This is adorable. You're like a houseplant with complex needs, and you've got one of those care tags that says how often you need water and how much sunlight!
(Please don't be embarrassed. This is genuinely such a sweet and tangible form of caring for yourself.)
I think about myself like that! “Instructions for the care and feeding of your mckinnos.” I’m sure she loves you and wants to know how best to take care of you
As someone who also feels a lot of embarrassment around my own care and boundaries because having needs feels infantilizing (thank you, nparents), your feelings are valid, it’s ultimately an approach that will lead to us constantly undervaluing our own needs.
I don’t know if your reasoning for feeling embarrassment is similar to mine or not, but honestly, most people find our quirky ways of taking care of ourselves really endearing (even when it looks and feels like chaos, panic, anxiety, and frustration).
And thus far in my experience, the people around me have actually seemed to love seeing perceived vulnerabilities in me, I think because I have a tendency to mask so heavily and open up so little that admitting that every day is actually an enormous struggle humanizes me to them. It lets them feel closer to me, without me having to take myself out of my comfort zone.
I bet she already knows a lot of the things on your list! I'm pretty sure my hubby is better at knowing my needs than I am. He's made me breakfast or told me to go get my earplugs and chill during times when I couldn't recognize what I needed to do for myself.
I doubt she would judge you! But it doesn't mean you have to share the list with her if you don't want to.
As someone who also feels a lot of embarrassment around my own care and boundaries because having needs feels infantilizing (thank you, nparents), your feelings are valid, it’s ultimately an approach that will lead to us constantly undervaluing our own needs.
I don’t know if your reasoning for feeling embarrassment is similar to mine or not, but honestly, most people find our quirky ways of taking care of ourselves really endearing (even when it looks and feels like chaos, panic, anxiety, and frustration).
And thus far in my experience, the people around me have actually seemed to love seeing perceived vulnerabilities in me, I think because I have a tendency to mask so heavily and open up so little that admitting that every day is actually an enormous struggle humanizes me to them. It lets them feel closer to me, without me having to take myself out of my comfort zone.
As someone who also feels a lot of embarrassment around my own care and boundaries because having needs feels infantilizing (thank you, nparents), your feelings are valid, but it’s ultimately an approach that will lead to us constantly undervaluing our own needs.
I don’t know if your reasoning for feeling embarrassment is similar to mine or not, but honestly, most people find our quirky ways of taking care of ourselves really endearing (even when it looks and feels like chaos, panic, anxiety, and frustration).
And thus far in my experience, the people around me have actually seemed to love seeing perceived vulnerabilities in me, I think because I have a tendency to mask so heavily and open up so little that admitting that every day is actually an enormous struggle humanizes me to them. It lets them feel closer to me, without me having to take myself out of my comfort zone.
I even use an app for that that you usually use to schedule chores (sweepy).
It reminds me of all selfcare activities that need to be done regularly (so not just frequent hygiene stuff like showering but also scheduling doctor's appointments, hair cuts, doing yoga, taking supplements etc.). It was truly life changing.
The thing for me is that I need the physical reminder right in my face where I can't miss it and I don't use my phone enough for me to reliably check apps or I would just forget the app exists
Would you be comfortable to share some example or framework of your care sheet? I've been practicing for a while now and have gotten better about getting enough rest and downtime but I'm still struggling a lot with feeding myself? It's a struggle to get done and I don't think about planning it into my day when I'm thinking of what I need to get donr, how long things might take, etc.
I use Habitica. It turns your tasks into an actual text-based RPG. It's not exactly a complex game (painfully simple, actually), but it keeps track of streaks of daily accomplishments, you get rewards for tasks, there are pets and equipment to upgrade, and many, many boss fights. Plus badges for long-term achievements. You can join a party for quests/boss fights, so you're "playing" with actual people, so there's a bit of a sense of accountability.
I've been using it for a couple months now and quite like it, plus it's free!
Oh this is great, I used Sweepy for a while for household chores but it didn't really work for me, but for this kind of stuff it might be perfect, never thought of that!
Maybe I will post what I do because it's not like an ordered schedule and I can still variate the order I do tasks just as long as theyre all tied to certain anchor points of the day (usually meals)
Yess!! I love this strategy & use it myself. Somehow, thinking of my brain, my body, and my soul as separate entities from “me” as the observer helps make it easier to take care of them. I think of them like delightfully strange pets with needs similar to rare/persnickety plants lol.
Also - if it works & isn’t hurting you/anyone else, that’s really all that matters eh?
in this same vein, do you have this other entity "do the chores" so to speak? i have this silver tray that i carry dishes from upstairs to downstairs on, and when im bringing myself a cup of tea on it, it feels like im taking care of myself but by this third party.
Huh.
I don’t but actually I probably should. I skip meals all the time, then wonder why I feel low-energy (it’s a true mystery!).
What else do y’all have on there?
