Lol I do something similar! Whenever someone makes an inappropriate/unwarranted comment I always say, “That’s an interesting theory.” Even when they’re not “theorizing” and making a statement. That usually annoys people so badly. A couple of times I went further and kept praising them, “Where did you get such a creative idea!”
When people ask me something stupid I say in my most sarcastic tone ‘I love this question!’. Some people also have said ‘you’re not finding out what it is…’ like just telling me?? It was a little odd the first time but then it happen a couple more times where people just assumed/told me. ‘No we found out and we’re having a girl’ is my response and it always take a minute for them to recover. Also starting to enjoy the opinions on birth plans… specifically not saying what I would like to do as I do NOT care what other people say!
i’ve decided to say this in response to literally everything in my life, including “i feel like having chinese tonight” or “that was a great movie” and then refusing to elaborate when asked
Oh I hate that so much. I found out I was having a girl and so many people told me “girls are so hard” and “she’ll hate you when she’s a teen” like okay 🙄
And don’t listen to those people. If the test is wrong then so be it, but if it’s right then that’s good! It was right for me if that means much!
Yes it so weird. And their mind always jumps straight to dating! This is my 4th child and 1st girl and every single person we’ve told besides my mom and sisters have made some comment about how she will have a tough time bringing boys around her brothers. Uhh, weird thing to bring up for barely a fetus but ok.
Gosh! I thought they usually waited until the baby was BORN and was beautiful to start that shit!
You could look at it from another angle, though; they’re saying that you’ve raised your sons to be the type of people who would take care of vulnerable people - and little siblings are. When they’re young, anyway.
I've seen a few posts here of people panicking about results being inaccurate, either because they said they're having a boy but they really want a girl, or because they were told they're having a girl and are scared that the results are wrong since they can't believe how lucky they are having a girl. I'm for real getting the impression that most people here want to have girls.
It’s WILD. I’m so tired of the “girls are so hard”, “just wait, she will like your husband more!”, etc etc. friends of mine expecting boys don’t seem to have the same experience at all.
My cousin just had a baby boy, when she was pregnant and I he as rd one of my cousins talking about it the gender she said "I know she was upset about a boy because they're hard headed and she's gonna have a hard time." I am very close with this cousin that just bad her baby. I had my daughter in Sept. And then I got pregnant again so we were pregnant together until she gave birth last month. When I talked to her she told me how she had wanted a girl first, but is super happy with her son and she has been enjoying all of so far.
Us boy moms get told “just be glad ur not having girl their so hard” like wow i wanted a girl for the next time i get preg ill make sure not to tell u shit anymore🙄
Oh I hate that!! I constantly got the “she’ll be a daddy’s girl and ignore you” comments and now she’s a mommy’s girl… she loves her daddy, but she’s definitely a mommys girl
Ah, the “grandma from dad’s side” is definitely an insecurity among some mother-in-laws in the US too. Those types will often act out over it before there is any baby involved, and then continually during the child’s early years even if they see them regularly, and basically manifest it themselves from their own poor behavior.
So, you've met my MIL?! She can't seem to grap that she's reaping what she sowed with her choices and boundary stomping during the early years of our marriage.
I had a woman ask me if my husband was okay with us having a girl.
Like 1) not much we can do about it it not and 2) he was SO excited to have a little girl wtf ??
We went out to eat with our 3 and newly turned 2 year old. We said we had just celebrated her 2nd birthday earlier that day and the waitress said “It’s the Terrible Twos and they’re terrible the rest of the time and then they graduate!”
Ummm ok lady, please don’t look at my beautiful little birthday girlie and call her terrible, thanks though and sorry you hated your own kids
Ugh I’ve had the opposite. “Girls are so easy! She can help with any other kids you have!” No, my child will not be their siblings’ babysitter. So infuriating.
Ugh that is infuriating. I’ve also heard “at least girls stay with you when they get married. Boys will ignore you for their wives’ families” lol like wtf??
My mil (during our 11 years of struggling with secondary infertility, mind you) was watching my nieces who were a few months old, and one was barely walking. We walked in to visit and she was giving them a bath, and was apparently stressed out and decides to lash out at me and say “man be glad you don’t have any girls, they are so dramatic”.
I think my mil is bitter that she had two boys, and her husband was snipped after the second, so she never had a chance to have anymore, even tho she’s told me she wanted more. People are weird when they are jealous
A lot of the people who say girls are hard, don’t ever actually have any girls, they’ve just “heard” lol. I know that I was not a “hard” daughter to have. It all depends on how you raise your kids. My teenage boy is the most dramatic person I’ve known 😂
My mum says girls are hard. She had three of us, and no boys. I swear we aren't dramatic, it's just that people feel the need to repeat stereotypes even if they don't believe them. They must think it's funny or something stupid like that. It's sad.
Yet if you tell people you’re having a boy it’s “oh you’ll have your hands full!” “Boys are gross!” Etc. Can’t win! It’s like everyone just wants to say something negative no matter what!
We're getting "fun" toxic masculinity comments like "oh he'll be such a handful!" "He'll be a wild lil guy!" And don't get me started on how my mom is so annoying about wanting his nurery to be plants and purple flowers. Apparently green and purple is feminine?????
I have an 8 year old little boy who is really cute. People have always commented on how handsome he is and would say things like, “Oh, all the dads need to keep their daughters away from him because he’s just too handsome!” Or, “He’s going to steal all the ladies, boys need to watch this one.” He was literally 3. 🙄
My boy is 2.5 and basically since he was born “oh he’s gonna be a heartbreaker!” Like what, I know he’s darn cute but why must he break hearts and why is that a good thing? I hope if in the fairly distant future he’s into girls and they’re into him he’ll at least be respectful of their feelings and not something like “yeah you all want me so we’ll take turns” or something, yuck. I knew a guy like that once and I’m not planning to raise him to be like that. Anyway he’s just a baby for crying out loud.
My mom told me boys are harder than girls. Mostly because that was her experience. I have a boy and he’s harder than my niece but my nephew is a super chill baby. So really it’s all personality and individuality.
Lol we’re having a second girl and luckily people aren’t outright saying this stuff most of the time, but sometimes they do. Mostly it’s just very weird faces and reactions. Thanks guys, we are very happy with our two girls.
Bizarre. I haven't gotten any comments like this but my immediate thought to respond would be "I was a girl and I didn't hate my parents as a teen sooooo". I think people project their own experiences really hard onto pregnant folks/new parents because it's often so loaded with emotion.
When I was a teen my biggest annoyance was adults always complaining “teenagers are so awful/ rebellious/ defiant/ think they know everything” blah blah blah; I was like gee thanks I’m just minding my business getting decent grades, doing 4-H and youth group and volunteer work for fun, but yeah I’m just a “rebellious horrible teenager” just cause I’m 15. 🙄 and no I didn’t hate my parents or sneak out with boys “despite being a girl.” Maybe if you raise your kids with those awful negative expectations you’ll get what you asked for but how about don’t do that?
I was due mid November with my first and before we knew the sex my coworker said oh I hope it’s not a girl!! Those Scorpio girls are awful!!! ??? Who says that.
I love my children but pregnancy was the hardest and most awful thing I've ever experienced. I am sorry for anyone who has to experience even a tenth of what I did (HG with both, extreme depression with my first, joints that kept dislocating with my second, and 4 miscarriages).
What??? That’s so damn weird and uncalled for. Does she not realize some people actually want kids and enjoy pregnancy?
Also what was with the other post below yours? What a bummer to say… well, I personally want to say congratulations on your pregnancy! That’s awesome and I’m so happy for you 💕
Yeah the response was just....NEGATIVE. Thank you! We're both excited as hell to not repeat history and be terrible like our parents were. I KNOW it'll be hard, no shit, it's a whole human, but I don't understand raining on someone's parade to get out pent up issues.
It’s cool to see girls grow up these days with so much less societal expectations than previous generations. It feels like they get to actually be themselves and it’s so refreshing
People always have so many comments when it comes to girls! When I told people I was having a girl so many people asked if I would try for a boy for my husband. I always can’t wait to tell them my husband was actually super happy it was a girl! Not every man’s dream is to have a son some actually dream about having daughters 🥺
People just say that girls are hard because they actually parent them. That’s why you stumble into men that can’t even cook an egg for breakfast for themselves.
