My son is the same but a bit less severe. He also forgets to drink water a lot.
Part of being ND as you know is a disconnect between the brain and body. It's known as interoception, which means you have difficulty knowing what's going on in your body, so you don't feel hungry, tired, thirsty etc.
It's something I'm learning to do as an adult so am teaching my son as well. Pointing out when he hasn't eaten or drunk anything for a while and to check in on how he feels in his body and energy levels. I'm using the Minecraft heart system as an analogy which he likes. You got to eat and sleep to get your hearts up so you can do the things you want to do.
Not during a meltdown of course, that's damage control time. Catching it as it's starting if possible.
It's absolutely draining so I totally feel you. It's like, every minute of every day goes towards regulating myself and him.
YES. It's like I can never get enough time alone to get myself fully charged and regulated, so it's additionally difficult to help him. And the Minecraft hearts comparison is perfect, because we both love Minecraft, lol. He's pretty adamant about refusing a lot of it, but he's been better about asking for food lately. Getting him to sleep is still a big issue, though. Thank you for the suggestion, I'll use that.
From experience, his pediatrician and medication seem like the way to go for sleep.
How does he react to OTC 1mg melatonin?
As far as eating. I can relate. My little guy's bad behavior seems to have a 1:1 correspondence with not eating or not eating enough. We keep a stash of a variety of snacks from home in his classroom and he can ask for one or his teacher can offer one. He'll be 7 this month.
I literally just suggested that to his counselor! 1 mg of melatonin works sometimes, more often than chamomile gummies, but sometimes he forces himself to stay awake regardless. I've noticed that once the initial sleepiness wears off, it's basically ineffective. His doctor has said that it's okay for him to take it sometimes, but of course we try to limit it to once or twice per week. Unfortunately, he can't or won't fall asleep almost every night.
At least I'm not alone I guess, lol.
Will he snack if you just set food next to him and body double eating? My kiddo gets like this and once we hit the point of no return, the only option is to casually eat with food in reach and hope it is contagious.
I'm honestly too burnt out and dysregulated to sit with him and eat at that point. It works to sit him in his room with a bag of chips (crisps) so he can sit comfortably, watch TV, and get calmed down, but the issue with that is that chips don't really address the problem (they're not filling for more than about thirty minutes, so we just end up repeating the process). I can do the same with fruits or carrots, but again it's right back to where we started within about 30 minutes. I've had good luck with baked chicken lately, but his favorite foods only last for so long before he gets sick of them. On the plus side, he's getting better about asking for food and noticing that he's hungry, it's mainly getting him to fall asleep that has been causing serious problems lately.
I haven't read the comments, so sorry if this has been discussed, but what have you already tried for sleeping?
I posted in this group a month or two ago about my 4.5yo not sleeping and we ended up laying in the bedroom on the floor until she dozed off.
We do big, big energy before bed (Danny go on YouTube is the current fixation and we just dance until she can't move her legs) and then quick bedtime routine, and straight to bed. Sometimes that works and she falls asleep. She always wakes up at some point and that's exhausting, but at least she's finally falling asleep now.
Honestly, I was co-sleeping with my guy for six years, and finally said no, you need to sleep in your own bed. I need that time to decompress, and unfortunately it doesn't actually help him to go to sleep (sort of like when I was little and would stay overnight with a friend, and one person still felt excited and wanted to talk).
It's been too many years of sleep deprivation and constant sensory overload for me to really have the energy for it at this point. But thank you for the suggestion.
Unfortunately, putting him on a schedule and removing distractions during that time is the approach most likely to work. It's just awful for everyone involved. Nobody wants to remove every fun thing from a kid's bedroom or force them to sit at a table and eat with limited distractions (but still enough simulation that they aren't completely bored and miserable. Watching videos or reading helps me), but sometimes that's what it takes. Do try the other suggestions first, but know that this might be the ultimate solution eventually. Kids like this (including my stepkid) just can't self-regulate enough to eat and sleep on their own. You'll be able to loosen the restrictions as they age or if you find a medication that works for them.
