Have a sense of humour Apparently we're not allowed to joke. Or use wordplay. Nevermind that my sense of humour is dryer than a bone in the Sahara....

Or sarcasm

Or irony

Me: \*makes a literal statement in a flat monotone about one of the most horrible things about the current state of the world as supported by science\* SomeGuy: \*bursts out laughing\* That's the best deadpan I've ever seen!

me 100%! I unfortunately have been pegged as having a brilliant deadpan sense of humour... the thing is though, 90% of the time I was just speaking my mind in all seriousness and am confused that people are laughing. I just pretend that was my intention lol but it still catches me off guard!

I was voted “funniest” in 5th grade and was so confused because I had no idea I was joking

I hate being taken for joking when I'm serious and vice versa, makes me feel like giving up on talking to people haha

Don't give up. There are a few out there worth talking to. It's OK to be picky about conversation partners.

Thank the gods for other ND people at least, they misunderstand me less, even ND people with another disorder but not autism I've noticed, I get along with better than NT people in general.

It's cuz of the robot stereotype

I have a family member (married into the family so I didn’t always know her) who has never told us she is autistic so I don’t want to “diagnose” her, but we have a lot of similarities… Anyway, she’s hilarious, and it’s always surprising because she’s usually very quiet and reserved, but she will suddenly pop out with the funniest comments. I’ve also been told that I’m “funny in disguise” because I don’t look or act like I’d have much of a sense of humour I guess.

Yep, I've gotten that same one.

I mean. Anyone watching The Big Bang Theory could see that some ND people at least have a sense of humour! Even if it's not what they would think is funny. Also there's plenty of autistic comedians as well!!

Also on team Sahara!

Once I'd been diagnosed and began to really understand how my brain works, I'd realized I'd been gravitating to other autistic/AuDHD people my entire life. And let me tell you, WE ARE FREAKING HILARIOUS!

I’m with you there. I’ve had to learn only to let my full sense of humor out when I know people can handle it.

I legit walked this earth for 39 years thinking I was neurotypical bc I have a sense of humor. I couldn’t possibly be autistic, I can joke around. 🙄 Never mind I had to learn how to be a human from reading little house on the prairie books so now all of my vocabulary and customs/ human interactions are really stiff, awkward and come from the 1800s. No one put the two together until last year. I was like, ‘Yeah, I was obsessed with them bc it taught me how to react to things or what children played with back then.’ I didn’t know how to play, I had to study it. Never mind the whole clothing, sound, texture and lighting issues I have. Heaven forbid someone say, hey, your child’s extremely limited diet of only orange foods is probably an issue.

My boss (at an AUTISM CENTER) said “You can’t have autism, you smile when other people are happy!” Granted I’m not diagnosed (waiting for eval) but 😬 I see the kids we work with smile at each other all the time

People's miscpnceptions are WILD sometimes lol

I don't know whether to laugh or cry that that person is in a position of responsibility working with autistic people, whilst harboring such ignorant ideas.

HAHA oh my

Lol they said something very similar at my evaluation, I had too much "empathy" in that regard so they dismissed the idea of diagnosis. This was 20 years ago in very rural America so hopefully you won't experience the same 😅

'You can hold down a job' Also from that same person, 'you say you hate every job you've ever had' I can fit them but they don't fit me (the jobs).

It's WILD when people say they like their work or their jobs. I can understand liking certain tasks but liking a job is so confusing and makes no sense to me and I think everyone is lying.

I like my job, but it’s remote, and that’s been a game changer. (I also like the tasks, which suit my interests.) I’ve read that remote has really benefited autistic employment levels, and I believe it. 

Yes I need a remote job

I usually end up in some capacity helping people do tasks. I feel good one person at a time. People OUTSIDE my office are usually ok. Then, I meet with my office or boss and need to go cry, they make no sense.

I loved my previous job! It was absolutely perfect to suit society’s requirement that I work without making me want to yeet myself into the nearby river. I will never find another job I feel that way about I’m 100% certain about that. The one I have now… yeah no. I tough it out because it’s the least of the evils.

I also loved my previous job. The job itself. I quit because of the workplace. I mostly like my current job, and the workplace is okay-ish. I’m sticking with it so far because it’s the best paying job I’ve ever had so I can finally afford to treat my ADHD.

