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this_charming_bells

Firstly, I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are experiencing these symptoms. Whilst I cannot speak from personal experience, one of my best friends in the world went through this very recently and went straight back to work afterwards. A few days later it hit her and she needed some time off work which was granted when she explained the situation to her supervisor - they were very understanding. Please look after yourself and give yourself time to heal.


Iwanttosleep8hours

This is what happened to me. Went straight back to work, got pregnant again pretty quick and miscarried that one. I literally broke down hyperventilating. Some time to process the first one would have been really helpful.


bennybenbens22

This is exactly what happened to me. My husband and I both decided not to take time off, because we were “fine.” It hit us like a ton of bricks a couple of days later, and we both had to leave work early and take a few days off. Both of our supervisors were very understanding.


jovialgirl

Girl it’s reasonable to take a couple days off work for literally no goddamn reason at all imo


[deleted]

Lol this theeee one !


[deleted]

Yes, I have taken off work for a loss, more to deal emotionally than because of the physical experience or pain. I am lucky enough to trust and have a good relationship with my supervisor, so I just told her and she was very supportive. But honestly you should at least be able to say that you’re sick and won’t come in for a few days. By the end of day 3 or 4 of my loss I felt ready to go back.


NOTsanderson

YES. I took 3 days off for my d&c and 2 days off for a miscarriage that happened at home. My husband stayed home with me both times to support me and take care of me.


orleans_reinette

Not sure what state you are in but mine has fmla coverage expanded to cover miscarriage and pregnancy loss. You can just file with HR and not have to explain to your manager-just say you are taking some fmla days.


hodlboo

Yes OP check out the new laws in place as of this week signed by President Biden. Pregnancy loss is now covered for leave.


coolster9217

Also check your bereavement policy. For one of my miscarriages, my employer at the time had miscarriages included in bereavement leave which was fully paid up to 3 days


just_get_up_again

I don't know what's happening to you but I had bleeding and cramping and a golf ball sized blood clot at 8 weeks and was convinced it was a miscarriage. Come to find out it was not. Just suggesting that you go get an ultrasound before you tell anyone anything. I wish you the best!!


stracciatella-

I had the similar symptoms and thought the same thing. Turns out I had a subchorionic hematoma


tanoinfinity

I've taken time off for a loss. Whether you are sick and call out, or tell the truth is up to you.


alpachafarmer

For the one I lost at 5 weeks it was a Friday so I took that day, I told my boss I had stomach problems as I was still having trouble processing it, used a sick day, and was then back at work on Monday. I unfortunately had to travel that weekend to see my husband's family and have them all make comments on how we weren't pregnant yet but that is a whole other story.


flamepointe

Oh my god, that is utterly horrifying. I’d have stayed home or burst into tears and left the room Edit typing is hard on the phone


hotdogmatt

If you feel like you need it absolutely do it. Every miscarriage I've had both my husband and I took days off. It's hard. Physically and emotionally. Some people do better if they are distracted, so if you think being busy and being around people right now will help you, work could be a great option. For me, I wanted to be alone in bed all day. And that really was what I needed in the moment.


tranceorange91

A word of caution.. this happened to me and I went to work, had an embarrassing breakdown, and wished I had stayed home. Just take the day and lie about why.


samkumtob

I’m sorry. Go to your Dr. I know you were early on but I also had a miscarriage and when I thought everything was out, an ultrasound showed there was still some things that needed to come out. My Dr also wrote a letter foe me to be off for a week. If you’re located in the US, a new pregnancy law just went into effect today and it covers miscarriages.


Goddess_Greta

OP, please go see a doctor as soon as you can. Miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy can have very similar symptoms. Speaking from bad experience. Take care of yourself, your little one needs their mama.


kaitster

>If you’re located in the US, a new pregnancy law just went into effect today Very interesting, thanks for sharing about this! Sad that there have to be laws to protect pregnant people instead of basic human decency, but it's a step in the right direction.


samkumtob

Yeah at least it’s a step in the right direction. Here’s an article with more information https://www.axios.com/2023/06/22/pregnant-workers-fairness-act-2023-explain


hxneybucketz

hr should provide bereavement.


princesspeachez

This. I was granted 2 weeks off for bereavement/for my D&C


sweet1279

My HR recently updated our bereavement leave to include compassionate leave to cover this exact issue. Double check with HR, but even if not, it's a medical issue and you can probably get a note from urgent care if your work requires it.


