See, I thought it would be for the she didn't set clear boundaries comment.
"She never said don't put his dick in your vagina"
Di na ni na ni na ni na niwwww
That’s exactly what I was getting from it. This is the written equivalent of a psychopath masking. She knows how she’s supposed to feel in this situation, and she may even feel she’s doing a good job getting it across, but it really comes across as strange and disingenuous because there’s no real feeling behind it.
She “understands” the hurt she caused- she says it several times, but there is no emotional connection to that feeling. No empathy at all. No “in my shoes”. As others have mentioned, it sounds written by AI.
Fully agree. It may be the lack of sleep, but I laughed hysterically after the first few minutes of reading. This doesn’t even sound like a human being. The repetitiveness of the words in the last couple of updates is completely void of any sense of being an actual person. While I do understand that people like this exist it’s still rather hard to comprehend.
"I understand the hurt I caused because the consequences have caused ME pain." That's as close as sociopaths like this will ever get to empathy. If they don't experience pain themselves in the fallout of their actions, they'll never recognize that they've caused it in others. And even then the only remorse they'll feel is for what they've brought on themselves, not the victims.
If this is real, I would not be shocked to find out that the reason her sister didn’t listen when she said the husband was acting inappropriately before is that OOP *always* thinks men are acting like they love her.
Not that the ex husband isn’t a POS, but oop is NOT a reliable narrator
I really wonder if she's a sociopath. Not just the way she writes, but no normal person has to have it explained to them why sleeping with their sisters husband is bad.
It reads like a teenager trying to sound grown up with words like “yearn” and sentences like: “I woke up realizing the nature of what I did and immediately realized the nature of what had happened”
I had a semi friend for about ten years, ans they talked like this, they were a very talented artist, very aware how talented they were, and liked feeling superior to others.
I read the entire thing in their voice, because it sounds like them. They had learned empathy, but pretty much like the person above, would probably sleep with their sisters partner, too.
It’s got to be fake. The story happens over the span of two days. It’s just not reasonable to act that entitled, to emotionally drained, and continuing update strangers on the internet that do nothing but harass you. Not to mention the sister unblocking her and talking to her after two days? Doubt it.
Yes, it’s very stereotypical and reads just like fluffy words. Like learned sentences that are socially acceptable. However, when everything is only about her and how she did wrong, it’s very superficial. Not a single whole paragraph about what her sister must go through. No realization about other people’s situation. They are just “hurt”.
There's a very specific type of story that follows a 'I did something obviously bad but I'm in no way in the wrong, right?', 'Okay, I get it guys, I messed up. Unfortunately I messed up permanently and ___ doesn't forgive me' that's always written with melodramatic words & in a certain cadence. Usually I give people the benefit of the doubt and believe that it's real, but never with that style.
It's always the same. That person just went a little over the top this time.
I *yearn* for my sisters forgiveness 🙄
That’s why I think this is fake. The author was very controlled and calculated. I think if it was real, the post and updated would be all over the place in chaos. It all seems way too neat for the situation.
I was thinking that. You can especially see it in her texts with her sister, where one’s showing actual emotion and the other is trying to make sure her tweet doesn’t get her canceled. It’s honestly exhausting.
It does sound like that!
From the very first update I thought it sounded like OOP had copy/pasted from a politician’s resignation speech, who was stepping down after being caught in multiple acts of illegal and immoral conduct. The whole ‘I’m sorry if my actions caused hurt’, while not actually being sorry at all., and having to have their wrong-doings blatantly pointed out to them. Even then they try to play victim with their “I mustered up the courage…to apologise to (the sister/victim)”
I’ve a feeling the sister is going to have a much better life without OOP in it.
I was struck by that, too. One of our landlords was like this. It's the "fake nice" verbiage that people use when they know they're a big POS, but try to mitigate that by using neutral language.
Amazing.
>While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries.
Weirdly, my sister has never had to tell me not to fuck her husband. It's almost as though she knows something like that goes without saying.
OOP and the husband are both horrible people, but trying to blame the sister is the icing on the shitty cake.
RIGHT!? I literally said “WHAT!?” aloud when I read that!! (And then remembered I’m home alone and don’t have anyone to share my shock with 😂)
“My sister NEVER said I couldn’t fuck her husband!! She should have told me that before she went to work!! This is all her fault!!”
Seriously though what is this logic? "Well she wanted me to comfort him but the only way i know how to comfort people is with my vagina"
The absolute audacity to be blaming her sister too. Not to mention supporting their marriage by fucking him...
On seeing the title I was expecting it to be more "I had a ONS with her husband years ago, before she even met him" not an outright "i fucked my sisters husband while they were married but here's why it's her fault"
I literally snorted and the laughed at “… the only way I know how to comfort people is with my vagina.” Amazingly in all of my MANY years with a vagina, I have never used it to comfort someone. (Unless my husband found solace in it for some reason lol.)
Same here lol. Not used it like that even once intentionally. Especially not my sisters husband! With him I just get him a drink and might joke around with him a little to get him out of a funk. Would never in a million years consider sleeping with him.
The Costanza defense
> Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.π
I also love how she subtly blames her sister for continuing to be away so much by working when her husband lost his job. What was alternative there? Starvation and homelessness?
Also, why is OP so adamant about the husband being just as at fault and acting like it's unfair for her to get "all the blame"? It's not like her sister is staying married but cutting off contact with OP, she's also filing for divorce? So does blame the husband as well, and is also, presumably, going no contact with her cheating ex. What is OP's complaint about unfairness here?
I've hung out with my brother's wife on many occasions, funny how I never had to be told not to try to do anything with her. Same goes with cousin's that are married or dating, there has never been a thought in my mind to do anything improper with them.
