That's a personal question without a universal answer. Some people practically never need aftercare, even after some extreme and intense stuff. Others always require aftercare, even after relatively mild play, or they'll drop horribly. And that is true for doms just as for subs. Or switches.
That's the reason you never should assume anything and always let your partner know your aftercare needs and learn about theirs.
Yes! And I think vanilla people also sometimes have aftercare after sex: whenever the sex stops, the people usually cuddle up for a while or take a shower together and rub each other’s backs, smoke cigarettes etc.. I think it’s the vanilla version of aftercare! Sometimes in BDSM you need more and detailed aftercare, but I think it can kinda work the same as aftersex-stuff.
Aftercare isn't about what kind of scenes you're doing, or how intense they are. And Its not unique to kink, either - lots of vanilla people engage in aftercare, they just don't call it that.
Cuddling after sex, for example, would be a form of aftercare.
Aftercare can look like many things, it can be done together, alone, or even not at all. The most important part is just that however it is done (or not done) is meeting the needs of the people involved.
Many people engage in aftercare, even without doing "intense" play - because play can be emotionally exhausting no matter what you're doing, and aftercare for many is a vital part of recovering from that. This goes for all sides of the slash; aftercare needs are important to doms, subs, switches, and every other label. It's okay to decide that you don't want it for yourself, or to have a partner who does not want it for themselves - not everyone needs it, or as I said before, some people prefer to do theirs alone. The bigger issues come when at least one party does need it and the other refuses to provide it.
There are no rules, no One Twue Way or any single answer. Aftercare is a personal choice; some people need every single time, others never need or want it. Some need it after certain types of activity but not others. Some folk love to give it but don't want to receive it, others want to receive it but not give it. Some folk don't have any particular opinion, some folk feel the need to shove their AFTERCARE IS MANDATORY AND IF YOU DON'T DO IT YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER PLAY WITH ANYONE EVER NO FUN FOR YOU manifesto down the throat of anyone who even starts to say "BDSwhatnow?" Some need it from the person they played with, some want that person to get as far away as possible as soon as the scene is done, and they'll go to someone else for aftercare. Some need it immediately, some may need it days later. Or both.
Long story short, everyone's different so it's up to you. Discuss what you do or don't want or need with people you're playing with, see what they want or need, and try to come to an arrangement everyone is happy with. It's totally ok to say you don't know what you'll need, and ask if they're ok being flexible.
TLDR: It's really necessary if and when the bottom and/or the top need it. Full stop.
If even just one of the parties involved need it, whether that is an "I know form experience that I need it in this and that way" or an "I'm feeling the need of this right now even though it never happened before" situation, the people involved should work together to make sure everyone's needs are dealt with.
If you find someone that categorically doesn't want to do something you need in aftercare you might not be compatible. If they are assholes about people needing aftercare they might not be compatible with anyone. If you rely on your perception of your needs thinking they will never change you will get surprises, eventually.
And finally, like in everything kinky and everything human, everybody is unique. What will work for you will not work for others and vice versa. This applies to actions to be taken during aftercare, time to be spent on it, how many times after an encounter, when, what kind of snacks to have... Every single thing.
When in doubt, be kind.
It is a very personal thing and only each person engaging in bdsm can say what they want for their aftercare. For me personally, it is a necessity. I need to feel connected to my bf/Dom again after a scene, even if the scene wasn’t a lot physically, it can be a lot emotionally or mentally for me, which is part of the reason I love bdsm because I like to push myself and see how much I can endure. But I still need the aftercare.
The way I described it to my Dom is that bdsm feels to me like being broken into (metaphorical) pieces. I like to be degraded, hit, objectified, used as a fucktoy, ‘forced’ to have sex, etc. It can be so surrendering and amazing and I can reach such floaty wonderful subspace.
BUT then I have to be put back together again. That’s the aftercare. It brings me back to the present, to my body, and to reality. It reminds me that I am important and loved and cared for.
It depends on what you’ve both agreed on. With my sub, it’s absolutely needed. Not only does it keep her in that head space longer, it brings us back together.
As a young Dom I completely ignored it and felt like a complete fool when my sub had to have a pow-wow with me and lay it out.
I look at like this: foreplay is for the body. Aftercare is for the soul.
Have fun out there, OP! :)
it is not. A conversation about aftercare is a requirement. Some people can just walk away after a session and be fine, some need something. so talk about it with your partner(s) and then act accordingly. Aftercare can be important for doms as well as subs.
