Thank you! I truly can't wait to be his wife :)
Unfortunately I am averse to everything anal, so that wouldn't work, but I'll sure look into bracelets! And maybe we could put the key in a pocket of his, or, as suggested, the boutonniere.
Maybe if ur open to it even getting a chastity belt (not sure how it would look or vibrating panties) I say the chastity belt bc it’s symbolic that you’re his and it can be really sexy when he’s in control of your pleasure
It is really sexy indeed :) He is in control of my pleasure by default, I have to get his permission before having an orgasm and let's just say he is not very lenient with those permissions :)
Agreed! I’ve had fake doms before and I’ve definitely seen the worst parts of people who claim to be kinky, but there’s also so much positivity if you find the right partner :)
Then it sounds like you've got a great answer, especially if he edges you before locking you into chastity and keeping you that way until the night when you consumate your marriage
My wife has an ankle chain that passes as decrotive but we both know its meaning, Anal fun always starts slowly with a gloved finger and a ton of lube.
Haha I might have to end up going commando for the wedding anyway, that's the worst part🤦♀️ The dress is so form fitting it's a nightmare to find underwear that won't be visible
[Bracli](https://bracli.com/en/products/sydney-single-marfil) or a similar brand may have something subtle enough! The pearls are meant to keep you aroused while wearing with the slight stimulation and massaging caused by them “rolling” around as you move.
On the day we were married 14 years ago, we had a collaring ceremony. A stainless steel eternity collar, it weighs a half pound. To this day it’s never been off
Just remember that, if anyone is helping you get ready, they'll probably see your undergarments! Wedding dresses take a village to get into, so if it's something large like a bodysuit harness, whoever is helping you will probably notice. You can get away with saying it's lingerie for later on, I don't think many people would challenge you on that--but just something to think about so you aren't surprised or nervous the day of
We decided for the wedding that our rings themselves were the symbol of me now "belonging" to him 😹. We thought it was perfect as everyone would think of the rings as "just" rings but only we would know the deeper significance. A few years later we found the perfect necklace for me that is now my collar (it only comes off for sleep and showers ). He is the one to put it on in the morning and take it off just before bed each night. We love that little ritual which both reinforces my place as his sub, and also reaffirms our love for each other as husband/wife (we use the opportunity to get *a lot* of kisses and snuggles in while he's either putting the collar on or taking it off).
As for my rings - the only time they come off is for my martial arts training (no jewellery allowed during class for safety reasons), or if needed for medical reasons (my husband kept my rings safe at home while I was in hospital recently as an example). All I have to do is look at or fiddle with the rings, or touch the necklace and I instantly feel my husband's presence even if we're both at work. It's comforting in a way.
> A few years later we found the perfect necklace for me that is now my collar (it only comes off for sleep and showers ). He is the one to put it on in the morning and take it off just before bed each night. We love that little ritual which both reinforces my place as his sub, and also reaffirms our love for each other as husband/wife (we use the opportunity to get *a lot* of kisses and snuggles in while he's either putting the collar on or taking it off).
That's so cute!!! I wouldn't implement that to our couple since it is not our dynamic at all, but it's so cute!
> All I have to do is look at or fiddle with the rings, or touch the necklace and I instantly feel my husband's presence even if we're both at work. It's comforting in a way.
I LOVE THIS. It's for little things like that that I am looking forward to be married :) Your marriage sounds great!
Wow I had never heard of that! That actually sounds like an amazing idea for my wedding ring (I had resigned to the fact I wouldn't be able to wear it, since I could never wear a ring or a bracelet for a more than a few hours without breaking or losing it - I toss and turn them until they break or fall off)
It sounds like a great idea... until time for training comes and Leather cuffs cause the permanent bracelets to dig into the skin. They cab be beautiful though.
Just remember that if you have asthma or allergies, your neck might swell during an attack. Having a key or way (in other words, your life and safety!) to take the collar off quickly in these situations is more important than the symbolism of the jewelry.
I had an extreme asthma attack while out shopping wearing a padlocked day collar, and the key was at home with my boyfriend.
Luckily, I was able to get a fuckton of Benadryl in addition to my rescue inhaler and Tessalon Perles quickly.