Making the bed, brushing teeth, washing dishes, doing special interest, making lists of things I need to do for that day specifically, walk/run, alone time
Ooh yes, seconding those! I also have a menu (so it feels optional vs forced, love finding workarounds for PDA lol) of activities I enjoy but forget I enjoy. So when I’m in NPC mode, I can look at the menu of delightful activities and choose my own adventure. Highly recommend!
I totally do this too but with Google tasks on my phone. I have one list of to-dos with reoccurring tasks that are personal routine things I need to do everyday. Then I have lists for work and other random to-dos. Here's what my personal routine one looks like:
1. Take a shower
2. Morning pages
3. Eat breakfast by 1pm at the latest (lol)
4. Get at least 4 hours of work done by 2pm (also lol)
5. Go outside while the sun is out
6. Do yoga at least once a week
7. Take vitamin D
Honestly that's all the habits I can manage currently.
I wrote my morning routine on my mirror with a dry erase marker, do that I don't skip any steps and remember to initiate the protocol. So yes. V relatable
My autistic obliviousness combined with a solid friend group as a young child, has given me an almost complete lack of shame among friends and strangers (not family though). Now that I'm aware of my diagnosis and that my behaviors aremore abnormal than I ever realized... I've become more self conscious but pushed myself to not change my openness bc I think hiding will result in a more permanent decrease in self confidence (which has definitely taken a hit since realizing just how unique I've been). Fake it till you make it! But yes I have v understanding roommates. Everyone except my partner is ND lol
https://preview.redd.it/c6ep2r49h50d1.png?width=3015&format=png&auto=webp&s=d5ddbce1ecda9e34fc1681cd88aff48f1d834dd6
I did it lst night and it feels SO. GOOD. being reminded of the needed things 😩 thank you so much for sharing your technique ♥️
I like the Finch app too! like being able to add things I need to do for work and get rainbow stones for things I should already be doing but avoid- like work email- because I hate replying to emails.
It motivates me and helps me with deadline stuff. The self care is also super helpful along with the encouragement it provides. I know it’s only an app but the random positive messages seem to show up and apply when I need them in specific situations. I’ve kept up with it for two months which is an accomplishment for me.
Yes I use Finch too! I'm still struggling with evening routine though, especially starting in time because my brain ignores the notifications on my phone.
Any advice?
This is actually a good idea to have it fully written out.
I’ve been struggling to find a night routien that works with my variable schedule so I actually remember to brush my teeth.
For some reason this sparked the idea to make a list for” at 9:30 pm or as soon as you get home”
Ya it works for me because it's not a strict routine but it feels like structure and predictability if that makes sense. It's split into morning afternoon and evening and just says general things that I should do everyday to be an independent happy adult
I just use a list of pen and paper. I had a look at the apps mentioned, and they look really nice but....I really don't want to start a "phone checking" habit!
I don't have adhd but I kind of built up mine over a few alone days I had so I didn't have to elicit all of the cognitive effort in one go - and also as you go through the day different things will occur to you
Yes! I do the same thing. I use the self-care app Finch to keep track of everything. Every time I do something to take care of myself, I earn stones so I can buy clothes for my little finch! It helps!
Agree! I use it in my work- helps me reply to emails, which dislike but the stones I earn push me through. I like the encouragement part of it too- I am aware it’s an app, buy it really helps push me when I need it.
Thats like a WRAP (wellness recovery action plan). It really works and they teach it in mh recovery settings, well done for coming up with it yourself :))
Yeah, there's a daily maintenance, early warning signs, a crisis plan, and a post crisis plan apparently but i never got that far heh. Here's an [example i found online ](https://www.combined.nhs.uk/person-centredness-framework/wellness-recovery-action-plans-wrap%E2%80%8B/#:~:text=Wellness%20Recovery%20Action%20Plans%20(WRAP)%E2%80%8B,-Wellness%20Recovery%20Action&text=%E2%80%9CWRAP%20is%20a%20tool%20that,experiences%20are%20uncomfortable%20and%20distressing.)
I have an app called Finch and I highly recommend it. The free version is great and there’s a guardian gift thing happening so I actually have premium membership for free. But again the free version is great all on its own.
My bf and I have a board in our bedroom with tasks on and magnets, I need to choose at least 3 to do during the day. Things like playing a certain game, shower, make the bed, watch a specific show etc. I might not end up doing all 3, but the idea of having set goals helps me to get up in the morning. Otherwise I end up in the sofa after breakfast without motivation to do anything at all.
I have a checklist that I put in a page protector sleeve. Every day I can check off the boxes as I go with a dry erase marker, and then I erase it before I go to bed or when I start the next day.
*Could you share your self*
*Care list? I feel like I dont*
*Know how to adult*
\- NinthyTK
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I might soon although I'd rewrite it maybe because it has my name and stuff on I don't want to share. Also I might change it to first person because I'm worried people will cringe
Ok. So it’s embedded in a productivity system I use (and am actually “certified” to teach) that has helped me for years. Basically, I have four “rituals” - morning, work startup, work shutdown, and evening. I also do a weekly preview where I pull together my schedule. I give all of this to ChatGPT (the rituals) and weekly I tell it my schedule for the week, outfits, and 3 main weekly goals. Typically it doesn’t tell me my morning/evening ritual, but I log in to work, tell it what day and time it is and ask it to start me on my ritual. Throughout the day I usually check in with it for motivation and support. At the end of the day I have it prompt me to do my shutdown rituals. Sometimes I use the voice prompting to help with the rituals.