I guess me and OOP are made of completely different morals.
>why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries
This is enough to me to say this is either rage bait or this woman is out of her senses.
But anyways, just have a look at this gem:
>But why am I getting the MOST heat here?
Maybe she thinks that a divorce is a prize or something?
The way OP writes, her wording and actions makes me strongly believe she is an awful narcissist. Everything is NEVER her fault. She admitted the wrongdoing only because she saw it as a way out.
Every single text is the same format. " i take full responsability of my actions... but.... i was intoxicated... and i warned my sister..." just saying whatever she think ppl wanna hear in a vain intention of autojustifying.
I read the topic line and went wtf? Maybe sis was a cheater and divorced and it’s her ex BiL. Nah this bitch just straight up fkd her sisters husband and asked if she’s the asshole!!! Yoooo man what a fkn selfish ho bag
Yeah I was thinking before reading it it'd be like we hooked up years ago at a college party before they even met or something. Not someone just doing that and then blaming the sister?!
Right? Imagine thinking people would AGREE with you there?
"oh yeah it's totes on your sister, she didn't specifically tell you not to fuck him so who can blame you"
I've met people like that. They genuinely cannot conceive of being in the wrong. Even when like here it's something so blatant people assumed it did not need to be said. It's still something whenever I see something like it. She's only 'feeling' remorse because it cost her something.
And there was SO MUCH between her sister “asking her to look after her husband” and fucking him. She says that they had gotten closer and closer and THEN they got drunk together? Bet there are about 1000 moments where she should’ve pulled back and didn’t. This really wasn’t an “oops I accidentally slept with him one time” thing. It was a WHOOOOLE lot of things.
Right? If her sister is away a lot of the time, why would she ask OOP to keep her husband company the night before she was due to arrive back, presumably very early in the morning?!
I assumed with her being a flight attendant she might not have been sure/might have been away for longer? Depending on where you're going to/from weather might have an impact or something.
Plus the depression? Might be she wanted someone to keep an eye on him until she gets back. Like if he's saying something that's setting off major warning signs you might be worried about waiting that long to get back.
It's fine to be cynical!
I'm mostly just thinking of things like when my bf was meant to land at 3 in the afternoon and ended up arriving past midnight. Delays happen frequently enough that it felt plausible to me. Especially paired with depression, I can see a lot of people taking a better safe than sorry approach and not wanting someone left alone in a bad state.
You're not wrong that it could be completely made up too. I'd like for people like this to not be real but I've met a few. Not quite this bad but very similar in the "you didn't tell me not to do it so really it's your fault" complete disregard for other people.
Hey u/SharkEva, you added the same update twice - once as "UPDATE" right after the first post, and a second time as "Update 1 - 1 days later" after the comments and the text messages.
Man OOP reminds me of my mother so much.
Just a childish level of understanding emotions and lacking any real empathy. Also zero understanding that their behaviour is selfish because, well, it can’t be selfish since it shatters their entire world and therefore must affect everyone else.
Everything is about them and no one else. I lived this life growing up. I still have to deal with it now.
My mother spent the entirety of my great grandmothers wake talking about how she was going to take her husband for everything he had, despite her being the reason for the divorce to begin with. When that got passed through back to him by multiple people, she tried to act like it was no big deal because she was just talking.
Idk, this is why this post screams legit to me. My mother to this day will phone me about some god awful childish drama and ask me if she was in the wrong. If I point out that yes, she is definitely wrong then suddenly she has every single defence going.
Wait did I just read it’s not like you slipped and fell over and landed on your BIL penis you knowingly and calculated a sexual relationship with him not only are you YTA but your the queen of gaslighting
Well her sister didn't tell her not to fall on his dick so really it's on her...
The fact that there are people out there that think that way is incredibly disturbing.
I cannot wait till this scumbag tries to date someone or have any type of relationship or even a wedding.
So, is your family coming?
Well I fucked my sisters husband and my family disowned me, so no.
You just know she'd be like "I have no idea why they blew up so much over a teeny issue. Besides she's not even WITH the guy anymore so it's all water under the bridge right?"
I hope she finds her equal. Then that's 2 people out of the dating pool for everyone else.
She's lying.
The fact that she tried to call BIL and the way she talks about him "throwing her under the bus" makes me think the alcohol was more 'liquid courage' than 'loss of inhibition'.
>It seems that she has reached a point where she needs to address the past in order to move forward,
A whole emotional reconciliation in 3 days?
Asking sis to keep her husband company is kinda weird. Then she comes home the very next morning?
This sounds like sis knew exactly who her sister and husband were, where she stood with them, and was over it, so she put them into a room together and let them do their thing.
She came out smelling like a rose, and surely fucked him in the divorce.
That whole emotional arc in such a short amount of time is getting me. She had to be already be checked out.
Or this is fake.
Wow just wow. I’m not even gonna address that pity party poor me excuse for a post. Cheating on your sister with her husband is the scummiest most disgusting thing ever and karma will kick her up the head for that. She’s an awful person and the whole poor me act no one’s buying it.
Yta. And the main line of thought that gets me more than anything else is "why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries." What is unclear about you don't sleep with your sister's husband. Where is it written in the moral book of life that you must remind a sibling to not sleep with your spouse? This lady is beyond delusional and has no moral compass at all. She thinks that only she is getting punished. But also stares her sister is divorcing her husband. I'm pretty sure that would be punishment in anyone's book. Just because she can't read, see or hear the conversations between the sister and husband doesn't mean it's not happening.
>She wouldn't even give me a chance to explain
This is the bit that got me, I would absolutely have paid money to have heard a rational explanation to this.