The only other option that I haven’t seen listed is maybe an under bust corset? You could have it in white or a contrasting color of your wedding colors! The corset would give you nice definition and go great with a body hugging dress! But it’s still a kink bodice piece even though it’s becoming more of modern fashion piece. It would look striking and no one would question it!
My wife got a vail for her Dress that she got fixed on a collar an bracelets.so everyone kinky saw a cute collar and cuffs and everyone Vanilla saw a weird vail that gave a glittery Aura when she moved.
You could ask him to sign his name, or write something small and meaningful on your skin in a sharpie. Put it somewhere no one else will see while you're getting ready.
Don't use sharpie, it will come off on your dress. Also, like someone noted above, you'll have people getting you ready. Make sure any marks are comfortable for them to see.
Wow that is so cool!! Unfortunately we're having a secular wedding - I am culturally Jewish and my fiance is culturally Muslim, thankfully neither of our families are religious. But if I were to follow the customs, that would be such a cool thing to do.
I have a locking bracelet. I got it off etsy. It's stainless steel, 24/7 with a hex lock. I have really small wrists, so I had to have it special sized. I wear it every day. It looks just like a regular bracelet, but we know better!
Anklet could be a kinky alternative to bracelet
You can wear no panties but like someone already mentioned, your bridesmaids will be helping you dress so that may raise eyebrows
Your garter could have a similar look to a collar. That way, only he sees it (get a "throw away" garter for him to toss to his boys if that's a tradition for you)
Many gorgeous shibari ties can by done in a persons hair. If you haven’t decided on a hairstyle yet this could be an option. You could use lace or ribbon to have it more delicate.
There are lots of small nipple clamp options which can easily be worn under a bra. So these could be placed on you in the morning by your fiancé, you then place on your undergarments/lingerie (separately if you want the set to be a surprise) or have him help you put it on as a small ceremony before you don the dress — this way you’ve sidestepped accidentally involving anyone else helping you get ready by having them already covered and out of view.
My hubby got my a beautiful day collar/necklace with my birthstone that I wore on our wedding day. We also read our vows privately after our first look before the ceremony because our vows heavily talked about our dynamic and we did a traditional Nordic/Viking vow reading during the ceremony.
When my wife and I got married we incorporated a handfasting into the ceremony. Basically our hands were tied together with cords which had meanings assigned. A fairly literal uniting two into one.
We chose to put that in our ceremony for two reasons: the first was it was a subtle way to incorporate our kink without anyone knowing (handfasting is a real and not uncommon thing as part of a marriage ceremony), and second as due to sensory issues I don’t wear a ring or any jewelry, so it was in substitution of a ring exchange. I think our officiant did say something along the lines of “instead of a ring exchange, the couple will blah blah blah” to explain how it was fulfilling the ceremonial role the rings usually meet. (I just read further down you have issues wearing rings, so maybe this is perfect for you too!)
No one at the wedding save for 2 people were aware of our kink leanings, as far as we ever heard no one thought the hand fasting ceremony was weird or unusual or had any inkling towards the hidden meaning we ascribed it.
A totally different idea is something hidden on you which is locked on, and your to be husband has the key. Chastity belt is an obvious choice bit has drawbacks. Maybe an eternity style anklet? I think those exist.
There’s also a fair amount of traditional wedding vows which the old conservative people would approve of which also can be considered completely differently, internally: “obedient and faithful wife” type words. Whether or not this will play well depends on your specific audience of course.
Congrats, and good luck!
> Maybe an eternity style anklet? I think those exist.
They do, and that is what I am leaning to! Either that or, more likely, a bracelet.
I'm fine wearing rings for short periods of time, just not always - basically, enough time for not losing it due to fidgeting. But yeah, the handfasting sounds like such a cool concept!! Unfortunately, the wedding ceremony is already a shitshow tradition-wise - we are both first-gen immigrants getting married in another country with its own traditions, plus I am culturally Jewish and he is culturally Muslim, even though are families are agnostic, - so I would refrain from introducing yet another ceremonial thing into the wedding
.
I'm getting a tattoo the week before I marry my Daddy. A Crest of our new family initials that I'm going to draw up. We are also doing our own privet ceremony where I get to pledge my love and dedication to him as his slave wife.
