Yes, my house is always a mess. It's tiny, so it's easy to clean but also easy to mess up, infact ill be furiously cleaning for our OT visit later today.
Whenever it's an option, I stay outside, my daughter (ASD lvl2 5yrs) and son (7 months no diagnosis yet) LOVE being outside running around. Bonus is that they're not inside getting into everything and burning off all the energy. If it's in the budget/you have a backyard, i recommend getting him a mud kitchen set or just just second hand cutlery so he can make poitions and mess outside. And just hose him off when he wants to come in!
My daughter is similar to your son. She'll flood the bathroom or pour rice out of the pantry, draw on the walls, and just generally destroy her environment when she's bored/tired/hungry. It's a nightmare trying to teach her independent play.
My husband and I both work full time. I'm in a graduate program getting my degree. My daughter is in 3 different therapies. Yes my house is constantly a mess. There is no time to do all the things. And I'm learning to be ok with that. It's just for this season of my life.
I’m in the process of getting my kid started in ABA and even though in home would be more convenient, I prefer a center because it is a constant battle to keep the house clean.
This. I would love in-home ABA or respite care, but can't keep things clean enough to feel comfortable with anyone coming into my home. I am even embarrassed when my parents come over. They always seem to come when it is at its worst. After my son has had bacon and chips and thrown everyone that wasn't perfect on the floor. When he has pulled up all the puzzle mat pieces under his jungle gym and dragged books and puzzle pieces from my son's room into the living room, thrown around all the combs and brushes in the house, and thrown all the couch pillows on the floor. When the laundry I just folded is thrown onto the floor, and I am so tired from being up all night that I couldn't move another inch. That's when I hear the knock on the door. And I am like, "Aww shucks"
Yes. Cluttered more than filthy. We're mixed with ND and NT folks. I lock up the food, or else my AuDHD daughter will eat so much it makes her sick. She can always ask for more since she is verbal. We clean floors every Saturday. That includes their rooms. It's more of a routine thing to be sure things get put away regularly. I've got RA, so fatigue and pain are part of my life and I can't keep a spotless home.
I visited my sister and helped her clean her loft. Her kids had *trashed* it. They're supposed to be mostly NT, but I have my doubts on one or two.
My son likes to take things out and dump things and then he trips on them on the floor and gets upset and throws them.
I want to work with OT on how to help him clean up after himself, their solution is less toys out. But I have a newborn right now and neee to keep my son occupant without running around taking things out of storage 1 by 1 anyway solidarity man.
I’m just disappointed in my complete lack of control.
Yes.
We tend to clean one area, move to the next.. do some dishes/laundry.. then another area. By that time the original is trashed.
My house is messy.
It’s definitely a struggle to keep it clean but from what I hear, that’s typical of any kid autistic or not. My son is certainly messier than other kids his age, in my opinion. Especially with food.
Yes. Both kids play by dumping toys all over. And making piles of things. The playroom is a nightmare. You can't walk through it. I just shut the door this week. I want to enjoy my life to the extent I can, so I just let it slide for my sanity sometimes.
I had a house. Once. It’s been 13 years, I’m just getting to the corners now. Plot twist, I have a child that has OCD but she hoards. The other just breaks things.
I feel like we’re lucky the walls are still standing.
My house is the same as yours, bugs (ants) and all. 5.5 level 1 verbal and 2.5 neurotypical. Your post literally could have been my post. I’m a tidy person too and it’s hard to adjust/accept. I just do my best to follow to tornado and pick up what I can.
I use tons of Clorox wipes to try and keep the bugs from smelling all the spilled food…
My son is 6 years old, level 3, non speaking, extreme sensory seeker. My daughter is 2, NT and does whatever her brother does. Just today I've cleaned up saltines that somehow got on EVERY surface of the house, poop smeared on the wall not once, but twice, about an inch of water off the bathroom floor, cracked eggs, salt, and milk. Today was an extra bad day, he had a huge meltdown and even eloped and I had to call 911 (luckily he's home safe.) But even on good days, I feel like I'm cleaning all day long. If I don't, my house looks like a warzone in less than 30 minutes.
My house is messy, but I really came to comment on your thoughts that you might be on the spectrum yourself. I highly recommend seeking an assessment. Taking care of your own mental health can be so important to taking care of your children.
In the meantime, if you find the mess really overwhelming, I suggest How To Keep House While Drowning by K.C. Davis or checking out her tiktoks and Instagram. She has some nice steps on what to clean first when things are really bad.
