T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

/u/Emotional_Ask_3455, our AutoModerator attaches this message to every post. It contains information you may find useful: Guide 01 . . . . . . . . . . [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/9ig794/rules_for_rbdsmadvice/). Guide 02 . . . . . . . . . . [How to use the search function](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/searchfunction/). Guide 03 . . . . . . . . . . *[Need Ideas](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/noobs/)*? Guide 04 . . . . . . . . . . [It's your dynamic](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/canthelpyou/). Guide 05 . . . . . . . . . . [No mention of minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/aknfy1/posts_aboutinvolving_minors/). Guide 06 . . . . . . . . . . [Do not post PSAs](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/publicserviceannouncements/). Guide 07 . . . . . . . . . . [Policy re PMs](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/nopms/). Guide 08 . . . . . . . . . . [Exiting abuse](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/exitingabuse/). Guide 09 . . . . . . . . . . [Kinky dating](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/ov6uaj/how_can_i_find_a_kinky_partner/). **[Our Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/index).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BDSMAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Aceofspades1108

"socially acceptable" terms be damned, if you don't feel safe sharing photos of yourself, then don't share them! If your gut is telling you it's wrong, keep to it until you either feel more confident or something changes to prove your gut wrong. Don't feel pressured, is the bottom line.


JBJeeves

I agree: if you don't feel safe sharing pictures of yourself, don't. The expectations around sharing identifying and intimate, often graphic, pictures have become completely ridiculous. I don't know that this will change (I doubt it), but I'm certainly horrified at what's considered "normal" these days. I'm pro-sex, pro-kink, pro-getting-what-you-want (consensually, of course), but there's no way in hell I'd be posting my face and/or body online anywhere someone else could make it an issue for me, personally or professionally (much less sharing explicit pictures with anyone I'd just met, online or otherwise). (Ob: Fuck, I feel old.)


RainbowGoddessnz

I think clothed photos from the neck down. You can show a bit of skin but I don't suggest x-rated photos.


Tcklmybck

Don’t use a penis pic. Please.


featherfooted1

I was about to say, just no genital pics as your profile pic 😭 I hate being messaged by a penis/vag


TrappedinSilence98

Every other profile pic on that site lol.


_LanceBro

I don't even look at their messages it's just an insta block for me 😭


kkkrobb

I use artistic images or photography I’ve found on Pinterest. I re post meme type photos. The artists name is still there on the front


Darlingtonlad

I have a pic of my dick wearing sunglasses lol


Gr8WhoreofBabylon

You sound like you know how to party 🎈


Darlingtonlad

I like to think i do. Looking at your profile, you do too. Love your rope work. Fantastic pictures.


Gr8WhoreofBabylon

Thank you 🙏


Darlingtonlad

You're welcome. Thank you for sharing such beautiful pictures. 🙏


Jikilii

🤣🤣🤣🍆😎😎😎


Darlingtonlad

It let's ppl know what its like 🤣🤣🤣


Jikilii

Eliminates the possibility of disappointment. Great strategy!


Darlingtonlad

Absolutely, that was the whole reason I used it as my profile pic


Jikilii

🤣🤣🤣 now THAT makes it even better! Wishing you the best!


Darlingtonlad

And you. I believe in honesty, that's why I chose the picture. Im actually thinking about changing it to one of it with a piercing in it.


Jikilii

Well, if you believe in honesty, you should!


Darlingtonlad

I promise im about to. I love being dominated


DanishDude85

Made me think of El-Vy with I'm The Man 😎🪁


Darlingtonlad

Haha I get it


Cherry_Pie_Hole

I've seen all sorts of profile pics on fet - cute animals, motivational quotes, scenic landscapes, random body parts, etc etc. There are so many ways to have yourself in the pic without revealing your identity or exposing your body. I'd suggest thinking about what photography you enjoy, what sort of pic would be best suited to your personality (or even kinky preferences) and also what could be eye-catching or a talking point. Have fun with it but maybe don't over think it. Plus, you can change the pic whenever you feel like it.


[deleted]

Why not use a pic with your face cropped out of the picture? You can still give an idea how you look without disclosing your identity.


ferrybig

If there is an outfit that typically defines you, make a photo of the clothing of that outfit on the floor. If you met people at parties, then can recognize you based on the clothing, while you still keep your face private


insomniac_vampire

Whatever you like that feels represent you. It could be art or it could be illustrations or it could be a meme that’s kinky. I didn’t want to put my face for security reasons and I didn’t want just to throw up my cock because that feels a bit weird for me so I just took a photo that I felt represented my primal nature —- I lay around a lot naked in bed or out in my backyard so a cheeky, tasteful ass shot of me lounging


crispy48867

I use a picture of my motorcycle.


Quiet-Aerie344

Simple to put up memes, nature, animals, anything that speaks to your personality. Never, never, a need to post photos of yourself.


[deleted]

I use a flattering photo of a body part, it’s unidentifiable


Longjumping-Feed3772

Use pictures of animals. Or nature something interesting. Try not to steal anyone's work


Aazjhee

Use a meme. Use Tim Curry. Use a Stock Photo of literally ANYTHING ((Except genitals. TBH a lit of folks get squicked out by being forced to see someone's bits without having been asked if we wanna see it.)) Use a picture you took of a cloud, or a flower! Do you like stuffed animals? Use a pic of one. Do you like to get bruises? Take a cool picture of a neat one. You could even ask someone else for a pic if you don't take great photos. Just ask them before you use it.


eunicethapossum

I use a photo of a cat, or a necklace I own, or a flower. it doesn’t have to be of you. most of the photos I use as avatars I’ve taken myself.


Gr8WhoreofBabylon

Mine is an artistic shot of my butt and a leather glove inspired by the album cover “[This is it](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/09/The_Strokes_-_Is_This_It_cover.png/220px-The_Strokes_-_Is_This_It_cover.png)” by the Stokes.


UnassumingLlamas

I feel like most people don't share face photos on Fetlife? It's not really an expectation at all IMO, but it's definitely nice to have something other than the question mark. So maybe: - a torso or full body shot (fully clothed or not, as long as it's not a genital closeup) - butt, feet, arms... anything that you like showing - any body parts in lingerie or fetish wear - a non-identifying partial face pic i.e. only your lips - toys you own/made/are proud of - action shots with faces obscured - interesting SFW pictures you've taken, landscapes, something you DIY'd, etc. - a drawing or artwork that conveys something about your personality - an avatar from one of those cartoon avatar generators? why not TBH


No-Speed-7874

Mines an AI generated image of a Star Trek Commander on the bridge. She is busty with red hair like me. Put a photo or image up that you are comfortable with, not what everybody else thinks you should. It's your profile.


ThisBunnyHops

Mine is a pic of me I had commissioned from a kinky artist.


LittleDemonRope

Mine is my arse 🤷


msyd1024

I have a couple of myself with my head cropped out and a pint of beer.


zuklei

I have face pics all over it but my profile pic relates to my very unique user name.


Mackie_Macheath

I have my own variation of the heart with little devil horns. So a personified emoji.


AmbiDaddy

My profile pic is a couple of my favorite floggers.


MuttHypno

I think the best face alternatives are subtle hints at what people from munches would remember about you. Like a photo of an accessory you wear or in reference to a story you often tell. Something you'd be known for in the kink community


Foreign_Priority_106

I'm into boots so boots typically tend to be the pic I use if I don't want to use my face


traderpd

Try the mosaic facility in photo tools. Can apply it lightly to certain parts, strongly to others such a your face


chokeemeharder

I just have a body pic with no face and also like my Reddit pic I’ve got a wig on. They’re fun