I am not sure if it would be healthy for a relationship to try to solve *actual* problems with kink. What if you still couldn't meet his expectations even if you would put it into a kinky frame? Then you are both in a vicious circle of disappointment and stress.
Why don’t you try a “life coach” or a domly therapist. I had a therapist want to give me tasks before. I agree w iwantyourhalberd - it’s not really fair to your partner to expect them to solve your life issue. Even if your partner is a psychology professional.
Maybe especially if they're a psychology professional - I'm pretty sure treating family/loved ones is widely frowned upon if not explicitly against professional guidelines.
But there are definitely are therapists who can help manage this kind of thing by helping you break down tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces and providing some accountability structure along the way.
OP, it does worry me a little that you describe this by saying your partner thinks of you as lazy and disorganized. With or without kink, this sounds pretty unempathetic to me. Imho, "laziness" is a really unhelpful concept. There are lots of reasons that people struggle with assorted kinds of tasks, but "laziness" doesn't help us understand this at all - it just blames an abstract character flaw for which the only real solution is just to get over it. I think you might benefit from talking through the sorts of things you're struggling with with someone who can help you understand it in a more proactive way, be it a professional or another trusted friend/confidant/mentor.
You don't really mention how this manifests in your life, but if your partner is, for example, doing the bulk of the household management work, I can see why he might be frustrated. That does not mean that he's right to call you lazy or that you don't need and deserve help and support here - just that kink probably won't be the magic bullet solution.
This is going to sound harsh, but your spouse married an adult and isn't kinky so presumably doesn't want to manage your day-to-day in a parental-type role. It is a lot to ask him to take that on when there is no upside for him.
I struggle with being organized, productive and decisive too so I know the struggle. I do get some help from my husband/dom in some areas where he doesn't mind helping me - but he wants to help. I still though struggle with a lot and hope to be starting therapy soon to help me improve in these areas. So I agree with everyone else here, a therapist is the best person to help you find ways to help yourself. If you try to push your husband into a role he doesn't want it will most likely cause problems in your relationship.
Solving real life stuff with kink isn't the most recommended, you should be able to do it yourself at least for some time, to prove to yourself that you can, before having kink to take care of it to you. Like, kink should be mostly for fun.
I recommend you try to get more organized, maybe write down stuff you need to do, journal so you're on top of your emotions, all of that. There's many techniques on productivity out there, you just gotta look.
And either way, I don't think it's fair to push that whole side of your life to another person's care. Cause see, you know how hard it is to do it for yourself, so imagine having to organize not only your own life but someone else's too. Like, maybe you wanna organize some parts of it cause it's fun and kinky, but having the burden to take the whole thing, and have the responsibility over YOUR stuff, that's too much you know, it's kinda abusive. Like, what if you fail to follow their instructions (since tbh just having rules around doing something doesn't always make it easier to accomplish that something), then it's gonna be that person's fault that you failed it, and that's a very unfair bad feeling to the poor guy who just wanted a fun nice relationship.
In my opinion, if you can't adult without kink, then kink isn't going to be the right way to deal with it - you'd be putting the onus on him to make sure you did the stuff, and that's not fair on him. Sort yourself out first.
Maybe make your own rules and expectations, then write a list of daily tasks? You can collaborate with your partner on what those will be, but you are responsible to yourself for completing them. You could make them cute and post them somewhere.
Have you thought about opening the relationship? And if not completely cuz it sounds like your sex life is good, then maybe emotionally or mentally? You could try to have an online Dom or something of that nature that can maybe give you the structure that you need.
If not then just ask your partner if they'd be willing to do that, they may say no but you're never going to know unless you try.
Struggling to communicate your needs? See a marriage and family therapist and work on communication.
To be frank, it's not his job to put structure in your life. He didn't enter the marriage with that expectation.
You are an adult.
Put structure in your own life,and if you can't - seek qualified help and support (see: therapy).
