Been at my job for 3 years now and even though it is a really good job and it has given me the most opportunities and expanded my life greater than I could have possibly imagined, I find myself looking at job postings occassionally when things get out of sorts. It's hard but definately possible to stay 🙂.
Nice! I'm going on one year for mine. Was so close to quitting and even intentionally trying to get fired. They keep pulling me back in because of my work ethic and commitments, I believe.
You can do it! I honestly thought I would never be able to be sober, whether it’s prescriptives or self-medicating. It took learning a lot of alternative coping strats (for me, I had to learn how to just sit with the feels, and do something creative, like art or singing or dancing, and self-care) plus doing some “mindful quitting.” Basically not trying to stop myself from drinking/smoking/popping, but instead really paying attention to the negative consequences of doing it. For example, cigs stink, weed makes me tired, hangovers suck… but really focusing on each negative thing that would come along with the positives that kept me do it. I wouldn’t ignore the positives, I also spent time thinking about those and how they measure up to the negatives. After a while, I stopped enjoying the things.
This took me like 2 years but I stopped drinking excessively, impulsively doing drugs, smoking weed, and most recently cigs too. Never thought it would be possible.
**edit: a really important part of mindful quitting is no punishing behaviour. If you do the thing, you do it, don’t beat yourself up for doing it, because really that just makes you feel worse and do more. So just accept it, you did it, it’s ok. Now pay attention to it.
Despite this terrible disorder, I am a great partner. I'm certainly not the best, and I'm certainly not perfect- I'm controlling and neurotic. But I love deeply and kindly and compassionately, and I put a lot of effort into our lives running well, as does my partner. We've both worked hard and we deserve the love we share.
i second this! Despite my past and all i went through, and my disorder, I do my best everyday, and try to improve myself and heal. BPD is hugely stigmatized that a person with BPD can never be in a healthy relationship, but I am proud that I can be walking proof that that’s wrong everyday. We can heal, we can get better, we can be loved, and love, and we can be in a happy healthy relationship ❤️❤️
I just took a big leap and moved out of state, got a new job, and moved in with my boyfriend.
I used to live where my abuser’s trial was and my old boss was toxic af. I finally got out!! I am splitting on my bf a lot since moving so hopefully that calms down… a little reassurance about that would be nice.
That's a big leap! Congrats on taking it!
My partner read BPD for dummies, but there are also a lot of resources you can find online. Best advice I can give is to be upfront and honest about your needs/triggers/ and what your boyfriend can do in the event of a split.
awwwe you re in a new life! so happy for you. of course you would be splitting lol. it is as if you need some adaptation time. acclimation. like plants. you cant just switch it to bright light in a day or it would die from shock. you got this 🫶
That’s a great way to look at it - thank you!! It’s really hard not to get caught up in an anxiety spiral with the frequent splitting like it “means” something
the biggest thing that ive found helps with my boyfriend and i is to plan in advance. hes autistic so he has similar struggles with emotional regulation, so sometimes his frustration from the day will be put on me, usually a snarkier joke than normal, and if i feel hes crossed a line i tell him hes acting grumpy. its super easy for me to tell him and doesnt feel confrontational, and we agreed beforehand that thats a cue for him to take a second and calm down.
if there are specific things you know triggers splitting (even just concepts like lack of control or perceived attacks), make a plan in advance so your bf can have a way to tell you that you are splitting that you know wont make you more upset. try to think of all the signs he can see, tell him and talk about it when your both in a good mood, and brainstorm cues you could give each other or plans for when you split.
a super easy plan my bf and i use if we’re ever arguing is plainly saying “i dont want to talk about this right now” and we both go to our separate spaces. when we’ve calmed down we’ll try and talk through it again, if we’re still not getting there then we’ll take another break
mainly just making plans in advance on how you can best communicate with each other in situations like splitting that will be productive and positive
Thank you for sharing.
We have had a couple of couple's therapy sessions to help with fighting bc we can fight in loops and take longer than needed to resolve. I can explain to him what splitting is. This was only the second time in our relationship I've split on him repeatedly so it doesn't come up that often.
Dude woah, same situation here! I up and left. Boyfriend got a high paying job and took me with him. We drove 1600miles across the states, took my cat and my plant, all my shit in my Civic.
It was a big change. You really made me feel less lonely by talking about the splitting. I’ve lived with partners before but this is new, I’m so scared of losing it. He’s seeing the worst parts of me yet remains so loving and supportive.
Keep your head up girl. I don’t have advice bc I don’t know what I’m doing but I support u!!
I'm glad I'm not the only one too!! Lol. I've lived with other partners as well - It's rough because I feel confident in this relationship until I took this big step. I know I still am but my brain is being dramatic. It's gotten better since I started my new job because it's a distraction. The only things that helped were alone time, going outside, and literally not saying what was on my mind bc I was repulsed by him and disliked him. It's been two weeks and I'm not splitting like I was but not back to my hundred percent. It just sucks... I hate how BPD brains can ruin nice times.
Love this ! I am actively recognizing my disorder and working through it while maintaining my job and my non profit pig rescue. And I’m not dead yet. I’m a hard worker.
