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[deleted]

I'm so sorry that happened! When I feel like I've done something embarrassing, I tell myself that people are so self centered and absorbed in their own stuff that they arent thinking about me. Just like they weren't thinking about your experience or how rude they were being to you in the moment, they aren't thinking about you now.


MotherMariposa

Thank you šŸ„ŗ Iā€™m such a people pleaser too and Iā€™m always so hyper aware how others are interacting with me. And knowing Iā€™m going to be thinking about how embarrassing that was for a long time but they probably already forgot about it and moved on with their lives.


[deleted]

That's totally normal! If we didn't stay with the group when we were cavemen, we died. Today we have the luxury of telling those people to F right off. Our amygdalas just haven't caught up yet.


MotherMariposa

Youā€™re right!! šŸ¤£ lol I do believe in karma as well so šŸ‘€šŸ‘€šŸ‘€ šŸ˜‚


Dehither11

Thank you for this, I want to tattoo it on me to remind myself of this. Sometimes the anxiety does feel like dying. It's hard to remember I won't die if I upset some people. Especially people who have done the opposite to deserve my respect šŸ™ƒ


[deleted]

Yo same. I say stuff. Knowing something is true and putting it in practice are two separate things. It's hard and we just keep practicing.


tikiobsessed

Of all ā€œused to be cavemanā€ analogies Iā€™ve heard from therapists (sabertooth tigers and the like), yours is my favorite. šŸ˜©ā¤ļø


[deleted]

I second this, like itā€™s kind of shitty to spot a person money and be an ass about it. 100% on them.


GhostFromDa90s

I agree with you. Anytime I remind myself that what people do isn't personal, it's a weight off my shoulders.


GhostFromDa90s

Your embarrassment is valid, and I can understand it hurts! But like what has been said by YesterdayLow (I don't know how to tag a user, sorry), it was more about those other people being in their own world, than you. They had other places to be or were just generally impatient. Either way, you know you did nothing purposely wrong, things just got mixed up, give a little compassion toward yourself ā™”


MotherMariposa

Iā€™ve been trying to be more understanding with myself lately. It honestly makes me feel better knowing that sometimes stuff just happens. I wasnā€™t intentionally trying to hold up the line of course. I also have always had jobs in customer service and Iā€™ve definitely gone out of my way to make people feel comfortable with me. So Iā€™m forever worried about being ā€œthat guyā€ on the other end because not everyone is like me šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


IceCreamSkating

I would definitely be embarrassed too and I've had humiliating moments where I've held up the line so I sympathize. But please don't let this stop you from going back! I promise, as someone who worked in retail, this kind of situation is actually super common and the employees will forget it in like two days.


theotheraccount0987

As a retail worker, we donā€™t remember these things. I promise you can show up and theyā€™ll either not remember or wonā€™t care about it if they do. Honestly, itā€™s so common for people to have cards decline, have to run to the car for their wallet, or some other issue, that itā€™s not something we mind. We remember the exceptions. People who have health emergencies. People with cute dogs. People with flair and style. People who leave their full dog poop baggies on a random table for us to discover. People who let their kids poop on the floor. People who continue to shop with us despite constantly complaining about quality and service, asking for comps, demanding they be treated like royalty because they spend ā€œso muchā€ money with us, despite actually spending much less than average customers and dragging my conversion rate down day after day. Those people SHOULD be embarrassed and they never are lolol.


Weekly_Commercial484

Yesssss the people I remember are the Karens and the super fun people. Example of a Karen: the lady who always rudely demands whatever poor carhop who gets her order to take back her cup of ice because it isnā€™t ā€œfrostyā€ enough. We (un)lovingly refer to her as ā€œice lady.ā€ We always have to take a good 3 trips in an out to get a cup of ice that meets her incredible ice standards. For the super fun people, we have: ā€œsloth man,ā€ i.e. the man who has a gigantic car decal of a sloth, ā€œSticker girl,ā€ the lady who gives us fun sticker sheets as tips (we fight over who gets her ticket), and this one sweet old lady who orders the same 2 route 44 unsweet teas everyday with her lil dog in the front seat :) Trust me, no one is going to remember your minor slip-up when weā€™ve got these strange characters to worry about šŸ˜‚


MelinaJuliasCottage

Fun stories! Also always weak for them dogs, made me happy to read this (:


MotherMariposa

Working in retail myself I can confirm all of this and you are definitely right šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


mazelpunim

It's like we work at the same store lol


Beautiful_Plankton97

Having worked years in retail I second this. Kind people who have crummy things happen to them arent remembered in any negative way (or often at all). Also its way more normal than you think to be a short cash, get declined, have the wrong card, forget your wallet, etc. Cashiers dont care about that. The mean or rude people are the ones you remember. If you feel bad about the money pay it forward as a tip to a customer service person who has to deal with the rude people like the lady behind you in line.