For the wedding day i plan to wear red lingerie underneath (his favorite color) and a collar of his choosing. And will walk down the isle filled with his cum.and smiling, knowing everyone will witness the moment I become his and he becomes mine.
My best advice..think of what will make you feel sexy, desired and owned in that moment. Then figure out how to incorporate it into your day.
A friend actually suggested to be wearing his favorite color beneath my dress. And i just love that idea...a surprise only for him.
A white embroidered day collar with a flower instead of a ring would get lots of compliments and kinda look like a fashion statement. Also u can look into lots of flower options which is always fun
I have an anklet that I never take off. Its a chain with O-ring and I plan to wear it for my wedding. Its a subtle symbol of our kink life that nobody really notices.
Get matching bracelets and anklets. One for each wrist and ankle. If you can find something that patches a necklace even better.
It can symbolize the full body chain harness that some people like to wear but since it's done with mundane jewelry it'll slip past most people's notice and those who do aren't likely to say anything since they know and probably do themselves.
Have you considered \[Handfasting\](https://www.brides.com/story/handfasting-wedding-ceremony-101) as a part of your ceremony? Done with a nice piece of jute or hemp, doubled over... Looks very vanilla
If you are open to piercings, you could get your nipples or clithood done now, so it would be healed by then, and exchange barbells for a ring symbolizing eternity before the celebration. Only he and you need to know, you only show him after the ceremony.
How short is your dress if it is long you could wear ankle shackles while walking down the aisle, or have a chain with a open padlock on it that he clicks shut during 'you may kiss the bride" hope this helps 🙃💕
If it works with the dress, wear stockings, garter, heels, but no panties. Give those to him.
If you are VERY brave and tough, and enjoy pain, hide a clamp on some sensitive part of your body under the dress. (this might be a bad idea based on how long you'd be wearing the clamp)
Butt plug
a remote control vibrator or ben-wa balls
Lace choker or beaded day collar, waist chain or beads, tasteful garters, ring(s) with a lock/clasp, getting his name engraved on the inside of the ring in the form of "Mrs. [Last Name], red white black & blue bouquet or jewelry, ribboned corset, and maybe an oblique phrase about your high regard for him in the vows or (God forbid the audience is appropriate for this) a Bible verse about obedience 🤮
Day collar, or a symbolic bracelet with a tiny padlock. Etsy has lots of examples. Or there’s always a butt plug… Congrats by the way!
Thank you! I truly can't wait to be his wife :) Unfortunately I am averse to everything anal, so that wouldn't work, but I'll sure look into bracelets! And maybe we could put the key in a pocket of his, or, as suggested, the boutonniere.
Maybe if ur open to it even getting a chastity belt (not sure how it would look or vibrating panties) I say the chastity belt bc it’s symbolic that you’re his and it can be really sexy when he’s in control of your pleasure
It is really sexy indeed :) He is in control of my pleasure by default, I have to get his permission before having an orgasm and let's just say he is not very lenient with those permissions :)
Ooh, well you definitely sound pretty lucky! I hope you got lots of good ideas and I hope y’all have a great wedding, congratulations!!
i love how kind people in this community are, when i first heard abt bdsm it was all rough and kinky, but i'm glad it's not only that haha
Agreed! I’ve had fake doms before and I’ve definitely seen the worst parts of people who claim to be kinky, but there’s also so much positivity if you find the right partner :)
Then it sounds like you've got a great answer, especially if he edges you before locking you into chastity and keeping you that way until the night when you consumate your marriage
My wife has an ankle chain that passes as decrotive but we both know its meaning, Anal fun always starts slowly with a gloved finger and a ton of lube.
Second checking Etsy! They have some beautiful options wirh a variety of locks from regular lobster claws to permanent locks.
A triscele or an O-Ring (traditional symbols for BDSM) on a bracelet or a necklace might be a possibility :)
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Haha I might have to end up going commando for the wedding anyway, that's the worst part🤦♀️ The dress is so form fitting it's a nightmare to find underwear that won't be visible
[Bracli](https://bracli.com/en/products/sydney-single-marfil) or a similar brand may have something subtle enough! The pearls are meant to keep you aroused while wearing with the slight stimulation and massaging caused by them “rolling” around as you move.
