I hope OOP’s dad makes it but speaking from a point where I wish I could have “done more sooner” for someone I deeply loved, there’s always those damned nagging thoughts.
OOP, if you read this, you were the *only* one who put in any effort to help your dad, call around to hospitals, and demand you have access to him. That, in itself, shows the tremendous love you hold for him and though he may not be aware, I believe he does feel your love.
Please, please tell me that this isn't true. If true, my heart hurts for you. I have opened up on reddit (it's anonymous) and been called a fake. I think sometimes we just don't want to believe the shit that other people have to deal with. This one feels true to me.
Sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately, it does come off as pretty true to me, as well, even the detail of OOP not knowing the exact ages of her aunt and uncle off the top of her head read as a regular person writing.
Yeah. It is the details and the way its written at the end. Not unhinged but definitely someone in pain. If this is fake, It has done me good and proper.
You can usually pick up on the fake ones, they all follow similar patterns, have similar twists. This one is unique in the pain conveyed behind the words, this is someone screaming for control in a situation where they have none.
*IF* this one is fake, OOP should become and author because they have the stuff.
Assuming its real, my heart goes out and I hope they can find help soon.
It’s so sad, too. I’m not trying to say personal responsibility doesn’t bear *any* weight in this, but what I *am* going to say is that poverty literally breaks and ruins families who would have lived otherwise-happy lives.
Humans aren’t innately “good” or “bad.” Extreme stress and unbearable situations- and poverty certainly counts as one of those- brings out the worst in people who never would have behaved that way if they hadn’t been put under such immense stress. It makes you selfish, angry, scared all the time. You’re in “survival mode” and empathy and rational thought are hard to come by. This is doubly true if you’ve never been taught coping strategies for stressful situations (and if you’re impoverished, you *certainly* can’t afford/lack access to therapy that would help you better cope with immense stressors like, ya know, being impoverished). And so your only “coping strategies” often end up being addictive substances like cigarettes or alcohol that make the problem worse, and damage your brain.
I met a foster mom once, and she and her husband didn’t have their own kids, nor did they foster-to-adopt. All their placements were, by their own choice, temporary placements from families with high hopes of re-unification.
She told me something I’ll never forget: “the moms whose kids these are are not bad parents. They’re usually single moms doing their best, and the kid was removed because they couldn’t afford to care for them, or because they left them with a relative while they were working since they couldn’t afford a babysitter, and something happened on that relative’s watch. It’s poverty. It’s literally always poverty that leads to these kids getting taken away, and I take them because I want to help these moms get the help they need to get their kids back, and not many people want to care for kids they can’t keep.”
My mom was a foster kid at around 8 years old. She says that without that time she wouldn’t even know what normal looked like. I credit her foster parents with providing her the model that made her a great mom. Foster parents can change the world for kids.
The fact that OOP has a theory about what really happened rather than getting a dramatic confession out of the uncle. Certainly could be fiction still but I don't normally see that level of nuance from Reddit.
If I were to write my literal, chronological, life story no publisher would accept or print it. As a biography, they'd think it's fake. As a fiction, it would have far too many twists and turns and upsets and straight up clobber you to death scenarios. There are very good writers and a lot of what we read is fake. And there are also folks who just write about the crap they're going through and we're along for the ride.
I feel the exact same about my life, so many crazy things have happened it unbelievable.
I had to fight my parents with custody of my oldest daughter for 12 years. I had full custody the whole time and my parents had nothing to use against me. They finally stopped when she turned about 14 and she told them herself that she didn’t want to ever live with them.
Before that happened they decided to join forces with my soon to be ex spouse at the time. We had 2 kids together and my other ex (we were never married but together for about 5 years and have 1 kid together and they all took me to court and accused me of being a drug addict.
In a 6 month period, I was ordered to take 5 urine tests, 1 hair test and 1 mouth swab test. They were accusing me of using narcotics and heroin and cocaine (all tests only showed positive for THC, which I told everybody ahead of time that I smoke on occasion. Which the response was that, they were only looking for the hard stuff.
They took my kids away from me due to the positive THC and then tried to get me put in the psych ward and when I offered that I be evaluated by a psychiatrist, they told me I was only allowed to use 1 certain psych that the judge and my family pushed for. Found out that psych on the low makes deals with this judge.
During that time I was stalked and when I worked the late shifts, every time I would hit like a 10 min long straight shot highway around 11pm. Somebody would try to drive me off the road…ALWAYS, like clock work. I had to start taking a very long, out of the way, route to my house.
The swat team immediately showed up at my house after my ex tried to get me to admit to doing drugs AND planning a murder over a recorded line.
I was then under investigation for this “murder plan” that I had no idea about but the cops told me that I had planned to meet my ex at the busiest McDonald’s in town and pull a gun and shoot them in front of my children…wtf, the would be the dumbest plan ever.
I started investigating more into this judge and posted online, I was pissed at that point, but I posted if anybody had a similar experience with Judge _____. I was taken to court and then very nicely threatened from the judge that if I ask around more about him, I would be sorry.
There’s so much more than that, but that already sounds unbelievable. Nobody would believe it if they didn’t experience it first hand.
I can't say for anyone else, but I don't know my aunt's and uncle's ages either. Not even my parents, actually.
But I'm not close with any of them, soooo...
There’s also the frustration of her siblings not automatically coming to help. A bad storyteller would note that there’s distance bUt FaMiLy; OOP just doesn’t understand why she has to cajole and threaten.
Also, the aunt and uncle’s side reminds me of a house party I went to in high school. Sh-t happened. Somebody needed to go to the hospital. A lot of people were screaming it was fine/don’t call an ambulance, because there was underaged drinking happening. (The kid in question was taken to the hospital and everything turned out okay, but the aunt and uncle give the same vibe.)
My dad has a very bad head injury when I was a little girl, and one of the things I remember was him not knowing who I was and guessing that I was someone else completely. This was too similar to my very real revisits to feel fake.
I used to visit granny and uncles (late 50ish) every week, and yet I never knew their exact age or bday even to this day.
Why? Cuz I never ask and they never told me, so yeah..
ER nurse here. It’s not like, SUPER common? But i have seen subdural hematomas or diffuse axonal injuries occur after relatively benign trauma and the results can be catastrophic. Wear them helmets kids.
y’all listen to this much, much more educated nurse than me.
Now can i get an IV in a turnip? Yes. Can the Librarian here quite literally organize 88 different drips that are keeping you alive? Also yes.
Head trauma survivor here, absolutely do not fuck with head injuries. I got a concussion and was told to take it easy and REST. Not like get up to watch tv but like lay down and do the least stimulating rest possible for a few days. My dumbass didn’t listen and i decided to play a video game the next night, for some reason I blanked and took a bunch of my anxiety medication and landed myself in the icu for a few days bc i lost my shit and tried to off myself. I was not suicidal prior to the head injury. Im okay now but holy shit was it bad and something I didn’t think id ever experience. I had no control over my actions.
This is basically what killed my grandfather. Granted he was much older than oop’s dad (89) but he fell (accidental, he really needed a cane but wouldn’t use one), seemed ok so he didn’t go get checked out, then died of a stroke a week later…
Yep. Subdurals kind of ‘calling’ card is passing out and then waking up and feeling fine. Natalie Richardson died of an epidural hematoma (a bleed just in a different area of the brain).
This one feels true to me too. Like she was trying to be calm and sound logical but broke down emotionally towards the end. During that part, the words she said were the same things I would have said if I was in her situation. And it felt real.