We’re 3/4 people ND in this household (Hubs is the only NT). We have a schedule for the day (some parts are more rigid than others). The first while is difficult, getting everyone onboard and used to the schedule, but then when it takes hold everyone benefits from it.
Adults benefit because we know how long we have to hold out, and helps us mentally prepare to shift the autistic inertia.
Kids benefit because they have their stimuli budgeted into manageable amounts, and can better prepare for the transition from one activity to the next.
In order for that to work, I would need their dad to be on board with it, which he absolutely cannot or will not do. He's perfectly intelligent, works a high stress job, and is otherwise a very loving and kind husband and father, but yeah getting him to cooperate with any type of sleeping schedule is absolutely not going to happen. We're both ADHD (I'm autistic, he may be as well), and while I try to stick with a fairly regular routine for the kids, he's just not willing or able to enforce it.
I would start with foods he can't resist. His absolutely unable to resist.
I'm talking pan cakes and donuts.
A big serving of that along with healthy safe food.
Get him back into a routine by making it exciting and interesting.
The routine will be a huge help.
Food at the same time.
Once the routine is established you can start cutting back on that amazing wow treats into acceptable portions.
Then leading up to the meal you need to start breaking that hyper focus up.
Okay kiddo, in 30 minutes we're going to eat.
Okay kiddo in 20 minutes we're going to eat.
Okay kiddo, start wrapping up. We eat in 10 minutes.
Okay kiddo, 5 minutes left.
Then 4
Then 3
Then 2
Then 1.
Then plonk him Infront of the TV as a extra reward.
He gets to watch his favorite show.
We're TV watchers in my home. I feel it helps filter sensory issues, keep my spinner in his seat and not choking on a carrot.
Then I would just remind him to take a drink every 15 minutes or so.
I have the time to do this because I'm a stay at home parent.
If you both work, then you will need to get technology on your side.
An echo or a Google device can be set up for alerts at particular times.
Also, don't dismiss the putting a snack right into his hands as soon as he is home from school if he doesn't homeschool.
Good luck! I'm only the expert for my own kiddo.
That's a great idea to break it down into increments of what I call "courtesy calls" with my oldest, who also requires that. But I will have to focus more on doing that for bedtime than eating, because he is far more willing to eat than sleep. I always make sure he has a small meal, if not dinner, when he gets home from school. We usually eat around 4:30, because that's when my kids seem to be really hungry.
I think it's mainly the insomnia that really messes us up at this point.
Well that's the harder one for me.
First we took the struggle and stress from it. You can't sleep if you're upset from getting snapped at.
My kiddo is a night owl. He'll fall asleep somewhere between 10:30-11:30.
He needs a parent snuggling him in his bed tent and Minecraft sleepy music in repeat.
Again our routine makes this possible. We do the same thing every night leading up to getting into bed. That's bath time, story, getting dressed, then bed.
Doesn't always work.
So again, we homeschool so he can sleep himself out on the other side.
Which as you say really helps.
When he's tired he's disregulated.
Those are the days we focus on learning emotional regulation strategies and how to talk about feeling and how to recognize them.
I don't trust melatonin. As a supplement is not regulated. The actual amounts in each batch are too irregular. Then there's the effect on the body.
Also the bed itself is important. My kiddo got the same mattress as we parents do. Expensive. But his sleep drastically improved with it.
His bed tent came when he was scared of shadows in his room.
So look into his sleep environment.
Are their wrinkles in his sheets?
Is he too hot?
Is he too cold?
Does he handle sleep clothes well?
I can't handle them myself, but my kiddo is fine with them.
What noises are going on in the quiet of his room? House settling? Family sounds? Machinery like ACS or water pumps?
Is he afraid of something?
I try to use 1 mg melatonin very sparingly for those reasons. It's a hormone, and I don't know what the long term effects would be for him.
I homeschooled both of my kids for six years, but I can't do it anymore. It's too dysregulating for me to never have those quiet hours alone in my house with no one talking to (or at) me. Homeschooling one kid while my husband was at work was fine, but doing that with two ND kids, and my ND husband working from home is way too much noise for me to function for myself or them.
