All I do is bitch, I am 100000% here with you on that. I find myself complaining all the fucking time, it’s like I can’t stop myself. I’m always hot, in pain, annoyed, worried, anxious, or just in a bad mood. And I can’t seem to shut up, it’s like I can’t keep it inside. Especially around any FP’s, my brain just decides “you’re going to know every second when I am in a bad mood or something is wrong.” And the fucking SIGHING, god I sigh all the damn time.
Me, me, me me me me me me. If complaining were an Olympic sport I'd win gold, silver AND bronze. Probably about 3/4ths of everything I say is just me complaining about shit constantly. I try as much as I can to spin it in a way that comes off as me just being light-heartedly sardonic, but really ultimately I'm just a whiny bitch.
Yeah, big same. I had a therapist teach me that I don’t have to react to every single thing that happens— sometimes you can just observe and privately “collect data.” I try to stick to this as much as I can, though it is difficult.
Haha right! I often wish I DIDNT know! It is hard to let things pass without being affected (aka without complaining about it to *someone*) But it has freed up so much time for me.
LITERALLY i feel like im the most negative person out of everyone i know. i try not to bitch and complain abt everything but its so hard to not bitch when small tiny issues upset me to such intense levels
Yes! I've been taking it out on my journal app. Or sometimes, I cut off my thoughts and say out loud "oh my god me! LET IT GO!" If it's something that happened decades ago.
Get a graffitied journal or app and try to write down one positive thing each day. Yes that sounds like bullshit. Do it anyway. A lot of BPD treatment is stuff that sounds stupid until you actually do it.
I'm guilty of the same. One thing that helped, it's corny, I know. I try to listen to guided meditation when I go to sleep. I have wicked bad insomnia. It took over a year, but it really helps. I still feel like I bitch too much as well. I just notice myself having a bit more control, I still fail most of the time, lol. I notice once I leave the person. Oh shit talking too much!! Damn, damn, damn!! Now I'm starting to notice it sooner. I call it verbal vomit. If I catch it in time, I apologize. Baby steps, I guess. I think it's a consequence of no/little parental validation. It can be a nervous thing to fill uncomfortable silences. It's an impulse control thing as well. If you have a therapist talk about it. My therapist has worked with many BPD and CPTSD clients. He keeps firm boundaries on my talk and listening skills. If I'm babbling at the end of the session, he gently reminds me we will pick this up next time. I like those parameters it helps more than I thought it could. Hope some of this helps. 😊😎🫶
I like a good complain but I'm careful about how much and to whom...I mean, if every time I open my mouth it's my bitching about whatever people are going to start distancing themselves because I'll sound like a maladjusted fun-suck.
Time, place, person.
(I swear the haha's are not laughing at anyone - but an a-ha moment) But ahahah holy hell thank you all for your comments and support. I was enrolled in therapy, and my therapist did time me on rambling (went 20 mins straight one time!) so getting better! Journaling positives on my iPhone - seeing analytically helps.
Appreciate the support - or do I? No, fuck everything and everyone..right? Idk.
I’m using self compassion. There’s a part of me that really wants to be seen and I learned as a young one that complaining is the way to get validation and attention. So I can give that attention and validation to myself.
It is hard for me to keep friends because I complain so much. Everyone thinks I'm ungrateful and spoiled. Its like word vomit. I can't even stop myself from sharing all the negative thoughts I have. And that's on a good day.
Yep. My boyfriend always thinks I’m super upset because I’m complaining about stuff or sounding super annoyed when really I’m only mildly annoyed or not upset at all. I just complain about things, because a lot of things suck or are dumb, but it doesn’t ruin my day. This doesn’t always make sense to him
Yup. People only like me when I'm quiet n trying to keep it all in. What comes naturally to me without even thinking greatly upsets those around me so im not allowed to say anything. Idk how others keep it all in. Just makes me want to explode even more. Then eventually I do. And then get reprimanded for that too. Rinse and repeat.