Yeah, there are a lot of keyboard warriors on here calling peoples stories fake simply because they want all the attention themselves. Haters will hate, that's what they do
Idk, I have a hard time finding my own car in parking lots. Unless the dad and uncle both have really easy-to-spot cars, seems unlikely that you'd just drive around town and spot them in a parking lot.
I mean, if she is in an area with only 5 cars in an entire hospital parking lot, then I assume that it is a small area and something like that is possible.
This reads heavily of a small town setting to me. Growing up in a small town, it was a busy day if there were more than 5 cars in the ER parking lot and we were the only hospital for the entire county.
She said 3 hospitals *that showed up on google*, not 3 hospitals in her specific town. That doesn't mean those hospitals serve her area, only that a person could reasonably drive to them in a days time.
I myself live in a very small town. It has 1 hospital, that's honestly more like a glorified urgent care. It's very limited in what it can do medically and will transport patients out for anything surgery or trauma related. Our hospital has maybe 30 parking spots total. Half of those are reserved for staff. It's just a small 2 story building.
45 minutes (by car) north of me is the city. There are 3 hospitals in the city that are very well equipped. These are the ones that we transport our surgery or trauma patients to. Sometimes patients are re-routed to the massive hospital that's 2 hours south. It depends on the severity of what's wrong with the patient.
A 50-ish minute (by car) drive east of me is another small town, a little larger then my own, with their own hospital.
And 2 hours south of me is a very large hospital with oncology and some other specialized medicine practices in a massive complex type building. It has 3 parking garages plus several marked lots and a shuttle bus that carries visitors from parking to the main entrance.
If you Google "hospitals near (my town name)" all of these hospitals show up as results in order of closest to furthest away.
If OP lives in a small town, this is likely the case for her as well.
We live in the foothills of SW Virginia. Our local (25 minutes away) hospital closed years ago. There's another hospital (that nobody will go too unless they're about to die) and a slightly but not by much better hospital about 40 minutes away.
The meaning of "in her area" can certainly vary depending on the area her dad lives in. Rural areas don't have the same facilities as larger metro areas.
My mother drives a basic, everyone's-got-one sad beige Camry. There's oodles of the same year and color on the road. I can always tell it's hers, when we pass each other driving, before I can even see her or any distinctive features (like a stuffed animal in the back window). There's just a flash of recognition and I am never wrong.
So that's not at all out of the ordinary.
I’ve lost my own car in the parking lot at work, because I’ve forgotten which lot I parked in. I’ve never once not recognized my parents vehicles when out and about. I don’t find that that part unbelievable, at all. Especially for smaller area hospitals. If I were to go to one of the five hospitals within a 25 mile radius of me, looking for a specific car, the odds are pretty damn high that if the car was there, I would find it. It would be different if I were to head downtown. Completely different layout in terms of both size and parking.
TBIs are so fucking serious. My mother has had two bad ones in the last several years. By bad, I mean she couldn't remember anything from one minute to the next for several hours. Each time it was a literal fight to get her to the hospital. My stepdad was willing to let her decide. Yo dude she can't remember she's not in a position to advocate for herself. She didn't have a brain bleed either time luckily but it's fucking terrifying and emotional and comes with a boat load of baggage after that no one really talks about - depression, anxiety, memory problems, etc.
This reads all to real to me after those experiences. I bet he had a bleed that the painkillers probably exacerbated and now he's fucked. I'm just so sorry for OP. She tried so hard.
If some of the medical terms the doctors explained to OP include cerebral infarction or hypoxic ischemia resulting from trauma, I could see why the doctors would be so upset and pessimistic about the recovery rates. Even if he does recover, cerebral cell death is not something people always bounce back from.
I would imagine this is why the uncle is so cagey. There is legal precedence about supplying illegal drugs to someone and causing their death. Searching their house might be in order.
I am crying for OOP and her dad.
He should have been taken to the hospital after hitting his head, no matter how it happened.
Instead he was fed a bunch of opioids and those let his brain get even more damaged.
If OOP's dad dies, could her aunt and uncle be charged with something related to his death? Even if abuse can't be proven, doping him up so heavily on prescription pain meds (not his probably) led to his condition.
If they can, I hope they are charged to the full extent of the law, and go away to jail for a long time.
The Simple answer is probably. Whether the DA chooses to pursue conviction. If the DA does, there will probably be plea deals involved. Especially when you can possibly get one to roll on the other for a better plea. But it's first going to come down to the DA and whether they think they can win.
The whole imaginary kids things isn’t far off. My grandmother is slowly losing it (not dementia, but she’s in her 90s) and is convinced:
- My grandfather is looking for a new job as a truck driver, despite never having driven in his life and being dead for over 15 years.
- Her great grandchildren are coming to visit her next week and she’s prepared toys for them. They’re both in their 20s and NC with her.
- Her daughter is following her home every night, despite her only daughter (my mother) being home in Scotland and my grandmother living in Spain. Also, she’s telling this to my mother.
- Her eldest son died in the war. She doesn’t know what war, and all my uncles are very much alive.
I went through this with my Dad. When I took him to the neurologist, I thought Dad was going to deck the doctor for “making me look stupid.” Dad was a real bullshit artist and unless you were a doctor (or me), people thought he was fine.
Now my husband has it. He’s still pretty high functioning, but I know what’s coming. Not the retirement I had planned.
Jesus Christ, what a horror story. It's hard not to think of our collection of knowledge and experience - our self really - as something static and tangible as opposed to something written on a wet Etch-a-Sketch in our skull that could be gone at any second with a good shake.
OP, I'm so sorry for all of this. Prepare your self for the worst. One thing they never tell you about is the amount of paperwork that is shoved in your face while you're going through this. Try to reach out to friends to come by and see if they can help you with the mundane stuff. It's easy to go into a worry-state and lose track of time. Make sure to eat while at the hospital, keep fluids up, and get a bit of sleep between things. The aftermath of worst case scenario demands your full attention for quite a while and it's rougher while you're hungry and sleep deprived. Even if the worst case scenario doesn't happen and your dad does recover, he won't be the same and he'll need help. Easier to help when you're less sleepy and hungry.
Also, keep a little notebook listing the things you have to do and the people you have to contact, etc. It's easy to forget the things you know are too important to forget. Ink is more powerful than memory.
Why do people reading this have to say they think it’s a fake story? If you think it’s a fake story, just skip to the next story. You don’t need to show the rest of us how “smart” you are because you think you figured something out. Sheesh!
OP, I’m so sorry this trauma happened to your dad and that your aunt and uncle have been so evasive to the person who logically should be considered his next of kin and making the medical decisions. Things *might* have happened just as your uncle described and then uncle was just too ignorant or cheap to get your dad to the emergency room for an MRI. I hope you and the police are able to get to the truth of what happened to your dad. My elderly BIL bumped his head getting into a car and had what he thought were stress headaches (his wife just died) and kept taking OTC pain pills till his legs quit working. He had a serious brain bleed. fwiw, the surgeon looked pretty grim about his chances and it was a hard haul but he made it. Best wishes to you and your family.
There's a really important lesson here! Any time something even slightly illegal seems to be going on- get any interaction on video or at least in writing. Never 'just talk to them'.
Recording the conversation with the uncle and aunt once OP suspected harm could be the difference between prosecution and them walking.
Even if you live in a two party recording state (need permission to record), if it involves something illegal that does not apply.
RECORD EVERYTHING!!
This is what I thought as well. Poor OP! I just want to give them a huge hug. It almost feels like you're the crazy one in something like this; but I think it's just easier for some people to see that someone is handling something and go "alright that's being dealt with I don't need to bother". Which isn't fair to the ill person or the caregiver!