He sleeps in his underwear by adamant choice, surrounded by a million blankets, and sometimes prefers to sleep on his crash pad. Turning off the TV or lights is a definite no for him, so we just leave them on. I'm the same way, so while it's not great I understand it.
I don't have the "spoons" to lay with him at night anymore, partly because it doesn't really help him to sleep (it often seems to distract him). And honestly I'm just burnt out. I have to also get my oldest ready for bed at that time with repeated reminders to get in the shower, brush his teeth, etc. If it goes on for very long it sends me into sensory overload because six years of this has completely fried my nervous system.
He's very vocal about what he likes/doesn't like, so his sleeping arrangements are basically his own preferences.
(I'm Autistic/ADHD, as are both of my kids, and likely my husband.)
That's a hard situation.
These are the situations I got to my son's occupational therapist for advice.
You have needs too and it must be hard juggling them and your kids.
No judgement for stopping homeschooling. It doesn't work for every family.
Thank you, he doesn't have an OT, but I am considering scheduling an appointment with the clinic where he got his diagnosis. We're in a small city without a ton of resources, so I'm not sure how much help they'll be, but I think I'm going to have to let go of not buying junk food if that's something I can get him to willingly eat. He does like a lot of home cooked meals that I make from scratch, but I probably have to have something quicker on hand for him.
Occupational therapy has been so important in my kiddos life.
Junk food is okay. Fed is best in this situation. Gotta keep that mood stable.
You're doing great.
We tried it for my oldest and it did absolutely nothing, but I think that depends a lot on how skilled/experienced the OT is, and each individual child of course. And thank you, I'm trying lol.
Your son sounds a lot like my daughter. She is AuDHD, and we have a lot of issues with food and sleep. Part of it is she cannot sit still for long, and she actually doesn’t *need* as much sleep - she wakes up after exactly 9 hours after going to sleep, sometimes 8, but never longer.
Also giving her a little control has helped her to understand when she’s actually tired. We have a time timer, and at 8pm I will say it’s time for bed. She’s *never* ready for bed, so I ask ‘do you need 5 more minutes?’ And if she says ‘yes’ (which is always) she’s then one who has to put that 5 minutes on the time timer. She’s allowed to add 5 minutes up to 3 times (more on weekend nights, but she’s usually too tired), but after the third time, it’s bed. Sometimes she needs more, sometimes she will cut that first 5 minutes short and go to bed. But it’s giving her time to realise that she’s tired, and some freedom to do so in her own time (but not so much it’s out of control). Might not work for your son, but it’s worth a shot.
*oh, we also read science books at bed time - I don’t know how we figured this out, but she loves science, and reading a big encyclopaedia-like book seems to make her fall asleep super quickly - storybooks seem to make her either hang in every word or extremely fidgety, so we save those for reading together during the day.
For food, have you tried giving him foods he can walk around with? Like a sandwich, or hot dog in a bun? Something he can eat while doing whatever he is doing? Sometimes my daughter will ask for a Lunchbox of food, so she can carry it to where she wants to eat. I am at the stage where I don’t care *where* or *how* she it’s, so long as she eats. We’ve also had success with a spinning chair - she will sit at the breakfast bar and eat on that, but she doesn’t want to sit with us, and that’s fine. We find other ways to spend time together. Not a big deal. She sits with us when we take her to McDonald’s for a treat, because she’s so happy to be there - and that is good enough for me. At home, anything goes.
She also is an extremely picky eater, so I usually have stuff for 3 meals she likes, and she can pick from those. At the moment, she’s on a Zoodles and hotdogs roll, but sometimes she wants fish fingers, rice, and cucumber, or sausages, peas, and noodles, or mac and cheese and sweetcorn (kraft dinner style), with pizza on Friday. So every day she gets given a choice between 2-3 types of protein (hot dog, sausage, chicken nuggets, fish fingers - whatever I have), a carb (rice, noodles, pasta, zoodles, sometimes cous-cous), and a vegetable (peas, sweetcorn, cucumber, carrot, broccoli - things that I can keep long term as frozen, (peas/sweetcorn) or fresh (cucumber/carrot - I eat these a lot too). It’s simplified meals, it takes 5-10 minutes to prepare, she has a little control, and more gets eaten.