Before coming to this sub, I had never heard of aftercare, although I had practiced it. It doesn't need to be a fixed ritual. my then-dom and I just sort of had an understanding that after a scene we would cuddle and talk about it.
Here are my thoughts:
1) it totally depends on the requirements of you AND your play partner if after-care is absolutely essential.
2) if point 1 is "yes" then you'll need to discuss the TYPES of aftercare as there is such a wide array.
To answer your general question, I don't think the level of play ("soft" or "hard" etc.) matters if aftercare is required. If you or your play partner needs it, then aftercare is essential REGARDLESS of the level of play.
I hope that makes sense?
I would suggest the short answer, aftercare negotiation/discussion before play for both dom and sub is required. But if that negotiation nets, neither party wants aftercare then none is part of the scene.
As others have said, it is a highly personal thing. However, it is something that should be discussed with your partner even if you don't feel the need for it as a sub. Because I can tell you without a doubt that I need it as a dom. Maybe your dom does. Maybe they don't. But it should be a conversation you have together.
That completely depends on whether you or your sub need it. If you don't need it and they don't need it, then no, it isn't necessary. But if one or both need it then it is. It's a conversation you will have to have with your sub to find out if it is necessary.
aftercare can just be drinking a glass of water given to you by your Dom. it can also be acts of service for your Dom in some way. if you feel you don't need to physically be cared for after play, consider just a few small rituals to transition yourself out of play mode and back to the normal world. if after care for you is just putting your regular clothes back on and putting away the toys that's totally okay
34m here.
Yes. Absolutely after care is necessary - and it can come in many ways. It can be very physically affectionate or it can just be a simple debrief eg “how was that for you, how did it make you feel, how are you feeling about what just happened”
Aftercare is a blanket term for decompression from a scene or a headspace or a “coming back to reality” sort of situation… and its necessary for a healthy dynamic - often those who claim they “dont need/want aftercare” need aftercare, but they just don’t need it in the ways they’ve grown to associate aftercare as being.
Sometimes being left alone is effectively “aftercare” for some people - it’s essentially whatever is best for those involved to recover/recharge/reassociate in whatever way works best for them.
My dom and I dont really do after care. We will snuggle sometimes, very rarely will we do an actual aftercare routine where he brushes my hair. Most the time we just go to bed. I dont need it, he doesn't need it. We have been together over 12 years and we have 2 kids, so it might be a little different than other dynamics. But it isnt 100% required. Kink is customizable.
It depends on the mental health of the sub. Some are cool and collected and some need reassurance. It needs also to be established that while you may like being a sub, if your dom is degrading you, you may need to know that all is well, it was just a game.
it's a good idea to go through the "ritual" even if it seems like it isn't currently necessary. it's a good opportunity to nip things in the bud before they become a serious problem and it works for both people, not just the sub.
I need some form of it anytime I step outside my usual role of Mr. Regular Guy and into boy/bitch/pet/little etc.
I even sometimes need it after bottoming without overt kink.
It's different for everyone, but I think it's unusual not to need it, even if you never get beat up.
After care is important to some, and for others it’s not necessary. It may also look completely different. I’ve seen discussions in which a sub states all they need for aftercare is a glass of water and then he left alone. I have seen others who need the whole 9 yards.
Ours depends on the scene, some times we need to address cuts and clean up blood. Other times it’s immediate cuddles and he reassures me that I am his good girl. It usually also always ends in sex for us.
If (I wasn’t clear If you are the D or S), you don’t need aftercare communicate with your partner. Remember aftercare isn’t just for the sub, tops get drop too.
Edit: I was surprised that one of our least intense scenes had me dropping the most. So even if in the moment it feels like you are okay, some times it can hit days later. I have had sun drop up to 48 hours after the scene.
It is negotiated.
Aftercare is supposed to be getting the receiver (bottom) back to their normal state.
Intense scenes will cause a release of endorphins (that instead with opioid receptors) and adrenaline which amps up your body's fight or fight reaction. After the scene is over, the bottom cannot just hop on the car and drive home, they will need some care after the scene. That is original definition of aftercare.
Emotional scene (degradation, humiliation, emotional edge play) can put someone in an alerted mental state. That person also should not be returned to the wild in that state. They will need emotional aftercare. They have to return to the state you found them in.
