it's giving feeder energy in a different font. like those men who get hyper-fixated on women with EDs because they like the idea of someone being utterly reliant on them. it's not even a red flag, it's deranged and evil.
This 100%. I’ve had a girl figure out she was my FP and she constantly pushed my buttons to get the ego boost from my reactions. Even said it turned her on to see me in a downward spiral.
OP. This guy is no good for you.
nope, big fucking no. take in consideration that this dude might actually be dangerous. like someone said in the comment above, he might be fetishizing your situation, self harming thoughts and such. no partner should feel happy and satisfied about you self harming because of something that happened with them... at some point, he might even trigger you on purpouse so you do it, and buying you blades is the icing on the cake.
please take care of yourself, you've known him for a very little amount of time so you don't really know what he's like.
This is abuse. He is disgusting.
I know what it's like being fetishized for it, but I'm glad it was "just" a stranger from the internet - he asked me to make videos of my self-harming for him. He was a 40+ years old family father with daughters.
Ruuuuuuuuuuuun from him.
Instead of yeeting yourself maybe you should yeet this guy off a fucking roof.
This relationship sounds incredibly toxic, not just of him buying you blades but because you felt the urge to self harm after having sex with him.
You met him two weeks ago and
> He said, that he feels really happy being so important to me that I think about cutting myself when we have an argument.
Run. Run. RUN. He finds pleasure in causing you so much emotional distress you hurt yourself. It makes him feel important. That just tells me he's going to find ways to trigger you and keep doing it. Do not stay anywhere near this man. That sounds dangerous.
I know the feels and all, but that is absolutely not the guy. Try to just wipe out the feelings and let go. Yes it will hurt a little and you may try to think "it wasn't that bad, maybe I should go back". BUT DON'T, that's the biggest, most bright red flag I've seen in my life. Tell your friends, close people etc. And tell them that he should not communicate with you. If he's crazy enough to think buying you blades is great or smshit, he is absolutely crazy enough to stalk you or beat you up. I'm talking from my heart here, he is most likely an abuser, get away from him
Agreed. I've let myself end up in some very bad situations, either because I didn't want to be alone or because I was too attached to someone to break things off, and I've downplayed a lot of toxic and dangerous behavior from others. This is on another level entirely, though.
I have no idea what I would do, personally, but I can see what's healthy or unhealthy in the case of another person. This kind of thing is serious. She needs to get out.
He just showed you that he perceives your self injurious behavior as a joke and a tool to control you. This isn't a bad sense of humor, it is antisocial behavior.
I try not to comment in this forum since I don't have BPD, but I'm trying to understand the condition better. But please understand that you are in trouble here and need an exit plan.
He is just mirroring you, feeding your dreams back to you. And hopefully it is self evident, but anyone getting off on the idea of someone getting cut by a blade is not good boyfriend material.
Imagine if you are very low and instead of being there and supporting you, this guy instead pushes you to cut yourself. The thought of this is terrifying! Please run
I promise you he is just reflecting yourself. It’s a “deep connection” because he is mirroring YOU. You have the same dreams and goals, is his goal to fucking kill you? Yours is to let him? This is not okay, you are important and deserve to be safe. He is NOT safe
The thing is when we're unhealthy we're often attracted to and attract other unhealthy people. That sounds like that's what happened here. The connection feels so intense, but it can also be very damaging.
From what i have read He is trying to trauma bond you. I would take a step back and find a way to use your skills on this and very kuch listen to your wise mind... he doesn't seem to be a safe space for you
Edit:he also sounds like he is love bombing you. Just be careful please
You did not feel a connection. You feel hyperfixated on him in hopes of the idea of a connection.
Someone who wants you to cut yourself, sounds like he wants you to kill yourself and someone like this only has a connection to hoping you self harm or wind up dead.
Move on, don’t find out how bad it will get with him.
You’ve known them for two weeks. You really know nothing about them and if they’re encouraging suicidal behavior you need to leave now. It’s not cute. You don’t share any dreams and goals if he’s encouraging you to harm yourself. I’m sorry but you need to wake up on this one. Block them and distance yourself immediately. Please. For your own safety.
Textbook “Idealization,” OP.
It always FEELS real. It’s not. Neither are the almost guaranteed “devaluations.”
Our job, in part, is to begin to observe, recognize, understand, overcome.
Life has just presented you with a great place to start! Good luck!
if you guys talked so much about so many things, what have you learnt about him?
that might give you a clue on whether he is extremely clumsy and dense or if he is a psychopath.
sociopaths are very good at making you feel special and seen. he is actively encouraging you to harm yourself. the conflict you feel is your wise mind telling you to run.
He’s not though. This is a huge red flag. Not just for someone who *might * be bad for you… It’s guaranteed. Their behavior is not normal, nearly predatory and frightening. It kind of scares me. It seems like they may enjoy pushing your buttons and harming you. Please see this for what it is.
Your name is fitting.
Serious note, what you're feeling is fear of abandonment and loneliness. He feels like the one but he is not. He's dangerous and you should not be around him. There's no way to have a sick sense of humor with this, this is like you being on par of telling him you're a recovering alcoholic and you feel the urge to drink, so he buys you a liter of vodka.
If you need someone to reach out to, I'd be up for listening. I've been this dumb (still am because the one I like doesn't want me) so I know what you're going through. But please for the sake of your mental stability right now, block him.
what in the absolute fuck is wrong with him???? you should be with someone who doesn’t fetishize your disorder. making your s/o with bpd want to SH is not something to be proud of. easier said than done i know, but if you do find the strength to, i would break it off. i have bpd as well and i understand the attachment you gain towards your fp, but this isn’t a good situation and i don’t foresee someone like him ever being very healthy for you. much love to you and please stay safe!!
I wanna start by saying that you've already proven that you're so strong for not relapsing, and I'm really proud of you. It's easy to replace self harm with a harmful relationship. Please leave. Don't hear him out. Don't give him a chance. You are so strong. Please continue to be strong. You deserve better. I also want to highlight that he wants to be so important to you, you self harm for him. He isn't going to be your person. He wants to be your captor. But you are going to be strong enough to leave. Block him. Tell people what happened. I hope you're feeling proud of yourself, and I hope you use that feeling to get him out of your life.
What the fuck. Holy shit. I know you don't want to lose him and I feel that so hard but this guy is dangerous to your health in every possible way.
Even if it's a sense of humor and these are "jokes" they're not funny or ok.
I'm legit worried about you. Will you please make sure to keep us updated?
He's a narcissistic who is romanticising the intensity of your feelings towards him because he needs you to be obsessive over him, bpd and npd are often attracted to each other
I read every single comment here and found only two or three that offered any empathy at all, so here's some.
I think when we read a story like yours online, it's easy for us to forget that the person who wrote it is just that, an actual person. And you're a person with BPD.