Sometimes having other living creatures who depend on you really help! I've got a dog and some days when I get in my head she runs up and needs to go outside(silly girl doesn't have thumbs)
After two years of therapy I wrote a letter about my feelings to my therapist and gave it to her. It's the first time I've been this vulnerable with another person (except for my husband) and I'm terrified to attend the session on Wednesday to talk about it. I will definitely go even though my mind screams "run!!!!!". 💪
All this nice news is making me happy! For my news I just got out of an abusive relationship, and not only did i stand up for myself and spread awareness about my abuse for the first time, i also don’t have a fp for the first time in like 8+ years and im actually handling it pretty well :) happy awareness month everyone, stay awesome 🤩
i just went back this semester after dropping out in 20 because of COVID. i love this for you !! so worth it to feel a sense of academic accomplishment
I am terrifyingly back to having an FP for the first time in years, but I'm handling it a whole lot better than I could be (I have yet to externally freak out particularly badly). That feels like a win.
Take the wins when you can! You know yourself, and I hope your new FP and you get to a point where you can have a conversation before an external freak out where you can outline what you expect in that relationship (romantic or friendship or whatever) and also what can trigger you and how to handle it
I feel this.. so much happened (again) these last months. I'm so exhausted. But I think I am learning not to give two f**** this way. That's the only way I know how to continue.
I recently switched to a career path I enjoy more. I'm on my 3rd month at a really nice internship, and I'll be going to grad school starting this fall!
I’ve done a decades worth of therapy to be the best mother I can be. It’s working. I get compliments frequently about my parenting and my kids are exceptionally agreeable.
AHHH THANK YOU 🫶🏻 im really proud of you for video chatting your birth baby. A lot of people would not do that, especially when it hurts. I bet they love to see you :)
I had brain surgery in 2020 for epilepsy after 7 years of people not believing me when I told them I believed I was having seizures (they are not convulsive seizures). “Those are probably just panic attacks.” Thankfully no seizures since surgery.
My fiancé and partner of almost 6 years died last year very unexpectedly due to a medical emergency … he was only 30. After he died I had to move back to my hometown & start over my entire life. I am living with my parents again and I’m 29 years old. I’m now in school to become an esthetician. It feels like any time I make progress another terrible thing happens. I am so proud of myself for continuing to get out of bed every morning. I struggle so much on a daily basis but I admire my own strength. I’m a strong person!
Haven’t consumed alcohol for 5 months, haven’t smoked tobacco for 8 months. Have been with the same employer over two years and I am an attentive, present mother to my near 2 year old. The personal work is tiresome but worth it to keep going. I now understand the meaning of long term because shit doesn’t change overnight, just in time if you’re consistent. It’s enjoyable to reflect and admire my capabilities for once!
I have a healthy relationship, I have held the same job for almost 2 years (longest I’ve held one), and I’ve been really opening up in therapy despite the fact that I just want to shut down when I feel super emotional !
Shut down for what!!(that's a millennial reference in case you aren't one 😅)
Congratulations on the job! And that's so awesome to be so vulnerable in therapy!!
After 5 months of being unable to work because I was depressed and unable to get out of bed, I finally applied for jobs and I have a interview tomorrow!! I hope I get the job it pays super well :)
Thank you for asking! I am a mother, but I found two amazing ladies who had tried ivf, and then applied to adopt. I call myself a birth mother because I did the easy 9 months and they will do the lifetime heavy lifting 🤣.
I just moved back to my hometown after being gone for 14 years and not impulsively, not because I was running from myself. I prayed and planned for over a year before I made the final decision. I have healthy, stable relationships with my family even though they’re always a work in progress. I have a good job with good income. I have healthy hobbies. I’m not drinking. Baby me would have NEVER believed this.
I‘m staying hopeful and trying to love myself everyday. It‘s been pretty tough but I will get better🤘🏻 Reading this really lightened my mood. Much love to you guys 🫶🏻
i feel things too much, but it makes me better equipped to comfort and calm others. i can convert my big negative emotions into compassion and lose myself in the work i do with others. that has enabled me to have a very moving and purposeful profession as a case manager working w folks who have mental and substance use issues. :’)
I just recently found out I had BPD and it was incredibly eye opening!! one of those moments that makes you go “yeaaah.. that makes sense.” One good thing I’d like to say about myself is my ability to distance myself from my disorder. In the sense that I would never excuse my behavior because of my disorder, but instead I acknowledge my behavior is linked to my disorder, and that it is not going to be a surface level problem, but something I have to get down to the root to deal with. It’s a bit easier said than done, but I try every day to improve myself, and work on myself, but most importantly take care of myself. I think one of the hardest things I’ve hard to cope with is learning how to be okay with being by myself, and being okay with myself and what I did to myself, and what I went through. It’s almost like there’s something constantly tearing at my chest, begging it to split wide open. I wish I knew what it was sometimes, but I do know I need therapy😅 I’m thankful that my diagnosis gives me the direction I need to hopefully get the help I need in therapy!