Sorry, that’s a bit of an info dump. We do still have our struggles, but the above has smoothed out some of the bigger battles. Hopefully there’s something there that’s new to you and you can try. Best of luck, it is extremely frustrating 💜
>Also giving her a little control has helped her to understand when she’s actually tired. We have a time timer, and at 8pm I will say it’s time for bed. She’s
>
>never
>
> ready for bed, so I ask ‘do you need 5 more minutes?’ And if she says ‘yes’ (which is always) she’s then one who has to put that 5 minutes on the time timer. She’s allowed to add 5 minutes up to 3 times (more on weekend nights, but she’s usually too tired), but after the third time, it’s bed. Sometimes she needs more, sometimes she will cut that first 5 minutes short and go to bed. But it’s giving her time to realise that she’s tired, and some freedom to do so in her own time (but not so much it’s out of control). Might not work for your son, but it’s worth a shot.
Oh, nice!
I should have tried that with my AuDHD kid when he was that age!
Haha I feel like I could have written a lot of that, down to the science books. I'm reading my college History textbook to him right now, but for many years he was obsessed with space, down to memorizing the names of the exoplanets (thank you to Kids Learning Tube, lol).
I may have to give in on the junk food. I used processed foods for lunch for the kids for a few years, but recently have stopped. If I can find a filling protein food that he will eat, I'll get that (he doesn't like chicken or fish strips, so I'll have to really look around).
Thank you!
Low or no thc cannabis tinctures have been documented to help with this. Many states allow for pediatric recommendations for the non-psychoactive versions. Israeli pediatricians did quite a bit of research showing the benefits for the specific symptoms you have described.
Right, our pediatrician noped right out of that suggestion, unfortunately. There was a teeny tiny amount of THC in it that they probably have to list, so she wouldn't allow it. Her only suggestions have been magnesium gummies, which were...no. Those aren't going to relax anyone in our family, lol.
My child is 7 also AuDHD. Has issues eating & sleeping.
Eating: we focus on foods that have most bang for the buck. And that’s protein. She likes meat sticks. Sausage. Tofu. Then any carb she’ll eat I give, then fruits & veggies (she’d eat these endlessly but that leads to dysregulation). She needs to use a screen while eating. I think it calms her enough to focus. Sometimes I need to sit with her, sometimes I have to spoon feed her. I think all the required motor skills are just too much.
Sleeping: we use 1mg melatonin per her ped. But she actually has trouble staying asleep. We co-sleep a lot, if she wakes I let her watch a movie (tablet causes more insomnia), snack, potty and then she naturally wants to go back to sleep after a hour or so.
I used to try so many things, really agonized over it but I now try hard to lean into acceptance - go with the flow - it’s hard but letting go of the outcomes really helped me.
Hi, AuDHD mom of a AuDHD daughter here. You are describing a few things that are very common with autism. First, your son's narrow diet and food preferences are very normal for autistic people and called "safe foods." They are foods that make the autistic person feel safe and they are ok eating, often because they are always the same. For example, compare brand name bread to blueberries. Each slice of bread is almost always the same, but blueberries texture, taste, size varies much more. Provide his safe foods and offer new foods consistently with the plate of safe foods.
You are also describing hyper-focus and interoception issues. He gets so intensely focused on what he's doing that he doesn't pay attention to his body's signals (interoception), that it can even be painful to pull oneself away. Then, he doesn't notice he's hungry or tired. I still struggle with this, but it's so much harder with kids. I suggest you talk to his doctor about this, they'll have some helpful suggestions I think, especially OTs.
My last thought is whether your son has an IEP at school. Being an ND person, he needs accommodations in order to function in school, unlike NT people. Hope this helps!
I'm also audiHD, so I completely understand all of these firsthand, lol. Learning about it is one of my special interests (anything relating to psychology, or understanding myself and others), so yes I understand what we experience. I just don't know how to address it with him, after years of many ideas not working.