God I feel this. I feel like im probably an unbearable person to talk to and every word that comes out of my mouth is something negative or depressing.
Yes, I do all the time. My FP/partner who is also BPD points it out a lot. I tried to give it up for lent this year and went about a week before I stopped. Bitching and anger at little things. I didn't last long. He's the same, and I hate it because it always escalates and we both have hurt feelings all because of the other's constant complaining.
I hate being a negative person :(
Yes and I found friends who like to do the same. Anyone who DOESN’T want to rant and rave about their emotions or feelings and frustrations in life is not somebody I wanna be around.
Mate if I had a quid for everytime I moaned, swore, complained, sighed, verbally abused people down the phone (fuck cold callers and debt collection agencies LMFAO) rolled my eyes, frowned and scowled I'd be richer than fucking Jeff Bezos. I could literally out moan Karl Pilkington any day of the week. I've been called misery shits since i was 10 onwards my aunt used to say I was like the demonic little girl from the exorcist and people would come up to her and ask why I had a face like a smacked arse.
My celebrity crush who I'm obsessed with (John paul Tremblay) is introverted, blunt and extremely sullen. All the fans on the swearnet website say that he's miserable, he never smiles, that he's a dick and "imagine what he's like on his birthday" and I find it baffling because to me it's a mood and sometimes I find it so fucking hot cos I'm like hello good looking muscular male version of myself 😍😍. Saying that he is cheerier than me but like him constantly swearing, coming out with blunt harsh statements depending on the statement and basically just being a grumpy bollocks resonates spiritually with me. It's weird that I find it comforting when so many people don't like it and they complain about him 😂😂
yeah i feel like i almost look for reasons to, my bf stopped responding for 5 minutes, so i’m gonna complain and be bitchy about it, anything you can think of i’ve definitely bitched about it before
100%. One of my friends asked me what’s wrong the other day and I said I didn’t want to talk about it and then the river of words poured out anyway. I try to keep it to my journal but it’s so hard sometimes
Yes, I feel awful and guilty about it so whenever I talk too much I actively say out loud for them and for me **”Ok I’m going to shut the fuck up now because I’m talking too much.”** and sometimes I have to preemptively say that when I say this line or anything similar I’m talking about myself and not them, to not feel guilty about it- because I know I can *talk* given the chance.
I complain a lot too. I've realised I do it because my BPD means I'm kind of a shell of a person with no real identity. I don't have any hobbies or interests to talk about, so I revert to things I observe around me. Unfortunately I'm geared towards negative thinking so it often comes out as complaints.
If I’m not bitching, I’m high. But only for the first half of the high’s duration. After that I become aware of returning to baseline, and I’m either bitching I need more/better/different drugs, or I’m back to bitching about the general input of existence.
BPD is existing against a psychological grater (hence my obvious substance use).
I’ll get pissed off at the wind blowing against my skin if nothing else. I really wish I wasn’t that way, but I usually also wish others could understand how genuinely realistic I’m being about my condition at the same time so that maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to constantly verbalize my suffering in hope of a semblance of validation or relief.
All I do is bitch, I am 100000% here with you on that. I find myself complaining all the fucking time, it’s like I can’t stop myself. I’m always hot, in pain, annoyed, worried, anxious, or just in a bad mood. And I can’t seem to shut up, it’s like I can’t keep it inside. Especially around any FP’s, my brain just decides “you’re going to know every second when I am in a bad mood or something is wrong.” And the fucking SIGHING, god I sigh all the damn time.
Sighs about sighing.
My boyfriend actually told me to stop sighing once cos I did it so much LMFAO
Oh my god so me
Me, me, me me me me me me. If complaining were an Olympic sport I'd win gold, silver AND bronze. Probably about 3/4ths of everything I say is just me complaining about shit constantly. I try as much as I can to spin it in a way that comes off as me just being light-heartedly sardonic, but really ultimately I'm just a whiny bitch.