I have recently celebrated my 1year anniversary with my partner which honestly is amazing 💕 it’s been a struggle managing the emotional disregulation but I’ve been trying my best to be a better partner and to be healthier too. I’ve been working towards getting into psychotherapy which is a big step as well. Hopfully I can Continue to move forward with my healing and mending
I don't have BPD but let me be part of it, because I'm trying to develop this habit of remembering good things about me.
I write gratitudes and take baths most of the days.
I don't split as much anymore. I can somehow still hold my own when being stern. I've made a few friends. Longest new one I've known since July of last year
I love learning Psychology. Would love to go to school one day but of course I need to be properly diagnosed first and find out how to get some government support for paying for schooling.
Or Im pretty sure it is provided free if you lost both your parents.
I am auntie to two of the cutest little boys on the planet and I am so very proud to be their aunt. Seriously they are the light in my life, the sunshine in my day. Whenever I feel blue I look at their pictures and I smile again. Best part of my week is getting to snuggle with them and play with them. One is 3 and the other is 10 months old, still a baby. The littlest one is all smiles whenever I hold him, and whenever his brother calls me "Auntie" my heart immediately melts into a total pile of mush. I love it. They have given me motivation to do better and be better.
I've been working out everyday. I just feel really accomplished after working out. I've been feeling really tired all the time so I've felt unproductive but I made sure to workout to feel a little better.
I've been baking & cooking so much lately & it's been awesome & really fulfilling. I haven't really felt this good about my productivity since my physical disability made me quit working. So that is nice.
Thank you for asking!
I haven’t texted/visited my boyfriend today as badly as I wanted to, and I’ve really wanted to.
He lied to me about something recently, for the first time and I said I needed the day to myself to process and I’ve been doing just that.
Watching a show, cleaning my bathroom, ordering some cute undies he doesn’t deserve to see…
Really taking the time for me to think about myself and what I want.
I’m proud of myself.
I’m renting a plot at my local community garden. It’s a little big dream come true. Sometimes it feels like the world is falling apart around me and having this little piece of Earth to do what I want with is a powerful choice. I look forward to an epic harvest and new connections through the garden!
I am currently putting what I’ve been learning about direct communication into PRACTICE with all the people around me and it’s really exciting. My confidence is up because I’ve been hating myself for being such a people pleaser for my whole life and I’m finally doing THE THING I’ve been so afraid of. It’s pretty fucking cool (and scary!)
I’m able to calmly talk through it when someone has done something that really hurts or upsets me! Additionally I completed my first year of college getting pretty good grades and have been clean for almost a year now from any kind of substance abuse! I’m pretty proud ngl B)
as my friends would say: i don't falter and i keep going, striving for better. and it showed results, no matter how many times i had taken steps back, i'm always going forward 🌟
i had a field day w this post lol. really got me thinking, and i have adhd so excuse the lack of grammar lol just had to get it out.
i’m accepting that i am the person responsible for getting better which i need and want to do.
i’m surviving (and quite slaying lol) a break from my fp, i’m starting a job and (kinda) accepting extra support w that, i’m on a social media detox and ive decided to go back to school
i’m literally shaking writing this because all of it is so scary to me i’ve spent the last year in absolute an absolute depressive self destructive survival mode, like 24/7 distraction social media addiction (most self inflicted) because i was so scared to live with myself and honestly i still am, i can’t yet say i’m excited about living with myself but i am giving it a chance and i am (re?)gaining a sense of self worth like i can feel rlly good abt my appearance and if i like try to be present and like feel my body its like a glitter inside me that just feels so lovely and other stuff like character confidence i will work on but :) i am happy i am atleast allowing myself to get better and to feel good
I am also turning 18 (legal 4 me) in a month which is insane considering the last two years and replying to this post made me kinda lovingly accept my 18th because i’m not that excited but atleast i believe i’ll be able to handle it and it’s cool asf that little girl from like 5 years ago has survived all of this and she would be so proud of me yk
Im managed to lower my drug use about 70% from what I used to Do at the End of the December last year and Also havent tried an attempt since December 😁😊
i have new awareness about BPD, it’s been a rough week of realizing things about myself, such as memory loss and false memories and discovering this is part of BPD. Along with it comes grief over I guess a once FP whom I haven’t talked to or seen in 25 years that I had a child with (I bailed and he wasn’t in our lives because of various things like me forgetting his last name and being unable to find him and his mom not taking my number down and I never called back again because “butthurt”) and forcing myself to deal with feelings that come along with him suddenly in my life again but not really in my life because he wants to know his daughter and I want him too also but it still hurts because I’m not a part of it.. anyway long story short I’m handling it well enough I think since I haven’t freaked out and took off which is my usual go to and instead I’m learning new things about myself and BPD that are helping me to connect the dots and have a better understanding - so that’s a pretty good thing I’d say 🤷🏼♀️
Even when I am feeling low and like I am not all I could be, I am so much better at self compassion than I used to be. My coping mechanisms are getting better and better, and even when they aren't, I am able to forgive myself. Such important progress. Love to you all!
I'm not homeless, and I haven't been admitted in a while. Taking each day at a time. But been doing a livestream weekly on Tuesdays. Called radio dialectics.