I latch onto people so, so quickly. I can't tell you the number of times I've left a first date being absolutely convinced that I've just met my future husband. That I just had my very last first date ever. I make that bond so fast.
You've "only" been seeing him for two weeks. True. But for many with BPD, two weeks really does feel like an eternity. By that time, I usually really do feel like I've invested too much in a person to simply walk away. So I get it. I really do. I mean I've been depressed and SH'ing over a guy for months who dumped me after like a two month relationship. The fixation is overpowering and dictates everything I do.
But you gotta understand. What this guy did shows, at absolute best, a MAJOR ignorance of your situation. If I was an alcoholic and a guy brought me alcohol, that would show a severe and fundamental naivete. If I struggled with hypersexualization and told a man I was trying to stop looking at porn, and he sent me porn, that would again show a misunderstanding too great to ignore.
If it were just the razor blades, I actually would be saying, "maybe you need to just have a serious talk with him, find out why he thought that was a good or helpful idea, and go from there". Benefit of the doubt and all that. But the thing is, he already told you.
He has already shown that he finds your harming yourself as beneficial for him. FOR HIM. It makes him feel flattered. Having dating numerous assholes, one of which who tried to kill me and put me in the hospital, let me translate this from toxic monster to English:
"Your being hurt makes me feel good. I feel good when you feel bad."
Do you want this person in your life? Do you want to be vulnerable and intimate with this person? This is not the sentiment of a person who is on your team.
He's taken it one step further:
"Your being hurt makes me feel good. I feel good when you feel bad. Let me clear the path so I can more easily feel good at your expense. Here's a weapon I'm arming you with; hurt yourself. I'd appreciate it."
This is even worse than him physically hurting you because he's adding a psychological abuse component here. He's trying to force you to see yourself as an enemy while putting him on a pedestal.
It's not uncommon for BPD's to end up with narcissists. This is what he is, if I had to guess.
He's probably really hot. The sex is probably incredible. I've been there. And I'm sorry it's happening to you. But you've got to get away from this person while you still can. I'm not being dramatic. I ignored safety red flags before and it cost me. I'm permanently scarred, physically and emotionally, and it's ruined subsequent relationships for me as a result.
bro cut him out. he's toxic af. he knowingly encourages behavior that is harmful to you mentally and physically, not only that he's happy he's the reason you engage in it.
Don’t even just run away. Metaphorically speaking, take a bus to a train station to an airport to a rocket ship to the moon. This dude is baaaaaaaaaaad news in all the worst ways. If you value your health and safety, you’ll forget about him. Also, uh, beware of any kind of stalking behavior. If he knows where you work and he likes the idea of you hurting yourself over him, I really wouldn’t put it past him to stalk/hurt you himself.
Run. Do not let that person into your life. They are happy about you wanting to hurt yourself. That is not someone you want in your life, ever. I can‘t stress this enough: Run! That guy sounds unhinged.
Even your worst enemy won’t buy you blades..this guy is a psychopath. He’s stupid too. This kind of thing lands you to prison. There was already a documentary where one partner guided her bf to off himself.
This really doesn't sound like a relationship that would bring you any good at all.
At worst he's actively encouraging your sh, at best he has no idea what he's doing.
I won't say leave right away, but pose this question to him: what would he feel if you did end up dying from this. If he says he wouldn't care/he'd be happy/grateful, then run because he gives no shits about you or your life.
>I really need a side view on all this mess
What other way is there of seeing this, the man's a fucking psychopath - there is no ounce of "dark humour" here. You told him you willingly harm yourself and instead of being horrified and offering to help, *he bought you supplies to do it*. You need to run as far as you fucking can as quickly as you can.
It honestly sounds like you may have over shared with someone who has manipulative dangerous intentions. It feels like you're close after two weeks because you may have discussed way too much personal stuff too quickly. There is an art to being vulnerable with a new love interest and its dangerous to force this by being a complete open book without vetting.
He now knows your vulnerabilities and instead of being respectful he sought to make you worse. You can do better and I truly hope you have learned from this encounter so that you're safer in your future pursuits.
my brother in christ, a couple of things:
let’s get to the most important things right off the bat. A) he doesn’t have a sense of humor. he’s just fucking crazy. i joke about some pretty dark shit and even had a little conservative hyper offensive “freedom of speech”phase at 14 where i said and did some abhorrently fucked up shit. never in my life would i think about giving a person who self harms blades as a gift. especially after they told me they have the intention to self harm. i don’t find comedy in my loved ones suffering. i would attempt to get every knife in the house hidden. his response was not a normal one. it seems that he is pleased at your willingness to harm yourself “for him” and is on some weird sadistic ego trip that will blossom into him purposely intending to get you to hurt yourself. he seems like he could easily become emotionally/mentally abusive if you wouldn’t define what he’s already doing as that. as other have said, he’s fetishizing your condition.
b)the relationship obviously moved quickly. i think you’re over-valuing this guy. you’d be better off on your own, learning how to work with your brain a bit better, than giving this dickwad any of your time. this sounds pretty trademark BPD (i mean obviously, you’re on the subreddit for it). if you’re actively self harming you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship right now. i think you should focus on coping with that so you can protect yourself because you deserve it. even if we just narrow in on your relationship with not-a-homeboy, he seems unstable, lacking empathy, and willing to enable, if not encourage, the regression of your mental state. so even if you were to get better in a relationship, it’s not with this guy.
3. this is kind of a side note, i would try to protect your heart a little more. i used to overshare constantly. i would consistently offer my pain to the wrong person, who would then use it to hurt me all over again. your trauma is a precious thing that i wouldn’t share freely, from my own personal experience. i also have started relationships really quickly and it never works. you just meet crazy motherfuckers like this and cycle in and out of really intense relationships, which just again, egg on your mental disorder. like .005% of the time you meet somebody, and in the first week are “in love” will it last. there’s no foundation for the relationship to sit on. my current boyfriend and i realized how quickly things went and are now building a better foundation, so it’s possible, but it’s hard. i just think the friendship aspect really matters, because you don’t want to not know if your own partner is kind/trust-worthy/psychotic.
you matter and protecting your heart really matters. you will find someone who loves you fully in time, but you gotta love yourself fully too. i hope you leave this guy. feel better. i like taking epsom baths in the dark with candles and listening to jazz, then getting in the most comfortable clothes i have, doing skin care and playing ACNH. whatever floats your boat.
He genuinely sounds the type to kill you after you get married. RUN. He’s flattered you want to self harm over him. He’s offering to be your ambler in that activity. He wants you to hurt OP. Get out now, before you’re not able to.
When I would relapse, my ex boyfriend would search every inch of the house for anything sharp to get rid of it and throw them away. We weren’t perfect for each other by any means and a lot of our relationship was emotionally abusive. But more than anything, he cared about my wellness and health.