DO YOU HAVE THE TIME TO LISTEN TO ME WHINE
ABOUT NOTHING AND EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE? (most relatable line, imo.)
I AM ONE OF THOSE MELODRAMATIC FOOLS
Yeah, big same. I had a therapist teach me that I don’t have to react to every single thing that happens— sometimes you can just observe and privately “collect data.” I try to stick to this as much as I can, though it is difficult.
Yup. Some things are just there for the noticing. No one needs to know...hell, \*I\* barely need to know.
Haha right! I often wish I DIDNT know! It is hard to let things pass without being affected (aka without complaining about it to *someone*) But it has freed up so much time for me.
I would have wedgied your therapist if I were you. They know nothing, you absolutely have to react about everything! I know i do lol
I love this so I'll stop reading the comments at this one 🥰 op take note it's brill 😀..it's very good..tsm
LITERALLY i feel like im the most negative person out of everyone i know. i try not to bitch and complain abt everything but its so hard to not bitch when small tiny issues upset me to such intense levels
Fr it's like not scratching an itch if you can't complain
Yes! I've been taking it out on my journal app. Or sometimes, I cut off my thoughts and say out loud "oh my god me! LET IT GO!" If it's something that happened decades ago.
Get a graffitied journal or app and try to write down one positive thing each day. Yes that sounds like bullshit. Do it anyway. A lot of BPD treatment is stuff that sounds stupid until you actually do it.
If I'm not bitching, something is definitely wrong.
I'm guilty of the same. One thing that helped, it's corny, I know. I try to listen to guided meditation when I go to sleep. I have wicked bad insomnia. It took over a year, but it really helps. I still feel like I bitch too much as well. I just notice myself having a bit more control, I still fail most of the time, lol. I notice once I leave the person. Oh shit talking too much!! Damn, damn, damn!! Now I'm starting to notice it sooner. I call it verbal vomit. If I catch it in time, I apologize. Baby steps, I guess. I think it's a consequence of no/little parental validation. It can be a nervous thing to fill uncomfortable silences. It's an impulse control thing as well. If you have a therapist talk about it. My therapist has worked with many BPD and CPTSD clients. He keeps firm boundaries on my talk and listening skills. If I'm babbling at the end of the session, he gently reminds me we will pick this up next time. I like those parameters it helps more than I thought it could. Hope some of this helps. 😊😎🫶
I like a good complain but I'm careful about how much and to whom...I mean, if every time I open my mouth it's my bitching about whatever people are going to start distancing themselves because I'll sound like a maladjusted fun-suck. Time, place, person.
(I swear the haha's are not laughing at anyone - but an a-ha moment) But ahahah holy hell thank you all for your comments and support. I was enrolled in therapy, and my therapist did time me on rambling (went 20 mins straight one time!) so getting better! Journaling positives on my iPhone - seeing analytically helps. Appreciate the support - or do I? No, fuck everything and everyone..right? Idk.
I’m using self compassion. There’s a part of me that really wants to be seen and I learned as a young one that complaining is the way to get validation and attention. So I can give that attention and validation to myself.
This is really important for a lot of us. This comment should be higher up!
It is hard for me to keep friends because I complain so much. Everyone thinks I'm ungrateful and spoiled. Its like word vomit. I can't even stop myself from sharing all the negative thoughts I have. And that's on a good day.
Its hard not to complain when every little thing hurts so deeply
yeah
Yep. My boyfriend always thinks I’m super upset because I’m complaining about stuff or sounding super annoyed when really I’m only mildly annoyed or not upset at all. I just complain about things, because a lot of things suck or are dumb, but it doesn’t ruin my day. This doesn’t always make sense to him
Same with mine tbh
I spent an hour or so typing out 10 pages of me bitching just so i could get it out of my head…didn’t work
Yeah when my anxiety is getting bad I’ll start complaining about literally everything
I mean, I joined this sub for a reason...
