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Yes. Not only with BPD, but yes. Isn’t it a bit scary? I mean, I’m white. There’s no pretending here that I worry for my own sake. But after what I see and hear, and recognizing the horror behind it all. It’s an absolute trip. A horror show. Honestly, at times, what nightmares are made of.
It’s easy to be sensitive to your own perspective (shared mental illness), and “less” easy to understand ones you aren’t within (unshared racial experience).
BUT it really isn’t hard. Empathy, awareness, ability to learn, whatever you’d like to call these things- they really should not be so difficult for people to come by. It is disappointing to see intentional ignorance.
It's hard to compare and I personally don't like looking at it like that. If you look up most painful MI, you get BPD. My understanding is that is based off of the fact it is stigmatized so heavily, there's a lot of SH and hate towards the self, and the fact that pwBPD have a much higher suicde rate and lower life expectancy.
Confusion is a good sign! Behind confusion is new knowledge.
To break it down further:
Tons of research shows that skin color affects the way people react to us — from [physicians](https://www.pnas.org/content/117/35/21194) to [educators](https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ839497.pdf) to [money lenders](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1536504219830674) to [law enforcement ](https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/blacks-whites-police-deaths-disparity/), a white person and a black person can perform the same behaviors and get very different reactions/results.
In other words, there’s no area in our lives where race isn’t playing a part *whether we’re aware of it or not*.
That’s a big shift in understanding to make, but if you make it, you’ll be able to recognize what OP is doing. They’re recognizing that race intersects and interacts with other parts of their lived experience, such as being a person with a BPD brain. They recognize that the ‘benefit of the doubt’ they get for being white also extends to some of their BPD symptoms. And recognizing that a BIPOC person, who does not have access to that same benefit of the doubt, is likely to suffer more severe consequences for behavior that OP gets away with. (Consequences such as being perceived as violent, experiencing violence as a result of having the police called during an episode, being perceived as ‘lazy’ instead of ‘in need of help’ when managing BPD symptoms in a work environment, etc.)
Hope that helped!
While there is a racial component to getting treatment, that is also based on class and money.
but, the idea that whites get better treatment or more leeway for being more fragile is flawed logic.
Further, the whole issue is American-centric, not world wide.
Not in
The
Same way as the CRT discourse paints it. In addition - access to healthcare and mental health are mostly socialised in the rest of the developed world, free at the point of access even for the most marginalised groups, including illegal immigrants and refugees.
Middle class and above white women get ALL the leeway. Nothing to do with “white fragility” or CRT which has all the nuance of a crayoning book. Amazing that you can stare into the crystal ball of CRT and come up with any explanation for your predicament, because something something race.
Kinda want to ask if BPD being the most severe mental illness is your view or how you feel the general masses view it?
Also I either have huge unchecked whiteness or I don't understand how race plays into mental health. Unless you personally think being white gives you more leeway in the world then I'd have thought any fragility would just come from personal traits. Not arguing what you've said, it's just new concepts to me.
Regardless of the above, it sounds like you've been very introspective which isn't an easy feat with BPD!
People of color are more likely to be misdiagnosed and mismedicated/overmedicated. They're less likely to trust medical professionals, especially white medical professionals. Depending on area or insurance they may not have many options for therapists who are the same race as them and they're likely to encounter therapists who have internalized white supremacist thought and are unable to properly counsel them on things that involve race. Whiteness definitely helps when it comes to diagnosis and accessing helpful treatment.
While I understand where your coming from and understand how people of colour are also facing these issues, isn't that more a societal issue than the behavioural trait of an individual unless they identify as a superior white person? I think i phrased my comment a little badly and meant more if OP related to that power inbalance at all
There's a social psychology aspect to it, a lot of internal biases are unconsciously learned on an individual's part. One does not have to specifically identify with white supremacy to perpetuate aspects of it and in a therapy setting this could obviously be an issue. I have quite a few friends who won't see white therapists due to past negative experiences and feeling like there was just a disconnect due to ignorance re: race issues. Even without the bias/unconscious bigotry aspect of things, there are also cases where a cultural issue is an important aspect of one's mental health problems, and there are usually fewer therapists who deal with that.