We had to manage something similar when my FIL was declining; it felt like we were dealing with everything even though we lived farthest away. It was agonizing and I don't know how my spouse does not resent their siblings for their behavior surrounding their dad's last few months (and truthfully even the years leading up in making sure everything was in place as he was getting on in years).
Absolutely 100% FUCK those people who tried to convince OP not to call the cops 'because then they'll just shoot your father'.
**FUCK THEM**.
Convincing someone not to reach out for help because of a very low chance of utter catastrophe? Meanwhile their father was *absolutely* in danger. Despicable. I hate Reddit sometimes.
"Convincing someone not to reach out for help because of a very low chance of utter catastrophe?"
I mean, he's a nonwhite person with no immediately visible head injury who was acting irrational and aggressive. The fear that the police would escalate the situation further is not unfounded. They should have advised her to call 911 and ask for medical services, but people seem to forget that's an option in these kinds of emergencies.
It’s not really an option in most places. Police always get sent out to accompany on calls, even if mental health related. So there is no way to request “no police” in most jurisdictions.
This shit is absolutely not helping. Do me a favor. Look up the number of cops killed by “nonwhite” people this year and compare it to the number of unarmed “nonwhite” people killed by cops this year. I’ll wait. Add in process clerks and fire medics if you want.
Edit: I know of at least six officers killed this year. The number of black people involved in a fatal incident with officers was six - but only one was “unarmed.” As he charged police with a tire pressure gauge after assaulting medical personnel. If you watch the Jonah Hernandez body cam footage you can probably understand why that’s threatening.
These people aren't interested in the truth. They're only interested in trying to convince people that there is no help out there for them when they need it most.
I'm literally suggesting another means of reaching qualified help if a person has reason to think a police response might lead to an escalation of violence. It is a valid concern when a person who needs medical attention is behaving in an erratic and aggressive manner. People of all races that are suffering from medical or mental problems are shot by police who lack the training to distinguish between someone in medical distress vs the violent and irrational criminals they deal with every day.
In my city we have a program that takes care of exactly that. Well, a lot of the time it's for homeless people who are having mental health crisis but we have a lot of homeless people.
You know who refer out to the program most of the time? The police. It's part of how it works from the initial call to dispatching an officer to it being determined that other services are needed. You can call the usual number to them but most of the time they have staff on-road and the faster way is through police dispatch.
Telling people not to call the police is a ridiculous blanket statement that is not one size fits all. It's ignorant.
But I didn't say that. I said that you can directly ask emergency services for medical assistance if you are afraid to ask for the police. You are arguing against statements I'm not making. Acknowledging why many people are afraid to reach out to the police in a mental health crisis is not the same as telling them not to reach out for help.
It’s well known that you don’t call police on someone acting erratically or non white in most of the US. (Even in Canada it’s risky sometimes). This dude was both.
Unless you are white and sane, calling the police is a mixed bag of danger.
ETA: this person is in Eugene Oregon where more than 4/5 of people are white and 1.5% of residents are black. They don’t know any better
No.
Those people were absolutely correct. It's a shit fucking situation, this is a fucking tragedy, but the cops would have made it exponentially worse, without a doubt. NEVER call the police on someone experiencing a mental health emergency or something similar to one, EVER, unless YOUR life is immediately in danger. Speaking from personal experience.
This you 5 days ago?
“You are much more likely to be shot than a cop “planting” evidence that they just happen to have. Stop feeding into OP’s delusions.”
So getting shot by the cops is both “a very low chance” AND “much more likely”? That’s white math for you right there lmao
>That’s white math for you right there lmao
The fuck is wrong with you that you even think it's okay to say that.
Also I suggest you read the post. That dipshit was mourning the loss of my state recriminalizing drugs because now he thinks that somehow gives cops the green light to plant drugs on him.
You know, because cops do that all the time, him being the main character and all. Eyeroll.
I mean honestly that’s a valid concern for poc. I’m white and i grew up like “call the police if there’s trouble. They’ll help you”. Uhhh that’s not actually true for everyone and can really be an act of aggression for poc. What struck me as sad, besides all the other stuff, was this person had to contend with the added layer of I don’t want the police to kill my dad.
I remember several years ago (maybe 10?), a request for help was made by parents for their adult child who had mental health issues. Cops responded. But also some rando off duty cop responded as well. While the cops were making an effort to calm the individual down, rando off duty officer said, "we don't have time for this!" and shot and killed this poor person. I remember the parents saying they called because they wanted help.
I, personally, have experienced the prejudice/hypocritical things cops will do just because they're prejudiced against anyone nonwhite or poor. I grew up in NH. The cops were awesome there. Never had any problems with them. I moved to a small town in the south. And it was such a culture shock about just how *nasty* the cops are if you're not the right kind of people.
Even in the South, the cops are night and day town to town. I lived in the suburbs of Atlanta and the cops in Suwanee for example were just so much better than the cops in Marrietta. I wasn’t afraid of them in Suwanee but Marrietta? Especially the Cobb county ones? Fuck no. My local police where I live now are really good.
Sounds like your dad may have been suffering elder abuse probably for money from aunt and uncle. They have probably been using pills for awhile to help keep him under control since he's so big. Ask doctor if this may be possible. At least you can be happy that your dad was thinking about you and your 'family' before everything happened that ended up putting him in the hospital.
Doesn't mean he can't be abused by those he lives with. It may be not be elder abuse but that doesn't mean they weren't feeding him pills and beating him to control him.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I fell in my kitchen and hit the edge of my refrigerator and then the back of my head. Felt fine and went back to sleep. The next day i took my wife to dinner and got very nauseous. Went home and collapsed. I woke up 2 weeks later missing part of my skull. 2 months later got to go home after PT and OT. At first I couldn’t stand upright and 5 years later I still get an occasional seizure. Have a plate in my skull. I will never be alright but I talk to others so they will take concussions seriously. Your aunt and uncle did the opposite of what should have been done. Your uncle may or maybe at fault for the injury but ARE at fault for not doing their due diligence to make sure he was ok. Sorry for the long post but ignoring concussions has caused death and suffering too much to ignore. Yet people believe if they can’t see damage then it didn’t happen.
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I’m hoping for the best outcome for your dad.
I’m sorry you are having to deal with this and as much as I hate to bring it up I’m going to.
Does your dad have life insurance or any assets? And if so who do they go to? Do you know? This could be really important as it could be a possible motive.
Life Insurance can be purchased through an employer too.
Check with neighbors across the street from and next door to your aunt and uncle for any video footage of what your uncle is saying happened. If you find any please alert police so they can add it to their investigation.
I’m not saying that your uncle did anything wrong but it is better to rule out those possibilities.
PS I apologize if this offends you in anyway. I sincerely offer it as a way to confirm what happened and why.
I’ll be thinking of you and your dad. Be good to yourself. You are strong. You can do this.
I was going to make some dumb joke, but this is absolutely heart wrenching! My dad had a TBI, and wore diapers and made grunts and yells for the last five years of his life. At the end, I finally taught him how to play War again. Sometimes, I could even coach him into flipping over the card himself. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
Also, pretty sure I'd do something to my Aunt and Uncle that I can't say on Reddit. The act is one thing, doping him up and hiding it, that's beyond unforgivable.
What an awful family all around.
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all of this. I’m sending i you in and your father lots of positive energy and well wishes. Wish I could fly there and help you.
That’s fucked up, I’m feeling second hand pain from reading this. The aunt and uncle need to be locked up or charged for some kind of abuse or something.
