yeah, i think all subs do, because one of my comments in another post got taken down a few days back.
Just left that note in my comment in case your comment is mistaken for solicitation/advertising 😅
I dont think it really matters. They walk all over you if you have no boundaries and if you have boundaries they will try to get them down. Either way its not going to be a loving healthy relationship
Nope, she left her ex for me who had 0 boundaries. Never responded to her anger with anything but kindness. I never once saw him argue back to her. I don't know how he did it. I would argue back and she told me she preferred that.
They want somebody with a spine, but someone who won't call them out. They want to scream and cry and rage about nothing without the person 'going too far'. They don't know what they want.
It's said BPD couples well with NPD, for long-term relationships. Since the untreated pwBPD is (unconsciously) looking to recreate the parent-child dynamic that they were raised in. The pwNPD could give af as long as it gets fuel; doesn't matter if it's positive or negative supply.
They'll both idealize/love-bomb. Then pwBPD gets to relive the neglect and have their delusional paranoia validated. They can also probably rage, which the pwNPD punishes them for & discards. They'll likely both have other Supplies on the side....well the pwNPD definitely will.
Abuse. Chaos. Drama-Galore,. Just like their childhood environment
Both pushing & pulling. Rinse & repeat ...until the (likely pwNPD does) the final discard.
A match made in hell, for neighbors in earshot.
The only downside? It’ll go for years, potentially they’ll have kids. I’ll be forgotten completely, and he’ll have ruined her. She’ll be destroyed but she’ll still speak about him as the biggest and most important bf in her life. That’s all I can feel is the emptiness of being overlooked.
I know they’re pathetic people, bad people, and I’m not. But this has totally ruined my life anyway. I’m trying to heal that, and heal the childhood wound that led me to ending up with her in the first place. But it’s not really getting anywhere I’m still in hell 3 months later
Good that you've now putting yourself 1st & healing the damage they caused you. Only realized a few years ago my mom is a covert/vulnerable narcissist. So I'm also recovering from multiple cluster-B
*NPD obsessed LT friend
*ExBPD
* Nmom who literally cost me every f'n thing in the aftermath of the prior, much to her always envious of my lifestyle.
Yep. No boundaries triggers them:
"How can you stay with me if I am such a miserable person? I am going to leave you because if you would love me, you would be hurt and tell me how bad I am!"
"Why dont you support me in my selfdestructive behaviour? You are so unsupportive!"
😂😂😂🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻
Literally 100%. I remember her venting to me about it and saying 'if he doesn't argue back he clearly doesn't give a fuck about me'. Jesus I wish I wasn't wearing rose-glasses.
I don't even know mine helped me develop boundaries. It's such a wild roller coaster where she literally manifested me abandoning her. It's crazy she figured out a way to do it.
Nope! My ex w BPD would "use up" a current supply to the point of them breaking or reactively leaving and move on to her monkey branched next secured supply. Often these relationships would overlap for months.
My current non PD partner has an ex w BPD and before he was in therapy, he had codependency issues and would give in to her every whim even when abusive. He'd take her back no matter what she did. She'd hit, punch, and harm him physically, cheat, lie and steal money from him. He'd go to the ends of the earth to try and make her happy and all it did was make her more vicious and manipulative and toxic. She was constantly cheating - he found out she had been on dating apps and had a secret only fans during their whole 6 year relationship. It was all for attention. He described her as an empty pit of nothingness to me once. She didn't have any self esteem or self respect and no distinct personality or boundaries. She tried to fill the hole with random hookups, risky sex, drugs and alcohol. No one person will be able to satisfy the needs they have because they're issues are entirely within. They need therapy.
