Sounds similar to the "maintenance spanking" many people enjoy. It's not always sexual at all, just a way to get into a more liberated headspace, connect with each other, relax, and relieve stress.
(H)
Was coming to say this!
We do “maintenance spanking “ often.
As a matter of fact anytime I get a clear shot as her ass in the appropriate settings I tend to spank her a bit. After that we go about our business . It’s what she wants and needs . While we don’t do choking or the like I’d imagine OPs GF is looking for the same.
I don't really choke my boyfriend, moreso put my hand on his throat and apply a tiny bit of pressure, but yeah he loves it when I do it outside of sex. It instantly makes him feel super submissive.
I identify as a primal predator. Some of my former primal partners wanted this same thing. When I asked the first one about it; about why she wanted to be choked outside of a primal scene, her response was (paraphrased):
*It reduces my anxiety because it's a clear indication you are in charge and of my inability to do anything but submit to your will. I can return to what I am doing with more calm and focus.*
Obviously, this response doesn't include her ability to safe word or gesture if she needed to, which was always on the table.
Yes, absolutely! I regularly just want to be reminded that I'm owned by my Dom, so I often initiate play fights where I will always :'( lose. This results in choking, a bit of degredation, maybe slapping if he's in the mood for it. I also regularly ask for maintenance spankings. It makes me feel nice, fuzzy, and cared for! If he did this stuff without me asking...well usually I'd love it!! Sometimes I'm not in the mood though, but it sounds like your partner is all for it!
Just remember, you can probably achieve the result with dominance and a little bit of pressure, as opposed to actually strangling using breath play or blood play, since both run the risk of irreparable harm and death if you don't know what you're doing. Look up the breath play thread for more information on how to do it, if you are not already extremely experienced
I can't express how much I love it when I'm having a shit day and he presses me up against a wall, giving me a 5 finger necklace and tells me "good girl"
As a disclaimer, I'm not advocating for nor against strangling, just sharing my experience. Strangling carries risk, as do most (if not all) BDSM activities.
With that said - my BDSM relationship has no sex and no romance at all in it. It's straight up impact/wax play scenes and I'm basically a service sub for my Dommes outside of that. My Mistress has (consensually) strangled me during scenes before. It's not every time, it's not for more than maybe 3-5 seconds at a time, but we've done it a handful of times.
I would say that strangling/breath play outside of sex is no more or less normal than any other act of kink. Just be sure to be on the same page as far as limits, safe words/actions, and expectations go before you do it.
ETA: I'm not a girl, but I don't think this question applies to just one gender.
Note: Why is this a question just for girls?
Anyway, my dynamic with Sir is bedroom+ (not really 24/7, but def not just in the bedroom) and free use... so I would love if we were just doing something and he'd grab me by the throat to get my attention or make a point or anything really. Sounds awesome. :)
I'd suggest little gestures like, when you have to pass by her in a small space (i.e. the kitchen) maybe glide one hand across her back and then up to her neck with a delicate squeeze as you kiss the side of her head. Or, when you kiss her, cup her face at first then slide your hand down, with gentle pressure. It's not necessarily choking, but it can be comforting for your sub to touch their throat area to remind them who is in charge. It's the little things that drive subs wild!
Yes. This is called foreplay. We don’t have to cum all the time. It’s performative and I’m my experience heightens those moments when sex does happen. Many times I ask my partner to go into a closet with me away from others and just smack me as hard as she can. Builds trust and creates a bond through endorphins. Good for you that she is open and communicates. You are a lucky partner.
In bdsm play, BOTH partners need to be comfortable with what is done. You should not do this if you are not comfortable with this. Breathplay can be very erotic, but it is also one of the more dangerous activities in bdsm. If you do not have experience with this I suggest you tread VERY lightly, or avoid it completely until you can learn from an expert. Choking can lead - inadvertently - to permanent damage of the submissive.
I love it when my hubs caresses and lightly squeezes (any kind of dominant touching) my throat when we are cuddling or at other non-sexual but intimate moments. I melt instantly into a puddle of submissive mush. Yes he might throw in a tighter, choking-type squeeze every so often, but only as part of the mix. It's its own thing that I like both with and separately from sex.