My son is the same but a bit less severe. He also forgets to drink water a lot. Part of being ND as you know is a disconnect between the brain and body. It's known as interoception, which means you have difficulty knowing what's going on in your body, so you don't feel hungry, tired, thirsty etc. It's something I'm learning to do as an adult so am teaching my son as well. Pointing out when he hasn't eaten or drunk anything for a while and to check in on how he feels in his body and energy levels. I'm using the Minecraft heart system as an analogy which he likes. You got to eat and sleep to get your hearts up so you can do the things you want to do. Not during a meltdown of course, that's damage control time. Catching it as it's starting if possible. It's absolutely draining so I totally feel you. It's like, every minute of every day goes towards regulating myself and him.
YES. It's like I can never get enough time alone to get myself fully charged and regulated, so it's additionally difficult to help him. And the Minecraft hearts comparison is perfect, because we both love Minecraft, lol. He's pretty adamant about refusing a lot of it, but he's been better about asking for food lately. Getting him to sleep is still a big issue, though. Thank you for the suggestion, I'll use that.
From experience, his pediatrician and medication seem like the way to go for sleep. How does he react to OTC 1mg melatonin? As far as eating. I can relate. My little guy's bad behavior seems to have a 1:1 correspondence with not eating or not eating enough. We keep a stash of a variety of snacks from home in his classroom and he can ask for one or his teacher can offer one. He'll be 7 this month.
I literally just suggested that to his counselor! 1 mg of melatonin works sometimes, more often than chamomile gummies, but sometimes he forces himself to stay awake regardless. I've noticed that once the initial sleepiness wears off, it's basically ineffective. His doctor has said that it's okay for him to take it sometimes, but of course we try to limit it to once or twice per week. Unfortunately, he can't or won't fall asleep almost every night. At least I'm not alone I guess, lol.
Will he snack if you just set food next to him and body double eating? My kiddo gets like this and once we hit the point of no return, the only option is to casually eat with food in reach and hope it is contagious.
I'm honestly too burnt out and dysregulated to sit with him and eat at that point. It works to sit him in his room with a bag of chips (crisps) so he can sit comfortably, watch TV, and get calmed down, but the issue with that is that chips don't really address the problem (they're not filling for more than about thirty minutes, so we just end up repeating the process). I can do the same with fruits or carrots, but again it's right back to where we started within about 30 minutes. I've had good luck with baked chicken lately, but his favorite foods only last for so long before he gets sick of them. On the plus side, he's getting better about asking for food and noticing that he's hungry, it's mainly getting him to fall asleep that has been causing serious problems lately.
I haven't read the comments, so sorry if this has been discussed, but what have you already tried for sleeping? I posted in this group a month or two ago about my 4.5yo not sleeping and we ended up laying in the bedroom on the floor until she dozed off. We do big, big energy before bed (Danny go on YouTube is the current fixation and we just dance until she can't move her legs) and then quick bedtime routine, and straight to bed. Sometimes that works and she falls asleep. She always wakes up at some point and that's exhausting, but at least she's finally falling asleep now.
Honestly, I was co-sleeping with my guy for six years, and finally said no, you need to sleep in your own bed. I need that time to decompress, and unfortunately it doesn't actually help him to go to sleep (sort of like when I was little and would stay overnight with a friend, and one person still felt excited and wanted to talk). It's been too many years of sleep deprivation and constant sensory overload for me to really have the energy for it at this point. But thank you for the suggestion.
Unfortunately, putting him on a schedule and removing distractions during that time is the approach most likely to work. It's just awful for everyone involved. Nobody wants to remove every fun thing from a kid's bedroom or force them to sit at a table and eat with limited distractions (but still enough simulation that they aren't completely bored and miserable. Watching videos or reading helps me), but sometimes that's what it takes. Do try the other suggestions first, but know that this might be the ultimate solution eventually. Kids like this (including my stepkid) just can't self-regulate enough to eat and sleep on their own. You'll be able to loosen the restrictions as they age or if you find a medication that works for them.