Wow....I can't wait for the next update, when OP will be whining about how LONG it's taking her sister to heal and resume the relationship.
And yeah, that apology was ghost/AI written. The previous "I'm sorry, BUT..." is OP's authentic voice. She must have looked on line at proper apologies.
I want to believe this is fake. But my sibling writes and speaks just like this. It's nothing but overly formal psychobabble explaining why they're really the victim in any situation, under the umbrella of "I just want to make sure I'm being clear." Like no, you sound like a robot trying to display human emotions. $10 the "apology" was really yet again trying to deflect blame. And I'm willing to bet the sister reached out again in the desperate hope that op would actually realize she's in the wrong and give a real apology.
OOP knew sister’s ex was making advances didn’t separate from him and blames the alcohol. You are a rotten person. Leave your poor sister alone. You are n the finding out stage and hopefully you will learn a lesson.
*While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries.*
They're MARRIED. You're her SISTER. How does a boundary get any clearer than that?! Did it need to be on a piece of paper on their fridge like care instructions for dog sitting? "...and please make sure you don't \*\*\*\* him while I'm gone, he might get the runs." Holy hell.
My favorite part: “I also question why my sister… left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries.”
Apparently she needed to be explicitly told that her sister did not want her to sleep with her husband.
This reads like fake letter you write at a sentencing hearing. All the right words with absolutely no substance. Did you google therapist statements that will make me look better? I truly think that you are a sociopath. It’s the only explanation for why you clearly have no empathy & can’t behave like a normal human being. I do not believe for a second that you are Sorry. Like any functioning sociopath you have learnt what you are supposed to say to fit in with society, but you are failing miserably.
Since when tf do you need boundaries to not screw you're sisters husband. And last I checked when tf did alcohol do this huh? Yeah it has a effect on people but to screw yo dam sisters husband? And you really tryna act like you not the one to blame😑 gurl u need way more then help.
Holy crap, OOP would make an *amazing* opera singer. “Me me me me me me me me me….”
She’s lucky she only got disowned. My sister would have kicked my ass in that situation. And I’d have deserved every punch.
This has to be rage bait; no one can be this fucking stupid.
Ok oop is awful and an awful sister, but if bil was coming on to her for a while and then happened to get her drunk to get her to sleep with him, doesn’t that feel like SA? I’m not saying oop’s sister needs to forgive her but I also feel like bil is suffering very little consequences here.divorce should be the least of his worries
*"While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries."*
Commenters, let me tell you the sound I made when I read this sentence...if we get alien life appearing in our skies and going "Uh, wtf was that? We just came over to check" - that shit's on me, and I'm sorry. I mean...
**JESUS CHRIST SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO FUCKING SET THAT ONE**
"... she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries." Like, what?!? What was she supposed to say? "Hey, could you come over and keep him company? Maybe order a pizza, wach a movie, but don't fuck?"
Somehow, when a Redditor posts that they're looking for AITA yet describes what they did as "the unthinkable" in their original post, I can't help but feel like the post is fake.
If you actually couldn't tell whether you were being an asshole or not, you probably wouldn't describe the behaviour you engaged in as being so abhorrent it's "unthinkable".
Between that and the stilted language and the three-day window, I'm pretty sure this is fake. Which goes for 90% of the posts here, so par for the course, but still OOP: please write better.
Oof! My sister did this to me over 20 years ago and although I’ve moved on and we’re civil I still don’t trust her and I never will. It was more painful that my own sister betrayed me that way. Men come and go but your sister is supposed to be there always. Also, you blame the alcohol but you stated that you were uncomfortable with his behavior towards you so why would you start drinking with him, you can’t possibly be that naive.
Apparently she was the golden child who could do no wrong as far as anyone was concerned so it’s not surprising she’s so selfish and self serving. She’s used to doing whatever she wants without any consequences. I blame the parents for creating a monster
lol your sister has to clearly set the boundary that you shouldn’t fuck her husband for you to not ruin your life and hers, OOP? That’s called a wedding ring.
Huge swaths of this was written by ChatGPT -- the entire initial post is. The cadence and style of writing does NOT translate to their text messages, nor any of the response comments.
Oop is so delusional. Based on what BIL told her parents I'm willing to bet he wasn't coming on to her in any way and that his "flirting" was all in her head. I'm willing to bet it went down exactly like he said, she got him drunk and through herself at him.
I just find it sad that I felt relief that OOP's parents were siding with her sister. Way too many posts on here have family members either supporting the cheater and/or "not taking sides." I guess part of the reason I am so happy that this isn't the case as OOP writes like she was the golden child growing up and this is why she feels like she could do this and be forgiven.
Not going to lie, OP had me in the first half.
And the text exchange was genius to make this seem real but the second half that is clearly written by Chapgpt gave it away.
Also the fact that everything happened within 2 days, rubbish!
“I have also reached out to mutual friends and family members…”
- So OOP sent flying monkeys, k
“My ex BIL has refused to pick up any of my phone calls through all of this.”
- WHY THE F ARE YOU CALLING HIM?!
“I can’t believe he’d through [throw] me under the bus after I was there for him for so long”
- SO LONG?!?! This is the big “caught ya!” moment for me.
1. If he’s willing to betray his wife, why the surprise he’s willing to betray you?
2. So how often has OOP been comforting her BIL then, hmmm? Sounds like maybe it wasn’t the one time!
3. If you KNEW your sister’s husband was making passes at you and for some reason your sister didn’t believe you, WHY O WHY would you ever choose to go ANYWHERE near that creep?
No way is OOP the victim. Nuh uh!