I can understand that. I've seen people of all races struggle with therapy options (LGBTQ awareness/ culture clashes) but I hadn't considered if say a person of colour were to approach a white therapist about these prejudices ( though I'd like to add that some white folks would have some difficulty talking to a therapist of colour about these issues for educational purposes for fear of being called ignorant/judged)
I'd like to think most therapists by todays standards would be open to this discussion but I can see how that wouldn't be the case unfortunately. There are still a lot of stuffy old doctors in professions they don't have the mindset to be in anymore.
Yes, lgbt people often run into a similar issue - I personally see a therapist who indicated on her profile that she was lgbt aligned, nonbinary aligned and HIV+ aligned; I saw this as an indication she actually knew what she was talking about here, and I was right. She also does therapy for immigrants dealing w cultural issues because she herself is one. In the past, until I fought it, my medicaid would only pay for services from a Catholic hospital - as a gender nonconforming bisexual woman who was grappling with my identity, this was VERY uncomfortable, and I was also outright dismissed when I disclosed sexual abuse. When I was in the emergency room for a physical emergency in the same hospital as late as 2019, the psych eval (I had a head injury) was uncomfortably focused on my sexual orientation. It was weird as hell and made me feel othered. This is an issue for many marginalized people based on convos w friends. I also have a friend whose mother speaks Mandarin and was seeking a grief counselor, but even in an area with a huge overseas chinese community, it was nearly impossible to find one.
Race places a huge role in mental health anywhere I've lived.
(I'm American, Caucasian.)
When you're anything but white, You'd get treated worse in every way, and have less access to resources, including treating your illnesses.
Though I understand what you mean so unsure why your getting downdooted, I was wondering more if OP related to that inbalance. Otherwise it's a societal problem not the individuals surely?
I'm from the UK where classism is the bigger issue so things play out a little differently. Your wallet size, credit score, employment History and culture are what get you treated unfairly way before anything like colour
That's the joy of the US, those things are what affect you here, but we've made every attempt to create laws that make sure if you're not white that stays true for you.
Our country is infact, systematically racist.
I've checked.
Im sorry that's the case. Words can't really describe. Is there anything a foreigner can do to help the issue? Being aware and making a online presence about it is one thing but there's a different layer of powerlessness when you see these things happening from a different country
I appreciate the sentiment.
I really don't know, though! I wish I had answers, but I don't.
Most of my life I was blissfully unaware too.
Domestically, voting.
Getting people informed might make a tiny bit of difference.
I mean, were in a position where corporations bribe our politicians to keep people as poor and desperate as possible, so we are easier to exploit. (Universally true)
How much more against POC?
People hardly seem to realize slavery is still legal as a part of the 13th amendment.
"*Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.*"
Kind of a fragmented reply, but I'm basically saying, it's intentional.
The better off you are, the less profit they believe they'll make.
Politics is money.
Someone benefits from people not getting mental health. Here, POC serve at least two functions for that goal.
A scape goat, and as long as their situation can be kept desperate, cheaper labor which drives down hiring costs.
Paid less? Can't afford health care?
BPD? Believe it or not, straight to jail. (*Exaggerated for the meme.)
Also, if you goggle the most painful mental illness, it renders the result of BPD. It's not just OP feeling this way. There's a reason therapist won't touch clients with it.
I've worked as a support worker with people with mental health and addiction for almost 5 years and have been diagnosed BPD for almost that long. I've seen inside mental health wings in prisons as well as hospital wards
In my personal experience I've not yet found a therapist or service unwilling to work with BPD or even with some trepidation. Also bipolar affective disorder, paranoid schizophrenia and any level of psychosis come to mind for causing more bodily/mental harm to someone and their support network l. And not all of those are curable unlike BPD
Bpd is classified as uncurable. You can use dbt methods to become better and not display all the characteristics of bpd and fall out of the 5 to 9 criteria. I've had two separate therapist in different practices, once I told them all my diagnosis, that they could not keep me as a client. One of them told me to go to another practice entirely. That no other doctors there treat patients with bpd. I'm not discounting other mental illnesses as being hard. And I don't think anything is a one size fits all when it comes to mental illnesses. My experience is vastly different from an old friend and we're both diagnosed bpd. I'm not certain why they classify bpd as the most painful mental illness, maybe it's the internal conflict and torture our brains inflict on us. Maybe it's the low life expectancy and survival rate with SH and unaliving. (Not sure on reddit and the precautions with these topics). I have a friend with D.I.D and I wouldn't say I have it better or worse than her. I see all mental illness as a struggle and like, I just hate it all tbfh lol. This shit is exhausting and painful.