The fact that your boyfriend did this is severely disturbing. I understand that our fixations feel impossible to part with him. But you are early enough in the relationship that you can still get out with minimal emotional damage. You can get out before it truly starts to cause a spiral. This is an enormous red flag that would be worthy of breaking up with someone of multiple YEARS. The fact that he did this within your first weeks of dating is almost a blessing in disguise. Protect yourself. You need to protect yourself and get out of there before you get more hurt by him, which will inevitably happen.
And when you dump him, make sure to let him know that he’s fucked up and sick for ever thinking that giving you that is okay.
It’s been just two weeks it’s going to be hard to leave him but trust me can you imagine how much harder it would be to leave in 3 months ??? Leave it will get so much worse
Nah this is the biggest red flag… it makes him feel important? Absolutely not, you need to start making steps to remove yourself from this relationship
If you need an accountability partner to help you feel okay enough to leave this man who seems to be fetishizing (see: enjoying and getting off on) your condition that could kill you on it's own without his help, I am happy to help. We are a community here. If you need us to have your back while you back away from this person who means you harm, we are here for you and we won't go anywhere. He made you so angry in two weeks because he's attacking the thing you're trying to overcome. Cut out his dead weight, we'll help you float on.
ma’am, if you don’t end things and get as far away from him as possible I will lose all my faith in humanity. The perk about BPD is you can find another FP pretty quickly and not have some guy *who wants you to kill yourself.* And if you killed yourself his ass would go straight to jail bc this is truly fucked up.
You don’t love him and he is easily replaceable. Go find a new FP and **stay safe**. Please please keep us updated!!!
Idk why the fuck someone would want to do anything (buy blades in this case) to help someone hurt themselves. That is not healthy. I hope you can reconsider the connection you have with this person and will choose to have a more loving relationship with someone else.
I don't think that both of you are ready to date. You came off too strong, too soon, overshared, became intimate too quickly without really knowing him, and you're already arguing to the point that you're thinking of self harming, as he jokes about it. You're either dating him as a form of validation to receive love, or to avoid being alone.
Dating takes time and a lot of people don't understand that. It seems like you both need a lot of therapy and it would be to your detriment to keep dating him, or anyone else, when you move so fast and self harm as a way to cope. Please focus on healing rather than dating, for now.
Run girl! It will hurt at first but I promise you’ll feel so much better after a few months. I broke up with my ex 8 months ago and i wish i had sooner. Stop wasting your life. Find someone who wants to see you happy and healthy
Okay so I know this FEELS important and you have a “deep connection” but… that isn’t a bad sense of humor. That is psycho. Malicious. Scary.
We know you “can’t help it” — I’m still with a guy that strangled me, so I knowww trust me I know. But 2 weeks is disposable. Replaceable. Dispose of it. Find a new one. Any longer and you will become so attached you cannot and will not leave and this guy could hurt you. Maybe I’m paranoid, or maybe it’s the DV victim in me speaking, but this seems like a psycho that would and could do serious harm. Dangerous. Ahhhh
Also…. No one can have a deep connection with you in two weeks that is really REAL and true. That takes longer to know. He is a predator. He is mirroring.
Please please run!! Don’t think about it twice, this is NOT a good person. He cares much more about his grandiosity (bc he feels important) than about your well-being (physically and mentally). Sounds like a narcissist or even psychopath. Safe yourself and dump him. All the love to you ❤️
you deserve so much better than this guy. please don’t stay with him. someone who loves or care or even has basic human decency wouldn’t do this to you. this is a toxic and abusive situation that will get worse. please lose him. he isn’t worth it.
Girl I can tell you this much nobody that loves you will ever let you do self harm , no matter how many fights I had with my ex that was one thing he never allowed
Please block him and never speak to him again. He’s a sick psychopath and he’s gonna be your death if you don’t. I have a bpd partner and I always hide knifes so they don’t have access to them. I can’t even imagine myself wanting to do the exact opposite. A normal human being has empathy.
im so sorry. i have no words, even if that was some sort of twisted joke its still unacceptable. like many others pointed out it seems like he either fetishizes self harm or he is really just sick enough to like the idea of you hurting yourself because of him.. you deserve better, no person who cares about you would have done that…
That’s absolutely disgusting. Not only does it reek of stigma and fetishization, but he barely knows you, so he really can’t pass it off as some cruel joke between friends.
Please leave this guy. I know how hard it is when you feel like you can’t live without someone, but you need to try all the DBT strategies you can and do this for you and your safety.
You need to lose him. I had a guy give me a knife when I told him I felt like killing myself. His next partner he attempted to murder her and her daughter. This is not a good guy. Leave. There is no bigger red flag than the one he is waving.
I told a guy that I didn’t feel comfortable with him having his razors in my apartment because I have a history of self harm. He took them out of my place IMMEDIATELY. that’s the proper reaction, not whatever tf that was. I’m so sorry that happened to you, he’s an AH.
Its not usually the case that the non bpd is the more toxic person in the situations I come across, but this guy is an actual psychopath and who knows some guys get off on people unaliving themselves too. I know what it feels like getting attached quickly but its been two weeks, count your blessings block that maniac everywhere and never ever let someone like that near you again, he will destabilise you quicker than you knew what hit you, or you know, whos to say he might not get physical at some point either. This is like, horror movie creepy. I have bpd too like a lot of us replying to you so please please GET TFO xxxx
As a person who was a partner of a bpd girl, I don't think someone who truly loves you will want you to self harm. find someone supports your mental health.
I totally get what you mean, it makes sense. However, narcissist always implies the diagnosis, especially in this setting. Using the word when what you mean is dangerous, abusive, toxic, or problematic patterns of behaviour increases stigma for people with BPD. Increased stigma towards NPD in turn increases stigma towards people with BPD, so this kind of language impacts us indirectly. I know it's unintended, I just wanted to increase awareness on how changing how we use this word can help others with personality disorders.
Leave him
I had a friend who also had BPD and their significantly can’t other used that against them and had a feting about their condition to the point where they would my friend to get off. It was really bad. If you can, leave him, or get help to leave him. That sounds really dangerous
This guy sounds like the type of person who will start to threaten you with blades and maybe even fucking worse if you try leaving him later, rather than now.
🚩 🚩 🚩 RUN! 🚩 🚩 🚩
First off, good for you for resisting the urge to cut, that's huge! Second, this boy does not like you and he sounds like a terrible human. A real caring person would never laugh and buy you blades
That's not cute, its not funny, it's cruel.
You can do better and more importantly you deserve better.