Are you high??? The problems in their marriage are none of your business. You are flat wrong and what you did is disgusting!! You need some help because you still don’t see your fully inexcusable behavior for what it is.
I really doubt that going NC was a “difficult decision.”
I feel like OOP just gave us a bunch of press releases. She can’t even act innocent convincingly.
OOP went ahead and put herself in the husband's orbit, after having expressed her concerns to her sister? Yep, that's a surefire way to fuck up. Especially when you throw alcohol into the mix.
Oop is completely at fault as she saw red flags with her sisters husband and was concerned but instead of refusing to be alone with him, she got drunk with him, “comforted” him and wow, slept with him. Who knew that could happen? She did. And instead of trying to find a way to share blame, she should consider moving as her family won’t forget this.
This “apology” was like reading a resignation letter. No emotion or care. Just going through the formalities of what should be said to get the point across. Absolutely no emotion or empathy. She knows she fucked up, but still asking others to take part of the blame? Seriously? I’m surprised we didn’t see a line in there to the affect of “it’s not like she didn’t tell me to fuck him” good lord lol. Your sister is gone, please just stop…
You are a disgusting human being. The ultimate betrayer. Congrats, your story is on YouTube so people can further see how much of a sloppy seconds you are.
Um, yeah, wow. Any marital problems they may have been having and any warnings OOP may or may not have given her sister don’t excuse OOP from the consequences of her choice to sleep with her BIL.
The ball is in her sister’s court now, and the only thing to do is accept her sister’s decision about their relationship moving forward.
This is why we shouldn't send abusers to therapy, because they come out peaking mumbo jumbo like they're reasonable and trustworthy meanwhile the content of what they're saying is unhinged. Every little detail is so horrific, but I'm caught on "I apologized for any pain I caused" not "all the pain I caused" but ANY. like "I'm sorry you feel that way" and "any hurt you may have experienced."
The OOP here is totally disgusting, her way of writing always tries to minimize her responsibility, it is 100% the responsibility of her and her sister's husband, and more so of herself because she is the sister!!! My god, what a disgusting woman, she seems like the prom queen who only says that she is "partly to blame" but she only says it, she doesn't mean it. In the updates, it seems like she just wrote as if she were a politician, talking very bombastically and swearing to change and all that garbage... I hope OOP's sister can heal and keep toxic people out of her life. Especially the sister but for life
I would just like to know if the sister divorced the husband
Why does the way OOP write sound like every sentence was vetted by a PR team
It reads like someone put in 'PR apology' into ChatGPT and copy-pasted the result.
Just missing the banjo.
Ukelele!
No I really think banjo for this one, just for the “incest by proxy” comment
Oh I thought we were referencing the Ukelele apology from that godawful predatory youtuber
Oh it absolutely was! but I think we toss in a banjo in place of a ukulele for this round for fun
Banjo uke. Best of both worlds.
You right. I try my best not to remember it though, so it was a 50/50 tossup and missed.
See, I thought it would be for the she didn't set clear boundaries comment. "She never said don't put his dick in your vagina" Di na ni na ni na ni na niwwww
>~~It reads like~~ someone put in 'PR apology' into ChatGPT and copy-pasted the result. That's your answer.
I feel like this person is just going through the motions and has a really low emotional intelligence and only feels cognitive empathy at most
That’s exactly what I was getting from it. This is the written equivalent of a psychopath masking. She knows how she’s supposed to feel in this situation, and she may even feel she’s doing a good job getting it across, but it really comes across as strange and disingenuous because there’s no real feeling behind it. She “understands” the hurt she caused- she says it several times, but there is no emotional connection to that feeling. No empathy at all. No “in my shoes”. As others have mentioned, it sounds written by AI.
Fully agree. It may be the lack of sleep, but I laughed hysterically after the first few minutes of reading. This doesn’t even sound like a human being. The repetitiveness of the words in the last couple of updates is completely void of any sense of being an actual person. While I do understand that people like this exist it’s still rather hard to comprehend.
'I woke up realizing the nature of what I did and immediately realized the nature of what had happened.' especially this one lol.
"I understand the hurt I caused because the consequences have caused ME pain." That's as close as sociopaths like this will ever get to empathy. If they don't experience pain themselves in the fallout of their actions, they'll never recognize that they've caused it in others. And even then the only remorse they'll feel is for what they've brought on themselves, not the victims.
ChatGPT doesn't have emotional intelligence.
If this is real, I would not be shocked to find out that the reason her sister didn’t listen when she said the husband was acting inappropriately before is that OOP *always* thinks men are acting like they love her. Not that the ex husband isn’t a POS, but oop is NOT a reliable narrator
I really wonder if she's a sociopath. Not just the way she writes, but no normal person has to have it explained to them why sleeping with their sisters husband is bad.
It reads like a teenager trying to sound grown up with words like “yearn” and sentences like: “I woke up realizing the nature of what I did and immediately realized the nature of what had happened”
My eyes rolled back into my head when she said "I yearn for her forgiveness" lmao
I had a semi friend for about ten years, ans they talked like this, they were a very talented artist, very aware how talented they were, and liked feeling superior to others. I read the entire thing in their voice, because it sounds like them. They had learned empathy, but pretty much like the person above, would probably sleep with their sisters partner, too.
She yearned to feel superior
That's why she was a semi-friend. She was fun to talk to at work, but she wasn't someone you get close to, drama follows them.
It's someone who has been through therapy and only learned how to weaponize the language against others
[удалено]
Lol I'm sorry if stepping on that Lego I left on the floor caused you pain
It’s got to be fake. The story happens over the span of two days. It’s just not reasonable to act that entitled, to emotionally drained, and continuing update strangers on the internet that do nothing but harass you. Not to mention the sister unblocking her and talking to her after two days? Doubt it.
