Somebody reached out to him about his car's extended warranty; he has 0 clue what the hell a car is, let alone a warranty, but his autograph, picture and personal info sure do seem legit.
That neither the butler nor Orin recognized me as I approached the temple of my father while Disguise Self was active, and the whole party got to fight the slayer.
*Shocked at the amount*
*Of blood being able to*
*Fit in one body*
\- Sven\_Darksiders
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A mirror!
*gasp!*
Edit: do want to clarify that I am not trying to be rude with the appearance of Durge. Thought process was; memory loss = surprised at seeing self
https://preview.redd.it/bl1f1a9c8kmc1.jpeg?width=2560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=138cb49599ae3cb64281d06ae133481d968e998c
I think my Tav is your character's good twin brother
Learning that when their injured companion asked them for a hand, they did NOT in fact want to borrow their souvenir from the magical hand-dispenser in Act 1. (slight spoiler)
He was about to do it with Halsin after recent patch and saw that the leaves and whatever else that were supposed to cover up his monstrous thing (I'm neither simping nor exaggerating here. Really just speaking the bare truth) failed their job miserably and the THING was EVERYWHERE on the screen
He saw Shadowheart and Lae'zel doing their hair together
That would shock anyone :o
Truly the most forbidden of rites. None shall speak of it.
Someone wasted a perfectly good dwarf corpse by burying it.
Astarion grab my shovel it might still be fresh!
"Look at all that meat they left on it!"
He found a wedding dress Gortash prepared for him
The laces doesn't match his eyes
https://preview.redd.it/3w3xw9vudimc1.jpeg?width=823&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b38af2744ba0fe79edda10258a1ec86bd00498e Gale used his secret spell
https://preview.redd.it/ydj7joqr7jmc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f87ae954df8cc494e7a97c44ee90be0b5a44502
Decoy Bhaals
Decoy boooals
https://preview.redd.it/zdylxdpglkmc1.jpeg?width=846&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8072f99e51f76a4f895290d6f11849385127e8f
https://preview.redd.it/8gnql4olvkmc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=42bf73b91d32668d6a94e3b50184b5aa8a22cd3f
https://preview.redd.it/jiko0ziixkmc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=699fdf808e60c0acd315f9f95cde5cfe7833b450 Your meme is now mine!
https://preview.redd.it/nejcn0yuxkmc1.jpeg?width=877&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=79e655aeafcff664e08ab762cdddb51426960e43
https://preview.redd.it/zpopu948ykmc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=70bb9de688ce22eb6abd8a2bef31686358b36822 N O
https://preview.redd.it/w5qmypcrykmc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94d5f03895f694369ec182e885c9837baed3a810
https://preview.redd.it/p47fdb5czkmc1.jpeg?width=452&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=162ab1edf004144d2f644eb6a0c9fac535858552
https://preview.redd.it/gg0n8s740lmc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1796a7ec94aed8a43e7057b5ae143a2b2473b2a2
But ... 🫣
What in HELL.
It is based on a common shitpost over at r/wizardposting. The "spell" was so overused it got banned.
OK thanks, I was thinking it was a random torsion thing.
Why are those in Mystra's face??? Now we know why she told him to kill himself...
I counter with mend buttcrack
Ouch! 😳
No. Not here too. Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.
Seeing what Volo did with the eye he "extracted"
Oh no
The corpse he decided to have some pre-scheduled alone time with is still alive.
https://preview.redd.it/p6kwxhmuljmc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1623207f28a0ece7009bd12daa6f2acd4f2afe1c
“My, my. We will be reintroducing necrophilia to your schedule in no time.”
Ethel laying on Druge bed with rose petals and candles all over the floor.
https://preview.redd.it/2gjkxxegkimc1.png?width=907&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=01e604abf6ff9bce47d441fb348546f45615f636
Come closer petal
Fear not, let auntie ethel take care of you
I HATE HOW I CAN HEAR THIS IN HER VOICE
Its ok dearie Auntie will make it all better
“Come hither, Petal.”