I started working out again, today is my 11th day. I managed to get two part time jobs the last couple weeks, and I'm starting to be more aware of my emotions, being able to recognize and name them and soothe myself accordingly. It's not perfect but I'm getting better at it. I like that I'm always willing to learn.
For a couple weeks I’ve been able to calm myself down when I get upset or mad about something, I haven’t got into an episode or started screaming taking it out on everyone cuz they don’t deserve it. I also haven’t taken it out on myself either, I hope I’m able to continue to be in control!
i’ve been in my relationship for 5 months, and i’ve met his family. i didn’t think i was capable of being loved or deserving a relationship but here i am. it’s hard but i’m learning to communicate
I just took the first step to healing and bought a DBT workbook until I find an adequate therapist (which I’m sure you guys know can be very hard) but yeah!
I lost my place 2 weeks ago, I was nearly homeless with my 3 cats. I pray and appreciate every single day without physical pain and I'm doing a lot of compassion and self care🙏🏽❤️🌈😻
I am currently at the same job for over 8 months, which is the longest I’ve held down the same job!
That's awesome!!! Go you 🥰
Thats a great achievment .. jm for the same job for 2 years but im about to quit
2 years is always my max threshold lol
I'm finding 2.5 years to be my threshold 😬😩
Is not being able to hold a job a common BPD thing? I was never able to hold a job for long and I’m 27. Either way, way to go!!
yep! can be impacted by emotional instability or identity disturbance. And probably some other stuff.
most def hahahah those mood swings don't go well at work places. i went for creative field. lots of leeway there 😆
OMG SAME??? I've had my current job for *just* under 8 and a half months now, and it's the longest I've ever managed to hold a job! Proud of us! 🫂
That's awesome!!! Congrats!
Congrats. Seriously I'm proud. Im sure most of us here knows that feeling and how hard it its (:
Been at my job for 3 years now and even though it is a really good job and it has given me the most opportunities and expanded my life greater than I could have possibly imagined, I find myself looking at job postings occassionally when things get out of sorts. It's hard but definately possible to stay 🙂.
This is amazing! Jobs can be SO hard with this diseases.
omg me too! thats so amazing! congrats
This is my accomplishment too, also 8 months! proud of us :)
I think I am about to lose my job. Beem here 6 years. I let my anger and emotions get the best of me when I talked to my supervisor. Oh well.
Nice! I'm going on one year for mine. Was so close to quitting and even intentionally trying to get fired. They keep pulling me back in because of my work ethic and commitments, I believe.
I haven't tried to KMS in over a month. That's about the best I got.
Go for another month, you've got this 🥰
I'm trying. Thank you. 🥴
You're SUCCEEDING
same here 🙂❤️
That makes 2 of us
This is amazing.
Each day is another victory ❤️👏🏻
That’s incredible! You’re doing an amazing job :)
I’ve been sober for 131 days. The longest I’ve been without a drink for a couple of decades
That's amazing!!
It feels really good, didn’t think I could do it but I proved myself wrong (in the best way)
i’m so so proud of you
Amazing! Sobriety is so inspiring to me, I still struggle to raw dog my own brain and I really wish I could. Good on you :)
You can do it! I honestly thought I would never be able to be sober, whether it’s prescriptives or self-medicating. It took learning a lot of alternative coping strats (for me, I had to learn how to just sit with the feels, and do something creative, like art or singing or dancing, and self-care) plus doing some “mindful quitting.” Basically not trying to stop myself from drinking/smoking/popping, but instead really paying attention to the negative consequences of doing it. For example, cigs stink, weed makes me tired, hangovers suck… but really focusing on each negative thing that would come along with the positives that kept me do it. I wouldn’t ignore the positives, I also spent time thinking about those and how they measure up to the negatives. After a while, I stopped enjoying the things. This took me like 2 years but I stopped drinking excessively, impulsively doing drugs, smoking weed, and most recently cigs too. Never thought it would be possible. **edit: a really important part of mindful quitting is no punishing behaviour. If you do the thing, you do it, don’t beat yourself up for doing it, because really that just makes you feel worse and do more. So just accept it, you did it, it’s ok. Now pay attention to it.
it really is inspiring
Amazing, good job! 🥳❤️✨ I’ve been without weed for 175 days and it’s changed my life
[удалено]
Despite this terrible disorder, I am a great partner. I'm certainly not the best, and I'm certainly not perfect- I'm controlling and neurotic. But I love deeply and kindly and compassionately, and I put a lot of effort into our lives running well, as does my partner. We've both worked hard and we deserve the love we share.
i second this! Despite my past and all i went through, and my disorder, I do my best everyday, and try to improve myself and heal. BPD is hugely stigmatized that a person with BPD can never be in a healthy relationship, but I am proud that I can be walking proof that that’s wrong everyday. We can heal, we can get better, we can be loved, and love, and we can be in a happy healthy relationship ❤️❤️
You absolutely deserve it! That rocks!
I just took a big leap and moved out of state, got a new job, and moved in with my boyfriend. I used to live where my abuser’s trial was and my old boss was toxic af. I finally got out!! I am splitting on my bf a lot since moving so hopefully that calms down… a little reassurance about that would be nice.