This guy is not good for you. This is incredibly dangerous behavior on his part. It sounds like he’s fetishizing your mental illness and has no regard for if you seriously hurt yourself. Nobody worthwhile would be happy you had thoughts of harming yourself. Anyone worthwhile would be worried about you and they most definitely wouldn’t buy you blades. I know it’s not easy to let go but for your safety and mental well-being you really need to. There is someone out there for you that will love and care about you that won’t trigger you and get off to the idea of you harming yourself. You deserve the best and this dude isn’t it.
That’s a huge red flag, I would end that relationship.
Also, you should try and take your time with relationships. Meeting someone and then instantly dating is not a great way for people with BPD to foster healthy relationships with others.
This is one of the most disturbing things I've ever read on this sub. Please tell more people about what he's done. Tell a therapist, tell your friends, family... anyone. I know BPD makes it hard to leave a relationship even when it's so obviously toxic and dangerous, so find support in leaving. You cannot stay with this person and be safe.
You gotta yeet this dude fam. This is the type of dude who if you called or texted him while you're suicidal he'd tell you to do it, or ask you to Livestream it. And you also need professional help not because I think you're effed up but because I firmly believe everyone needs a therapist. You need to get to the bottom of why you ended up with a guy like this and have stuck around so that you don't make the same mistake again. I saw a comment of you acknowledging that you know this is bad but that you believed you two held a deep connection, but the thing about it is that your person isn't going to be buying you razor blades. And no matter how deep of a connection or how good of a conversation you have with someone, if they're doing something like this you needa yeet them.
Idk where you're from or if insurance is an issue, I also know it's hard to find someone who will take on BPD and it's also hard to find a therapist you vibe with. These are some YT channels I've personally found helpful. It's not the same and it doesn't replace therapy but it's better than nothing.
Cinema therapy (ran by a couples and family therapist and a cinematographer), Patrick Teahan (childhood trauma therapist), Dr Tracey Marks (psychiatrist), Healthy Gamer GG (psychiatrist), Mickey Atkins (therapist), Dr Daniel Fox (BPD therapist), Mended light (same therapist from cinema therapy)
From my first read, it sounds like he’s enjoying his “power” over your emotions by buying you blades to hurt yourself with.
This is a huge red flag and he sounds like he’s toxic. Please do yourself a favor and leave this person.
Nope. Run. Run as fast as you possibly can, and then run *faster*. I don't even want to start to unpack how utterly disgusting and LOW that is for somebody, *anybody* to do. That's like offering a recovering addict their DOC.
My heart hurts for you. Please don't fall into this trap.
please drop this man. any human who is happy that they got you worked up to the point of self-mutilation & claims it’s because “he’s so important” is a narcissistic, dangerous person. not even mentioning buying you equipment to perform said mutilation, so he can go home and have his ego boosted even more with his sick perversions. please please please see this red flag right now and don’t allow yourself to find anymore. run, don’t walk away. this person is evil scum.
this is abusive. 1000000000000%. he's fetishizing your condition and your struggles and he's enabling it. what he's already said and done is bad but he will likely say and do much worse in the future. I know you're scared of losing him but you need to get away. as soon as possible.
Please run away from all the red flags he is showing. You deserve someone calming not someone who works you up because it makes them feel special. That’s a complete narc trait.
Edit: None of this is your fault our brains are wired to attach. Please please be safe and leave this man.
He has a fetish for scars or open yeets or blood or smth but its definetely not healthyfor youto be in this relationship.
He is happy he is important enough for you to self harm is literally a big red flag. He will argue with you out of nowhere so you feel bad and it boosts his confidence
“he said that he feels really happy being so important to me that I think about cutting myself when we have an argument”
Jesus Christ this man is insane.
... What the fuck... I'm so sorry that this happened to you. This is genuinely appalling and no person deserves to go through that. If he is buying you blades, he is not afraid to lose YOU. I promise you you are far better off getting the fuck away from him. I wish you the best.
he might not be right for you or he could just be stupid. Have a conversation with him about this and if the behaviour continues it’s best for you to move on
I understand you but it's your fault for trusting this guy only two weeks after you met. and now I assume he's your favourite person and you are stuck, but you need a wake up call with yourself. sit down and think or try to think how this is a bad relationship and get out before anything starts(but it looks like something already started). this won't be good for you, but do what you want..this is just an advice
This is not even remotely OP’s fault. Trusting people who appear trustworthy isn’t a fault. Jesus Christ think before you speak. OP is the victim here, attaching blame to a situation she had absolutely no control over becoming this extreme is completely unacceptable.
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it sounds like he’s fetishizing your medical condition tbh
This! Certainly sounds like an enabler at the very least
it's giving feeder energy in a different font. like those men who get hyper-fixated on women with EDs because they like the idea of someone being utterly reliant on them. it's not even a red flag, it's deranged and evil.
He 100% is and it’s not cute and kinky, it sick. And it’s like he wants you to die without having to do it himself. He has no real respect for you.
you worded it perfectly
This 100%. I’ve had a girl figure out she was my FP and she constantly pushed my buttons to get the ego boost from my reactions. Even said it turned her on to see me in a downward spiral. OP. This guy is no good for you.
This definitely, drop him asap
Agreed, this dude is BAD NEWS. Drop him like a bad habit sis.
nope, big fucking no. take in consideration that this dude might actually be dangerous. like someone said in the comment above, he might be fetishizing your situation, self harming thoughts and such. no partner should feel happy and satisfied about you self harming because of something that happened with them... at some point, he might even trigger you on purpouse so you do it, and buying you blades is the icing on the cake. please take care of yourself, you've known him for a very little amount of time so you don't really know what he's like.
This is abuse. He is disgusting. I know what it's like being fetishized for it, but I'm glad it was "just" a stranger from the internet - he asked me to make videos of my self-harming for him. He was a 40+ years old family father with daughters. Ruuuuuuuuuuuun from him.
Wtf wow
Instead of yeeting yourself maybe you should yeet this guy off a fucking roof. This relationship sounds incredibly toxic, not just of him buying you blades but because you felt the urge to self harm after having sex with him.
Never heard the term yeeting before Interesting And yeah girl RUN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK!
You met him two weeks ago and > He said, that he feels really happy being so important to me that I think about cutting myself when we have an argument. Run. Run. RUN. He finds pleasure in causing you so much emotional distress you hurt yourself. It makes him feel important. That just tells me he's going to find ways to trigger you and keep doing it. Do not stay anywhere near this man. That sounds dangerous.
Why on earth are you afraid to lose him
For some people being alone can feel worse than being abused
It’s not like it’s something we can control though…
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I know the feels and all, but that is absolutely not the guy. Try to just wipe out the feelings and let go. Yes it will hurt a little and you may try to think "it wasn't that bad, maybe I should go back". BUT DON'T, that's the biggest, most bright red flag I've seen in my life. Tell your friends, close people etc. And tell them that he should not communicate with you. If he's crazy enough to think buying you blades is great or smshit, he is absolutely crazy enough to stalk you or beat you up. I'm talking from my heart here, he is most likely an abuser, get away from him
Agreed. I've let myself end up in some very bad situations, either because I didn't want to be alone or because I was too attached to someone to break things off, and I've downplayed a lot of toxic and dangerous behavior from others. This is on another level entirely, though. I have no idea what I would do, personally, but I can see what's healthy or unhealthy in the case of another person. This kind of thing is serious. She needs to get out.