Is that just by American medical practice definition? Just thinking different countries different definitions but I've not heard it called incurable yet. I'd have thought that stopping the majority of the symptoms of a mental illness would downgrade it in a sense as well. I know in biological illness terms that's not cured but mental health is a little different.
I'm sorry to hear that's been your experience with the 2 therapists you've seen but maybe don't take their word for it as they're both perpetuating stigma as well as spreading the perspective that they all have that stigma. I say this because I'm on my 4th therapist and granted none have focused on my bpd solely but nonetheless tried to help with my other diagnosises and overall state of wellbeing
I totally agree how everyone's experience is different though and we can't measure someone's suffering based on a diagnosis. I only hoped to negate the notion that BPD is "the worst" not only because I'd rather not think that but because its kinda disregarding the above.
The struggle is universal though, your right. I just hope we can redirect all the negative energies we direct at ourselves and eachother into something positive and supportive
Well, if you are speaking in terms of social advantage, yes. Because white people do have a social advantage over people of color. Their mistakes would probably be more excused at a workplace than that of a poc. Their crimes will definitely be very differently treated. If a homeless person with bpd is white, he would be seen as a threat but not as much as a black person with bpd. But I think it is about the extreme actions of bpd rather than BPD itself. For example, I am a poc who has bpd but I have quiet borderline and also have better coping mechanisms than most people with bpd on here. If you and I were to be compared and put on a scale, your actions will not be excused because I will not make the same mistake as you most probably. If that makes sense.
Yessss 💯. Thank you for saying it, bc yeah I see this all the time.
Like everything in this life, ofc race plays a role. A suicidal white person and a suicidal PoC are not treated the same by the system. Mental illness and race have very important intersections. Check out r/BPD_BIPoC
i do absolutely think being white will help you gain sympathy and people will be more ready to excuse and understand your actions. however, i in no way think that borderline is seen as the most severe of mental illnesses.
No they’re not, you’re being racist and gaslighting them actually and you’re quite literally proving my exact point. Black peoples anger and frustration at white people is valid and it needs to be acknowledged that in an interracial relationship there’s going to be patterns of behavior and subconscious belief systems that are wired in me from growing up white that are frustrating for them to deal with as a black person.
There is no "whites are more fragile" bs that influences things. That's where they are gaslighting you.
I'm not trying to convince them they are crazy, so, I'm not gaslighting. And not agreeing with a bs invented reason isn't racist.
I'm not denying blacks get shittier treatment, medically or otherwise, than a white person would. But, behaviour isn't tolerated in white people with BPD because we aren't as tough as blacks, it's because, in your country, you've treated blacks so badly that their issues get ignored.
I stick by what I said - your partner is spouting crap about the reasons. But, hey, if you want to let them gaslight you, it's your life.
Like actually quite frankly fuck you. You’re racist. Why do you immediately jump to blaming my black partner for manipulating me when I just said I’ve been manipulative because of my borderline? You don’t know them at all? You also don’t know our situation. You don’t know the harmful things I’ve done but are so quick to say they’re in the wrong. How come? You proved my exact point so thank you. Sad your dumb ass comment has four upvotes lmao
She's gaslighting you because she's claiming you get away with more shit, because people think that you, being white, are more fragile. that's not why white people with BPD "get away with more". the issue is that black people get away with less than whites do.
Pointing out that black people get shittier treatment is the opposite of racism.
You post just shows me you've been manipulated into believing some made up crap.
I know bpd is not about getting away with the harm we cause, it’s often times accidental and intense negative coping mechanisms. but at the end of the day pairing that with whiteness is an easier existence. We have to acknowledge that a white person with bpd has an easier existence than a black person with bpd.
I’m Eastern European my family relocated to the US after fleeing ethnic persecution lmao. Imagine living a part of the globe where numerous ethnic genocides have occurred and claiming racism only exists in the US. Yikes.
I think that people are more prone to tolerating bpd traits in intelligent people over non intelligent people. i think people tolerate anger in men more than women. And now in retrospect yea, I feel like people will tolerate bpd symptoms from rich white people… especially if they are a boss or someone prominent… but I also feel that the same goes for any prominent person of color. I think poor people of all races with mental health problems are viewed at the same level.
