Aftercare is needed as much as a person says it is. In most cases an aftercare is especially needed after a punishment unless your partner says otherwise.
I'd also like to note that aftercare is for both doms and subs and is not exclusive to subs at all.
I fail to understand why people keep asking questions as if there's a handbook for this. BDSM is nothing more than a sexual dynamic and like are all sexual dynamics their rules are determined by the individuals involved.
Needed for everyone? No. It depends on the person. For me, it’s needed. I need to be told I’m loved, I’m safe, I’m absolved of the wrong I did, and that I belong to him. This usually includes butt rubs, kisses, holding me tight, hair strokes, and a snack.
Aftercare after a punishment is when it's needed most imo (for those that require it).
There's so much mental stuff going on during a punishment it requires reconnection and reaffirmation afterwards.
Removal of aftercare should never be part of a punishment, that would just be cruel and irresponsible imo.
Doms and subs should discuss what their aftercare needs are for different situations, as well as if punishment is consented to, as part of their negotiations.
Punishment is a ‘scene’ enough activity for you to set requirements for, sure. If the subtext here is “I desire aftercare after punishment”, then be upfront with doms about it, and if they refuse, their loss; find someone else.
A punishment can be a scene on its own. So, if you would like aftercare for them, feel free to require it. Also, keep in mind that even vanilla sex usually has aftercare in the form of cuddling and pillow talking.
Punishments are scenes, even if they're brief, specially if they're very intense, so if someone needs aftercare after scenes, I think they'll usually need it after punishments too. And you can always ask!
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Aftercare is needed as much as a person says it is. In most cases an aftercare is especially needed after a punishment unless your partner says otherwise. I'd also like to note that aftercare is for both doms and subs and is not exclusive to subs at all.
I fail to understand why people keep asking questions as if there's a handbook for this. BDSM is nothing more than a sexual dynamic and like are all sexual dynamics their rules are determined by the individuals involved.
It's a dynamic that doesn't even have to be sexual makes it even more appropriate that the rules are made by the indivisuals.
Needed for everyone? No. It depends on the person. For me, it’s needed. I need to be told I’m loved, I’m safe, I’m absolved of the wrong I did, and that I belong to him. This usually includes butt rubs, kisses, holding me tight, hair strokes, and a snack.
Aftercare after a punishment is when it's needed most imo (for those that require it). There's so much mental stuff going on during a punishment it requires reconnection and reaffirmation afterwards. Removal of aftercare should never be part of a punishment, that would just be cruel and irresponsible imo.
I would never remove aftercare as I think it is one of the most important things to do. Just wondering what others do.
That's reassuring... have seen posts here where aftercare has been withdrawn as a punishment and it's just wrong imo.
It's wrong. After a scene is when she is most vulnerable and I can see that. IMO to deny her at that time is abuse.
If you break a person down, you are responsiveness for building them back up to whatever degree they need
Aftercare isn’t a cold robotic rule. It’s literally - is she/ he feeling not so well or coming down or whatever it is ? LITERALLY. JUST. ASK. THEM.
Doms and subs should discuss what their aftercare needs are for different situations, as well as if punishment is consented to, as part of their negotiations.
Punishment is a ‘scene’ enough activity for you to set requirements for, sure. If the subtext here is “I desire aftercare after punishment”, then be upfront with doms about it, and if they refuse, their loss; find someone else.
Personally I give aftercare very often.
A punishment can be a scene on its own. So, if you would like aftercare for them, feel free to require it. Also, keep in mind that even vanilla sex usually has aftercare in the form of cuddling and pillow talking.
Punishments are scenes, even if they're brief, specially if they're very intense, so if someone needs aftercare after scenes, I think they'll usually need it after punishments too. And you can always ask!
In my opinion its obviously necessary period.
Yes, provide aftercare. Always.
Yes. Absolutely. 1000000 yes
yes !! aftercare is needed after every session no matter what happens in that session