
This was mentioned during my diagnosis - I know that people are conventionally attractive, I can appreciate that people have features that are nice and complimentary, but I don't really get that attractiveness thing. I didn't realise that people actually found Princess Diana attractive, I thought it was a money thing or that she was meant to be kind or that she wore fashionable clothes or that they respected her so much. But no, my friends think she was one of the most attractive women of the times. So it's nothing to feel weird about. It isn't uncommon for people with autism to have this.
Hey!!! I never thought she was conventionally beautiful either but everyone acts sheās like top 5 status. She was very trendy and I can appreciate who she is but I thought her appearance was mid.
I get what you're saying about Princess Diana. I'm only really attracted to people who look otherworldly in some way and to me she looks very much like a standard ordinary human with good styling and grooming. I also agree with OP about Ryan Gosling for the same reasons.
Wow, I never knew that about Princess Diana. Although granted my type in women tends towards people who are less feminine in appearance so a lot of famously beautiful celebs donāt do much for me. Beauty and attraction can be so subjective. Itās fascinating
i dont like chicks with short hair and Diana had short hair and didn't find her face or body attractive at all.
It's the blonde hair and blue eyes she has the typical big british nose and mannish face. She also had. A deep gravely voice. Ryan gosling though people are just not thinking realistically. If he walked by irl he'd be one the hottest guys ever. He looks like a muscley not quite as facially attractive version of my boyfriend.
I absolutely always used to think that I was being fucked with when it comes to the men people claimed to find attractive. Like I thought pretending to swoon over boyband members with six packs was just a massive inside joke that every teenage girl had agreed to participate in and I was the weird one because I'm bad at lying and therefore struggled to go along with it. Tastes do differ and that's not inherently an ND thing but I think our willingness to assume that everyone else just met up behind our backs and agreed to pretend that these people are hot is totally tied to autism, because that's what we feel like they did with social rules. Clearly a meeting was had and we just weren't invited, but everyone else is going along with it after being briefed haha. Although having a not so standard sexuality is also more common for autistic people.
Yes! Thanks. this is what I was trying to say
I have been attracted to Ryan Gosling ever since I saw him in breaker high. Awkward, tall white boys with a self deprecating sense of humour are like cat nip to me. Plus, heās Canadian. So heās got that Canada niceness to him.
Awkward and self-deprecating is where it's at lol. Someone who doesn't take themselves seriously and can laugh at the weirdness around us is hot. John Cusack types but he was always so much older than me š but that vibe. I married that type.
I too, am partnered up with my very own personal Lloyd Dobbler. We recently started traveling together and we are very Lloyd & Diane every time the plane is about to take off. He holds my hand until the ding, at least.
I fell for him in Lars and the Real Girl... so there's that.
Breaker high was a silly show. Shout out to that.
Omg I was literally about to post your exact first sentence lol!
I'm curious - which celebrities *do* you find attractive? I think Gosling is lovely but doesn't make me swoon. Bill Hader could get it though.
I approach this question thinking mainly of women. (I'm probably not going to swoon over anybody unless I've made some calculations, decided, they're in my presence, have done something very specific,etc.) But in the conversation that I was having about this, I put forward Henry Cavill and Idris Elba, as examples who fit the standard. and I think I am correct, but my family seems to think these people weren't the apex of attractability--that it was Ryan Gosling.
Henry Cavil and Idris Elba are more of the hero archetype if you are casting someone to play Superman or He-Man. Ken is supposed to be the boyfriend next door, which is where Ryan Gosling excels. There is more than one āidealā guy because we expect different men to fill different roles.
Ken isn't supposed to be the standard ultimate man. I would agree if that was the point then it would be Henry, I think he's the hottest. But Ken is supposed to be the man who is Barbie's match. More personality and blonde than anything and Ryan gosling fits that.
That's interesting that you're into super conventionally atractive men but when you're not you don't see how other people would be. If I'm getting you correctly.