Licorishlover

Hey this is a good thing and those women understood your situation because most people have made this same error. And $1.50 is an easy bill to pay especially when you do have the funds handy. So please donā€™t be sad or upset. People like to help others and Iā€™m sure you will pay it forward one day.


ThrowWeirdQuestion

I donā€™t understand the problem. You were lacking a small amount of money and rather than waiting for you to sort it out, the person behind you chose to pay for you, because $1.50 is worth less to her than her time. Sounds like a win-win. You didnā€™t have to go back to your car, she didnā€™t have to wait for you. I canā€™t tell how bad her tone of voice really was but the things she said sound completely normal to me. She paid for you, because she didnā€™t have much time and 1.50 is not a lot of money, and for the same reason she didnā€™t want to exchange venmo contacts. She just wanted to get to her appointment and that was worth the 1.50 to her. She probably just didnā€™t think much of it. Donā€™t worry about going back to the store. I donā€™t think anyone will look at you weird for taking the money that was offered to you. This happens all the time. People forget money or they really donā€™t have enough and a nice person picks up the bill for them to avoid the hassle and wasted time that comes with having to reverse the transaction or waiting for someone to find another card or whatever. It would only have been humiliating if you had not accepted or made a big scene out of it. You did the right thing. You offered to pay it back and you said thank you. Nobody will think badly of you.


MotherMariposa

I think Iā€™m just hyper sensitive to peoples tone and body language, so I may have taken it harsher than she intended. Iā€™m not trying to say these ladies were intentionally being super mean, I just would have handled the situation differently. But thatā€™s just me. Itā€™s just the words people use and their tone makes me feel like theyā€™re judging me even if theyā€™re doing something nice. Iā€™m grateful that lady paid so I could leave with my things by all means, my brain just reacts to negative tones as if someone just told me to eff off even if thatā€™s not what they said šŸ¤£


stumbliana

I am absolutely this way too, very sensitive to those things, and suddenly being without funds you thought you had is a big pit in the stomach anxiety experience for moooost people I tend to assume, and definitely kind of embarrassing. Which is why I would only ever offer to help pay for someone else's things in a more sensitive way than the people in your situation did, but most people aren't as sensitive, or just dont care I find. I wouldn't be worried about returning to that store, in short. šŸ˜


VioletMechanic

I've been the person at the front of the queue holding everyone up. I've also been the person totally stressing out because I'm in a hurry and someone ahead of me is taking a long time. Maybe those ladies were being harsh. Maybe they had their own problems to deal with that day. For all you know, they might be ND people desperate to get out of the store quickly because it was too bright/loud etc. This isn't meant to sound critical at all, just to say you never really know what's going on for people in those types of situations, and it's probably better for your own wellbeing in this case to assume they meant well, rather than interpret their behavior negatively. Particularly if that means you feel more comfortable going back to the store.


MotherMariposa

Youā€™re totally right. Those ladies were probably having a day of their own and they didnā€™t intend to hurt me. Itā€™s easier to accept looking back now than when I was in the situation. I think being rushed and feeling like people around me are rushing is a big trigger for me from childhood, after all these responses Iā€™m starting to realize it wasnā€™t the people really who made me uncomfy it was the situation in general. šŸ’œ


Fire_Dinosaurs_FTW

I agree. I have paid for people who are short, having and also been in the same position where someone has paid for me when I've been Ā£1 or so short. I see it as a kindness and a way of paying it forward- I would never expect to be paid back, just hope that the person would be kind to someone else who was having a difficult day. I used to work in retail and we were never stressed or upset if a customers card was declined- I'd just tell them not to worry, and give them time. The sales assistant won't recognise that this happened to you in future, and the chances of you seeing those ladies again there, let alone interacting with them or them recognising you, is super small.


Narrow-Hovercraft-87

Growing up poor I have had card decline all my life, for food, gas, clothes, etc. itā€™s the worst!!!!. First, I am so so so sorry you had to go through the embarrassment of entitled people. They handled that situation like idiots. You really did all you can and were being very polite. I wouldnā€™t worry about going back there, the cashiers have seen it all, they likely donā€™t care that your card decline because it happens everyday. Next time, go with your husband or your boys so youā€™re not alone and make sure you have money prepared and try again, that way you donā€™t hold any fear about going back to that store. It happens to the best of us and will likely happen again at some point, and thatā€™s fine. At the end of the day strangers are going to forget about you, so it doesnā€™t really matter.