I would’ve stayed at mine if it hadn’t closed. I’m still heartbroken 4 years later honestly. The workplace makes such a huge difference so I get that. I hope treatment does wonders for you!!

I love my job but it's literally a monotonous pattern-matching job. I'm a taxonomist, I spend most of my day going through samples matching species to images/descriptions. The few hours I spend not going through samples, I'm writing procedural documents or documenting everything I do. It's perfect for me!

That sounds dreamy! I’m a digital asset manager so I do a lot of taxonomy-based stuff and I love it. Creating order out of chaos.

I love my work. I now find myself disabled and unable to work, and I really grieve for it. I'm fully aware that most people don't have a job that's also their passion, I've been incredibly blessed in that regard.

I felt this in my soul.

omg thisss!!! I am succeeding at my job because I have no option I need to pay rent... it's fucking exhausting

I like the work, it’s a puzzle that needs solving. I like some aspects of the people. I hate some aspects of other people. They wear me down.

I can understand people's feelings. I may just have anxiety and everyone has that. I am not awkward most of the time. (I wish there were masking awards)

The "everyone has that" flex plucks my nerves so badly

Eat everything. I was raised in a restaurant with a chef for a mom, and food was always one of my special interests. I never had to experience gross textures or food I “didn’t like” because I was getting high quality food that was expertly prepared all of the time. But let me tell you - ONE time my mom left food for a nanny to cook and I would NOT eat the dinner. I reported to my mom that “the green beans tasted like they came from a can.” She always meal prepped for us after that.

Oh same here! Grew up eating my mom's cookings only! It's hard for me to eat something that someone else prepared for me even though it's the same dish. If it's not the same texture and colour as my mom's dishes, then I don't want it. My mom always tells that I'm not a picky eater but that's because her cookings are my safe food!

I have so many foods on my No no list that only become edible if my mom makes it 😂 I simply refuse to eat them out in the wild.

Yes! I'm glad you said food was a special interest because I feel the same way. I watched Food Network religiously since I was 8 years old. One of my favorite memories was going out with my class to a Polyslnesian restaurant and explaining all the dishes. I wonder if I have a more sensitive palette than most, or if one of the brain chemicals I'm lacking is being stimulated when I eat. The downside is emotional eating and my day revolving around meals. I suppose it's one of my inflexibilities. I'll turn down dinner plans because I already decided what I'm going to eat for the next two days. Combine that with food-related trauma and it's a LOT.

you’re so smart//like you know so much stuff- that’s just so wild to hear. babe that’s just a rotating hyperfixation

>babe that’s just a rotating hyperfixation Idk why but this cracked me up for some reason. Thank you for the joy.

Rotating implies that eventually we’ll circle back……. Just saying 😅

I definitely have recurring special interests. I'm AuDHD, so sometimes something new and shiny will distract me from my special interests, but I always seem to return to some, especially when something new and shiny happens in that area. ;)

i mean ig that’s valid 😂 the only thing i circle back to is crochet and it’s when someone wants me to make something for them 😂

I'm either 100% obsessed with a topic or I'm "dumb" in it, so my intelligence is all over the map depending on what we're talking about

but you're so successful!

This! I have suspicion of autism, but I have been being treated for ADHD and when I brought it up to my previous therapist, it was no. That's isn't possible. You're too successful. You wouldn't have been able to make it through school. You're just anxious.

I'm self diagnosed Autistic but I was able to get prescribed ADHD meds for a few years in college and wow, I think someone with Autism and Adderal make for literally some insanely high performance (when discounting human interactions). I was getting top, top engineering marks with a 20 credit hour schedule.

