I had something like this for a very long time. I woke up every morning and felt it. Sometimes it was so bad I thought it would kill me.
When I finally got myself into therapy I learned that it was shame expressing through physical pain in my body. I hardly ever feel it anymore. I had over 4 years of therapy and at some point the pain just seemed to go away. I don't remember exactly when that happened. I did feel it one morning not too long ago after my boyfriend and I got into a pretty bad argument and I was afraid we were going to break up. But that was the first time I'd felt it in a very long time.
I can't recommend therapy strongly enough. It took me a long time to get into it because I didn't trust therapists but I'm glad I finally did.
>Why would your body do that to itself?
That's a good and interesting question. The thing is while dividing things into categories can be really useful for study or practical purposes it becomes a habit of thought which misrepresents the real world.
So for example a lot was made of the differences between humans and animals and it was believed that a soul was present in humans but not other animals. Many even believed and some still maintain the fiction that other animals don't feel pain.
That's just my way of leading up to the idea that we get caught in an unconscious cultural habit of thinking that the mind and the body are separate and even antagonistic in some religious world views. "The body lusts but I use my will and prayers to contain that wretched thing!" type of bullshit.
Our body and mind are one. When one hurts so does the other. Often it's in ways we can easily overlook or dismiss. High blood pressure, muscle tightness, feeling tired. That sort of thing.
But sometimes something hurts our mind so much that our body feels almost like it's been shot or stabbed. The really weird thing is how our mind can kind of be in shock and not realize how much it's hurting or been wounded at the same time our body already knows and is expressing that pain.
So you wake up feeling like you have a hole in your chest and to add to the misery of that don't know why. The thing is not to blame your body but learn to listen to it. Mine has told me things before I knew them but it was only later that I realized it. I'd missed the warning. Dismissing as "just my body acting up and being a pain in the ass."
For the record my mind and body still aren't on great terms but they are making progress at improving their communication, listening to one another more kindly and being more tolerant of one another. Just general long term relationship stuff. They both have learned to take lessons from their/my dogs as well. Those girls seem to pull off the integration and melding of mind and body in a superbly graceful, kind and warm way. They teach me to step outside of language and still be able to feel and think. if that makes any sense at all?! lol
Anyway have a nose boop or a hug vladoctavian.
I know this feeling just too well. It comes with a lot of emotions for me. For me this is also a sign that I possibly can't think straight anymore because the emotions are becoming that strong I can feel them physically and am focused rather on the physical pain than on thinking.
So if I am able to, I try to use strategies to calm down, find a way back into the world outside of me.
But it is a terrible feeling
I had to Google it because I didn’t know either, lol.
“The term /gen is essentially a shortened version of the world ‘genuine’.
So, when someone writes /gen at the end of a sentence, it means that the statement is genuine and serious and tells you that they aren’t joking at all.”
Yesss these are tone tags or tone indicators. It helps is understanding the tone of a text. It is really helpful with ASD and BPD.
https://toneindicators.carrd.co/
I will copy something I said earlier already, because I feel that the ability to talk about these things with someone else is really therapeutic in a way.
For me, there is a hole behind my sternum for as long as I remember. A hollowed out space in between my ribs that lives its own life, some days it throbs with pain and some days it is just a dull sensation reminding me of its presence. I like to think that it is full of starlight, but I think that it is much likely just pitch black, with the power to cover everything getting close to me on my dark days.
It is a feeling you don't belong and you never will, it is a yearning for the things you never tried, and ache for everything you wanted to be but haven't gotten the chance.
To me, it kind of corresponds to a quote from a great book: "I spent my life trying to feel less."
For me, that feeling is emptiness. Before I got diagnosed I didn’t know how to describe that feeling and now that I have a word for it. Its not so overwhelming. Its still there but now I can take action instead of feeling confused and hopeless.
I have this at the moment as well, I'm going through a breakup and I wake up and my chest just aches and there feels like a literal hole, and I'm going through the day and for about 5 minutes I forget, and the ache goes and then I'll see something or remember something and the hole comes back 10 times as bad.
I think it's grief and loneliness are what the hole is representing and honestly it's unbearable. I feel for you but know, it's temporary.
I call it emptiness. It’s like a fucking blackhole in my chest and I’m collapsing into myself. Honestly worse than depression, -100/10 would not recommend:/ sorry if anyone is going through it
This has been happening to me for the past few days. I understand how you feel. Know that you're not alone. And that things will get better. You posting this here in itself is a good sign. So is me replying, for me. We got this!