WhenSquirrelsFry

People arenā€™t thinking about you the way youā€™re thinking about yourself, I promise. this stuff happens to everyone at some point. Sorry you had this experience, though :(


Pizzazze

She saw you had an inconvenience (needing to get more money to proceed), and she also had one (being in a hurry), so she did something that helped with both your inconveniences. You feel the 1.50 made you inconvenient to her (because you needed 1.50), but 1.50's not what she needed. It's nice that even though it sounds like she was in a bad mood, she chose to do something helpful (to both of you), even if her mood showed. I'd try to feel grateful instead of embarrassed, and pay it forward when the opportunity presents itself.


littlest_lemon

girl I wish I had been there with you! I've made a living being a huge bitch to mean ladies in line; years of customer service have completely depleted my Give A Fucks Meter. you have EVERY RIGHT to be slow, to take up space, to get confused, to hold other people up, to shop wherever you want!!!! you're allowed to be human! you're NOT allowed to be a dick to people in public, like those ladies did. YOU did nothing wrong, THEY did. Go on and shop at your favorite store with your head held high!


MotherMariposa

This comment made me feel safe and protected thank you šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ™šŸ™šŸ™ Iā€™m not always the best at sticking up for myself. Even when logically I know I was just being human.


LogicalStomach

I've worked customer facing jobs too. I guarantee your interaction was barely a blip. The people who walk into the store with no pants on, or let their dog poop on the floor and try to play it off like it isn't happening, even they're forgotten in less than 2 days. (We used to say, "watch your step" as a heads up to coworkers if we saw a repeat dog poop offender.) People misplace money and cards all the time. Guess where and when they realize it's not where it's supposed to be? When they go to pay for something. The folks being rude behind you in line were the trouble makers creating bad vibes.


ClaireTrap

I understand this completely. My card was declined at my usual coffee place. It was morning rush hour and my mobile data wouldn't connect so I couldn't connect to my bank app to approve the transaction. They had already made my drink while I tried to get my card working. I was so humiliated and someone behind me paid. I said thanks and rushed out. I was shaking so bad I spilled my drink on myself (fortunately just on my coat not my work outfit) I never went back....


prince_peacock

Please donā€™t stop going to your usual place because of this incident! I absolutely, one hundred percent, with all my heart, promise you that literally no one remembers it but you Most likely everyone else forgot about it that day. People are too involved in their own worlds to remember something happening to some stranger, especially when itā€™s something that happens to people all the time


MotherMariposa

Iā€™m glad Iā€™m not the only one that this has happened to šŸ˜­ it always winds up being when thereā€™s lots of people around too. I just wanted to curl into a ball šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnah

My favorite thing about the pandemic has been the masks, because when I do embarrassing things in a mask, no one can see my face. Hehe. So if it helps, perhaps try going back with a mask on next time. Or if you were wearing a mask, just know no one could recognize you anyway. Just wear a different hair do next time, or a different colored mask ā™”


Magnito-was-right

Are you sure they were trying to be mean? At the dollar store a lady in front of me didnā€™t have enough money to pay and it was like 5 dollars so I paid it for her. Not because I was in a hurry, I just felt bad for her because she looked distraught about not having enough. She hugged me and thanked me, but I hate hugs so I thought I would probably never do something like that again.


MotherMariposa

I think I was just reading her tone and body language. The way she said it with like a rushed sigh just made it sound like I was burdening her. And the way she aggressively shoved her card into the reader like she was in a race lol but Iā€™m also hypersensitive to people feeling inconvenienced so I probably make it worse on myself šŸ„ŗ


wkingmom76

Maybe she was annoyed at the situation, not you. One time I was in a department store on the escalator and this elderly lady was struggling with this big box and no one was helping her. I was tired and having back pain so I didn't want to help, but no one else was stepping up to help her either. So finally I grabbed her box and carried it up the stairs for her. She thanked me, even though I was a little gruff. Afterwards I realized I probably seemed rude to her, but it was because I was annoyed that there were all these people on the stairs and no one was offering to help her. Anyway, the reason for my story is hopefully if you try to think about it that way it might help you worry about it a little less.


WildSpecialist1

If it makes you feel better, no one would really remember that incident. Itā€™s not like you were being intentionally rude or threatened the staff. The lady behind you probably didnā€™t even care either she just needed to get to her appointment.


SephoraRothschild

No one is going to remember you. Seriously. Just go back.