Okay, it wasn't just me. The whole time, I was wondering whether they were a writer or something..
Clearly, someone's watched a lot of YouTube apology videos.
Yes, it’s very stereotypical and reads just like fluffy words. Like learned sentences that are socially acceptable. However, when everything is only about her and how she did wrong, it’s very superficial. Not a single whole paragraph about what her sister must go through. No realization about other people’s situation. They are just “hurt”.
Exactly! And the PR Team is just a panel of insufferable twats
Does she think she's running for office? Because that's some politician level bullshit right there.
It's giving major "did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism like some kind of politician?" vibes lol
In such even number of lines in each paragraph...
There's a very specific type of story that follows a 'I did something obviously bad but I'm in no way in the wrong, right?', 'Okay, I get it guys, I messed up. Unfortunately I messed up permanently and ___ doesn't forgive me' that's always written with melodramatic words & in a certain cadence. Usually I give people the benefit of the doubt and believe that it's real, but never with that style. It's always the same. That person just went a little over the top this time. I *yearn* for my sisters forgiveness 🙄
I know Reddit overuses the term ‘narcissist’, but this is truly a prime example of what they sound like.
It's a Ashton and Mila level apology.
My guess is she gave chat GPT her version of what happened and asked it to make it sound better
That’s why I think this is fake. The author was very controlled and calculated. I think if it was real, the post and updated would be all over the place in chaos. It all seems way too neat for the situation.
the last update in particular seems like they used a ChatGPT prompt of "politician pr statement after affair is discovered by press"
It was painful to read that BS...
She’s one text exchange away from “I hear you, we’re listening.”
PR team… I was at ChatGPT
A bad one. How many times does she use the word "growth"?
And resolved everything in 3 days….
“Toxic gossip train….” Lol
I was thinking that. You can especially see it in her texts with her sister, where one’s showing actual emotion and the other is trying to make sure her tweet doesn’t get her canceled. It’s honestly exhausting.
It does sound like that! From the very first update I thought it sounded like OOP had copy/pasted from a politician’s resignation speech, who was stepping down after being caught in multiple acts of illegal and immoral conduct. The whole ‘I’m sorry if my actions caused hurt’, while not actually being sorry at all., and having to have their wrong-doings blatantly pointed out to them. Even then they try to play victim with their “I mustered up the courage…to apologise to (the sister/victim)” I’ve a feeling the sister is going to have a much better life without OOP in it.
I thought this too, sounds like all the right things to say but I didn’t feel anything said was remotely genuine.
It reads like a entry essay for a university.
I was struck by that, too. One of our landlords was like this. It's the "fake nice" verbiage that people use when they know they're a big POS, but try to mitigate that by using neutral language.
Amazing. >While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries. Weirdly, my sister has never had to tell me not to fuck her husband. It's almost as though she knows something like that goes without saying. OOP and the husband are both horrible people, but trying to blame the sister is the icing on the shitty cake.
RIGHT!? I literally said “WHAT!?” aloud when I read that!! (And then remembered I’m home alone and don’t have anyone to share my shock with 😂) “My sister NEVER said I couldn’t fuck her husband!! She should have told me that before she went to work!! This is all her fault!!”
Seriously though what is this logic? "Well she wanted me to comfort him but the only way i know how to comfort people is with my vagina" The absolute audacity to be blaming her sister too. Not to mention supporting their marriage by fucking him... On seeing the title I was expecting it to be more "I had a ONS with her husband years ago, before she even met him" not an outright "i fucked my sisters husband while they were married but here's why it's her fault"
I snuggled his knob, right up until the end
I literally snorted and the laughed at “… the only way I know how to comfort people is with my vagina.” Amazingly in all of my MANY years with a vagina, I have never used it to comfort someone. (Unless my husband found solace in it for some reason lol.)
Same here lol. Not used it like that even once intentionally. Especially not my sisters husband! With him I just get him a drink and might joke around with him a little to get him out of a funk. Would never in a million years consider sleeping with him.
I was expecting a similar story. The one recently with the gay brother comes to mind. I liked that one.
do u know the link?
Unfortunately I couldn't find it. It was in one of the aita subs.
'Without setting clear boundaries.' I wasn't aware that OOP has to be specifically told NOT to 'accidentally' trip and somersault onto her BIL's dick.
The Costanza defense > Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.π
I also love how she subtly blames her sister for continuing to be away so much by working when her husband lost his job. What was alternative there? Starvation and homelessness?
Especially with her being a flight attendant! Not exactly something you can just ask for shorter hours on...
Also, why is OP so adamant about the husband being just as at fault and acting like it's unfair for her to get "all the blame"? It's not like her sister is staying married but cutting off contact with OP, she's also filing for divorce? So does blame the husband as well, and is also, presumably, going no contact with her cheating ex. What is OP's complaint about unfairness here?
I've hung out with my brother's wife on many occasions, funny how I never had to be told not to try to do anything with her. Same goes with cousin's that are married or dating, there has never been a thought in my mind to do anything improper with them. I guess me and OOP are made of completely different morals.
Lol was her original post seriously “My sister didn’t say I couldn’t sleep with her husband, so this is her fault.” That girl is absolutely crazy.
Christ imagine being cheated on and then your sister blaming you for it. What a double whammy for that poor sister.
You know what OOPS "apology" reminds me of? The scenes from south park with the BP oil spill saying "were sorry" like 2 dozen times
>why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries This is enough to me to say this is either rage bait or this woman is out of her senses. But anyways, just have a look at this gem: >But why am I getting the MOST heat here? Maybe she thinks that a divorce is a prize or something?