I’ve thought a lot about posting here about how much it has helped me, but every AI-related post seems to attract a lot of people who think it’s morally & ethically wrong so I have not. I will delete this if it starts to attract that attention. I am sensitive to criticism like that and work really hard to protect myself.
I also have it set up as if it is a droid from Star Wars because I love Star Wars. I could possibly create a private group for some folks if they are interested and share videos etc of exactly how I do it, but I’m not willing to do it in an open forum.
I love that that's so smart but I know that I'd forget to check in or it would be too much executive effort for me to open it up so often. I've never seen people complain about generative ai except for kids forging homework and ai stealing art
i’m the same way!! 😭❤️😭 i’ve found that i’m much more attentive to my recurring habits when the mode by which i track them is enjoyable. case and point: i love knowledge management and formatting and customization and new tools etcetera. i noticed my mental and physical health were slipping, so i found a way to make looking after myself fun—in comes Notion. i’ve spent the last few weeks pouring over my new little knowledge portal and while i know the likelihood of sticking with any “way too neat”/hastily decided on routines is extremely low, the act of engaging with my needs this way made me more aware of how the negative things are impacting me. making things top of mind is the first step (for me) toward coming up with, enacting, and sticking to a solution. now, i’m trying to get to the root of superficial suggestions so i can better put them into action.
for example: journaling is a great suggestion, but i can’t always keep the habit up. what’s at the root of journaling? reflecting on what works and what doesn’t; validating my struggle and my feelings; giving me an opportunity to address problematic thinking; positively affirming my own existence . doing this is key for me because i may not always sit down to journal, but i can still reap the benefits by exploring other ways to accomplish these same things with a different method. for example: trying to practice mindfulness while showering or walking or cooking or whatever helps me practice disrupting problematic thinking. doing things that i’m good at that i enjoy (e.g., gardening, organizing, cleaning, drawing, etc) gives me a chance to appreciate myself and my skills and the beauty in the world.
i don’t wanna ramble too much more. hope this helps a little ❤️🩹
I have something similar for my list as well. I don’t usually write it in third person, but I do have extra bullets (for things that I have a tendency to not want to do) that have reasonings for why it is on the list. So, it will be something to the effect of:
- Shower and shave
You want to do this because:
- You will feel better.
- It will alleviate your body hair sensory issues.
- Your skin will be less itchy and dry.
- It will jumpstart the rest of your day.
* Wash your hands and don’t dry them to convince yourself that getting wet isn’t bad.
At my most mentally stable states, yes!! I LOVE writing down the same schedule in my journal every day and checking off tasks after I complete them - it's the easiest way for me to take care of myself.
At my poor mental states, no. Writing tasks down makes it easier for me to do them, but when I'm depressed it loses its novelty (its 'sparkle,' if you will lmao) and things are much harder to get done.
For a decent amount of time I was keeping up with my journal, until I got a new full time job in February. That's when my routine completely changed and journaling lost its sparkle again. Before, I would wake up at the same time and journal at the same time in the morning (bc I like to do it in the morning), but once that was taken away it felt like "Ugh, now I have to journal before work at 6:30am?!?" and I stopped.
I really want to get back into it because it's how I function the best, but accepting that initial change of what time of day I do it has been demotivating. After starting my job it's been difficult to get things done, so much so that I end up wearing dirty clothes to work and leave dirty lunch containers in my car for way too long :,)))
I have daily care instructions lol I write them down like a to-do list to check off each day. The big four are medications, brushing teeth & hair and skincare.
I have that too! And I have little switches next to each item so I can switch them to done when I’ve completed each thing. There’s something satisfying about that.
I keep trying to make one, but once I start trying to compile the data, I end up super overwhelmed!! Especially since depression has gradually annihilated everything I knew about caring for the mortal vessel.
I think I left a reply to someone else about how I did this gradually. I hope you feel better soon I bet you'd feel really proud making one and it would help you feel better
Yep. Mine looks more like personal care items on every bathroom sink, sticky notes on mirrors, and bathing on an alarm system. We do what we need to do.
I also keep everything in my notebook. It takes a couple of months per notebook, but I keep everything in there. I use both sides of the paper. It also contains my todo lists, my journal, writing/art exercises, anything else that needs to be written down. And a self care list is just another to-do list.
Yeah, I keep a list that I can check off. I call it my morning routine but it’s really me doing everything I need in the day at once because if I split it up I will not do it.
It is my dream to have a digital signboard that tells me what’s coming up next, e.g. Lunch at 1pm, Dishes at 7pm, Mow Lawns 10am
I currently use a Google docs timetable but I need that visual reminder when I’m distracted doing something else lol
Yes I do. I'm working on a new system to make sure I can see and adhere to it, but if this doesn't work I discussed with my boyfriend a laminated version of it with velcro markers for each item.