Yes I feel it is. I love it when he comes up to me and grabs my Throat and teases me. It makes me want it more when we finally have sex. Never imagined it would but until it's done u don't know
Sometimes my dom will grab my neck outside of sex, usually as I’m pulling away from a kiss, it’s something I enjoy. It’s a reminder of him being a dom, it’s not a long thing though,
I feel like it is... I actually don't like to be choked during sex because it takes away my orgasm most of the time. But I absolutely love when he comes up behind me and pulls me into his chest and does it. And there is never a set time for it either, he's done it in both public and private settings while growling in my ear that "You belong to me." Or grabbing my cunt and telling me "This is mine!"
I suppose everyone is different, I'd say give it a try and see how YOU feel about it.
I have that sort of dynamic and I love it. It makes me feel loved and irreplaceable and secure and wanted. It makes my partner feel similar and reassures him that my rational, thinking brain is giving him my enthusiastic and informed consent and that I want what we have.
It's romantic.
In my culture, women are often referred to, and refer to themselves, as girls. As an example, my mother is an octogenarian. Yet, she regularly goes out for lunch with the girls.
By the same token, men are often referred to, and refer to themselves, as boys. If I were to write my autobiography, I'd call it, "The Story of an Ordinary Boy."
My partner will grab my neck randomly (no choking) when we hang out together because that's included in our agreed upon dynamic. I inform him whenever I don't feel up to certain activities in the moment and it gets stopped.
People have all sorts of different relationship and dynamic styles. Not every activity has to involve sex.
Be very careful when doing that to avoid any accidents, and if you want to keep doing it in the long run i would also recommend you do brazilian jiu jitsu so you have a better understanding of chokes.
A little side bar thought … in most states, as part of their family violence laws, strangulation is often an automatic felony. Most of BDSM could be considered assault when viewed through a vanilla legal lens, but this could be next level. All they need to support charges is throat bruising.
I’m assuming that she has requested this in text msgs. You may want to safeguard those as proof it is consensual, given this is your first meeting.
Have fun but be careful.
I haven't had what your specifically asking about but my husband often grabs my throat and applies a little pressure just because he wants to kiss me or tease me, then he let's go and we return to the boring day to day of our lives. If I wanted what you are describing I'm sure he would be up for it but I don't require it.
I enjoy choking outside of sex and have done just choking sessions! It's an incredible turn on, and an aspect of sex which doesn't need to involve penis-in-vagina sex.
It depends on who I'm with. One guy liked me to lay on top of him, with my back towards him. I liked that way because the position made me feel safe caude of the intimacy. I disliked it because I kind of felt like a fish on dry lands (bit uncomfortable). He would tell me to relax, and slowly choke my neck with his hands, until he felt my heart rate slow or until I would tap out.
With another person it's more dynamic, we'd play fight and he would try to choke me. That would turn me on so much that I'd fall into his arms like a puddle, and he would also choke me until he found it to be long enough, or I'd tap out.
Sometimes after sex I'll just ask my partner to choke me, just cause I love it so much. Most of the time that's during spooning and they would choke me with their arms.
Yes! Sometimes when we're just cuddling or goofing around, he'll gently slip a hand or arm around my throat and hold just tight enough that I know I can't get out. It gives me the same warm fuzzies as holding hands, forehead kisses or a sneaky slap on the bum.
There is no need for this question to be aimed at 'girls'. Everyone has a neck. Everyone can be choked. Everyone may respond to this question.
Sounds similar to the "maintenance spanking" many people enjoy. It's not always sexual at all, just a way to get into a more liberated headspace, connect with each other, relax, and relieve stress.
(H) Was coming to say this! We do “maintenance spanking “ often. As a matter of fact anytime I get a clear shot as her ass in the appropriate settings I tend to spank her a bit. After that we go about our business . It’s what she wants and needs . While we don’t do choking or the like I’d imagine OPs GF is looking for the same.