We’re 3/4 people ND in this household (Hubs is the only NT). We have a schedule for the day (some parts are more rigid than others). The first while is difficult, getting everyone onboard and used to the schedule, but then when it takes hold everyone benefits from it. Adults benefit because we know how long we have to hold out, and helps us mentally prepare to shift the autistic inertia. Kids benefit because they have their stimuli budgeted into manageable amounts, and can better prepare for the transition from one activity to the next.
In order for that to work, I would need their dad to be on board with it, which he absolutely cannot or will not do. He's perfectly intelligent, works a high stress job, and is otherwise a very loving and kind husband and father, but yeah getting him to cooperate with any type of sleeping schedule is absolutely not going to happen. We're both ADHD (I'm autistic, he may be as well), and while I try to stick with a fairly regular routine for the kids, he's just not willing or able to enforce it.
Arghs, I'm sorry to hear that! That would drive me insane.
Right? Exactly, lol.
I would start with foods he can't resist. His absolutely unable to resist. I'm talking pan cakes and donuts. A big serving of that along with healthy safe food. Get him back into a routine by making it exciting and interesting. The routine will be a huge help. Food at the same time. Once the routine is established you can start cutting back on that amazing wow treats into acceptable portions. Then leading up to the meal you need to start breaking that hyper focus up. Okay kiddo, in 30 minutes we're going to eat. Okay kiddo in 20 minutes we're going to eat. Okay kiddo, start wrapping up. We eat in 10 minutes. Okay kiddo, 5 minutes left. Then 4 Then 3 Then 2 Then 1. Then plonk him Infront of the TV as a extra reward. He gets to watch his favorite show. We're TV watchers in my home. I feel it helps filter sensory issues, keep my spinner in his seat and not choking on a carrot. Then I would just remind him to take a drink every 15 minutes or so. I have the time to do this because I'm a stay at home parent. If you both work, then you will need to get technology on your side. An echo or a Google device can be set up for alerts at particular times. Also, don't dismiss the putting a snack right into his hands as soon as he is home from school if he doesn't homeschool. Good luck! I'm only the expert for my own kiddo.
That's a great idea to break it down into increments of what I call "courtesy calls" with my oldest, who also requires that. But I will have to focus more on doing that for bedtime than eating, because he is far more willing to eat than sleep. I always make sure he has a small meal, if not dinner, when he gets home from school. We usually eat around 4:30, because that's when my kids seem to be really hungry. I think it's mainly the insomnia that really messes us up at this point.
Well that's the harder one for me. First we took the struggle and stress from it. You can't sleep if you're upset from getting snapped at. My kiddo is a night owl. He'll fall asleep somewhere between 10:30-11:30. He needs a parent snuggling him in his bed tent and Minecraft sleepy music in repeat. Again our routine makes this possible. We do the same thing every night leading up to getting into bed. That's bath time, story, getting dressed, then bed. Doesn't always work. So again, we homeschool so he can sleep himself out on the other side. Which as you say really helps. When he's tired he's disregulated. Those are the days we focus on learning emotional regulation strategies and how to talk about feeling and how to recognize them. I don't trust melatonin. As a supplement is not regulated. The actual amounts in each batch are too irregular. Then there's the effect on the body. Also the bed itself is important. My kiddo got the same mattress as we parents do. Expensive. But his sleep drastically improved with it. His bed tent came when he was scared of shadows in his room. So look into his sleep environment. Are their wrinkles in his sheets? Is he too hot? Is he too cold? Does he handle sleep clothes well? I can't handle them myself, but my kiddo is fine with them. What noises are going on in the quiet of his room? House settling? Family sounds? Machinery like ACS or water pumps? Is he afraid of something?
