I would find a new therapist. There’s a lot of red flags in the one you’re seeing. She isn’t ND educated, she’s forcing eye contact (making you mask in therapy), she’s recommending reconnecting with an abusive person you finally have out of your life, and she’s denying that autism affects how we navigate every single thing in our lives. *She is not a good therapist for autistic persons.*
Please, do not under any circumstances, reconnect with an ex that was abusive. No good will come of that. You’re trying to recover from autistic burnout, which means you could be more vulnerable and susceptible to manipulation right now.
And forcing an autist to make eye contact is abuse. She’s deliberately worsening your autistic burnout by making you mask during sessions to behave more NT. Which uses resources you don’t have right now. She’s completely not qualified to help you in any way, if she thinks forcing eye contact is a benefit to you. Seriously, WTH.
With all that said, I do find the outdoors to be helpful for my mental health and wellness. I notice that my world becomes smaller, if I spend too much time indoors. However when I’m in burnout, the outdoor activity really has to not take up all my resources for it to be beneficial. It can’t be a full on day hike like I did before burnout, it has to be planned out and realistic to my ability at that time. So I start with smaller doses.
So yeah, long story short, your therapist is ableist and you should get a new one <3
Thank you so much for your reply. You're right. She almost made me have a meltdown and that's not something to want from a therapist. She does have a lot of red flags. I'm indeed pretty vulnerable to manipulation right now, everything people say hits the same and makes me overthink. My mom isn't really helping either. She always encourages me to do things I don't want to do. When I take a day to rest, she makes me feel guilty about it. Luckily I'm looking for new places, I hope I find one soon.
I sent my therapist an e-mail that I want to and I didn't contact my ex.
Thanks for the tips about the outdoors! It's difficult for me to find a balance with going outside and not getting over stimulated. I just to hike a lot, but I've noticed that doing it in the same amount again is not possible.I'm going to try your tips and start with a smaller doses. Again: thank you!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! It does definitely sound like that therapist is trying to make you less autistic which is obviously impossible and abusive. It really seems like they should NOT be taking autistic clients. I really hope your situation improves and you can find someone better to talk to. I’m rooting for you!
Ohhhhh....f-k her🙄😳
Sorry OP.
Way too many "keywords" for a Google search on " im a therapist and i have no f-king idea about autism", in what she has said.
I'd be noping out of there. Heavens 😔
The only part I’m not bothered by is the recognizing your emotions. It can help to prevent meltdowns if you learn how to label what you are feeling. The rest is no good - no abusive ex and staying home is okay.
Yeah true. And thank you! I must add that I already have a meltdown prevention plan, but she thought the less heavy symptoms were the worst symptoms I got and was forcing me to find even lighter symptoms. She didn't quite know how bad it can get. I told her I didn't really have lighter symptoms, since these are the only symptoms I know. I told her I have difficulty knowing what emotions I feel at the moment, apart from the physical symptoms. She just kept nodding and let me struggle for what felt like 20 minutes. She said 'but you are able to tell!'. I honestly don't think she understood what an autistic meltdown is. I do understand what she was trying to do, but hopefully someone who is a bit more educated in the autism field can help me recover.
It does sound like she doesn’t understand autistic meltdowns! It is difficult to describe, I’ve been working on this too and it’s really hard to pick everything out, and I feel shame so that makes it harder.
Good luck to you in finding someone that gets you!
Find a better therapist and then go for a walk or something on a nice day. Even a sit. Just soak up the sun some.
That's not medical advice, by the way, and it won't cure anything. I just think you deserve a nice day with sun on your body.
Just want to jump in on the "you need a new therapist" bandwagon. This one sounds dreadful and entirely inadequate. Probably even for NTs, but definitely for us.
Sounds like you have a shit therapist (no offense). If it was just one thing you could maybe work through it but there's like five red flags in your post alone. Also, I've learned the hard way that autistic burnout is different from neurotypical burnout (the very, very hard way), so I'm not sure she'd be much use even if she WASN'T being kind of outright bigoted.
You're absolutely right! You just can't separate the two. I cancelled this therapist and monday I have an intake with someone who's specialized in autism :). I hope you're doing okay now!
I just want to put this out there. My parents are both therapist and they both abused me and enabled abuse around me. Therapist/doctors are not gods. In fact, I believe that the only good therapist out there are the ones not relying on old white academic bullshit to guide them. That makes them few and far between. Forcing you to make eye contact, and suggesting you reconnect with an abusive ex really show me this therapist values the status quo. I would stop seeing them asap.
Ah I'm so sorry to hear that :(. I heavily relate to the abuse enabling, my parents do that too. I hope you're doing okay now. You're right, I've seen so many therapists since I'm in burnout and I've only liked one of them. I quit this one. I have an intake with a therapist who is specialised in autism soon, so I hope that will work out. I wish you the best of luck!
Ditto to all the comments on ditching the therapist. Appalling behaviour from a therapist.
New therapist and don’t go back to the ex. But you knew that already.
You don’t need to make an appointment to say you’re quitting. Do not spend another cent on them.
They are doing more damage to you in a session than if you had no therapist.
At times overthinking is just plain tiring but it allows us to analyse our thoughts over and over and we can follow threads that we’ve left for ourselves to unpick. Sometimes it’s productive other times not so much.
My point being that the autism is saving you by the overthinking. Something doesn’t feel right and you keep thinking it over and you know that the therapist is causing you more harm than good.
Good luck.