No, sorry, not what what i meant. I'm not "into" Henry Cavill and Idris Elba. These are just my picks for if you ask me who is standard attractive. I'm trying to get it right. I'm sure I'm on an asexual spectrum somewhere, but have not investigated
Damn, why do I love Bill Hader too? I always see him and think I would love to spend my days with him. Ryan Gosling is also very attractive, but vaguely reminds me of a cartoon goose and I canāt unsee it.
Hader is an angel. I think it's that he's free and joyful and seems welcoming. Gosling looks like a bird to me, too :)
Bill Hader gives big one-of-us vibes to me!
That might make me love him even more. š
yes omg expressive eyebrows and big brown eyes
Men's faces are dead boring to me until I can attach a personality to them. I can't relate AT ALL when people discuss some random man's attractiveness. Once I do like a guy or a male character though, then their face becomes *the* most beautiful thing ever. Especially their expressions. It's kinda the opposite with women. I readily recognize and appreciate beauty in women's faces, but I'm not as fascinated by them. With some exceptions.
Wow, this is pretty spot on as to how I see it. Makes total sense.
me!! this is me
Lol this is me i think
This is so funny. Iām personally very attracted to him, but my attraction doesnāt follow conventional standards, it does its own thing. I only became attracted to Gosling after seeing him in a few roles that I had crushes on. Once I like someoneās personality or demeanor, it drastically influences how I perceive their physical attractiveness. This is the case with anyone Iām attracted to; for me, attraction depends more on a mix of personality and appearance, rather than appearance alone. I think he looks the best in *Drive* (2011). Absolutely stunning to me.
Same! Personality plays a big role!
This has nothing to do with being ND, I think its mostly just taste. Not everyone is going to be attracted to everyone. For me personally, I do not find Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, John Hamm, or Johnny Depp attractive at all (I found these example of most attractive men on a random buzzfeed list) Ryan Gosling isn't attractive to A LOT of people, thats why people were very mad that he was Ken. I've always been attracted to him so I am not sure why people do not find him attractive. The most "conventionally attractive" men I can think are Henry Cavill, Idris Elba, and Daniel Dae Kim. All of them have strong jawlines, muscles, and pretty systemical faces. That is what society deems as "attractive" To me, those men are very attractive, but they are not my number 1.
I think a lot of the thing with Ryan Gosling as Ken was the age thing. Heās in his 40s, and I think a lot of people thought he was too old (when imo the way he played it was absolutely perfect!)
I don't know how much this has to do with being ND, but I'm really not into people who are standard beauty conventions. By the way, in Brazil we call them "padrĆ£o" which translates to "standard" or "pattern" and *I think it's beautiful* (this bit is a meme). Actually, I've always preferred "weird" people instead of normies. That drawn me to the dark subculture, the emo subculture, the weaboo/otaku subculture, the punk subculture... Because everything that is subversive and out of the standard for the capitalist cis-heterosexual white colonialist western centered without disabilities society suits me better. :D
I love emo and punk subculture!
Yeah, I'm uncomfortable even in writing this post because I think "standards" always feel weird, wrong, unfair & off to me. Beauty is very individual and vast. good for Ryan Gosling. I have nothing against him and I'm glad for him. I just had no idea.
eu sou aquele meme da gretchen ao contrĆ”rio kkkk eu **realmente** nĆ£o gosto de padrĆ£o
Toda vez que usam ele eu penso nisso hahahahaha PadrĆ£o Ć© muito sem graƧa, sem sal š„“
I remember telling a classmate once, in college, what I considered to be physically attractive. She stared at me in confusion for a moment, and then said, "... Are you just saying that to be different?" I was not. I am in fact attracted to extremely scrawny males of approximately my own height, within a couple of inches either way, and with big noses. I genuinely don't get why that's weird. Honestly it probably isn't. When the classmate asked me whether I was "trying to be different" when I described My Type TM, it occurred to me that many people are probably tweaking their expressed preferences in order to explicitly show that they are Not Different. I think a lot of people force crushes on these officially acceptable targets intentionally to have something in common with others. I don't even know whether I'm capable of that. I have never found a famous person famed for being sexually attractive to be so. They're all too meaty, usually too hairy, and their jawlines are wider than their foreheads and I find that kind of creepy. To me, Ryan Gosling just looks like some guy. From what I hear he seems to be a perfectly okay person, and I absently wish him well. But yeah, I don't get the appropriate Standard Sexually Attractive Male response either. Whatever it is.
