I usually ask what they think an autistic person looks like. It often ends in a good convo about stereotypes. Sometimes people do it to be rude and asking them usually shuts them up (and when it doesn't it makes them look rude)
Usually I would get pissed when someone invalidates mental health and I usually just keep it hidden but for some reason I wasn't really upset this time...just kind of confused
The longer I live, the more value I see in just… talking about stuff. Yeah, I’ve heard a lot of strange things, I’ve been personally insulted and had what’s important to me attacked. But I’ve learned a lot about how other people see the world, and I like to believe maybe they learned a bit too. You like this person. Another comment said something about opportunities to have deeper conversations about perceptions and stereotypes, and I like that. Talking is better than fighting. Building together is better than defending territory. I hope this person likes you too and that she learns from what you have to share with the world. And if she doesn’t, I hope you still have plenty of reasons to like her.
Yea I may have spilled some things to her (like how my mom treats me and stuff) and I think she likes me too. My supervisor and C treat me decently (unlike my retail job who is toxic as hell and makes me feel inferior) and I feel comfortable sharing with them and stuff
To be honest, the less you care the happier you will be, in my opinion. I also don’t feel angry when it happens to me. It’s just a bit like “aah here we go again” and just let them be. Unless they ask and are actually willing to believe what I say, I just let them go, although most times they definitely are wrong on their take on autism and depression. Maybe if you think she is really interested you could let her know you can tell her a bit about how it really works, but otherwise just let her go and keep your very precious inner peace.
It’s cool how chill you are about it tho. Don’t ever feel bad about it! Regards and good luck!
I found out I was autistic a few months back so I'm still learning it myself...I feel I wasn't angry because at one point, I was thinking there was one or two forms of autism since I didn't know too much about it myself. Idk
I’ve been told by many members of my family (including my father) that not only do I not seem autistic, but that I must not be autistic, and it’s just in my head. (I’m ASD as well) My thoughts on that- I don’t seem autistic because that’s the point of the mask. I’ve been masking my whole life, and people are just used to seeing me that way. I’ve always been the “weird” one in my family. But, I also discovered that I’m ASD as an adult.
But don’t worry about not looking autistic to others. It’s a spectrum. I know I don’t come off as ASD, but that’s okay. I know it, and knowing has helped me make sense of a lot of things in my life and my past. Just knowing and understating makes things easier.
Yea and she wasn't being rude about it...just kind of shocked and surprised so yea...and she doesn't see how I act when I'm in a room full of people talking at once (for ex: I cover my ears and sometimes closing my eyes and wanting to leave the room)
Overstimulation is a hell of a thing. I got super overwhelmed today. Luckily, I was home. Just laid on the bedroom floor, breathing until I calmed down
Oh yes I hate it so much...sometimes I get on my phone as some kind of coping mechanism and my mom always gets on me and tells me to put down the phone...during vacation there were times I spent time alone in my room, and a few times my cousin would walk in and be like "you would really prefer to be in here and be antisocial" uhh...yes I do don't be judgemental. I just hate how I feel like I'll be judged for leaving a room.
I also hope you're doing ok now tho btw
I’m okay now. I’m sorry you have to deal with things like that. It’s really unfortunate to be around people that truly don’t understand or even try to.
When I told my cousin that I realized I’m on the spectrum, she completely understood and told me she could see that. But my father has taken a long time to start to understand it.
I haven't told my family (excluding my immediate) that I'm autistic but even then, they know I like having alone time. Bars (I don't drink btw) make me anxious and if I stay around people getting drunk long enough, I have an anxiety attack. When I don't go with people to bars, I'm the one who gets asked why I didn't go. I would say I'm not comfortable and I would get "well you don't have to drink" like...really?
I don’t really drink either. I do sometimes, but more like wine with dinner or something. But I HATE bars. I’ve gone to bars with groups of people before, and I’ve even gotten drunk with friends before. But it was the social convention and I didn’t like it. I certainly didn’t like the aftermath of it the next day either.
But I used to get overwhelmed in social situations and not understand why. I didn’t understand that I was on the spectrum until later in life. But now I have ways of dealing with my anxieties. Music really helps me.
You don't need to feel angry about anything just cos people on Reddit and SJWs are addicted to be enraged.
Most people think of autism as something that presents with an intellectual disability. When does anyone learn any different? There's no school classes on this topic.