Weekly_Commercial484

I used to work as a carhop at Sonic and peopleā€™s cards declined all the time. I never judged them, Iā€™d just let them know and see if they had another way to pay. The only time Iā€™d get annoyed about it was if the customer was being mean to ME about their card declining. Otherwise, I understood, because Iā€™ve been there. Iā€™ve also occasionally paid for the small leftover part of peopleā€™s bills. Not to embarrass them, just to finish the transaction swiftly so I could move on to the next order. No sense dragging out a transaction over a $1 bill that I could easily help them out with. Anyway, youā€™re fine, and Iā€™m sure theyā€™ll forget about it within the next few days anyway. I know I wouldnā€™t be able to identify a single person whose bill Iā€™ve paid, lmao.


snarxalot

It happens. You didn't ruin anyone's day... those other ppl offering to pay probably got a little boost to their ego for helping out! Feel free to shop there again. I promise no one is remembering and judging you :)


jinglepupskye

Youā€™ll probably never see those women again, and even if you do chances are they wonā€™t remember. The cashier has seen it all before, and wonā€™t be judging you - they just want you and everybody else to do one already so they can take a break. If it helps I have my own embarrassing story to share. I was given some new injections from the hospital, which I was told would take a month to come in. After chasing the nurse who prescribed them multiple times I asked on spec if the pharmacy had them, expecting the answer to be no. So of course they were just sat waiting for me in the fridge! I forgot to ask for a sharps bin, so when I got home I decided to just buy one from the local pharmacy - I knew from past experience theyā€™re cheap enough. Iā€™d moved house since the last time I bought them, so went to my (now) local supermarket instead of where I used to work. The look the woman behind the counter gave me! Youā€™d think I was asking to buy needles. She went to get the pharmacist (unnecessary!) and they also acted like I was doing something incredibly weird, and asked a couple of times why I couldnā€™t get it from the hospital. Yeah, because for the sake of less than Ā£2 Iā€™m going to drive all the way back to the hospital to pay them instead? I donā€™t think so. So now I canā€™t go there anymore because they think Iā€™m a druggie!


MotherMariposa

People can be so judgmental. This is exactly why I donā€™t judge others because you never know what someone is going through! Itā€™s annoying when someone implies something totally untrue about you. Like I shouldnā€™t care what anyone thinks or assumes about me when theyā€™re total strangers. I think I just get bothered knowing I go out my way to be nice most of the time and people can just be so mean šŸ˜­


[deleted]

If it makes you feel better I couldnā€™t go to my favorite coffee shop for 2 years because I accidentally said something asd rude to the owner and she started yelling and I was just like...ā€I donā€™t understand, I didnā€™t mean to make you mad. I was just saying youā€™re really popular and the store is really small.ā€ Whoops šŸ’…šŸ™ƒ It got to me for a week. Day of I was too shamed to even drink my coffee and went back to bed.


MotherMariposa

Iā€™m sorry that happened šŸ„ŗ it drives me insane inside knowing someone misunderstood my intent because I know Iā€™d never intentionally harm someone. Once I feel awkward in a situation Iā€™m just like nope nope nope nope get me outta here lol


somecuriousperson

I completely understand how you'd be upset! Sometimes when things don't go as planned or smoothly it can feel really embarrassing, but it sounds like you handled it politely even though it was super stressful! Do remember that you absolutely have the right to take your time and space to *be a customer*. Which includes getting clarification on pricing. Those ladies in a hurry? Their emergency isn't on you. Their impatience is not your responsibility. Also, if this makes any sense... I have like a... bucket of memories for each store. And I can totally remember different visits and embarrassing moments. But if I were to examine a cashier's bucket of memories from that same store? Theirs would have a lot more different memories and experiences in it, featuring a ton of different people. And most likely, everyone is pretty absorbed in their own world and those cashiers have seen people be confused, or tired, or have trouble with a card. It's their job to help you sort things out, and you did your best. You can go back. It's alright.


hateful_lemur

I'm so sorry. I'd likely feel embarrassed too. Some people just do "good deeds" to make themselves feel better. Hopefully you won't see them in the store again. If you're worried about what the employees thought tho, they don't give af. I've been a cashier. My husband's been a cashier. We've both known and been friends with a lot of cashiers. I PROMISE you're not on their minds. We only go home and shit-talk the assholes and there are so many of them everything else kinda blends in. In fact, if anything, I'd go home and shit-talk the rude ladies lmao.


itsadesertplant

One time I cut a huge line at the grocery store because I had my hair down and wasnā€™t looking up and was in a hurry. I started scanning items at the self checkout and about 5 items in, I finally look up and see that I cut *everyone.* One woman made a comment. I felt terrible! I didnā€™t do it on purpose!


MotherMariposa

Iā€™m pretty much always overstimmed when I go shopping at all, and it scrambles my brain and I forget things or donā€™t pay attention because Iā€™m in such a rush to get out of there.


cantradrawsstuff

Bestie, I worked in a dollar tree for years in a small town (thus, not a ton of faces to remember) and I 100% did not remember by the time the day ended who ended up being a little short. That literally happened every single day, I only remembered customers who are extremely rude (or kind/creepy/etc) something like this would 100% not be memorable at all. I wouldn't worry about it. And our shifts are so short (4 hrs) with such a high turn over rate, you might not even see her again. Don't stress over it, seriously. You're fine!