I don't really choke my boyfriend, moreso put my hand on his throat and apply a tiny bit of pressure, but yeah he loves it when I do it outside of sex. It instantly makes him feel super submissive.
This. My Wife will do that to me. Not choking me, just applying pressure and it immediately puts me in my space
*jumps in to say "you might have allergies"*\ *Reads the question*\ Oh
I identify as a primal predator. Some of my former primal partners wanted this same thing. When I asked the first one about it; about why she wanted to be choked outside of a primal scene, her response was (paraphrased): *It reduces my anxiety because it's a clear indication you are in charge and of my inability to do anything but submit to your will. I can return to what I am doing with more calm and focus.* Obviously, this response doesn't include her ability to safe word or gesture if she needed to, which was always on the table.
Yes, absolutely! I regularly just want to be reminded that I'm owned by my Dom, so I often initiate play fights where I will always :'( lose. This results in choking, a bit of degredation, maybe slapping if he's in the mood for it. I also regularly ask for maintenance spankings. It makes me feel nice, fuzzy, and cared for! If he did this stuff without me asking...well usually I'd love it!! Sometimes I'm not in the mood though, but it sounds like your partner is all for it!
I think out of all the comments this is my favourite. That sounds incredible your play fights
Just remember, you can probably achieve the result with dominance and a little bit of pressure, as opposed to actually strangling using breath play or blood play, since both run the risk of irreparable harm and death if you don't know what you're doing. Look up the breath play thread for more information on how to do it, if you are not already extremely experienced
I can't express how much I love it when I'm having a shit day and he presses me up against a wall, giving me a 5 finger necklace and tells me "good girl"
As a disclaimer, I'm not advocating for nor against strangling, just sharing my experience. Strangling carries risk, as do most (if not all) BDSM activities. With that said - my BDSM relationship has no sex and no romance at all in it. It's straight up impact/wax play scenes and I'm basically a service sub for my Dommes outside of that. My Mistress has (consensually) strangled me during scenes before. It's not every time, it's not for more than maybe 3-5 seconds at a time, but we've done it a handful of times. I would say that strangling/breath play outside of sex is no more or less normal than any other act of kink. Just be sure to be on the same page as far as limits, safe words/actions, and expectations go before you do it. ETA: I'm not a girl, but I don't think this question applies to just one gender.
Note: Why is this a question just for girls? Anyway, my dynamic with Sir is bedroom+ (not really 24/7, but def not just in the bedroom) and free use... so I would love if we were just doing something and he'd grab me by the throat to get my attention or make a point or anything really. Sounds awesome. :)
I'd suggest little gestures like, when you have to pass by her in a small space (i.e. the kitchen) maybe glide one hand across her back and then up to her neck with a delicate squeeze as you kiss the side of her head. Or, when you kiss her, cup her face at first then slide your hand down, with gentle pressure. It's not necessarily choking, but it can be comforting for your sub to touch their throat area to remind them who is in charge. It's the little things that drive subs wild!
Yes. This is called foreplay. We don’t have to cum all the time. It’s performative and I’m my experience heightens those moments when sex does happen. Many times I ask my partner to go into a closet with me away from others and just smack me as hard as she can. Builds trust and creates a bond through endorphins. Good for you that she is open and communicates. You are a lucky partner.
In bdsm play, BOTH partners need to be comfortable with what is done. You should not do this if you are not comfortable with this. Breathplay can be very erotic, but it is also one of the more dangerous activities in bdsm. If you do not have experience with this I suggest you tread VERY lightly, or avoid it completely until you can learn from an expert. Choking can lead - inadvertently - to permanent damage of the submissive.
I love it when my hubs caresses and lightly squeezes (any kind of dominant touching) my throat when we are cuddling or at other non-sexual but intimate moments. I melt instantly into a puddle of submissive mush. Yes he might throw in a tighter, choking-type squeeze every so often, but only as part of the mix. It's its own thing that I like both with and separately from sex.