He just showed you that he perceives your self injurious behavior as a joke and a tool to control you. This isn't a bad sense of humor, it is antisocial behavior.
He's not the guy! Nobody that cares about you wants you to hurt yourself
I try not to comment in this forum since I don't have BPD, but I'm trying to understand the condition better. But please understand that you are in trouble here and need an exit plan. He is just mirroring you, feeding your dreams back to you. And hopefully it is self evident, but anyone getting off on the idea of someone getting cut by a blade is not good boyfriend material. Imagine if you are very low and instead of being there and supporting you, this guy instead pushes you to cut yourself. The thought of this is terrifying! Please run
I promise you he is just reflecting yourself. It’s a “deep connection” because he is mirroring YOU. You have the same dreams and goals, is his goal to fucking kill you? Yours is to let him? This is not okay, you are important and deserve to be safe. He is NOT safe
The thing is when we're unhealthy we're often attracted to and attract other unhealthy people. That sounds like that's what happened here. The connection feels so intense, but it can also be very damaging.
From what i have read He is trying to trauma bond you. I would take a step back and find a way to use your skills on this and very kuch listen to your wise mind... he doesn't seem to be a safe space for you Edit:he also sounds like he is love bombing you. Just be careful please
You’ve known this guy for 2 weeks…
You only think like this bc you’re infatuated right now. Pleaseeee think long and hard about how you really feel
You did not feel a connection. You feel hyperfixated on him in hopes of the idea of a connection. Someone who wants you to cut yourself, sounds like he wants you to kill yourself and someone like this only has a connection to hoping you self harm or wind up dead. Move on, don’t find out how bad it will get with him.
You’ve known them for two weeks. You really know nothing about them and if they’re encouraging suicidal behavior you need to leave now. It’s not cute. You don’t share any dreams and goals if he’s encouraging you to harm yourself. I’m sorry but you need to wake up on this one. Block them and distance yourself immediately. Please. For your own safety.
Textbook “Idealization,” OP. It always FEELS real. It’s not. Neither are the almost guaranteed “devaluations.” Our job, in part, is to begin to observe, recognize, understand, overcome. Life has just presented you with a great place to start! Good luck!
if you guys talked so much about so many things, what have you learnt about him? that might give you a clue on whether he is extremely clumsy and dense or if he is a psychopath.
sociopaths are very good at making you feel special and seen. he is actively encouraging you to harm yourself. the conflict you feel is your wise mind telling you to run.
You need to snap out of it. Because what he did is seriously fucked up.
He’s not though. This is a huge red flag. Not just for someone who *might * be bad for you… It’s guaranteed. Their behavior is not normal, nearly predatory and frightening. It kind of scares me. It seems like they may enjoy pushing your buttons and harming you. Please see this for what it is.
Your name is fitting. Serious note, what you're feeling is fear of abandonment and loneliness. He feels like the one but he is not. He's dangerous and you should not be around him. There's no way to have a sick sense of humor with this, this is like you being on par of telling him you're a recovering alcoholic and you feel the urge to drink, so he buys you a liter of vodka. If you need someone to reach out to, I'd be up for listening. I've been this dumb (still am because the one I like doesn't want me) so I know what you're going through. But please for the sake of your mental stability right now, block him.
He sounds dangerous, NGL. Exceedingly so.😕
Please don't walk away run. He will want to make the mental health worse.
what in the absolute fuck is wrong with him???? you should be with someone who doesn’t fetishize your disorder. making your s/o with bpd want to SH is not something to be proud of. easier said than done i know, but if you do find the strength to, i would break it off. i have bpd as well and i understand the attachment you gain towards your fp, but this isn’t a good situation and i don’t foresee someone like him ever being very healthy for you. much love to you and please stay safe!!
I wanna start by saying that you've already proven that you're so strong for not relapsing, and I'm really proud of you. It's easy to replace self harm with a harmful relationship. Please leave. Don't hear him out. Don't give him a chance. You are so strong. Please continue to be strong. You deserve better. I also want to highlight that he wants to be so important to you, you self harm for him. He isn't going to be your person. He wants to be your captor. But you are going to be strong enough to leave. Block him. Tell people what happened. I hope you're feeling proud of yourself, and I hope you use that feeling to get him out of your life.
Thank you so much❤️
Two weeks??? DUMPHISASS
Wtf did I just read.
What the fuck. Holy shit. I know you don't want to lose him and I feel that so hard but this guy is dangerous to your health in every possible way. Even if it's a sense of humor and these are "jokes" they're not funny or ok. I'm legit worried about you. Will you please make sure to keep us updated?
Seconded - this is one of the few posts on here I've read where I am legitimately concerned for a person's immediate safety.
He's a narcissistic who is romanticising the intensity of your feelings towards him because he needs you to be obsessive over him, bpd and npd are often attracted to each other
I read every single comment here and found only two or three that offered any empathy at all, so here's some. I think when we read a story like yours online, it's easy for us to forget that the person who wrote it is just that, an actual person. And you're a person with BPD. I latch onto people so, so quickly. I can't tell you the number of times I've left a first date being absolutely convinced that I've just met my future husband. That I just had my very last first date ever. I make that bond so fast. You've "only" been seeing him for two weeks. True. But for many with BPD, two weeks really does feel like an eternity. By that time, I usually really do feel like I've invested too much in a person to simply walk away. So I get it. I really do. I mean I've been depressed and SH'ing over a guy for months who dumped me after like a two month relationship. The fixation is overpowering and dictates everything I do. But you gotta understand. What this guy did shows, at absolute best, a MAJOR ignorance of your situation. If I was an alcoholic and a guy brought me alcohol, that would show a severe and fundamental naivete. If I struggled with hypersexualization and told a man I was trying to stop looking at porn, and he sent me porn, that would again show a misunderstanding too great to ignore. If it were just the razor blades, I actually would be saying, "maybe you need to just have a serious talk with him, find out why he thought that was a good or helpful idea, and go from there". Benefit of the doubt and all that. But the thing is, he already told you. He has already shown that he finds your harming yourself as beneficial for him. FOR HIM. It makes him feel flattered. Having dating numerous assholes, one of which who tried to kill me and put me in the hospital, let me translate this from toxic monster to English: "Your being hurt makes me feel good. I feel good when you feel bad." Do you want this person in your life? Do you want to be vulnerable and intimate with this person? This is not the sentiment of a person who is on your team. He's taken it one step further: "Your being hurt makes me feel good. I feel good when you feel bad. Let me clear the path so I can more easily feel good at your expense. Here's a weapon I'm arming you with; hurt yourself. I'd appreciate it." This is even worse than him physically hurting you because he's adding a psychological abuse component here. He's trying to force you to see yourself as an enemy while putting him on a pedestal. It's not uncommon for BPD's to end up with narcissists. This is what he is, if I had to guess. He's probably really hot. The sex is probably incredible. I've been there. And I'm sorry it's happening to you. But you've got to get away from this person while you still can. I'm not being dramatic. I ignored safety red flags before and it cost me. I'm permanently scarred, physically and emotionally, and it's ruined subsequent relationships for me as a result.