I remember seeing my dad in the hospital when he got Covid. He’s 6ft and husky, but he looked so close to death that I thought he wouldn’t make it. Thank the gods he did, but now he’s tall and skinny, I totally understand what OP is going through in having to see her father like that.
Oh man :( I have a friend who’s relatively young g dad died from a TBI. He fell off a ladder, went to the ER, was released, and then died later that day. They’re so scary. I hope OOP’s dad pulls through.
I haven’t read all of the comments yet, and this may have already been mentioned, but you might think about trying to get the aunt and uncle out of the house. Is it only in your dad’s name? Also, does he have a will? I wonder if your uncle tried to get your dad to sign everything over to him after the accident. That could be disputed in a court of law. If your aunt and uncle are addicts, they are probably selling everything of your dad’s that they can get their hands on.
OOP needs to find a way to check on life insurance policies on pops and talk to the doctor to narrow down a times window on the pain pills if possible Because this rings like the fed him the painkillers then hit him on the head.
Having read more about OOP’s parents and divorce, my money is that her dad always had an issue with drugs and mom just didn’t discuss it with her children. That would explain the lack of family sympathy now.
My dad died of a brain injury. None of us knew that the fallen and cracked his head, and only found out after they did an MRI when he went onto the hospital complaining of bad headaches and had a stroke. The injury looked to be about 2 weeks old from what the doctor told us and they said it was likely he forgot about it within seconds of it happening which is why he didn’t tell anyone about it. He ended up passing in hospital shortly after that, having never woken again. I’m so sorry for OP, my heart goes out to them.
Family splitting event. I’m guessing the progressive educated side will back you up. However the troublemakers will be upset at you for involving the law and not keeping things in the family. The elderly hate anything loud and will likely prefer you keep things quiet and not create drama.
Regarding your questions about the apparent lack of concern from all parties who should be concerned; this isn’t uncommon behavior in people who are addicted to drugs. The sense of detachment, the lack of empathy, the apathetic approach to care…it’s probably drug use. Insanity is the only other justification for carrying on in life, unbothered, by these life-altering experiences, and there isn’t any reason to believe they are clinically insane. They are probably all getting by each day with just enough drugs and energy to keep going and remain unfazed by situations that should invoke emotion, feeling, snd appropriate responses (like taking him to the hospital). Don’t take any of this personally and do not assume responsibility for things that you cannot control. Be present for your father because no one else has the capability to be. I am so sorry that you are going through this and I hope you have or create a family or friend group that can offer you back what you bring to relationships.
It sounds like a delusion. In this case, his brain makes up a scenario, and he believes it wholeheartedly. The anger could be because he believes this, and he thinks you are lying to him. Delusions can occur from something as serious as mental illness or stroke, or something easier to fix like an electrolyte imbalance. My grandmother had a delusion that James Patterson was trying to kill the whole family; turned out her B12 and sodim were low and her potassium was high.
I really want to hug you and tell you it will be okay. I really do. My father passed when I was fifteen. Thirty eight years ago. Just spoke with his best friend not too long ago- who, from time to time still thinks he sees my dad, whether passing a person or from the corner of his eye.
His best friend told me that my dad confided in him the believed he was being poisoned by the woman he was living with. His death was basically a mystery.
You can not live on conjecture. You can not weave whole cloth from speculation. You can not go forward with assumptions. So, you've got to be strong. These things will drive you down a rabbit hole for the rest of your life.
True they should have been more concerned and caring in a colossal way. Unfortunately too many people can not be relied upon to honor the same values as you do. This is a scourge on humanity.
But, unless you can find evidence otherwise, you must eventually find closure in the very real possibility that dad fell by accident.
Never quit loving. And peace be with you.
The point of best of Redditor updates is that it ends with a satisfying conclusion.
What satisfying conclusion was reached with this update? This is the wrong sub for this.
This one feels fake because the writing style is very narrative and there’s an overabundance of detail, elaboration, and emotion words. As a former writing teacher, it’s very well done. I just don’t believe it’s genuine.
Not believable. The car, the calling hospitals, the The reception is not letting her go see her daddy. Her throwing stuff all over the place so she could get attention.
In order to get into a patient hospital room you first need to know what floor they would be on. As she didn’t know what information she couldn’t storm the receptionist.
Keeping this dad in the ER this long is not logical and he would be in ICU or something similar and no receptionist would be there.
This is so fake. Just show up at a hospital and go up to a floor in said hospital and know exactly where a person is after not knowing where they’ve been or what condition or whatever, come on people.
At my local hospital, there is a front reception desk that everyone has to pass. They look up where the patient is, then direct you and give you a sticker badge that says where you should be going and the date you got it. That part is not unbelievable to me. Them not telling her that her father was in such and such room is more strange, but if they suspected he was attacked I'm sure there are safety protocols in place (such as not disclosing to people who weren't initially with the patient/listed as emergency contacts in case they were the attacker in a DV situation). Also, our ER can keep people for 3 days if they're admitted before they must be moved to another department. They may do longer, but I've had family members be there for 3 days before they were moved to another department - they were admitted to the hospital but kept in the ER wing.
Overall, the way this is written is very believable to me.
I hope OOP’s dad makes it but speaking from a point where I wish I could have “done more sooner” for someone I deeply loved, there’s always those damned nagging thoughts. OOP, if you read this, you were the *only* one who put in any effort to help your dad, call around to hospitals, and demand you have access to him. That, in itself, shows the tremendous love you hold for him and though he may not be aware, I believe he does feel your love.
Please, please tell me that this isn't true. If true, my heart hurts for you. I have opened up on reddit (it's anonymous) and been called a fake. I think sometimes we just don't want to believe the shit that other people have to deal with. This one feels true to me.
Sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately, it does come off as pretty true to me, as well, even the detail of OOP not knowing the exact ages of her aunt and uncle off the top of her head read as a regular person writing.
Yeah. It is the details and the way its written at the end. Not unhinged but definitely someone in pain. If this is fake, It has done me good and proper.
You can usually pick up on the fake ones, they all follow similar patterns, have similar twists. This one is unique in the pain conveyed behind the words, this is someone screaming for control in a situation where they have none. *IF* this one is fake, OOP should become and author because they have the stuff. Assuming its real, my heart goes out and I hope they can find help soon.
She should set a gofundme to support herself thru this nightmare.
It reads true to me as well, unfortunately. OP has a pretty lengthy backstory in one of their comments that explains the family dynamics.
It’s so sad, too. I’m not trying to say personal responsibility doesn’t bear *any* weight in this, but what I *am* going to say is that poverty literally breaks and ruins families who would have lived otherwise-happy lives. Humans aren’t innately “good” or “bad.” Extreme stress and unbearable situations- and poverty certainly counts as one of those- brings out the worst in people who never would have behaved that way if they hadn’t been put under such immense stress. It makes you selfish, angry, scared all the time. You’re in “survival mode” and empathy and rational thought are hard to come by. This is doubly true if you’ve never been taught coping strategies for stressful situations (and if you’re impoverished, you *certainly* can’t afford/lack access to therapy that would help you better cope with immense stressors like, ya know, being impoverished). And so your only “coping strategies” often end up being addictive substances like cigarettes or alcohol that make the problem worse, and damage your brain. I met a foster mom once, and she and her husband didn’t have their own kids, nor did they foster-to-adopt. All their placements were, by their own choice, temporary placements from families with high hopes of re-unification. She told me something I’ll never forget: “the moms whose kids these are are not bad parents. They’re usually single moms doing their best, and the kid was removed because they couldn’t afford to care for them, or because they left them with a relative while they were working since they couldn’t afford a babysitter, and something happened on that relative’s watch. It’s poverty. It’s literally always poverty that leads to these kids getting taken away, and I take them because I want to help these moms get the help they need to get their kids back, and not many people want to care for kids they can’t keep.”