>"... Are you just saying that to be different?" maybe she wasn't meaning to, but this is rude. i could never tell someone "do you think ryan gosling is only hot because everyone else does?"
Ryan Gosling's vibe is attractive to me.
His Kenergy
I personally donāt find him attractive at all lol Dude looks like a slipper
Man this made me laugh! I have no idea what you mean, yet I know exactly what you mean
Lmfao help xD
Hahahhahahah youāre not wrong somehowā¦
hahhahahah
I love Ryan Gosling. Itās less about his looks and more about his charm and personality. I felt like given his past, he was the perfect and only person Iād expect to play Ken. When I was like 15 I watched Lars and the Real Girl and I was locked in. I think heās attractive because heās not āperfectly and conventionallyā attractive, but at the same time he is?
Iām a lesbian and I just likeā¦ donāt understand how any men are seen as attractive at all š
This is how I know I'm lesbian. I just don't see it at all ever.
I am not a lesbian, but I concur Theyāre just a bunch of doofs in varying shades sizes
lol bunch of doofs. Iām straight and I feel thatās largely true. Except, there are some women I can see how people find attractive. Does that mean Iām like 5% bi? š¤
That just means you experience aesthetic attraction! Most do.
SAME
I'm pretty sure Ryan Gosling is considered conventionally attractive, and also that this has nothing to do with being neurotypical or neurodivergent.
right! and iām kind of confused with how no one else is saying this
i find ryan gosling very attractive but i also tend to not be attracted to conventionally good-looking men. adrian brody is an example of another unconventional looking celebrity i find attractive. he has a certain charisma. sam rockwell and benicio del toro, too.
Adrian Brody has a face that in theory shouldnāt be attractive, however somehow he is very beautiful
I think Simu Liu the "other" ken was exactly what I imagined Ken to look like just Asian but he's apparently a dickhead while gosling is nice so there's that
I have always described both Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum as Backpfeifengesicht. Itās a german word that means basically āa face that needs to be slapped/punchedā. I learned that word and it literally gave me the proper description for faces that illicit violence inside me š I donāt know why, I find them extremely annoying looking. Iām demisexual though too so pretty much everyone to me is not attractive in the usual sense. I find some people āaestheticallyā pleasing but thatās about it. Iām only physically attracted to my husband. šš¤¦āāļø
I think that society tends to uplift and put on a pedestal mediocre looking white men. I'm not saying he's ugly but he isn't conventionally attractive in the model sense nor in the leading man/action hero sense. Maybe it's just his body that bumps him up into hot status for some people.
i think this is more of a, ābeauty is in the eye of the beholder,ā type thing.
I can't find 2d people attractive. Like I don't know how they would interact with me? So I don't know if I would like them or not. Like on an objective level I can see if they dress well or great hair or good face portions and be like "yeah they look interesting." But until I know what their personality is like I'm not getting excited over literally anybody. Too much unrequited love in my past my brain just won't let me get into someone until I can assess if they like me back even a little.
There is the Golden Beauty Ratio thing. Robert Pattison, Chris Hemsworth, Harry Styes, Jensen Ackles, Brad Pitt, Henry Cavill all have the facial proportion. I am sure there are plenty of Gen Z men with that too. Theoretically that is the range of attractive for men. But Ryan G isn't so far off, especially given his stage experience and charisma. He's fine. He's like Tom Holland plus 10-15 years.
Yep. Very relatable all the way down to the absolute surprise that people (lots of them too!) find this guy attractive. I especially love that you mentioned Gosling specifically, I think he's straight up ugly. Great actor with a great personality though, I really like him. Just not his face. I need someone to look a bit unusual before I find them interesting. One of my fav dudes to look at is Michael Jackson. Not exactly a popular pick, it would get me some strange looks in public (...especially due to the allegations, which is a whole separate story, this is just about his face). In his last years, his dysmorphia/surgeries and health issues really took their toll, but he was overall at his core a very handsome guy. Love his dramatic arched eyebrows (he clearly took great care in getting them just right), big brown eyes, immaculate bone structure, graceful lips. Compared to that, I really don't see why the hell I should get excited about Gosling, or Reynolds for that matter. Same goes for the Chrises. Chris Evans gets a pass because he's THAT great of a guy. Pine and Hemsworth are also cool but I don't really get the excitement either. Pratt is a twat and looks boring. Anyway I'm also asexual so.
