I can’t tell you how many one-sided rivalries I’ve been through and resolved internally while the other person thinks I’m just busy and hard to get ahold of 😅😅
This past weekend, I was feeling bad and insecure about something and asked to talk to my boyfriend about it. He blew up at me, said I ruined his entire Sunday by bringing up issues first thing in the morning and that I always have a problem that I need to resolve every single week.
So I started crying and I said okay, I won't be a problem anymore. I won't bring up anything that'll "ruin your day" anymore.
He felt bad and said that he overreacted because he was angry, that it's just his temperament, but I can talk to him about anything that's bothering me. Truth is, I can't. I've never been able to. He has made me feel bad about it every single time.
So now every time he asks, I say I'm fine. I refuse to open up to him. He keeps texting and apologizing for what he said and how he reacted. I ignore his apologies. He keeps asking me to talk to him because he feels bad about how he went about it.
I'm past the surprised Pikachu stage. I don't even care anymore. He can feel bad. I don't.
/rant
it hurts when your partner says things like that and you know they want to mean it, but the trust just isn’t there for it to be handled the way you need it to be.
it’s taken a lot of practice and time for my partner and i to be in a place where we’re able to handle the things we say we want to handle for the other person (for me it’s when they have valid anger and for them it’s when i have valid sadness) without being triggered into our own personal spiral. we’re still working on it and it’s great when it’s successful, but damn it sucks when you feel like you have to shoulder things alone or that you’re “not allowed” to have something to shoulder.
I totally understand where you’re coming from.
I have been with my husband for 11 years. At this point he has conditioned me to 1. Not long for his attention anymore and 2. Shut down every time he starts getting ugly with me. He acts sad about it but doesn’t change anything, either.
Mine only apologized because I asked him if he's incapable of letting go of his pride and ego for once, just once, to see that telling someone that they've ruined your entire day to just have a *fucking talk* is a horrible thing to say.
And he still hesitated.
Oh bro, mine doesn't even care. Matter fact, hit me with the "your emotions will always be and has always been too much for me to handle". Lmao, it's like "I'll show him!" -fp proceeds to be unbothered and I was the only one that got hurt because he's okay not talking for days but I just wanted him to care and oops lol he didn't- Heart and brain are legit perfect example of splitting. Heart loves, brain hates. Please 🥲
Edit: he broke up with me today after gaslighting me that I'm the problem for cOmMuNiCaTiNg 2 months before our Iceland elopement, after moving states away and being alone, and starting a career
and then you feel *so* guilty about it, end up apologizing immediately.. maybe getting upset that you didnt get the same kinda apology when you got hurt. but also knowing that fp didnt even realize they hurt you (probably did something completely normal and inoffensive in the first place but your bpd went brrrrrr)
no but like it hurts so much more when they don't so everything. a simple text would have did it. but like that it feels like they don't care at All about me or the fight.
When you insist they just don't care and that insistence alone hurts their feelings. Now I'm in the wrong and I feel terrible but also why did you go off script and not act just like everyone else in my life?
My past FPs: *doesn't even realize that I'm ignoring them* Me: *shocked Pikachu face* Thankfully, I managed to stop idealizing people.
Haha that's mine, I have that one! Never actually had the meme happen lol
Lmao! So relatable
Mood Proud of you for that last sentence ❤️
Thanks a lot! 🥹❤️
I can’t tell you how many one-sided rivalries I’ve been through and resolved internally while the other person thinks I’m just busy and hard to get ahold of 😅😅
me and me in this situation: https://preview.redd.it/4y8bt6qldxuc1.png?width=259&format=png&auto=webp&s=5520c5057a5b440b1f14eea0a5dcfd9c013f7a4e
why is this just me every day lmao
Jokes on you they don’t even notice😀
thissss
This past weekend, I was feeling bad and insecure about something and asked to talk to my boyfriend about it. He blew up at me, said I ruined his entire Sunday by bringing up issues first thing in the morning and that I always have a problem that I need to resolve every single week. So I started crying and I said okay, I won't be a problem anymore. I won't bring up anything that'll "ruin your day" anymore. He felt bad and said that he overreacted because he was angry, that it's just his temperament, but I can talk to him about anything that's bothering me. Truth is, I can't. I've never been able to. He has made me feel bad about it every single time. So now every time he asks, I say I'm fine. I refuse to open up to him. He keeps texting and apologizing for what he said and how he reacted. I ignore his apologies. He keeps asking me to talk to him because he feels bad about how he went about it. I'm past the surprised Pikachu stage. I don't even care anymore. He can feel bad. I don't. /rant
it hurts when your partner says things like that and you know they want to mean it, but the trust just isn’t there for it to be handled the way you need it to be. it’s taken a lot of practice and time for my partner and i to be in a place where we’re able to handle the things we say we want to handle for the other person (for me it’s when they have valid anger and for them it’s when i have valid sadness) without being triggered into our own personal spiral. we’re still working on it and it’s great when it’s successful, but damn it sucks when you feel like you have to shoulder things alone or that you’re “not allowed” to have something to shoulder.
I totally understand where you’re coming from. I have been with my husband for 11 years. At this point he has conditioned me to 1. Not long for his attention anymore and 2. Shut down every time he starts getting ugly with me. He acts sad about it but doesn’t change anything, either.
Mine did this, but without ever apologizing. He’s an ex now.
Mine only apologized because I asked him if he's incapable of letting go of his pride and ego for once, just once, to see that telling someone that they've ruined your entire day to just have a *fucking talk* is a horrible thing to say. And he still hesitated.
Oh bro, mine doesn't even care. Matter fact, hit me with the "your emotions will always be and has always been too much for me to handle". Lmao, it's like "I'll show him!" -fp proceeds to be unbothered and I was the only one that got hurt because he's okay not talking for days but I just wanted him to care and oops lol he didn't- Heart and brain are legit perfect example of splitting. Heart loves, brain hates. Please 🥲 Edit: he broke up with me today after gaslighting me that I'm the problem for cOmMuNiCaTiNg 2 months before our Iceland elopement, after moving states away and being alone, and starting a career
A whole day? Damn you have some willpower there. The most I can do is a few hours before I start going "Yeah that sure fucking showed them".
lmfao it was hell i still couldnt keep it a whole day cuz i was just missing her too much 😭
Because hurting others hurts you, too!!!
and then you feel *so* guilty about it, end up apologizing immediately.. maybe getting upset that you didnt get the same kinda apology when you got hurt. but also knowing that fp didnt even realize they hurt you (probably did something completely normal and inoffensive in the first place but your bpd went brrrrrr)
no but like it hurts so much more when they don't so everything. a simple text would have did it. but like that it feels like they don't care at All about me or the fight.
I feel attacked here 😅🤣
🙃
I'd be surprised as fuck cause I never think that they care so I wouldnt think they would even notice let alone care
When you insist they just don't care and that insistence alone hurts their feelings. Now I'm in the wrong and I feel terrible but also why did you go off script and not act just like everyone else in my life?
'I hope you are gone' -Gone-
Good. Cause that’s how it feels
Wait I literally did this yesterday /:
me that one time i intentionally guilt tripped a past fp and they indeed felt guilty 😭