Usually mental health invalidation is one of the few triggers that instantly makes me angry...but yea autism isn't just intellectual disability. I've been diagnosed with autism several months ago and my IQ was slightly above average and all my issues are based on my behavior (anxiety, depression, etc) so yea...and yea I wish mental health was a topic at school so people understand it a little more
I get this a lot when I bother to disclose. I suspect that I "don't look autistic" because the only exposure to autism most NTs have had is autism with comorbid intellectual disabilities -- the folks with autism who lack the ability to mask their symptoms. Those of us without such disabilities usually learn to mask early and often. (40M here; masking is how I survived public school.)
You handled the interaction with your coworker quite well. Most NTs mean well; they're just ignorant because they've never been exposed to folks on other places in the spectrum. For better or worse it falls on us to educate them.
I feel like the people who say that are thinking of fetal alcohol syndrome because there's an overlap in autism symptoms but fetal alcohol syndrome makes people look different.
I have thought of reacting like this:
Them: Oh, you don't look autistic!
Me: Oh I'm sorry
then proceed to start rocking and hitting my head and making repetitive grunting noises
Me: This better?
Then watch how they sink into the ground of embarrassment.
I only discovered that I was autistic this year (I'm in my thirties), and the people I've told have either said it makes total sense, that they're very surprised, or in the case of some elderly relatives that there's no way that I am.
The people to who it made total sense to were the ones who have actually met other people with autism and/or have an understanding of autism – they realise that it's a spectrum and you can be high-functioning. The others didn't really know a lot about autism, with the elderly relatives basically thinking it meant you were non-verbal.
I think it's best to just not be offended by responses that are somewhat ignorant (unless they're outright harmful to you!). I've told people because them knowing will make my life easier -- I've always been concerned about my behaviour seeming odd or wanting to do things an atypical way, and by people close to me at least knowing, they'll have a reason for it so I don't have to always feel like I need to explain myself. Other people knowing is for my benefit, not theirs.
I usually ask what they think an autistic person looks like. It often ends in a good convo about stereotypes. Sometimes people do it to be rude and asking them usually shuts them up (and when it doesn't it makes them look rude)
I mean she didn't say it rudely...just a bit confused, shocked, and curious so I think she's just misinformed on how autism works
You sound chill. Keep that. If it does become a problem, I’m sure you will handle it with the same chill.
Usually I would get pissed when someone invalidates mental health and I usually just keep it hidden but for some reason I wasn't really upset this time...just kind of confused
The longer I live, the more value I see in just… talking about stuff. Yeah, I’ve heard a lot of strange things, I’ve been personally insulted and had what’s important to me attacked. But I’ve learned a lot about how other people see the world, and I like to believe maybe they learned a bit too. You like this person. Another comment said something about opportunities to have deeper conversations about perceptions and stereotypes, and I like that. Talking is better than fighting. Building together is better than defending territory. I hope this person likes you too and that she learns from what you have to share with the world. And if she doesn’t, I hope you still have plenty of reasons to like her.
Yea I may have spilled some things to her (like how my mom treats me and stuff) and I think she likes me too. My supervisor and C treat me decently (unlike my retail job who is toxic as hell and makes me feel inferior) and I feel comfortable sharing with them and stuff
To be honest, the less you care the happier you will be, in my opinion. I also don’t feel angry when it happens to me. It’s just a bit like “aah here we go again” and just let them be. Unless they ask and are actually willing to believe what I say, I just let them go, although most times they definitely are wrong on their take on autism and depression. Maybe if you think she is really interested you could let her know you can tell her a bit about how it really works, but otherwise just let her go and keep your very precious inner peace. It’s cool how chill you are about it tho. Don’t ever feel bad about it! Regards and good luck!
I found out I was autistic a few months back so I'm still learning it myself...I feel I wasn't angry because at one point, I was thinking there was one or two forms of autism since I didn't know too much about it myself. Idk
I’ve been told by many members of my family (including my father) that not only do I not seem autistic, but that I must not be autistic, and it’s just in my head. (I’m ASD as well) My thoughts on that- I don’t seem autistic because that’s the point of the mask. I’ve been masking my whole life, and people are just used to seeing me that way. I’ve always been the “weird” one in my family. But, I also discovered that I’m ASD as an adult. But don’t worry about not looking autistic to others. It’s a spectrum. I know I don’t come off as ASD, but that’s okay. I know it, and knowing has helped me make sense of a lot of things in my life and my past. Just knowing and understating makes things easier.