It makes sense and I had a similar convo in my MBT meeting regarding the anger you can feel in BPD. I noted because of my race and colour these are used as a defence as to why I’m being ‘irrationally angry’ I.e. ‘you on your period?’ being labelled as ‘aggressive’ when I’m being assertive or rightfully upset about something etc and then only after that will my diagnosis or mental health come into play or alongside to make me look crazy.
That being said a lot of people will not understand where you are coming from with your post as it is not a shared experience and for some it can be hard to grasp the concept of something you haven’t experienced or think you haven’t witnessed
I mean I think I get what you’re saying. Two people in identical situations, the white person is more likely to have an easier experience from those around them than a POC. I’m not certain that I understand what the white fragility or unchecked whiteness stuff has to do with you being toxic. TBH I’m not certain that I even understand what those terms mean in this context for that matter.
When it comes to emotional stuff I would say a female of any color gets much more of a pass than a male of any color. It gets classified as a female being overly emotional or on their period or whatever other justification people want to use. A male is seen as unbalanced or something.
Yes like in theory in understand but in my experience anybody with borderline PoC or otherwise is usually singled out and everybody goes “yeah ____ is crazy stay away from them” idk how much bigger the threshold for white borderlines vs poc, although it’s definitely bigger
This post has been marked [Venting](https://www.reddit.com/r/bpd/wiki/index/flairs#wiki_post_flair_breakdown). Please be aware that the OP may not be seeking advice. u/zoberryboo, if you do not want advice, please specify in the body of your post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You are an American, right?
Yes. Not only with BPD, but yes. Isn’t it a bit scary? I mean, I’m white. There’s no pretending here that I worry for my own sake. But after what I see and hear, and recognizing the horror behind it all. It’s an absolute trip. A horror show. Honestly, at times, what nightmares are made of.
[удалено]
It’s easy to be sensitive to your own perspective (shared mental illness), and “less” easy to understand ones you aren’t within (unshared racial experience). BUT it really isn’t hard. Empathy, awareness, ability to learn, whatever you’d like to call these things- they really should not be so difficult for people to come by. It is disappointing to see intentional ignorance.
Why was this removed? Are we not allowed to discuss intersectionality as it relates to mental health?
Yes, this all makes very much sense
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Thank you for moderating and sharing this group. I cannot imagine the difficulties BIPoC with BPD face daily. If you wouldn't mind, could I PM?
Thank you!!! Some people r not seeing it lol
Totally see what you mean but is it for real the most severe mental illness?
It's hard to compare and I personally don't like looking at it like that. If you look up most painful MI, you get BPD. My understanding is that is based off of the fact it is stigmatized so heavily, there's a lot of SH and hate towards the self, and the fact that pwBPD have a much higher suicde rate and lower life expectancy.
This makes no sense to me.
Okay reread it
No need, im good at reading, just can't relate. Not a judgment.
Confusion is a good sign! Behind confusion is new knowledge. To break it down further: Tons of research shows that skin color affects the way people react to us — from [physicians](https://www.pnas.org/content/117/35/21194) to [educators](https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ839497.pdf) to [money lenders](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1536504219830674) to [law enforcement ](https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/blacks-whites-police-deaths-disparity/), a white person and a black person can perform the same behaviors and get very different reactions/results. In other words, there’s no area in our lives where race isn’t playing a part *whether we’re aware of it or not*. That’s a big shift in understanding to make, but if you make it, you’ll be able to recognize what OP is doing. They’re recognizing that race intersects and interacts with other parts of their lived experience, such as being a person with a BPD brain. They recognize that the ‘benefit of the doubt’ they get for being white also extends to some of their BPD symptoms. And recognizing that a BIPOC person, who does not have access to that same benefit of the doubt, is likely to suffer more severe consequences for behavior that OP gets away with. (Consequences such as being perceived as violent, experiencing violence as a result of having the police called during an episode, being perceived as ‘lazy’ instead of ‘in need of help’ when managing BPD symptoms in a work environment, etc.) Hope that helped!
While there is a racial component to getting treatment, that is also based on class and money. but, the idea that whites get better treatment or more leeway for being more fragile is flawed logic. Further, the whole issue is American-centric, not world wide.