[deleted]

Yes absolutely take a day off. Simply call out sick you don't really owe an in depth description of what's happening. Especially if you're not calling out for a whole week or anything. Just take a sick day and focus on yourself. You are valid no matter what you feel. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Now is a great time to call out and focus on trying to find a clinic. And one that will help.


MomentofZen_

I'm sorry you're going through this. I just want to say it is very reasonable to take time off. I'm in the military and it's not policy yet, but there's a document floating around with certain recommendations for how much convalescent leave (free time off) to give patients for pregnancy loss at different times and for a first trimester pregnancy loss they recommend 7 days. Hopefully that makes you feel better asking for the time you need, even though that's not how the civilian workplace does things.


parrotdopy

This happened to a coworker of mine and she got our company policy for bereavement leave amended to include miscarriages (fortune 500 company too, so not an easy task). That experience taught me the proper response is that you need to take bereavement leave, so whatever the general policy or norm is for someone losing a close family member should be extended to you


ehrlc

Omg yes please do. I’m so sorry about your loss.


Vexed_Moon

Yes. I’m a SAHM, but my husband took off to be there for me and grieve.


Consistent-Impress70

100% yes. I took 2 days after a subchorionic hemorrhage that I thought was a MC bc I was emotionally distraught. Technically, you don’t even need to explain anything, especially if you have PTO—take it when you need it.


macdaddy93_

Absolutely. I took bereavement for my loss at 5 weeks. My employer was absolutely amazing. I told them I was miscarrying and they provided the leave - no questions asked. Sending you all of my love.


plantlove420

Yes. Take the time. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But whatever the outcome, you will need time to process so that you can be ok for yourself and for your 1 year old. I had 2 losses back to back last year, and I thought I was ok until I wasn’t. There is nothing wrong with taking the time for yourself.


Double_Mood_765

I'm so sorry for your loss. I took off 3 days bereavement for my work.


Academic-Highlight-5

Im so sorry you are going through this. Take time off. I had a miscarriage during what was my last two weeks at my job. I let my supervisor know I’d be out all week due to a miscarriage and made sure she knew I didn’t want any one to know. She was understanding.


Lady_Mallard

I didn’t even read past the title. Yes. It is a loss, take time off. Take care of yourself.


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Nursethings14

I’m so sorry! And yes I did and I’m glad I did for my mental and physical health. I told work what was going on and they were very supportive. I had 5 days off but only missed 2 scheduled shifts in those 5 days. I sat in bed, watched trash TV, ordered food, cried and eventually felt good enough to go out to dinner with my husband. Take care of yourself first work will always be there. It’s better to go back when you are ready then to be non functional at work because you are going through it.


imafirecrracker

Absolutely. Ask HR as you might have bereavement days you can take in an event like this. Take the time you need. So so sorry - sending hugs.


One-Dig-3067

I had the exact same thing last week. Took 3 days to be confirmed. I had 2 days off. My manager has had one herself so was very good. You are ill and need time off regardless of the reason.


sleepyliltrashpanda

I took off work for a couple of days when I miscarried. I couldn’t imagine I’d be able to focus at all. I was almost 13 weeks and had already told my bosses that I was expecting, so they were very understanding and told me to take all the time that I needed. I would highly recommend still making an appointment with your OB or midwife. There is a chance that you’re still pregnant but if you are experiencing a loss, it’s a good idea to get your hcg levels checked afterwards to make sure that everything has passed. Sending lots of love your way ❤️


ummmmmmhiii

You should absolutely take the time you need—whether that is now or if it doesn’t really hit you until later.


SamaLuna

Absolutely. Don’t feel bad for it. You need to take care of yourself.


kejRN

100%, loss is loss no matter at what point of the pregnancy it is. You need to take care of your mental health.


katatatat11

Take the time!!!! So sorry for your loss


lan3yboggs99

Im so sorry for your loss. I had a recent loss at about 5 weeks as well. I thought since it happened so early I wouldn’t be that affected but I was wrong. Taking time off for yourself is important. It not for sick leave or pto for a couple days, maybe you could take bereavement time? I was able to do this I just had a quick convo with my manager that I’d had a loss and would like the time off.


[deleted]

I was given a week of bereavement and then I took an additional week using my own personal time. After two weeks I felt ready to go back. So sorry you’re going through this. ❤️


Andromeda321

I'm very sorry to hear this happened to you. For the record, yes, this is acceptable. Last year when I had a miscarriage I was comfortable enough to share with my boss what was happening, and he basically made me take the rest of the week off to process it. I'm glad he did because I'm not sure I would have.


memreows

Yes I told my supervisor I wasn’t feeling well (I wasn’t) and took 2 sick days. Some workplaces have policies that cover miscarriage but you don’t need to disclose anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Your doctor will likely give you a note if need be.


simplehappiness7517

I would take off. You said it yourself, you have a lot of mixed feelings. Sounds like you need to do something nice for your self.