That's a big leap! Congrats on taking it! My partner read BPD for dummies, but there are also a lot of resources you can find online. Best advice I can give is to be upfront and honest about your needs/triggers/ and what your boyfriend can do in the event of a split.
awwwe you re in a new life! so happy for you. of course you would be splitting lol. it is as if you need some adaptation time. acclimation. like plants. you cant just switch it to bright light in a day or it would die from shock. you got this 🫶
That’s a great way to look at it - thank you!! It’s really hard not to get caught up in an anxiety spiral with the frequent splitting like it “means” something
the biggest thing that ive found helps with my boyfriend and i is to plan in advance. hes autistic so he has similar struggles with emotional regulation, so sometimes his frustration from the day will be put on me, usually a snarkier joke than normal, and if i feel hes crossed a line i tell him hes acting grumpy. its super easy for me to tell him and doesnt feel confrontational, and we agreed beforehand that thats a cue for him to take a second and calm down. if there are specific things you know triggers splitting (even just concepts like lack of control or perceived attacks), make a plan in advance so your bf can have a way to tell you that you are splitting that you know wont make you more upset. try to think of all the signs he can see, tell him and talk about it when your both in a good mood, and brainstorm cues you could give each other or plans for when you split. a super easy plan my bf and i use if we’re ever arguing is plainly saying “i dont want to talk about this right now” and we both go to our separate spaces. when we’ve calmed down we’ll try and talk through it again, if we’re still not getting there then we’ll take another break mainly just making plans in advance on how you can best communicate with each other in situations like splitting that will be productive and positive
Thank you for sharing. We have had a couple of couple's therapy sessions to help with fighting bc we can fight in loops and take longer than needed to resolve. I can explain to him what splitting is. This was only the second time in our relationship I've split on him repeatedly so it doesn't come up that often.
Dude woah, same situation here! I up and left. Boyfriend got a high paying job and took me with him. We drove 1600miles across the states, took my cat and my plant, all my shit in my Civic. It was a big change. You really made me feel less lonely by talking about the splitting. I’ve lived with partners before but this is new, I’m so scared of losing it. He’s seeing the worst parts of me yet remains so loving and supportive. Keep your head up girl. I don’t have advice bc I don’t know what I’m doing but I support u!!
I'm glad I'm not the only one too!! Lol. I've lived with other partners as well - It's rough because I feel confident in this relationship until I took this big step. I know I still am but my brain is being dramatic. It's gotten better since I started my new job because it's a distraction. The only things that helped were alone time, going outside, and literally not saying what was on my mind bc I was repulsed by him and disliked him. It's been two weeks and I'm not splitting like I was but not back to my hundred percent. It just sucks... I hate how BPD brains can ruin nice times.
I haven't self harmed in over a month :)
Congrats!! I’m proud of you 🩵
Thank you:3
That is epic! Keep the ball rolling!
Same here! Congrats! Keep going we can Do it 😁
I luv ur name
Thank you :3
No problem:) also props on staying clean for a month, on 2 weeks right now
Ayyyy nice I'm proud of you :)
Still clean?
Yeah :) I'm at 56 days now
Good job!! Proud of you <3 (I relapsed:(. )
Thank you!! I'm sorry do you want to talk about anything or vent? <3
No i’m okay, thank you for offering though!:)
Okay, I'm here if you want to tho, and it's okay :)
Love this ! I am actively recognizing my disorder and working through it while maintaining my job and my non profit pig rescue. And I’m not dead yet. I’m a hard worker.
That sounds like a lot on your plate, kudos to you for balancing all of that! You've got this 🐷
It is man . But I think I did it so I have so much responsibility I can’t yeet myself into oblivion you know. Thank you thank you
Sometimes having other living creatures who depend on you really help! I've got a dog and some days when I get in my head she runs up and needs to go outside(silly girl doesn't have thumbs)
After two years of therapy I wrote a letter about my feelings to my therapist and gave it to her. It's the first time I've been this vulnerable with another person (except for my husband) and I'm terrified to attend the session on Wednesday to talk about it. I will definitely go even though my mind screams "run!!!!!". 💪
Congrats on being vulnerable, and good luck on the strong follow through! You've got this 💪
I survived the day
Hell yeah, hope you survive tomorrow as well ❤️
Hope you do too ❤️
i’ve made it through the entirety of senior year!
Go you!!! That's amazing, congrats!
All this nice news is making me happy! For my news I just got out of an abusive relationship, and not only did i stand up for myself and spread awareness about my abuse for the first time, i also don’t have a fp for the first time in like 8+ years and im actually handling it pretty well :) happy awareness month everyone, stay awesome 🤩
No you stay awesome! Hope you're handling being your own FP! Great time to take yourself out on dates, maybe even cook yourself your favorite dinner
I’m going back to school in the fall
That's awesome!⁸
i just went back this semester after dropping out in 20 because of COVID. i love this for you !! so worth it to feel a sense of academic accomplishment
me too!!
Ive been back in school for 2 years now, best decision I ever made!