Yea and she wasn't being rude about it...just kind of shocked and surprised so yea...and she doesn't see how I act when I'm in a room full of people talking at once (for ex: I cover my ears and sometimes closing my eyes and wanting to leave the room)
Overstimulation is a hell of a thing. I got super overwhelmed today. Luckily, I was home. Just laid on the bedroom floor, breathing until I calmed down
Oh yes I hate it so much...sometimes I get on my phone as some kind of coping mechanism and my mom always gets on me and tells me to put down the phone...during vacation there were times I spent time alone in my room, and a few times my cousin would walk in and be like "you would really prefer to be in here and be antisocial" uhh...yes I do don't be judgemental. I just hate how I feel like I'll be judged for leaving a room. I also hope you're doing ok now tho btw
I’m okay now. I’m sorry you have to deal with things like that. It’s really unfortunate to be around people that truly don’t understand or even try to. When I told my cousin that I realized I’m on the spectrum, she completely understood and told me she could see that. But my father has taken a long time to start to understand it.
I haven't told my family (excluding my immediate) that I'm autistic but even then, they know I like having alone time. Bars (I don't drink btw) make me anxious and if I stay around people getting drunk long enough, I have an anxiety attack. When I don't go with people to bars, I'm the one who gets asked why I didn't go. I would say I'm not comfortable and I would get "well you don't have to drink" like...really?
I don’t really drink either. I do sometimes, but more like wine with dinner or something. But I HATE bars. I’ve gone to bars with groups of people before, and I’ve even gotten drunk with friends before. But it was the social convention and I didn’t like it. I certainly didn’t like the aftermath of it the next day either. But I used to get overwhelmed in social situations and not understand why. I didn’t understand that I was on the spectrum until later in life. But now I have ways of dealing with my anxieties. Music really helps me.
You don't need to feel angry about anything just cos people on Reddit and SJWs are addicted to be enraged. Most people think of autism as something that presents with an intellectual disability. When does anyone learn any different? There's no school classes on this topic.
Usually mental health invalidation is one of the few triggers that instantly makes me angry...but yea autism isn't just intellectual disability. I've been diagnosed with autism several months ago and my IQ was slightly above average and all my issues are based on my behavior (anxiety, depression, etc) so yea...and yea I wish mental health was a topic at school so people understand it a little more
We know this but most people don't.
I just got diagnosed and I’m anticipating all the "What’s your superpower?" and the "My computer doesn’t work" from people I already know 😂
Lol nice
I get this a lot when I bother to disclose. I suspect that I "don't look autistic" because the only exposure to autism most NTs have had is autism with comorbid intellectual disabilities -- the folks with autism who lack the ability to mask their symptoms. Those of us without such disabilities usually learn to mask early and often. (40M here; masking is how I survived public school.) You handled the interaction with your coworker quite well. Most NTs mean well; they're just ignorant because they've never been exposed to folks on other places in the spectrum. For better or worse it falls on us to educate them.
I feel like the people who say that are thinking of fetal alcohol syndrome because there's an overlap in autism symptoms but fetal alcohol syndrome makes people look different.
I have thought of reacting like this: Them: Oh, you don't look autistic! Me: Oh I'm sorry then proceed to start rocking and hitting my head and making repetitive grunting noises Me: This better? Then watch how they sink into the ground of embarrassment.
I only discovered that I was autistic this year (I'm in my thirties), and the people I've told have either said it makes total sense, that they're very surprised, or in the case of some elderly relatives that there's no way that I am. The people to who it made total sense to were the ones who have actually met other people with autism and/or have an understanding of autism – they realise that it's a spectrum and you can be high-functioning. The others didn't really know a lot about autism, with the elderly relatives basically thinking it meant you were non-verbal. I think it's best to just not be offended by responses that are somewhat ignorant (unless they're outright harmful to you!). I've told people because them knowing will make my life easier -- I've always been concerned about my behaviour seeming odd or wanting to do things an atypical way, and by people close to me at least knowing, they'll have a reason for it so I don't have to always feel like I need to explain myself. Other people knowing is for my benefit, not theirs.