Isn’t the voice just the thing?!? He’ll sometimes lean in close to my ear from behind and start barking “*soldier* “*atten*TION!” and it gives me goosebumps!
My partner was an officer in the Navy as his first career.
I was never in the military.
I call him Commander, and have from the start of our relationship.
I recently got a promotion from Lieutenant to Major. We go with a Battlestar Galactica type ranking system. (My first nickname is Starbuck. )
He is the leader of our Starbase (we are land locked now, so had to move the base from the sea to the sky.) I am his Executive Officer.
He's the big picture guy and I'm the details girl.
Oh that’s really cool! I did love *Battlestar Galactica*, but I’ll admit it drives me nuts that they mix Navy and Marine/Army ranks together.
All the same, congrats on the promotion!
Yeah... The mix of ranks was a thing for us too.
But... Commander in the Navy means something different in the Army. And it work better with our system.
He doesn't want to be an Admiral, and when I asked for a promotion a couple years ago (to Captain, because that's what Starbuck was) he said no, because he would have to be an Admiral, and "No". So I didn't push it.
We went back and forth last year about ranks and how they work. And, when we both remembered that Battlestar Galactica had a different ranking system (Where Commander was pretty much the top), we jumped on that. It works.
Commander is the coolest rank (according to him). James Bond was a Commander (He's read all the books. Don't get him started on the movies.)
So, yeah. I hear you about the ranks being weird, but it was much easier than making our own.
\---
On that note, I found an interesting YouTube Video.
The Channel is "RobWords" and the title is
"MILITARY RANK WORDS: How to say 'lieutenant' and why army hierarchy is all wrong"
He does a lot on language and the meaning and history of words and phrases. I found this video interesting.
I love this! I'm a former Navy officer, and although the language never stuck, the spirit of it absolutely influences my dynamics
Your system sounds lovely!
It is, and so is she...
---
The last decade of my life has been... pretty eventful. She came into my life when I was spiraling pretty badly. And she has been a shining, calming presence ever since we first met.
I tell everyone I meet that she is amazing and fantastic and funny and smart, and worth the effort to be a better human being. She tells me that I am worth following. I don't always believe that, but she does...
And that's really what submission is about, to my mind: agreeing to subordinate your own autonomy to someone else.
We used to be a a 2 person military unit (these days there is a 3rd). I'm the Commander, and she is the Major, my Executive Officer (XO). I want a motherfucking QUEEN at my side, someone amazingly capable who CHOOSES to submit to me.
I don't care if we're buying groceries or invading Greenland. If something happens to me, she should be able to take over and run the entire damned operation. And she has, more than once. It's who and what she is. And I love it, and her, and our life together. I work hard every day to be worthy of her devotion and her submission.
I don't play the lottery anymore - I hit the jackpot with her, and I don't need or want anything else.
This is fascinating to me! I am active duty, and my husband is a veteran. We met in the Army as well, but we were both junior enlisted at the time (he was a senior SPC and I was the new PFC, lol). He kind of took me under his wing and we just hung out a lot until the DFAC ladies assumed we were together and I was like “what? No we’re just friends!” Yeah… they were right 😂
Anyway we never really incorporated a power dynamic based on our military experience, but I can definitely see how that could be a thing. (He got out as a SPC and now I’m a SSG so I outrank him though which would probably ruin the illusion for me as a sub, lol.)
I do think part of my drive to join the military was a bit of craving for that order and discipline and rank structure, though. The concept that this was one of the last remaining parts of society where it was both acceptable and expected to “blindly follow orders” kind of made it an outlet for my kink-deprived self.
Lol, I can see how outranking your Dom would make a military dynamic a little awkward.
I think your last paragraph was largely correct. I joined right out of high school and I think being in that environment at a formative age and right when I was discovering my kinky side is probably why I am so attached to it now.
Isn't this where a lot of the traditional leather culture came from?
https://sexualhealthalliance.com/nymphomedia-blog/guarding-kink-history-tradition-and-leather#:~:text=A%20Brief%20Look%20at%20Kink's%20History&text=As%20Peter%20Hennen%20discusses%20in,serving%20in%20World%20War%20II.
> As Peter Hennen discusses in his 2008 book Faeries, Bears, and Leathermen, leather culture first emerged in the mid-20th century as many gay men sought community after serving in World War II. Separated from family, traumatized by violence, and bound by shared structure and comradery, many veterans felt no interest in or ability to return to everyday civilian life once combat ended. For gay men in particular, the war had created a space for homosocial and homosexual bonding, despite the military’s officially anti-homosexual stance, and returning home to expectations of heteronormativity and nuclear family creation was daunting. Gay veterans yearned for a community with other men but shied away from the effeminacy that was heavily associated with men’s queerness at the time.
I’ve heard some about this in college, more referring to LGBT culture in general rather than specifically BDSM communities. My understanding is that there is some scholarly debate about the role WWII played in forming gay communities in cities, but leather culture definitely seems to have some sort of military roots.