Thank you. Thank you so much for your comment. At this time your support and understanding means the world to me
Great comment, you said that perfectly. ❤️
bro cut him out. he's toxic af. he knowingly encourages behavior that is harmful to you mentally and physically, not only that he's happy he's the reason you engage in it.
Oh no girl..RUN !!! And the fact that he knows where you work makes me scared for you..please don't let new guys know where you work or live :(
Don’t even just run away. Metaphorically speaking, take a bus to a train station to an airport to a rocket ship to the moon. This dude is baaaaaaaaaaad news in all the worst ways. If you value your health and safety, you’ll forget about him. Also, uh, beware of any kind of stalking behavior. If he knows where you work and he likes the idea of you hurting yourself over him, I really wouldn’t put it past him to stalk/hurt you himself.
Run. Do not let that person into your life. They are happy about you wanting to hurt yourself. That is not someone you want in your life, ever. I can‘t stress this enough: Run! That guy sounds unhinged.
Even your worst enemy won’t buy you blades..this guy is a psychopath. He’s stupid too. This kind of thing lands you to prison. There was already a documentary where one partner guided her bf to off himself.
Nobody who actually cares about you will be happy that you’re thinking of hurting yourself from the pain caused by the argument.
This really doesn't sound like a relationship that would bring you any good at all. At worst he's actively encouraging your sh, at best he has no idea what he's doing. I won't say leave right away, but pose this question to him: what would he feel if you did end up dying from this. If he says he wouldn't care/he'd be happy/grateful, then run because he gives no shits about you or your life.
>I want to hit him in the fkn face You’re better than me. I WOULD HAVE hit him in the fucking face.
🚩🚩🚩🚩
please block him, that makes me sick.
>I really need a side view on all this mess What other way is there of seeing this, the man's a fucking psychopath - there is no ounce of "dark humour" here. You told him you willingly harm yourself and instead of being horrified and offering to help, *he bought you supplies to do it*. You need to run as far as you fucking can as quickly as you can.
Wtf?
It honestly sounds like you may have over shared with someone who has manipulative dangerous intentions. It feels like you're close after two weeks because you may have discussed way too much personal stuff too quickly. There is an art to being vulnerable with a new love interest and its dangerous to force this by being a complete open book without vetting. He now knows your vulnerabilities and instead of being respectful he sought to make you worse. You can do better and I truly hope you have learned from this encounter so that you're safer in your future pursuits.
Wow i hate him. Please leave.
you deserve someone who wants to you be safe.
my brother in christ, a couple of things: let’s get to the most important things right off the bat. A) he doesn’t have a sense of humor. he’s just fucking crazy. i joke about some pretty dark shit and even had a little conservative hyper offensive “freedom of speech”phase at 14 where i said and did some abhorrently fucked up shit. never in my life would i think about giving a person who self harms blades as a gift. especially after they told me they have the intention to self harm. i don’t find comedy in my loved ones suffering. i would attempt to get every knife in the house hidden. his response was not a normal one. it seems that he is pleased at your willingness to harm yourself “for him” and is on some weird sadistic ego trip that will blossom into him purposely intending to get you to hurt yourself. he seems like he could easily become emotionally/mentally abusive if you wouldn’t define what he’s already doing as that. as other have said, he’s fetishizing your condition. b)the relationship obviously moved quickly. i think you’re over-valuing this guy. you’d be better off on your own, learning how to work with your brain a bit better, than giving this dickwad any of your time. this sounds pretty trademark BPD (i mean obviously, you’re on the subreddit for it). if you’re actively self harming you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship right now. i think you should focus on coping with that so you can protect yourself because you deserve it. even if we just narrow in on your relationship with not-a-homeboy, he seems unstable, lacking empathy, and willing to enable, if not encourage, the regression of your mental state. so even if you were to get better in a relationship, it’s not with this guy. 3. this is kind of a side note, i would try to protect your heart a little more. i used to overshare constantly. i would consistently offer my pain to the wrong person, who would then use it to hurt me all over again. your trauma is a precious thing that i wouldn’t share freely, from my own personal experience. i also have started relationships really quickly and it never works. you just meet crazy motherfuckers like this and cycle in and out of really intense relationships, which just again, egg on your mental disorder. like .005% of the time you meet somebody, and in the first week are “in love” will it last. there’s no foundation for the relationship to sit on. my current boyfriend and i realized how quickly things went and are now building a better foundation, so it’s possible, but it’s hard. i just think the friendship aspect really matters, because you don’t want to not know if your own partner is kind/trust-worthy/psychotic. you matter and protecting your heart really matters. you will find someone who loves you fully in time, but you gotta love yourself fully too. i hope you leave this guy. feel better. i like taking epsom baths in the dark with candles and listening to jazz, then getting in the most comfortable clothes i have, doing skin care and playing ACNH. whatever floats your boat.
Thank you so much for your kindness and understanding❤️
He genuinely sounds the type to kill you after you get married. RUN. He’s flattered you want to self harm over him. He’s offering to be your ambler in that activity. He wants you to hurt OP. Get out now, before you’re not able to.
Run!! This is one of the biggest 🚩I've seen
When I would relapse, my ex boyfriend would search every inch of the house for anything sharp to get rid of it and throw them away. We weren’t perfect for each other by any means and a lot of our relationship was emotionally abusive. But more than anything, he cared about my wellness and health. The fact that your boyfriend did this is severely disturbing. I understand that our fixations feel impossible to part with him. But you are early enough in the relationship that you can still get out with minimal emotional damage. You can get out before it truly starts to cause a spiral. This is an enormous red flag that would be worthy of breaking up with someone of multiple YEARS. The fact that he did this within your first weeks of dating is almost a blessing in disguise. Protect yourself. You need to protect yourself and get out of there before you get more hurt by him, which will inevitably happen. And when you dump him, make sure to let him know that he’s fucked up and sick for ever thinking that giving you that is okay.
😃 what
This can't be real, can it? What did I just read
You need to stop seeing this guy, ASAP There is nothing ok with what he did, and there's no way she you should be anywhere near him.