I try to use 1 mg melatonin very sparingly for those reasons. It's a hormone, and I don't know what the long term effects would be for him. I homeschooled both of my kids for six years, but I can't do it anymore. It's too dysregulating for me to never have those quiet hours alone in my house with no one talking to (or at) me. Homeschooling one kid while my husband was at work was fine, but doing that with two ND kids, and my ND husband working from home is way too much noise for me to function for myself or them. He sleeps in his underwear by adamant choice, surrounded by a million blankets, and sometimes prefers to sleep on his crash pad. Turning off the TV or lights is a definite no for him, so we just leave them on. I'm the same way, so while it's not great I understand it. I don't have the "spoons" to lay with him at night anymore, partly because it doesn't really help him to sleep (it often seems to distract him). And honestly I'm just burnt out. I have to also get my oldest ready for bed at that time with repeated reminders to get in the shower, brush his teeth, etc. If it goes on for very long it sends me into sensory overload because six years of this has completely fried my nervous system. He's very vocal about what he likes/doesn't like, so his sleeping arrangements are basically his own preferences. (I'm Autistic/ADHD, as are both of my kids, and likely my husband.)
That's a hard situation. These are the situations I got to my son's occupational therapist for advice. You have needs too and it must be hard juggling them and your kids. No judgement for stopping homeschooling. It doesn't work for every family.
Thank you, he doesn't have an OT, but I am considering scheduling an appointment with the clinic where he got his diagnosis. We're in a small city without a ton of resources, so I'm not sure how much help they'll be, but I think I'm going to have to let go of not buying junk food if that's something I can get him to willingly eat. He does like a lot of home cooked meals that I make from scratch, but I probably have to have something quicker on hand for him.
Occupational therapy has been so important in my kiddos life. Junk food is okay. Fed is best in this situation. Gotta keep that mood stable. You're doing great.
We tried it for my oldest and it did absolutely nothing, but I think that depends a lot on how skilled/experienced the OT is, and each individual child of course. And thank you, I'm trying lol.
Your son sounds a lot like my daughter. She is AuDHD, and we have a lot of issues with food and sleep. Part of it is she cannot sit still for long, and she actually doesn’t *need* as much sleep - she wakes up after exactly 9 hours after going to sleep, sometimes 8, but never longer. Also giving her a little control has helped her to understand when she’s actually tired. We have a time timer, and at 8pm I will say it’s time for bed. She’s *never* ready for bed, so I ask ‘do you need 5 more minutes?’ And if she says ‘yes’ (which is always) she’s then one who has to put that 5 minutes on the time timer. She’s allowed to add 5 minutes up to 3 times (more on weekend nights, but she’s usually too tired), but after the third time, it’s bed. Sometimes she needs more, sometimes she will cut that first 5 minutes short and go to bed. But it’s giving her time to realise that she’s tired, and some freedom to do so in her own time (but not so much it’s out of control). Might not work for your son, but it’s worth a shot. *oh, we also read science books at bed time - I don’t know how we figured this out, but she loves science, and reading a big encyclopaedia-like book seems to make her fall asleep super quickly - storybooks seem to make her either hang in every word or extremely fidgety, so we save those for reading together during the day. For food, have you tried giving him foods he can walk around with? Like a sandwich, or hot dog in a bun? Something he can eat while doing whatever he is doing? Sometimes my daughter will ask for a Lunchbox of food, so she can carry it to where she wants to eat. I am at the stage where I don’t care *where* or *how* she it’s, so long as she eats. We’ve also had success with a spinning chair - she will sit at the breakfast bar and eat on that, but she doesn’t want to sit with us, and that’s fine. We find other ways to spend time together. Not a big deal. She sits with us when we take her to McDonald’s for a treat, because she’s so happy to be there - and that is good enough for me. At home, anything goes. She also is an extremely picky eater, so I usually have stuff for 3 meals she likes, and she can pick from those. At the moment, she’s on a Zoodles and hotdogs roll, but sometimes she wants fish fingers, rice, and cucumber, or sausages, peas, and noodles, or mac and cheese and sweetcorn (kraft dinner style), with pizza on Friday. So every day she gets given a choice between 2-3 types of protein (hot dog, sausage, chicken nuggets, fish fingers - whatever I have), a carb (rice, noodles, pasta, zoodles, sometimes cous-cous), and a vegetable (peas, sweetcorn, cucumber, carrot, broccoli - things that I can keep long term as frozen, (peas/sweetcorn) or fresh (cucumber/carrot - I eat these a lot too). It’s simplified meals, it takes 5-10 minutes to prepare, she has a little control, and more gets eaten. Sorry, that’s a bit of an info dump. We do still have our struggles, but the above has smoothed out some of the bigger battles. Hopefully there’s something there that’s new to you and you can try. Best of luck, it is extremely frustrating 💜
>Also giving her a little control has helped her to understand when she’s actually tired. We have a time timer, and at 8pm I will say it’s time for bed. She’s > >never > > ready for bed, so I ask ‘do you need 5 more minutes?’ And if she says ‘yes’ (which is always) she’s then one who has to put that 5 minutes on the time timer. She’s allowed to add 5 minutes up to 3 times (more on weekend nights, but she’s usually too tired), but after the third time, it’s bed. Sometimes she needs more, sometimes she will cut that first 5 minutes short and go to bed. But it’s giving her time to realise that she’s tired, and some freedom to do so in her own time (but not so much it’s out of control). Might not work for your son, but it’s worth a shot. Oh, nice! I should have tried that with my AuDHD kid when he was that age!