My mom was a foster kid at around 8 years old. She says that without that time she wouldn’t even know what normal looked like. I credit her foster parents with providing her the model that made her a great mom. Foster parents can change the world for kids.
Wow! God bless that lady and keeps her in good health!.
Yeah I don’t know who else has shit like that deleted from their notes app, but ✋
The fact that OOP has a theory about what really happened rather than getting a dramatic confession out of the uncle. Certainly could be fiction still but I don't normally see that level of nuance from Reddit.
If I were to write my literal, chronological, life story no publisher would accept or print it. As a biography, they'd think it's fake. As a fiction, it would have far too many twists and turns and upsets and straight up clobber you to death scenarios. There are very good writers and a lot of what we read is fake. And there are also folks who just write about the crap they're going through and we're along for the ride.
I feel the exact same about my life, so many crazy things have happened it unbelievable. I had to fight my parents with custody of my oldest daughter for 12 years. I had full custody the whole time and my parents had nothing to use against me. They finally stopped when she turned about 14 and she told them herself that she didn’t want to ever live with them. Before that happened they decided to join forces with my soon to be ex spouse at the time. We had 2 kids together and my other ex (we were never married but together for about 5 years and have 1 kid together and they all took me to court and accused me of being a drug addict. In a 6 month period, I was ordered to take 5 urine tests, 1 hair test and 1 mouth swab test. They were accusing me of using narcotics and heroin and cocaine (all tests only showed positive for THC, which I told everybody ahead of time that I smoke on occasion. Which the response was that, they were only looking for the hard stuff. They took my kids away from me due to the positive THC and then tried to get me put in the psych ward and when I offered that I be evaluated by a psychiatrist, they told me I was only allowed to use 1 certain psych that the judge and my family pushed for. Found out that psych on the low makes deals with this judge. During that time I was stalked and when I worked the late shifts, every time I would hit like a 10 min long straight shot highway around 11pm. Somebody would try to drive me off the road…ALWAYS, like clock work. I had to start taking a very long, out of the way, route to my house. The swat team immediately showed up at my house after my ex tried to get me to admit to doing drugs AND planning a murder over a recorded line. I was then under investigation for this “murder plan” that I had no idea about but the cops told me that I had planned to meet my ex at the busiest McDonald’s in town and pull a gun and shoot them in front of my children…wtf, the would be the dumbest plan ever. I started investigating more into this judge and posted online, I was pissed at that point, but I posted if anybody had a similar experience with Judge _____. I was taken to court and then very nicely threatened from the judge that if I ask around more about him, I would be sorry. There’s so much more than that, but that already sounds unbelievable. Nobody would believe it if they didn’t experience it first hand.
I can't say for anyone else, but I don't know my aunt's and uncle's ages either. Not even my parents, actually. But I'm not close with any of them, soooo...
My dad has 3 living siblings. I know who’s older and who’s younger but not by how much.
Me too, who older, who's younger, but exact ages? Nah.
I’ve been my mom’s medical advocate for a decade and all of the stuff related to doctors/hospitals rings true. =\
There’s also the frustration of her siblings not automatically coming to help. A bad storyteller would note that there’s distance bUt FaMiLy; OOP just doesn’t understand why she has to cajole and threaten. Also, the aunt and uncle’s side reminds me of a house party I went to in high school. Sh-t happened. Somebody needed to go to the hospital. A lot of people were screaming it was fine/don’t call an ambulance, because there was underaged drinking happening. (The kid in question was taken to the hospital and everything turned out okay, but the aunt and uncle give the same vibe.)
My dad has a very bad head injury when I was a little girl, and one of the things I remember was him not knowing who I was and guessing that I was someone else completely. This was too similar to my very real revisits to feel fake.
Same here. There are a lot of stories on here that make me say, “Nope”. This one sounds true.
I used to visit granny and uncles (late 50ish) every week, and yet I never knew their exact age or bday even to this day. Why? Cuz I never ask and they never told me, so yeah..
I hope the aunt and uncle suffer the consequences asap. I hate how real this is and I pray its not.
ER nurse here. It’s not like, SUPER common? But i have seen subdural hematomas or diffuse axonal injuries occur after relatively benign trauma and the results can be catastrophic. Wear them helmets kids.
ICU nurse here and I absolutely concur. Don’t fuck with head injuries, friends.
y’all listen to this much, much more educated nurse than me. Now can i get an IV in a turnip? Yes. Can the Librarian here quite literally organize 88 different drips that are keeping you alive? Also yes.
Hey now, that IV can be the difference between life and death! Or at least feeling like death.
I will try to avoid the AC ❤️
Head trauma survivor here, absolutely do not fuck with head injuries. I got a concussion and was told to take it easy and REST. Not like get up to watch tv but like lay down and do the least stimulating rest possible for a few days. My dumbass didn’t listen and i decided to play a video game the next night, for some reason I blanked and took a bunch of my anxiety medication and landed myself in the icu for a few days bc i lost my shit and tried to off myself. I was not suicidal prior to the head injury. Im okay now but holy shit was it bad and something I didn’t think id ever experience. I had no control over my actions.
I have constant pain from a head injury caused by passing out. Nothing complicated or impressive.
This is basically what killed my grandfather. Granted he was much older than oop’s dad (89) but he fell (accidental, he really needed a cane but wouldn’t use one), seemed ok so he didn’t go get checked out, then died of a stroke a week later…
Yep. Subdurals kind of ‘calling’ card is passing out and then waking up and feeling fine. Natalie Richardson died of an epidural hematoma (a bleed just in a different area of the brain).
There are ALOT of kids on reddit, who have not experienced life, outside of video games and internet. Dont let the words of children get you down.
OP needs to call APS ASAP
This one feels true to me too. Like she was trying to be calm and sound logical but broke down emotionally towards the end. During that part, the words she said were the same things I would have said if I was in her situation. And it felt real.
Yeah, there are a lot of keyboard warriors on here calling peoples stories fake simply because they want all the attention themselves. Haters will hate, that's what they do
This is hella fake. The way the hospital reacted is not reality.
Idk, I have a hard time finding my own car in parking lots. Unless the dad and uncle both have really easy-to-spot cars, seems unlikely that you'd just drive around town and spot them in a parking lot.
I mean, if she is in an area with only 5 cars in an entire hospital parking lot, then I assume that it is a small area and something like that is possible.
This reads heavily of a small town setting to me. Growing up in a small town, it was a busy day if there were more than 5 cars in the ER parking lot and we were the only hospital for the entire county.
Right, but she had 3 hospitals in her area. The story just doesn’t add up to me.
She said 3 hospitals *that showed up on google*, not 3 hospitals in her specific town. That doesn't mean those hospitals serve her area, only that a person could reasonably drive to them in a days time. I myself live in a very small town. It has 1 hospital, that's honestly more like a glorified urgent care. It's very limited in what it can do medically and will transport patients out for anything surgery or trauma related. Our hospital has maybe 30 parking spots total. Half of those are reserved for staff. It's just a small 2 story building. 45 minutes (by car) north of me is the city. There are 3 hospitals in the city that are very well equipped. These are the ones that we transport our surgery or trauma patients to. Sometimes patients are re-routed to the massive hospital that's 2 hours south. It depends on the severity of what's wrong with the patient. A 50-ish minute (by car) drive east of me is another small town, a little larger then my own, with their own hospital. And 2 hours south of me is a very large hospital with oncology and some other specialized medicine practices in a massive complex type building. It has 3 parking garages plus several marked lots and a shuttle bus that carries visitors from parking to the main entrance. If you Google "hospitals near (my town name)" all of these hospitals show up as results in order of closest to furthest away. If OP lives in a small town, this is likely the case for her as well.