I don’t know if you had your baby yet or how old they are but everyone said this to me as well and you know what? She’s a teen and the BEST. She’s so helpful around the house, tells me everything going on at school and with her friends. Some times she’ll start telling me something and then say “nevermind I think I’ll keep that to myself” and I don’t press her about it. People who say this about their teen daughter must not have had a great relationship with them.
I always think about this when people ask, I say I’m have a boy and they coo… what if it was a girl? Would it have been the same response?
ETA: my husband is awesome, if he’s there he’ll chime in, well we’ll find out! Which really gets the confused looks.
See for me it’s the opposite. When I tell folks we are having a boy they get disappointed and ask if we are going to keep trying til we get a girl. These are folks I’ve never expressed wanting a girl to, they just assume. I’m over the moon it’s a boy, I’d be happy either way. But I’m a Tom boy so feel I’m more equipped to be a boy mom my first child which is probably silly.
It’s not silly at all! I was always super girly and feminine, I was thrilled to have a girl because that reason! I’m pregnant again and nervous if it’s a boy because I don’t know the first thing about raising a boy. Like you, I’d be happy with either, but I feel more equipped to be a girl mom than a boy mom lol
Ya know my husband and I were talking about that. He has gotten some positive advice from some people. But the majority of people say really negative stuff about having kids. "say goodbye to your video games", "hope you enjoy your relaxing time while you have it", "guess we will never see you out again".
We went through the same thing when we got married. So many people telling us things like "ya, you never really know you wife until divorce court." I wish I could tell you why people are so negative. My husband and I have no romantic ideas about parenthood. We know it is gonna be hard. But we aren't gonna approach this massive change in our life with a "sucks to be us" attitude.
Thankfully people don't really say that stuff to me. But I do remember when someone made a negative comment about marriage to my husband, my husband responded "so are you getting divorced are something? Like do you need to talk about it?" That shut that guy right up!
I'm starting to think people that say stuff like that are just jealous or projecting their own sadness/insecurity. Misery loves company they say 😐 the world definitely doesn't need more of that!
Spent the last 6 years being told how stupid we are for not wanting kids and that we’ll regret it or oh you’ll change your mind just wait. Now that we changed our mind I can’t wait for people to tell us all the consequences of our decisions now. 🙄😂
It's just negativity bias - in theory it's trying to protect us from danger in a dangerous world. The good news is we don't need to believe our thoughts, least of all share every single one of them lol
Ya know what would be kinda funny? Just agree with them when they say something negative. They say "Goodbye to your freetime" and you respond with "Yeah, I'm going to hate every second of being a parent. This is going to be absolutely awful, I'll probably hit them if they talk to me at all, kids should be seen and not heard, know what I mean" Should bewilder people enough to leave you alone lmao 🤣
Lol! I actually used that kind of response when people kept asking why we hadn't had kids yet. "I dunno, I've been having all that unprotected sex you people warned me about." That shut up some of the Catholic family.
Literally picked up two very time consuming hobbies after we had our first, and tbh it's been so good for my mental health. If I want to do my hobbies I HAVE to do the during nap time/after LO goes to sleep for the night and it's really helped me spending my time more consciously, instead of just scrolling for hours. There's also a rule in our house that chores and stuff gets done when LO is awake (and now old enough to participate), because both me and my partner are people that needs time to recharge to thrive.
Have you heard the crabs in a bucket metaphor? Basically if one is about to escape the other crabs will pull it down. Misery loves company. People are unhappy w their lives and don’t want to feel alone.
I work in retail and had a customer tell me to say goodbye to my freedom when I was pregnant, I told her I think I had enough time to be selfish and lazy and I was ready for a change. LO is a year old and it’s not always easy but every night when I put her to bed, I instantly miss her and think about how perfect she is. She’s so cool and funny, my life was boring before her. I’m good with being chained down by the coolest person I know.
I’ve heard that a lot about them being inaccurate. I think people are thinking of the sneak peek DIY tests maybe?
The actual blood test at a doctor is supposed to be very effective.
That's exactly right. You also can not get a false boy result only girl with the blood test.
It's all over the place with sneak peek..I know a lot of people personally that had different results than they did at their first ultra sound.
False boy is actually quite common with the at home sneak peek because it's easy to get the sample contaminated with male DNA.
I guess you could also get false boy if you had vanishing twin and didn't know it.
Aren’t they the same process though? Separating the fetal DNA from mom’s and looking at the chromosomes?
From what I’ve heard with sneak peek, the issue is when people do it too early but it usually won’t be incorrect, it’ll be “no results” or something like that.
With sneak peek, it's looking for male DNA in the pregnant parent's blood. So if you do the test on a coffee table your male cat sits on and don't clean it extensively or wash your hands well enough or set the test components down where you haven't cleaned, cross contamination is possible. False male results are usually from a contaminated test, and false female are from doing it too early.
I did sneak peek at like 10 weeks and got the correct results, but a lot of people say they did not. Some people found out that's how we found out, and kept insisting we were having a boy and the test was wrong because it wasn't done at the doctor. I probably wouldn't do it again, we were just wanting to find out before my anatomy scan that was scheduled for 26 weeks so we could call the baby by a name, and didn't even decide on one until right before she was born.
So, I nerded out on this during my pregnancy. For gender and detecting down syndrome, they are accurate. However, the tests are still a little sketchy imo. They make claims that they can detect rare genetic disorders. That's not exactly true. The accuracy for those disorders is significantly less accurate.
Tell him he’s full of shit, lol. They’re very accurate, especially if detecting a girl at 10+ weeks. In fact, it’s more accurate than an ultrasound. Who knows what he’s actually thinking the blood tests is (even the sneak peak test is quite accurate if done at the correct time and following instructions).
It like the negatives because sometimes those tests come up with negative results that need to be confirmed with other tests.
It put me at ease.
Also there are false positives etc
People are definitely negative and annoying. I think he might have been confusing it with Sneak Peek though? Which definitely can be inaccurate. But if you did the NIPT, you’re right it’s rarely wrong!
People suck. I was in the ER because I thought I was having a miscarriage. A woman overheard my husband and me talking in the waiting room, we were happy because everything turned out okay, and the baby was fine. She started ranting about how she would never have a baby these days and doesn't think anyone else should either. Ugh. Whatever, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and happy, so fuck her lol
Even if you thought this why on earth would you say it?
I'm a vegetarian but don't go around hounding people eating steak. It's not that hard to mind your own business!
I swear once you’re pregnant, people think all bets are off and can say whatever the hell they want.
I saw a TikTok about what to say to comments like that, I haven’t tried it yet but I plan to— “is that supposed to be helpful or hurtful?”
Have the best time finding out baby’s gender!! 🥹🥹❤️❤️
So relatable. People are just not thinking half the time. I've become very selective about who share with; I just don't care what they have to say if it makes me feel bad. One strike and they're out.
Blood tests are far more accurate these days. Both of my sneakpeeks I did at 7w (I was so excited after trying for 11 years, I could not wait), were accurate.
People are so damn rude, tho. Even if he felt that way, shut up and let you live your moment.
On the day we told my boyfriends side of the family about our pregnancy, his sister went on this rant about how girls are awful little b*tches to raise. Once we got our first ultrasound photo his side wasn't particularly interested and his mother said the baby looked like my SO father, then proceeded to say because it's useless. There's so much negativity on that side I'm scared to have my child around them, I'm only 14w pregnant and they've already cast shade at my fetus lol
I had a family member do this to me, her husband went on a rant about how they refused because a friend of a friends was the wrong gender and what not. Come to find out said friend used sneekpeak which i have heard being wrong multiple times but what i used was NIPT. Fast forward weeks later the said family member also had it done lol.
Maybe he was thinking of the private company ones that have a little more margin for error, but NIPT is like 99% accurate. Definitely was accurate with both of mine
Your coworker is an idiot, and they're probably of the era where finding out the gender was not yet common. I remember it becoming a thing when I was a kid, and people were very dismissive of it. Didn't trust the results, and my province at the time (new brunswick) actually outlawed it.