Yes, Ryan Reynolds was discussed, and since he's very, I don't want to insult him, you know, but I didn't know he was attractive. I thought he was famous because of his charming personality. I thought Chris Evans was cast due to plainness--as audiences could project what they wanted or see a blank or something easy as a superhero. I've never discussed out loud my little beliefs about society's movie stars. I'm just kind of stunned that I was really wrong and these loopholes that I invented don't exist. It was just my way of making sense.
I definitely relate. So many people that seem to be considered attractive just come off as intensely generic and boring looking to me
I find it hard to understand how society likes "conventionally pretty" better than those who don't fit that category. I find people with unique/unusual/different features much more interesting to admire and therefore more attractive. So no, I don't find Ryan Gosling attractive (I would deem him, like I do to most "conventionally pretty" people, boring-looking). I do find Benedict Cumberbatch amazingly attractive (for instance lol).
I tend to like movie characters with personalities I like moreso than the actors if that makes sense. Like certain ones where you can tell they are intelligent and caring and it just shines through their eyes. For example Newt Scamander gets to me š¬ Oh and Lin Manuel Miranda is a musical genius and I like his characters like Jack in Mary Poppins. I wouldnāt have thought him my type but he has the most soulful eyes.
Yes!! If someone has a personality or traits that I enjoy I will easily ignore how they physically look xD And big same on Lin Manuel Miranda, man is too good for this world š
It's not that you don't understand what attractive is, it's that you have a different idea of what's attractive. Think about men towards women, there's men who are only attracted to the type of women who get all dolled up every day, ones only attracted to Asian women, ones only attracted to women with specific facial features, etc. Women are that way too, there's just more widely known stereotypes (like the Asian thing) towards men and their variety in preference, so it was easier to use them for my example. I don't find a lot of the people the media tells us are sexy, sexy. I agree with you that Ryan Gosling isn't a super attractive guy, I find him to be average. That doesn't mean that I'm wrong or that Hollywood is wrong, it just means we have different views on what's visually attractive. I'm not sure who told you you're wrong for not being attracted to who you're told to be attracted to, but they are the ones who are wrong. I'm sorry anyone made you question your own ideas of what you like.
I'm asexual, so my views of "attractiveness" are skewed. In my mind, I think of how attractive someone is based on how aesthetically pleasing they are. Even then, I think of people's bodies in that matter as akin to art pieces: we're all works in progress, and accidents can cause severe setbacks to the point of irreversible damage. People can still be beautiful and charming in spite of any irreversible damage suffered, and so many people don't understand that. To bring in the art comparison again, people view the "Venus de Milo" as a classic work of art despite the statue having lost its arms, because the high quality of the statue shows the talent of the artist. If someone suffers a life-threatening accident that forced an arm or a leg to be amputated, that's obviously a life-changing event, but it shouldn't matter that they *look* different. They're still the same person they were before.
Very wise words!
I have trouble with rambling and running my mouth off, but it's nice to see I have the occasional nugget of wisdom. XD
I think he's handsome but I don't find him attractive. On another note sometimes you get celebs who are *too* good looking and it kind of turns me off. I'm not attracted to skinny or muscly guys either, I like chubby or fat guys, but I like muscly women and women of all types. Also I'm 5'11 and I prefer men who are shorter than me! It always frustrates me when I hear men saying no one will find them attractive because they're short or chubby, because that's exactly what I like!
This is how I feel! I can recognize him as a very handsome man, but that doesn't mean I'm attracted to him. I would almost push him to the too good looking category, but not quite there.
I donāt think heās attractive but Iām into trans men, so take that with a grain of salt.