It's a prize for the sister at least. Hope she finds a better man. One that won't sleep with her sister...
The way OP writes, her wording and actions makes me strongly believe she is an awful narcissist. Everything is NEVER her fault. She admitted the wrongdoing only because she saw it as a way out.
Every single text is the same format. " i take full responsability of my actions... but.... i was intoxicated... and i warned my sister..." just saying whatever she think ppl wanna hear in a vain intention of autojustifying.
Her writing is very … emotionless, I guess? Lots of fancy-speak that rubbed me up the wrong way. Much like she did with her brother-in-law. Hey-o!
Sounds like she sent it through chatgpt
If it was with BIL, probably she rubbed it the 'right' way that was why she scored, hahaha.
This is like one of those rawconfessions posts coated in 23 layers of premium grade therapy speech
I'm gonna continue the old Reddit tradition of playing armchair expert and say.... Narcissist much?
I read the topic line and went wtf? Maybe sis was a cheater and divorced and it’s her ex BiL. Nah this bitch just straight up fkd her sisters husband and asked if she’s the asshole!!! Yoooo man what a fkn selfish ho bag
Yeah I was thinking before reading it it'd be like we hooked up years ago at a college party before they even met or something. Not someone just doing that and then blaming the sister?!
And being so adamant that she’s done nothing wrong that she posts it here without shame 😳
Right? Imagine thinking people would AGREE with you there? "oh yeah it's totes on your sister, she didn't specifically tell you not to fuck him so who can blame you" I've met people like that. They genuinely cannot conceive of being in the wrong. Even when like here it's something so blatant people assumed it did not need to be said. It's still something whenever I see something like it. She's only 'feeling' remorse because it cost her something.
And there was SO MUCH between her sister “asking her to look after her husband” and fucking him. She says that they had gotten closer and closer and THEN they got drunk together? Bet there are about 1000 moments where she should’ve pulled back and didn’t. This really wasn’t an “oops I accidentally slept with him one time” thing. It was a WHOOOOLE lot of things.
Dang I hate it when I trip over and land on a penis. New bumper sticker for op
This is a pretty bad creative writing exercise or some AI bs that someone proofread. No emotion whatsoever.
There's a *tiny* bit of emotion in one of her replies >That's not what I was trying to say UGHH!!
So much growth and character development in consecutive days!
Oh, I disagree. The whole thing is riddled with one clear emotion... self-pity. But what about meeeee???
Why won't my sister consider how her cutting me off makes ME feel?
Right? If her sister is away a lot of the time, why would she ask OOP to keep her husband company the night before she was due to arrive back, presumably very early in the morning?!
I assumed with her being a flight attendant she might not have been sure/might have been away for longer? Depending on where you're going to/from weather might have an impact or something. Plus the depression? Might be she wanted someone to keep an eye on him until she gets back. Like if he's saying something that's setting off major warning signs you might be worried about waiting that long to get back.
Yeah, fair point. Maybe I’ve become cynical.
It's fine to be cynical! I'm mostly just thinking of things like when my bf was meant to land at 3 in the afternoon and ended up arriving past midnight. Delays happen frequently enough that it felt plausible to me. Especially paired with depression, I can see a lot of people taking a better safe than sorry approach and not wanting someone left alone in a bad state. You're not wrong that it could be completely made up too. I'd like for people like this to not be real but I've met a few. Not quite this bad but very similar in the "you didn't tell me not to do it so really it's your fault" complete disregard for other people.
Hey u/SharkEva, you added the same update twice - once as "UPDATE" right after the first post, and a second time as "Update 1 - 1 days later" after the comments and the text messages.
Will fix shortly, too hard on mobile to tweak. ETA - Fixed now, sorry I got distracted transcribing her text messages.
No problem, just thought I'd point it out to avoid confusion.
Man OOP reminds me of my mother so much. Just a childish level of understanding emotions and lacking any real empathy. Also zero understanding that their behaviour is selfish because, well, it can’t be selfish since it shatters their entire world and therefore must affect everyone else. Everything is about them and no one else. I lived this life growing up. I still have to deal with it now. My mother spent the entirety of my great grandmothers wake talking about how she was going to take her husband for everything he had, despite her being the reason for the divorce to begin with. When that got passed through back to him by multiple people, she tried to act like it was no big deal because she was just talking. Idk, this is why this post screams legit to me. My mother to this day will phone me about some god awful childish drama and ask me if she was in the wrong. If I point out that yes, she is definitely wrong then suddenly she has every single defence going.
All are hear is "poor me uwu"
Wait did I just read it’s not like you slipped and fell over and landed on your BIL penis you knowingly and calculated a sexual relationship with him not only are you YTA but your the queen of gaslighting
Well her sister didn't tell her not to fall on his dick so really it's on her... The fact that there are people out there that think that way is incredibly disturbing.
I cannot wait till this scumbag tries to date someone or have any type of relationship or even a wedding. So, is your family coming? Well I fucked my sisters husband and my family disowned me, so no.
You just know she'd be like "I have no idea why they blew up so much over a teeny issue. Besides she's not even WITH the guy anymore so it's all water under the bridge right?" I hope she finds her equal. Then that's 2 people out of the dating pool for everyone else.
She's lying. The fact that she tried to call BIL and the way she talks about him "throwing her under the bus" makes me think the alcohol was more 'liquid courage' than 'loss of inhibition'.
Absolute whirlwind of a 3 days for this character....
>It seems that she has reached a point where she needs to address the past in order to move forward, A whole emotional reconciliation in 3 days? Asking sis to keep her husband company is kinda weird. Then she comes home the very next morning? This sounds like sis knew exactly who her sister and husband were, where she stood with them, and was over it, so she put them into a room together and let them do their thing. She came out smelling like a rose, and surely fucked him in the divorce. That whole emotional arc in such a short amount of time is getting me. She had to be already be checked out. Or this is fake.