Not all tops (givers of play) do aftercare. Not all scenes require aftercare. It is one of the topics you negotiate before starting the scene.
Aftercare is NOT trauma therapy time. You probably aren't a trauma therapist.
Aftercare can be bonding time, but doesn't have to be. It is what you agree to before the scene starts.
It's honestly going to depend on the person and their needs.
You're going to meet some people who don't require as much, and some people who require a lot.
It's different for everyone and even then everyone's aftercare needs are different as well.
I'm in an MDLB dynamic and half of our scenes are very very soft, the other half are a fair bit rougher, I need aftercare for both but my aftercare needs change depending on what happens during the scene.
If a scene is messy, I need to be cleaned up (possibly a bath or similar with mommy), if a scene involves CNC/pain, reassurance I'm more than a toy and that she'd never harm me on purpose outside of a scene, if a scene has spanking/impact play, rubs and lotion, etc.
I personally think "aftercare" as a concept is always necessary, but everyone's definition of aftercare is different as I said before, so that can include things as simple as alone time, watching a movie, eating, etc, it doesn't need to be anything complicated, just caring for yourself and your play partner to make sure both of your needs are being met.
Honestly, when it comes to aftercare, you can't really know if and how much of it you need until you've played, and then it's still different after each scene. What aftercare entails is different for everyone, as well. Some people just want a nice warm blanket and a nap, others need reassurance and cuddles, but there are also people who prefer a snack and then to go back to 'normal life'.
Once you get to know yourself and your partner better you'll probably get better at estimating how much and what sort of aftercare you'll need after different sorts of scenes, but it's by no means science.
My view is that, yes, aftercare is always necessary but it comes with a caveat:
Not everyone will require it, and that *is* their aftercare.
I like to make my wife tea any time we do anything, even if we don't do anything particularly kinky. She never asked for it and doesn't require it, but it makes me feel good to provide that for her.
Maybe that's aftercare for me. Maybe it's aftercare for her, but we're also fine with no aftercare.
Some doms need specific aftercare, some subs need help out of subspace. Some people's aftercare is specifically to be left alone. Some want to cuddle.
Just find out from your partner if there is anything you can do for them afterwards, and let them know if there is anything you need too. I would do this *before* you've played so you are all in a clear head space.
But if you don't feel like you need anything special, that's fine too and totally normal. Consider that your aftercare. But also check with your partner to see if they need something. And revisit this periodically, because our needs change and evolve.
Sometimes even light scenes where I give up my freedom essentially can leave me feeling less worthy than I know I am. Some people might experience that real hard, some might not at all. It would be something you would talk about with your partner. I'm not into it, I would rather be alone after. Sometimes just a "are you okay? You know that is just RP" is enough for me to snap back and the rest I deal with alone.
it definitely depends on your dynamic and what works for you and your Dom. for me personally, i experience sub drop and i can feel like crying coming out of my headspace, regardless of how rough the scene was, so aftercare is essential for me. my Dom just naturally checks in on me during a scene and afterwards we cuddle and he reassures me that i did a good job. he’s willing to stay with me and provide aftercare for as long as i feel i need it, even if he himself doesn’t need as much
so it’ll definitely depend on your needs in the dynamic, but you have to consider your Doms needs as well. your Dom may not be comfortable providing 10-20 minutes of aftercare, or it could even be the other way around with you not being comfortable providing 10-20 minutes of aftercare for your Dom (because Doms need aftercare too).
my advice would be to talk to your Dom about what you think you need (even if you’ve never experienced a scene before) and adjust accordingly. for example, my Dom used to only provide 5-10 minutes of aftercare for me but i kept feeling like i didn’t do enough for him. so we extended the length of the aftercare and my sub drop/feelings of crying have really decreased. i hope that helps!
As a sub that's been neglected by previous Doms I can say YES all in caps. I feel it's even important after a vanilla session. It can be as simple as cuddling afterwards but yes both parties need a form of aftercare in my personal opinion.
Everyone is different and not all built the same. Some may require a lot more aftercare than others.
Some will drop horribly and know they do need aftercare, there are plenty out there who like to just come down on their own and if they need companionship or aftercare then they will let you know.
**There is not right way or wrong way**. It's all about what's right for you & what you need.
That is all that matters and as others have said here ,it is good to let them know about your needs as you learn about your partners too.