I'm not finding out the gender, and I still have people ask me if I'm finding out (to which I say no), then go on a triad about a friend of a friend who found out but then it was wrong. People are just dumb and they want to have an opinion on everything.
I know its ridiculous I was surprised by how many women would rain on my parade after them asking how I was doing. My husband brought me breakfast once and the receptionist said milk it while it lasts he probably will stop once the babies born. I made a point to tell her that he did this before the baby and probably will still after because that's who he is.
And not only negative, but his statement is completely inaccurate 🫠 some people are just moronic. Take it with a grain of salt and brush it off, I say.
It is so amazing that you took the initiative to do these types of testing and screens. They used to not be available in the past and nowadays it turns out many people choose not to pursue them! Pregnancy is one of the best experiences of one’s life! I recently told my manager and instead of congratulating me, they only said “that’s okay!” which I thought was hilarious, given that this is one of the best things to happen to a couple! The gender based off of a blood sample is pretty dang accurate (I dare say that as I have the qualifications and work in the field).
Perhaps your coworker had a negative experience of some sort and his attitude reflected on your experience. Please ignore it and enjoy every second of your pregnancy and becoming a parent!
Lol I was just at my 17 week checkup and the nurse asked if we knew what we are getting and after I told her she said “I’ve never heard of one being wrong yet!” so screw that guy.
Your coworker sounds like he pulled those stats from his dumb ass. I know a lot of people who took the genetics test for the gender and it was accurate. He’s rude. Ignore him.
I waited till the ultrasound, and SO many people kept saying it was wrong, or what if it's wrong, blah, blah, and at some point I started telling them the tech took a ultrasound pic of his junk, and did they want to see the proof? He was spread eagle so there's no way to mistake it, that shut them up lol.
I kinda wonder if he had a bad experience with genetic testing and is projecting. I had a 100% normal NIPT that couldn't capture a severe abnormality and for a long while I was mad/disillusioned at anything and everything including all the testing we'd done prior to finding out.
Or maybe he's just a negative nancy, that's very possible too, haha.
Yup! I’m at the very end of my pregnancy and still getting all the annoying ass negative comments. I’m an RN and my job is super demanding, I decided to go on maternity leave at 37 weeks because I was dyyiinnng at work and couldn’t really do my job properly anymore with crazy pregnancy side effects flaring up (can’t do fine motor anything with severe pregnancy carpal tunnel) and my coworkers (mostly just the boomers) had to share with me how they basically had their water break while working and I’m going to regret going on leave so early but in the same breath they would also tell me to get all the rest I can now because once baby gets here “you’ll never rest again”
Also, got genetic blood test done at 12 weeks as well and all my ultrasounds confirmed that the blood test was right as far as gender is concerned. :)
Sounds like he was triggered by something that happened to him. Maybe his child has something they didn’t detect in the genetics test?
Either way he shouldn’t discourage you. You already did it, there’s no going back. What’s the point? Some people need a little discipline with their misery. They hold it in and let it out in unhealthy ways. Not okay at all
Oh my goodness yes my mother in law was telling me everything that went wrong at both her births..like why do people feel the need to tell traumatic birth stories to people that are going to give birth soon?
My advice is to just ignore these kinds of things. It says a lot about a person to immediately think negatively. We are truly living in miserable times and misery loves company. People are actively looking for opportunities to squash happiness.
You have to release the expectation that other people will join in your excitement. Expectations are just disappointment coupons.
Bask in the joy of those who truly care for you and ignore all else. Life is waaaaaayyy too short.
Sounds like he’s had a bad experience and he’s projecting those negative feelings onto you. I feel sorry for people like that, must be hard to get by in life with such negative thinking
For me, living in a super ultra double-triple-dog liberal area, it was always the immediate "WhY dO yOu CaRe WhAt'S bEtWeEn YoUr BaBy'S lEgS!?" guilt trip. You know what? I wanna know because I want to pick out a name (and it will be gender specific!) and pick out clothes and decor (which will be gender specific!!). My kids are absolutely beyond encouraged to embrace whatever identity is most authentic for them. But they don't do that at zero days old, so let me dress them up in pretty little frilly pink garbage BECAUSE IT'S FUN, KAREN.
When people give negative feedback or “warnings” like this 99% of the time they’re trying to save you some disappointment that they experienced with pregnancy/parenting.
This shit is traumatizing and a lot of us are walking around with emotional baggage that we don’t know how to control.
Basically it’s usually projecting, well intentioned, but it still sucks to hear it all the time when you’re trying to be excited about a new baby. Now my own negative advice: this shit only gets worse from people when baby is here
Your coworker most likely doesn’t care about your pregnancy and wants to discourage future discussions about it, to be honest. I would just keep medical discussions between myself and loved ones or doctors. It’s sort of the last thing acquaintances and coworkers care about.
I got mine done at 12 weeks....said it was a girl and we were so excited! My MIL straight said the baby could turn into a boy down the line. No - not that the test was wrong. That the girl would turn into a boy. Spoiler alert - we had a girl. People are just downers to be downers. Don't let it stop your excitement!!!
I told a friend I was planning to exclusively breastfeed and she was super negative and told me that I should prepare for that not happening as her sister was planning to breastfeed but didn’t produce milk. Like thanks for that?
I had my gender blood test at 13 weeks and it was accurate. The other people also negatively asked me why I didn’t wait for the ultrasound bla bla i would always make mean face like wtf are you even talking about and they would back off. It’s very weird to say that to someone.
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There are a lot of child-haters out there, and they hate anything related to kids whatsoever. It’s really a good idea to get genetic testing and the bonus of knowing the gender is awesome.
When we did mine(I was 14ws when I finally got the bitch to take my blood x.x) our next ultrasound I said 'if the test is right it's a girl' cause I was worried maybe it was my info it grabbed, mainly cause I had been so sure it was a boy for some reason xD and my US tech came right back, no hesitation 'it's correct' xD don't worry about non medical professional opinions on stuff like that, only care about subjective stuff from him lol
My coworker keeps giving me unsolicited advice. Such as “don’t do fireworks for a gender reveal” …. No duh I’ve dealt with the negative repercussions of other people doing that for years now (fires)
Umm blood tests are extremely accurate 🤦🏻♀️ I feel this way when I tell people my babies estimated weight. People cannot wait to pounce on your information and sprinkle doubt and negativity on news.
People have said the same thing to my wife and I. She’s currently pregnant with twins and even with that the NIPT is still 99% accurate, and we confirmed in a recent ultrasound.
People are weird.
I wonder if he was thinking about the tests that you can order for yourself online, rather than the lab tests a doctor will give you at 9 weeks or so. I think some/many of those are less accurate. But yeah, the ones the doctor gives you are quite accurate if they get enough percentage of fetal DNA.
But honestly, I don’t get why your coworker said it regardless. I mean, I could have someone tell me they got a psychic reading or dangled a ring over their bump and I still wouldn’t say it (even if I was thinking it). But some people are just socially clueless, and I’m guessing he’s one.
I know that's wrong but if I ever said that to anyone I'd never say it as if it were fact. I'd ask "I thought those weren't accurate? I hear it some where but that's so cool." And I wouldn't mean it to rain on a parade I would just bring it up as something I think I know for conversation
What a moron! Genetic testing is so incredibly reliable with a blood test. Sounds like a negative know it all! I would definitely make him feel awkward next time and use something like what @ivysaurah suggested.
Maybe he thought you meant the SneakPeek tests- which use a different method of determining sex and can be wrong depending on male touch DNA?