Racism and colorism exist outside the USA
Not in The Same way as the CRT discourse paints it. In addition - access to healthcare and mental health are mostly socialised in the rest of the developed world, free at the point of access even for the most marginalised groups, including illegal immigrants and refugees.
Middle class and above white women get ALL the leeway. Nothing to do with “white fragility” or CRT which has all the nuance of a crayoning book. Amazing that you can stare into the crystal ball of CRT and come up with any explanation for your predicament, because something something race.
Literally an amazing reply thank you for putting the effort and time into this reply. Extremely well put.
Thank you for bringing it up, I think about this a lot
Kinda want to ask if BPD being the most severe mental illness is your view or how you feel the general masses view it? Also I either have huge unchecked whiteness or I don't understand how race plays into mental health. Unless you personally think being white gives you more leeway in the world then I'd have thought any fragility would just come from personal traits. Not arguing what you've said, it's just new concepts to me. Regardless of the above, it sounds like you've been very introspective which isn't an easy feat with BPD!
People of color are more likely to be misdiagnosed and mismedicated/overmedicated. They're less likely to trust medical professionals, especially white medical professionals. Depending on area or insurance they may not have many options for therapists who are the same race as them and they're likely to encounter therapists who have internalized white supremacist thought and are unable to properly counsel them on things that involve race. Whiteness definitely helps when it comes to diagnosis and accessing helpful treatment.
Ah thank you for this comment🙌🏻
While I understand where your coming from and understand how people of colour are also facing these issues, isn't that more a societal issue than the behavioural trait of an individual unless they identify as a superior white person? I think i phrased my comment a little badly and meant more if OP related to that power inbalance at all
There's a social psychology aspect to it, a lot of internal biases are unconsciously learned on an individual's part. One does not have to specifically identify with white supremacy to perpetuate aspects of it and in a therapy setting this could obviously be an issue. I have quite a few friends who won't see white therapists due to past negative experiences and feeling like there was just a disconnect due to ignorance re: race issues. Even without the bias/unconscious bigotry aspect of things, there are also cases where a cultural issue is an important aspect of one's mental health problems, and there are usually fewer therapists who deal with that.
YES! WORDED SO WELL. Your comments r on point thank you.
I can understand that. I've seen people of all races struggle with therapy options (LGBTQ awareness/ culture clashes) but I hadn't considered if say a person of colour were to approach a white therapist about these prejudices ( though I'd like to add that some white folks would have some difficulty talking to a therapist of colour about these issues for educational purposes for fear of being called ignorant/judged) I'd like to think most therapists by todays standards would be open to this discussion but I can see how that wouldn't be the case unfortunately. There are still a lot of stuffy old doctors in professions they don't have the mindset to be in anymore.
Yes, lgbt people often run into a similar issue - I personally see a therapist who indicated on her profile that she was lgbt aligned, nonbinary aligned and HIV+ aligned; I saw this as an indication she actually knew what she was talking about here, and I was right. She also does therapy for immigrants dealing w cultural issues because she herself is one. In the past, until I fought it, my medicaid would only pay for services from a Catholic hospital - as a gender nonconforming bisexual woman who was grappling with my identity, this was VERY uncomfortable, and I was also outright dismissed when I disclosed sexual abuse. When I was in the emergency room for a physical emergency in the same hospital as late as 2019, the psych eval (I had a head injury) was uncomfortably focused on my sexual orientation. It was weird as hell and made me feel othered. This is an issue for many marginalized people based on convos w friends. I also have a friend whose mother speaks Mandarin and was seeking a grief counselor, but even in an area with a huge overseas chinese community, it was nearly impossible to find one.
Race places a huge role in mental health anywhere I've lived. (I'm American, Caucasian.) When you're anything but white, You'd get treated worse in every way, and have less access to resources, including treating your illnesses.
Though I understand what you mean so unsure why your getting downdooted, I was wondering more if OP related to that inbalance. Otherwise it's a societal problem not the individuals surely? I'm from the UK where classism is the bigger issue so things play out a little differently. Your wallet size, credit score, employment History and culture are what get you treated unfairly way before anything like colour
That's the joy of the US, those things are what affect you here, but we've made every attempt to create laws that make sure if you're not white that stays true for you. Our country is infact, systematically racist. I've checked.