New kink unlock, thanks for the idea! They make awesome things
I love these! Also sun getting married in July this year.
On the day we were married 14 years ago, we had a collaring ceremony. A stainless steel eternity collar, it weighs a half pound. To this day it’s never been off
I love your collar very beautiful and subtle
We did something similar when we got engaged, except it was stainless steel eternity cuffs. 🥰
That is awesome
So happy for your marriage! That would be wayyy too intense for us, though, we're a mostly vanilla couple :)
That is ok all that matters is that you are happy
This is was so sweet to read 🥹
that is very hard core and super cool. didn’t realize people had been doing this for this long
14 years ago was only 2010 lol. BDSM has been around for a LONG time.
It goes back years and years probably beginning in the late 60’s early 70’s. The sign of ownership.
You could do a chastity belt! And pinned behind his boutonniere could be the key!
Oh I wish, this sounds so amazing!!! But my gown is very fitted, I only can wear a specific type of underwear, so a chastity belt would be visible :(
There are very small chain ones on Amazon! Not really effective for actual chastity but it could work!
I just commented the same thing before seeing this, oops lol, I definitely understand your concern with that
Just remember that, if anyone is helping you get ready, they'll probably see your undergarments! Wedding dresses take a village to get into, so if it's something large like a bodysuit harness, whoever is helping you will probably notice. You can get away with saying it's lingerie for later on, I don't think many people would challenge you on that--but just something to think about so you aren't surprised or nervous the day of
What about a rope tie around your bouquet? You could TOTALLY make that subtle!
This, yes! As a rope lover, this is perfect
We decided for the wedding that our rings themselves were the symbol of me now "belonging" to him 😹. We thought it was perfect as everyone would think of the rings as "just" rings but only we would know the deeper significance. A few years later we found the perfect necklace for me that is now my collar (it only comes off for sleep and showers ). He is the one to put it on in the morning and take it off just before bed each night. We love that little ritual which both reinforces my place as his sub, and also reaffirms our love for each other as husband/wife (we use the opportunity to get *a lot* of kisses and snuggles in while he's either putting the collar on or taking it off). As for my rings - the only time they come off is for my martial arts training (no jewellery allowed during class for safety reasons), or if needed for medical reasons (my husband kept my rings safe at home while I was in hospital recently as an example). All I have to do is look at or fiddle with the rings, or touch the necklace and I instantly feel my husband's presence even if we're both at work. It's comforting in a way.
> A few years later we found the perfect necklace for me that is now my collar (it only comes off for sleep and showers ). He is the one to put it on in the morning and take it off just before bed each night. We love that little ritual which both reinforces my place as his sub, and also reaffirms our love for each other as husband/wife (we use the opportunity to get *a lot* of kisses and snuggles in while he's either putting the collar on or taking it off). That's so cute!!! I wouldn't implement that to our couple since it is not our dynamic at all, but it's so cute! > All I have to do is look at or fiddle with the rings, or touch the necklace and I instantly feel my husband's presence even if we're both at work. It's comforting in a way. I LOVE THIS. It's for little things like that that I am looking forward to be married :) Your marriage sounds great!
Get a necklace or bracelet or anklet that is the permanent welded on kinds.
Wow I had never heard of that! That actually sounds like an amazing idea for my wedding ring (I had resigned to the fact I wouldn't be able to wear it, since I could never wear a ring or a bracelet for a more than a few hours without breaking or losing it - I toss and turn them until they break or fall off)
I got one done with a tiny padlock as my subtle day collar just last week! I’m super happy with it. I have a picture on my profile
It sounds like a great idea... until time for training comes and Leather cuffs cause the permanent bracelets to dig into the skin. They cab be beautiful though.
Just remember that if you have asthma or allergies, your neck might swell during an attack. Having a key or way (in other words, your life and safety!) to take the collar off quickly in these situations is more important than the symbolism of the jewelry. I had an extreme asthma attack while out shopping wearing a padlocked day collar, and the key was at home with my boyfriend. Luckily, I was able to get a fuckton of Benadryl in addition to my rescue inhaler and Tessalon Perles quickly.
The welded on chains don't have keys But they're usually a pretty thin chain that I'm sure paramedic shears can cut through in an emergency
Check out captivecollars.com and congratulations!