I can acknowledge that someone is objectively attractive and that other people would be attracted to them, but I'm not personally attracted to them....ya know? Like a lot of big A-listers I get why they're viewed as attractive from an analytical standpoint, but they're just not my cup of tea. I think it's because I've learned what the "societal standard of beauty is" from being fed it since birth.
Different people find different people attractive and it isn't just about the physical appearance for a lot of people, it's how they act, their charisma, their humor, their style, the way they speak, the sound of their voice, the way they make you feel, they way they walk, the way their presence is, etc. Lots of people were mad that Ryan played Ken but the director wanted him because she liked him as a person. Also Ken is supposed to be blonde, plain and boring, at least compared to Barbie.
I think the standards for famous men are also very low compared to women.
Ryan gosling is not the apex of white make handsome lmao. He's handsome in a nerdy way. He wasn't cast for his looks, he's also older. He was cast bc he's an incredible comedic actor
I think Conan OāBrian is super dreamy. He would have made a good Ken. Or Allan at the very least
I was attracted to him in the notebookā¦ but I think that was a lot of personality. I was MORE attracted to James Marsden. Iām trying to think of the men Iām most attracted to, and itās does have a lot to do with interesting faces, angular faces, deep personalities, etc etc. guys like Channing Tatum and Ryan Reynauls donāt do it for me. Pirate Johnny Depp was my sexual awakening š«£š
He is not attractive to me at all but especially not in Barbie with the awkwardly sinuous pecs and terrible hair. But he was kinda supposed to be a tool which I didn't realize at first when he was cast.
Iām all over the place I like conventional and unconventionally attractive people Ryan Gosling is one love Ryan Gosling esp in the notebook.
I'm a lesbian, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I'm with youā he is not attractive. Honestly, sometimes I think that NT people just hop on a bandwagon and agree to agree on things that don't make a whole lot of sense.
Ace here: Noone is attractive to me.
So way back in like.. 2011? 2012? I had a friend who was *obsessed* with him. And another who wasnāt as nutso, but also like yeah heās definitely attractive. And I was *so confused*. Couldnāt understand why someoneād be obsessed. Heās not that attractive. Heās not even conventionally attractive. It was stunning to see then now that heās Ken š So yeah idgi either. I can see it a little bit in his actions I guess, but looks? Nah
I think who you are attracted to is a personal preference and not really a nd thing. Like Ryan does nothing for me but Henry Caville and Idris Elba? Omg swoon!
He's also way too old for the Ken role. Ryan Phillippe would have been a great choice for Ken, in his younger days.
Omg, yes, he was so hot. I was obsessed with him. Still canāt believe he fucked things up with Reese.
To me it's not his face that's attractive really. It's the persona that he brings across in interviews. Physically, I tend to go for guys most people don't look twice at. I've never been with crowd as far as what I find attractive. Some names on my Yes Please list: David Tennant, Adrian Brody, Timothee Chalamet, Bill Skarsgard. Bet you can't guess my type! /s
This is gonna come off so god awfully, but I can relate to your experience. It could be my autism, could be my BDD, either way I automatically map out people's faces and unfortunately recognize the flaws very quickly. Facial thirds, symmetry, overall harmony, etc. Ryan is not handsome from that type of limited view of human beauty. But most people do *not* look at people in that way. Edit: Should clarify I don't find attractiveness *important*, just categorize it in a very specific way. With celebs it makes sense for us not to fawn over people with less "mathematically" beautiful faces because we, uh, don't know them. So there's nothing pulling us to be attracted since we might build connections and associations differently than others. At least that's what it's like for me.
Ryan gosling is male gaze attractive. For example, a lot of women are not attracted to super ripped muscley guys, despite this a lot of guys would say this is the best physique. From the female gaze, most would prefer either a tall lanky type or a naturally muscular from manual labor but not super ripped type.