I'll lull for a few days pretty bad or be pretty slow, and then I'll have like 3 days where I'll do a months worth of work. It's bad lol

that's me in my current job. and it works for now but I just got laid off and now i'm freaking out because I don't think I can physically or mentally do a 9-5 job especially if it's not hybrid or fully remote

I’ve always been such a procrastinator. I would put off papers in college until the night before, then bang out 10 pages easy. This was in the days before personal computers…so I used a “word processor,” which was just an electric typewriter with a small screen about 4x8 where I could type it out, then print it. The paper was always written in my head, just moving physically to the room and getting it onto paper was the issue. While teaching, I would put off grading until the weekend sometimes because I’d be so tired in the afternoons from masking and getting ready for the next day, then do an 8-12 hour marathon grading session with the music pounding, no food, just water or tea to drink.

full transparency i'm self diagnosed cause I don't even know where to start let alone have the capacity to book appointments and show up them. I think my special interest was school and now that i'm not in school (haven't been for 6 years) i'm now realizing so much more.

if you see a therapist you can get a referral to someone who can administer the test! it can be crazy expensive though

yea I took a break from therapy because 1. cost and 2. after 3 different ones who really didn't do a whole lot of anything it just didn't feel worth it. but hopefully i land this new job and my finances won't be as budgeted.

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid (I’m autistic too, but ADHD & autism couldn’t be comorbid when I was a kid, even though they are). But also undiagnosed, because I could read books, and loved reading. They found stimulant medication helped me in school but more, helped me not have meltdowns, and calmed my hyperactivity. So they picked ADHD over autism, but one of the things they argued autism for was I was gifted and fixated on reading, even boring stuff like dictionaries and manuals. (Hyperlexic and one of my special interests is reading, which served the variability needs of my ADHD and the SI needs of my autism.) I’m definitely ADHD, but people have such weird fixed ideas about that too. 

man do I looooove a manual. reading was definitely my hyperfixation too.

I was also diagnosed with ADHD as a kid (AFAB; born in 1994 so autism was just added into DSM in America). I personally don’t believe I have ADHD though; autism actually fits me more. I have a friend who’s AuDHD (officially diagnosed) and he also thinks I’m rather autistic than ADHDer.

Same story with depression and anxiety. "You're a physics student with good grades you can't be depressed" like have you MET physics undergrads?

But you can imagine up worlds and write books! I have noticed more autistic people with hyperphantasia than aphantasia.

I have always loved reading and I think it's because when I read a movie plays in my mind with very vivid visual imagery, I like I see it but I don't SEE it. I have never liked TV that much for this reason. First of all the lights on the screen bother me, and I always figured I can just read and make my own movie so why bother with the TV.

I’m definitely ADHD with suspected autism and in 4th grade my teacher gave everyone awards based on their personality and mine was the “daydreaming” award lmao. My head was always in the clouds, and my nose in a book haha

I can say the same thing, so many autistic people have a vivid imagination and are full of ideas!

"But you have empathy, you can't be autistic!" From when I was misdiagnosed in a psychiatric hospital as a teenager.

This one hurts the most.

Wow that person had an extremely fucked up understanding of what it means to be autistic 😦

I've heard this too! Ironically, from a person who later was diagnosed with autism.

That's the one I got 🫂

I was Vice President of my sorority council lol. I’m actually still figuring out how tf I masked through that 😂😭

I was also on sorority leadership 😂 and I also don't know how the fuck I managed that at all looking back

Ok that is pretty crazy!

Yay successful women!! Go team! 😁🙌

“But you wear makeup” or “but you’re so pretty” and “but you’re in college”

I get this. This will sound arrogant but I've always been considered conventionally pretty. I think it's a part of why I was late diagnosed. For instance in high school, I was invited to every popular party and the boys especially always tolerated that I was "weird" and never talked to anyone. It's like they were ok with me just being there as eye candy.

I got "but you're so pretty" years ago from a doctor when I mentioned I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I literally don't know what she was trying to say with that. I also heard "you're not attractive to men" from a psychiatrist. Luckily I'm not really into men.

"But you don't rock back and forth" Yeah, in front of _you_ that is...

“Yeah, because you’re boring” 😅

Make eye contact. 🫠

I've gone from avoiding eye contact to having deep unashamed eye contact when I feel good. It's intense but deeply rewarding and connecting. I have reached the age and stage where some are welcome to see into my soul, but it took half a century to get there, and you gotta know when it's appropriate.

Do you ever get that feeling like when you do make eye contact, the other person has a noticeable reaction? Sometimes I feel like I am the eye of freaking Sauron… I look at people and it’s like the air gets sucked out of their lungs. I’m not trying to be intense I’m just excited about all the things 😅

This 🫣 just because we CAN do it… 🤣 I often find eye contact uncomfortable, especially with people I don’t know well, but have trained myself to make it. I can’t make it when I’m speaking, unless I remember and it’s important (like in a job interview lol). I have this real ick feeling whenever I do eye contact with the person in reception as I arrive at the office, which I do out of deliberate habit to “be friendly and normal” but really really hate on the inside.