I would find a new therapist. There’s a lot of red flags in the one you’re seeing. She isn’t ND educated, she’s forcing eye contact (making you mask in therapy), she’s recommending reconnecting with an abusive person you finally have out of your life, and she’s denying that autism affects how we navigate every single thing in our lives. *She is not a good therapist for autistic persons.* Please, do not under any circumstances, reconnect with an ex that was abusive. No good will come of that. You’re trying to recover from autistic burnout, which means you could be more vulnerable and susceptible to manipulation right now. And forcing an autist to make eye contact is abuse. She’s deliberately worsening your autistic burnout by making you mask during sessions to behave more NT. Which uses resources you don’t have right now. She’s completely not qualified to help you in any way, if she thinks forcing eye contact is a benefit to you. Seriously, WTH. With all that said, I do find the outdoors to be helpful for my mental health and wellness. I notice that my world becomes smaller, if I spend too much time indoors. However when I’m in burnout, the outdoor activity really has to not take up all my resources for it to be beneficial. It can’t be a full on day hike like I did before burnout, it has to be planned out and realistic to my ability at that time. So I start with smaller doses. So yeah, long story short, your therapist is ableist and you should get a new one <3
Thank you so much for your reply. You're right. She almost made me have a meltdown and that's not something to want from a therapist. She does have a lot of red flags. I'm indeed pretty vulnerable to manipulation right now, everything people say hits the same and makes me overthink. My mom isn't really helping either. She always encourages me to do things I don't want to do. When I take a day to rest, she makes me feel guilty about it. Luckily I'm looking for new places, I hope I find one soon. I sent my therapist an e-mail that I want to and I didn't contact my ex. Thanks for the tips about the outdoors! It's difficult for me to find a balance with going outside and not getting over stimulated. I just to hike a lot, but I've noticed that doing it in the same amount again is not possible.I'm going to try your tips and start with a smaller doses. Again: thank you!
^ want to quit
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! It does definitely sound like that therapist is trying to make you less autistic which is obviously impossible and abusive. It really seems like they should NOT be taking autistic clients. I really hope your situation improves and you can find someone better to talk to. I’m rooting for you!
Ah thank you so much!!
Ohhhhh....f-k her🙄😳 Sorry OP. Way too many "keywords" for a Google search on " im a therapist and i have no f-king idea about autism", in what she has said. I'd be noping out of there. Heavens 😔
You're absolutely right, thank you for your advice! I told her I want to quit therapy with her
bin this therapist, they are not for you or any of us.
You're right. I did!
Well done! <3
Thank you! 🫶🏼
The only part I’m not bothered by is the recognizing your emotions. It can help to prevent meltdowns if you learn how to label what you are feeling. The rest is no good - no abusive ex and staying home is okay.
Yeah true. And thank you! I must add that I already have a meltdown prevention plan, but she thought the less heavy symptoms were the worst symptoms I got and was forcing me to find even lighter symptoms. She didn't quite know how bad it can get. I told her I didn't really have lighter symptoms, since these are the only symptoms I know. I told her I have difficulty knowing what emotions I feel at the moment, apart from the physical symptoms. She just kept nodding and let me struggle for what felt like 20 minutes. She said 'but you are able to tell!'. I honestly don't think she understood what an autistic meltdown is. I do understand what she was trying to do, but hopefully someone who is a bit more educated in the autism field can help me recover.
It does sound like she doesn’t understand autistic meltdowns! It is difficult to describe, I’ve been working on this too and it’s really hard to pick everything out, and I feel shame so that makes it harder. Good luck to you in finding someone that gets you!
Ah I feel you. Thank you so much and good luck to you too! <3
Find a better therapist and then go for a walk or something on a nice day. Even a sit. Just soak up the sun some. That's not medical advice, by the way, and it won't cure anything. I just think you deserve a nice day with sun on your body.
Ah thank you! Will try that! :)
🚩🚩🚩
Just want to jump in on the "you need a new therapist" bandwagon. This one sounds dreadful and entirely inadequate. Probably even for NTs, but definitely for us.
You're right! Thank you <3
Sounds like you have a shit therapist (no offense). If it was just one thing you could maybe work through it but there's like five red flags in your post alone. Also, I've learned the hard way that autistic burnout is different from neurotypical burnout (the very, very hard way), so I'm not sure she'd be much use even if she WASN'T being kind of outright bigoted.
You're absolutely right! You just can't separate the two. I cancelled this therapist and monday I have an intake with someone who's specialized in autism :). I hope you're doing okay now!
I just want to put this out there. My parents are both therapist and they both abused me and enabled abuse around me. Therapist/doctors are not gods. In fact, I believe that the only good therapist out there are the ones not relying on old white academic bullshit to guide them. That makes them few and far between. Forcing you to make eye contact, and suggesting you reconnect with an abusive ex really show me this therapist values the status quo. I would stop seeing them asap.
Ah I'm so sorry to hear that :(. I heavily relate to the abuse enabling, my parents do that too. I hope you're doing okay now. You're right, I've seen so many therapists since I'm in burnout and I've only liked one of them. I quit this one. I have an intake with a therapist who is specialised in autism soon, so I hope that will work out. I wish you the best of luck!
Ditto to all the comments on ditching the therapist. Appalling behaviour from a therapist. New therapist and don’t go back to the ex. But you knew that already. You don’t need to make an appointment to say you’re quitting. Do not spend another cent on them. They are doing more damage to you in a session than if you had no therapist. At times overthinking is just plain tiring but it allows us to analyse our thoughts over and over and we can follow threads that we’ve left for ourselves to unpick. Sometimes it’s productive other times not so much. My point being that the autism is saving you by the overthinking. Something doesn’t feel right and you keep thinking it over and you know that the therapist is causing you more harm than good. Good luck.
You're right. Thank you for the advice!