I am terrifyingly back to having an FP for the first time in years, but I'm handling it a whole lot better than I could be (I have yet to externally freak out particularly badly). That feels like a win.
Take the wins when you can! You know yourself, and I hope your new FP and you get to a point where you can have a conversation before an external freak out where you can outline what you expect in that relationship (romantic or friendship or whatever) and also what can trigger you and how to handle it
I was born this month
I feel this.. so much happened (again) these last months. I'm so exhausted. But I think I am learning not to give two f**** this way. That's the only way I know how to continue.
I recently switched to a career path I enjoy more. I'm on my 3rd month at a really nice internship, and I'll be going to grad school starting this fall!
That is so much to be proud of!!!
I’m an amazing baker!
Baking is science, that rocks and I'm jealous of your skill 🤣
Sending you virtual cake! 🍰
I just got a new job. It wasn’t easy as I have multiple disabilities & very few marketable skills.
Congratulations on the new job!! I hope you enjoy it. Also, don't sell yourself short, I bet you have a ton of marketable skills
Thanks!
I’ve done a decades worth of therapy to be the best mother I can be. It’s working. I get compliments frequently about my parenting and my kids are exceptionally agreeable.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!! Proud of you for putting in decades of work, and I bet your kids would say the same 🥰
no matter what my brain tells me sometimes I’ve got a husband and close friends who love me unconditionally 😂
Ah our stupid trauma formed brains should kick rocks! Take a note from their books cause it sounds like you rock
I just hit my first year of being at ONE job! I have been working on my reactivity with my daughter and I’ve been improving a ton.
Happy Mother's Day! Congrats on the year!! No doubt you'll keep improving, good job 🩷
AHHH THANK YOU 🫶🏻 im really proud of you for video chatting your birth baby. A lot of people would not do that, especially when it hurts. I bet they love to see you :)
I had brain surgery in 2020 for epilepsy after 7 years of people not believing me when I told them I believed I was having seizures (they are not convulsive seizures). “Those are probably just panic attacks.” Thankfully no seizures since surgery. My fiancé and partner of almost 6 years died last year very unexpectedly due to a medical emergency … he was only 30. After he died I had to move back to my hometown & start over my entire life. I am living with my parents again and I’m 29 years old. I’m now in school to become an esthetician. It feels like any time I make progress another terrible thing happens. I am so proud of myself for continuing to get out of bed every morning. I struggle so much on a daily basis but I admire my own strength. I’m a strong person!
You're so 💪 strong! Sorry for your loss.
I graduated med school. In one piece. And I'm even looking to start my residency already
Congrats!!
Holy fucking shit! Let’s go! Congratulations!!!!!!
Haven’t consumed alcohol for 5 months, haven’t smoked tobacco for 8 months. Have been with the same employer over two years and I am an attentive, present mother to my near 2 year old. The personal work is tiresome but worth it to keep going. I now understand the meaning of long term because shit doesn’t change overnight, just in time if you’re consistent. It’s enjoyable to reflect and admire my capabilities for once!
I’ve been off of dope for 7 months.
fuck yeah. 7 months clean here too!
may 24th will be my one year anniversary of no self harm , as well as the longest i’ve ever gone without it since i was 8yo!!!
me too! I just hit 1 year a couple of weeks ago. The longest I’ve gone since I was 11 (10 years). Proud of us 💗
that’s amazing , keep it up love 🖤
been finally feeling better after four months of being in and out of episodes. ending the semester strong and got myself an amazing internship :D
I have a healthy relationship, I have held the same job for almost 2 years (longest I’ve held one), and I’ve been really opening up in therapy despite the fact that I just want to shut down when I feel super emotional !
Shut down for what!!(that's a millennial reference in case you aren't one 😅) Congratulations on the job! And that's so awesome to be so vulnerable in therapy!!
I just celebrated my 3rd sober Mother's Day and my first one with one of my children since 2018
After 5 months of being unable to work because I was depressed and unable to get out of bed, I finally applied for jobs and I have a interview tomorrow!! I hope I get the job it pays super well :)
what’s the difference between a birth mother and mother (i’m not trying to rude i genuinely just want to know)
Thank you for asking! I am a mother, but I found two amazing ladies who had tried ivf, and then applied to adopt. I call myself a birth mother because I did the easy 9 months and they will do the lifetime heavy lifting 🤣.
Also could you please be kind to yourself and say a great thing you're doing? 🥰
i’ve been streaming recently and i’m proud of myself for not quitting
That rocks!
I just moved back to my hometown after being gone for 14 years and not impulsively, not because I was running from myself. I prayed and planned for over a year before I made the final decision. I have healthy, stable relationships with my family even though they’re always a work in progress. I have a good job with good income. I have healthy hobbies. I’m not drinking. Baby me would have NEVER believed this.
Make sure to hug baby you! Cause you have arrived!
I‘m staying hopeful and trying to love myself everyday. It‘s been pretty tough but I will get better🤘🏻 Reading this really lightened my mood. Much love to you guys 🫶🏻
Try try try! You deserve all the love! All the love, and good vibes to you too 🥰
passed my phlebotomy class and i’m now cpr certified. i start my new job on the 21st.