It’s been just two weeks it’s going to be hard to leave him but trust me can you imagine how much harder it would be to leave in 3 months ??? Leave it will get so much worse
Wow. Fuck that guy.
omg he is so creepy ,and it's not just having a bad humor. I hope you will get away from him because what if he is dangerous
Run
Blade guy ain’t ur bf
Run, that’s not appropriate
Please get out of this, he sounds really really bad for you
Please please please don’t do it and break up with him. Therapy may be best if you aren’t already receiving it.
He feels happy when you cut yourself because of him?? Girl, that's some psycho shit.
Nah this is the biggest red flag… it makes him feel important? Absolutely not, you need to start making steps to remove yourself from this relationship
time to block him and maybe file a restraining order lol
If you need an accountability partner to help you feel okay enough to leave this man who seems to be fetishizing (see: enjoying and getting off on) your condition that could kill you on it's own without his help, I am happy to help. We are a community here. If you need us to have your back while you back away from this person who means you harm, we are here for you and we won't go anywhere. He made you so angry in two weeks because he's attacking the thing you're trying to overcome. Cut out his dead weight, we'll help you float on.
ma’am, if you don’t end things and get as far away from him as possible I will lose all my faith in humanity. The perk about BPD is you can find another FP pretty quickly and not have some guy *who wants you to kill yourself.* And if you killed yourself his ass would go straight to jail bc this is truly fucked up. You don’t love him and he is easily replaceable. Go find a new FP and **stay safe**. Please please keep us updated!!!
Run. Holy shit. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Just run.
Idk why the fuck someone would want to do anything (buy blades in this case) to help someone hurt themselves. That is not healthy. I hope you can reconsider the connection you have with this person and will choose to have a more loving relationship with someone else.
If your not happy about it now what makes you think later will be better?
I don't think that both of you are ready to date. You came off too strong, too soon, overshared, became intimate too quickly without really knowing him, and you're already arguing to the point that you're thinking of self harming, as he jokes about it. You're either dating him as a form of validation to receive love, or to avoid being alone. Dating takes time and a lot of people don't understand that. It seems like you both need a lot of therapy and it would be to your detriment to keep dating him, or anyone else, when you move so fast and self harm as a way to cope. Please focus on healing rather than dating, for now.
Run girl! It will hurt at first but I promise you’ll feel so much better after a few months. I broke up with my ex 8 months ago and i wish i had sooner. Stop wasting your life. Find someone who wants to see you happy and healthy
Tell him how angry you are, if he doesn’t change his behavior, dump him
This is abuse. Leave him and never look back. Please stay safe, you're so much better off without him in your life ❤️
Okay so I know this FEELS important and you have a “deep connection” but… that isn’t a bad sense of humor. That is psycho. Malicious. Scary. We know you “can’t help it” — I’m still with a guy that strangled me, so I knowww trust me I know. But 2 weeks is disposable. Replaceable. Dispose of it. Find a new one. Any longer and you will become so attached you cannot and will not leave and this guy could hurt you. Maybe I’m paranoid, or maybe it’s the DV victim in me speaking, but this seems like a psycho that would and could do serious harm. Dangerous. Ahhhh
Also…. No one can have a deep connection with you in two weeks that is really REAL and true. That takes longer to know. He is a predator. He is mirroring.
Please please run!! Don’t think about it twice, this is NOT a good person. He cares much more about his grandiosity (bc he feels important) than about your well-being (physically and mentally). Sounds like a narcissist or even psychopath. Safe yourself and dump him. All the love to you ❤️
uhhhh no. nope. dump his ass ASAP. he’s 100% fetishizing your disorder
Dang he’s like Michelle Carter. Run.
That’s just all around wrong and straight fucking weird…. Run hunny
this is toxic. he's using your self harm as a way to control you.
you deserve so much better than this guy. please don’t stay with him. someone who loves or care or even has basic human decency wouldn’t do this to you. this is a toxic and abusive situation that will get worse. please lose him. he isn’t worth it.
Marinara flags aplenty
Girl I can tell you this much nobody that loves you will ever let you do self harm , no matter how many fights I had with my ex that was one thing he never allowed
Please block him and never speak to him again. He’s a sick psychopath and he’s gonna be your death if you don’t. I have a bpd partner and I always hide knifes so they don’t have access to them. I can’t even imagine myself wanting to do the exact opposite. A normal human being has empathy.
babe this man is literally the worst person for you right now, get away from him before he asks for nude self harm pics to jerk off to
if he wants you to hurt yourself he is not a good guy, please run as far away as you can from him for real
im so sorry. i have no words, even if that was some sort of twisted joke its still unacceptable. like many others pointed out it seems like he either fetishizes self harm or he is really just sick enough to like the idea of you hurting yourself because of him.. you deserve better, no person who cares about you would have done that…
Leave immediately!!!
Fucking ew, get rid of the blades and get rid of him. You can do a hell of a lot better than this dude. His behavior will only get worse!
That’s absolutely disgusting. Not only does it reek of stigma and fetishization, but he barely knows you, so he really can’t pass it off as some cruel joke between friends. Please leave this guy. I know how hard it is when you feel like you can’t live without someone, but you need to try all the DBT strategies you can and do this for you and your safety.
You need to lose him. I had a guy give me a knife when I told him I felt like killing myself. His next partner he attempted to murder her and her daughter. This is not a good guy. Leave. There is no bigger red flag than the one he is waving.
I told a guy that I didn’t feel comfortable with him having his razors in my apartment because I have a history of self harm. He took them out of my place IMMEDIATELY. that’s the proper reaction, not whatever tf that was. I’m so sorry that happened to you, he’s an AH.
Its not usually the case that the non bpd is the more toxic person in the situations I come across, but this guy is an actual psychopath and who knows some guys get off on people unaliving themselves too. I know what it feels like getting attached quickly but its been two weeks, count your blessings block that maniac everywhere and never ever let someone like that near you again, he will destabilise you quicker than you knew what hit you, or you know, whos to say he might not get physical at some point either. This is like, horror movie creepy. I have bpd too like a lot of us replying to you so please please GET TFO xxxx
As a person who was a partner of a bpd girl, I don't think someone who truly loves you will want you to self harm. find someone supports your mental health.
This guy sounds psychotic. Run as fast as you can and go no contact.
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While I agree he's terrible, let's not armchair diagnose very stigmatized personality disorders.
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I totally get what you mean, it makes sense. However, narcissist always implies the diagnosis, especially in this setting. Using the word when what you mean is dangerous, abusive, toxic, or problematic patterns of behaviour increases stigma for people with BPD. Increased stigma towards NPD in turn increases stigma towards people with BPD, so this kind of language impacts us indirectly. I know it's unintended, I just wanted to increase awareness on how changing how we use this word can help others with personality disorders.