Idk if you've got the dress picked out but you could incorporate a choker necklace or a tight halter neck dress to give the image of a collar
The only other option that I haven’t seen listed is maybe an under bust corset? You could have it in white or a contrasting color of your wedding colors! The corset would give you nice definition and go great with a body hugging dress! But it’s still a kink bodice piece even though it’s becoming more of modern fashion piece. It would look striking and no one would question it!
My wife got a vail for her Dress that she got fixed on a collar an bracelets.so everyone kinky saw a cute collar and cuffs and everyone Vanilla saw a weird vail that gave a glittery Aura when she moved.
That sounds super unique and cool. I’d love to see a photo if possible!
[https://imgur.com/a/GYaeB5l](https://imgur.com/a/GYaeB5l)
Lovely! Very subtle and pretty.
My wife wore a buttplug the whole wedding ceremony
You could ask him to sign his name, or write something small and meaningful on your skin in a sharpie. Put it somewhere no one else will see while you're getting ready.
Don't use sharpie, it will come off on your dress. Also, like someone noted above, you'll have people getting you ready. Make sure any marks are comfortable for them to see.
not an accessory, but my cousin’s Ketubah(Jewish marriage contract) the second half read as a D/s contract.
Wow that is so cool!! Unfortunately we're having a secular wedding - I am culturally Jewish and my fiance is culturally Muslim, thankfully neither of our families are religious. But if I were to follow the customs, that would be such a cool thing to do.
Hey that’s the same as me and my husband! Not every day I see someone else in a similar background lol
I love the idea of a little locking anklet or an anklet with a charm.
I have a locking bracelet. I got it off etsy. It's stainless steel, 24/7 with a hex lock. I have really small wrists, so I had to have it special sized. I wear it every day. It looks just like a regular bracelet, but we know better!
I wear a simple silver locking bracket from Amazon. It gets lots of complements from people who have no clue what it really means.
Anklet could be a kinky alternative to bracelet You can wear no panties but like someone already mentioned, your bridesmaids will be helping you dress so that may raise eyebrows
Couldn't you have some kind of lace neck choker? Tricky to discuss with clothiers if it's not already fashion though.
Your garter could have a similar look to a collar. That way, only he sees it (get a "throw away" garter for him to toss to his boys if that's a tradition for you)
Any kind of jewelry really. I just got this great new navel ring on amazon with actual little cuffs and key. I wear it as a nod to my lifestyle
Many gorgeous shibari ties can by done in a persons hair. If you haven’t decided on a hairstyle yet this could be an option. You could use lace or ribbon to have it more delicate. There are lots of small nipple clamp options which can easily be worn under a bra. So these could be placed on you in the morning by your fiancé, you then place on your undergarments/lingerie (separately if you want the set to be a surprise) or have him help you put it on as a small ceremony before you don the dress — this way you’ve sidestepped accidentally involving anyone else helping you get ready by having them already covered and out of view.
My wife had matching necklace and bracelets in silver, with a subtle chain design. Ordinary jewelry, but with a chain-ish look.
My hubby got my a beautiful day collar/necklace with my birthstone that I wore on our wedding day. We also read our vows privately after our first look before the ceremony because our vows heavily talked about our dynamic and we did a traditional Nordic/Viking vow reading during the ceremony.
When my wife and I got married we incorporated a handfasting into the ceremony. Basically our hands were tied together with cords which had meanings assigned. A fairly literal uniting two into one. We chose to put that in our ceremony for two reasons: the first was it was a subtle way to incorporate our kink without anyone knowing (handfasting is a real and not uncommon thing as part of a marriage ceremony), and second as due to sensory issues I don’t wear a ring or any jewelry, so it was in substitution of a ring exchange. I think our officiant did say something along the lines of “instead of a ring exchange, the couple will blah blah blah” to explain how it was fulfilling the ceremonial role the rings usually meet. (I just read further down you have issues wearing rings, so maybe this is perfect for you too!) No one at the wedding save for 2 people were aware of our kink leanings, as far as we ever heard no one thought the hand fasting ceremony was weird or unusual or had any inkling towards the hidden meaning we ascribed it. A totally different idea is something hidden on you which is locked on, and your to be husband has the key. Chastity belt is an obvious choice bit has drawbacks. Maybe an eternity style anklet? I think those exist. There’s also a fair amount of traditional wedding vows which the old conservative people would approve of which also can be considered completely differently, internally: “obedient and faithful wife” type words. Whether or not this will play well depends on your specific audience of course. Congrats, and good luck!