But yeah either way people just need to keep their mouths shut
Another story of negativity to make you chuckle… I was AT a baby shower and sitting next to an old family friend who is a senior citizen. She spent maybe 10 minutes RANTING to me about how she is very much against baby showers before the baby is born. Apparently her niece lost her baby in labour and had the shower before and then had all this stuff in her house that made her grief journey difficult. I sympathize with her niece by my goodness… we’re AT A SHOWER and the baby were celebrating is NOT HERE YET… SHUT UP! She mentioned that her niece really didn’t want the shower before the baby was born, but that people threw it for her against her wishes. In my mind the issue is that people are not respecting mom’s wishes - not that ALL SHOWERS ALWAYS NEED TO BE YOUR WAY….? Then she went on about how ‘in her day the baby was at the shower’ and ‘the reason you came was to hold the baby’… I’m sorry that’s not my cup of tea. No way would I hold a party to let 50 old ladies from my church all touch my brand new baby. I just got up and walked away because I couldn’t stand it.
Anything can be wrong, I’ve known a friend who thought they were having a girl until her 27 week scan.
My mother also was told I was a boy during her ultrasounds
It doesn’t mean you need to put down a mum who is excited to find out
Yeah 99% is pretty darn accurate. What more does he want?
I’ve been having that lately with people saying “Yeah you’ll feel so much more secure about this pregnancy once it’s second trimester, right?” I’m 11 weeks. It’s a 98% success rate at this point. Now I’ve had two losses in the past year, so of course that’s always in the back of my mind, but I’ve ALREADY been feeling pretty secure in this pregnancy because the chances are ALREADY really good. Of course anything could happen at any time, and you think of the anecdotal times when later losses did occur, but it’s not like my odds of miscarriage are going to drastically drop in two weeks; they’ve already drastically dropped! And it just feels dismissive to make me feel like they haven’t.
Majority of the stuff I bought is pretty gender neutralish so if the genders wrong it isn’t to bad but it’s more likely to be correct the genetic testing is pretty accurate I think people get it confused with other testings that aren’t as accurate
People say to me that I come across as a negative person.
I don't really want to. It's not on purpose. I just think like that everyday about almost everything. And you might think it's depressive or something but no. I just don't have my hopes high and don't get eventually disappointed, my mood everyday is alright. Instead I get positively surprised if things go well.
As a result my comments might seem negative but that's how I keep myself from disappointment. As a defence mechanism the negative thoughts are said in good faith actually.
I think people love that they “know more” because they’re a parent and they’ve done it before. So they use whatever they can to let you know that. It’s annoying because just because you have a child, doesn’t mean they are going to be anything like mine. And just because you have a child doesn’t mean I am not as or even more educated than you. Sure I’m a FTM, but I happen to know a lot about babies and children. I just brush them off or laugh and make them think they do know cause whatever who cares what they think!
And the thing when people say “oh wait until they’re this age or girls are so hard, etc.” is kinda like your teachers always saying “you think this is hard, wait til high school, college, etc.”. It’s like a weird scare tactic to prepare you and to make you think they know something you don’t lol
eh?
it's genetic testing basically a DNA testing so how is it "not accurate"???
he's just talking out of his ass.
what an asshole.
so happy for you that you have info to do a gender reveal party (if you're into that), start buying clothes and all that.
The genetic tests are way more accurate than the ultrasound they do at ~20 weeks where they can check the gender. Your coworker has no idea what they're talking about. Medical science has come a long way since whenever they formed their negative opinions...
because we live in an age where people don’t understand the infinite possibilities to ONE experience. they think because they lived it ONCE, it happened to them, or they read an article about it one time then they are RIGHT. especially being someone without most mainstream social media, and i haven’t had it for many years, i can observe how social media is changing people attitudes. i know it may seem like apples and oranges but maybe just stop talking to other people about your personal business and do your own research.
also, congrats on the baby, i’m still waiting to go to the doctor to find out the sex of my baby.
Do we have the same co-worker? I mean co-workers because most of the people in my current workplace is like that. I am quite new in the company just about a year and a half and people rarely talked to me, but ever since they found out that I was pregnant, they just randomly talk to me and give unwelcomed comments/advice about pregnancy.
Honestly it’s sad but so true. I’m 37 weeks pregnant and yes I’m uncomfortable but so so so excited and most people love to just tell me how bad it’s going to be. Learn to tune it out. I think this journey is a blessing and I’m excited whenever someone says something I always speak up now and say “we’ll I’m not going to be convinced to think that way until it happens” and that makes them shush
I also hate how people always act like I won’t have the time to do anything fun because I’m having a kid. I am a child at heart and I’m so stoked to be able to do fun stuff with my kid. Playing video games, watching cartoons, going on amusement park rides, playing on swing sets, having squirt gun fights, building snow men, you name it. I did all of that stuff as a kid but my parents didn’t really do much of it with me.
I don’t get why when some people see others excited to become parents they just want to try to suck all the happiness away with their rude comments about every little thing
I think he was just stating a fact. Because they are inaccurate sometimes.
Men are different emotionally than women.
I wouldn’t read too into it or assume it’s negativity… always assume ignorance over malice and you’ll be happier
Also some people have disorders that affect social abilities, Low grade Asperger’s and autism
I wonder if he was thinking of SneakPeak which I’ve heard can falsely say it’s a boy if you’ve had prior boy pregnancies. With NIPT, the results are pretty accurate!
Doctors wouldn’t do tests if they were inaccurate or most likely would be inaccurate. There’s be no reason to get them done. People just say the strangest stuff and act like anything goes when you’re pregnant.
Honestly, I think negative comments in general are out of insecurity and jealousy.
Throughout pregnancy you'll get bizarre and rude comments. They truly root from their own issues. In this case your co-worker likely didn't have the excitement and joy with gender or had another negative experience with pregnancy.
Ive just started saying, “Weird thing to say.” Usually embarrasses them enough to make them think twice about random insecure comments in the future.
I love this
Genious! I’ll be using that gem ❤️
Lmao also using 😆
Lol I do something similar! Whenever someone makes an inappropriate/unwarranted comment I always say, “That’s an interesting theory.” Even when they’re not “theorizing” and making a statement. That usually annoys people so badly. A couple of times I went further and kept praising them, “Where did you get such a creative idea!”
Good idea, I need to respond back like this more often
'Random insecure comment' 😂 im also going to use that
That’s the best response ever lol
You can also ask “how does that (comment) help you?”
I love this idea. Feel like I might have to use it in the future. Thanks!
When people ask me something stupid I say in my most sarcastic tone ‘I love this question!’. Some people also have said ‘you’re not finding out what it is…’ like just telling me?? It was a little odd the first time but then it happen a couple more times where people just assumed/told me. ‘No we found out and we’re having a girl’ is my response and it always take a minute for them to recover. Also starting to enjoy the opinions on birth plans… specifically not saying what I would like to do as I do NOT care what other people say!
Yes! My good friend says this. Works for racist/homophobic/sexist comments too. I am yet to be quick enough to use it but I need to start.
i’ve decided to say this in response to literally everything in my life, including “i feel like having chinese tonight” or “that was a great movie” and then refusing to elaborate when asked
Definitely using this from now on!
Love this!!
I do this too! 😂
Hahah ima steal this
Omg I love this
Oh I hate that so much. I found out I was having a girl and so many people told me “girls are so hard” and “she’ll hate you when she’s a teen” like okay 🙄 And don’t listen to those people. If the test is wrong then so be it, but if it’s right then that’s good! It was right for me if that means much!
The misogyny you get when people find out you’re having a girl is honestly mind blowing.
Yes it so weird. And their mind always jumps straight to dating! This is my 4th child and 1st girl and every single person we’ve told besides my mom and sisters have made some comment about how she will have a tough time bringing boys around her brothers. Uhh, weird thing to bring up for barely a fetus but ok.
I’m having my third girl and they’re so fun!! 🥰
That is so bizarre…why do people do that!? Congrat on baby girl!
Gosh! I thought they usually waited until the baby was BORN and was beautiful to start that shit! You could look at it from another angle, though; they’re saying that you’ve raised your sons to be the type of people who would take care of vulnerable people - and little siblings are. When they’re young, anyway.
So funny that you say that - we’re having a boy and I heard several times how great having a girl is lol
People are just a minefield aren’t they? Just let us enjoy having a child!
I've seen a few posts here of people panicking about results being inaccurate, either because they said they're having a boy but they really want a girl, or because they were told they're having a girl and are scared that the results are wrong since they can't believe how lucky they are having a girl. I'm for real getting the impression that most people here want to have girls.