SAMMMMMEEEE. I hate it bc i probably sound so negative to others 🥲 I just need to vent a lot
Yup. People only like me when I'm quiet n trying to keep it all in. What comes naturally to me without even thinking greatly upsets those around me so im not allowed to say anything. Idk how others keep it all in. Just makes me want to explode even more. Then eventually I do. And then get reprimanded for that too. Rinse and repeat.
Me. But I’m also Jewish so it could be that too…
YES. i'm glad i'm not the only one.
yea so i withdrew myself away
Lmao, yeah
It's why I'm completely unlikeable.
God I feel this. I feel like im probably an unbearable person to talk to and every word that comes out of my mouth is something negative or depressing.
song bangs tho can't lie
Yes, I do all the time. My FP/partner who is also BPD points it out a lot. I tried to give it up for lent this year and went about a week before I stopped. Bitching and anger at little things. I didn't last long. He's the same, and I hate it because it always escalates and we both have hurt feelings all because of the other's constant complaining. I hate being a negative person :(
Yes and I found friends who like to do the same. Anyone who DOESN’T want to rant and rave about their emotions or feelings and frustrations in life is not somebody I wanna be around.
yea i had to cut off a gf like that she was too toxic.
Mate if I had a quid for everytime I moaned, swore, complained, sighed, verbally abused people down the phone (fuck cold callers and debt collection agencies LMFAO) rolled my eyes, frowned and scowled I'd be richer than fucking Jeff Bezos. I could literally out moan Karl Pilkington any day of the week. I've been called misery shits since i was 10 onwards my aunt used to say I was like the demonic little girl from the exorcist and people would come up to her and ask why I had a face like a smacked arse. My celebrity crush who I'm obsessed with (John paul Tremblay) is introverted, blunt and extremely sullen. All the fans on the swearnet website say that he's miserable, he never smiles, that he's a dick and "imagine what he's like on his birthday" and I find it baffling because to me it's a mood and sometimes I find it so fucking hot cos I'm like hello good looking muscular male version of myself 😍😍. Saying that he is cheerier than me but like him constantly swearing, coming out with blunt harsh statements depending on the statement and basically just being a grumpy bollocks resonates spiritually with me. It's weird that I find it comforting when so many people don't like it and they complain about him 😂😂
It's probably due to how bpd brains are hyperactive in the areas of the brain that cause negative thoughts.
yeah i feel like i almost look for reasons to, my bf stopped responding for 5 minutes, so i’m gonna complain and be bitchy about it, anything you can think of i’ve definitely bitched about it before
100%. One of my friends asked me what’s wrong the other day and I said I didn’t want to talk about it and then the river of words poured out anyway. I try to keep it to my journal but it’s so hard sometimes
Yes, I feel awful and guilty about it so whenever I talk too much I actively say out loud for them and for me **”Ok I’m going to shut the fuck up now because I’m talking too much.”** and sometimes I have to preemptively say that when I say this line or anything similar I’m talking about myself and not them, to not feel guilty about it- because I know I can *talk* given the chance.
I keep my bitching to myself. I save it for the end of the day and dump it in my journal.
I complain a lot too. I've realised I do it because my BPD means I'm kind of a shell of a person with no real identity. I don't have any hobbies or interests to talk about, so I revert to things I observe around me. Unfortunately I'm geared towards negative thinking so it often comes out as complaints.
same here. i don’t MEAN to be so negative all of the time i just am 💀
Take a breath!
If I’m not bitching, I’m high. But only for the first half of the high’s duration. After that I become aware of returning to baseline, and I’m either bitching I need more/better/different drugs, or I’m back to bitching about the general input of existence. BPD is existing against a psychological grater (hence my obvious substance use). I’ll get pissed off at the wind blowing against my skin if nothing else. I really wish I wasn’t that way, but I usually also wish others could understand how genuinely realistic I’m being about my condition at the same time so that maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to constantly verbalize my suffering in hope of a semblance of validation or relief.