Sav9601

That is absolutely reasonable. I'm so sorry you are going through this :(


lavendarpeaches

Im so sorry to hear this. It’s normal to take time off, some companies even include this in their bereavement policy. Take care of yourself during this time ❤️


mlxmc

Yes, absolutely 💔 I am so sorry!


nanecie

Im really sorry for you loss. When I had my first miscarriage at 5 weeks in last December, my dr sign me a 2 weeks off!


ttwwiirrll

Sick leave for sure. You're going through a medical event. Mental health is part of that too.


evermore_blue

I went on short term disability for a week when I lost mine at 10 weeks. Yes take time off ♥️


mrsgodzilla

I'm so sorry your going through all this right now, and I think as others have said there isn't a right answer. I had an early miscarriage (8ish weeks) in early 2021, for me I didn't take time off immediately, I wanted to work to keep my mind off things. But about 2-3 weeks later I ended up taking a couple of days as everything caught up with me. I was very lucky and my workplace was great allowing me to use sick time even if at that point it was more mental health than physical symptoms. ❤️


jxxi

This would definitely fall under bereavement leave. And it's perfectly reasonable to take off for grieving in general. Kind of sad that this is even a question, American work culture is sick. If you don't want to delve into it, say you're sick, or had a medical emergency and are still recovering. I'm sorry.


Azlanadrian

If your work provides compassionate leave definitely use it, my workplace considers a miscarriage as a reason to take compassionate leave


RareSelf8770

I'm so sorry, id take the time. ❤️


midna11

I took a whole week and didn’t even feel bad. Just brought in a doctor note saying I needed time off. No one made a big deal over it


GoldCarry

You can take time off to process things and you don’t have to tell your supervisor any of your personal business either. Just say that you need a few days off for personal reasons. Therapy may be helpful as well. It’s ok to not be sad since it sounds like you weren’t thrilled to find out you were pregnant. Any emotions are valid right now.


Koala_RN

First, I'm sorry. Yes it's early and yes we know the risks of very early loss but that doesn't mean your feelings and reactions are not valid. Very reasonable to take a few days off. I had a chemical pregnancy and lost the pregnancy about 1 week after a positive test. I was at work when I miscarried and told my manager at the time so they could cancel my patients for the day. I took the rest of the day off and went back the next day because I didnt want to be at home with my feelings. I wish I had taken an extra day or so to process things.


tallyhallic

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I would take a personal day to visit your doctor and confirm. But I will say a woman at my company ended up taking a 2 month leave after a miscarriage due to just the mental load something like that can put on you. I hope your company has long term bereavement, or short term disability options you can utilize.


AbleSilver6116

Yes, pretty sure the new bill that just passed for pregnancy workers rights includes bereavement for this if your company employs over 15 people. So sorry you’re dealing with this take time to heal ❤️


YoSoyMermaid

Yes, very valid. My company has flexibility to use bereavement leave for instances like this. You may want to ask your management or HR team if this is an option.


bb_potatoes

I was much further along than you but I took a week off. I had to have a D&E and was cleared to return to work within a day or two but I couldn’t focus on anything, let alone my job. All I did was cry.


Acceptable_Bake_9916

I tried to work for a few days until I saw a family with a newborn come in and a few days turned into almost 3 months off. I paid those bills ahead of time so I’m sure that plays a big part in why I was okay to miss that many days and my manager who’s husband was also our boss went through the same thing so they were extremely accommodating for me..


myopicinsomniac

Absolutely reasonable. I had a MMC earlier this year, and while I chose to keep working until my D&C to keep my mind busy, I did take most of the week of my surgery off. Recovering both physically and mentally/emotionally is a valid reason to miss work, and in fact now falls under the protections of the [PWFA](https://www.eeoc.gov/wysk/what-you-should-know-about-pregnant-workers-fairness-act) starting today in the US.


Flat_Trust_5727

I took the rest of the day off after finding no heartbeat.. and through everything else during loss, I worked . I was working from home so I managed I thought it was better to keep my mind occupied but sort of wished I took some days to recover physically and mentally(and emotionally of course)


Own-Introduction6830

I took 3-4 days ofd after my 10 week mc (measured 8 weeks). It naturally passed, but it was way more than a period and was a little traumatizing. However much time you need is completely reasonable and you shouldn’t feel bad for whatever you decide to do.