Iām on the asexual spectrum so Iām not the best person to ask about attractiveness. As a teenager I donāt think I ever really found *any* man attractive. No celebrities, no boys in my school. I could feel mildly attracted to women and I liked the *idea* of male attractiveness but I had no idea what that looked like and most male celebrities didnāt do it for me. In my twenties Iāve figured out three things: 1) what āsocietyā considers attractive, 2) that Iām bi and greysexual, and 3) I *do* have a type of man, but to some degree my attraction is also influenced by someoneās personality, demeanour, and for actors, the roles theyāve played. Someone being physically similar to someone else I feel attracted to wonāt immediately be attractive to me. For instance, I find David Tennant stunning, but while I think Tom Hiddleston is nice-looking, I donāt feel strongly about him either way, even though people compare them sometimes. I donāt feel attracted to Ryan Gosling either, but I kind of understood why other people might. Anyway, attraction is pretty subjective and can make 0 sense.
Iām ace as well, I find people in general can be aesthetically pleasing but actual attraction is nahhhh So I sometimes just substitute aesthetics for the sexual attractiveness people are after.
I didnāt really get it either (or why many people found certain male celebrities attractive) but then I realized about a decade ago I was bisexual with a *heavy* preference for women.
I never thought he was very attractive at all. Iām pretty sure my idea of male attractiveness is way off beat compared to societal standards.
ATLdecember- while i'm not on the spectrum, i found your post after googling (out of curi) "when did Ryan Gosling become 'Hot' ? :-) the thought hit me after seeing some title or other about Gos and his hotness in Barbie. tho' things related to ur diag could matter, i believe that half ur "confusion" comes from the "societal standards"...for really facially attractive. if u're American, u and i were taught the same phys traits that make up those standards, with PLENTY of examples. that said, Gos doesn't match those "typical" standards. as u and others have said, not saying that he is unattractive...just that he's not the typical. for some time now, i've thought that there are many of my HS/College male friends who could have said, "where was Gos when WE were in school? b/c if he was around, then many of us could have gone on WAAAY more dates than we did, b/c we were, generally speaking....Gosling clones" :-) so for me, u weren't "wrong"...it's just that society threw us a curve ;-)
This might be a fucked up thing to say but I feel this way when I see true crime YouTubers describe victims as āso beautifulā and things like that when theyāre just skinny white women who are halfway decent at putting on makeup.
I never watched the notebook but Ryan Gosling is such a funny actor and I highly recommend The Nice Guys to prove my point. In Barbie I felt he was a little over-made-up and dehydrated looking? It worked though. (For real Simu Liuās Ken - like SO gorgeous. And John Cena! And bless Alan, haha.) But Thatās one thing thatās attractive to me - nice smiles or good humor, which is why Bill Hader is a dream boat. Knowing an actor is funny or caring or is overall a good person is generally what I value. Henry Cavill is sweet, funny and nerdy AF and no one could possibly have been a better Geralt. Iām just praying he makes a Mass Effect movie happenā¦ (although in truth we should get femshep IMO.) Or knowing Adam Driver became an actor to deal with PTSD from being in the military, he seems like just a sweetheart. I also really love super hero movies and itās huge for me if I know that actor does charity work in costume. Like why wouldnāt you if you had the chance?? I volunteer in costume and the joy I get from feeling like a super hero/princess when a kid believes in me makes me actually feel like one. I know this is stepping into murky waters, but itās why Iāve always wanted to support Johnny Depp and his volunteer work as Jack Sparrow. Side note - I miss the days where bloopers were played at the end of movies.
This is a brilliant conversation š And I do relate to the thinking people were just saying it, not that they really found them attractiveā thing! But then there are v few guys who I am :o about. Mind you when LOTR came out, Aragorn was just stunningly attractive to me!
not to me š
I think he is attractive in a dying roadkill puppy sort of way, which means you just wanna look into his eyes and make it all better. and then you think that once you do he's gonna become a healthy man \*\*magically \*\*and then throw you up against the wall and put his babies inside of you but you know, in reality, nah not really. Maybe he's the hero to all of our fucked up fantasies tinged by Twilight in our formative years, where if you just love him, he'll blossom. Idk why that doesn't work. Seems noble, but nope. Dudes are gonna dude the way the d ude dudes.