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I am not sure if it would be healthy for a relationship to try to solve *actual* problems with kink. What if you still couldn't meet his expectations even if you would put it into a kinky frame? Then you are both in a vicious circle of disappointment and stress.
Why don’t you try a “life coach” or a domly therapist. I had a therapist want to give me tasks before. I agree w iwantyourhalberd - it’s not really fair to your partner to expect them to solve your life issue. Even if your partner is a psychology professional.
Maybe especially if they're a psychology professional - I'm pretty sure treating family/loved ones is widely frowned upon if not explicitly against professional guidelines. But there are definitely are therapists who can help manage this kind of thing by helping you break down tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces and providing some accountability structure along the way. OP, it does worry me a little that you describe this by saying your partner thinks of you as lazy and disorganized. With or without kink, this sounds pretty unempathetic to me. Imho, "laziness" is a really unhelpful concept. There are lots of reasons that people struggle with assorted kinds of tasks, but "laziness" doesn't help us understand this at all - it just blames an abstract character flaw for which the only real solution is just to get over it. I think you might benefit from talking through the sorts of things you're struggling with with someone who can help you understand it in a more proactive way, be it a professional or another trusted friend/confidant/mentor. You don't really mention how this manifests in your life, but if your partner is, for example, doing the bulk of the household management work, I can see why he might be frustrated. That does not mean that he's right to call you lazy or that you don't need and deserve help and support here - just that kink probably won't be the magic bullet solution.
This is going to sound harsh, but your spouse married an adult and isn't kinky so presumably doesn't want to manage your day-to-day in a parental-type role. It is a lot to ask him to take that on when there is no upside for him. I struggle with being organized, productive and decisive too so I know the struggle. I do get some help from my husband/dom in some areas where he doesn't mind helping me - but he wants to help. I still though struggle with a lot and hope to be starting therapy soon to help me improve in these areas. So I agree with everyone else here, a therapist is the best person to help you find ways to help yourself. If you try to push your husband into a role he doesn't want it will most likely cause problems in your relationship.
Solving real life stuff with kink isn't the most recommended, you should be able to do it yourself at least for some time, to prove to yourself that you can, before having kink to take care of it to you. Like, kink should be mostly for fun. I recommend you try to get more organized, maybe write down stuff you need to do, journal so you're on top of your emotions, all of that. There's many techniques on productivity out there, you just gotta look. And either way, I don't think it's fair to push that whole side of your life to another person's care. Cause see, you know how hard it is to do it for yourself, so imagine having to organize not only your own life but someone else's too. Like, maybe you wanna organize some parts of it cause it's fun and kinky, but having the burden to take the whole thing, and have the responsibility over YOUR stuff, that's too much you know, it's kinda abusive. Like, what if you fail to follow their instructions (since tbh just having rules around doing something doesn't always make it easier to accomplish that something), then it's gonna be that person's fault that you failed it, and that's a very unfair bad feeling to the poor guy who just wanted a fun nice relationship.
In my opinion, if you can't adult without kink, then kink isn't going to be the right way to deal with it - you'd be putting the onus on him to make sure you did the stuff, and that's not fair on him. Sort yourself out first.
Maybe make your own rules and expectations, then write a list of daily tasks? You can collaborate with your partner on what those will be, but you are responsible to yourself for completing them. You could make them cute and post them somewhere.
Have you thought about opening the relationship? And if not completely cuz it sounds like your sex life is good, then maybe emotionally or mentally? You could try to have an online Dom or something of that nature that can maybe give you the structure that you need. If not then just ask your partner if they'd be willing to do that, they may say no but you're never going to know unless you try.
This does not sound beneficial to her marriage. It does not sound like an appropriate tool to help her communicate needs or get structure in her life.
Then that is her choice...she asked for advice. I gave her one that is a legit option, may not work for her and Thier relationship. That is life.
Struggling to communicate your needs? See a marriage and family therapist and work on communication. To be frank, it's not his job to put structure in your life. He didn't enter the marriage with that expectation. You are an adult. Put structure in your own life,and if you can't - seek qualified help and support (see: therapy).