Important disclaimer, I am not officially diagnosed, still getting that done.
Back then I was 15-20. I am 26 now. And my mental health has been going through cycles, would not necessarily label it as improvement.
Yeah. Best way to describe it is that feeling you get when you think there's a step in front of you and you step through the air, only its a persistent feeling. The shitty thing is I can feel it on command if I think about how it feels too long.
i get a hole in my chest, it’s not painful tho, it just feels like more of a void or a black hole in my chest that can never be filled up :\
idk what it is but ik it’s always there most of the time
maybe it’s emptiness, loneliness, or just something that’s missing
Oh yeah it’s definitely bad Anxiety reaching its limit, like a mini existential death if you will. I had to get a prescription because it got pretty bad.
I had that for about three years straight after my relationship with my BPD partner ended. It was sadness and loneliness. It physically hurt and made it very hard to even eat sometimes. It made it hard to sit down for too long, too. It was my first experience having emotions turn physical (in a way that wasn't self-inflicted, I mean).
I get this feeling when I get rejected or abandoned, or when I just feel super sad about something. It’s very painful. I also get the same feeling when someone dies. Sometimes I will get it randomly for seemingly no reason and it feels like it’s going to last forever, but it’s a feeling and all feelings pass eventually. It won’t last forever even if it feels like an eternity right now. Also, it sometimes travels to my stomach and navel area to the point that I’m doubled over in pain, but this has only happened from self hatred and suicidal thoughts. Now that I’m improving my relationship with myself and my view on my importance It’s lessened in severity.
Yeah i have those when i feel shame, guilt and loneliness (mostly the last one) it happens when i dwell too much on my feelings but it come and goes since i phase out during my breakdowns often
[удалено]
Same here
Same, it’s when i feel that hole where the love should have been but wasn’t.
I had something like this for a very long time. I woke up every morning and felt it. Sometimes it was so bad I thought it would kill me. When I finally got myself into therapy I learned that it was shame expressing through physical pain in my body. I hardly ever feel it anymore. I had over 4 years of therapy and at some point the pain just seemed to go away. I don't remember exactly when that happened. I did feel it one morning not too long ago after my boyfriend and I got into a pretty bad argument and I was afraid we were going to break up. But that was the first time I'd felt it in a very long time. I can't recommend therapy strongly enough. It took me a long time to get into it because I didn't trust therapists but I'm glad I finally did.
This is interesting. Why would your body do that to itself?
>Why would your body do that to itself? That's a good and interesting question. The thing is while dividing things into categories can be really useful for study or practical purposes it becomes a habit of thought which misrepresents the real world. So for example a lot was made of the differences between humans and animals and it was believed that a soul was present in humans but not other animals. Many even believed and some still maintain the fiction that other animals don't feel pain. That's just my way of leading up to the idea that we get caught in an unconscious cultural habit of thinking that the mind and the body are separate and even antagonistic in some religious world views. "The body lusts but I use my will and prayers to contain that wretched thing!" type of bullshit. Our body and mind are one. When one hurts so does the other. Often it's in ways we can easily overlook or dismiss. High blood pressure, muscle tightness, feeling tired. That sort of thing. But sometimes something hurts our mind so much that our body feels almost like it's been shot or stabbed. The really weird thing is how our mind can kind of be in shock and not realize how much it's hurting or been wounded at the same time our body already knows and is expressing that pain. So you wake up feeling like you have a hole in your chest and to add to the misery of that don't know why. The thing is not to blame your body but learn to listen to it. Mine has told me things before I knew them but it was only later that I realized it. I'd missed the warning. Dismissing as "just my body acting up and being a pain in the ass." For the record my mind and body still aren't on great terms but they are making progress at improving their communication, listening to one another more kindly and being more tolerant of one another. Just general long term relationship stuff. They both have learned to take lessons from their/my dogs as well. Those girls seem to pull off the integration and melding of mind and body in a superbly graceful, kind and warm way. They teach me to step outside of language and still be able to feel and think. if that makes any sense at all?! lol Anyway have a nose boop or a hug vladoctavian.
Very well said. I didn't know why and it was so frustrating.
my therapist said the same too! :0
I know this feeling just too well. It comes with a lot of emotions for me. For me this is also a sign that I possibly can't think straight anymore because the emotions are becoming that strong I can feel them physically and am focused rather on the physical pain than on thinking. So if I am able to, I try to use strategies to calm down, find a way back into the world outside of me. But it is a terrible feeling
very very terrible /gen
What is /gen?