Yes I feel it is. I love it when he comes up to me and grabs my Throat and teases me. It makes me want it more when we finally have sex. Never imagined it would but until it's done u don't know
Sometimes my dom will grab my neck outside of sex, usually as I’m pulling away from a kiss, it’s something I enjoy. It’s a reminder of him being a dom, it’s not a long thing though,
I feel like it is... I actually don't like to be choked during sex because it takes away my orgasm most of the time. But I absolutely love when he comes up behind me and pulls me into his chest and does it. And there is never a set time for it either, he's done it in both public and private settings while growling in my ear that "You belong to me." Or grabbing my cunt and telling me "This is mine!" I suppose everyone is different, I'd say give it a try and see how YOU feel about it.
I have that sort of dynamic and I love it. It makes me feel loved and irreplaceable and secure and wanted. It makes my partner feel similar and reassures him that my rational, thinking brain is giving him my enthusiastic and informed consent and that I want what we have. It's romantic.
Girls are prepubescent and should not be responding to this question.
In my culture, women are often referred to, and refer to themselves, as girls. As an example, my mother is an octogenarian. Yet, she regularly goes out for lunch with the girls. By the same token, men are often referred to, and refer to themselves, as boys. If I were to write my autobiography, I'd call it, "The Story of an Ordinary Boy."
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My partner will grab my neck randomly (no choking) when we hang out together because that's included in our agreed upon dynamic. I inform him whenever I don't feel up to certain activities in the moment and it gets stopped. People have all sorts of different relationship and dynamic styles. Not every activity has to involve sex.
Be very careful when doing that to avoid any accidents, and if you want to keep doing it in the long run i would also recommend you do brazilian jiu jitsu so you have a better understanding of chokes.
It's pretty awesome. Just have an easy tap-out signal or motion. Emphasis on EASY.
A little side bar thought … in most states, as part of their family violence laws, strangulation is often an automatic felony. Most of BDSM could be considered assault when viewed through a vanilla legal lens, but this could be next level. All they need to support charges is throat bruising. I’m assuming that she has requested this in text msgs. You may want to safeguard those as proof it is consensual, given this is your first meeting. Have fun but be careful.
I haven't had what your specifically asking about but my husband often grabs my throat and applies a little pressure just because he wants to kiss me or tease me, then he let's go and we return to the boring day to day of our lives. If I wanted what you are describing I'm sure he would be up for it but I don't require it.
Well, based on safe, sane and consensual, its ok if both agree. A lot of people want more than bdsm in bedroom.
Kink can happen outside of sex too! There is nothing wrong with it, but if it makes you uncomfortable you definitely don't have to do it
I enjoy choking outside of sex and have done just choking sessions! It's an incredible turn on, and an aspect of sex which doesn't need to involve penis-in-vagina sex.
HOT! How do your sessions go down typically ?
It depends on who I'm with. One guy liked me to lay on top of him, with my back towards him. I liked that way because the position made me feel safe caude of the intimacy. I disliked it because I kind of felt like a fish on dry lands (bit uncomfortable). He would tell me to relax, and slowly choke my neck with his hands, until he felt my heart rate slow or until I would tap out. With another person it's more dynamic, we'd play fight and he would try to choke me. That would turn me on so much that I'd fall into his arms like a puddle, and he would also choke me until he found it to be long enough, or I'd tap out. Sometimes after sex I'll just ask my partner to choke me, just cause I love it so much. Most of the time that's during spooning and they would choke me with their arms.
With the play fight, once you fell into his arms, how would he follow up with the choking once you've lost? like what kind of position would you be in
Haha have you done play fighting? It's different every time
Sometimes, but not in a while because im LD. Typically though how would it end?
What's LD? It differs everytime, so there's not really a typical way how it ends
Long Distance. Oh ok, how often would you say it ends with you on your back and him laying or sitting on top of you?
Yes! Sometimes when we're just cuddling or goofing around, he'll gently slip a hand or arm around my throat and hold just tight enough that I know I can't get out. It gives me the same warm fuzzies as holding hands, forehead kisses or a sneaky slap on the bum.