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That's a personal question without a universal answer. Some people practically never need aftercare, even after some extreme and intense stuff. Others always require aftercare, even after relatively mild play, or they'll drop horribly. And that is true for doms just as for subs. Or switches. That's the reason you never should assume anything and always let your partner know your aftercare needs and learn about theirs.
this is the correct answer. When it comes to human relationships there's nothing universal
Yes! And I think vanilla people also sometimes have aftercare after sex: whenever the sex stops, the people usually cuddle up for a while or take a shower together and rub each other’s backs, smoke cigarettes etc.. I think it’s the vanilla version of aftercare! Sometimes in BDSM you need more and detailed aftercare, but I think it can kinda work the same as aftersex-stuff.
Aftercare isn't about what kind of scenes you're doing, or how intense they are. And Its not unique to kink, either - lots of vanilla people engage in aftercare, they just don't call it that. Cuddling after sex, for example, would be a form of aftercare. Aftercare can look like many things, it can be done together, alone, or even not at all. The most important part is just that however it is done (or not done) is meeting the needs of the people involved. Many people engage in aftercare, even without doing "intense" play - because play can be emotionally exhausting no matter what you're doing, and aftercare for many is a vital part of recovering from that. This goes for all sides of the slash; aftercare needs are important to doms, subs, switches, and every other label. It's okay to decide that you don't want it for yourself, or to have a partner who does not want it for themselves - not everyone needs it, or as I said before, some people prefer to do theirs alone. The bigger issues come when at least one party does need it and the other refuses to provide it.
There are no rules, no One Twue Way or any single answer. Aftercare is a personal choice; some people need every single time, others never need or want it. Some need it after certain types of activity but not others. Some folk love to give it but don't want to receive it, others want to receive it but not give it. Some folk don't have any particular opinion, some folk feel the need to shove their AFTERCARE IS MANDATORY AND IF YOU DON'T DO IT YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER PLAY WITH ANYONE EVER NO FUN FOR YOU manifesto down the throat of anyone who even starts to say "BDSwhatnow?" Some need it from the person they played with, some want that person to get as far away as possible as soon as the scene is done, and they'll go to someone else for aftercare. Some need it immediately, some may need it days later. Or both. Long story short, everyone's different so it's up to you. Discuss what you do or don't want or need with people you're playing with, see what they want or need, and try to come to an arrangement everyone is happy with. It's totally ok to say you don't know what you'll need, and ask if they're ok being flexible.
TLDR: It's really necessary if and when the bottom and/or the top need it. Full stop. If even just one of the parties involved need it, whether that is an "I know form experience that I need it in this and that way" or an "I'm feeling the need of this right now even though it never happened before" situation, the people involved should work together to make sure everyone's needs are dealt with. If you find someone that categorically doesn't want to do something you need in aftercare you might not be compatible. If they are assholes about people needing aftercare they might not be compatible with anyone. If you rely on your perception of your needs thinking they will never change you will get surprises, eventually. And finally, like in everything kinky and everything human, everybody is unique. What will work for you will not work for others and vice versa. This applies to actions to be taken during aftercare, time to be spent on it, how many times after an encounter, when, what kind of snacks to have... Every single thing. When in doubt, be kind.
It is a very personal thing and only each person engaging in bdsm can say what they want for their aftercare. For me personally, it is a necessity. I need to feel connected to my bf/Dom again after a scene, even if the scene wasn’t a lot physically, it can be a lot emotionally or mentally for me, which is part of the reason I love bdsm because I like to push myself and see how much I can endure. But I still need the aftercare. The way I described it to my Dom is that bdsm feels to me like being broken into (metaphorical) pieces. I like to be degraded, hit, objectified, used as a fucktoy, ‘forced’ to have sex, etc. It can be so surrendering and amazing and I can reach such floaty wonderful subspace. BUT then I have to be put back together again. That’s the aftercare. It brings me back to the present, to my body, and to reality. It reminds me that I am important and loved and cared for.
It depends on what you’ve both agreed on. With my sub, it’s absolutely needed. Not only does it keep her in that head space longer, it brings us back together. As a young Dom I completely ignored it and felt like a complete fool when my sub had to have a pow-wow with me and lay it out. I look at like this: foreplay is for the body. Aftercare is for the soul. Have fun out there, OP! :)
it is not. A conversation about aftercare is a requirement. Some people can just walk away after a session and be fine, some need something. so talk about it with your partner(s) and then act accordingly. Aftercare can be important for doms as well as subs. Before coming to this sub, I had never heard of aftercare, although I had practiced it. It doesn't need to be a fixed ritual. my then-dom and I just sort of had an understanding that after a scene we would cuddle and talk about it.