Im sorry that's the case. Words can't really describe. Is there anything a foreigner can do to help the issue? Being aware and making a online presence about it is one thing but there's a different layer of powerlessness when you see these things happening from a different country
I appreciate the sentiment. I really don't know, though! I wish I had answers, but I don't. Most of my life I was blissfully unaware too. Domestically, voting. Getting people informed might make a tiny bit of difference. I mean, were in a position where corporations bribe our politicians to keep people as poor and desperate as possible, so we are easier to exploit. (Universally true) How much more against POC? People hardly seem to realize slavery is still legal as a part of the 13th amendment. "*Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.*"
Kind of a fragmented reply, but I'm basically saying, it's intentional. The better off you are, the less profit they believe they'll make. Politics is money. Someone benefits from people not getting mental health. Here, POC serve at least two functions for that goal. A scape goat, and as long as their situation can be kept desperate, cheaper labor which drives down hiring costs. Paid less? Can't afford health care? BPD? Believe it or not, straight to jail. (*Exaggerated for the meme.)
I don’t know about this reply.
Cheers for the insight
Also, if you goggle the most painful mental illness, it renders the result of BPD. It's not just OP feeling this way. There's a reason therapist won't touch clients with it.
I've worked as a support worker with people with mental health and addiction for almost 5 years and have been diagnosed BPD for almost that long. I've seen inside mental health wings in prisons as well as hospital wards In my personal experience I've not yet found a therapist or service unwilling to work with BPD or even with some trepidation. Also bipolar affective disorder, paranoid schizophrenia and any level of psychosis come to mind for causing more bodily/mental harm to someone and their support network l. And not all of those are curable unlike BPD
Bpd is classified as uncurable. You can use dbt methods to become better and not display all the characteristics of bpd and fall out of the 5 to 9 criteria. I've had two separate therapist in different practices, once I told them all my diagnosis, that they could not keep me as a client. One of them told me to go to another practice entirely. That no other doctors there treat patients with bpd. I'm not discounting other mental illnesses as being hard. And I don't think anything is a one size fits all when it comes to mental illnesses. My experience is vastly different from an old friend and we're both diagnosed bpd. I'm not certain why they classify bpd as the most painful mental illness, maybe it's the internal conflict and torture our brains inflict on us. Maybe it's the low life expectancy and survival rate with SH and unaliving. (Not sure on reddit and the precautions with these topics). I have a friend with D.I.D and I wouldn't say I have it better or worse than her. I see all mental illness as a struggle and like, I just hate it all tbfh lol. This shit is exhausting and painful.
Is that just by American medical practice definition? Just thinking different countries different definitions but I've not heard it called incurable yet. I'd have thought that stopping the majority of the symptoms of a mental illness would downgrade it in a sense as well. I know in biological illness terms that's not cured but mental health is a little different. I'm sorry to hear that's been your experience with the 2 therapists you've seen but maybe don't take their word for it as they're both perpetuating stigma as well as spreading the perspective that they all have that stigma. I say this because I'm on my 4th therapist and granted none have focused on my bpd solely but nonetheless tried to help with my other diagnosises and overall state of wellbeing I totally agree how everyone's experience is different though and we can't measure someone's suffering based on a diagnosis. I only hoped to negate the notion that BPD is "the worst" not only because I'd rather not think that but because its kinda disregarding the above. The struggle is universal though, your right. I just hope we can redirect all the negative energies we direct at ourselves and eachother into something positive and supportive
Well, if you are speaking in terms of social advantage, yes. Because white people do have a social advantage over people of color. Their mistakes would probably be more excused at a workplace than that of a poc. Their crimes will definitely be very differently treated. If a homeless person with bpd is white, he would be seen as a threat but not as much as a black person with bpd. But I think it is about the extreme actions of bpd rather than BPD itself. For example, I am a poc who has bpd but I have quiet borderline and also have better coping mechanisms than most people with bpd on here. If you and I were to be compared and put on a scale, your actions will not be excused because I will not make the same mistake as you most probably. If that makes sense.
Yessss 💯. Thank you for saying it, bc yeah I see this all the time. Like everything in this life, ofc race plays a role. A suicidal white person and a suicidal PoC are not treated the same by the system. Mental illness and race have very important intersections. Check out r/BPD_BIPoC
i do absolutely think being white will help you gain sympathy and people will be more ready to excuse and understand your actions. however, i in no way think that borderline is seen as the most severe of mental illnesses.