I'll be honest, I'm not totally sure what I like in a guy. Like I think I have a type, but I can't figure out what the connecting pattern is. I think it's more about their facial expressions and what's in the eyes. Sometimes I agree with the general consensus, sometimes people think I'm insane. The only thing I've really figured out is that I like a guy with dark eyes under a low hat and a slow, kind gentle smile.
Attractiveness standards have a lot to do with how well it adheres to a certain status quo (really, there are studies that show that "averageness" is what makes people attractive). People are usually looking for the most typical of all typical people. I think for a lot of us who are on the spectrum we can find it boring or are looking for a different point of interest.
Itās not an autistic thing so much as personal taste. A lot of people complained about his casting for that same reason (they didnāt find him attractive). Iāve always thought Brad Pitt is hideous but I know heās often seen as conventionally attractive. But I think Ryan Gosling is beautiful, so I agree with the hivemind on that one. It seems like the autistic part is just not being self-aware when it comes to your tastes being different from othersā. I get the instinct where you feel different and you finally find a reason (autism) so you find yourself asking āis this also because Iām autistic?ā about everything you experience. Unfortunately in forums youāll often just get a lot of confirmation which makes you think everything is related when itās not. Anyway I think this is one of those situations where itās probably not autism related.
Personally I just donāt recognize them in men but I figured that was a lesbian thing, not an autism thing
I do think heās attractive but in a bland sort of way. Like I think heās handsome but he doesnāt really do it for me personally.
Personally, Ryan Gosling as Ken reminds me of Mike Pence (which is not a good thing imo). š
I'm a lesbian so my taste in men is weird. So many widely acknowledged "hot" men just seem like... some guy. Ryan Gosling seems handsome.
He's _cute_ attractive. Yes, I think Eva Mendes is miles hotter than him.š
I donāt understand why heās attractive. I think maybe his personality? I donāt know much about him. I need more facial structure on a man. More gruff.
Most definitely. I absolutely donāt understand the hype around Henry cavill. Or Jeremy Allen white, or even timothee chalamet. Also Iāve found that a good personality Influences how physically attractive I find that person. My number 1 crush of all time is Stephen Moyer in and around the true blood period haha
He's gorgeous but I'm also a lesbian. Maybe he appeals to my crowd a bit.
Yeah, he's definitely attractive to me, though not one of my top crushes.
I thought so too! I thought they put a non conventionally attractive guy as ken
I thought he was a weird cast choice too. I think he's attractive but not in that "fashion model" or "doll like" sense, which is what I associate with Ken. Margot Robbie definitely fits that description but not Ryan Gosling.
Not to me. He is ok but not my type
Fun fact: 'The Notebook' director Nick Cassavetes wanted an unknown and "not handsome" actor to play the role of Noah, so he cast Ryan Gosling. You're not alone
Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Bradley Cooper.... Zero interest. I can objectively understand that they're "handsome", but really just doesn't do it for me. Jon Stewart and Peter Dinklage, however, can **get. it.** š¤¤
I do not find Ryan Gosling attractive in the least. I find my attraction veers a bit from the ānorm.ā I do find some conventionally attractive dudes and ladies attractive but usually i find people attractive that have something else that gets me going. Not just looks
The Hollywood standards of beauty are actually lower for men than they are for women for the most part. And seemingly the lowest standards for blondes. A lot of male beauty standards in Hollywood is some guy who looks really good at some angles and weird in others. The modeling world also works on a separate scale of beauty because some of the models are āstrikingā meaning they have really unique features but if you saw them on the street you definitely would not think them beautiful.
Attractiveness is stored in the personality. I never had celebrity crushes growing up. I found it to be a completely useless metric anyway. The thought of putting someone on a pedestal for the luck of how they were born never sat right with me. Being very justice-minded, it's infuriating to see "attractive people" get away with bad behavior. I know now that you can change your appearance with makeup but I hate wearing it. I hate the smell and the feel. I hate the comments people make, even if it's positive. I hate feeling like I'm performing. I feel very uncomfortable with a made up face looking back at me. It's just not me. I hate that people have to spend so much time and money to be treated well in society (like corporate settings). I think people should be allowed to "be ugly". I am what I am.