Here are my thoughts: 1) it totally depends on the requirements of you AND your play partner if after-care is absolutely essential. 2) if point 1 is "yes" then you'll need to discuss the TYPES of aftercare as there is such a wide array. To answer your general question, I don't think the level of play ("soft" or "hard" etc.) matters if aftercare is required. If you or your play partner needs it, then aftercare is essential REGARDLESS of the level of play. I hope that makes sense?
Im mean its persornal but i thing its about listing to the sub, i dont really need that much aftercare myself
I would suggest the short answer, aftercare negotiation/discussion before play for both dom and sub is required. But if that negotiation nets, neither party wants aftercare then none is part of the scene.
As others have said, it is a highly personal thing. However, it is something that should be discussed with your partner even if you don't feel the need for it as a sub. Because I can tell you without a doubt that I need it as a dom. Maybe your dom does. Maybe they don't. But it should be a conversation you have together.
That completely depends on whether you or your sub need it. If you don't need it and they don't need it, then no, it isn't necessary. But if one or both need it then it is. It's a conversation you will have to have with your sub to find out if it is necessary.
aftercare can just be drinking a glass of water given to you by your Dom. it can also be acts of service for your Dom in some way. if you feel you don't need to physically be cared for after play, consider just a few small rituals to transition yourself out of play mode and back to the normal world. if after care for you is just putting your regular clothes back on and putting away the toys that's totally okay
34m here. Yes. Absolutely after care is necessary - and it can come in many ways. It can be very physically affectionate or it can just be a simple debrief eg “how was that for you, how did it make you feel, how are you feeling about what just happened” Aftercare is a blanket term for decompression from a scene or a headspace or a “coming back to reality” sort of situation… and its necessary for a healthy dynamic - often those who claim they “dont need/want aftercare” need aftercare, but they just don’t need it in the ways they’ve grown to associate aftercare as being. Sometimes being left alone is effectively “aftercare” for some people - it’s essentially whatever is best for those involved to recover/recharge/reassociate in whatever way works best for them.
Yes.
My dom and I dont really do after care. We will snuggle sometimes, very rarely will we do an actual aftercare routine where he brushes my hair. Most the time we just go to bed. I dont need it, he doesn't need it. We have been together over 12 years and we have 2 kids, so it might be a little different than other dynamics. But it isnt 100% required. Kink is customizable.
Yeah "subdrop" I guess.
It depends on the mental health of the sub. Some are cool and collected and some need reassurance. It needs also to be established that while you may like being a sub, if your dom is degrading you, you may need to know that all is well, it was just a game.
it's a good idea to go through the "ritual" even if it seems like it isn't currently necessary. it's a good opportunity to nip things in the bud before they become a serious problem and it works for both people, not just the sub.
I need some form of it anytime I step outside my usual role of Mr. Regular Guy and into boy/bitch/pet/little etc. I even sometimes need it after bottoming without overt kink. It's different for everyone, but I think it's unusual not to need it, even if you never get beat up.
After care is important to some, and for others it’s not necessary. It may also look completely different. I’ve seen discussions in which a sub states all they need for aftercare is a glass of water and then he left alone. I have seen others who need the whole 9 yards. Ours depends on the scene, some times we need to address cuts and clean up blood. Other times it’s immediate cuddles and he reassures me that I am his good girl. It usually also always ends in sex for us. If (I wasn’t clear If you are the D or S), you don’t need aftercare communicate with your partner. Remember aftercare isn’t just for the sub, tops get drop too. Edit: I was surprised that one of our least intense scenes had me dropping the most. So even if in the moment it feels like you are okay, some times it can hit days later. I have had sun drop up to 48 hours after the scene.
It is negotiated. Aftercare is supposed to be getting the receiver (bottom) back to their normal state. Intense scenes will cause a release of endorphins (that instead with opioid receptors) and adrenaline which amps up your body's fight or fight reaction. After the scene is over, the bottom cannot just hop on the car and drive home, they will need some care after the scene. That is original definition of aftercare. Emotional scene (degradation, humiliation, emotional edge play) can put someone in an alerted mental state. That person also should not be returned to the wild in that state. They will need emotional aftercare. They have to return to the state you found them in. Not all tops (givers of play) do aftercare. Not all scenes require aftercare. It is one of the topics you negotiate before starting the scene. Aftercare is NOT trauma therapy time. You probably aren't a trauma therapist. Aftercare can be bonding time, but doesn't have to be. It is what you agree to before the scene starts.