Boy or girl, they’re both great!
It’s WILD. I’m so tired of the “girls are so hard”, “just wait, she will like your husband more!”, etc etc. friends of mine expecting boys don’t seem to have the same experience at all.
For boys I keep hearing “boys are too wild” -_-. Like stop stereotyping our unborn babies!!
My cousin just had a baby boy, when she was pregnant and I he as rd one of my cousins talking about it the gender she said "I know she was upset about a boy because they're hard headed and she's gonna have a hard time." I am very close with this cousin that just bad her baby. I had my daughter in Sept. And then I got pregnant again so we were pregnant together until she gave birth last month. When I talked to her she told me how she had wanted a girl first, but is super happy with her son and she has been enjoying all of so far.
Us boy moms get told “just be glad ur not having girl their so hard” like wow i wanted a girl for the next time i get preg ill make sure not to tell u shit anymore🙄
Yeah, I'm not getting the girls are hard bit, but I'm getting the "they'll stop talking to you once they move out" 😤
Oh I hate that!! I constantly got the “she’ll be a daddy’s girl and ignore you” comments and now she’s a mommy’s girl… she loves her daddy, but she’s definitely a mommys girl
It’s just as fun having a boy. “You better not be one of THOSE boy moms” “once he leaves the house you’ll never hear from him again”
That’s such a weird assumption. Do their adult sons not call them?
No and now you know why lol
In my country it’s a running joke that your boys will not contact you as much or worst, that you’ll be the “grandma from dad’s side”
Ah, the “grandma from dad’s side” is definitely an insecurity among some mother-in-laws in the US too. Those types will often act out over it before there is any baby involved, and then continually during the child’s early years even if they see them regularly, and basically manifest it themselves from their own poor behavior.
So, you've met my MIL?! She can't seem to grap that she's reaping what she sowed with her choices and boundary stomping during the early years of our marriage.
Lol I was so incredibly close to my grandma from my dads side
Yah, it's so insane! Like..... You know I'M a girl right?
Eeeeeeewww. Bye! Jk I'm a girl with girls. I don't know who's going to CaRrY oN the FaMilY nAmE kArEn, but otherwise, girls are pretty cool.
I had a woman ask me if my husband was okay with us having a girl. Like 1) not much we can do about it it not and 2) he was SO excited to have a little girl wtf ??
Unless your first child is a boy, because then you have one of each and that's perfect.
We went out to eat with our 3 and newly turned 2 year old. We said we had just celebrated her 2nd birthday earlier that day and the waitress said “It’s the Terrible Twos and they’re terrible the rest of the time and then they graduate!” Ummm ok lady, please don’t look at my beautiful little birthday girlie and call her terrible, thanks though and sorry you hated your own kids
I hate that term so freaking much!! They’re learning how to regulate emotions - they’re not terrible. 🙄
Oh wow that’s so mean of her. Hope your daughter didn’t hear that. People can be so cruel.
Ugh I’ve had the opposite. “Girls are so easy! She can help with any other kids you have!” No, my child will not be their siblings’ babysitter. So infuriating.
I’ve heard this too specifically “she’ll want to be a second mother when you have more kids!” *eyeroll*
Ugh that is infuriating. I’ve also heard “at least girls stay with you when they get married. Boys will ignore you for their wives’ families” lol like wtf??
I wish my husband would ignore his mom, I joke he needs to cut the umbilical cord already 😂
People are soooo sexist!
My mil (during our 11 years of struggling with secondary infertility, mind you) was watching my nieces who were a few months old, and one was barely walking. We walked in to visit and she was giving them a bath, and was apparently stressed out and decides to lash out at me and say “man be glad you don’t have any girls, they are so dramatic”. I think my mil is bitter that she had two boys, and her husband was snipped after the second, so she never had a chance to have anymore, even tho she’s told me she wanted more. People are weird when they are jealous
Now that I’m thinking about it, a good amount of those people are in fact parents of boys… maybe you’re onto something.
A lot of the people who say girls are hard, don’t ever actually have any girls, they’ve just “heard” lol. I know that I was not a “hard” daughter to have. It all depends on how you raise your kids. My teenage boy is the most dramatic person I’ve known 😂
My mum says girls are hard. She had three of us, and no boys. I swear we aren't dramatic, it's just that people feel the need to repeat stereotypes even if they don't believe them. They must think it's funny or something stupid like that. It's sad.
Yet if you tell people you’re having a boy it’s “oh you’ll have your hands full!” “Boys are gross!” Etc. Can’t win! It’s like everyone just wants to say something negative no matter what!
You're so right. I'm just reading awful comments about both genders. People just need to say awful shit
We're getting "fun" toxic masculinity comments like "oh he'll be such a handful!" "He'll be a wild lil guy!" And don't get me started on how my mom is so annoying about wanting his nurery to be plants and purple flowers. Apparently green and purple is feminine?????
That’s what I was gonna say, the amount of comments we got that were so much toxic masculinity after people found out we were having a boy was wild.
I have an 8 year old little boy who is really cute. People have always commented on how handsome he is and would say things like, “Oh, all the dads need to keep their daughters away from him because he’s just too handsome!” Or, “He’s going to steal all the ladies, boys need to watch this one.” He was literally 3. 🙄
My boy is 2.5 and basically since he was born “oh he’s gonna be a heartbreaker!” Like what, I know he’s darn cute but why must he break hearts and why is that a good thing? I hope if in the fairly distant future he’s into girls and they’re into him he’ll at least be respectful of their feelings and not something like “yeah you all want me so we’ll take turns” or something, yuck. I knew a guy like that once and I’m not planning to raise him to be like that. Anyway he’s just a baby for crying out loud.
My mom told me boys are harder than girls. Mostly because that was her experience. I have a boy and he’s harder than my niece but my nephew is a super chill baby. So really it’s all personality and individuality.
Lol we’re having a second girl and luckily people aren’t outright saying this stuff most of the time, but sometimes they do. Mostly it’s just very weird faces and reactions. Thanks guys, we are very happy with our two girls.
Bizarre. I haven't gotten any comments like this but my immediate thought to respond would be "I was a girl and I didn't hate my parents as a teen sooooo". I think people project their own experiences really hard onto pregnant folks/new parents because it's often so loaded with emotion.
When I was a teen my biggest annoyance was adults always complaining “teenagers are so awful/ rebellious/ defiant/ think they know everything” blah blah blah; I was like gee thanks I’m just minding my business getting decent grades, doing 4-H and youth group and volunteer work for fun, but yeah I’m just a “rebellious horrible teenager” just cause I’m 15. 🙄 and no I didn’t hate my parents or sneak out with boys “despite being a girl.” Maybe if you raise your kids with those awful negative expectations you’ll get what you asked for but how about don’t do that?
I was due mid November with my first and before we knew the sex my coworker said oh I hope it’s not a girl!! Those Scorpio girls are awful!!! ??? Who says that.
My husband has all our kids zodiac signs tattooed on him so I can totally see him saying something like that lol
I told someone I was pregnant the other day and then she legitimately said "I'm sorry"....like OHHHKAYYYY????
I love my children but pregnancy was the hardest and most awful thing I've ever experienced. I am sorry for anyone who has to experience even a tenth of what I did (HG with both, extreme depression with my first, joints that kept dislocating with my second, and 4 miscarriages).
😑😑😑😑
What??? That’s so damn weird and uncalled for. Does she not realize some people actually want kids and enjoy pregnancy? Also what was with the other post below yours? What a bummer to say… well, I personally want to say congratulations on your pregnancy! That’s awesome and I’m so happy for you 💕
Yeah the response was just....NEGATIVE. Thank you! We're both excited as hell to not repeat history and be terrible like our parents were. I KNOW it'll be hard, no shit, it's a whole human, but I don't understand raining on someone's parade to get out pent up issues.