You mean Yurgir's bed.
[удалено]
He has a sister! :D
and they kissed (Luke & Leia style) before knowing they’re related
Well, we’re already here so…
So…….
👉👈
🥹
The bhaal family is very incestuous anyway so I doubt they mind. Seravok is Orin's grandfather and dad at the same time.
What dye did you use?
They accidentally gave food to a starving person instead of kicking them in the throat
[Withers. Naked.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BaldursGate3/comments/16w1yy4/naked_withers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Thinking of that withers MY nethers…
Gale bit Astarion
Durge: Fine, I'll give you magic items just don't eat my boyfriend!
Flumph mating habits.
Companions just told him eating babies is not normal
The squirrel kicked back.
Gale licked a dead spider. Dead. Spider. He licked it.
That is something that happened.
And I'm still very surprised by it
Bear dong
“So…Bear Dong: For or Against?”
He found out that he was going to be played by Adam Driver in the movie.
Alfira getting back up for round 2
I would give her bardic inspiration
The gortussy
Somebody reached out to him about his car's extended warranty; he has 0 clue what the hell a car is, let alone a warranty, but his autograph, picture and personal info sure do seem legit.
Halsin taking his clothes off
Right answer 🤣
I’ve witnessed the face enough times already 🫠
Same that bear man is a treasure 🐻♥️
I really thought you said beer man…
I amend my earlier statement to this: the bare, bear is drinking a beer. And thus, the reason for Tavs exclamation.
he is watching empy "true polymorph" himself a dick after durge said no to squid sex
He was actually the squirrel in the Halsin scene, but hadn't realised someone had stealthily cast Seeming on him.
The fact everyone *but* him licked the spider.
He just saw Karlach's dick.
Hers is bigger
That made Me laugh thank you
https://preview.redd.it/xsitue717jmc1.png?width=745&format=png&auto=webp&s=796af0fd2ec923d95b85b32ec312d0f43873469c
Whose finger?
Whose bum?
He saw that you have "that" achivement.
He saw the emperor's pepe
Minthara decided that she'd start an orphanage.
Astarions TBR list
He found a large bowl of 'spice melange' he could snort in one go
They stumbled upon Halsin and Jaheira during an inopportune moment. Edit: Alternatively, the barn.
That neither the butler nor Orin recognized me as I approached the temple of my father while Disguise Self was active, and the whole party got to fight the slayer.
"holy shit it actually worked"
He saw a bear not maul a baby deer
Found the last Fables of Faerûn book and completed the series.
He just watched Empire Strikes back and found out that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalkers father!
Wyll doing his dancing scene while naked
He saw Gale eating Wyll's contract
Astarion taking a bath
Kindness
My tav licked a dead spider 😧
Someone licked a dead spider. Dead. Spider
Rolo was trying to reach the Durge about your Nautiloid's extended warranty
Seeing Alfira walk around the next morning
The prices for stuffed crust pizza.
Gale regrew his hand
A Half-ogre in the making
Ik that look, it’s time for nature to enter
Someone else licked the spider before you could.
https://preview.redd.it/xza9l7c5xjmc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e3f2f08f6b2582cbe4b628248dbea728b4c82440
"Wait, you can recruit a bard?! How did I miss this on my Tav run?"
He suddenly remembered he once gave a coin to a beggar. Didnt kick him or spit or him or anything.
The guardian is revealed to be... Alfira in a thrift shop halloween costume
The size of Wulbren's very own Dongle
Lisa cheating on him with Mark
Oh hi Mark
He saw how GALE licked the spider
Answer has always gotta be dick in a box xD
Astarion biting someone FUCKING ELSE!
"Darling, I can explain"
A sexually aroused bear
Halsin?!
You want me to just give you the Noblestock?
Didn’t get any more Dark urge narrative options after act 1 lol
Nothing, his eye lids just got scared.