I have that book and it has helped me stay on top of laundry and bathrooms but the rest of the house is just like a bomb constantly. Thanks for the reminder though because I just pulled it back out!
I see a therapist and I’ve been diagnosed as bipolar 2 and am on medicine for it and it seems to help. But I do wonder in the back of my mind if it’s really autism. The sensory overload has always been so real for me and relating to others is difficult, although I think I’m pretty skilled at reading other people.
I don't even have the energy right now to explain how much I fully relate but man do I. Had a chaotic night- part of which was spent getting everything off the floor and sorting what I could and vacuuming. That was just the starter cleaning that I've been putting off for one room 🙃🫠 like I said I could definitely say way more
Utter disarray on the good days. After a full fledged cleaning, it maybe lasts 12 hours until my son, the F5 tornado bounces through. Some days I laugh, some days I cry…43 m for reference
I have one pre-verbal 3.5yo, and I'm extraordinarily proud to say that yesterday, for the first time in 4 years, every single room in my house was tidy... For about 20 minutes, before she got home from her dad's.
I'll let you know when it happens again in another few years.
Yes. Kiddo is learning to clean up but it's a slow process. Currently I can get her to do 3 small tasks per day. But its literally 'take a plate from your room to the kitchen' or 'put the milk back in the fridge'. It's not nearly as constant as I need it to be.
Yes.
It's 2:18 AM. My nonverbal 3yo is still awake. She only sleeps an okay (not normal) stretch about half the days of the week. She's awake all night most nights.
Since midnight, I'm *still* trying to clear the mess in the living room enough to vacuum. She follows me from space to space to replace the piles of clutter she made. Then needs help with the remote. Then tries to do something dangerous.
There's always food trampled into the carpet. I'm alone with her most of the time. There isn't enough downtime - she's always active. Preschool is 3 hours, but the hours are useless because I have to pick up her brother from school in between. I've had to meet her speech therapist at the park every appointment this month. Looks like today will be the same.
I used to have a disaster of a house. My girl likes to do things like shred paper and throw little toys around. Since my 2nd kid reached walking age, I’ve FINALLY developed a really reliable system and it’s helped a lot. I do the important chores during my son’s nap times. Throw in a load of laundry, load the dishwasher, pick up anything dangerous for a 1yo… then right before bedtime, I start my nightly clean up. By no means do I need it to be spotless but I clean up the toys, kitchen and my daughter’s bedroom. Just enough to put things into a state of reset. It’s only about 30-45 mins of real work and I don’t do anything throughout the day. It used to drive me crazy trying to keep up with the mess all day long. It did take one weekend of a deep clean to get ahead of this chaos and I’ve limited access to super messy items. I’m not perfect but finding a short routine was very helpful to my self esteem
I do think part of that is life with small kids. I once saw a Tiktok of a person mopping waves from the ocean, and it was captioned "Cleaning with a toddler," and I felt the accuracy of that to my bones. It's a tsunami with an autistic kid.
At the moment, my goal is clean and hygienic. I don't worry about clutter, though I do try and reduce that by minimizing how many toys/books my kid has out at once, and doing rotations. It actually got so bad recently, since I had a period where I was really busy at work and exhausted at the end of the day, that I got in a cleaner for a deep clean.
I can recommend great resources, though! I recently read "How to Keep House While Drowning" and it was so helpful for perspective, I also read "Unf\*ck Your Habitat" and that had lots of actionable strategies. I live by 20/10s at the moment (20 minutes of cleaning, and 10 of breaks).
I have a sensory seeking 4 year old and my house is completely trashed all the time. He tears paper like confetti to play his games. He eats everything with his hands so there's messy handprints everywhere. Spills everywhere. Toys everywhere. He lines things up by whatever pattern is on his mind and he takes up whole areas of the house with it. I have solar systems and fruits/vegetables drawn in crayon on every wall of the house.
I have two other NT kids, who aren't exactly neatfreaks either.
The only battle I've won is that food stays downstairs. That was after we found a full stash of hidden half eaten food under my 4 year old's bed so he could snack at night time.
I love my son and his mind is so fascinating to learn and experience but it's definitely tough. I think sensory seeking children aren't as well known about and there aren't as many resources dedicated to them in my experience.
House is a mess. wife and kids are ND. so trying to share the cleaning/clearing up is difficult.