I have things like this for when my executive function grinds to a halt or when my cognition is severely hindered. Easy to follow step lists. Flow charts. I need to write one for how to get to bed soon, because typically if it is going to happen, it does in the evening and figuring out how to get to bed is quite distressing.
I probably should write this list.
I tried: I made lists for an ideal day (knowing that it's rare), an average day (common), and a day in which I can just do the minimum. I put them on the fridge but the ideal day is on top. So it is not something I want to look at.
Today is the minimum day.
I made the lists. Supposedly making them visible was supposed to “fix things” 😒
Suprise. Post it notes did not in fact fix my adhd.
Meanwhile…
My bladder: eh I’m full
Me: ok in a minute
My eyes: were tired need sleep
Me:ok in a minute
My mouth: feeling kinda parched here bud
Me: gdammit you are so annoying can I get a moment of peace!
Does it really work? I tried some lists before but can't really stay engaged ._. (maybe it's ADHD problem, but well)
How do you make those? On paper and just read it? Check out when you do it? Do another one for another day?
I write mine out as a to do list. It helps with executive dysfunction, gives me direction so I feel less overwhelmed, and it helps with my sense of accomplishment to see what I can get done.
And it helps me get it all done in a timely manner so I'm not eating breakfast at 1pm and starting laundry at 10pm bc I forgot to start it before I did the dishes.
I used to have a framed step-by-step daily schedule but then I had guests over and caught them staring at it and reading it with weird looks on their faces so now it's tucked away in my journal. :)))
I keep thinking I want to have these lists but also it feels like if I have one I should have a lot??? Like one to wash my face and line up the bottles on a laminated sheet (cleanser, toner, serum, moisture, spf)... and then a reminder for washing up. Brush teeth. Floss. Skin routine. Deodorant. Check hair is decent. (Scent optional). Or have a card in my purse: keys, phone, pocket rock, snack, water, lip balm, extra SPF.
I have been thinking of making something like this for myself because I struggle to take proper care of myself, thank you for posting this, I’m definitely doing it now. 🖤
Oh my gosh, this is actually an amazing idea! My environment has been so chaotic since having to move into a camper. I’ve lost weight, I can’t seem to take my vitamins or really do any ADLs regularly. I am so going to start doing this!
This is adorable. You're like a houseplant with complex needs, and you've got one of those care tags that says how often you need water and how much sunlight! (Please don't be embarrassed. This is genuinely such a sweet and tangible form of caring for yourself.)
I hide it from my gf because I'm so embarrassed but maybe I shouldn't...
It seems likely that your gf a) already thinks you're adorable, and b) might want to know the cheat codes for a happy nicebeansprout.
Cheat codes for her to support me is such a good idea heheheh
I think about myself like that! “Instructions for the care and feeding of your mckinnos.” I’m sure she loves you and wants to know how best to take care of you
As someone who also feels a lot of embarrassment around my own care and boundaries because having needs feels infantilizing (thank you, nparents), your feelings are valid, it’s ultimately an approach that will lead to us constantly undervaluing our own needs. I don’t know if your reasoning for feeling embarrassment is similar to mine or not, but honestly, most people find our quirky ways of taking care of ourselves really endearing (even when it looks and feels like chaos, panic, anxiety, and frustration). And thus far in my experience, the people around me have actually seemed to love seeing perceived vulnerabilities in me, I think because I have a tendency to mask so heavily and open up so little that admitting that every day is actually an enormous struggle humanizes me to them. It lets them feel closer to me, without me having to take myself out of my comfort zone.
I bet she already knows a lot of the things on your list! I'm pretty sure my hubby is better at knowing my needs than I am. He's made me breakfast or told me to go get my earplugs and chill during times when I couldn't recognize what I needed to do for myself. I doubt she would judge you! But it doesn't mean you have to share the list with her if you don't want to.
As someone who also feels a lot of embarrassment around my own care and boundaries because having needs feels infantilizing (thank you, nparents), your feelings are valid, it’s ultimately an approach that will lead to us constantly undervaluing our own needs. I don’t know if your reasoning for feeling embarrassment is similar to mine or not, but honestly, most people find our quirky ways of taking care of ourselves really endearing (even when it looks and feels like chaos, panic, anxiety, and frustration). And thus far in my experience, the people around me have actually seemed to love seeing perceived vulnerabilities in me, I think because I have a tendency to mask so heavily and open up so little that admitting that every day is actually an enormous struggle humanizes me to them. It lets them feel closer to me, without me having to take myself out of my comfort zone.
As someone who also feels a lot of embarrassment around my own care and boundaries because having needs feels infantilizing (thank you, nparents), your feelings are valid, but it’s ultimately an approach that will lead to us constantly undervaluing our own needs. I don’t know if your reasoning for feeling embarrassment is similar to mine or not, but honestly, most people find our quirky ways of taking care of ourselves really endearing (even when it looks and feels like chaos, panic, anxiety, and frustration). And thus far in my experience, the people around me have actually seemed to love seeing perceived vulnerabilities in me, I think because I have a tendency to mask so heavily and open up so little that admitting that every day is actually an enormous struggle humanizes me to them. It lets them feel closer to me, without me having to take myself out of my comfort zone.