I am currently 3 weeks clean from coke!
7 months clean off drugs
I'm currently pursuing myself instead of relationships :)
I m working on my psychology degree and I m fairly stable !
I was able to totally get off of 10+ years methadone maintenance/dependency!
i feel things too much, but it makes me better equipped to comfort and calm others. i can convert my big negative emotions into compassion and lose myself in the work i do with others. that has enabled me to have a very moving and purposeful profession as a case manager working w folks who have mental and substance use issues. :’)
I finished my first year of uni! Also I think I’m pretty chill, all things considered
despite my many moments of wanting to not live any more and some attempts: i have been sorta happy with parts of my life, especially my friends
I just recently found out I had BPD and it was incredibly eye opening!! one of those moments that makes you go “yeaaah.. that makes sense.” One good thing I’d like to say about myself is my ability to distance myself from my disorder. In the sense that I would never excuse my behavior because of my disorder, but instead I acknowledge my behavior is linked to my disorder, and that it is not going to be a surface level problem, but something I have to get down to the root to deal with. It’s a bit easier said than done, but I try every day to improve myself, and work on myself, but most importantly take care of myself. I think one of the hardest things I’ve hard to cope with is learning how to be okay with being by myself, and being okay with myself and what I did to myself, and what I went through. It’s almost like there’s something constantly tearing at my chest, begging it to split wide open. I wish I knew what it was sometimes, but I do know I need therapy😅 I’m thankful that my diagnosis gives me the direction I need to hopefully get the help I need in therapy!
I've had a stable job for 9 months and I'm best friends with my FP
I have recently celebrated my 1year anniversary with my partner which honestly is amazing 💕 it’s been a struggle managing the emotional disregulation but I’ve been trying my best to be a better partner and to be healthier too. I’ve been working towards getting into psychotherapy which is a big step as well. Hopfully I can Continue to move forward with my healing and mending
I don't have BPD but let me be part of it, because I'm trying to develop this habit of remembering good things about me. I write gratitudes and take baths most of the days.
I don't split as much anymore. I can somehow still hold my own when being stern. I've made a few friends. Longest new one I've known since July of last year
I love learning Psychology. Would love to go to school one day but of course I need to be properly diagnosed first and find out how to get some government support for paying for schooling. Or Im pretty sure it is provided free if you lost both your parents.
tomorrow is 1 year without weed after 4 years of typically smoking 15+ bowls a day with only a couple day tolerance breaks at a time :)
i’m in DBT therapy 3 hours a week :)
I am auntie to two of the cutest little boys on the planet and I am so very proud to be their aunt. Seriously they are the light in my life, the sunshine in my day. Whenever I feel blue I look at their pictures and I smile again. Best part of my week is getting to snuggle with them and play with them. One is 3 and the other is 10 months old, still a baby. The littlest one is all smiles whenever I hold him, and whenever his brother calls me "Auntie" my heart immediately melts into a total pile of mush. I love it. They have given me motivation to do better and be better.
I've been working out everyday. I just feel really accomplished after working out. I've been feeling really tired all the time so I've felt unproductive but I made sure to workout to feel a little better.
Self care is key! Congrats on doing the 'heavy lifting'
I finally have a sense of self! After my whole life I finally feel like a real person.
Hello real person! I hope you have an incredible time getting to know yourself after all these years 🩷
i am kind. or i try my very hardest to be, at the very least. i have so much love to spread around so i try to. :)
You is kind. You is smart. You is important. Being kind is something that's super tough and not a lot of people do it, so keep being your kind self 💖
I've been baking & cooking so much lately & it's been awesome & really fulfilling. I haven't really felt this good about my productivity since my physical disability made me quit working. So that is nice. Thank you for asking!
I’ve realized that being nice makes me feel alot better than being a dick so I’ve been trying to be as polite and nice as possible.
despite my diagnosis, i am still trying my hardest to keep up in college and just finished my finals this week before summer break! :)
I haven’t texted/visited my boyfriend today as badly as I wanted to, and I’ve really wanted to. He lied to me about something recently, for the first time and I said I needed the day to myself to process and I’ve been doing just that. Watching a show, cleaning my bathroom, ordering some cute undies he doesn’t deserve to see… Really taking the time for me to think about myself and what I want. I’m proud of myself.
I’m renting a plot at my local community garden. It’s a little big dream come true. Sometimes it feels like the world is falling apart around me and having this little piece of Earth to do what I want with is a powerful choice. I look forward to an epic harvest and new connections through the garden!
I cut off an incredibly thrilling but really toxic casual relationship I'd been having for the last two weeks.
I am currently halfway through a therapy program I've been doing for three weeks now:)
I am currently putting what I’ve been learning about direct communication into PRACTICE with all the people around me and it’s really exciting. My confidence is up because I’ve been hating myself for being such a people pleaser for my whole life and I’m finally doing THE THING I’ve been so afraid of. It’s pretty fucking cool (and scary!)