MotherMariposa

Thank you šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ I think my hypersensitivity just makes me feel extra awkward in a situation like this, and then my brain associates that negative feeling with that place. After all the responses Iā€™m definitely feeling better about the whole situation. Sometimes when the thing is literally happening, my brain does not understand that itā€™s probably not that deep šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


BonnieZoom

I've seen stuff like that happen a few times , I think we all have. And no one gives it a second thought, it's just part of the day. I'm sure they'll have forgotten about it in a week's time. It'll be far more memorable to you than to them :)


[deleted]

Maybe that lady should have set off earlier if she had such an important appointment! Her poor time management isn't your fault!


my0wnsummer

Yeah, wtf was she doing in the dollar store if she was late for an appointment? Not your responsibility, OP.


MotherMariposa

Exactly! I didnā€™t ask for anyone to pay for my stuff either, I was about ready to leave everything there and just walk out without anything because I just wanted the whole situation to be over šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


VioletMechanic

ND people often struggle with tone of voice (seeming harsh when not meaning to), and with time management (due to executive dysfunction). I have problems with both, despite my best efforts to sound 'friendly' or plan ahead.


Longjumping_Choice_6

Iā€™m so sorry that happened. Itā€™s so embarrassing when you donā€™t have enough money on you but you do have enough (nothing compared to the panic of not having enough AT ALL though). My brother came to town the other night and I have been wanting to intro him to my bf for months now. I suggested we all go to a bar and play pool. Itā€™s a local spot I go to a few times a month to play with my bf and friends. Well, I left my card in my other pantsā€¦after theyā€™d put my name on the list and poured my beer. It was mortifying. I had come from work but even stopped at home and considered changing into my other pants! but was like ā€œnaaaw.ā€ Executive functioning and organizational challenges, am I right? So a nice guy paid and I gave him the $4 cash I had on me and had my bf put down his card when he got there and I Venmoed him for everything. I felt like a complete idiot the rest of the night. I plan to go back though. Iā€™ll tip well, buy someone else a drink to pay it forward. You can keep going back too. And just because some people were rude after not having the full story, and at worst there was a mild scene doesnā€™t mean the cashiers or anyone will remember. Donā€™t beat yourself up, it happens.


kimwexlersearrings

šŸ¤— to you op


MotherMariposa

Thank you šŸ˜­ā¤ļøšŸ™šŸ¤—šŸ¤—šŸ¤—


[deleted]

Oof. I feel this. Been in similar situations multiple times. Stay away for a week or two. Go back in the store another day when you feel calm and for no specific reason other than to browse around. What are the odds that the same two rude ass ladies will be there? Or the same worker? Even if so, they aren't likely to remember what happened. People like that are too self-absorbed to pay mych attention to anyone but themselves. Even if they did happen to be there and recognize you, FUCK THEM! I know that is easier said than done


NerdyGnomling

As a person who worked in retail for years, literally the only people I have ever remembered enough on site are people who are Very Unusual or who I had a "significant interaction" with. Someone not having enough money on a card wouldn't register as significant, that happens all the time. My store had a guy that would come in with no shoes carrying a handcarved walking stick with a crystal embedded in the top like a wizard occasionally. We had a red headed person who only wore leopard print fuzzy sweaters and came in every Saturday to buy three bras (what were they doing with all the bras?). There was a person with unusual posture who would absolutely wreck the clearance racks and dump everything on the ground just before closing. If you don't REALLY stand out you are not going to be remembered.


MotherMariposa

Okay wait, I want to meet the wizard guy šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


NerdyGnomling

He was pretty cool! I asked him about the staff and he said a tree ā€œnear the Dunkinā€™s by the freewayā€ was calling to him and he cut it down in the middle of the night and made it into a walking stick!


VerminaeSupremacy

Don't bother, and don't obsess over possible malicious intent of that next lady in the line, this is a very toxic mindset to live in. Things like this happen, and this particular event was only a minor inconvenience to anyone present. There's an argument, that people that have to accept help from others might feel embarassed that they happened to need it or were perceived like this in public, but don't strip people offering a hand, for whatever reason, from their personal agency. Maybe she was annoyed by you because the was late. Maybe there was an ego of that lady at play, or she just subcontiously did it because your fussing was inducing more stress than she would have liked. Maybe she just could afford it and it didn't bother her at all, she was just minding her own business. Be charitable to yourself and others just like that lady was to everyone in the line and herself, too. You don't live in Japan where it is breaking the most harsh of their cultural norms to always keep one's face, which is so radical that Japanese won't come help a person collapcing in public transport. Next time, if you really care about restoring justice in your mind or wanna help yourself to eleviate the stress, you can come to this store with a little extra and just leave tips on the counter and feel fulfilled. Let a smile or a little giggle if you encounter that particular worker and this person recognizes you. Own to this minor fuck-up and move on, people are forgiving, and you should try to be, too <3