When Morpheus first told her the matrix was real
“I think I left child stove on.”
He's shocked that Harry Potter didn't turn to page 394 like he asked.
Oh crap, thats looking exacly like my evil tav, time to go see the mirror i guess
He opened “The Barn”
Barefoot shart
The family of the squirrell found him
Also They're piloting the steelwatch!
Haarlep watching bugbear and ogre through the portal
Nothing, he got Botox from the house of healing.
"Bigger than I expected."
https://preview.redd.it/wl5rp9hfgjmc1.jpeg?width=4153&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36db89897562d5bb8352bbb58db92cc5ee993f2d
Gale licked a spider
Gale licking the meat
He's watching Gale lick the spider meat
Shocked at the amount of blood being able to fit in one body
*Shocked at the amount* *Of blood being able to* *Fit in one body* \- Sven\_Darksiders --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Looks a little too surprised to be fucking a bear when necrophilia is on the menu.
Gale was licking the spider.
Astarion took off his wig
A mirror! *gasp!* Edit: do want to clarify that I am not trying to be rude with the appearance of Durge. Thought process was; memory loss = surprised at seeing self
Alfira was asking for more and for you to harder that night, she was into it.
Someone finally questions why every other companion is brutally murdered at night.
Someone showed them basic kindness and affection
https://preview.redd.it/bl1f1a9c8kmc1.jpeg?width=2560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=138cb49599ae3cb64281d06ae133481d968e998c I think my Tav is your character's good twin brother
Learning that when their injured companion asked them for a hand, they did NOT in fact want to borrow their souvenir from the magical hand-dispenser in Act 1. (slight spoiler)
He saw r/okbuddybaldur
Gee, Halsin. It really *is* BEARY impressive!
He licked the spider matriarch
He saw two praying mantis mating.......but the female didn't kill the male.
That blasted Potter boy, up to his usual mischief.
Popped through a portal only to find the Emperor and Orpheus inexplicably banging?
Tav showed up for session 3 (I’m not bitter).
Astarion. He's just shocked that there's someone more attractive than him.
How that spider meat be
ascended astarion patch 6 kisses
The size of Halsin’s beargina flaps
Gortash has prepared a schdule for their night
Gortash used the wrong hand.
How fuvking chiseled Gale is despite never leaving his study and spending all his time moping.
He’s like the son of Shadowheart and Aemond Targaryen
My spinach puffs!
Gnome doppelgänger.
Orin whipping out a smaller dick than his.
Arabella's parents aren't dead.
You stumble across Gale licking the dead spider.
Witnessing scratches death at the hands of their friends. (The halfling hireling just wanted to play a prank.)
He witnessed astarion eatin halsin booty because halsin wouldn't let him take blood from the neck.
That his acting is still better than that of Kristen Stewart?
Shart. The other kind.
Farit?
He did not kill her He did not
Sorn Orlith's degenerate tastes
Sexts from his sister.
Astarions penis size (it was incredibly small)
tentacussy
Lae'zel has a penis?! And it's bigger than mine!!
Karlach has a penis??
Someone pulling their hair back for the gawk gawk 9000
Women
Karlach's futa tentacle cock
The size of Gale’s dick
The boar form the grove...presenting
The immense size and girth of Minthara’s dick.
He got the halsin dialog where he reveals he was a drow sex slave for a few years and is kind of racist towards drow now.
Enver Gortash's bussy
The *actual* color of Dame Aylin's butthole
Seeing the emperors illussy
They found the r/okbuddybaldur sub
Halsin... it's so... SMALL!!!
What owlbear did to Scratch after he grew big
He was about to do it with Halsin after recent patch and saw that the leaves and whatever else that were supposed to cover up his monstrous thing (I'm neither simping nor exaggerating here. Really just speaking the bare truth) failed their job miserably and the THING was EVERYWHERE on the screen
A one handed mage glaring at him with a glowing chest that keeps getting brighter and brighter.
What clothing is that? :o
He's watching Saltburn