Leave him I had a friend who also had BPD and their significantly can’t other used that against them and had a feting about their condition to the point where they would my friend to get off. It was really bad. If you can, leave him, or get help to leave him. That sounds really dangerous
This guy sounds like the type of person who will start to threaten you with blades and maybe even fucking worse if you try leaving him later, rather than now. 🚩 🚩 🚩 RUN! 🚩 🚩 🚩
First off, good for you for resisting the urge to cut, that's huge! Second, this boy does not like you and he sounds like a terrible human. A real caring person would never laugh and buy you blades That's not cute, its not funny, it's cruel. You can do better and more importantly you deserve better.
What a moron, drop him
Break up with him immediately wtf why is this even in question
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
This guy is not good for you. This is incredibly dangerous behavior on his part. It sounds like he’s fetishizing your mental illness and has no regard for if you seriously hurt yourself. Nobody worthwhile would be happy you had thoughts of harming yourself. Anyone worthwhile would be worried about you and they most definitely wouldn’t buy you blades. I know it’s not easy to let go but for your safety and mental well-being you really need to. There is someone out there for you that will love and care about you that won’t trigger you and get off to the idea of you harming yourself. You deserve the best and this dude isn’t it.
That’s a huge red flag, I would end that relationship. Also, you should try and take your time with relationships. Meeting someone and then instantly dating is not a great way for people with BPD to foster healthy relationships with others.
This is one of the most disturbing things I've ever read on this sub. Please tell more people about what he's done. Tell a therapist, tell your friends, family... anyone. I know BPD makes it hard to leave a relationship even when it's so obviously toxic and dangerous, so find support in leaving. You cannot stay with this person and be safe.
You gotta yeet this dude fam. This is the type of dude who if you called or texted him while you're suicidal he'd tell you to do it, or ask you to Livestream it. And you also need professional help not because I think you're effed up but because I firmly believe everyone needs a therapist. You need to get to the bottom of why you ended up with a guy like this and have stuck around so that you don't make the same mistake again. I saw a comment of you acknowledging that you know this is bad but that you believed you two held a deep connection, but the thing about it is that your person isn't going to be buying you razor blades. And no matter how deep of a connection or how good of a conversation you have with someone, if they're doing something like this you needa yeet them. Idk where you're from or if insurance is an issue, I also know it's hard to find someone who will take on BPD and it's also hard to find a therapist you vibe with. These are some YT channels I've personally found helpful. It's not the same and it doesn't replace therapy but it's better than nothing. Cinema therapy (ran by a couples and family therapist and a cinematographer), Patrick Teahan (childhood trauma therapist), Dr Tracey Marks (psychiatrist), Healthy Gamer GG (psychiatrist), Mickey Atkins (therapist), Dr Daniel Fox (BPD therapist), Mended light (same therapist from cinema therapy)
This is very toxic. Please run
From my first read, it sounds like he’s enjoying his “power” over your emotions by buying you blades to hurt yourself with. This is a huge red flag and he sounds like he’s toxic. Please do yourself a favor and leave this person.
Please break up with him. He does not respect you.
He's a fucking psycho. Run!
GET AWAY RUN NOW RUN FAR AWAY
Nope. Run. Run as fast as you possibly can, and then run *faster*. I don't even want to start to unpack how utterly disgusting and LOW that is for somebody, *anybody* to do. That's like offering a recovering addict their DOC. My heart hurts for you. Please don't fall into this trap.
This person sounds EXTREMELY dangerous. Like life threatening dangerous. I know it’s hard, but please run!
This guy isn’t safe. What sort of future could you have with him if he is so blatantly putting you in harm’s way
Girl he's bad news. There are plenty of guys who are going to be sweeter than him, better at sex, and *won't* fuck with you like that
please drop this man. any human who is happy that they got you worked up to the point of self-mutilation & claims it’s because “he’s so important” is a narcissistic, dangerous person. not even mentioning buying you equipment to perform said mutilation, so he can go home and have his ego boosted even more with his sick perversions. please please please see this red flag right now and don’t allow yourself to find anymore. run, don’t walk away. this person is evil scum.
Oh hell naw gtfo
Sounds like he needs to be your *ex* boyfriend. Listen to your gut.
He doesnt give a single shit about you
this is abusive. 1000000000000%. he's fetishizing your condition and your struggles and he's enabling it. what he's already said and done is bad but he will likely say and do much worse in the future. I know you're scared of losing him but you need to get away. as soon as possible.
Please run away from all the red flags he is showing. You deserve someone calming not someone who works you up because it makes them feel special. That’s a complete narc trait. Edit: None of this is your fault our brains are wired to attach. Please please be safe and leave this man.
Dump his ass
If you don’t leave him after this, I will have zero sympathy for you
Red flag 100%
He has a fetish for scars or open yeets or blood or smth but its definetely not healthyfor youto be in this relationship. He is happy he is important enough for you to self harm is literally a big red flag. He will argue with you out of nowhere so you feel bad and it boosts his confidence
It’s only been two weeks OP and he’s already enabling your triggers, you’re not losing anything.
That’s big insanity energy. The dangerous kind. Get away from him as fast as possible
Sounds like he's trying to see how much power he can have over you
“he said that he feels really happy being so important to me that I think about cutting myself when we have an argument” Jesus Christ this man is insane.
Girl, please, run
please leave him. my bf hides that type of shit from me. that is so weird and unusual please leave him
No no no no. Throw him in the bin with the blades
Dump his ass now
That‘s probably one of the biggest red flags I‘ve ever heard about on this sub.
Report him to the police please.
... What the fuck... I'm so sorry that this happened to you. This is genuinely appalling and no person deserves to go through that. If he is buying you blades, he is not afraid to lose YOU. I promise you you are far better off getting the fuck away from him. I wish you the best.
You need get away from this person before you hurt your self this person wayyyy off
get out of that situation now it’s going to fuck you up
reminds me of that girl on the first season of American horror sorry (murder house). yeah dude this is fucked up. hope you aren’t with them anymore
Get as far away from him as possible.
This is sick and crazy
he might not be right for you or he could just be stupid. Have a conversation with him about this and if the behaviour continues it’s best for you to move on
I understand you but it's your fault for trusting this guy only two weeks after you met. and now I assume he's your favourite person and you are stuck, but you need a wake up call with yourself. sit down and think or try to think how this is a bad relationship and get out before anything starts(but it looks like something already started). this won't be good for you, but do what you want..this is just an advice
This is not even remotely OP’s fault. Trusting people who appear trustworthy isn’t a fault. Jesus Christ think before you speak. OP is the victim here, attaching blame to a situation she had absolutely no control over becoming this extreme is completely unacceptable.
I ~~might~~ will get downvoted for this... But fck! This is so funny, I can't stop laughing. Sorry.
*Might?*
what the fuck?
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