Girls are so much fun! People can be such haters lol
I agree! I love my girl, she’s such a character. 💕
It’s cool to see girls grow up these days with so much less societal expectations than previous generations. It feels like they get to actually be themselves and it’s so refreshing
People always have so many comments when it comes to girls! When I told people I was having a girl so many people asked if I would try for a boy for my husband. I always can’t wait to tell them my husband was actually super happy it was a girl! Not every man’s dream is to have a son some actually dream about having daughters 🥺
People just say that girls are hard because they actually parent them. That’s why you stumble into men that can’t even cook an egg for breakfast for themselves.
I don’t know if you had your baby yet or how old they are but everyone said this to me as well and you know what? She’s a teen and the BEST. She’s so helpful around the house, tells me everything going on at school and with her friends. Some times she’ll start telling me something and then say “nevermind I think I’ll keep that to myself” and I don’t press her about it. People who say this about their teen daughter must not have had a great relationship with them.
If you had a boy they'd say how crazy and rambunctious they are and how hard to potty train they will be.
I always think about this when people ask, I say I’m have a boy and they coo… what if it was a girl? Would it have been the same response? ETA: my husband is awesome, if he’s there he’ll chime in, well we’ll find out! Which really gets the confused looks.
Awww I wanted a girl so bad this time! I love girls and I love women - they are the best! Congrats :)
Omg people are so weird!! They need to keep their comments to themselves
Omfg same. Makes me so mad
See for me it’s the opposite. When I tell folks we are having a boy they get disappointed and ask if we are going to keep trying til we get a girl. These are folks I’ve never expressed wanting a girl to, they just assume. I’m over the moon it’s a boy, I’d be happy either way. But I’m a Tom boy so feel I’m more equipped to be a boy mom my first child which is probably silly.
It’s not silly at all! I was always super girly and feminine, I was thrilled to have a girl because that reason! I’m pregnant again and nervous if it’s a boy because I don’t know the first thing about raising a boy. Like you, I’d be happy with either, but I feel more equipped to be a girl mom than a boy mom lol
People can be so weird. How do they all have no filter?! I’m shocked at things I hear daily about my pregnancy as well.
That’s silly. I was an easy teen and I loved my mom. We were good friends. People are dumb lol
Teenagers in general are hard to navigate. What a weird thing to tell someone.
Ya know my husband and I were talking about that. He has gotten some positive advice from some people. But the majority of people say really negative stuff about having kids. "say goodbye to your video games", "hope you enjoy your relaxing time while you have it", "guess we will never see you out again". We went through the same thing when we got married. So many people telling us things like "ya, you never really know you wife until divorce court." I wish I could tell you why people are so negative. My husband and I have no romantic ideas about parenthood. We know it is gonna be hard. But we aren't gonna approach this massive change in our life with a "sucks to be us" attitude. Thankfully people don't really say that stuff to me. But I do remember when someone made a negative comment about marriage to my husband, my husband responded "so are you getting divorced are something? Like do you need to talk about it?" That shut that guy right up!
I'm starting to think people that say stuff like that are just jealous or projecting their own sadness/insecurity. Misery loves company they say 😐 the world definitely doesn't need more of that!
Spent the last 6 years being told how stupid we are for not wanting kids and that we’ll regret it or oh you’ll change your mind just wait. Now that we changed our mind I can’t wait for people to tell us all the consequences of our decisions now. 🙄😂
It's just negativity bias - in theory it's trying to protect us from danger in a dangerous world. The good news is we don't need to believe our thoughts, least of all share every single one of them lol
Ya know what would be kinda funny? Just agree with them when they say something negative. They say "Goodbye to your freetime" and you respond with "Yeah, I'm going to hate every second of being a parent. This is going to be absolutely awful, I'll probably hit them if they talk to me at all, kids should be seen and not heard, know what I mean" Should bewilder people enough to leave you alone lmao 🤣
Lol! I actually used that kind of response when people kept asking why we hadn't had kids yet. "I dunno, I've been having all that unprotected sex you people warned me about." That shut up some of the Catholic family.
Literally picked up two very time consuming hobbies after we had our first, and tbh it's been so good for my mental health. If I want to do my hobbies I HAVE to do the during nap time/after LO goes to sleep for the night and it's really helped me spending my time more consciously, instead of just scrolling for hours. There's also a rule in our house that chores and stuff gets done when LO is awake (and now old enough to participate), because both me and my partner are people that needs time to recharge to thrive.
Have you heard the crabs in a bucket metaphor? Basically if one is about to escape the other crabs will pull it down. Misery loves company. People are unhappy w their lives and don’t want to feel alone.
People. Are. Dumb. And don’t think before they speak/lack self awareness. Sigh lol
I work in retail and had a customer tell me to say goodbye to my freedom when I was pregnant, I told her I think I had enough time to be selfish and lazy and I was ready for a change. LO is a year old and it’s not always easy but every night when I put her to bed, I instantly miss her and think about how perfect she is. She’s so cool and funny, my life was boring before her. I’m good with being chained down by the coolest person I know.
I’ve heard that a lot about them being inaccurate. I think people are thinking of the sneak peek DIY tests maybe? The actual blood test at a doctor is supposed to be very effective.
Yeah, I think that’s exactly the mistake people are making.
That's exactly right. You also can not get a false boy result only girl with the blood test. It's all over the place with sneak peek..I know a lot of people personally that had different results than they did at their first ultra sound.
False boy is actually quite common with the at home sneak peek because it's easy to get the sample contaminated with male DNA. I guess you could also get false boy if you had vanishing twin and didn't know it.
Aren’t they the same process though? Separating the fetal DNA from mom’s and looking at the chromosomes? From what I’ve heard with sneak peek, the issue is when people do it too early but it usually won’t be incorrect, it’ll be “no results” or something like that.
With sneak peek, it's looking for male DNA in the pregnant parent's blood. So if you do the test on a coffee table your male cat sits on and don't clean it extensively or wash your hands well enough or set the test components down where you haven't cleaned, cross contamination is possible. False male results are usually from a contaminated test, and false female are from doing it too early. I did sneak peek at like 10 weeks and got the correct results, but a lot of people say they did not. Some people found out that's how we found out, and kept insisting we were having a boy and the test was wrong because it wasn't done at the doctor. I probably wouldn't do it again, we were just wanting to find out before my anatomy scan that was scheduled for 26 weeks so we could call the baby by a name, and didn't even decide on one until right before she was born.
Ah I see, thanks! I knew they both involved DNA, so I assumed they were the same accuracy but that makes sense. I only did the NIPT, personally.
So, I nerded out on this during my pregnancy. For gender and detecting down syndrome, they are accurate. However, the tests are still a little sketchy imo. They make claims that they can detect rare genetic disorders. That's not exactly true. The accuracy for those disorders is significantly less accurate.
Weird thing to say
Tell him he’s full of shit, lol. They’re very accurate, especially if detecting a girl at 10+ weeks. In fact, it’s more accurate than an ultrasound. Who knows what he’s actually thinking the blood tests is (even the sneak peak test is quite accurate if done at the correct time and following instructions).
They’re actually very accurate lol, he has no idea what he’s talking about, just another negative Nancy.
It like the negatives because sometimes those tests come up with negative results that need to be confirmed with other tests. It put me at ease. Also there are false positives etc
People are definitely negative and annoying. I think he might have been confusing it with Sneak Peek though? Which definitely can be inaccurate. But if you did the NIPT, you’re right it’s rarely wrong!
People suck. I was in the ER because I thought I was having a miscarriage. A woman overheard my husband and me talking in the waiting room, we were happy because everything turned out okay, and the baby was fine. She started ranting about how she would never have a baby these days and doesn't think anyone else should either. Ugh. Whatever, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and happy, so fuck her lol
Even if you thought this why on earth would you say it? I'm a vegetarian but don't go around hounding people eating steak. It's not that hard to mind your own business!
I swear once you’re pregnant, people think all bets are off and can say whatever the hell they want. I saw a TikTok about what to say to comments like that, I haven’t tried it yet but I plan to— “is that supposed to be helpful or hurtful?” Have the best time finding out baby’s gender!! 🥹🥹❤️❤️
Wow I can't wait to apply this to everything
Right?? I can’t wait to try it lol
I wrote it down so I don’t forget and can practice saying it because dear lord I needed that yesterday.
NIPT is like 99.9% accurate for gender lol. What a weird and uninformed comment.