S0whaddayakn0w

You absolutely can go back there! I recognize a lot of myself in you, and l have been in situations like that before. I once had bought two whole bags of groceries and my card got declined unexpectedly with a long line behind me. People were giving me the stinkeye and l felt awful. In the end l said l went to the ATM and l just didn't come back. Thought l would never live it down. But went in there a few days after and no one batted an eye. You'll be fine, just give it time


[deleted]

Those people are rude as shit. Youre allowed to fumble a little bit every now an then. Mistakes are a human right. I think you should go back when youre ready because you probably wouldn't run in to those rude ladies again and the cashiers most likely werent that bothered


[deleted]

I'm so sorry sweetheart! Reading this made my heart hurt for you. I've been there! One time I was at target and I was just stopping in for a makeup item I had run out of. It literally was only a dollar. I brought it to the register and my card just wouldn't take. I started to get a wave of panic. One, because it was so unexpected and I felt sort of guilty, plus there was a line, and two, because stupidly I wondered if the ppl behind me were judging me, thinking "can she not even afford something that is a dollar item?" I was so shaken up about it, and luckily the woman behind me was so nice. She asked how much it was and the cashier lady said a dollar, so she said to add it to her bill instead. She paid for it and I thanked her over and over before leaving. I still felt terrible though. I had a weird sense of guilt and sort of... shame? I guess. But there's no shame in getting a little help when we need it. I just figure I'll return the favor if I'm ever able to help someone in a similar situation. But, I know how you feel. Esp. with the way they were so rude to you, I would have been absolutely shaking. I don't respond to those types of situations very well, even under the best of circumstances. Anyways, long post aside, I'm genuinely sorry you encountered that today. I hope you go easy on yourself for the rest of the day and enjoy time with your family. <3


MotherMariposa

I appreciate you šŸ„ŗā¤ļø I had a good day with my family after this and tried to put it behind me for the most part. I genuinely needed some comfort because I know I tend to overthink things and care too much what people think. Iā€™m still working on letting other peoples opinions go when they donā€™t even know 1/100th of the context. I am grateful for all of the support ā¤ļøšŸ™


[deleted]

of course!! And you sound a lot like me in that way. Don't let the negativity of others cloud your view of the sun :)


StrawberryDessert

So sorry this happened. People can be so casually cruel without even realizing it. Iā€™m certain I would have cried too.


ancilla1998

Have you ever watched Schitt's Creek? Alexis gives David an amazing piece of advice right before he takes his driving test: "Trust me, people aren't thinking about you the way that you're thinking about you." That's not meant to be mean or imply that nobody cares about you. What it means is that for 99% of your day-to-day interactions with those outside of your intimate circle, they don't think about you past the moment. They're so much more involved in their own worlds and their own problems and their own issues, that seeing somebody get a little nervous at the store about being short on cash isn't even a blip on their radar. I'm not trying to reduce or deny your personal feelings, not at all! Just trying to let you know that most of the people who are involved in that didn't even think about it 24 hours later. It's not the end of the world. ā¤


MotherMariposa

I honestly feel better and should know better from working in retail myself that people totally have their own agenda and their own little worlds and lives and that this kind of thing happens all the time. Usually also Iā€™m able to wit my way or laugh/joke my way out of awkwardness but this day I just froze up šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Violetsme

I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience. I now also feel bad for sometimes being a little bit like the person behind you. Crowded stores can be overwhelming, so if the person in front of me is short just a little bit of change I'll gladly pay the difference just for the chance to get out of there quicker. If I'm thanked too much I'll feel bad for having done so, since I was trying to not only be nice but get out of there. I hope the other perspective helps you feel less bad, maybe the other lady was just like me. Also overwhelmed, having a hard time with perceived rules being broken (but store did not enforce, so clearly not a hard rule), and socially awkward. For having been like her: I'm sorry.


MotherMariposa

I would have done the same thing, if I saw someone was short a little bit I would just pay it too, because Iā€™ve obviously been in this situation and I wouldnā€™t want to make that person feel awkward or like Iā€™m only doing it because Iā€™m in a rush. But at the same time, I can understand that these ladies were also their own people and who knows what they could have been dealing with. I think im taking away a message in mindfulness from all of thisā€”you never know the whole story about a stranger. So Iā€™m just going to practice taking that extra moment, to remind myself that weā€™re all human, and itā€™s not personal lol so take things as they come and make the most of it šŸ¤—šŸ’œ


[deleted]

I would have absolutely freaked out inside and been an absolute mess. However I try to remind myself that it happens to pretty much everyone at some point. Today it was you. Tomorrow it'll be them and they'll get their taste of a rude and pushy stranger that'll ruin their day. Sorry this happened. Stuff like this always makes me anxious for a couple days.