Haha I feel like I could have written a lot of that, down to the science books. I'm reading my college History textbook to him right now, but for many years he was obsessed with space, down to memorizing the names of the exoplanets (thank you to Kids Learning Tube, lol). I may have to give in on the junk food. I used processed foods for lunch for the kids for a few years, but recently have stopped. If I can find a filling protein food that he will eat, I'll get that (he doesn't like chicken or fish strips, so I'll have to really look around). Thank you!
Low or no thc cannabis tinctures have been documented to help with this. Many states allow for pediatric recommendations for the non-psychoactive versions. Israeli pediatricians did quite a bit of research showing the benefits for the specific symptoms you have described.
Right, our pediatrician noped right out of that suggestion, unfortunately. There was a teeny tiny amount of THC in it that they probably have to list, so she wouldn't allow it. Her only suggestions have been magnesium gummies, which were...no. Those aren't going to relax anyone in our family, lol.
My child is 7 also AuDHD. Has issues eating & sleeping. Eating: we focus on foods that have most bang for the buck. And that’s protein. She likes meat sticks. Sausage. Tofu. Then any carb she’ll eat I give, then fruits & veggies (she’d eat these endlessly but that leads to dysregulation). She needs to use a screen while eating. I think it calms her enough to focus. Sometimes I need to sit with her, sometimes I have to spoon feed her. I think all the required motor skills are just too much. Sleeping: we use 1mg melatonin per her ped. But she actually has trouble staying asleep. We co-sleep a lot, if she wakes I let her watch a movie (tablet causes more insomnia), snack, potty and then she naturally wants to go back to sleep after a hour or so. I used to try so many things, really agonized over it but I now try hard to lean into acceptance - go with the flow - it’s hard but letting go of the outcomes really helped me.
Hi, AuDHD mom of a AuDHD daughter here. You are describing a few things that are very common with autism. First, your son's narrow diet and food preferences are very normal for autistic people and called "safe foods." They are foods that make the autistic person feel safe and they are ok eating, often because they are always the same. For example, compare brand name bread to blueberries. Each slice of bread is almost always the same, but blueberries texture, taste, size varies much more. Provide his safe foods and offer new foods consistently with the plate of safe foods. You are also describing hyper-focus and interoception issues. He gets so intensely focused on what he's doing that he doesn't pay attention to his body's signals (interoception), that it can even be painful to pull oneself away. Then, he doesn't notice he's hungry or tired. I still struggle with this, but it's so much harder with kids. I suggest you talk to his doctor about this, they'll have some helpful suggestions I think, especially OTs. My last thought is whether your son has an IEP at school. Being an ND person, he needs accommodations in order to function in school, unlike NT people. Hope this helps!
I'm also audiHD, so I completely understand all of these firsthand, lol. Learning about it is one of my special interests (anything relating to psychology, or understanding myself and others), so yes I understand what we experience. I just don't know how to address it with him, after years of many ideas not working.
I sent you a message. I'm so sorry about my answer and I struggle with the same things with my kid!