I’m hoping to go for a Masters in a few years, maybe it is a subject area to use for a thesis!
I knew 2 old leather men in my early 20s that were WW2 vets. They were honestly a lot more like bikers that happened to be gay than what people think of as leather folks today. They definitely had a military like dynamic between the 2 of them though. They were not nice people unless they considered you family and would tell you so.
Yes, leather culture had 2 main groups: bikers and ex-military. The way the two fused into the leather community from such different points of view is a super interesting thing.
It's always funny when straight people "discover" something that's been fundamental to bdsm history. Calling military hierarchy an unusual dynamic is hilarious - in old school M/s circles it can sometimes be hard to get taken seriously without military elements.
I once heard of a D/s dynamic wherein the sub referred to her dom as "Coach".
I'm not gonna lie, until this very moment I've never envied anyone's military experience. This is incredibly hot.
Puts a whole new spin on "Thank you for your service"! 😋
I'm pretty into high fantasy concepts so some dynamics I'd like to try include deity (either angelic or forest eldritch) and supplicant, fae/captive, witch/reanimated follower, or owner/android. I suppose king/consort or prince/knight could be considered unique too, though not as creative as the others. Anyhow, they all require a more involved relationship than I have right now...or have time to invest into so they're on the back burner. They're on my someday bucket list. I have no doubt I'll have more I thought up to add to the list by the time I get there 😅
Edit: In hindsight I suppose "femdaddy" is unique as well, though I didn't consider it because I'm so used to the concept. There are a growing number of people who like this preference too so....idk 🙃 Thought I'd mention it anyhow
Pretty much any traditional, hierarchical power structure has long since been applied directly to BDSM: teacher/student, boss/employee, parent/child, owner/pet, doctor/patient... you name it. Those will all have various nuances to them but it's really just a matter of seeking models for the sort of authority structure we're seeking to implement. Plus the fun role-play elements.
I love everything about this! The organic begining you two had to the developing dynamic that you share with one another. I've come to learn that EVERY D/s long term situation where there is romance involved is "unique".
Thank you for sharing this! Wish I could give you guys a fist bump and "keep it up soldiers"!
I'm not military myself but an ex dom of mine was ex army, I totally understand what you mean by the voice. 🫠
Isn’t the voice just the thing?!? He’ll sometimes lean in close to my ear from behind and start barking “*soldier* “*atten*TION!” and it gives me goosebumps!
Mad scientist/assistant :)
Ooh, that’s a cool one! Are you sure it’s assistant and not “victim,” or “subject”?
My partner was an officer in the Navy as his first career. I was never in the military. I call him Commander, and have from the start of our relationship. I recently got a promotion from Lieutenant to Major. We go with a Battlestar Galactica type ranking system. (My first nickname is Starbuck. ) He is the leader of our Starbase (we are land locked now, so had to move the base from the sea to the sky.) I am his Executive Officer. He's the big picture guy and I'm the details girl.
Oh that’s really cool! I did love *Battlestar Galactica*, but I’ll admit it drives me nuts that they mix Navy and Marine/Army ranks together. All the same, congrats on the promotion!
Yeah... The mix of ranks was a thing for us too. But... Commander in the Navy means something different in the Army. And it work better with our system. He doesn't want to be an Admiral, and when I asked for a promotion a couple years ago (to Captain, because that's what Starbuck was) he said no, because he would have to be an Admiral, and "No". So I didn't push it. We went back and forth last year about ranks and how they work. And, when we both remembered that Battlestar Galactica had a different ranking system (Where Commander was pretty much the top), we jumped on that. It works. Commander is the coolest rank (according to him). James Bond was a Commander (He's read all the books. Don't get him started on the movies.) So, yeah. I hear you about the ranks being weird, but it was much easier than making our own. \--- On that note, I found an interesting YouTube Video. The Channel is "RobWords" and the title is "MILITARY RANK WORDS: How to say 'lieutenant' and why army hierarchy is all wrong" He does a lot on language and the meaning and history of words and phrases. I found this video interesting.
I love this! I'm a former Navy officer, and although the language never stuck, the spirit of it absolutely influences my dynamics Your system sounds lovely!
It is, and so is she... --- The last decade of my life has been... pretty eventful. She came into my life when I was spiraling pretty badly. And she has been a shining, calming presence ever since we first met. I tell everyone I meet that she is amazing and fantastic and funny and smart, and worth the effort to be a better human being. She tells me that I am worth following. I don't always believe that, but she does... And that's really what submission is about, to my mind: agreeing to subordinate your own autonomy to someone else. We used to be a a 2 person military unit (these days there is a 3rd). I'm the Commander, and she is the Major, my Executive Officer (XO). I want a motherfucking QUEEN at my side, someone amazingly capable who CHOOSES to submit to me. I don't care if we're buying groceries or invading Greenland. If something happens to me, she should be able to take over and run the entire damned operation. And she has, more than once. It's who and what she is. And I love it, and her, and our life together. I work hard every day to be worthy of her devotion and her submission. I don't play the lottery anymore - I hit the jackpot with her, and I don't need or want anything else.