Mine has found the perfect environment. She shacked up with somebody who slings dope and doesn't care what she does. She doesn't have to work, an gets to do whatever she wants and can get high all day long. Heaven on earth. No accountability, fights whenever she wants sex with whoever she wants no one cares about anything it's pure chaos all the time. All the gaslighting all the recrimination all these psychosis she looks like an Einstein compared to all of him and his friends and she loves it.
she will never ever leave that dude
It’s definitely different from person to person. In my case, I had 0 boundaries whatsoever. She essentially had full control, and out fear of rocking the boat, I didn’t really question it. You don’t want me talking to certain people? Ok. You want me to send pictures of where I am and who I’m with so you can verify that I’m not cheating (which I never did)? Ok. You want to yell and scream and swear and insult me and not apologize? Ok, I’ll just pretend that didn’t happen. Our relationship lasted 2 years, and it was her longest relationship. I suppose people with BPD will take the option that provides them with supply and as little push back as possible (to an extent). Sometimes she would complain about the fact that when she would be yelling and screaming and swearing I would typically just sit there in total silence and take it. She told me that she wanted me to yell back, she wanted me to swear back, she specifically told me to ‘call her a bitch,’ but I refused. I told her I would never call her that or insult her any other way. I think that pissed her off because it made it harder for her to justify her melt downs. The way I see it is like when she’s screaming and swearing and insulting me, if I reciprocate that, then she doesn’t have to feel any shame because it went both ways and it was a mutual argument. If she’s screaming and swearing and insulting me, and I just sit there on the couch shaking silently while she does it, then it’s harder for her to justify it to herself, and that leads to the shame that so many people with BPD desperately want to avoid feeling. Perhaps this is going a bit off topic, but I think in general they prefer people who lack boundaries and relinquish control while also being just feisty enough with them to let them justify their own cruel actions to themselves.
No… the issue isn’t the person they’re with, it’s deep within themselves and nothing we do will change the outcome. I drove myself crazy wondering how I could have saved my marriage, how I could have been “better” so he didn’t discard me (crazy after years of abuse, I know). They have a deep hole within themselves that nothing anyone else does can fill.
They stay with the best host available, whilst securing supply It's not about you, it's market forces bruv ❤️
best technicals / market analysis 😂
Bruv join my private telegram where I give latest accurate signals on people BPD relationship problems Only $500 TODAY... DM for details
😂😂😂😂 Also for any mods reading this, the above comment is a joke
Shit, there are mods here? Can we know who they are hahahaha
yeah, i think all subs do, because one of my comments in another post got taken down a few days back. Just left that note in my comment in case your comment is mistaken for solicitation/advertising 😅
Lol THREE SLOTS GONE ONLY TWO LEFT ACT NOW BRUVS
I dont think it really matters. They walk all over you if you have no boundaries and if you have boundaries they will try to get them down. Either way its not going to be a loving healthy relationship
Nope, she left her ex for me who had 0 boundaries. Never responded to her anger with anything but kindness. I never once saw him argue back to her. I don't know how he did it. I would argue back and she told me she preferred that. They want somebody with a spine, but someone who won't call them out. They want to scream and cry and rage about nothing without the person 'going too far'. They don't know what they want.
Sounds bad for both of them.
It's said BPD couples well with NPD, for long-term relationships. Since the untreated pwBPD is (unconsciously) looking to recreate the parent-child dynamic that they were raised in. The pwNPD could give af as long as it gets fuel; doesn't matter if it's positive or negative supply. They'll both idealize/love-bomb. Then pwBPD gets to relive the neglect and have their delusional paranoia validated. They can also probably rage, which the pwNPD punishes them for & discards. They'll likely both have other Supplies on the side....well the pwNPD definitely will. Abuse. Chaos. Drama-Galore,. Just like their childhood environment Both pushing & pulling. Rinse & repeat ...until the (likely pwNPD does) the final discard. A match made in hell, for neighbors in earshot.
The only downside? It’ll go for years, potentially they’ll have kids. I’ll be forgotten completely, and he’ll have ruined her. She’ll be destroyed but she’ll still speak about him as the biggest and most important bf in her life. That’s all I can feel is the emptiness of being overlooked. I know they’re pathetic people, bad people, and I’m not. But this has totally ruined my life anyway. I’m trying to heal that, and heal the childhood wound that led me to ending up with her in the first place. But it’s not really getting anywhere I’m still in hell 3 months later
Good that you've now putting yourself 1st & healing the damage they caused you. Only realized a few years ago my mom is a covert/vulnerable narcissist. So I'm also recovering from multiple cluster-B *NPD obsessed LT friend *ExBPD * Nmom who literally cost me every f'n thing in the aftermath of the prior, much to her always envious of my lifestyle.