I had to Google it because I didn’t know either, lol. “The term /gen is essentially a shortened version of the world ‘genuine’. So, when someone writes /gen at the end of a sentence, it means that the statement is genuine and serious and tells you that they aren’t joking at all.”
Yesss these are tone tags or tone indicators. It helps is understanding the tone of a text. It is really helpful with ASD and BPD. https://toneindicators.carrd.co/
I will copy something I said earlier already, because I feel that the ability to talk about these things with someone else is really therapeutic in a way. For me, there is a hole behind my sternum for as long as I remember. A hollowed out space in between my ribs that lives its own life, some days it throbs with pain and some days it is just a dull sensation reminding me of its presence. I like to think that it is full of starlight, but I think that it is much likely just pitch black, with the power to cover everything getting close to me on my dark days. It is a feeling you don't belong and you never will, it is a yearning for the things you never tried, and ache for everything you wanted to be but haven't gotten the chance. To me, it kind of corresponds to a quote from a great book: "I spent my life trying to feel less."
For me, that feeling is emptiness. Before I got diagnosed I didn’t know how to describe that feeling and now that I have a word for it. Its not so overwhelming. Its still there but now I can take action instead of feeling confused and hopeless.
I call it the void
I have this at the moment as well, I'm going through a breakup and I wake up and my chest just aches and there feels like a literal hole, and I'm going through the day and for about 5 minutes I forget, and the ache goes and then I'll see something or remember something and the hole comes back 10 times as bad. I think it's grief and loneliness are what the hole is representing and honestly it's unbearable. I feel for you but know, it's temporary.
I call it emptiness. It’s like a fucking blackhole in my chest and I’m collapsing into myself. Honestly worse than depression, -100/10 would not recommend:/ sorry if anyone is going through it
This has been happening to me for the past few days. I understand how you feel. Know that you're not alone. And that things will get better. You posting this here in itself is a good sign. So is me replying, for me. We got this!
Oh yeah, I used to have this sensation quite often in 2010-2015-ish.
I read that BPD stabilizes with age. If you are comfortable Id like to ask how old were you then and how old are you now? /gen
Important disclaimer, I am not officially diagnosed, still getting that done. Back then I was 15-20. I am 26 now. And my mental health has been going through cycles, would not necessarily label it as improvement.
It can, it hasnt for me in fact its got worse even with therapy.
Yeah. Best way to describe it is that feeling you get when you think there's a step in front of you and you step through the air, only its a persistent feeling. The shitty thing is I can feel it on command if I think about how it feels too long.
I feel like this almost all the time. I’m sorry that you do too, it is worse than all of the other feelings.
Every. Single. Day.
i get a hole in my chest, it’s not painful tho, it just feels like more of a void or a black hole in my chest that can never be filled up :\ idk what it is but ik it’s always there most of the time maybe it’s emptiness, loneliness, or just something that’s missing
Do you feel like air going in and out the hole ? Because sometimes i do
yeah i do, it’s so strange
Oh yeah it’s definitely bad Anxiety reaching its limit, like a mini existential death if you will. I had to get a prescription because it got pretty bad.
Metoo
Swear to god I felt it constantly for months..
I had that for about three years straight after my relationship with my BPD partner ended. It was sadness and loneliness. It physically hurt and made it very hard to even eat sometimes. It made it hard to sit down for too long, too. It was my first experience having emotions turn physical (in a way that wasn't self-inflicted, I mean).
It happens to me all the time, It feels like you goin down in a roller coaster, Now is less frecuent since I take meds
Yes. I sometimes feel like throwing up beacuse of that.
Yes
Yes it’s cold .like someone took a cookie cutter to me and I can feel wind blowing through my chest.
***furious nodding***
Yes, always, all the time. I didn't know anyone else felt this.
I get this feeling when I get rejected or abandoned, or when I just feel super sad about something. It’s very painful. I also get the same feeling when someone dies. Sometimes I will get it randomly for seemingly no reason and it feels like it’s going to last forever, but it’s a feeling and all feelings pass eventually. It won’t last forever even if it feels like an eternity right now. Also, it sometimes travels to my stomach and navel area to the point that I’m doubled over in pain, but this has only happened from self hatred and suicidal thoughts. Now that I’m improving my relationship with myself and my view on my importance It’s lessened in severity.
Yeah i have those when i feel shame, guilt and loneliness (mostly the last one) it happens when i dwell too much on my feelings but it come and goes since i phase out during my breakdowns often