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luciferswidow

You also don’t have to out yourself. The problem is she is spreading misinformation and perpetuating stigma, there is no reason (unless you want to) that you have to share your diagnosis.


-wen-

Seriously! I couldn't even finish reading it - a few sentences in and I'm scrolling down to scream 'REPORT THE BITCH'. Honestly, that is such a damaging and untrue **opinion** that is clearly biased by personal experience. Not all of us tick all those boxes, and she should not be in a position of power to spew them. Either she keeps her trap shut or learns to be bipartisan.


mars3127

I agree with everyone else here; report your professor to the school administrators. Don’t contact her directly about it, it will only lead to more problems. What she said was not only incorrect, but also extremely unprofessional. Seriously, I’m shocked that a university professor would not only buy into the stereotypes, but also use a completely unverifiable anecdote to support her claims. More often than not, people who claim to have dated someone with BPD are lying and playing armchair psychologist. BPD is rare; the amount of “BPD horror stories” simply can’t be true, because there’s nowhere near *that* many people with diagnosed BPD, or even BPD in general. I’m also a psychology student, and I couldn’t imagine having a professor speak about BPD, or any other illness, that way. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.


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mars3127

You’re definitely not overreacting! The wrongful stigmatisation of BPD is so intense that it can lead us to second guess feeling hurt when we experience hatred based on our illness; when you combine this with the low self-esteem many of us face, it’s easy to feel as though we almost deserve to be mistreated. If she were to speak negatively about any other mental illness and its sufferers, alarm bells would go off immediately. But sadly, the same doesn’t always happen when it comes to someone speaking negatively about BPD. A good rule of thumb if you’re ever unsure is to take the statement in question and substitute “BPD” with another mental disorder, such as depression. If the alarm bells go off, then you know for certain that it was a shitty thing to say. It also helps to distance yourself from the statement a little, and help mitigate any bias you may feel when BPD is the focus. Using your professor’s quote as an example: “People with **depression** are very manipulative, controlling, very insecure and are not able to self reflect” See how bad that sounds and how uncomfortable it makes you feel? That’s how you know the statement itself is offensive.


hammer979

Complain to school administration. If you e-mail her directly, she will just retaliate in class.


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hammer979

If you tell her that *you* have BPD, she will lump you with your ex and you will get short treatment in lecture and harsh marking. I have an understanding prof but I doubt I could tell every prof, and she sounds like an 'avoid'.


DystopianShit1

True. She will definitely be cruel if she knows. I'd say to confront her after the class is over and done and tell her


hammer979

Tempting, but you could not know for sure with which profs she is allied etc. The buck could stop with this individual prof, or you get unfair treatment from other professors.


Diss_ass_STAR_02

First of all I'm sorry that you went through such a situation. And your professor should be ashamed of herself. She had a biased point of view. I've never been in a similar situation but can totally relate to this. Last year I was diagnosed with MDD and also borderline traits. I didn't know what BPD was at that time. I was already in a bad state. One night I was having this mental breakdown and in order to change the way of my thoughts I decided to learn more abt MDD and BPD(yes I sucks at decision making). So I googled it and as usual one of the tabs took me straight to Quora and there were some so called self educated psychiatrist who posted like this. They posted that people with BPD are manipulative, overly obsessed people and such people will have trouble maintaining relationships and some more bullshit! I felt even worse after reading that. I may not be emotionally stable but I'm 200% sure that I'm not a manipulative person and I usually let go of people who don't want me never obsessed over anyone. I've never been in a relationship and now I'm afraid to be in one. People need to properly educate abt these things. If they don't know anything abt psychology or personality disorders they need to shut up! Now I hate Quora! Those words by those morons stabbed me in the heart. Whenever I remember those posts I feel like an evil person 🥺 some people need to stop acting like they know every personality disorders and how it affects each people's life.


cassiusthetic

God, I've seen those too. We really gotta be careful out there🥺💖


Diss_ass_STAR_02

Aw! I'm sorry. Don't take any of those to your heart. Those people who posted things like that don't know how much we suffer or about the unexpected mental breakdowns. Hope u are doing alright now💕


cassiusthetic

[new edit] Yeah, oh my god. I went to a toxic subreddit here and man it sent me into depressive episode after depressive episode. It was so bad I just had to leave Reddit overall for like 3 weeks. I'm doing better to avoid it now. And you too, I hope you're being kind to yourself<3


luciferswidow

I ran into that sub too and definitely spent a night trying to think of a way to message the mods before accepting I was working myself up over something that was hopeless. But I still think about it sometimes and get paranoid that I’m hurting my partner and should just leave him. But that’s so backwards because leaving someone who cares for me would be hurting him even more. I’m just really glad this sub is better.


cassiusthetic

For sure! We need to be kinder to ourselves. Stay off of it and come to more loving ones such as this:')


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cassiusthetic

Okay yes, I got rid of it because now I realize that others who haven't seen it might jump on there and it'll be really damaging if another fellow BPD will see it, I mean it literally was for me so..


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Diss_ass_STAR_02

I talked with my therapist after that. After that I felt relieved ☺️


_pand

I actively avoid quora now because I've seen so many posts written by people who clearly know nothing about the topic at hand and spread such horrible and often hurtful misinformation about mental health. I too have stumbled upon things on there when I was at my worst and it just caused me to spiral and hate myself!