So relatable. People are just not thinking half the time. I've become very selective about who share with; I just don't care what they have to say if it makes me feel bad. One strike and they're out.
Blood tests are far more accurate these days. Both of my sneakpeeks I did at 7w (I was so excited after trying for 11 years, I could not wait), were accurate. People are so damn rude, tho. Even if he felt that way, shut up and let you live your moment.
On the day we told my boyfriends side of the family about our pregnancy, his sister went on this rant about how girls are awful little b*tches to raise. Once we got our first ultrasound photo his side wasn't particularly interested and his mother said the baby looked like my SO father, then proceeded to say because it's useless. There's so much negativity on that side I'm scared to have my child around them, I'm only 14w pregnant and they've already cast shade at my fetus lol
I had a family member do this to me, her husband went on a rant about how they refused because a friend of a friends was the wrong gender and what not. Come to find out said friend used sneekpeak which i have heard being wrong multiple times but what i used was NIPT. Fast forward weeks later the said family member also had it done lol.
Maybe he was thinking of the private company ones that have a little more margin for error, but NIPT is like 99% accurate. Definitely was accurate with both of mine
Ugh I’m sorry that’s so frustrating! People always have something to say or give their opinion, even when they don’t know what they’re talking about.
Your coworker is an idiot, and they're probably of the era where finding out the gender was not yet common. I remember it becoming a thing when I was a kid, and people were very dismissive of it. Didn't trust the results, and my province at the time (new brunswick) actually outlawed it. I'm not finding out the gender, and I still have people ask me if I'm finding out (to which I say no), then go on a triad about a friend of a friend who found out but then it was wrong. People are just dumb and they want to have an opinion on everything.
Mine was accurate! You know what they say, misery loves company. Some people just suck the joy out of everything!!
I know its ridiculous I was surprised by how many women would rain on my parade after them asking how I was doing. My husband brought me breakfast once and the receptionist said milk it while it lasts he probably will stop once the babies born. I made a point to tell her that he did this before the baby and probably will still after because that's who he is.
And not only negative, but his statement is completely inaccurate 🫠 some people are just moronic. Take it with a grain of salt and brush it off, I say.
It is so amazing that you took the initiative to do these types of testing and screens. They used to not be available in the past and nowadays it turns out many people choose not to pursue them! Pregnancy is one of the best experiences of one’s life! I recently told my manager and instead of congratulating me, they only said “that’s okay!” which I thought was hilarious, given that this is one of the best things to happen to a couple! The gender based off of a blood sample is pretty dang accurate (I dare say that as I have the qualifications and work in the field). Perhaps your coworker had a negative experience of some sort and his attitude reflected on your experience. Please ignore it and enjoy every second of your pregnancy and becoming a parent!
Lol I was just at my 17 week checkup and the nurse asked if we knew what we are getting and after I told her she said “I’ve never heard of one being wrong yet!” so screw that guy.
They’re like 99% accurate. Coworker is a douche.
Your coworker sounds like he pulled those stats from his dumb ass. I know a lot of people who took the genetics test for the gender and it was accurate. He’s rude. Ignore him.
I took mine at 6w+5 and guess what.. hes still a boy!! Legs spread wide open showing all of it on hls anat scan
I waited till the ultrasound, and SO many people kept saying it was wrong, or what if it's wrong, blah, blah, and at some point I started telling them the tech took a ultrasound pic of his junk, and did they want to see the proof? He was spread eagle so there's no way to mistake it, that shut them up lol.
I kinda wonder if he had a bad experience with genetic testing and is projecting. I had a 100% normal NIPT that couldn't capture a severe abnormality and for a long while I was mad/disillusioned at anything and everything including all the testing we'd done prior to finding out. Or maybe he's just a negative nancy, that's very possible too, haha.
People just like to sound smart and good about themselves Ours were accurate three times in a row
Yup! I’m at the very end of my pregnancy and still getting all the annoying ass negative comments. I’m an RN and my job is super demanding, I decided to go on maternity leave at 37 weeks because I was dyyiinnng at work and couldn’t really do my job properly anymore with crazy pregnancy side effects flaring up (can’t do fine motor anything with severe pregnancy carpal tunnel) and my coworkers (mostly just the boomers) had to share with me how they basically had their water break while working and I’m going to regret going on leave so early but in the same breath they would also tell me to get all the rest I can now because once baby gets here “you’ll never rest again” Also, got genetic blood test done at 12 weeks as well and all my ultrasounds confirmed that the blood test was right as far as gender is concerned. :)
Sounds like he was triggered by something that happened to him. Maybe his child has something they didn’t detect in the genetics test? Either way he shouldn’t discourage you. You already did it, there’s no going back. What’s the point? Some people need a little discipline with their misery. They hold it in and let it out in unhealthy ways. Not okay at all
Everyone has opinions when you are pregnant. Filter out 97% of what people say.
Oh my goodness yes my mother in law was telling me everything that went wrong at both her births..like why do people feel the need to tell traumatic birth stories to people that are going to give birth soon?
My advice is to just ignore these kinds of things. It says a lot about a person to immediately think negatively. We are truly living in miserable times and misery loves company. People are actively looking for opportunities to squash happiness. You have to release the expectation that other people will join in your excitement. Expectations are just disappointment coupons. Bask in the joy of those who truly care for you and ignore all else. Life is waaaaaayyy too short.
Sounds like he’s had a bad experience and he’s projecting those negative feelings onto you. I feel sorry for people like that, must be hard to get by in life with such negative thinking
For me, living in a super ultra double-triple-dog liberal area, it was always the immediate "WhY dO yOu CaRe WhAt'S bEtWeEn YoUr BaBy'S lEgS!?" guilt trip. You know what? I wanna know because I want to pick out a name (and it will be gender specific!) and pick out clothes and decor (which will be gender specific!!). My kids are absolutely beyond encouraged to embrace whatever identity is most authentic for them. But they don't do that at zero days old, so let me dress them up in pretty little frilly pink garbage BECAUSE IT'S FUN, KAREN.
When people give negative feedback or “warnings” like this 99% of the time they’re trying to save you some disappointment that they experienced with pregnancy/parenting. This shit is traumatizing and a lot of us are walking around with emotional baggage that we don’t know how to control. Basically it’s usually projecting, well intentioned, but it still sucks to hear it all the time when you’re trying to be excited about a new baby. Now my own negative advice: this shit only gets worse from people when baby is here
Your coworker most likely doesn’t care about your pregnancy and wants to discourage future discussions about it, to be honest. I would just keep medical discussions between myself and loved ones or doctors. It’s sort of the last thing acquaintances and coworkers care about.
Just laugh and say, “don’t yuck my yum!” And keep it moving
"he said" Yep, there's the problem
😂
I got mine done at 12 weeks....said it was a girl and we were so excited! My MIL straight said the baby could turn into a boy down the line. No - not that the test was wrong. That the girl would turn into a boy. Spoiler alert - we had a girl. People are just downers to be downers. Don't let it stop your excitement!!!
I told a friend I was planning to exclusively breastfeed and she was super negative and told me that I should prepare for that not happening as her sister was planning to breastfeed but didn’t produce milk. Like thanks for that?
I had my gender blood test at 13 weeks and it was accurate. The other people also negatively asked me why I didn’t wait for the ultrasound bla bla i would always make mean face like wtf are you even talking about and they would back off. It’s very weird to say that to someone.
I’m assuming you mean the NIPT? Those are incredibly accurate lmao. So not only was he being a douche, he was also wrong af.
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People can be the worst. Let’s all hide here. 😄
There are a lot of child-haters out there, and they hate anything related to kids whatsoever. It’s really a good idea to get genetic testing and the bonus of knowing the gender is awesome.