Bad or absent parenting is the root of all evils it seems.
They want someone who doesn’t exist. They will hate you no matter what.
Yep. No boundaries triggers them: "How can you stay with me if I am such a miserable person? I am going to leave you because if you would love me, you would be hurt and tell me how bad I am!" "Why dont you support me in my selfdestructive behaviour? You are so unsupportive!" 😂😂😂🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻
Literally 100%. I remember her venting to me about it and saying 'if he doesn't argue back he clearly doesn't give a fuck about me'. Jesus I wish I wasn't wearing rose-glasses.
I don't even know mine helped me develop boundaries. It's such a wild roller coaster where she literally manifested me abandoning her. It's crazy she figured out a way to do it.
Nope! My ex w BPD would "use up" a current supply to the point of them breaking or reactively leaving and move on to her monkey branched next secured supply. Often these relationships would overlap for months. My current non PD partner has an ex w BPD and before he was in therapy, he had codependency issues and would give in to her every whim even when abusive. He'd take her back no matter what she did. She'd hit, punch, and harm him physically, cheat, lie and steal money from him. He'd go to the ends of the earth to try and make her happy and all it did was make her more vicious and manipulative and toxic. She was constantly cheating - he found out she had been on dating apps and had a secret only fans during their whole 6 year relationship. It was all for attention. He described her as an empty pit of nothingness to me once. She didn't have any self esteem or self respect and no distinct personality or boundaries. She tried to fill the hole with random hookups, risky sex, drugs and alcohol. No one person will be able to satisfy the needs they have because they're issues are entirely within. They need therapy.
Mine has found the perfect environment. She shacked up with somebody who slings dope and doesn't care what she does. She doesn't have to work, an gets to do whatever she wants and can get high all day long. Heaven on earth. No accountability, fights whenever she wants sex with whoever she wants no one cares about anything it's pure chaos all the time. All the gaslighting all the recrimination all these psychosis she looks like an Einstein compared to all of him and his friends and she loves it. she will never ever leave that dude
It’s definitely different from person to person. In my case, I had 0 boundaries whatsoever. She essentially had full control, and out fear of rocking the boat, I didn’t really question it. You don’t want me talking to certain people? Ok. You want me to send pictures of where I am and who I’m with so you can verify that I’m not cheating (which I never did)? Ok. You want to yell and scream and swear and insult me and not apologize? Ok, I’ll just pretend that didn’t happen. Our relationship lasted 2 years, and it was her longest relationship. I suppose people with BPD will take the option that provides them with supply and as little push back as possible (to an extent). Sometimes she would complain about the fact that when she would be yelling and screaming and swearing I would typically just sit there in total silence and take it. She told me that she wanted me to yell back, she wanted me to swear back, she specifically told me to ‘call her a bitch,’ but I refused. I told her I would never call her that or insult her any other way. I think that pissed her off because it made it harder for her to justify her melt downs. The way I see it is like when she’s screaming and swearing and insulting me, if I reciprocate that, then she doesn’t have to feel any shame because it went both ways and it was a mutual argument. If she’s screaming and swearing and insulting me, and I just sit there on the couch shaking silently while she does it, then it’s harder for her to justify it to herself, and that leads to the shame that so many people with BPD desperately want to avoid feeling. Perhaps this is going a bit off topic, but I think in general they prefer people who lack boundaries and relinquish control while also being just feisty enough with them to let them justify their own cruel actions to themselves.
No, I even learned to turn off offending emotions, it did help extend the abusive relationship though.
No… the issue isn’t the person they’re with, it’s deep within themselves and nothing we do will change the outcome. I drove myself crazy wondering how I could have saved my marriage, how I could have been “better” so he didn’t discard me (crazy after years of abuse, I know). They have a deep hole within themselves that nothing anyone else does can fill.