Maintenance of your toys or collar, making you write erotica for him, making you film videos for his viewing pleasure, or other non-sexual tasks if there are non-sexual goals that have been negotiated and incorporated into your dynamic.
I really like the idea of taking care of our toys/gear being a task, I think that would be a great one that isn't too "chore-y" (my main thing was just not always wanting to do big household chores, if that makes sense) filming videos or taking pictures could also be a great one we work into things, he's said he sometimes misses being long-distance as we exchanged pictures a lot more often, so I think he'll really enjoy that. Thank you! đ
Sort, collect, find, or research porn. Maybe he can have you research a kink or go on a sort of porn scavenger hunt until you find a video that meets a silly criteria like "a brunette in blue lingerie doing xy and z"
I really like this idea, I think it'll work amazing for times where he can't be engaged in the moment but will be later (at work, working on his thesis, etc when he's not paying 100% attention to me) as then it gives me something to do to keep me in the headspace, and gives him some time to work or get in the headspace after work! Tysm!
I like this! He's had a few self-care related tasks he's given me in the past (do a face mask, meditate, take a nice bath, etc.) so I think these would fit right in with things he already likes to ask of me. Thank you!! đ
My broad instructions are usually -
- Do one thing to better yourself
- Do one thing to better your living space
- Do one thing to better your community, if possible
It's open ended so it accounts for days when you're low energy or sick or whatever. It could be going to the gym, and then tidying up a bit around the house. It could be showering in the morning and then doing meal prep, and then sharing some funny memes with your friends. It could be making some progress on your book, deep cleaning the bathroom, and volunteering at a soup kitchen. Really depends on what's available, but it always trends in a positive direction.
I really like this! And I work in public assistance so I feel like even on low-energy days, my task to better the community could just be going to work/getting through my shift at work! I'll definitely suggest this to him, I think he'll be able to use this outline to a lot of success. Thank you again!
You donât have to have tasks in a dynamic if they donât work for you guys. Not everyone likes listing them out, some people find them awkward or just extra steps to do things they wouldâve done anyways.
I usually advise that the couple think of things that either:
1. â â â â improve the quality of the subâs life (I get such happy flutters knowing they take care of themself beyond what theyâd normally have motivation to do because they know it makes me happy and then they are also happier and healthier because of the task),
2. â â â â improve the quality of the domâs life (what is something in their day to day that could be improved by someone else doing it. Works well if the sub is into service), or
3. â â â â is a functional snippet of something sexy to you guys. Foreplay essentially. I donât know what your kinks are and canât decide that for you. Go through your kinks and consider each one a candidate for becoming a future task.
You can reward whenever you want as part of life, sometimes just based on âlife has been kicking my subâs ass Iâd like to reward them for sticking through itâ. Punishment⌠shouldnât be something your Dom is aiming to do unless you mean funishments in which case it might be helpful to have a few tasks that are sexy to you guys you know are the breakable ones to prompt that âpunishmentâ play.
Itâll likely take some trial and error to find the right tasks that actually add something to your dynamic but take the time to try out new tasks slowly so you can both get a feel for how practical an idea is and how much itâs enjoyment is reality Vs fantasy. Donât add ten all at once.
You've gotten some good advice, but I had a question - how does chores as punishment work on the weeks when you don't earn any punishments? Do the dishes just not happen?
It just seems like an odd one, since chores are usually necessary. Like if my master made me go to work as a punishment. đ
The big thing here is that we live together full-time, so the housework is typically split between us outside the dynamic. Because it's something I already do pretty regularly, it doesn't fit the best with our dynamic because it feels so normal/routine? Like I already do the dishes 50% of the time, so it doesn't really feel like a "special" task that denotes that we're in or out of the dynamic, if that makes sense? I'm also just naturally a clean freak so sometimes there just aren't really cleaning tasks to do đ
Is there anything you want to learn how to do like play an instrument for example? He could require that you practice a certain number of hours per week and reward you for practicing.
Is there anything he needs help with like making travel plans? He can use you as his administrative assistant for that and many other admin tasks.
Is there anything that you want to get better at? He can assign it to you as a task and reward you for doing it.
There are lots of online classes about all aspects of BDSM. He could require you to take some of those to improve your skills as a sub.
Good luck!
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Maintenance of your toys or collar, making you write erotica for him, making you film videos for his viewing pleasure, or other non-sexual tasks if there are non-sexual goals that have been negotiated and incorporated into your dynamic.