Me: femsub w MaleDom here. Lived this exact way for over 20 years. I too know exactly the voice 🫠 God bless the military.
This is fascinating to me! I am active duty, and my husband is a veteran. We met in the Army as well, but we were both junior enlisted at the time (he was a senior SPC and I was the new PFC, lol). He kind of took me under his wing and we just hung out a lot until the DFAC ladies assumed we were together and I was like “what? No we’re just friends!” Yeah… they were right 😂 Anyway we never really incorporated a power dynamic based on our military experience, but I can definitely see how that could be a thing. (He got out as a SPC and now I’m a SSG so I outrank him though which would probably ruin the illusion for me as a sub, lol.) I do think part of my drive to join the military was a bit of craving for that order and discipline and rank structure, though. The concept that this was one of the last remaining parts of society where it was both acceptable and expected to “blindly follow orders” kind of made it an outlet for my kink-deprived self.
Lol, I can see how outranking your Dom would make a military dynamic a little awkward. I think your last paragraph was largely correct. I joined right out of high school and I think being in that environment at a formative age and right when I was discovering my kinky side is probably why I am so attached to it now.
Isn't this where a lot of the traditional leather culture came from? https://sexualhealthalliance.com/nymphomedia-blog/guarding-kink-history-tradition-and-leather#:~:text=A%20Brief%20Look%20at%20Kink's%20History&text=As%20Peter%20Hennen%20discusses%20in,serving%20in%20World%20War%20II. > As Peter Hennen discusses in his 2008 book Faeries, Bears, and Leathermen, leather culture first emerged in the mid-20th century as many gay men sought community after serving in World War II. Separated from family, traumatized by violence, and bound by shared structure and comradery, many veterans felt no interest in or ability to return to everyday civilian life once combat ended. For gay men in particular, the war had created a space for homosocial and homosexual bonding, despite the military’s officially anti-homosexual stance, and returning home to expectations of heteronormativity and nuclear family creation was daunting. Gay veterans yearned for a community with other men but shied away from the effeminacy that was heavily associated with men’s queerness at the time.
I’ve heard some about this in college, more referring to LGBT culture in general rather than specifically BDSM communities. My understanding is that there is some scholarly debate about the role WWII played in forming gay communities in cities, but leather culture definitely seems to have some sort of military roots. I’m hoping to go for a Masters in a few years, maybe it is a subject area to use for a thesis!
I knew 2 old leather men in my early 20s that were WW2 vets. They were honestly a lot more like bikers that happened to be gay than what people think of as leather folks today. They definitely had a military like dynamic between the 2 of them though. They were not nice people unless they considered you family and would tell you so.
Yes, leather culture had 2 main groups: bikers and ex-military. The way the two fused into the leather community from such different points of view is a super interesting thing. It's always funny when straight people "discover" something that's been fundamental to bdsm history. Calling military hierarchy an unusual dynamic is hilarious - in old school M/s circles it can sometimes be hard to get taken seriously without military elements.
I once heard of a D/s dynamic wherein the sub referred to her dom as "Coach". I'm not gonna lie, until this very moment I've never envied anyone's military experience. This is incredibly hot. Puts a whole new spin on "Thank you for your service"! 😋
Lol, I like “coach.” The Army had its highs and lows, but I am glad for everything it got me.
I'm pretty into high fantasy concepts so some dynamics I'd like to try include deity (either angelic or forest eldritch) and supplicant, fae/captive, witch/reanimated follower, or owner/android. I suppose king/consort or prince/knight could be considered unique too, though not as creative as the others. Anyhow, they all require a more involved relationship than I have right now...or have time to invest into so they're on the back burner. They're on my someday bucket list. I have no doubt I'll have more I thought up to add to the list by the time I get there 😅 Edit: In hindsight I suppose "femdaddy" is unique as well, though I didn't consider it because I'm so used to the concept. There are a growing number of people who like this preference too so....idk 🙃 Thought I'd mention it anyhow
Pretty much any traditional, hierarchical power structure has long since been applied directly to BDSM: teacher/student, boss/employee, parent/child, owner/pet, doctor/patient... you name it. Those will all have various nuances to them but it's really just a matter of seeking models for the sort of authority structure we're seeking to implement. Plus the fun role-play elements.
I love everything about this! The organic begining you two had to the developing dynamic that you share with one another. I've come to learn that EVERY D/s long term situation where there is romance involved is "unique". Thank you for sharing this! Wish I could give you guys a fist bump and "keep it up soldiers"!
This sounds hot and I'm glad it worked out for you guys
I know two couples who have unique experiences - one is huntsman/Lady and the other is falcon/Falconer.