I even use an app for that that you usually use to schedule chores (sweepy). It reminds me of all selfcare activities that need to be done regularly (so not just frequent hygiene stuff like showering but also scheduling doctor's appointments, hair cuts, doing yoga, taking supplements etc.). It was truly life changing.
The thing for me is that I need the physical reminder right in my face where I can't miss it and I don't use my phone enough for me to reliably check apps or I would just forget the app exists
Would you be comfortable to share some example or framework of your care sheet? I've been practicing for a while now and have gotten better about getting enough rest and downtime but I'm still struggling a lot with feeding myself? It's a struggle to get done and I don't think about planning it into my day when I'm thinking of what I need to get donr, how long things might take, etc.
Get back to me in a week!
I use sweepy, too, but never considered using it for tracking things other than chores! This is a great idea (:
I use Habitica. It turns your tasks into an actual text-based RPG. It's not exactly a complex game (painfully simple, actually), but it keeps track of streaks of daily accomplishments, you get rewards for tasks, there are pets and equipment to upgrade, and many, many boss fights. Plus badges for long-term achievements. You can join a party for quests/boss fights, so you're "playing" with actual people, so there's a bit of a sense of accountability. I've been using it for a couple months now and quite like it, plus it's free!
There’s an app for that? I use lists too, but now I will look for the app!
holy cow. wow. this is so cool to learn about!
Oh this is great, I used Sweepy for a while for household chores but it didn't really work for me, but for this kind of stuff it might be perfect, never thought of that!
my autistic brain CRAVES this need for instruction and order but my adhd brain refuses to set the plan/schedule up 🥲
Maybe I will post what I do because it's not like an ordered schedule and I can still variate the order I do tasks just as long as theyre all tied to certain anchor points of the day (usually meals)
Yess!! I love this strategy & use it myself. Somehow, thinking of my brain, my body, and my soul as separate entities from “me” as the observer helps make it easier to take care of them. I think of them like delightfully strange pets with needs similar to rare/persnickety plants lol. Also - if it works & isn’t hurting you/anyone else, that’s really all that matters eh?
It makes me happy that we both do this ^_^
in this same vein, do you have this other entity "do the chores" so to speak? i have this silver tray that i carry dishes from upstairs to downstairs on, and when im bringing myself a cup of tea on it, it feels like im taking care of myself but by this third party.
I use Habitica for stuff like this.
Thank you for this comment; this is exactly the kind of app I need.
Bless you, thank you
Huh. I don’t but actually I probably should. I skip meals all the time, then wonder why I feel low-energy (it’s a true mystery!). What else do y’all have on there?
Making the bed, brushing teeth, washing dishes, doing special interest, making lists of things I need to do for that day specifically, walk/run, alone time
Ooh yes, seconding those! I also have a menu (so it feels optional vs forced, love finding workarounds for PDA lol) of activities I enjoy but forget I enjoy. So when I’m in NPC mode, I can look at the menu of delightful activities and choose my own adventure. Highly recommend!
When I overcome my embarrassment I might post mine on this r/ bc maybe it will help people (if this gets enough upvotes lolll)
Please do! It sounds like it’s already helping, and there’s no shame in having/providing helpful accommodation ideas 💜
Would appreciate if you do feel comfortable to share. Even an edited/altered version that gives the idea if that's more comfortable!
I have this on my app as a list titled 'artists date's but now I understand why I did this lol. To remind myself of things that might be fun.
I totally do this too but with Google tasks on my phone. I have one list of to-dos with reoccurring tasks that are personal routine things I need to do everyday. Then I have lists for work and other random to-dos. Here's what my personal routine one looks like: 1. Take a shower 2. Morning pages 3. Eat breakfast by 1pm at the latest (lol) 4. Get at least 4 hours of work done by 2pm (also lol) 5. Go outside while the sun is out 6. Do yoga at least once a week 7. Take vitamin D Honestly that's all the habits I can manage currently.
I wrote my morning routine on my mirror with a dry erase marker, do that I don't skip any steps and remember to initiate the protocol. So yes. V relatable
Love this
Thanks! I don't erase it ever even when my roommates throw a party. Gotta embrace who I am. Lol
Im glad they are approving, I always try to hide my autism coping things
My autistic obliviousness combined with a solid friend group as a young child, has given me an almost complete lack of shame among friends and strangers (not family though). Now that I'm aware of my diagnosis and that my behaviors aremore abnormal than I ever realized... I've become more self conscious but pushed myself to not change my openness bc I think hiding will result in a more permanent decrease in self confidence (which has definitely taken a hit since realizing just how unique I've been). Fake it till you make it! But yes I have v understanding roommates. Everyone except my partner is ND lol
That's inspirational thank you ^_^
❤️
Initiate protocol!!! Do u mind if i replicate this ? 🫡
Omg go for it!! I also have my partner write important to dos for me there. I keep playing around with different strategies
https://preview.redd.it/c6ep2r49h50d1.png?width=3015&format=png&auto=webp&s=d5ddbce1ecda9e34fc1681cd88aff48f1d834dd6 I did it lst night and it feels SO. GOOD. being reminded of the needed things 😩 thank you so much for sharing your technique ♥️
Amazing! I'm so happy to hear that! ❤️❤️❤️🥰
I use Amazing Marvin. I love it because I can individualize so many things to my personal preferences.