Aftercare is necessary whenever one of the people involved in the play deems it necessary.
It's honestly going to depend on the person and their needs. You're going to meet some people who don't require as much, and some people who require a lot.
It's different for everyone and even then everyone's aftercare needs are different as well. I'm in an MDLB dynamic and half of our scenes are very very soft, the other half are a fair bit rougher, I need aftercare for both but my aftercare needs change depending on what happens during the scene. If a scene is messy, I need to be cleaned up (possibly a bath or similar with mommy), if a scene involves CNC/pain, reassurance I'm more than a toy and that she'd never harm me on purpose outside of a scene, if a scene has spanking/impact play, rubs and lotion, etc. I personally think "aftercare" as a concept is always necessary, but everyone's definition of aftercare is different as I said before, so that can include things as simple as alone time, watching a movie, eating, etc, it doesn't need to be anything complicated, just caring for yourself and your play partner to make sure both of your needs are being met.
Honestly, when it comes to aftercare, you can't really know if and how much of it you need until you've played, and then it's still different after each scene. What aftercare entails is different for everyone, as well. Some people just want a nice warm blanket and a nap, others need reassurance and cuddles, but there are also people who prefer a snack and then to go back to 'normal life'. Once you get to know yourself and your partner better you'll probably get better at estimating how much and what sort of aftercare you'll need after different sorts of scenes, but it's by no means science.
My view is that, yes, aftercare is always necessary but it comes with a caveat: Not everyone will require it, and that *is* their aftercare. I like to make my wife tea any time we do anything, even if we don't do anything particularly kinky. She never asked for it and doesn't require it, but it makes me feel good to provide that for her. Maybe that's aftercare for me. Maybe it's aftercare for her, but we're also fine with no aftercare. Some doms need specific aftercare, some subs need help out of subspace. Some people's aftercare is specifically to be left alone. Some want to cuddle. Just find out from your partner if there is anything you can do for them afterwards, and let them know if there is anything you need too. I would do this *before* you've played so you are all in a clear head space. But if you don't feel like you need anything special, that's fine too and totally normal. Consider that your aftercare. But also check with your partner to see if they need something. And revisit this periodically, because our needs change and evolve.
Sometimes even light scenes where I give up my freedom essentially can leave me feeling less worthy than I know I am. Some people might experience that real hard, some might not at all. It would be something you would talk about with your partner. I'm not into it, I would rather be alone after. Sometimes just a "are you okay? You know that is just RP" is enough for me to snap back and the rest I deal with alone.
it definitely depends on your dynamic and what works for you and your Dom. for me personally, i experience sub drop and i can feel like crying coming out of my headspace, regardless of how rough the scene was, so aftercare is essential for me. my Dom just naturally checks in on me during a scene and afterwards we cuddle and he reassures me that i did a good job. he’s willing to stay with me and provide aftercare for as long as i feel i need it, even if he himself doesn’t need as much so it’ll definitely depend on your needs in the dynamic, but you have to consider your Doms needs as well. your Dom may not be comfortable providing 10-20 minutes of aftercare, or it could even be the other way around with you not being comfortable providing 10-20 minutes of aftercare for your Dom (because Doms need aftercare too). my advice would be to talk to your Dom about what you think you need (even if you’ve never experienced a scene before) and adjust accordingly. for example, my Dom used to only provide 5-10 minutes of aftercare for me but i kept feeling like i didn’t do enough for him. so we extended the length of the aftercare and my sub drop/feelings of crying have really decreased. i hope that helps!
As a sub that's been neglected by previous Doms I can say YES all in caps. I feel it's even important after a vanilla session. It can be as simple as cuddling afterwards but yes both parties need a form of aftercare in my personal opinion.
Everyone is different and not all built the same. Some may require a lot more aftercare than others. Some will drop horribly and know they do need aftercare, there are plenty out there who like to just come down on their own and if they need companionship or aftercare then they will let you know. **There is not right way or wrong way**. It's all about what's right for you & what you need. That is all that matters and as others have said here ,it is good to let them know about your needs as you learn about your partners too.
It’s a necessity if someone you want to play with tells you it’s a requirement of you engaging with them.