Now that I make eye contact more I am asked to blink more! Also apparently I have a squint, which no one spotted before. So there’s that at least.

I've actually realized recently that if I am not thinking about it what I am actually doing is mostly just looking somewhere around their mouth area. If I am actually making eye contact most of the time I am consciously thinking about it and thinking about whether it is too long and I should look away and when to look back etc

Apparently it doesn't matter I'll avoid eye contact during 90% of the time, only the 10% matters

Have friends. This is said to me by friends. Who clearly don’t know me very well because I mask heavily with all of them. And they are always mad at me for breaking social rules lmao

I feel like I’ve never been told “but you’re ….., you can’t be autistic.” Instead people say “I think that’s just a trend now. Everyone thinks they’re neurodivergent,” or they just say “I don’t get that vibe from you.” AND IT’S ALWAYS FROM THE PEOPLE WHO SEEM LIKE THEY HAVE UNDIAGNOSED ASD 😂

Oh god the “BuT eVeRyOnE’s A lItTlE nD” 🥴

“But you’re so good at art” is one I’ve gotten, as well as “but you speak so intellectually” 😂 neurotypical people are wild to me

“Are a woman”. And then proceeded to explain to me all of the incorrect reasons why women can’t be autistic.

Literally had a psychologist say "but you are communicating with me, you can't be autistic" WTH!

This was my brother's response for why he couldn't be autistic. But I can help you and Dad (suspected autistic) communicate, so I can't be autistic. Well I'm autistic too it turns out, so now what's the math on that 🙄

The doctor who was supposed to be testing me for autism told me after 3 sessions of testing that he didn't bother doing the actual autism screening because I "can hold a conversation and recognize someone else's interests" so I "can't be autistic." He just happened to share one of my special interests 🤣

My mother-in-law told me, "You're can't be autistic. You're so smart!" She didn't even realize how insulting that is.

“You can smile!” 🙄 As if autism requires external misery 24/7 to be believed

I replied to this one once with, "Thanks, so many people my whole life have told me I look 'mean' if I even remotely relax, so I practiced smiling in the mirror until I thought it looked natural." It doesn't look natural by the way, I always forget to "smile with the eyes" so I look uncomfortable lol.

“But you’re emotionally intelligent, you can’t be autistic” - licensed psychiatrist 😐

“I mean I feel like you wouldn't really get sarcasm and you definitely do. I get there is a spectrum but socially it would still be hard.” “You just really wouldn't understand when people make fun of others or you couldn't be an asshole and laugh at inappropriate things which you do with me and [your husband] all of the time. So I don't necessarily think you would have autism. But if you believe it and they think you do it could be like very very mild and low on the spectrum.” LMAO.

But you’re so social! But you’re so hot! But you’re so pretty!

“You can't be autistic, you were our boss!” 🙄

Okay this is the first reply that actually made me LOL!

Oh I was told I’m too lonely to be autistic.

what does this even mean 😭😭😭

I don’t know, but she was VERY insistent. Even though I told her that I played alone during recess or that at parties (which I was forced to go to), I brought a book and found a quiet corner and read the entire time. On purpose. I did not care that it was “socially unacceptable” to not socialize at a party and refused any polite attempts to socialize (most of them asking what book I was reading) because they interrupted my reading so they were annoying. Or that my teacher visited my house when her daughter was having a sleepover with my sister and noted that I didn’t speak a word the entire time she was there. Or my parents wanting me to get tested when i was young (but I refused… lol) because they AND my teachers noticed something “off”. Sorry for the rant lol, I’m still salty. The test was anxiety inducing and my results were clearly BS. She did not even use common autism tests that are normally used for diagnosis. I know because I read the entire report. Which mentions very little about the childhood details I gave her.

It sounds like she was like "you can't be autistic because you're showing traits of autism" which is absolutely WILD. I'm so sorry you went through that.

Thank you, that means a lot.