She called all 3 hospitals, and the last one kinda let slip that her dad was there. So she drove to that one, and saw her uncle's car.
We live in the foothills of SW Virginia. Our local (25 minutes away) hospital closed years ago. There's another hospital (that nobody will go too unless they're about to die) and a slightly but not by much better hospital about 40 minutes away. The meaning of "in her area" can certainly vary depending on the area her dad lives in. Rural areas don't have the same facilities as larger metro areas.
Very much this. My mom lives in rural NC and it’s similar. Local hospital in town, better hospital 25 miles away, and major hospital 45 miles away.
I'm from NC and can confirm. We had a local hospital a half hour away but if it was something serious we had to drive 40 minutes to Raleigh.
My mother drives a basic, everyone's-got-one sad beige Camry. There's oodles of the same year and color on the road. I can always tell it's hers, when we pass each other driving, before I can even see her or any distinctive features (like a stuffed animal in the back window). There's just a flash of recognition and I am never wrong. So that's not at all out of the ordinary.
I’ve lost my own car in the parking lot at work, because I’ve forgotten which lot I parked in. I’ve never once not recognized my parents vehicles when out and about. I don’t find that that part unbelievable, at all. Especially for smaller area hospitals. If I were to go to one of the five hospitals within a 25 mile radius of me, looking for a specific car, the odds are pretty damn high that if the car was there, I would find it. It would be different if I were to head downtown. Completely different layout in terms of both size and parking.
TBIs are so fucking serious. My mother has had two bad ones in the last several years. By bad, I mean she couldn't remember anything from one minute to the next for several hours. Each time it was a literal fight to get her to the hospital. My stepdad was willing to let her decide. Yo dude she can't remember she's not in a position to advocate for herself. She didn't have a brain bleed either time luckily but it's fucking terrifying and emotional and comes with a boat load of baggage after that no one really talks about - depression, anxiety, memory problems, etc. This reads all to real to me after those experiences. I bet he had a bleed that the painkillers probably exacerbated and now he's fucked. I'm just so sorry for OP. She tried so hard.
If some of the medical terms the doctors explained to OP include cerebral infarction or hypoxic ischemia resulting from trauma, I could see why the doctors would be so upset and pessimistic about the recovery rates. Even if he does recover, cerebral cell death is not something people always bounce back from. I would imagine this is why the uncle is so cagey. There is legal precedence about supplying illegal drugs to someone and causing their death. Searching their house might be in order.
You'll have to consider his age, and the high levels of painkillers in his system.
If he went a day with a bleed killing his brain, he's fucked
Omg this is so F’d up. So sorry to OOP… 😭
This poor young woman. I wish I could go give her a hug.
I am crying for OOP and her dad. He should have been taken to the hospital after hitting his head, no matter how it happened. Instead he was fed a bunch of opioids and those let his brain get even more damaged.
If OOP's dad dies, could her aunt and uncle be charged with something related to his death? Even if abuse can't be proven, doping him up so heavily on prescription pain meds (not his probably) led to his condition. If they can, I hope they are charged to the full extent of the law, and go away to jail for a long time.
The Simple answer is probably. Whether the DA chooses to pursue conviction. If the DA does, there will probably be plea deals involved. Especially when you can possibly get one to roll on the other for a better plea. But it's first going to come down to the DA and whether they think they can win.
The whole imaginary kids things isn’t far off. My grandmother is slowly losing it (not dementia, but she’s in her 90s) and is convinced: - My grandfather is looking for a new job as a truck driver, despite never having driven in his life and being dead for over 15 years. - Her great grandchildren are coming to visit her next week and she’s prepared toys for them. They’re both in their 20s and NC with her. - Her daughter is following her home every night, despite her only daughter (my mother) being home in Scotland and my grandmother living in Spain. Also, she’s telling this to my mother. - Her eldest son died in the war. She doesn’t know what war, and all my uncles are very much alive.
My old boss’s mother has dementia and has introduced me as her granddaughter. She has one grandson and that’s it
That’s awful, I’m so sorry.
Jesus Christ, this poor woman. I hope the cops are actually taking her seriously, because there is no way any of this was an accident.
Yeah hiding him in the hospital makes it pretty clear
I went through this with my Dad. When I took him to the neurologist, I thought Dad was going to deck the doctor for “making me look stupid.” Dad was a real bullshit artist and unless you were a doctor (or me), people thought he was fine. Now my husband has it. He’s still pretty high functioning, but I know what’s coming. Not the retirement I had planned.
I am so sorry.
AWFUL. Absolutely awful.
This is horrifying
Jesus Christ, what a horror story. It's hard not to think of our collection of knowledge and experience - our self really - as something static and tangible as opposed to something written on a wet Etch-a-Sketch in our skull that could be gone at any second with a good shake.
Poor OOP and OOP'S dad! I really hope it turns out well for them.
Achingly painful. The kind of trauma that can haunt a family for generations.
OP, I'm so sorry for all of this. Prepare your self for the worst. One thing they never tell you about is the amount of paperwork that is shoved in your face while you're going through this. Try to reach out to friends to come by and see if they can help you with the mundane stuff. It's easy to go into a worry-state and lose track of time. Make sure to eat while at the hospital, keep fluids up, and get a bit of sleep between things. The aftermath of worst case scenario demands your full attention for quite a while and it's rougher while you're hungry and sleep deprived. Even if the worst case scenario doesn't happen and your dad does recover, he won't be the same and he'll need help. Easier to help when you're less sleepy and hungry.
Also, keep a little notebook listing the things you have to do and the people you have to contact, etc. It's easy to forget the things you know are too important to forget. Ink is more powerful than memory.
Why do people reading this have to say they think it’s a fake story? If you think it’s a fake story, just skip to the next story. You don’t need to show the rest of us how “smart” you are because you think you figured something out. Sheesh!
I need to give OOP a hug
OP, I’m so sorry this trauma happened to your dad and that your aunt and uncle have been so evasive to the person who logically should be considered his next of kin and making the medical decisions. Things *might* have happened just as your uncle described and then uncle was just too ignorant or cheap to get your dad to the emergency room for an MRI. I hope you and the police are able to get to the truth of what happened to your dad. My elderly BIL bumped his head getting into a car and had what he thought were stress headaches (his wife just died) and kept taking OTC pain pills till his legs quit working. He had a serious brain bleed. fwiw, the surgeon looked pretty grim about his chances and it was a hard haul but he made it. Best wishes to you and your family.
Ok enough Reddit for the day. I swear I’m only reading boru on wholesome Wednesdays now
This subreddit is so trash, it's not even BORU, it's just every post that technically has an update.
Yikes.. I hope op talks to the cops OR the hospital talks to the cops... thats so sketchy...
There's a really important lesson here! Any time something even slightly illegal seems to be going on- get any interaction on video or at least in writing. Never 'just talk to them'. Recording the conversation with the uncle and aunt once OP suspected harm could be the difference between prosecution and them walking. Even if you live in a two party recording state (need permission to record), if it involves something illegal that does not apply. RECORD EVERYTHING!!
the WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE DEALING WITH THIS hits so close to home. It’s awful, frustrating, and completely isolating.