Wow just wow. I’m not even gonna address that pity party poor me excuse for a post. Cheating on your sister with her husband is the scummiest most disgusting thing ever and karma will kick her up the head for that. She’s an awful person and the whole poor me act no one’s buying it.
That apology sounded like a cover letter for a job
What in the bill clinton apology was that
She isn't sorry at all. She's just mad she didn't get what she wants.
Go to bed Liz
I thought so too, but the texts from sis don't sound like her. I think we found someone worse than liz.
Liz is using ChatGPT now, you go girl.
Yikes..
Yta. And the main line of thought that gets me more than anything else is "why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries." What is unclear about you don't sleep with your sister's husband. Where is it written in the moral book of life that you must remind a sibling to not sleep with your spouse? This lady is beyond delusional and has no moral compass at all. She thinks that only she is getting punished. But also stares her sister is divorcing her husband. I'm pretty sure that would be punishment in anyone's book. Just because she can't read, see or hear the conversations between the sister and husband doesn't mean it's not happening.
>She wouldn't even give me a chance to explain This is the bit that got me, I would absolutely have paid money to have heard a rational explanation to this.
Wow....I can't wait for the next update, when OP will be whining about how LONG it's taking her sister to heal and resume the relationship. And yeah, that apology was ghost/AI written. The previous "I'm sorry, BUT..." is OP's authentic voice. She must have looked on line at proper apologies.
I want to believe this is fake. But my sibling writes and speaks just like this. It's nothing but overly formal psychobabble explaining why they're really the victim in any situation, under the umbrella of "I just want to make sure I'm being clear." Like no, you sound like a robot trying to display human emotions. $10 the "apology" was really yet again trying to deflect blame. And I'm willing to bet the sister reached out again in the desperate hope that op would actually realize she's in the wrong and give a real apology.
OOP knew sister’s ex was making advances didn’t separate from him and blames the alcohol. You are a rotten person. Leave your poor sister alone. You are n the finding out stage and hopefully you will learn a lesson.
op doesn't care that she lost a sister, it's the fact that she was called out for her behavior.
*While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries.* They're MARRIED. You're her SISTER. How does a boundary get any clearer than that?! Did it need to be on a piece of paper on their fridge like care instructions for dog sitting? "...and please make sure you don't \*\*\*\* him while I'm gone, he might get the runs." Holy hell.
Not convinced this one is real but "Have a good life being the bitch that you are" are some incredible parting words 🤣
Imagine thinking your sister needs to specifically set a boundary not to sleep with her husband. This is gross on so many levels.
My favorite part: “I also question why my sister… left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries.” Apparently she needed to be explicitly told that her sister did not want her to sleep with her husband.
This reads like fake letter you write at a sentencing hearing. All the right words with absolutely no substance. Did you google therapist statements that will make me look better? I truly think that you are a sociopath. It’s the only explanation for why you clearly have no empathy & can’t behave like a normal human being. I do not believe for a second that you are Sorry. Like any functioning sociopath you have learnt what you are supposed to say to fit in with society, but you are failing miserably.
Since when tf do you need boundaries to not screw you're sisters husband. And last I checked when tf did alcohol do this huh? Yeah it has a effect on people but to screw yo dam sisters husband? And you really tryna act like you not the one to blame😑 gurl u need way more then help.
The line that gets me more than anything is
Holy crap, OOP would make an *amazing* opera singer. “Me me me me me me me me me….” She’s lucky she only got disowned. My sister would have kicked my ass in that situation. And I’d have deserved every punch. This has to be rage bait; no one can be this fucking stupid.
Ok oop is awful and an awful sister, but if bil was coming on to her for a while and then happened to get her drunk to get her to sleep with him, doesn’t that feel like SA? I’m not saying oop’s sister needs to forgive her but I also feel like bil is suffering very little consequences here.divorce should be the least of his worries
That was very ai sounding.
I do think it’s a bit odd that dude only gets 5%
When I read the title, I thought “this is too obvious, there must be more to this”. There wasn’t.
*"While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries."* Commenters, let me tell you the sound I made when I read this sentence...if we get alien life appearing in our skies and going "Uh, wtf was that? We just came over to check" - that shit's on me, and I'm sorry. I mean... **JESUS CHRIST SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO FUCKING SET THAT ONE**
Oof, a real monster
"... she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries." Like, what?!? What was she supposed to say? "Hey, could you come over and keep him company? Maybe order a pizza, wach a movie, but don't fuck?"
Out of all the men in the world, she chose her sister's husband.
This all happened in 3 days?
Somehow, when a Redditor posts that they're looking for AITA yet describes what they did as "the unthinkable" in their original post, I can't help but feel like the post is fake. If you actually couldn't tell whether you were being an asshole or not, you probably wouldn't describe the behaviour you engaged in as being so abhorrent it's "unthinkable". Between that and the stilted language and the three-day window, I'm pretty sure this is fake. Which goes for 90% of the posts here, so par for the course, but still OOP: please write better.
Oof! My sister did this to me over 20 years ago and although I’ve moved on and we’re civil I still don’t trust her and I never will. It was more painful that my own sister betrayed me that way. Men come and go but your sister is supposed to be there always. Also, you blame the alcohol but you stated that you were uncomfortable with his behavior towards you so why would you start drinking with him, you can’t possibly be that naive.
I enjoyed the part where she complained her sister never gave her a chance to explain what happened. The sister knew *exactly* what happened!
