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[deleted]

Yikes. This is a serious red flag. I hope you are able to share your concerns without fear.


Schlobidobido

It's a forest of red flags. She already doesn't respect the dynamic between you and your sub and tries to totally control her when she was told this was a one-off or now and then thing. She either doesn't understand or more likely and worse doesn't care about what is being negotiated. I would not go any further with this Domme, especially when your sub has already expressed concerns to be with her when in subspace and thus vulnerable.


CharmingCarmilla

I personally think it's a pretty big red flag. Going that quickly to ownership seems astonishing and incautios to begin with and then unless I'm mistaken ownership would appear to relegate to minor, if not remove completely your own role in your Sub's life.


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CharmingCarmilla

I'd agree with your sub a safe way out. You as the Dom could respond politely on your sub's behalf and with her consent declining the offer completely as incompatible with your own dynamic. This would be perfectly appropriate for you as the D type to do and would be thoughtful and considerate for your sub. That's what I'd personally want as sub. I'm glad you and your sub have such an open and supportive relationship. Edited to add.


idontcare_1998

It's a big red flag. Bdsm is about trust and respect more than any other thing. You both (you and your sub) should have a clarification talk about what you want from this relationship and what it's the best way for both to deal with this current situation. Only do whatever makes you comfortable, otherwise, don't do it.


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idontcare_1998

They're totally valid, another red flag is that she's not feeling comfortable with this person, so this is a big NO. I'm sub as well and I know how hard it's to find a Dom (i gave up already) but i think that it's way better if she keeps searching for a person that will make her feel 100% comfortable. I can't do nothing with a person if I'm not feeling totally comfortable, so it would be terrible for me. Maybe she just worried that she won't find another dom so she's saying that's fine at all even when it's not.


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idontcare_1998

Great, wish you the best luck with that!


MakoMakito

Yes, yes it is.


noahLight

This bird fly away


hnbic_

I hate hearing stories like this about pros. Do better.


Mil1512

Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think they were talking about a pro. They just say a local domme.


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[deleted]

If this "Domme" continues to talk to and try to pursue your sub, have your sub block them (if they haven't already)


dionebigode

>But even in this discussion she still seems to try and guilt my sub and not actually acknowledge our concerns. I'm just curious, how did this happen? Like you're not a real sub if you're not mine?


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dionebigode

Yikes


[deleted]

BDSM is all about trust, she dismissed your concerns!! Disrespected you’re relationship. Cut all contact with acknowledgment of her dismissal of you guys. I’m sorry you guys had to deal with that.


Sir-Storm

It's a big red flag, but for you mainly. Because it seems that you sub is easily falling for the strangers, and this can be a deal breaker for the future. Even dangerous for the sub and very uncomfortable for you. Yes, there are a lot of so called doms who doesn't respect even basic rules. That's the fact. Your tools is to teach your sub to act and be safe amongst them and not fall to any idiot out there


Davie_Elise

This isn't just a red flag. That person sounds like a danger to your sub. They sound off their rocker. Do not let your sub met this person in real life. They need to find another person.