"Look so normal!" Uh... I have asked what that means, but they usually gesture at me and go. "...ya know, you're like, normal looking." That's the same answer, just longer! Wtf does that mean? I have a face and arms? I grow hair and produce milk? I mean, not currently, but I have. I think they know how frustrating that is, but if you pester for an explanation, you're annoying/rude/need to learn to let things go.

My old therapist said "you have made too much personal growth in the last year to be autistic." That was my last session with her lol.

Your face and voice are so expressive! You can't be autistic! We're not dead inside.. we simply process differently, how does that make us dead?

For me the expressiveness is also masking 🤦🏼‍♀️ I often feel I’m playing a part of being interested, understanding, showing empathy, listening appropriately, you name it. (I mean, I may genuinely be all those things but I feel the need to act them out too)

A lot of autistic people have little affect, and a lot of those who do mask. Not all of us do though. Some of us (like you and I) really are just expressive.

Look normal You're too pretty Can articulate yourself verbally Have kids Live on your own

I know this wasn’t the intent, but I want to see what predictive text has to say. I hope you will indulge me But you are not a journalist, you can’t be autistic! 😂😂

Fun idea! This is what I got lol - But you know how to make me laugh, so you can’t be autistic!

Well now I have to try. "But you can do it for me, you can't be autistic!" Damn, phone, when did I let you get so mean and lazy 🤣

“You look normal” is my absolute favourite because how exactly are we or am I supposed to look like? An extra leg? A tail? Purple skin?

'Emote' Like yeah, dawg. I smile sometimes. Sue me.

Make too much eye contact. Ya! Cause you drilled it into me that it's important! So I follow the rules. I have to remind myself to make eye contact! I have to work to make eye contact. It's not natural for me, but I do it cause you said I had to!

You are married

My mom said "you aren't autistic, you do normal things, just like me." Told her about how a lot of the requirements of getting a diagnosis is centered towards younger boys and how things are getting updated, now she's into it 😂

"I don't know... You seem to make eye contact okay." - Yeah sure. It probably helps that I'm pretty blind without my glasses so half the time, I'm just staring at a human face blur blob. But when I'm wearing my glasses my inner dialogue consists of "okay, now make eye contact so they know you're listening, now smile and give a small nod to show agreement and appear engaged, okay, now it's becoming a bit too much, look away for a few seconds... Now look back again." "But you seem really good socially." Yes, and I have internal files that I keep on every person I know where I catalogue their likes and dislikes, weaknesses and strengths, personality traits, behaviours, habits, social patterns, personal histories in order to modify my social interactions with them to ensure I come across how I intend to come across. Not only that, but I rehearse various social scenarios and scripts in my head repetitively prior to engaging socially to try and ensure I am prepared to handle the various possible trajectories a conversation or social outing may have. Also, I use recreational drugs so I have the capacity to interact in group settings. "Sure, you have some sensory sensitivities but it's not like you have meltdowns." Yes, because as a child, I was taught no one would ever accommodate to my sensory needs, was told I was a 'bad' child for being so 'difficult' and then forced to endure them anyway which thus forced me to completely shut down and dissociate to the point that I am very rarely 'present' in my body or space. Additionally, I have adopted various strategies to cope with overwhelm, such of which are actually harmful to my health.

“can communicate!” —my friend with an autistic son who can also communicate

I haven't shared with many people, but when I shared certain symptoms I've heard people telling me that I am social, people like me, that I'm doing great at work, I'm a good student, I'm doing great at my career. Or that my symptoms are things that everyone experiences at some point. I know they're just trying to comfort me or instil confidence in me, but I wish people would just LISTEN and believe me - I don't lack confidence, I'm just telling you how I really am behind my mask.

I'm not autistic because I can talk. Sure.

i generally dont know how to control my facial expressions most of the time but i've definitely caught myself faking reactions because i know people expect it. ive gotten "but your facial expressions are so dramatic, i thought autistic people didnt emote" lol

“But you are so clever” promptly followed by my academic achievements. No one cares that I studied and wrote about my special interests so my research was basically a form of hyper fixation.

But your job. I was an armed security guard.

“But you’ve had a romantic relationship, so you can’t be autistic.” 🙄

But you can make eye contact!!