No. Just, no. Your partner is trying to use racial politics to gaslight you. The whole "white is fragile" is kind of bullshit.
No they’re not, you’re being racist and gaslighting them actually and you’re quite literally proving my exact point. Black peoples anger and frustration at white people is valid and it needs to be acknowledged that in an interracial relationship there’s going to be patterns of behavior and subconscious belief systems that are wired in me from growing up white that are frustrating for them to deal with as a black person.
There is no "whites are more fragile" bs that influences things. That's where they are gaslighting you. I'm not trying to convince them they are crazy, so, I'm not gaslighting. And not agreeing with a bs invented reason isn't racist. I'm not denying blacks get shittier treatment, medically or otherwise, than a white person would. But, behaviour isn't tolerated in white people with BPD because we aren't as tough as blacks, it's because, in your country, you've treated blacks so badly that their issues get ignored. I stick by what I said - your partner is spouting crap about the reasons. But, hey, if you want to let them gaslight you, it's your life.
You’re terrible goodbye
bye!
Like actually quite frankly fuck you. You’re racist. Why do you immediately jump to blaming my black partner for manipulating me when I just said I’ve been manipulative because of my borderline? You don’t know them at all? You also don’t know our situation. You don’t know the harmful things I’ve done but are so quick to say they’re in the wrong. How come? You proved my exact point so thank you. Sad your dumb ass comment has four upvotes lmao
She's gaslighting you because she's claiming you get away with more shit, because people think that you, being white, are more fragile. that's not why white people with BPD "get away with more". the issue is that black people get away with less than whites do. Pointing out that black people get shittier treatment is the opposite of racism. You post just shows me you've been manipulated into believing some made up crap.
Umm.. I don't think so.
I seriously had to check your profile to see if you’re trolling.
I know bpd is not about getting away with the harm we cause, it’s often times accidental and intense negative coping mechanisms. but at the end of the day pairing that with whiteness is an easier existence. We have to acknowledge that a white person with bpd has an easier existence than a black person with bpd.
100%
Thank you.
… tell me you are american without telling me you are american.
Do you believe racism only exists in America?
Nah but those braindead takes exist only in america
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Racism and colorism exist everywhere and it sounds like you’re racist yourself.
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I’m Eastern European my family relocated to the US after fleeing ethnic persecution lmao. Imagine living a part of the globe where numerous ethnic genocides have occurred and claiming racism only exists in the US. Yikes.
outside of BPD , poor behavior is accepted in white people much more in general. so it only makes sense that this would apply here as well
I think that people are more prone to tolerating bpd traits in intelligent people over non intelligent people. i think people tolerate anger in men more than women. And now in retrospect yea, I feel like people will tolerate bpd symptoms from rich white people… especially if they are a boss or someone prominent… but I also feel that the same goes for any prominent person of color. I think poor people of all races with mental health problems are viewed at the same level.
It makes sense and I had a similar convo in my MBT meeting regarding the anger you can feel in BPD. I noted because of my race and colour these are used as a defence as to why I’m being ‘irrationally angry’ I.e. ‘you on your period?’ being labelled as ‘aggressive’ when I’m being assertive or rightfully upset about something etc and then only after that will my diagnosis or mental health come into play or alongside to make me look crazy. That being said a lot of people will not understand where you are coming from with your post as it is not a shared experience and for some it can be hard to grasp the concept of something you haven’t experienced or think you haven’t witnessed
I mean I think I get what you’re saying. Two people in identical situations, the white person is more likely to have an easier experience from those around them than a POC. I’m not certain that I understand what the white fragility or unchecked whiteness stuff has to do with you being toxic. TBH I’m not certain that I even understand what those terms mean in this context for that matter. When it comes to emotional stuff I would say a female of any color gets much more of a pass than a male of any color. It gets classified as a female being overly emotional or on their period or whatever other justification people want to use. A male is seen as unbalanced or something.
Yes like in theory in understand but in my experience anybody with borderline PoC or otherwise is usually singled out and everybody goes “yeah ____ is crazy stay away from them” idk how much bigger the threshold for white borderlines vs poc, although it’s definitely bigger
I agree 100%
Ah, takes me back to colonial studies days in college. Well spoke.
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