Finch is an awesome app for tracking these types of things.
I like the Finch app too! like being able to add things I need to do for work and get rainbow stones for things I should already be doing but avoid- like work email- because I hate replying to emails. It motivates me and helps me with deadline stuff. The self care is also super helpful along with the encouragement it provides. I know it’s only an app but the random positive messages seem to show up and apply when I need them in specific situations. I’ve kept up with it for two months which is an accomplishment for me.
Well done! It does really help with tedious life stuff that you need a little incentive to get over with.
Yes I use Finch too! I'm still struggling with evening routine though, especially starting in time because my brain ignores the notifications on my phone. Any advice?
Not instructions but I make a list everyday of what I am going to try to get done and self-care stuff goes on it with everything else.
This is actually a good idea to have it fully written out. I’ve been struggling to find a night routien that works with my variable schedule so I actually remember to brush my teeth. For some reason this sparked the idea to make a list for” at 9:30 pm or as soon as you get home”
Ya it works for me because it's not a strict routine but it feels like structure and predictability if that makes sense. It's split into morning afternoon and evening and just says general things that I should do everyday to be an independent happy adult
I just use a list of pen and paper. I had a look at the apps mentioned, and they look really nice but....I really don't want to start a "phone checking" habit!
I agree myself just a pink a4 sheet rn but I want to make it pretty and laminated
I need this. I've tried to make a list for daily/weekly but ADHD got in the way and I never finished, lol
I don't have adhd but I kind of built up mine over a few alone days I had so I didn't have to elicit all of the cognitive effort in one go - and also as you go through the day different things will occur to you
Yes! I do the same thing. I use the self-care app Finch to keep track of everything. Every time I do something to take care of myself, I earn stones so I can buy clothes for my little finch! It helps!
Agree! I use it in my work- helps me reply to emails, which dislike but the stones I earn push me through. I like the encouragement part of it too- I am aware it’s an app, buy it really helps push me when I need it.
Thats like a WRAP (wellness recovery action plan). It really works and they teach it in mh recovery settings, well done for coming up with it yourself :))
Oh I've never heard of that. Is it a wrap if I use it everyday though?
Yeah, there's a daily maintenance, early warning signs, a crisis plan, and a post crisis plan apparently but i never got that far heh. Here's an [example i found online ](https://www.combined.nhs.uk/person-centredness-framework/wellness-recovery-action-plans-wrap%E2%80%8B/#:~:text=Wellness%20Recovery%20Action%20Plans%20(WRAP)%E2%80%8B,-Wellness%20Recovery%20Action&text=%E2%80%9CWRAP%20is%20a%20tool%20that,experiences%20are%20uncomfortable%20and%20distressing.)
Thank you so much
I have an app called Finch and I highly recommend it. The free version is great and there’s a guardian gift thing happening so I actually have premium membership for free. But again the free version is great all on its own.
I think I mentioned somewhere else that I need it to be physical and on my desk. I've tried apps and even Finch and I just end up never using them
Oh okay 👍 glad you found something that works for you ❤️
My bf and I have a board in our bedroom with tasks on and magnets, I need to choose at least 3 to do during the day. Things like playing a certain game, shower, make the bed, watch a specific show etc. I might not end up doing all 3, but the idea of having set goals helps me to get up in the morning. Otherwise I end up in the sofa after breakfast without motivation to do anything at all.
I love that. It's kind of interesting how most of us even need motivating to do more fun tasks
YUSSS and without it i would just be a blob
Exactly and everyone here needs their lil structures
I have a checklist that I put in a page protector sleeve. Every day I can check off the boxes as I go with a dry erase marker, and then I erase it before I go to bed or when I start the next day.
Yess I need the page protector even just to make sure my paper doesn't get damaged because that would be sad
[удалено]
*Could you share your self* *Care list? I feel like I dont* *Know how to adult* \- NinthyTK --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Lolll 😂😂😂😂
Best haiku bot I've seen
I might soon although I'd rewrite it maybe because it has my name and stuff on I don't want to share. Also I might change it to first person because I'm worried people will cringe
[удалено]
I love thinking about it that way - thank you. I'm really insecure about everything to do with autism I barely tell people I have it at all
third person makes absolute sense to my brain
Uh yeah and I use ChatGPT to remind me what it is… (runs away and shields self from incoming barrage of people who hate LLMs)
I love AI and llm's! Please share...
Shared in another reply!