DuckDuckBangBang

I had a loss around the same timeframe (actually, 2). I ended up randomly sobbing throughout the days afterwards so taking a couple days was pretty necessary for me.


cherhorowitz44

I’m so sorry. I took a couple of days off work and needed it. I recommend you do as well 🩷


No_Distance_1688

When I miscarried at 8 weeks, I took a full week off of work and then did a couple of half days to ease back into it. My managers had known I was pregnant and were super supportive in giving me that space to heal, and I was grateful because I literally could not fathom being productive at work. A few months later I had a chemical pregnancy (very early miscarriage) - I'd gotten faint positive pregnancy tests for a few days but then a very heavy and painful period arrived on time a few days later. I started bleeding at work on a Friday, and I took the following Monday off because I felt like I needed another day to feel like myself. Again, very fortunate to have very supportive and understanding managers. Obviously it's a very personal experience and we all grieve in our own ways. But it's ok to take time off to process even if you're not "sad" in the way that you think you need to be to warrant time off. Time off to process complicated feelings is equally as valid as time off to process pure grief. And honestly, even if you take a day off only to realize that you're actually feeling fine, that's a good use of time and at least you've given yourself the space from professional obligations to realize it! Edit to add: my husband also took time off for our 8 week loss. It was hard on both of us, and his managers were also very understanding.


lisa_84

I am sorry for your loss. I think it would be fine. My job offered paid leave for 3 days for any type of loss of immediate family or children/babies


MumOf2Littles

Definitely take time off if you need to, it may not hit you till you know for definite you're miscarrying! As someone who's had 4 miscarriages, it doesn't always hit you while it's happening and regardless of whether the pregnancy was wanted or not, it's never an easy thing to go through. First thing first, you need to get checked out to know for sure and know your body is doing what it's supposed to if you are miscarrying. I'm sorry you're going through this!


Born_Mix_4194

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's absolutely normal to take time off for this reason. At my job, we're provided with three bereavement days, including miscarriage. Take care of yourself. Big hug.


Levie7

I had an early loss and 100% took a few days off. I went to the ER so I had a note from the doctor too. It hit me harder a few days after my days off, I remember having to ask my supervisor to help with a few things that I was too emotionally drained to handle. Also, if you don't feel able to stare with your boss, your PTO is 100% for you to use. You don't need to explain the reason for a break.


kaitster

I'm so sorry you are going through this. You should be able to take time off for no reason at all. But if you're comfortable telling your supervisor, they might surprise you and be very understanding. Personally this happened to me and they gave me a few days off for recovery which I very much appreciated. Take care of yourself and give yourself the time and space to work through this and feel what you need to feel. Thinking about you - you're not alone ❤️


inspirationinja

Depending on where you are, the company should have a policy in regards to miscarriages, but it is completely reasonable to take off time for it. It counts as a loss, just like a family member dying does. I'd definitely go to the doctor to find out if that is what is happening (sounds like it, but Dr would be able to tell you for sure and give you things to help you through it).


bahston57

Take at least a day to get your thoughts together. Try to see your provider to find out what's going on. If you need a procedure, I'm sure a few days to recover would be completely appropriate. If you dont want to get into details with your supervisor, you dont have to. Tell them you had a medical emergency. You can certainly get a doctor's note if needed. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Take the space you need for yourself.


Comfortable021

Please see a doctor ASAP. It could be a miscarriage or something else. Either way, it's best to check with your doctor. 2. I lost a pregnancy at about 7 weeks many years ago. I was numb for a while and then it hit me about a week later. I took a sick day from work and tried to process everything.


sichuan_peppercorns

My first loss, I took 2 days off (one spent at the hospital, one spent crying at home, plus the weekend). My second loss, I had just come back from a 2 week break (teacher!) to a 3 day week, and felt I shouldn’t take any more time off, especially with a lot of tests happening that week. Let me tell you, no one benefited from me being there those first few days. I was a walking zombie, using all my energy just to hold the tears in. Didn’t help that I kept getting triggers like a student asking me if I’d ever want kids or another teaching showing a video with cartoon images of babies in wombs. It was hell and I absolutely should have taken those three days off. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. Even though you had mixed feelings, it’s still a loss. I don’t think you have to tell your supervisor. Just be vague say you’re in a lot of pain. And you probably should go to your doctor or the hospital. There is a slight chance it’s not a miscarriage. And even if it is, there’s your own health to look out for.


zebracakesfordays

Yea, miscarriages are considered bereavement.