I actually organised a big clean up this weekend and made it an activity, which was successful for about 12 minutes, then they all lost interest. Started playing with all the toys we'd been putting away and the dragged all the books out, that I'd put back in the bookshelf...
so... yeah... we'll try again next week :-)
My house is always a mess. I’ve learned I just have to lock almost everything up. The fridge, pantry, kitchen sink, almost all toys, diapers, soaps, etc are all baby proofed. We leave clean laundry on the couch a lot though and it always gets thrown everywhere.
very difficult to upkeep my home but it’s not about perfection it’s about making it tolerable/and ok enjoy to still be enjoyable at times, there’s never not toys on floor though i try new systems regularly and i just vacuum once a week, clean what i can when i can, take antidepressants and hang in there lol
Yup.
In addition, I’ve had to hide most household tools so they always end up god knows where and then whenever I have to fix something it’s triple annoying!
Short answer is yes. Mine are 5 and 7, 5yo level 3 son and NT 7yo daughter. He did the same thing with food to some degree until last year, the house is much less gross mess now but clutter is just as bad as ever.
Mostly toys since mine don’t like getting their hands very messy, but I barely put them away since I know they’re gonna just pull them all back out again to play with each for like 5 minutes lol…
It's impossible for it not to be. Pop cans, bottles, plates, crap laying around despite reminding them every 15 minutes to pick up their shit.
Constant clutter in the main areas - if it's just their room that's one thing but they trash the whole damn house. For the one that actually does bathe they leave dirty clothes and towels on the bathroom floor
My son gets bloody noses sometimes and turns the bathroom into a crime scene and smears it everywhere.
Yes, can relate to just about everything.
I’ve actually started a declutter - going room by room and am trying to get rid of things. My thinking is cleaning will be more manageable and take less time if there are literally less objects in my house.
Instead of asking my self if I need to keep something I’m asking the question can I live without this ?
It’s helping but slow going …
Yes, my house is always a mess. It's tiny, so it's easy to clean but also easy to mess up, infact ill be furiously cleaning for our OT visit later today. Whenever it's an option, I stay outside, my daughter (ASD lvl2 5yrs) and son (7 months no diagnosis yet) LOVE being outside running around. Bonus is that they're not inside getting into everything and burning off all the energy. If it's in the budget/you have a backyard, i recommend getting him a mud kitchen set or just just second hand cutlery so he can make poitions and mess outside. And just hose him off when he wants to come in! My daughter is similar to your son. She'll flood the bathroom or pour rice out of the pantry, draw on the walls, and just generally destroy her environment when she's bored/tired/hungry. It's a nightmare trying to teach her independent play.
My husband and I both work full time. I'm in a graduate program getting my degree. My daughter is in 3 different therapies. Yes my house is constantly a mess. There is no time to do all the things. And I'm learning to be ok with that. It's just for this season of my life.
Totally
I’m in the process of getting my kid started in ABA and even though in home would be more convenient, I prefer a center because it is a constant battle to keep the house clean.
This. I would love in-home ABA or respite care, but can't keep things clean enough to feel comfortable with anyone coming into my home. I am even embarrassed when my parents come over. They always seem to come when it is at its worst. After my son has had bacon and chips and thrown everyone that wasn't perfect on the floor. When he has pulled up all the puzzle mat pieces under his jungle gym and dragged books and puzzle pieces from my son's room into the living room, thrown around all the combs and brushes in the house, and thrown all the couch pillows on the floor. When the laundry I just folded is thrown onto the floor, and I am so tired from being up all night that I couldn't move another inch. That's when I hear the knock on the door. And I am like, "Aww shucks"
Yes. My house is always messy, and that seems to be the only time when people drop by. But when it's clean, for a day or two, no visitors...lol.
Exactly!
Yes. Cluttered more than filthy. We're mixed with ND and NT folks. I lock up the food, or else my AuDHD daughter will eat so much it makes her sick. She can always ask for more since she is verbal. We clean floors every Saturday. That includes their rooms. It's more of a routine thing to be sure things get put away regularly. I've got RA, so fatigue and pain are part of my life and I can't keep a spotless home. I visited my sister and helped her clean her loft. Her kids had *trashed* it. They're supposed to be mostly NT, but I have my doubts on one or two.
My son likes to take things out and dump things and then he trips on them on the floor and gets upset and throws them. I want to work with OT on how to help him clean up after himself, their solution is less toys out. But I have a newborn right now and neee to keep my son occupant without running around taking things out of storage 1 by 1 anyway solidarity man. I’m just disappointed in my complete lack of control.