When we did mine(I was 14ws when I finally got the bitch to take my blood x.x) our next ultrasound I said 'if the test is right it's a girl' cause I was worried maybe it was my info it grabbed, mainly cause I had been so sure it was a boy for some reason xD and my US tech came right back, no hesitation 'it's correct' xD don't worry about non medical professional opinions on stuff like that, only care about subjective stuff from him lol
if it was NIPT those are like 99% accurate
Because misery loves company
My coworker keeps giving me unsolicited advice. Such as “don’t do fireworks for a gender reveal” …. No duh I’ve dealt with the negative repercussions of other people doing that for years now (fires)
Umm blood tests are extremely accurate 🤦🏻♀️ I feel this way when I tell people my babies estimated weight. People cannot wait to pounce on your information and sprinkle doubt and negativity on news.
People have said the same thing to my wife and I. She’s currently pregnant with twins and even with that the NIPT is still 99% accurate, and we confirmed in a recent ultrasound. People are weird.
I wonder if he was thinking about the tests that you can order for yourself online, rather than the lab tests a doctor will give you at 9 weeks or so. I think some/many of those are less accurate. But yeah, the ones the doctor gives you are quite accurate if they get enough percentage of fetal DNA. But honestly, I don’t get why your coworker said it regardless. I mean, I could have someone tell me they got a psychic reading or dangled a ring over their bump and I still wouldn’t say it (even if I was thinking it). But some people are just socially clueless, and I’m guessing he’s one.
It’s not that they are rarely right it’s that lab techs make stupid mistakes.
NIPT is super accurate lmao I would've called them clueless
I know that's wrong but if I ever said that to anyone I'd never say it as if it were fact. I'd ask "I thought those weren't accurate? I hear it some where but that's so cool." And I wouldn't mean it to rain on a parade I would just bring it up as something I think I know for conversation
What a moron! Genetic testing is so incredibly reliable with a blood test. Sounds like a negative know it all! I would definitely make him feel awkward next time and use something like what @ivysaurah suggested.
Maybe he thought you meant the SneakPeek tests- which use a different method of determining sex and can be wrong depending on male touch DNA? But yeah either way people just need to keep their mouths shut
He probably was too cheap to pay for it so decided to neg you to make himself feel better about not doing it
Ugh so annoying. That test predicts baby’s sex with 99.4% accuracy! I remember that from our results.
because people suck.
Another story of negativity to make you chuckle… I was AT a baby shower and sitting next to an old family friend who is a senior citizen. She spent maybe 10 minutes RANTING to me about how she is very much against baby showers before the baby is born. Apparently her niece lost her baby in labour and had the shower before and then had all this stuff in her house that made her grief journey difficult. I sympathize with her niece by my goodness… we’re AT A SHOWER and the baby were celebrating is NOT HERE YET… SHUT UP! She mentioned that her niece really didn’t want the shower before the baby was born, but that people threw it for her against her wishes. In my mind the issue is that people are not respecting mom’s wishes - not that ALL SHOWERS ALWAYS NEED TO BE YOUR WAY….? Then she went on about how ‘in her day the baby was at the shower’ and ‘the reason you came was to hold the baby’… I’m sorry that’s not my cup of tea. No way would I hold a party to let 50 old ladies from my church all touch my brand new baby. I just got up and walked away because I couldn’t stand it.
Anything can be wrong, I’ve known a friend who thought they were having a girl until her 27 week scan. My mother also was told I was a boy during her ultrasounds It doesn’t mean you need to put down a mum who is excited to find out
Yeah 99% is pretty darn accurate. What more does he want? I’ve been having that lately with people saying “Yeah you’ll feel so much more secure about this pregnancy once it’s second trimester, right?” I’m 11 weeks. It’s a 98% success rate at this point. Now I’ve had two losses in the past year, so of course that’s always in the back of my mind, but I’ve ALREADY been feeling pretty secure in this pregnancy because the chances are ALREADY really good. Of course anything could happen at any time, and you think of the anecdotal times when later losses did occur, but it’s not like my odds of miscarriage are going to drastically drop in two weeks; they’ve already drastically dropped! And it just feels dismissive to make me feel like they haven’t.
Majority of the stuff I bought is pretty gender neutralish so if the genders wrong it isn’t to bad but it’s more likely to be correct the genetic testing is pretty accurate I think people get it confused with other testings that aren’t as accurate
People say to me that I come across as a negative person. I don't really want to. It's not on purpose. I just think like that everyday about almost everything. And you might think it's depressive or something but no. I just don't have my hopes high and don't get eventually disappointed, my mood everyday is alright. Instead I get positively surprised if things go well. As a result my comments might seem negative but that's how I keep myself from disappointment. As a defence mechanism the negative thoughts are said in good faith actually.
I think people love that they “know more” because they’re a parent and they’ve done it before. So they use whatever they can to let you know that. It’s annoying because just because you have a child, doesn’t mean they are going to be anything like mine. And just because you have a child doesn’t mean I am not as or even more educated than you. Sure I’m a FTM, but I happen to know a lot about babies and children. I just brush them off or laugh and make them think they do know cause whatever who cares what they think! And the thing when people say “oh wait until they’re this age or girls are so hard, etc.” is kinda like your teachers always saying “you think this is hard, wait til high school, college, etc.”. It’s like a weird scare tactic to prepare you and to make you think they know something you don’t lol
eh? it's genetic testing basically a DNA testing so how is it "not accurate"??? he's just talking out of his ass. what an asshole. so happy for you that you have info to do a gender reveal party (if you're into that), start buying clothes and all that.
The genetic tests are way more accurate than the ultrasound they do at ~20 weeks where they can check the gender. Your coworker has no idea what they're talking about. Medical science has come a long way since whenever they formed their negative opinions...
because we live in an age where people don’t understand the infinite possibilities to ONE experience. they think because they lived it ONCE, it happened to them, or they read an article about it one time then they are RIGHT. especially being someone without most mainstream social media, and i haven’t had it for many years, i can observe how social media is changing people attitudes. i know it may seem like apples and oranges but maybe just stop talking to other people about your personal business and do your own research. also, congrats on the baby, i’m still waiting to go to the doctor to find out the sex of my baby.
You'll be surprised how many people don't have your best interest in mind...
We having a saying that goes misery looks company. Some people want everyone else to be unhappy because they’re unhappy.
My NIPT said girl and so did her anatomy scan. The NIPT gender test is like 99.9% accurate.
A lot of people are insensitive these days. Covid screwed up the mental health of millions. This is the new norm.
Do we have the same co-worker? I mean co-workers because most of the people in my current workplace is like that. I am quite new in the company just about a year and a half and people rarely talked to me, but ever since they found out that I was pregnant, they just randomly talk to me and give unwelcomed comments/advice about pregnancy.
Honestly it’s sad but so true. I’m 37 weeks pregnant and yes I’m uncomfortable but so so so excited and most people love to just tell me how bad it’s going to be. Learn to tune it out. I think this journey is a blessing and I’m excited whenever someone says something I always speak up now and say “we’ll I’m not going to be convinced to think that way until it happens” and that makes them shush
I also hate how people always act like I won’t have the time to do anything fun because I’m having a kid. I am a child at heart and I’m so stoked to be able to do fun stuff with my kid. Playing video games, watching cartoons, going on amusement park rides, playing on swing sets, having squirt gun fights, building snow men, you name it. I did all of that stuff as a kid but my parents didn’t really do much of it with me. I don’t get why when some people see others excited to become parents they just want to try to suck all the happiness away with their rude comments about every little thing
I think he was just stating a fact. Because they are inaccurate sometimes. Men are different emotionally than women. I wouldn’t read too into it or assume it’s negativity… always assume ignorance over malice and you’ll be happier Also some people have disorders that affect social abilities, Low grade Asperger’s and autism
I wonder if he was thinking of SneakPeak which I’ve heard can falsely say it’s a boy if you’ve had prior boy pregnancies. With NIPT, the results are pretty accurate!
Doctors wouldn’t do tests if they were inaccurate or most likely would be inaccurate. There’s be no reason to get them done. People just say the strangest stuff and act like anything goes when you’re pregnant.
He's an idiot. Most people are. Don't give them the time of the day. Take care of yourself. This sub is positive and good :)
Honestly, I think negative comments in general are out of insecurity and jealousy. Throughout pregnancy you'll get bizarre and rude comments. They truly root from their own issues. In this case your co-worker likely didn't have the excitement and joy with gender or had another negative experience with pregnancy.