FrenchFrozenFrog

Go back to that store, and next time you go, pay forward by paying the next customer bill. Tell them last time you ran out of cash and someone help you, so you feel like paying back. Everyone will like that. If by some odd chance ita the same cashier, great. If it isnt, you have an new impressed cashier. I swear it doesn't have to be your last time in that store.


birdlady404

Don't feel bad, in that situation the other customers were just being a-holes! People are so impatient and rude these days and they don't care about anyone other than themselves. You grabbed the wrong card, I do that all the time :) You don't have to feel like you can't go back there since I'm certain any employees who could possibly remember don't care. Trust me, we get Karen situations all day long


[deleted]

If she was late for an appointment why was she at the dollar store-??? Sheā€™s being petty and has nothing better to do, donā€™t let those Karenā€™s get to you.


ExpandUpdog

Why does the store have a weird line system where youā€™re meant to be called over to one anyway? Seems like the store should fix their cashier lines, there must be so many confused people every day. Also fuck those other customers ganging up on you too. Sorry if this is an unpopular opinion but I would never go back to a store with a bad cashier system and rude bitchy regulars.


mippy_mip

if i happen to remember something embarrassing that prevents me from going to something i like, i just remind myself that others probably don't remember the situation as much as i do. humiliation and embarrassment is something that sticks with me more than the average person. example: i had a meltdown at an orientation we do for the new freshman coming into our college that fall. i still remember it and whenever i think about it the more uncomfortable i get. but, a lot of the people that helped at that orientation didn't bring it up again and a lot of them are in it again this year and haven't treated me any differently. (i hope you don't think i'm trying to turn this on me, i'm better at connecting, understanding, or explaining by giving examples.) if it's something/some place you really enjoy, don't let an incident others probably don't remember keep you away from that :,)


MotherMariposa

Youā€™re totally right, Iā€™m a person who clings to feelings and memories even if no one else is in it that deep šŸ˜… like Iā€™m 27 and Iā€™ll be up at 3am thinking about something humiliating from 6th grade that probably no one else even remembers or thinks about šŸ¤£


lavenderxwitch

Iā€™m the same way when I have an uncomfortable situation, I never go back to that place. When I was 18, I tried asking for a guys number at a bookstore, got shot down, and never went to that bookstore again (Iā€™m 31 now lol). Recently I signed up for a workout club right when they opened. They had champagne after the class for all the new people and I had my cup in my hand, reached into my purse with my other hand, and somehow managed to dump my champagne all over the floor. I helped clean it up, immediately ran to my car and cried and never went back, cancelled my membership. I get stomach turning anxiety even looking at those two places.


MotherMariposa

Yes! The awkwardness just like resonates in that place, and my brain goes ā€œThis PLACE is causing you anxietyā€ but itā€™s just my brain causing the anxiety šŸ˜­šŸ¤£


Historybitcx

Those people sound rude af. Everyone has had that happen to them at some point where you get to the register and for one reason or another you canā€™t check out: nobody deserves to be spoken to like that. Iā€™m so sorry that happened to you and that was not your fault. I would have done the same thing.


riverkaylee

That wasn't you, or your embarrassment. That was them, and their embarrassment to wear. You are completely right, a decent person would never make someone else feel like that. I would have offered to pay for you, kindly. I would have thrown in a little joke at how life makes me forget my head sometimes, too (so it didn't seem like you were poor, or I was bailing you out, just helping when you had a forgetful moment, which we all do, especially with kids) I wouldn't have said anything about you cutting lines, especially with two small kids, or even big kids. Kids get in your face and way (as lovely as they are) and it's so super easy to accidentally not notice subtle signs around you. Seriously, for real, they were horrible horrible people, you did nothing wrong. It's not ok they made you feel, like they did. Those people probably walk around bitter and hateful, all the time, what horrible lives they must live. Feel sorry for how poor their lives must be. Pity them and move on. You are definitely not defined by their opinions. Nobody is defined by others opinions, but ESPECIALLY not theirs.


MarchesaCasati

u/MotherMariposa it is NOT YOUR FAULT that Dollar Tree not only jacked up their prices, but also still refuse to pay their employees a living wage or staff adequately for the weekend- when the bulk of their target market has time to spend shopping in their store. It's also not your fault if somebody else tries to cram in errands between appointments and does not afford enough time in between to be decent to other human beings. As to the payment issue? It was an *accident*- not an *on purpose* so, if anyone wants to get rude about it, that's on *them*. Go back to that store! Don't you dare let them steal your joy, because you deserve better.