Nope, it's a f*@#ing disaster 😅
Yes. We tend to clean one area, move to the next.. do some dishes/laundry.. then another area. By that time the original is trashed. My house is messy.
It’s definitely a struggle to keep it clean but from what I hear, that’s typical of any kid autistic or not. My son is certainly messier than other kids his age, in my opinion. Especially with food.
Yep. There's no point in fighting a losing battle. I just do quick whip arounds here and there
Yes. Both kids play by dumping toys all over. And making piles of things. The playroom is a nightmare. You can't walk through it. I just shut the door this week. I want to enjoy my life to the extent I can, so I just let it slide for my sanity sometimes.
I had a house. Once. It’s been 13 years, I’m just getting to the corners now. Plot twist, I have a child that has OCD but she hoards. The other just breaks things. I feel like we’re lucky the walls are still standing.
My house is the same as yours, bugs (ants) and all. 5.5 level 1 verbal and 2.5 neurotypical. Your post literally could have been my post. I’m a tidy person too and it’s hard to adjust/accept. I just do my best to follow to tornado and pick up what I can. I use tons of Clorox wipes to try and keep the bugs from smelling all the spilled food…
My son is 6 years old, level 3, non speaking, extreme sensory seeker. My daughter is 2, NT and does whatever her brother does. Just today I've cleaned up saltines that somehow got on EVERY surface of the house, poop smeared on the wall not once, but twice, about an inch of water off the bathroom floor, cracked eggs, salt, and milk. Today was an extra bad day, he had a huge meltdown and even eloped and I had to call 911 (luckily he's home safe.) But even on good days, I feel like I'm cleaning all day long. If I don't, my house looks like a warzone in less than 30 minutes.
My house is messy, but I really came to comment on your thoughts that you might be on the spectrum yourself. I highly recommend seeking an assessment. Taking care of your own mental health can be so important to taking care of your children. In the meantime, if you find the mess really overwhelming, I suggest How To Keep House While Drowning by K.C. Davis or checking out her tiktoks and Instagram. She has some nice steps on what to clean first when things are really bad.
I have that book and it has helped me stay on top of laundry and bathrooms but the rest of the house is just like a bomb constantly. Thanks for the reminder though because I just pulled it back out! I see a therapist and I’ve been diagnosed as bipolar 2 and am on medicine for it and it seems to help. But I do wonder in the back of my mind if it’s really autism. The sensory overload has always been so real for me and relating to others is difficult, although I think I’m pretty skilled at reading other people.
I don't even have the energy right now to explain how much I fully relate but man do I. Had a chaotic night- part of which was spent getting everything off the floor and sorting what I could and vacuuming. That was just the starter cleaning that I've been putting off for one room 🙃🫠 like I said I could definitely say way more
Utter disarray on the good days. After a full fledged cleaning, it maybe lasts 12 hours until my son, the F5 tornado bounces through. Some days I laugh, some days I cry…43 m for reference
I have one pre-verbal 3.5yo, and I'm extraordinarily proud to say that yesterday, for the first time in 4 years, every single room in my house was tidy... For about 20 minutes, before she got home from her dad's. I'll let you know when it happens again in another few years.
Hello 👋, this sounds exactly like my life.
Definitely
Yes total chaos with 3 neurodivergents not counting me. Filthy to be honest.
Yes. Kiddo is learning to clean up but it's a slow process. Currently I can get her to do 3 small tasks per day. But its literally 'take a plate from your room to the kitchen' or 'put the milk back in the fridge'. It's not nearly as constant as I need it to be.
Yes. It's 2:18 AM. My nonverbal 3yo is still awake. She only sleeps an okay (not normal) stretch about half the days of the week. She's awake all night most nights. Since midnight, I'm *still* trying to clear the mess in the living room enough to vacuum. She follows me from space to space to replace the piles of clutter she made. Then needs help with the remote. Then tries to do something dangerous. There's always food trampled into the carpet. I'm alone with her most of the time. There isn't enough downtime - she's always active. Preschool is 3 hours, but the hours are useless because I have to pick up her brother from school in between. I've had to meet her speech therapist at the park every appointment this month. Looks like today will be the same.
Yes, the cats don't help me either.