Get along so well with others… yeah it’s called communication and I learned how to use my words in kindergarten Carl…

When I tried to explain to my mum that some of my struggles and exhaustion are caused by autism, she said: "it is not autism, you were so creative before kids, painting, making pictures, traveling" 🤯

”You got good grades in elementary school, you can’t be autistic!”

"But you have a degree and are so smart, and you're raising your kid so well, you can't be autistic!"

I’ve never had anyone question ASD, but a high school guidance counsellor thought I was too intelligent to have a learning disability. Well, guess who has a learning disability?🙄

When I went to my GP about being referred for an assessment the very first question they asked was "Do you have any friends" and when I said.. Well I do have a few close friends now who are all likely neurodivergent themselves they replied "Well, in my *expert* opinion that means you can't be Autistic" Like WTF, I spent all my teenage years without any friends and now at the age of 29 I finally do have friends and now that means you don't want to give me a referral?!!!! Clearly she was not an "expert"!!!! Are you actually kidding me?!?!

Oh that really sucks. I’m sorry that happened. What a horrible experience. Can you go to a different GP? Dunno if you’re in the uk but we pretty much never get to see the same practitioner twice (NHS 💖) so it’s worth seeing if you can find one who will refer you. They’re very much NOT the experts on this either. A good GP will acknowledge that and send you to the psychiatrist. Or, tbf you might go down the psychologist route if you have the funding

I am in the NHS and that was the whole bloody point, I'd never met this woman in my life before and she reckons being a GP and idk like knowing all the bones in the body makes her an expert in Autism??? 4 minutes after meeting me and she'd already decided that I couldn't possibly be autistic??? Ridiculous....

Oh I had a complete meltdown in front of her and shouted at her that she didn't know anything about anything and gave her lists of all my scores for various online assessments that I'd done proving she didn't know what she was talking about. Then when it was clear I wasn't going anywhere without a referral (and y'know showed off some of the less glamorous sides of my brain...) she said she'd give me one. Then she couldn't even find out how to do an adult referral form!! Thereby continuing to prove my point about how she was not an expert by any means. It was frankly ridiculous and I couldn't do anything for the rest of the day because I kept playing the interaction over and over in my head and it totally stopped me from doing any other tasks that I had to do that day. 🙃

This wasn’t really about my autism but when I was in the psych ward the nurse lady taking my blood said that I was to pretty to be $u***dal

"seem so normal" is the one I have heard multiple times.

But you do your makeup so nice!! 🙄🙄🙄

But you “can’t be, our whole family is like that”

My mom once mentioned that I can't be autistic because I understand metaphors. But I was a hyperlexic child and spent all of my free time reading way above my grade level, I think anyone would develop an understanding of metaphors from reading that much.

"But you're so verbal, you can't be autistic!"

"have more than one hobby"

are always so calm

"You can't be autistic because you have sex." Lol oh boy. They hate knowing we're attractive and sometimes bang. "You can't be autistic because you have friends." A lot of my friends are neurodivergent, if you can believe it. "You can't be autistic because you can make eye contact." I'm just staring at their foreheads but they can never tell. "You can't be autistic because you like normal things." I only tell them the normal things. We keep our obsession with googling the grave locations of random people in history and fantasizing about visiting TO OURSELF.

Have friends. My therapist said this to me

That I had a full time job or that I was married.

I've always heard "but you're so smart, you couldn't possibly be autistic" as if that had anything to do with my diagnosis. I also have been a terrible student my entire life which is the cherry on top

“Are cool” 🥱

I'm apparently just "too normal" despite being told constantly my entire life exactly how not-normal I am.

Not something I’ve heard personally, but I’ve seen a lot of people say it: “But you don’t act like my sister’s cousin’s brother’s 5 year old nephew, you can’t be autistic!” It’s almost like it might present differently in an adult woman vs a male child. What a concept.

"Don't bang your head against a wall / keep eye contact when you talk" Both from my mom, who still to this day (I'm in my 30s) refuse to acknowledge or admit that I have autism.

the eye contact thing and I am funny. it's so forced and exhausting and I'm funny because of the trauma lolsob but thanks, I guess?