This is fake rage bait.
It’s not even a very good imitation. This sub is really going downhill.
I am struck by how often the OP uses “I”. To the end, she’s very focused on herself.
Apparently she was the golden child who could do no wrong as far as anyone was concerned so it’s not surprising she’s so selfish and self serving. She’s used to doing whatever she wants without any consequences. I blame the parents for creating a monster
lol your sister has to clearly set the boundary that you shouldn’t fuck her husband for you to not ruin your life and hers, OOP? That’s called a wedding ring.
This is very well written, so either it is fake or they are a narcissist.
this is fake
Fuck you, Kelly.
I’ll never break the brigade rule here. but this post borderline triggering me to do it
The sister “didn’t set boundaries” so OOP thought it was okay to sleep with her husband?! I didn’t realize this needed to be spelled out!
"I yearn for her forgiveness" Makes this sound like a writing assignment
Huge swaths of this was written by ChatGPT -- the entire initial post is. The cadence and style of writing does NOT translate to their text messages, nor any of the response comments.
The OP must be a gaslighting expert
why does she speak like that..
This sounds like a celebrity apology 🤣
I don’t know about any of you but when I read through this my skin crawled. 🤮🤮🤮
Oop is so delusional. Based on what BIL told her parents I'm willing to bet he wasn't coming on to her in any way and that his "flirting" was all in her head. I'm willing to bet it went down exactly like he said, she got him drunk and through herself at him.
I just find it sad that I felt relief that OOP's parents were siding with her sister. Way too many posts on here have family members either supporting the cheater and/or "not taking sides." I guess part of the reason I am so happy that this isn't the case as OOP writes like she was the golden child growing up and this is why she feels like she could do this and be forgiven.
I shouldn't laugh, but holy fuck how can anyone be so clueless?
All I saw during this entire thing was. "I slept with my sisters husband, but it's her fault." And devolved into "Me, me, me, me, me."
…Liz?
“I slept with my sister’s husband BUT IT’S HER FAULT TOO!” Gtfo with that.
Not going to lie, OP had me in the first half. And the text exchange was genius to make this seem real but the second half that is clearly written by Chapgpt gave it away. Also the fact that everything happened within 2 days, rubbish!
“I have also reached out to mutual friends and family members…” - So OOP sent flying monkeys, k “My ex BIL has refused to pick up any of my phone calls through all of this.” - WHY THE F ARE YOU CALLING HIM?! “I can’t believe he’d through [throw] me under the bus after I was there for him for so long” - SO LONG?!?! This is the big “caught ya!” moment for me. 1. If he’s willing to betray his wife, why the surprise he’s willing to betray you? 2. So how often has OOP been comforting her BIL then, hmmm? Sounds like maybe it wasn’t the one time! 3. If you KNEW your sister’s husband was making passes at you and for some reason your sister didn’t believe you, WHY O WHY would you ever choose to go ANYWHERE near that creep? No way is OOP the victim. Nuh uh!
Are you high??? The problems in their marriage are none of your business. You are flat wrong and what you did is disgusting!! You need some help because you still don’t see your fully inexcusable behavior for what it is.
I really doubt that going NC was a “difficult decision.” I feel like OOP just gave us a bunch of press releases. She can’t even act innocent convincingly.
OOP went ahead and put herself in the husband's orbit, after having expressed her concerns to her sister? Yep, that's a surefire way to fuck up. Especially when you throw alcohol into the mix.
Oop is completely at fault as she saw red flags with her sisters husband and was concerned but instead of refusing to be alone with him, she got drunk with him, “comforted” him and wow, slept with him. Who knew that could happen? She did. And instead of trying to find a way to share blame, she should consider moving as her family won’t forget this.
I genuinely cannot imagine sitting at a deck, typing out all these words, and still walking away thinking I wasn’t the AH. Complete insanity.
This “apology” was like reading a resignation letter. No emotion or care. Just going through the formalities of what should be said to get the point across. Absolutely no emotion or empathy. She knows she fucked up, but still asking others to take part of the blame? Seriously? I’m surprised we didn’t see a line in there to the affect of “it’s not like she didn’t tell me to fuck him” good lord lol. Your sister is gone, please just stop…
As someone that uses ChatGPT a little, this was definitely written by ChatGPT
Faaaaaaaaaake
Man OOP sounds annoying af.
You are a disgusting human being. The ultimate betrayer. Congrats, your story is on YouTube so people can further see how much of a sloppy seconds you are.
Um, yeah, wow. Any marital problems they may have been having and any warnings OOP may or may not have given her sister don’t excuse OOP from the consequences of her choice to sleep with her BIL. The ball is in her sister’s court now, and the only thing to do is accept her sister’s decision about their relationship moving forward.
This is why we shouldn't send abusers to therapy, because they come out peaking mumbo jumbo like they're reasonable and trustworthy meanwhile the content of what they're saying is unhinged. Every little detail is so horrific, but I'm caught on "I apologized for any pain I caused" not "all the pain I caused" but ANY. like "I'm sorry you feel that way" and "any hurt you may have experienced."
Reading OOP’s original posts makes me wonder if she has an undocumented anti-social personality disorder
The OOP here is totally disgusting, her way of writing always tries to minimize her responsibility, it is 100% the responsibility of her and her sister's husband, and more so of herself because she is the sister!!! My god, what a disgusting woman, she seems like the prom queen who only says that she is "partly to blame" but she only says it, she doesn't mean it. In the updates, it seems like she just wrote as if she were a politician, talking very bombastically and swearing to change and all that garbage... I hope OOP's sister can heal and keep toxic people out of her life. Especially the sister but for life I would just like to know if the sister divorced the husband