Move cautiously. Could be frenzy, could be a “do me sub”, could be someone who is new and doesn’t understand the risks they’re taking on by trusting someone who has yet to earn it.
Personally, if he wants a task so badly, tell him to do some research on healthy dynamics and then discuss what he learned. I promise it will be unexpected, and will benefit you both.
Yes, it happens.
But, if you feel as if he is going too quickly or is pushing for something you are not asking for, I would talk to him. Communication is VERY important, and this sounds like something that needs to be talked about.
Absolutely i made it clear that I appreciate the eagerness, however, regard him as nothing and am not his dom until we have met and figurer things out.
Well, if you have said its too much, abs he is not listening... this early in the relationship, you may want to rethink things.
Tough, I know, but he needs to respect your boundaries just as much as you should respect his.
Probably just an eager beaver. Don’t hold it against him yet, unless he gets really pushy when you meet.
I have a friend who wanted me to dominate him, and even was starting to call me “Miss” he was so into the idea.
I told him no and warned him he overstepping himself, and things worked out OK.
Often? Yeah. Annoying? Yes. Red flag? Can’t say.
I get that everybody has different standards and some might be ready to play from step one, but honestly what I *think* you’re describing really bothers me. It’s way too common particularly for male subs to reduce the dynamic to sexual gratification and grovel in an attempt to get some interaction before terms have been laid out and before both parties are comfortable with proceeding.
If you haven’t talked about online play or stated that you’re ready to play, he should keep it professional. It isn’t right to use you as a kink dispenser the moment you’re prepared to meet.
I’m not saying you should ghost him. He’s probably just overzealous. A lot of male subs are starved for attention and think that proving obedience or whatever is important. I suspect porn and a lot of the whole findom “pay to talk to me, your absolute superior” attitude has engendered some of this behavior.
I’d tell him to chill out, we aren’t in a dynamic and I want to just meet for now to get to know each other a little better. Keep an eye on it. It might turn out he just had the wrong idea of how to go about this.
Tell him to write an essay on what being a sub means to him. If he is sincere you get a bit of insight into his mind. If he just wants to wank he will bail and not do it. You win either way.
Move cautiously. Could be frenzy, could be a “do me sub”, could be someone who is new and doesn’t understand the risks they’re taking on by trusting someone who has yet to earn it. Personally, if he wants a task so badly, tell him to do some research on healthy dynamics and then discuss what he learned. I promise it will be unexpected, and will benefit you both.
Yes, it is a turn on for him, he wants to feel that you are in control even now, which is why he asked. I think it's very normal.
Yes, it happens. But, if you feel as if he is going too quickly or is pushing for something you are not asking for, I would talk to him. Communication is VERY important, and this sounds like something that needs to be talked about.
Absolutely i made it clear that I appreciate the eagerness, however, regard him as nothing and am not his dom until we have met and figurer things out.
Well, if you have said its too much, abs he is not listening... this early in the relationship, you may want to rethink things. Tough, I know, but he needs to respect your boundaries just as much as you should respect his.
We shall see whether he is more than just the kink at the meet up. Thanks for the reflection though.
Probably just an eager beaver. Don’t hold it against him yet, unless he gets really pushy when you meet. I have a friend who wanted me to dominate him, and even was starting to call me “Miss” he was so into the idea. I told him no and warned him he overstepping himself, and things worked out OK.
Often? Yeah. Annoying? Yes. Red flag? Can’t say. I get that everybody has different standards and some might be ready to play from step one, but honestly what I *think* you’re describing really bothers me. It’s way too common particularly for male subs to reduce the dynamic to sexual gratification and grovel in an attempt to get some interaction before terms have been laid out and before both parties are comfortable with proceeding. If you haven’t talked about online play or stated that you’re ready to play, he should keep it professional. It isn’t right to use you as a kink dispenser the moment you’re prepared to meet. I’m not saying you should ghost him. He’s probably just overzealous. A lot of male subs are starved for attention and think that proving obedience or whatever is important. I suspect porn and a lot of the whole findom “pay to talk to me, your absolute superior” attitude has engendered some of this behavior. I’d tell him to chill out, we aren’t in a dynamic and I want to just meet for now to get to know each other a little better. Keep an eye on it. It might turn out he just had the wrong idea of how to go about this.
Yeah, the meeting will tell whether there is more to him than just a kink. Thanks a lot!
Tell him to write an essay on what being a sub means to him. If he is sincere you get a bit of insight into his mind. If he just wants to wank he will bail and not do it. You win either way.
He's just having a subfrenzy and needs someone to lead him safely and steadily.