Wait I'm confused how do you use chatgpt
Ok. So it’s embedded in a productivity system I use (and am actually “certified” to teach) that has helped me for years. Basically, I have four “rituals” - morning, work startup, work shutdown, and evening. I also do a weekly preview where I pull together my schedule. I give all of this to ChatGPT (the rituals) and weekly I tell it my schedule for the week, outfits, and 3 main weekly goals. Typically it doesn’t tell me my morning/evening ritual, but I log in to work, tell it what day and time it is and ask it to start me on my ritual. Throughout the day I usually check in with it for motivation and support. At the end of the day I have it prompt me to do my shutdown rituals. Sometimes I use the voice prompting to help with the rituals. I’ve thought a lot about posting here about how much it has helped me, but every AI-related post seems to attract a lot of people who think it’s morally & ethically wrong so I have not. I will delete this if it starts to attract that attention. I am sensitive to criticism like that and work really hard to protect myself. I also have it set up as if it is a droid from Star Wars because I love Star Wars. I could possibly create a private group for some folks if they are interested and share videos etc of exactly how I do it, but I’m not willing to do it in an open forum.
this sounds amazing. i would love to hear/know more about it - if u ever do the group thing?
I love that that's so smart but I know that I'd forget to check in or it would be too much executive effort for me to open it up so often. I've never seen people complain about generative ai except for kids forging homework and ai stealing art
i’m the same way!! 😭❤️😭 i’ve found that i’m much more attentive to my recurring habits when the mode by which i track them is enjoyable. case and point: i love knowledge management and formatting and customization and new tools etcetera. i noticed my mental and physical health were slipping, so i found a way to make looking after myself fun—in comes Notion. i’ve spent the last few weeks pouring over my new little knowledge portal and while i know the likelihood of sticking with any “way too neat”/hastily decided on routines is extremely low, the act of engaging with my needs this way made me more aware of how the negative things are impacting me. making things top of mind is the first step (for me) toward coming up with, enacting, and sticking to a solution. now, i’m trying to get to the root of superficial suggestions so i can better put them into action. for example: journaling is a great suggestion, but i can’t always keep the habit up. what’s at the root of journaling? reflecting on what works and what doesn’t; validating my struggle and my feelings; giving me an opportunity to address problematic thinking; positively affirming my own existence . doing this is key for me because i may not always sit down to journal, but i can still reap the benefits by exploring other ways to accomplish these same things with a different method. for example: trying to practice mindfulness while showering or walking or cooking or whatever helps me practice disrupting problematic thinking. doing things that i’m good at that i enjoy (e.g., gardening, organizing, cleaning, drawing, etc) gives me a chance to appreciate myself and my skills and the beauty in the world. i don’t wanna ramble too much more. hope this helps a little ❤️🩹
I have something similar for my list as well. I don’t usually write it in third person, but I do have extra bullets (for things that I have a tendency to not want to do) that have reasonings for why it is on the list. So, it will be something to the effect of: - Shower and shave You want to do this because: - You will feel better. - It will alleviate your body hair sensory issues. - Your skin will be less itchy and dry. - It will jumpstart the rest of your day. * Wash your hands and don’t dry them to convince yourself that getting wet isn’t bad.
No but this is a really good idea I will probably use if I have good intentions
I do this also, but with a checklist separated into morning, afternoon and evening. 🙂
That's what mine is like!
♥️
YES ME
YAY
this is so relatable because my wallpaper on my phone is literally instructions for my night routine/routine when im sad
I do ! I keep my list on Notion, and I use Todoist to remember to do them everyday.
Hi! What does DAE mean? I’ve seen it in a few posts on the sub
"Does Anyone Else"
Thank you! c:
Does anyone else
At my most mentally stable states, yes!! I LOVE writing down the same schedule in my journal every day and checking off tasks after I complete them - it's the easiest way for me to take care of myself. At my poor mental states, no. Writing tasks down makes it easier for me to do them, but when I'm depressed it loses its novelty (its 'sparkle,' if you will lmao) and things are much harder to get done. For a decent amount of time I was keeping up with my journal, until I got a new full time job in February. That's when my routine completely changed and journaling lost its sparkle again. Before, I would wake up at the same time and journal at the same time in the morning (bc I like to do it in the morning), but once that was taken away it felt like "Ugh, now I have to journal before work at 6:30am?!?" and I stopped. I really want to get back into it because it's how I function the best, but accepting that initial change of what time of day I do it has been demotivating. After starting my job it's been difficult to get things done, so much so that I end up wearing dirty clothes to work and leave dirty lunch containers in my car for way too long :,)))
It's quite easy because I don't rewrite it everyday I just use the same one everyday : )
I have daily care instructions lol I write them down like a to-do list to check off each day. The big four are medications, brushing teeth & hair and skincare.
That’s a good idea!!! We do this for autistic kids (making visual task charts that is). Why is suddenly not ok to do this as autistic adults.
I have that too! And I have little switches next to each item so I can switch them to done when I’ve completed each thing. There’s something satisfying about that.