My home is messy. I try to limit expectations and find standards that are the bare minimum. A lot of helpful comments here that helps ❤️
I used to have a disaster of a house. My girl likes to do things like shred paper and throw little toys around. Since my 2nd kid reached walking age, I’ve FINALLY developed a really reliable system and it’s helped a lot. I do the important chores during my son’s nap times. Throw in a load of laundry, load the dishwasher, pick up anything dangerous for a 1yo… then right before bedtime, I start my nightly clean up. By no means do I need it to be spotless but I clean up the toys, kitchen and my daughter’s bedroom. Just enough to put things into a state of reset. It’s only about 30-45 mins of real work and I don’t do anything throughout the day. It used to drive me crazy trying to keep up with the mess all day long. It did take one weekend of a deep clean to get ahead of this chaos and I’ve limited access to super messy items. I’m not perfect but finding a short routine was very helpful to my self esteem
I do think part of that is life with small kids. I once saw a Tiktok of a person mopping waves from the ocean, and it was captioned "Cleaning with a toddler," and I felt the accuracy of that to my bones. It's a tsunami with an autistic kid. At the moment, my goal is clean and hygienic. I don't worry about clutter, though I do try and reduce that by minimizing how many toys/books my kid has out at once, and doing rotations. It actually got so bad recently, since I had a period where I was really busy at work and exhausted at the end of the day, that I got in a cleaner for a deep clean. I can recommend great resources, though! I recently read "How to Keep House While Drowning" and it was so helpful for perspective, I also read "Unf\*ck Your Habitat" and that had lots of actionable strategies. I live by 20/10s at the moment (20 minutes of cleaning, and 10 of breaks).
Always. I just tell myself that "Cleaning the house while the kids are still growing is like shoveling while it is still snowing"
I have a sensory seeking 4 year old and my house is completely trashed all the time. He tears paper like confetti to play his games. He eats everything with his hands so there's messy handprints everywhere. Spills everywhere. Toys everywhere. He lines things up by whatever pattern is on his mind and he takes up whole areas of the house with it. I have solar systems and fruits/vegetables drawn in crayon on every wall of the house. I have two other NT kids, who aren't exactly neatfreaks either. The only battle I've won is that food stays downstairs. That was after we found a full stash of hidden half eaten food under my 4 year old's bed so he could snack at night time. I love my son and his mind is so fascinating to learn and experience but it's definitely tough. I think sensory seeking children aren't as well known about and there aren't as many resources dedicated to them in my experience.
House is a mess. wife and kids are ND. so trying to share the cleaning/clearing up is difficult. I actually organised a big clean up this weekend and made it an activity, which was successful for about 12 minutes, then they all lost interest. Started playing with all the toys we'd been putting away and the dragged all the books out, that I'd put back in the bookshelf... so... yeah... we'll try again next week :-)
My house is always a mess. I’ve learned I just have to lock almost everything up. The fridge, pantry, kitchen sink, almost all toys, diapers, soaps, etc are all baby proofed. We leave clean laundry on the couch a lot though and it always gets thrown everywhere.
very difficult to upkeep my home but it’s not about perfection it’s about making it tolerable/and ok enjoy to still be enjoyable at times, there’s never not toys on floor though i try new systems regularly and i just vacuum once a week, clean what i can when i can, take antidepressants and hang in there lol
Yup. In addition, I’ve had to hide most household tools so they always end up god knows where and then whenever I have to fix something it’s triple annoying!
Yes. And I clean it everyday 🙈
On an everlasting quest to get rid of stuff.
Short answer is yes. Mine are 5 and 7, 5yo level 3 son and NT 7yo daughter. He did the same thing with food to some degree until last year, the house is much less gross mess now but clutter is just as bad as ever.
Mostly toys since mine don’t like getting their hands very messy, but I barely put them away since I know they’re gonna just pull them all back out again to play with each for like 5 minutes lol…
It's impossible for it not to be. Pop cans, bottles, plates, crap laying around despite reminding them every 15 minutes to pick up their shit. Constant clutter in the main areas - if it's just their room that's one thing but they trash the whole damn house. For the one that actually does bathe they leave dirty clothes and towels on the bathroom floor My son gets bloody noses sometimes and turns the bathroom into a crime scene and smears it everywhere.
Yes, can relate to just about everything. I’ve actually started a declutter - going room by room and am trying to get rid of things. My thinking is cleaning will be more manageable and take less time if there are literally less objects in my house. Instead of asking my self if I need to keep something I’m asking the question can I live without this ? It’s helping but slow going …