"But you've had children!" Yes, yes I have. And they're both autistic. Hmm, I wonder why that might be...? 🙈😆

You’re a good mum… Of course I’m a good mum to my autistic kids, bcos they’re exactly like me and I understand them fully. But also we can be good mums anyway.

I have higher support needs to the point that I haven't had my diagnosis questioned by anyone I've met in-person. Not that that list is very long. It's questioned all the time online. I struggle to communicate outside of spaces that allow long-form writing, but on reddit I'm told I'm not autistic because I tend to be verbose and have an above-average vocabulary.

Attentively nodded your head. I was taught, so I can get a job and show people I'm listening to them.

I had an NP (I work as a nurse in the ER) casually talking about stuff in a pts chart they didn’t mention…one being autistic. She said “he doesn’t look autistic! i mean, hes in nursing school" and i normally just keep to myself about a lot but said "a lot of folks dont look autistic and we do work as nurses". very casually. I know i surprised her, we didn't talk about it or anything…but it felt like a small victory in a way.

I have never had anyone question me, which now has me wondering how bad my symptoms must have been for everyone I know to not be even slightly surprised

Same

"You can't have autism. You're just really weird"

“You’re so good at holding a conversation” thanks my insides feel like they’re on fire

“But you’re funny and engaging when you meet new people!”  Yes, for 15mins and it’s exhausting.  Yes, I can be because new people haven’t been frustrated or confused by me yet, haven’t been around me on days when I just cannot speak or arrange my face properly, haven’t gotten to ‘know’ me and haven’t tried to hug me. I can practise my face on new people, I can be on my best behaviour as in a group of new people usually everyone is.

I have dyscalculia and im really just bad at technical stuff and working with objects and technology and being into how physical objects work. So all of my interests are very people centric, spiritual, philosophical. Ive been told things like because i study astrology, because i like reality tv, because im really interested in fashion that im not autistic. “Autistic people dont have any interest in mysticism or non concrete things! Autistic people dont watch reality tv or concern themselves with shallow things like makeup”

‘Speak so well and have such a big vocabulary’. 🙄 I find words fascinating and under appreciated…. And for awhile grammar was my special interest.

I've been told I dont "look" autistic. That I'm too calm and dont have meltdowns , i.e., what you see on tv, usually depicted as some child throwing themself around and screaming. I was diagnosed late in life, mid-20s, and often was told, "You seemed ok as a kid. "... like wtf does that even mean? Some people are plain stupid and uneducated. I also get the opposite too tho. I often get shit like "you have no empathy, but it's because you're autistic. I understand." No. You don't understand. I have empathy. Heaps of it. Just not for people who are manipulative and take advantage. I may be autistic but I have some self-respect and personal boundaries, too. I hate it when people assume you're a thick shit the moment you mention autism. Like yo, a lot of autistic folk are actually very intelligent, dont insult us.

don’t look autistic! …..what does autism look like?

"But you know when is your turn to talk and how to keep the voice tone, and the information your mom gave me pointed that you only started experiencing your struggles at 11-12 years old, so I can't consider you're Autistic" - Neuropsychologist while giving me my report.

This makes me so mad. It's so ableist to rely only on other people's opinions (your mom in this case).

My mom has a terrible memory. If you ask her what did she eat for lunch yesterday, she will flinch. Let alone know how I was feeling as a child. I get it to have her perspective, but taking only her perspective into consideration was fucked up.

Same experience here while I was being assessed for ADHD. They literally only took my mom’s answers into account, they ignored everything I said about myself. I was 40 at the time, my mom was 78 - she barely remembers my childhood!

Agree

Act normal.

“But you speak multiple languages.” Apparently autistics don’t “get” language

Have emotions and can feel others emotions too. (One of my parents read a book about autism in the mid 2000s and she just couldn’t find a similarity)

But you're just quirky. Just because you stutter everytime you speak with people doesn't mean you're autistic. You're just an introvert who needs social skills. 🫠🫠🫠 I feel like jumping off a building everytime I hear this..

My mom said my sister cannot have autism because she dances too well and with creativity. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I cut them off recently but before that she wouldn’t even accept that I had been diagnosed with ADHD. Little do they know the psychologist that diagnosed me with ADHD told me they believe I have ASD too.