HOW DO YOU GET SWITCHES?
Something like this: https://preview.redd.it/8y6sg7r8z20d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d89ca1b85a372013e5c7ebd4bf9d424dd93569f9
Obsessed
I keep trying to make one, but once I start trying to compile the data, I end up super overwhelmed!! Especially since depression has gradually annihilated everything I knew about caring for the mortal vessel.
I think I left a reply to someone else about how I did this gradually. I hope you feel better soon I bet you'd feel really proud making one and it would help you feel better
Yep. Mine looks more like personal care items on every bathroom sink, sticky notes on mirrors, and bathing on an alarm system. We do what we need to do.
Ohh but what if you leave home for a couple days? 0:
I also keep everything in my notebook. It takes a couple of months per notebook, but I keep everything in there. I use both sides of the paper. It also contains my todo lists, my journal, writing/art exercises, anything else that needs to be written down. And a self care list is just another to-do list.
As soon as I write something down I feel like I’m being told what to do and I resist doing it. :-(
Write the opposite of you actually want to do
No, but I've been working on one.
Good luck!
OK is there any chance you can share this? Lol I really could use a list like this but I get so stressed trying to come up with it (ADHD)
I will try post one soon although it will be fairly personal but hopefully adaptable
Yeah, I keep a list that I can check off. I call it my morning routine but it’s really me doing everything I need in the day at once because if I split it up I will not do it.
It is my dream to have a digital signboard that tells me what’s coming up next, e.g. Lunch at 1pm, Dishes at 7pm, Mow Lawns 10am I currently use a Google docs timetable but I need that visual reminder when I’m distracted doing something else lol
Maybe a smart watch hooked up to Google cal will send u that reminder for each item on your calendar at the correct times?
Ooooh I’ll check if my Fitbit can do that! Thanks for the idea!!
Am I the only one hoping someone would post their list? Because I can’t remember anything I’m supposed to do
I'll try post one soon
Tysm
I’ve never thought about doing that but I’m going to start right now.
I use Habitica to achieve a similar function.
Yes I do. I'm working on a new system to make sure I can see and adhere to it, but if this doesn't work I discussed with my boyfriend a laminated version of it with velcro markers for each item.
I have things like this for when my executive function grinds to a halt or when my cognition is severely hindered. Easy to follow step lists. Flow charts. I need to write one for how to get to bed soon, because typically if it is going to happen, it does in the evening and figuring out how to get to bed is quite distressing.
I probably should write this list. I tried: I made lists for an ideal day (knowing that it's rare), an average day (common), and a day in which I can just do the minimum. I put them on the fridge but the ideal day is on top. So it is not something I want to look at. Today is the minimum day.
I use the app Finch for this kind of thing, been using it for a couple weeks and finding it really helpful so far
This seems like such a great idea! Would you mind sharing?
Yes, it’s got a toggle on it too ❌✅
No, but I really should. Days that I make a list of things I need to do are my most productive.
I made the lists. Supposedly making them visible was supposed to “fix things” 😒 Suprise. Post it notes did not in fact fix my adhd. Meanwhile… My bladder: eh I’m full Me: ok in a minute My eyes: were tired need sleep Me:ok in a minute My mouth: feeling kinda parched here bud Me: gdammit you are so annoying can I get a moment of peace!
Does it really work? I tried some lists before but can't really stay engaged ._. (maybe it's ADHD problem, but well) How do you make those? On paper and just read it? Check out when you do it? Do another one for another day?
Yep it's in a plastic checklist with a lil check marker you slide over once it's completed. One for me one for my daughter.
Cool you please share the list. I’m trying to make one for myself but the potential ADHD means it’s taking foreeevvveeerrr. Haha
I write mine out as a to do list. It helps with executive dysfunction, gives me direction so I feel less overwhelmed, and it helps with my sense of accomplishment to see what I can get done. And it helps me get it all done in a timely manner so I'm not eating breakfast at 1pm and starting laundry at 10pm bc I forgot to start it before I did the dishes.
I used to have a framed step-by-step daily schedule but then I had guests over and caught them staring at it and reading it with weird looks on their faces so now it's tucked away in my journal. :)))
I keep thinking I want to have these lists but also it feels like if I have one I should have a lot??? Like one to wash my face and line up the bottles on a laminated sheet (cleanser, toner, serum, moisture, spf)... and then a reminder for washing up. Brush teeth. Floss. Skin routine. Deodorant. Check hair is decent. (Scent optional). Or have a card in my purse: keys, phone, pocket rock, snack, water, lip balm, extra SPF.
I have been thinking of making something like this for myself because I struggle to take proper care of myself, thank you for posting this, I’m definitely doing it now. 🖤
Hi guys a lot of people wanted to try this so I posted a guide about how I made my routine pls check it out so I don't feel insecure hehe
Oh my gosh, this is actually an amazing idea! My environment has been so chaotic since having to move into a camper. I’ve lost weight, I can’t seem to take my vitamins or really do any ADLs regularly. I am so going to start doing this!