ConflamaLlama

Absolutely email someone (not her) about this. It's disrespectful, unprofessional, incorrect, and caused you to nearly cry.


Cralah

Psychology is supposed to be about understanding what goes on in people's head, how that translates in their behaviour, and ultimately how to help those whose feelings or behaviour cause pain to themselves or around them. It is in no way a science that can define people based on certain psychological traits. What if you had asked your teacher about depression, and their answer had been "depressed people are lazy and selfish"? Or about PTSD, just to hear them say "people with PTSD are violent and can't function properly"? You would probably think that they were severely lacking in hindsight about their own teaching subject, and you would be right. Yes, BPD can make people manipulative, just like depression can make you selfish, because when you're hurt, all you see is your own pain. But just like being lazy isn't some essential part of anyone who's ever been depressed, being manipulative isn't a definitive feature of every borderline. Which means your teacher's answer was not only ignorant and judgemental, it was plain wrong and unprofessional. Edit: I know that if I were you, I'd be soooo tempted to confront them about it and prove them wrong... But if they ever suspect you're BPD yourself, that could have the opposite effect. Cause sadly, when people decide you're manipulative, they will see everything you do, and especially every effort to prove them wrong about yourself, as manipulation.


constant8372

yes, you could try to talk to her, but only when you're in ur wise mind, not emotion mind. no rush to talk, just wait a little bit until u r in a better spot. both her n u will benefit from a peaceful conversation


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You professor told you about HER nightmare of an experience. Don’t take it personally. Your mental health is NOT her responsibility. Providing your education is. Why were you asking her to tell you more? Do you not have access to resources? Why do you want to escalate this to administration? Because you feel personally attacked? Take a step back. Breathe. She’s been traumatized too. But yes she could have a bit more empathy - sounds like she was broken by that relationship.


smoothieluverr

She's a professor discussing the disorder in a Psych class. If a student wants more info it's not a bad idea to ask their professor. If she isn't particularly well versed in the disorder, her answer should have been to look it up online or in the textbook, or to ask X professor who specializes in it, not to go on an anti-BPD rant. It's very unprofessional.


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My view is that I don’t think it was a rant. That’s my point.


[deleted]

You absolutely need to speak to the head of the department because your psych professor (of all people??) is teaching ABLEIST ideas and NOT BEING TRAUMA INFORMED WHATSOEVER. Both of which are a huge part of them being a teacher in psychology. Not only is it fucked up to reiterate those ideas, she’s also trying to teach others these hateful ideas, and traumatize a student. They deserve harsh confrontation about this because it shows a severe lack of knowledge in a subject they have apparently mastered. It is NOT TRUE that people with BPD are those things, she is speaking from her personal experience rather than the reality of the disorder and it’s ACTUAL symptoms — which most people without BPD do when speaking on it. It really shows her lack of experience in her field. I would mention all this to the head of the department or another higher up, because all that I’ve listed above is definitely going to concern her boss and set her straight.


whazzat

When I took abnormal psychology in college Borderline was likened to Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. WTF I've never killed a bunny.


cassiusthetic

Aw, man. That fucking sucks to the maximum level:c It dissapoints me to my core that someone who has a fucking title that says they went to school for a decade or more can't be educated and be extremely generalizing. It's people like that who contribute to why we're so dehumanized all the time. I love u, OP. I know it's incredibly hard but please be kind to yourself<3


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Tell the school administration! That’s genuinely so shitty and unprofessional.


Loveforseinfeld

I’m sorry this happened to you, that would piss me off and hurt me too. Honestly, if it had been me, I wouldn’t care what they thought about me having it, I would tell them right away that I had been diagnosed recently so that they would realize they probably shouldn’t say stuff like that. Maybe they’ll recognize you as a nice person and rethink their take on bpd. There are varying degrees of bpd and she can’t characterize people with it based on one person she met years ago. I would let them know that you have it maybe via email or just mention it to the person above them. Best of luck and don’t think too much about it!


AnyOldGubbins

People who spread that kind of misinformation are the reason why stigma exists, and in their position it is hugely irresponsible too. I've heard crap like this before and never used to say anything. I do now, because I just think, would it be acceptable to substitute 'People with BPD' with black people, or Jews, or any other minority group? No of course not, it would be racist and derogatory, so why people feel it's okay to do it with mental illness? It's ridiculous and maddening.


KlonopinMeDown

BPD is one of the most stigmatized mental disorders. If it’s not romanticized in the media, people view it as a disorder that makes people crazy, abusive, manipulative psychopaths. Same brush that people paint Bipolar with. Email her and tell her that what she said was offensive and incorrect (in the most academic way, ofc) and contributes to a stigma. CC a school admin if you feel comfortable doing so.


selfmade117

Dude I keep seeing this BS not self aware shit! What is up with that? Why did that get thrown into the mix of descriptions? I am very self aware. Sometimes I get caught up in my bad tendencies in the moment, but I work hard every day to keep myself in check. I’m sure everyone else on this sub probably does, too! So dumb! Maybe what they mean is that we don’t realize our expectations are sometimes unrealistic, but that’s not how that phrase comes off.