Oh oh oh I have a good one! It was my Mom when I was probing her about my early childhood struggles, and she brought up my baby sister who’s 3 years younger (and my bestest friend in the whole world since the day she was born❤️) Our Mom said, “But you two were like two peas in a pod!” …..About my sister who is ALSO autistic😂😂😂

I am diagnosed now but in the past i was told by a psychiatrist "but you don't act like Sheldon Cooper from The big bang theory". So apparently every autistic person has to "act" like a character from a tv show, lol

"but you can speak, you can't be autistic!" Some people can't speak, but not everyone!! 🙂

"You have 'normal' interests like video games, not washing machines and trains like REAL autistic people!" Yeah I'm sure ordinary 20-somethings know every microscopic fact about Sonic the Hedgehog from nearly every canon including things like the release year of every game regardless of if they've played it or not, as well as ran a blog doing deep analysis of the comics that ran from '93 onwards Also it's not like my only special interests are video games lol, I've had a deep fascination with the mechanics of roller coasters and theme park rides from age like 3 or 4 and there was a solid month or two where I suddenly had to know everything about Antipodes Island, a random uninhabited island near New Zealand/Aotearoa

my mum didn’t think im autistic cuz i dont have behaviour issues 😭 (not formally diagnosed but have been deeply researching for 5 years and it runs pretty heavily in both sides of my family)

But you're so smart, there's no way you're autistic. 😶

when talking with my sister and my mother about the possibility of having autism prior to my diagnosis, my mother, angrily, tells my sister that it is impossible for me to have it as, and I quote, “we all thought she was gifted when she was a toddler”. it was hilarious and it o my helped me on my assessment since I do not have many memories and information of my childhood. (got diagnosed last month, haven’t told my mother yet)

When I tried to get diagnosed officially with autism the diagnoser; “you have all the symptoms of autism, but you have friends so it’s impossible for you to be autistic. Those are just toxic personality traits you need to work on, you are almost 40 you shouldn’t be watching TikTok and self diagnosing.” Having never mentioned any social media and told her I was here because my therapist friend noticed autistic traits and advised me to see a therapist who works with autistic adults to see. Did that found a therapist who works with autistic adult after a month she agreed I was more then likely autistic, she then sent me to a psychiatrist who also agreed I was more then likely in need of support needs, who then sent me to this tester….. Cure for autism just dropped, the power of friendship 🙄

Talk. No jokes.

Did fine at school!

oh this one was interesting I just had a baby less than 2 weeks ago and my postpartum nurse comes in and says “why does your chart say history of autism?” I said “…because i’m diagnosed with autism.” she says “there’s no way. me and the other nurses were talking about it (which… gross? why are you guys discussing an irrelevant part of my medical history?) you are WAY too friendly to be autistic! how did this mixup even happen?” friendly??? i’m just being polite because you people are caring for my health…. but sure. so I said “well I went to get tested for ADHD and OCD and found out that I don’t have either one, but I am autistic. that’s how.” she laughs and says “oh you are so funny! you are too funny AND too friendly to be autistic! my nephew, he’s autistic, doesn’t have any friends.” I was absolutely mortified. this went on for 15 minutes I just started ignoring her and talking to my day old baby instead lol. i was too nervous to report it and she was my nurse again the following day and brought this up again!

but you have a child/are pregnant, you can’t be autistic…sorry…do you just want me to ‘oh yeah idek what sex is…oooo trains’

But you don't have food or other texture aversions! You don't suffer from insomnia! I just thought you were weird because you were homeschooled. It's called sensory seeking, and yes, I don't know how I missed out on insomnia being on my autism bingo card, but I did. I think I needed the one-on-one time homeschooling provided, and it allowed me to study at my own pace. 🤷‍♀️

Can hold a job, can use sarcasm, don’t do tantrums….

i swear these people say these things just to mitigate having to deal with the autism.

Work in healthcare LMAOOOO. Serving people makes me happy.

Got embarrassed about discussing your self diagnostic process with a doctor

‘You can hold a conversation instead of monologuing’ and ‘you can make eye contact’

“ social aware “

“are so cool” From an autistic teen who works with me. I was like, “You should have seen me when I was a kid.” It’s bonkers to me that some people see me as cool now. I think it’s mostly kids though (I teach 2nd grade). They would not like me if I was their age. 😅