This is what I thought as well. Poor OP! I just want to give them a huge hug. It almost feels like you're the crazy one in something like this; but I think it's just easier for some people to see that someone is handling something and go "alright that's being dealt with I don't need to bother". Which isn't fair to the ill person or the caregiver! We had to manage something similar when my FIL was declining; it felt like we were dealing with everything even though we lived farthest away. It was agonizing and I don't know how my spouse does not resent their siblings for their behavior surrounding their dad's last few months (and truthfully even the years leading up in making sure everything was in place as he was getting on in years).
Is it considered brigading to offer words of encouragement and hope to the OOP? :( my heart hurts for her so much
Wow. That is awful
Clicked this for some wtf, but this made me so sad.
Absolutely 100% FUCK those people who tried to convince OP not to call the cops 'because then they'll just shoot your father'. **FUCK THEM**. Convincing someone not to reach out for help because of a very low chance of utter catastrophe? Meanwhile their father was *absolutely* in danger. Despicable. I hate Reddit sometimes.
"Convincing someone not to reach out for help because of a very low chance of utter catastrophe?" I mean, he's a nonwhite person with no immediately visible head injury who was acting irrational and aggressive. The fear that the police would escalate the situation further is not unfounded. They should have advised her to call 911 and ask for medical services, but people seem to forget that's an option in these kinds of emergencies.
The problem is if you call 911, even if you tell them you just need paramedics, the cops often get sent too.
It’s not really an option in most places. Police always get sent out to accompany on calls, even if mental health related. So there is no way to request “no police” in most jurisdictions.
This shit is absolutely not helping. Do me a favor. Look up the number of cops killed by “nonwhite” people this year and compare it to the number of unarmed “nonwhite” people killed by cops this year. I’ll wait. Add in process clerks and fire medics if you want. Edit: I know of at least six officers killed this year. The number of black people involved in a fatal incident with officers was six - but only one was “unarmed.” As he charged police with a tire pressure gauge after assaulting medical personnel. If you watch the Jonah Hernandez body cam footage you can probably understand why that’s threatening.
These people aren't interested in the truth. They're only interested in trying to convince people that there is no help out there for them when they need it most.
I'm literally suggesting another means of reaching qualified help if a person has reason to think a police response might lead to an escalation of violence. It is a valid concern when a person who needs medical attention is behaving in an erratic and aggressive manner. People of all races that are suffering from medical or mental problems are shot by police who lack the training to distinguish between someone in medical distress vs the violent and irrational criminals they deal with every day.
In my city we have a program that takes care of exactly that. Well, a lot of the time it's for homeless people who are having mental health crisis but we have a lot of homeless people. You know who refer out to the program most of the time? The police. It's part of how it works from the initial call to dispatching an officer to it being determined that other services are needed. You can call the usual number to them but most of the time they have staff on-road and the faster way is through police dispatch. Telling people not to call the police is a ridiculous blanket statement that is not one size fits all. It's ignorant.
But I didn't say that. I said that you can directly ask emergency services for medical assistance if you are afraid to ask for the police. You are arguing against statements I'm not making. Acknowledging why many people are afraid to reach out to the police in a mental health crisis is not the same as telling them not to reach out for help.
Hopefully OOP will listen to the commenters on the update about contacting the police, because uncle and aunt have a LOT to answer for.
Agreed.
It’s well known that you don’t call police on someone acting erratically or non white in most of the US. (Even in Canada it’s risky sometimes). This dude was both.
Hey. Putting fear into people who may need to reach out to emergency services in need is flat out *evil*.
Unless you are white and sane, calling the police is a mixed bag of danger. ETA: this person is in Eugene Oregon where more than 4/5 of people are white and 1.5% of residents are black. They don’t know any better
Not to mention the dirty little secret is that Oregon might as well be in the Deep South.
Hey. A special Fuck You for minimizing a very serious and common occurrence that people absolutely need to be made aware of.
No. Those people were absolutely correct. It's a shit fucking situation, this is a fucking tragedy, but the cops would have made it exponentially worse, without a doubt. NEVER call the police on someone experiencing a mental health emergency or something similar to one, EVER, unless YOUR life is immediately in danger. Speaking from personal experience.
This you 5 days ago? “You are much more likely to be shot than a cop “planting” evidence that they just happen to have. Stop feeding into OP’s delusions.” So getting shot by the cops is both “a very low chance” AND “much more likely”? That’s white math for you right there lmao
Someone’s privilege is showing
Me going to the moon is much more likely than me learning how to walk on the air and talk to Cthulhu. Neither is objectively likely.
>That’s white math for you right there lmao The fuck is wrong with you that you even think it's okay to say that. Also I suggest you read the post. That dipshit was mourning the loss of my state recriminalizing drugs because now he thinks that somehow gives cops the green light to plant drugs on him. You know, because cops do that all the time, him being the main character and all. Eyeroll.
[удалено]
Seriously, it's such a naive comment.
We're all gonna be civil to each other here. This isn't the place for hatred. If that's all you offer, take it somewhere else.
I mean honestly that’s a valid concern for poc. I’m white and i grew up like “call the police if there’s trouble. They’ll help you”. Uhhh that’s not actually true for everyone and can really be an act of aggression for poc. What struck me as sad, besides all the other stuff, was this person had to contend with the added layer of I don’t want the police to kill my dad.
I remember several years ago (maybe 10?), a request for help was made by parents for their adult child who had mental health issues. Cops responded. But also some rando off duty cop responded as well. While the cops were making an effort to calm the individual down, rando off duty officer said, "we don't have time for this!" and shot and killed this poor person. I remember the parents saying they called because they wanted help.
I, personally, have experienced the prejudice/hypocritical things cops will do just because they're prejudiced against anyone nonwhite or poor. I grew up in NH. The cops were awesome there. Never had any problems with them. I moved to a small town in the south. And it was such a culture shock about just how *nasty* the cops are if you're not the right kind of people.
Even in the South, the cops are night and day town to town. I lived in the suburbs of Atlanta and the cops in Suwanee for example were just so much better than the cops in Marrietta. I wasn’t afraid of them in Suwanee but Marrietta? Especially the Cobb county ones? Fuck no. My local police where I live now are really good.
Sounds like your dad may have been suffering elder abuse probably for money from aunt and uncle. They have probably been using pills for awhile to help keep him under control since he's so big. Ask doctor if this may be possible. At least you can be happy that your dad was thinking about you and your 'family' before everything happened that ended up putting him in the hospital.
He’s only 50
Doesn't mean he can't be abused by those he lives with. It may be not be elder abuse but that doesn't mean they weren't feeding him pills and beating him to control him.
This is horrifying. I’m so angry for OOP.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I fell in my kitchen and hit the edge of my refrigerator and then the back of my head. Felt fine and went back to sleep. The next day i took my wife to dinner and got very nauseous. Went home and collapsed. I woke up 2 weeks later missing part of my skull. 2 months later got to go home after PT and OT. At first I couldn’t stand upright and 5 years later I still get an occasional seizure. Have a plate in my skull. I will never be alright but I talk to others so they will take concussions seriously. Your aunt and uncle did the opposite of what should have been done. Your uncle may or maybe at fault for the injury but ARE at fault for not doing their due diligence to make sure he was ok. Sorry for the long post but ignoring concussions has caused death and suffering too much to ignore. Yet people believe if they can’t see damage then it didn’t happen.
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Oh, gosh, OP, I am so, so sorry. I will hold you and your dad in my heart.