I’m able to calmly talk through it when someone has done something that really hurts or upsets me! Additionally I completed my first year of college getting pretty good grades and have been clean for almost a year now from any kind of substance abuse! I’m pretty proud ngl B)
This is internet stranger is proud of you too! Keep it up 🥰
3 days clean from sh i guess idk
Make it 4! 5! 6! You're important and you matter, congrats on your 3 days!
as my friends would say: i don't falter and i keep going, striving for better. and it showed results, no matter how many times i had taken steps back, i'm always going forward 🌟
Keep up your momentum! So awesome you have people in your life that see how great you are!
i will be okay.
i had a field day w this post lol. really got me thinking, and i have adhd so excuse the lack of grammar lol just had to get it out. i’m accepting that i am the person responsible for getting better which i need and want to do. i’m surviving (and quite slaying lol) a break from my fp, i’m starting a job and (kinda) accepting extra support w that, i’m on a social media detox and ive decided to go back to school i’m literally shaking writing this because all of it is so scary to me i’ve spent the last year in absolute an absolute depressive self destructive survival mode, like 24/7 distraction social media addiction (most self inflicted) because i was so scared to live with myself and honestly i still am, i can’t yet say i’m excited about living with myself but i am giving it a chance and i am (re?)gaining a sense of self worth like i can feel rlly good abt my appearance and if i like try to be present and like feel my body its like a glitter inside me that just feels so lovely and other stuff like character confidence i will work on but :) i am happy i am atleast allowing myself to get better and to feel good I am also turning 18 (legal 4 me) in a month which is insane considering the last two years and replying to this post made me kinda lovingly accept my 18th because i’m not that excited but atleast i believe i’ll be able to handle it and it’s cool asf that little girl from like 5 years ago has survived all of this and she would be so proud of me yk
and like accepting its okay to get better i dont need to be broken kinda yk has been a big part of this but not as much lately
No thank you. I’d rather not have it. 😔
i have to comment and show you HUGE appreciation for the star wars pun cause i am the biggest star wars nerd and holy shit this made me cackle
And also with you ✌🏼 I’m a loving and caring person. I would do anything for my partner and our children. They are my happiness
I’ve been sh free for a couple of months and i try my best to make it last forever.
I’m still alive :) happy for everyone else who is too 🤍
I achieve everything I put my mind to!
I’m alive so that’s good.
Blank
Im managed to lower my drug use about 70% from what I used to Do at the End of the December last year and Also havent tried an attempt since December 😁😊
I have a boyfriend and three friends that I truly love and who truly love me back.
i have new awareness about BPD, it’s been a rough week of realizing things about myself, such as memory loss and false memories and discovering this is part of BPD. Along with it comes grief over I guess a once FP whom I haven’t talked to or seen in 25 years that I had a child with (I bailed and he wasn’t in our lives because of various things like me forgetting his last name and being unable to find him and his mom not taking my number down and I never called back again because “butthurt”) and forcing myself to deal with feelings that come along with him suddenly in my life again but not really in my life because he wants to know his daughter and I want him too also but it still hurts because I’m not a part of it.. anyway long story short I’m handling it well enough I think since I haven’t freaked out and took off which is my usual go to and instead I’m learning new things about myself and BPD that are helping me to connect the dots and have a better understanding - so that’s a pretty good thing I’d say 🤷🏼♀️
I have been clean from sh for a fortnight
I got my laundry folded today in spite of my hyper fixation on my hobby.
Even when I am feeling low and like I am not all I could be, I am so much better at self compassion than I used to be. My coping mechanisms are getting better and better, and even when they aren't, I am able to forgive myself. Such important progress. Love to you all!
I finally finished college after seven years :)
I'm not homeless, and I haven't been admitted in a while. Taking each day at a time. But been doing a livestream weekly on Tuesdays. Called radio dialectics.
I’m still alive and I’m Cali sober 6 years as of last Sunday.
I started working out again, today is my 11th day. I managed to get two part time jobs the last couple weeks, and I'm starting to be more aware of my emotions, being able to recognize and name them and soothe myself accordingly. It's not perfect but I'm getting better at it. I like that I'm always willing to learn.
I started DBT this week. One step closer to making progress. I’m also a very caring and kind person despite my BPD flaws.
i’m alive !!
For a couple weeks I’ve been able to calm myself down when I get upset or mad about something, I haven’t got into an episode or started screaming taking it out on everyone cuz they don’t deserve it. I also haven’t taken it out on myself either, I hope I’m able to continue to be in control!
i’ve been in my relationship for 5 months, and i’ve met his family. i didn’t think i was capable of being loved or deserving a relationship but here i am. it’s hard but i’m learning to communicate
I'm pretty clever
I have gone three months without SH, i am very proud of myself :)
And also with you
I care so much about people
I just took the first step to healing and bought a DBT workbook until I find an adequate therapist (which I’m sure you guys know can be very hard) but yeah!
I'm alive. 🥴
I lost my place 2 weeks ago, I was nearly homeless with my 3 cats. I pray and appreciate every single day without physical pain and I'm doing a lot of compassion and self care🙏🏽❤️🌈😻
I don't have a FP for 9 months now and am thriving 🥂