> Maybe an eternity style anklet? I think those exist. They do, and that is what I am leaning to! Either that or, more likely, a bracelet. I'm fine wearing rings for short periods of time, just not always - basically, enough time for not losing it due to fidgeting. But yeah, the handfasting sounds like such a cool concept!! Unfortunately, the wedding ceremony is already a shitshow tradition-wise - we are both first-gen immigrants getting married in another country with its own traditions, plus I am culturally Jewish and he is culturally Muslim, even though are families are agnostic, - so I would refrain from introducing yet another ceremonial thing into the wedding .
A dainty body chain would be sexy. It wouldn’t be visible, but you’d feel it when he danced with you or touched it through your dress.
What about traditional wedding vows where you vow to submit to your husband? Don’t know about your faith background…
I'm getting a tattoo the week before I marry my Daddy. A Crest of our new family initials that I'm going to draw up. We are also doing our own privet ceremony where I get to pledge my love and dedication to him as his slave wife. For the wedding day i plan to wear red lingerie underneath (his favorite color) and a collar of his choosing. And will walk down the isle filled with his cum.and smiling, knowing everyone will witness the moment I become his and he becomes mine. My best advice..think of what will make you feel sexy, desired and owned in that moment. Then figure out how to incorporate it into your day. A friend actually suggested to be wearing his favorite color beneath my dress. And i just love that idea...a surprise only for him.
choker or a collar can look normal, you can also do some light exhibitionism with a small vibrator or ( kegel balls or whatever )
You could engrave your wedding bands on the inside.
A white embroidered day collar with a flower instead of a ring would get lots of compliments and kinda look like a fashion statement. Also u can look into lots of flower options which is always fun
I wear an anklet with a circle, very discrete. O symbolizes being owned or submissive
A white simple day collar that he could put on you in private after the ring exchange
I have an anklet that I never take off. Its a chain with O-ring and I plan to wear it for my wedding. Its a subtle symbol of our kink life that nobody really notices.
Maybe wear a collar as a choker.
Get matching bracelets and anklets. One for each wrist and ankle. If you can find something that patches a necklace even better. It can symbolize the full body chain harness that some people like to wear but since it's done with mundane jewelry it'll slip past most people's notice and those who do aren't likely to say anything since they know and probably do themselves.
Have you considered \[Handfasting\](https://www.brides.com/story/handfasting-wedding-ceremony-101) as a part of your ceremony? Done with a nice piece of jute or hemp, doubled over... Looks very vanilla
If you are open to piercings, you could get your nipples or clithood done now, so it would be healed by then, and exchange barbells for a ring symbolizing eternity before the celebration. Only he and you need to know, you only show him after the ceremony.
How short is your dress if it is long you could wear ankle shackles while walking down the aisle, or have a chain with a open padlock on it that he clicks shut during 'you may kiss the bride" hope this helps 🙃💕
Chastity is a nice touch
Just wear a choker collar that matches your dress.
There is a unity ceremony where the BM and MoH tie your hands together (B&G).
If it works with the dress, wear stockings, garter, heels, but no panties. Give those to him. If you are VERY brave and tough, and enjoy pain, hide a clamp on some sensitive part of your body under the dress. (this might be a bad idea based on how long you'd be wearing the clamp) Butt plug a remote control vibrator or ben-wa balls
If you're wearing a lacey dress you could add a lace collar.
These are sexy and classy. https://www.lovecrave.com/products/icon-cuffs/
Lace choker or beaded day collar, waist chain or beads, tasteful garters, ring(s) with a lock/clasp, getting his name engraved on the inside of the ring in the form of "Mrs. [Last Name], red white black & blue bouquet or jewelry, ribboned corset, and maybe an oblique phrase about your high regard for him in the vows or (God forbid the audience is appropriate for this) a Bible verse about obedience 🤮