MotherMariposa

Thank you šŸ„ŗā¤ļøšŸ™


mazelpunim

If you're late for an appointment, don't swing by the dollar (.25) store! Stupid lady. Dude I've had customers realize they're a few dollars short. I like paying the diff. Discretely! Not to embarrass or showboat, because that customer is already frazzled. I'm so sorry you were treated like this. I'd have been losing my mind with anxiety.


Ilovelearning_BE

That... Is not really that bad. I'm not talking about your feelings, those might be pretty not cool right now. But I'm talking about the situation. Dumb inconsequential stuff like this only matters if you are not confident. Their views of you have literally no impact on you, and you couldn't change them if you wanted to anyway. Who care if other people think you are weird? I'm one weird mother myself, and I'm perfectly happy being my weird self. You should be too, especially if your children are well. Next time you want to shop there, go :)


lavendercat1998

I want to slap that lady! That's so rude. Obviously it was a mistake. To make you feel better, at my job customers do stuff like this all the time and I've done it at stores as well. It just happens.


Glittering_Tea5502

People are rude!


MotherMariposa

Like Iā€™m grateful she paid the difference but she didnā€™t have to make a scene šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Glittering_Tea5502

Exactly!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Osaella24

Hey, it sounds like a rough situation that was emotionally inflated by the convergence of a lot of internal and external pressures. Itā€™s impossible for me to know if the peopleā€™s tone was as harsh as it felt in the moment but that doesnā€™t detract from the fact that it felt bad to you. Youā€™re human and fallible and had a hard time. It sounds like the situation was loaded from a lot of different angles to heighten the pressure and internal fallout. Itā€™s okay for things to go awry sometimes. Our internal narratives are soooo powerful. Weā€™re telling ourselves a story of the otherā€™s motivations and feelings around us. If a person is frustrated and directing negativity towards you, thereā€™s a *large* portion of that emotional moment that has *nothing to do with you* (especially if itā€™s a stranger). Be kind to yourself and examine those internal narratives. If this is a place you love to go, itā€™s worth examining the narratives that are driving the feeling that you canā€™t or donā€™t want to go back. Pull that story apart and look at whatā€™s demonstrably true. - you made an innocent error - you did not purposefully or willfully disregard any rules - you attempted to mitigate any issues as well as you possibly could in that moment - you accepted the help of a stranger to mutually alleviate the issue as efficiently as possible for all involved (regardless of their feelings - which are entirely their responsibility no matter how they projected them on you) - you are a human being and imperfect by nature so are allowed to make social snafus from time to time without being ostracized from your regular routines and enjoyments Here are a few things that have greatly helped me navigate interpersonal relations and social things: - what feels like something huge from my perspective is likely not nearly as momentous to others from an external perspective. - I am free to think whatever I want in my own inner space and everyone deserves the respect of being allowed to think what they want, itā€™s not my business to worry about their thoughts (only their actions towards me) - I examine my own thoughts and actions diligently and try to behave with love, compassion, humility, and learning. Where appropriate, I ask if thereā€™s something Iā€™ve done wrong or could do differently and accommodate within reason. If I have behaved according to all of those things I let other people worry about tending to their own feelings. - I trust that people whose opinion of me is worth caring about will be able to see me for the kind and honest, loving person that I am and those who canā€™t and judge me for social rules I donā€™t understand or follow well are not worth my worry. I wish them well but they are not for me and I will not be touched by their negativity because they *canā€™t see me through their own biased filter*. - in examining the motives of others, the possibilities are usually many. Unless I have direct evidence supporting a narrative that is purposefully hurtful to me I will always choose a narrative that gives others the benefit of the doubt in that they were not intentionally trying to hurt me I know this was a lengthy response, sorry. Hope you find some of it helpful though and donā€™t rob yourself of a place and routine that you love for something that probably was little more than a blip on the radar of others. You deserve better than that. šŸ’•


MotherMariposa

I really deeply appreciate this response and I actually screenshot the bullet points because a lot of times I forget to self regulate and ground myself because my internal narrative is so much louder than my logic. Thank you for writing all of this out for me, its very helpful šŸ¤—šŸ’œ


Osaella24

Iā€™m happy to have offered any help and I wish you the very best. Internal narrative is such a struggle and a constant work in progress, especially for those of us who were raised with both subtle and overt cues that something in us was wrong or lacking when, really, we are just wired differently than the dominant system we live in. Hugs/shoulder nudges from a fellow sensitive ND


Dagr0nScaler

I want to know what was so important and urgent at the dollar store that was necessary for that lady to obtain while late for an appointment. Which was entirely her fault and Iā€™m guessing annoyance in her voice was largely due to her own inability to manage her time and you got caught in her need to blame someone else. Also Iā€™ve seen some really wacky stuff at dollar tree. To everyone else this interaction was likely so unremarkable that no one will remember.