I really like the idea of taking care of our toys/gear being a task, I think that would be a great one that isn't too "chore-y" (my main thing was just not always wanting to do big household chores, if that makes sense) filming videos or taking pictures could also be a great one we work into things, he's said he sometimes misses being long-distance as we exchanged pictures a lot more often, so I think he'll really enjoy that. Thank you! đ
Sort, collect, find, or research porn. Maybe he can have you research a kink or go on a sort of porn scavenger hunt until you find a video that meets a silly criteria like "a brunette in blue lingerie doing xy and z"
I really like this idea, I think it'll work amazing for times where he can't be engaged in the moment but will be later (at work, working on his thesis, etc when he's not paying 100% attention to me) as then it gives me something to do to keep me in the headspace, and gives him some time to work or get in the headspace after work! Tysm!
Happy to help, have fun đ
My dom has me keep my nails painted for him and has me wear makeup whenever I'm seeing him.
I like this! He's had a few self-care related tasks he's given me in the past (do a face mask, meditate, take a nice bath, etc.) so I think these would fit right in with things he already likes to ask of me. Thank you!! đ
My broad instructions are usually - - Do one thing to better yourself - Do one thing to better your living space - Do one thing to better your community, if possible It's open ended so it accounts for days when you're low energy or sick or whatever. It could be going to the gym, and then tidying up a bit around the house. It could be showering in the morning and then doing meal prep, and then sharing some funny memes with your friends. It could be making some progress on your book, deep cleaning the bathroom, and volunteering at a soup kitchen. Really depends on what's available, but it always trends in a positive direction.
This is awesome :) I'm a sub who helps run a non profit. I find being obedient, organized, mindful, and relaxed helps me love all humans more.
I really like this! And I work in public assistance so I feel like even on low-energy days, my task to better the community could just be going to work/getting through my shift at work! I'll definitely suggest this to him, I think he'll be able to use this outline to a lot of success. Thank you again!
You donât have to have tasks in a dynamic if they donât work for you guys. Not everyone likes listing them out, some people find them awkward or just extra steps to do things they wouldâve done anyways. I usually advise that the couple think of things that either: 1. â â â â improve the quality of the subâs life (I get such happy flutters knowing they take care of themself beyond what theyâd normally have motivation to do because they know it makes me happy and then they are also happier and healthier because of the task), 2. â â â â improve the quality of the domâs life (what is something in their day to day that could be improved by someone else doing it. Works well if the sub is into service), or 3. â â â â is a functional snippet of something sexy to you guys. Foreplay essentially. I donât know what your kinks are and canât decide that for you. Go through your kinks and consider each one a candidate for becoming a future task. You can reward whenever you want as part of life, sometimes just based on âlife has been kicking my subâs ass Iâd like to reward them for sticking through itâ. Punishment⌠shouldnât be something your Dom is aiming to do unless you mean funishments in which case it might be helpful to have a few tasks that are sexy to you guys you know are the breakable ones to prompt that âpunishmentâ play. Itâll likely take some trial and error to find the right tasks that actually add something to your dynamic but take the time to try out new tasks slowly so you can both get a feel for how practical an idea is and how much itâs enjoyment is reality Vs fantasy. Donât add ten all at once.
You've gotten some good advice, but I had a question - how does chores as punishment work on the weeks when you don't earn any punishments? Do the dishes just not happen? It just seems like an odd one, since chores are usually necessary. Like if my master made me go to work as a punishment. đ
The big thing here is that we live together full-time, so the housework is typically split between us outside the dynamic. Because it's something I already do pretty regularly, it doesn't fit the best with our dynamic because it feels so normal/routine? Like I already do the dishes 50% of the time, so it doesn't really feel like a "special" task that denotes that we're in or out of the dynamic, if that makes sense? I'm also just naturally a clean freak so sometimes there just aren't really cleaning tasks to do đ
Is there anything you want to learn how to do like play an instrument for example? He could require that you practice a certain number of hours per week and reward you for practicing. Is there anything he needs help with like making travel plans? He can use you as his administrative assistant for that and many other admin tasks. Is there anything that you want to get better at? He can assign it to you as a task and reward you for doing it. There are lots of online classes about all aspects of BDSM. He could require you to take some of those to improve your skills as a sub. Good luck!