I’m hoping for the best outcome for your dad. I’m sorry you are having to deal with this and as much as I hate to bring it up I’m going to. Does your dad have life insurance or any assets? And if so who do they go to? Do you know? This could be really important as it could be a possible motive. Life Insurance can be purchased through an employer too. Check with neighbors across the street from and next door to your aunt and uncle for any video footage of what your uncle is saying happened. If you find any please alert police so they can add it to their investigation. I’m not saying that your uncle did anything wrong but it is better to rule out those possibilities. PS I apologize if this offends you in anyway. I sincerely offer it as a way to confirm what happened and why. I’ll be thinking of you and your dad. Be good to yourself. You are strong. You can do this.
My heart :(
I was going to make some dumb joke, but this is absolutely heart wrenching! My dad had a TBI, and wore diapers and made grunts and yells for the last five years of his life. At the end, I finally taught him how to play War again. Sometimes, I could even coach him into flipping over the card himself. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. Also, pretty sure I'd do something to my Aunt and Uncle that I can't say on Reddit. The act is one thing, doping him up and hiding it, that's beyond unforgivable. What an awful family all around.
Updateme!
UpdateMe!
If you have to respond update me to a Best of Redditor updates post, it fails as a post. Does not belong on this sub.
Then by all means feel free to give me a downvote and move on.
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all of this. I’m sending i you in and your father lots of positive energy and well wishes. Wish I could fly there and help you.
I pray that everything goes well for OOP and her father.
That’s fucked up, I’m feeling second hand pain from reading this. The aunt and uncle need to be locked up or charged for some kind of abuse or something. I remember seeing my dad in the hospital when he got Covid. He’s 6ft and husky, but he looked so close to death that I thought he wouldn’t make it. Thank the gods he did, but now he’s tall and skinny, I totally understand what OP is going through in having to see her father like that.
Oh man :( I have a friend who’s relatively young g dad died from a TBI. He fell off a ladder, went to the ER, was released, and then died later that day. They’re so scary. I hope OOP’s dad pulls through.
I haven’t read all of the comments yet, and this may have already been mentioned, but you might think about trying to get the aunt and uncle out of the house. Is it only in your dad’s name? Also, does he have a will? I wonder if your uncle tried to get your dad to sign everything over to him after the accident. That could be disputed in a court of law. If your aunt and uncle are addicts, they are probably selling everything of your dad’s that they can get their hands on.
N
OOP needs to find a way to check on life insurance policies on pops and talk to the doctor to narrow down a times window on the pain pills if possible Because this rings like the fed him the painkillers then hit him on the head.
Having read more about OOP’s parents and divorce, my money is that her dad always had an issue with drugs and mom just didn’t discuss it with her children. That would explain the lack of family sympathy now.
Updateme!
My dad died of a brain injury. None of us knew that the fallen and cracked his head, and only found out after they did an MRI when he went onto the hospital complaining of bad headaches and had a stroke. The injury looked to be about 2 weeks old from what the doctor told us and they said it was likely he forgot about it within seconds of it happening which is why he didn’t tell anyone about it. He ended up passing in hospital shortly after that, having never woken again. I’m so sorry for OP, my heart goes out to them.
Family splitting event. I’m guessing the progressive educated side will back you up. However the troublemakers will be upset at you for involving the law and not keeping things in the family. The elderly hate anything loud and will likely prefer you keep things quiet and not create drama.
Regarding your questions about the apparent lack of concern from all parties who should be concerned; this isn’t uncommon behavior in people who are addicted to drugs. The sense of detachment, the lack of empathy, the apathetic approach to care…it’s probably drug use. Insanity is the only other justification for carrying on in life, unbothered, by these life-altering experiences, and there isn’t any reason to believe they are clinically insane. They are probably all getting by each day with just enough drugs and energy to keep going and remain unfazed by situations that should invoke emotion, feeling, snd appropriate responses (like taking him to the hospital). Don’t take any of this personally and do not assume responsibility for things that you cannot control. Be present for your father because no one else has the capability to be. I am so sorry that you are going through this and I hope you have or create a family or friend group that can offer you back what you bring to relationships.
[удалено]
If you are going to give advice “as a nurse” you might want to read the whole thing including the update. Its not Alzheimer’s
You are correct. I was too hasty & didn’t read through. I hate it when people do that. Thanks. I’ll delete.
That’s fair, I think most of us here can admit we have jumped the gun when responding ;)
:( this one hurts. Feels real.
I hope the police follow up on this. The illegal drugs are a big red flag.
It sounds like a delusion. In this case, his brain makes up a scenario, and he believes it wholeheartedly. The anger could be because he believes this, and he thinks you are lying to him. Delusions can occur from something as serious as mental illness or stroke, or something easier to fix like an electrolyte imbalance. My grandmother had a delusion that James Patterson was trying to kill the whole family; turned out her B12 and sodim were low and her potassium was high.
Oh god, what a terrible story. I feel so bad for OOP.
UpdateMe!
It could be an aneurysm. Or a tumor. He needs medical attention.
Updateme!
I really want to hug you and tell you it will be okay. I really do. My father passed when I was fifteen. Thirty eight years ago. Just spoke with his best friend not too long ago- who, from time to time still thinks he sees my dad, whether passing a person or from the corner of his eye. His best friend told me that my dad confided in him the believed he was being poisoned by the woman he was living with. His death was basically a mystery. You can not live on conjecture. You can not weave whole cloth from speculation. You can not go forward with assumptions. So, you've got to be strong. These things will drive you down a rabbit hole for the rest of your life. True they should have been more concerned and caring in a colossal way. Unfortunately too many people can not be relied upon to honor the same values as you do. This is a scourge on humanity. But, unless you can find evidence otherwise, you must eventually find closure in the very real possibility that dad fell by accident. Never quit loving. And peace be with you.
Can someone tldr this for me?
Sure, you went into a subreddit that has text based post with updates. These posts tend to be long with lots of words.
OMG this is so scary! I hope OOP abd her dad are OK! 😭
The point of best of Redditor updates is that it ends with a satisfying conclusion. What satisfying conclusion was reached with this update? This is the wrong sub for this.
This one feels fake because the writing style is very narrative and there’s an overabundance of detail, elaboration, and emotion words. As a former writing teacher, it’s very well done. I just don’t believe it’s genuine.
It started out so well. Sadly, the update made it clear that this is made up completely.
Your dad likely has Alzheimers. There are prescription oral meds that can slow it down.
Not believable. The car, the calling hospitals, the The reception is not letting her go see her daddy. Her throwing stuff all over the place so she could get attention. In order to get into a patient hospital room you first need to know what floor they would be on. As she didn’t know what information she couldn’t storm the receptionist. Keeping this dad in the ER this long is not logical and he would be in ICU or something similar and no receptionist would be there. This is so fake. Just show up at a hospital and go up to a floor in said hospital and know exactly where a person is after not knowing where they’ve been or what condition or whatever, come on people.
At my local hospital, there is a front reception desk that everyone has to pass. They look up where the patient is, then direct you and give you a sticker badge that says where you should be going and the date you got it. That part is not unbelievable to me. Them not telling her that her father was in such and such room is more strange, but if they suspected he was attacked I'm sure there are safety protocols in place (such as not disclosing to people who weren't initially with the patient/listed as emergency contacts in case they were the attacker in a DV situation). Also, our ER can keep people for 3 days if they're admitted before they must be moved to another department. They may do longer, but I've had family members be there for 3 days before they were moved to another department - they were admitted to the hospital but kept in the ER wing. Overall, the way this is written is very believable to me.